Why Narcissistic Abuse Trauma Doesn't Go Away
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Did you know that there are common behaviors that can derail your effort to heal beyond narcissistic abuse? They will, in fact, keep you stuck in the trauma and cycle of abuse.
You may not think that engaging in these behaviors is a big deal, but I promise you it is.
You see, the trauma we endure within these relationships is deeply traumatizing and paralyzing and keeps your focus on the narcissist rather than on yourself.
I engaged in each of the seven examples I explain in this Thriver TV episode. I lived the consequences of each one until I realized the damage they were causing me. Some I wasn’t even aware I was doing, maybe you aren’t either.
But when you hit a wall, when you get to a dead end you have to try something different and turn your focus where it belongs - on YOU.
These seven behaviors and my explanations of them, are all incredibly important understandings which will help you avoid making these mistakes going forward. Thousands of Thrivers in this community have changed their trajectories by changing their actions. You can too.
More information on:
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It takes forever to get over it. Their madness rewired your thinking. They rob you of your confidence.
You are so right. Constant trauma leaves a forever mark we can't erase. So we fill our time in survival mode, desperate to connect with anyone who can understand. No one does. So we watch these videos and join groups to try and try and try to figure it all out. As though we can make sense out of nonsense. But now you're somebody who knows a new vocabulary. And you have a new addiction and cozy label: victim. And it doesn't get better. Eventually, when you get your mind back and you're far away from your tormentor, then, you can begin to heal. Thank you.
You have no idea how powerful this video is. After listening to my spirit and reading the Bible, God directed me to Module #7. It has done wonders. I can’t wait to find ways to fit it into my everyday life to address the “same problems in repeat” as you call it. ☺️😉 Oh and Module #8??? 🤔 I’m all over it. More healing is the way. Yes!!!! Guess this will have to be my roommate since my roommate can’t make it. Now, I can play these loudly with no roommate
I took NARP 8/2020. One of the best things I've EVER done for myself. Thank you Mel for today's video; I see how working NARP Modules (as well as viewing a number of these Thriver TV Videos I have in essence been "set free" (one "hook") that has been 'RELEASED' at a time. The narcissist's hooks are weakening & I am so mu stronger in MY SELF. YAY!!
The mission of the malignant narcissist I divorced was to destroy our peace, happiness, autonomy, .. our lives
I was spinning around in circles researching narcissism. It did feel like trying to jump across a river when I started to heal. However I had to take the chance. 😁
The Trauma I went through with my most recent discard was really messed up. But when she exposed herself and I realized that our relationship was a fake, I decided to let go and started focusing on my personal goals. I started my Fight promotion in NY again, I lost 35lbs, I started going Salsa dancing again, I am dating again but nothing serious. I regained a ton of my confidence back thanks to my weight loss and my work and me focusing on my dreams. Meanwhile, she's still smearing me and she's still watching everything I'm doing smh.
One of your most incredible videos among many great ones! Before finding your program, I spent decades trying to “think” my way out of a history of abuse, while only digging deeper in trouble. Going inward is the only way! Thank you so very much. You are a savior. I will only add that I have also learned to be patient and hopefully kind with myself - even with your great guidance, it takes time re-wire yourself after decades of abuse. I am trying to enjoy and appreciate every little discovery that arises along the way while knowing that it will only get better if I keep working at it.
I always start talking with people with “I think...” and “I feel...”.
Never knew this perspective on observing how it effects on the body and where i am addressing with using any of them, if my comment wasn’t too fast, this is a good lesson you can learn here.
Thankyou xx
That pain you feel in your upper stomach to me feels like a tumor that has its own painful, debilitating throbbing heartbeat. It has me doubled up on the floor wailing my eyes out.
It blew out my thyroid, chonic back pain, body inflammation, infections, agrophobia, depression and everything else you are saying.
Wowww I have been dealing with this alot lately
I can barely sleep
When my eyes are closed that is when it is the worst
Well, without doing at least a little research, I wouldn’t find this page. This amazing, helpful videos and the others. It helped actually identify what happening it just important not to get stuck in research but definitely make those life changes.
Thank you for your help, Melanie! Means everything. . .
(1) Metaphors heal...
(2) Fear filled homicidal abreactions against empty hearts from a love deficient biography heal...
(3) Arthur Janov primal screaming heals...
(4) Melanie's teaching(NARP)about her return from the deepest emotional abuse can heal...she's the epitome of Joseph Campbell's hero's journey...
(5) The love that God has for each of us...equal to his love for Jesus...can heal...
(6) The I Ching can heal...
(7) A Tarot reading inspired by spirit can heal...
(8) Jungian emotional Shadow work can heal...
(9) A convulsive good cry when traumatic emotional pain becomes sentient can heal...
(10) Understanding the science of emotional pain can heal...
(11) Trauma mongers dying can heal!
(12) Yoda can heal!..."Do (all these) or do not...there is no try"!
So helpful..8yrs researching NPD. Thank you!
The neuroscience part is so fascinating, and the insight is extremely helpful for recovery👌 Thank you Melanie
Thankyou Melanie, you have been completely helpful , am on a healing journey and I must say your advice in all your vedios have helped me alot,❤️❤️❤️,
some of what you said resonated,, I have healed a great deal from my 2 narc person abuse,,, I disowned one of them thirty years ago,, the biggest one happened 15 years ago after 45 years of abuse-- my own sister..... but your comment about law of attraction I have used it but not with inner happiness, I have never heard of LOA being associated with that... happiness comes from a state of emotional/mental being.. and I am very spiritual... but the mental clarity for me today was the unresolved emotional trauma from GOD betraying me. thank you for that revelation...
This video is awesome toward reclaiming full healing.
Yes, this is exactly 💯 what happened to me on every level. I surrendered on levels I had never done before.
Thanks Mel.
🪶🦋💐
Earth Angel.
This was so helpful! As always much gratitude to you 💜
I'm so glad it was helpful pinkpixie
Love you Melanie and it’s because of you and your methodologies that have been able to heal 😍such an amazing video
Love you too Anna! I'm so pleased my work has helped you in your healing journey. xo
Great video Melanie !!!! I will continue on my healing journey.
Thank you, this was a great video to start my day.
Thanks & good job! This is key to moving forward. 😉
This is so so good!
8:35 I get where groups can keep a person stuck in one place or one mindset. I am not a big fan of them for that or other reasons. However, it's important in "recovery" (more like discovery) to get some reality about where you have been and why you are having the feelings you are having. For too many of us, until we can talk to a therapist, watch a video or join a group, we have the idea that we are alone in this and we're the only ones to go through what we have been through. With abuse, we learn to be silent about it and bury it. It's important to be able to get to “the reality” that you are not alone. For some of us, we may not be aware we were abused or how abused. It is important to express those buried thoughts, feelings, and emotions and then be told that “you are not alone” or that there are other ways how that "could" have been. With a lot of trauma “victims” thoughts and feelings are fused, one needs to learn to talk to others who have been there. For me, that was where groups were very affirming.
The problem is that you don't want to get stuck there but it is important to go through that phase to be able to get grounded and move on. It’s important to know other people have been where you have been. It is important to take the time to acknowledge the pain with help of others or with a therapist to move on.
Her infos are really true and to the point. THANK YOU MELANIE ❤
I would like to rephrase lost all.. actually I gave up all...to be free.✌️🦋
A brilliant video! Thank you ❤️
It’s good to know there’s hope for me. 😩
You can do it 👍 just do the work and stop the emotional thinking about them, and the what if, they are a predator and they can't be fixed,get out in nature listen to the bird's chirping meditate, it's all about you now,it will take time, but you will be fine, and your not alone, everyone on here has been through this abuse, I've chatted with so many people on CZcams DR RAMANI talks about everything and she's helped me as well as Melanie 👍 up survivors and thrivers 🙏
If you are the best version of yourself, doesn't that mean your still not yourself, because your just the best version of self you built/decided to be?
I had a dream last night my ex husband (covert altruistic narcissist) appeared in my dreams trying to win me back. I’ve been completely no contact since 2019, so I don’t understand why this is still happening.
you’re so pretty
Oh i know
I just watched a video by someone else because the subject interested me and I'm feeling confused now, due to the fact that the person believes that healthy people can still end up in "relationships" with highly narcissistic ones, so there doesn't seem to be much hope in regard to doing the healing work!
I was under the impression that healthy, not perfect, individuals would take notice of their intuition, along with any red flags early on, even on a first date.
I've allowed terrible behaviour that healthier people wouldn't have put up with for long, if at all!
I'm very aware that there's different types of narcissists though, who pursue people with careers and take them to expensive restaurants and so on. 🙁
This is a great point! It's absolutely not true that anyone can fall and be swept up by a narcissist. I'll make a video on this soon.
I think it's true but a healthy person gets out much quicker .i have done tons of healing and inner work and when j met with a narc and got in a "relationship" it lasted no more than 3 months because I saw tons of things and my inner self was more aware of the off feelings
I am telling you the truth, if a person who was truly unconditional loved and has healthy family supportive systems, he/she is very easy to jump out and felt wrong with those narcissists and assholes, and would feel them very disgusting very quickly. yes, healthy People indeed can fall into their trap, but not affected them too long and too deeply... my mom is evil and narcissist, the more the victim innocent, and unprotectable, the more dangerous and deep harm fron those evils
Who should i contact about not being able to view the videos from the NARP program that i payed for? I have emailed 4 times and I'm sent an email that has a thing sign up for NARP yet I've been paying the payments for it.... Help me or give me my money back
Is NARP program fake or fraud? Could you please let me know?
@@sujatak it’s not fake. I’m working in the program now and Have had no problems with the videos 😊
These programs would be wonderful but cost. The narcassist stole all your money and ruined your credit. Those of us who lost all will have to keep doing shadow work and blocking on our own. 👍✊✌️💞🙌🦋
I agree