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Nothing fixes it. Life completely is a scam

I just found these vids yesterday and im telling you...that 'mom, and step-dad ', have issues. I grew up in same mess!!! Same MESSS! NO! JUST NO. I realize he's grown now and im so happy this kiddo is OUT and a young man who can be happy and safe. This is all just terrible.

I don’t like his mom to force him to stay with mom not real dad because she want money from his dad from supporting child . I do understand but he is very tall and look more than 14 years old . Because she is not work and few kids on her home . I think he should let to be his father to make him happier with dad . He told mom that she abused to him wow . I think he should be to loving his real dad !!!!!!!!

10:59 is the blessing. Thank you.

I wish I could talk to you, I had an incident where an ex just left me and reached out to me 4 months later after I was healing.

Here's what you do with a covert narc d-n-l: No matter how she gaslights you, no matter how she doesn't engage with you, no matter how she's friendly with YOUR friends and is cold and unengaging with you, you have to smile in her face and push aside your frustration. Turn your feelings off. Her problem is hers. You can't fix her and you can't change her either. I know dealing with her is hard but if you say anything to her about her poor behavior, she's going to make herself the victim and go running to your son claiming how mean you had been to her. He's going to blame you and you might lose seeing your grandkids. This is something you need to realize, covert narc or grandiose narc set out to win. They play games. And they are masters at games. They like tormenting their targets to get them to snap. And when someone loses it, the narc has won. The narc will play the victim, pointing the finger at you, telling all sorts of lies to all her friends, family and especially your son. Your son will take his wife's side. Here's something to consider... He may know exactly what he's living with and maybe he takes her side to make life more peaceful in his home. There's no happy medium, no acceptence with any narc. You can't win. The best thing to do is when your son and his wife come to visit, focus on the kids and even your son. Stay in light conversations like the weather. Whatever you do, don't go deep. Don't try to settle problems with the narc. If you try to have a discusion like a loving mom-law with the narc, she will not listen and be reasonable. Don't waste your breath. When you talk to your son, don't talk about his wife other than how is she doing. Focus on your son and grandkids. But don't entirely exclude the narc. When you speak to your son be sure to send your love to the kids and the wife. This way you're not looking like your leaving the wife out. Don't ever show your true feelings. She'll get the upper hand. Good luck!

I was routing for Caleb. However, I do not like his views about policemen.

This video was so needed for me. I have finally hit the point where I can’t keep putting myself at harm by trying. It’s been 8 years of this strained situation. I am not walking away, but I am taking time to heal.

This is my situation exactly except add my DIL’s mother and father to the equation. The use of the word “spell” is literal. Her parents practice witchcraft to keep him under control. Never experienced anything like this. My only son, my only child 😡 So sad to see so many people going through this. What a nightmare

Hi Duane. I realized I’m no longer on your mailing list. You’ve helped me so much, almost 10 years. I’m glad you’re doing well. Thank you, Tina

Classic hypocrites.

Yep then throw a vindictive grandmother on top who is entitled even more than my ex who lives on his moms dime.

Do not ever talk to flying monkeys

It's been my experience to be surrounded by extremely naive people who are easily emotionally manipulated and not mature enough to think that first of all, it's none of their business what transpires between two people when it doesn't involve them and they automatically believe another person who acts sincerely distressed. It makes them feel compassionate towards the person acting heartbroken or distressed. They might feel guilty questioning the other person due to naive loyalty and they are more often than not, fearful they'll no longer be welcome in that group if they think independentky.The welfare of the other person isn't important to them but fitting in is. These were women in their 50's, 60's, 70's, and 80's. I never asked or stood up for myself when I was shunned. I believe it happened because I knew things the other person thought I would use to shun them, but I would never. I actually care about people.

Ya and the only alternative is to step away from the triangulation which completely alienates you from the children. 😢its horrible it is a disaster there is no logic. They dont care if they being illogical when they play the game. And they blame you

My mum died just over a year ago & her best friend who is in her 30’s ended up connecting with me and we got close, became friends and just comforted each other during the loss of her mum & best friend I also lost my mum, eventually we become friends with benefits and it went on from there for 9 months, she ended up calling things off with me over text saying she needed space and time to be alone, within a week she was with someone else & he broke up with her on the anniversary of her mums death, now she’s already seeing someone else and yet I still feel attached to her & I know it’s a trauma bond and would’ve never worked anyway but yet the feelings are still there, it’s been 20 weeks since she called it off and I still feel the same after one week. I know it’s dumb and yet I can’t change how I feel, it sucks.

Funny thing though is narc mom id doesn’t ruin my sisters relationship why is that I think it’s because I assume she can be a flying monkey for my moms gain when she needs it. Keep in mind everyone I am adopted so leaving said narcissist mommy dearest won’t be that hard at all. I have to think of my safety out of everything now before something bad happens to me that’s completely permanent something I can’t ever turn back from because I won’t be around to experience life.

I always just get very scared and paranoid she’s gonna find out about the one guy I’m talking to know and how she might ruin this as well. I haven’t told her nothing though but in the past she has tried to control my social sites which is real narcissistic. One of them being my facebook which is such a big privacy thing. Makes me think maybe she’s been reading all my texts I would send to my said boyfriend at the time. It scares me just knowing this could be a possibility. It’s time to take a stand though and SHE WILL NEVER RUIN ONE OF MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS EVER AGAIN. I’ll make sure of that it’s for not just my safety but for the said person I’m talking with and hopefully a relationship can come outta it. I have to protect both of are peace. He doesn’t deserve to get dragged into any of this. I would want nobody to ever experience that.

If it wasn’t for the texts messages I got a hold of from my narcissistic mother sending yeah she even went far as to putting me down to my recent ex. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful by snooping but she too was acting suspicious so was my ex at the time and he slipped up and told me something so I found her iPad that was open and read all these horrible awful texts about me. I also even have proof of her abusing me on video. If it wasn’t for all that nobody would believe me when I say I’m getting abused by her. Someone I know I was telling them about it and she didn’t really believe me at first tell I got said narc mom blaming all are family parents and putting them down. It made my cousins ex wife real angry that she even mentioned that because said mom was trying to say I think everyone’s making me life so hard that I think there all bad news basically. Even though deep down inside she can’t admit she’s the issue. Even blames my two toxic ex’s for everything. Narc mom is a big main reason I ended up with BPD though. Now I have to live with these painful disorder because of her and even from some of my other abusers as well. Like my two trauma bond relationships recent ex’s family being abusive to me. There’s a lot of things I never get a break. So that’s why im making it a priority I get a permanent break by leaving her and stopping communicating with narc mom or least really limit talking to her. It’s none of her business what’s happening in my life. She worries about hers I’ll worry about mine. Since she’s already been manipulative and controlling enough in it. I’m a 24 female by the way.

I have borderline personality and that explains it all why the narcissist repeatedly attacks me because I have deep empathy. The narcissist is my mother she’s ruined all my romantic relationships and has bullied me belittled me out me down all the time constantly plays the victim tells her parents my grandparents lies about me. It’s getting worse I’m moving out real soon and cutting off all contact with her she makes me wanna off myself how many times already. She verbally screams and yells at me as well. She’s been abusing me for years I can only remember it be 10 or 11 years. I remember it happening in my teens but everything else is a road block in my childhood I don’t remember the rest.

Manipulation though omission….💔

My daughter in law went into full force with her evil plan about a year ago now! My question is my son, is smart, so why is he acting so stupid, when it comes to my daughter in law manipulating her evil deeds? My son, should have had an awakening once this whole thing started! My son has completely done a 360. Red flags should be waving all over the place!!!!!

I can't believe you feel the same way as me. It's going on a year and I still can't let go. I know all what I should, but doing it it's so hard. I lay in bed, he contacts me and then he doesn't talk again to me. On and off.

Love this. 16Oct21 here. No contact is the gift I give myself. A little over a year til my youngest gets off court ordered support. Men can bounce back, pull together and help the next guy out.

Great advice…and thank you for your ongoing advice/encouragement.

This happened to me, After 5 years of getting the help I needed, I am now doing much better!

Ijust tell different lies to everyone just to see what story comes back .... Have fun kids ❤❤❤😊

This is SO true. Duane was all I had 4 yrs ago in divorce with a covert narc. My kids alienated, my finances rocked, my name trashed. But, I got it all back, dug in, relearned and rebuilt. Found the REAL reasons(narc mother) and went no contact for my sanity. Kids are back, nice bank account and real ppl get in my boundaries only. Again, from the winter of ‘2021-head phones on, long D&D walks…I thank you.

Zu;7|! Eachover

How do I get unstuck?!!!!

Thankyou 🙋

It’s sad that the courts do shit like this. It’s really sad that judges have that much power. And our government allows it. Even abusing it. This man was ordered to pay 4k a month and had to give up his allowed time with his kids to get out of the alimony like the fuck and then the courts punished him for talking to his kids on the fucking phone. It shows how corrupt the system is. He likely couldn’t afford the $4k a month in alimony and child support and still live. That’s another thing the courts make a man pay to allow his wife continue to live the same kind of life she was used to but he has to live way under his same lifestyle that he lived while married.

Are you a doctor?

Who are you for real and why are you talking and why should you get paid??????

It took me 4 years after filing for divorce and over 20 years to figure this out. I was a mess.. Now what happens when they lose control?

When i exited a family business where my wife was treated poorly there were plenty of negative thing said about me and my wife, I did not put effort into defending us at that time. I took another job and moved to another town. Moving solved most of the problem but it sure did feel good to hear from someone I knew say they didn't believe all the negative things said about me.

Excellent yes, blame is always put on the,victim.

I got a question.What do I do with my borderliners Stuff cause she won't come for it, I only asked her once and I went full. No contact actually radio silence. And thank you, this video really helps.

After living through a lifetime of hardcore narcissists, and even having learned tons about it, it is very hard not to be paranoid. They have betrayed us.

Really helpful video! Nailed it exactly what she’s been doing with me. Starting no contact from today and if only necessary I will reply 😊 will update my comment later on

Almost 4 years post breakup with my abuser. I'm still suffering. Not because I miss him or the relationship, but because I cannot trust others and form a genuine connection. The effects of emotional abusive can span years following the events that caused the trauma.

You can tell that you're a decent guy by just watching these vids. Thanks for the advice from Ireland.

Sometimes you do have to hold people accountable for their wrongdoing. They can’t always get away with lying, cheating, stealing and abusing.

Get rid of the number from the phone. Then you cannot contact them. Its bloody tough , but it gets easier

This one women I know gave me that stare ahe looked like a wild animal it seemed unreal.

It was a fake marriage to them

It was a fake marraige to them.

I'm feeling, like Amber is really lesbian, but she seems to have a love and hate relationship to men, and uses men to her advantage, while in real, she prefers women as partners.

My train wreck involved three DUI’s. A divorce. A ten year toxic relationship. However, the third DUI broke me for the better. Broke down 100%. Was forced to move one state away, to start from the bottom and build from the bottom upwards. The low self worth, anxiety, feeling like the black sheep in all my relationships, addictions, struggles after struggles. Di-Electic Behavior Therapy was a great form of therapy. I am left with a strange inner self that doesn’t enjoy much at all, except for going back to bed.

Shout out to the dads dealing with garbage mothers!!! Keep up the fight, those kids need us!!!!