Netflix Alexander: The WORST Warfare on Television
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- čas přidán 11. 03. 2024
- Are we really doing this again netflix?
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There's a reason why the armor is so horrendous. They are literally reusing assets from other Netflix historical shows like Vikings. In fact the armor and helmet that so thoroughly puzzled you are from Vikings. The armour is so bad because they could not be bothered to make period accurate ones they just recycled props from prior projects.
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
@@Uzair_Of_Babylon465 Yes. It's still overly dramatic and the armour can be straight up garbage, but it's much better. Plus it is genuinely a good dramatic series if anything else.
Which is extra insane because they didn't even need to make it themselves, they could have just paid for existing historical props that are used all the time 💀
@@someromaboo another question do you think mehmed II is underrated leader compared to other rulers
@@Uzair_Of_Babylon465he is. He laid the foundation for Suleiman to come
Those two guys with the correct helmet, probably has it because they brought it from home.
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe they're reenactors. You know the people that reenact different things in history. Those suckers get things exactly right! Part that got me was if those were the correct helmets, why didn't they put them on the people in the front line closer to the camera?
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
@@LKMNOP Because it's Netflix. They're incompetent beyond excuse and shockingly inept at anything they do.
Re Docu-dramas:
never half ass two things - whole ass one thing.
- Ron Swanson.
Tbf theres no reason you cant do both fully lol. In concept its a great idea just they always half ass it
@@mondaysinsanity8193 it's a weak concept which allows you to write half a story and rely on experts speaking to fill out the rest. terrible
@@CK144 i mean. If its done more as a documentary with really good reenactment no its pretty good lol.
I usually forgive costume errors (I worked in a costume department once, and sometimes we have no say), but to leave out one of the most important battles while having histories go on about what’s happening is just ridiculous. I’m so glad I no longer have Netflix.
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
In their defence, such a production would mean thousands and thousands of props and costumes. I know someone who worked on "het verhaal van Vlaanderen" a very correct show about the history of Flanders, and they alone (a much smaller production) used like 400 wigs. Now imagine this one.
@@houseplant1016 while I agree with that, something has to be said for having a well equipped prop department. They can be used on other productions. But, I think Netflix is doing the whole "number must go higher" corporation model that's killing everything right now.
@@houseplant1016... If HBO can do Alexander and the costumes correctly. I don't see why Netflix can't...
Doing Alexander the Great and messing up battles is like doing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and completely removing the factory.
I really hate how cheap most props look these days.
It would've been much more cost effective to just hire people who are LARPers like Star Wars has done with the 501st legion
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
Well that's partly because Disney still has quality control on those official costume groups so they meet the standards for whatever's needed.
-former regional standards rep 😅
@@zach-EchoesForAgesformer what??!!
His armor is almost identical to the armor that Rolo wore during his duel with Ragnar outside of Paris in Vikings.
Considering that Netflix picked up the Viking sequel series, it stands to reason that they got a lot of the armor from the original. So they probably did, as you suggested, just used whatever armor they had laying around when they made Alexander.
Pretty sure it's physically the same armor
Ah, but does it have the cardinal sin of worst "historical" warfare tactics: the defenders fighting outside the walls of a city they're defending?
The siege of Tyre is also a very dark episode of Alexander's life with him enraged by Tyre's resistance and ordering to destroy the city. The siege ended with thousands of tyrian civilians getting massacred (and even crucified) and the survivors reduced to slavery. Not very in line with Netflix's godly hero
Well, he is a fair skinned, blonde and blue eyed male, so would that not actually fit the netflix narative better if they put more focus on some of his inhumane deeds?
@@babaschwein4308Gee, its almost like your victim-complex of thinking Netflix is somehow "woke propaganda" is entirely wrong or something. Go feel bad about other people having rights somewhere else.
@@babaschwein4308 Alexander's granite bust shows he is a BIRACIAL, as the texts said...
His mother was a BLACK MACEDONIAN "pythoness".
His father, Phillip II, was White Kazakhstani invader; a "Phillistine"...
Yea it's not like they already tried to convince us he was gay since episode 1...
@@ynraider what?
Thank you for channeling my pained history buff noises.
Worse warfare than the end of Game of Thrones?
Delicious!
could netflix contact creative assembly and just use total war to simulate some of combats? It probably would've been cheaper and more accurate, than everything else they did.
i would create the in game battles for them myself at this point 😂
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
@@historyofeverythingpodcast The history channel did this when I was a kid. I saw the ad for a new "Decisive Battles of History" where they utilized Rome Total War 1 and my 12 year brain was blown seeing not just thousands of troops on screen acting out these battles, but the fact that maybe I could actually get such a game. It wouldn't be til Rome 2 that we actually got halfway realistic graphics.
Also, Check out Mount and Blade 2: Bannerlord fan made cinematics. they are incredible.
I was just thinking that! Obviously no one who was on this show played Rome Total War when they were growing up 😂
@@historyofeverythingpodcastThere are history channels that do that already, there is an Alexander The Great Series in YT that show the battles on a big map and put Total War battle videos to symbolise stuff
Skipping the siege of Tyre is the same as if Netflix did a summarized version of American History and just skipped over the Civil War. A pivotal moment of the period being covered but "meh... budget... and gotta keep the audience engaged..." Netflix used to be a nice service but nowadays they truly are a wart on the ass of entertainment. Thank you for suffering through this garbage so I didn't have to. You rock, my dude!
I mean, I personally use Netflix more for the non Netflix shows, like I watch various Kdrama's that are on Netflix. So I don't know if they're wart on the ass material yet (though Brooklynn 99 is only available overseas which made me incredibly sad when I find out). My only problem is they seem to cancel all the shows they make that are actually good.
@@CircusJeanie2399 Netflix went full-Hollywood. They stopped paying for streaming licenses to focus on making their shite shows. There's always less and less non-Netflix shows on their platform as they let them go to other platforms (I think B99 is on Disney+?).
So yeah, it's a wart on the ass: less _good_ stuff to watch, more crap being pushed, more unwanted series, more cancelled shows that were good, and to to it all off, they keep rising their prices.
Netflix when seeing actual armour from the period and going like: Naaah! We can do better. (God it's awfull)
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
I think it's mostly recycled armour from other shows because they didn't have a big budget for this one.
Darius' mother was also in the camp- & she, possibly rather more than Darius' wife forged a relationship with Alexander- & they don't mention or show her at all?
Looks like the Netflix Alexander producers didn't play Rome Total War when they were growing up 💀💀💀
I still remember all the debate around the errors in Rome Total War (looking at you Egypt!!), but my god, historical Netflix productions are a train wreak. It's like they failed history in school and are trying to get some sort of revenge.
just wait until you see the persian archers.
They gave them bows strung backwards
When it's so bad, everyone considers the drinking game that would kill us.
Can wait for the breakdown of Shogun. Much happier viewing.
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
@@Uzair_Of_Babylon465 yes
@@Uzair_Of_Babylon465no
Agamemnon's armor was clearly fashioned out of an ankylosaur carcass. I don't see what's so confusing about that. I thought you knew history! They used to make stuff out of animals all the time, back before we discovered plastic
The ancient Greeks were wise enough to recognise the clear superiority of the Ankylosaurus. If only he had used a clubbed tail as a weapon he would have won.
At this point it's easier to draw the soldiers on a piece of paper and make a tabletop war game with more accuracy than the battles on this show.
They really should just animate the battles. Draw a version of the leaders in the style of the art of the time, draw two guys and copy/ paste to represent the rest of either side of the forces, and show how the battle actually worked. Heck, even making it look like chess pieces to represent calvary and archers and what not would be better than another melee.
I appreciate you watching it so that I don't have to.
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
He ended up killing Cleitus the black during a drunken argument, now that's gratitude for you!
Yes he did, but he regretted it immensely afterwards, he was distraught over the incident and IIRC - he gave him a nice hero's funeral.
Even the greatest conqueror of antiquity was just a man, no more noble, wise, or less beholden to sheer luck and inherited circumstances than any of us.
@@fromthefire4176 You think you've said something wise or profound? Hardly. Sure, he wasn't perfect but was infinitely more noble and wise than most of us - his achievements speak to that. As for sheer luck, yes he was lucky to have been a son of Philip II, but also possessed intelligence, drive and determination not to squander the gifts Tyche (a.k.a. Fortuna) bestowed upon him. Compare him to, say, Commodus and perhaps you'll understand how exceptional Alexander the Great was.
@@BlackQback“noble and wise“? What? The guy was undoubtedly a military genius and exceptionally skilled fighter but he was also prone to uncontrolled outbursts of violent, even murderous, rage and a brutal conquerer. Those traits are not generally described as noble and wise.
@@laecard1778 😏 Put it in perspective, please.
3:42 I’m pretty sure that’s just the recycled “armor” that Rollo was wearing in Vikings when he defended Paris 😂
I'm so glad that in Germany there is a documentary show which is much more accurate (though still with some inaccuracies) without loosing the dramatic effect. It's called Terra X. They also did a small series on Alexander, it's really good, I think. It's here on CZcams and you can translate it with subtitles.
The armours and people and also the military prowess is much better depicted.
They still like bracers, though
The lack of tactics sucks cuz it trivializes the silver shields which are a big deal to the greater story with diadochi etc.
Showing footage from Total War would've been a better portrayal for the battle scenes
did not the history channel do something like that for their historical series? but yeah at least with total war pixel you can show army units and how they move across the battlefield.
@Marveryn I don't know I it was the history channel, but I believe your thinking of Decisive Battles, which can be found on CZcams.
A rule for the Netflix documentary series shows:
Take a shot of Malort every time you say(or think) “oh come on”
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
Despite his age Alexander was a brilliant tactician. Thank you for highlighting how he used his superior tactics to overwhelm opponents with larger forces. It’s a shame they chose to focus on other things. Hes my favorite historical figure. Perhaps one of the greatest strategic warriors who ever lived. Although his India adventures exposed his lack of adaptability in the face of new environments and animals.
He won in India.
I already shuddered when I saw the persian troops with plastic cartoon scimitar
Shut up. That did not happen.
@@Cringe_Doctor it did not.
Whats with popular media and swords? I get it because its close quarters but it is so misleading making people think everyones main weapon was a sword. Spears are underrepresented in media
I don't think that we would ever see a good representation of ancient iran in our lifetime.
@@motivatedtoscapechildsupport
We could make it happen.
my opinion is.. netflix has healthy body but they're missing a head
I’ve made this point before about historical content. It’s not okay to get the details wrong, because for fans of the actual history that’s usually what we’re there for. There’s also the point that it’s so easy to get these things right. A good example of a show I find unwatchable is Our Flag Means Death. The jokes are fine, but the constant mixing up of sailing terms just makes no sense. It takes less than 5mins to look up the difference between a halliard & a jib, port & starboard, bow & castle.
This is something I can really respect about Titanic. It’s a shite movie, but man did it do the ship & the sinking justice.
The armor is from freaking Viking. That thing, those triangle cube stuff stick out of the " armor"
My friend, I believe your frustration of battle tactics depictions on screen comes down to one thing, Actor safety. The spear tips point up to prevent an accidental stabbing, the heavy swords are made of foam or plastic and sword malee is easier to control verses a phalanx. They are not trained soldiers and no production company has the time or money to train them. In my 30+ years in production, I describe actors thusly, they stand on the track, point to the oncoming train and say look at the choo-choo. Actor safety is always the number one priority in any production. It is either that or they are getting the cheapest stunt company it the area. Netflix is also not putting the money into costuming. They are calling multiple warehouses and saying give me what you got.
Hmm? A tiger. Hmm? Tiger, tiger, tiger.
- Hmm! Bird. Birdie. Birdie, birdie. Hmm
It's so much more upsetting because it demonstrates that it could have been so much better. It's the wasted potential that is so sad. With the other "docu-dramas" there was very little worth saving there at all so it didn't feel like that much of a loss.
Oh man. If you want a heart attack there is a netflix show about Rome and Julius Ceasar, and they depict Ceasar as pissed that he got governorship of T-Alpine Gaul... Yeah i just can't
I absolutely love these
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
I am curious about one thing: They managed to get few pieces of helmets/armor etc right, so why just not copypaste that one correct type.
Yeah I know what I may suggest with this but if whole unit of soldiers have some kind of helmet or armor why just copypaste.
This brings me to one thing and I need someone who could confirm or deny this option. Would be it possible to hire bunch of LARPers to participate in this battles? Surely you could find a lot of these guys and they would have correct equipment.
It is completely 100% possible that they could hire LARPers for these. Star Wars has done it multiple times before with the 501st Legion. Also the 501st legion visits kids in hospitals and does charity work.
23:29 im suprised you didnt point this out, but LOOK AT THOSE SPEARS!
I know, they look so cheap. Like the first one looks like it's drooping
7:00 I swear they just reused Rollos armor from Vikings
Also, Persian women sometimes even were commanders on the battlefield.
I would love to see a documentary were they have those tropy braces on a roman and then they stop and just through them away before breaking down how they really dress and were armed.
If they did a quick armour breakdown with a good recreation of whatever armour they needed for the time and location then all this foam stuff would look less bad as they show you what it wouod all really look like
Shows that don't give care to the costumes aren't going to give care to anything else because they don't respect what they're making. Watch virtually anything and the best writing occurs in shows that made real effort with the period costuming.
It's usually a package deal. If you don't care enough to not give one of the main characters a prop from another show where it already was entirely out of place and wrong, why would you care about any other aspect?
The first armor set looks almost Asian, like Samurai armor. The other armor looks Germanic. Perhaps they are reusing props from other history shows? Definite WTF moment.
28:00 Netflix writers aren’t going to let the POC flee in terror.
Did not expect a reference for Kung Pow. Such a guilty pleasure!
Netflix Roman Empire also fails, especially with Caesar. They skipped the majority of Gaul, Britain, Dyrrhachium, completely skipped the Alexandrian War, Spain, and Africa. They also don't even mention Octavian/Augustus being his heir.
Great video.
And thanks for, yet again, warning me off Netflix series that I might have tried watching if I was tired and beat down enough, and been filled with regret and resentment.
11:18 I have wooden, spray-painted swords that look more convincing than that.
Why wouldn't ancient warriors throw themselves into a melee, they respawn at camp don't they? :P
Still a better battle than battle of winterfell.
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
@@Uzair_Of_Babylon465 Absolutely.
omg this is giving me flashbacks of when i watched a "documentary" about the Cimbrii War of the late Roman Republic. >W>
The props, armors, weapons etc. were just as bad.
I was more shocked that they actually cast a white guy as Alexander...
Ok not a drinking game but how about adding a bracer counter lol
3:49 That's actually armor from the Vikings Show, to be specific Rollo's
the only thing i can think for the lack of boeotian helmets with the cavalry is them using other helmets to disguise modern riding helmets, which is giving them wayyyyy too much slack
I visited Salzberg when I was stationed in Germany. Beautiful city.
The spears are pointed up because the Persians might do jump attacks :D
All the weapons look droopy and sad. Like they got rubber spears and couldn't trust the extras with real shields.
Thanks for your sacrifice Stakuyi
The battle of the Granicus River is one of my favorite battles BECAUSE of the perfect use of the oblique order that Alexander learned from Phillip. They did a real injustice by not explaining this. I even explain it to my 6th graders when I cover Alexander.
No. The Cleopatra-Fiction was worse.
Lets play a drinking game. See a bracer, take a shot. Wrong armor, take a shot. Wrong battle tactics, take a shot.
You going off on Bracers sounds like me going off on Stirrups. Granted finding actor/riders proficient in riding without them is hard, but god it's a flame 3 feet high...
History Channel must of had more budget than netflix.
Surely not all the Greek mercenaries left after the battle were sent back to work in the mines? Wasn't the deadly argument between Cleitus the Black and Alexander all about Alexander back tracking on making Cleitus satrap of Bactria during the feast celebrating his appointment and instead ordering him ti take 16000 of these mercenaries North to fight against nomads? An instruction Cleitus took as a massive insult.
4:11 Moving on from armour that looks like they skinned an ankylosaurus (collab with the Metatron?)
🦁 ☀️ 🐝 ⚡ 🦅 ⚡ 🐝 ☀️ 🦁
With a 155 million dollar budget can you see the money on the screen
For the spears going up when they charge into battle about to clash,, I can forgive them cause they probably didn't want to run the risk of one actually hitting someone and with the amount of people charging, actually push either spear forwards or the people getting speared forwards, and actually impaling them, cause there is so many people and trying to stop that momentum isn't easy.
Could you also cover the pirate dokumentary netflix did? At this point I question every netflix doku.
Thankyou for shedding a little truer light on my main man. He had plenty of totally legitimate faults and shortcomings, they didnt always need to be twisting and misrepresenting him and slandering his name...
Even thousands of years later, the idea he represents makes the whole world either hungry for greatness, or jealous....
++ for the points about the equipment and tactics and everything else.
Albeit thats pretty much all historical battle stuff, not just this show particular XD
Is the rise of empires ottoman any better from a historical point of view than this?
Left flank hold the line!!!
You can't hold a line if there is no line!
I looks like, "bring your own armor to work day"
The scimitar is quite a ubiquitous weapon. The persians probably had it but they also had a few other variations. Or they never had it. In which would be hilarious but highly unlikely.
I don’t understand why a big fan of history would insult my favorite documentary, KungPow!
His wife is probably going to buy a bunch of inaccurate helmets after this. And bracers.
the modern horse tack is a cherry on top
The armor hurts my soul.
8:55 one of the other cavalry guys appears to only be wearing some kind of robe lol
I subscribed to your channel when you reviewed the triler for this show. I then got no notifications until this video. So I unsubscribed so I can start getting your videos in my feed again.
That armor looks straight out of Xena Warrior Princess
It appears that Netflix has hired some random punk kid they pulled from a Gwar concert to design their armor🤭
Stakuyi you should consider watching Padmavat and Bajirao Mastani. Think you'll like it. Also I would love to see you break down the armour and fights in each. Cheers from India
First guy on the battlefield to get lobotomized probably wasn't wearing a helmet.
its a bring your own fashion kinda military lmao
King pow should’ve had that sequel
There are multiple sources for the battle of Issus, some claim Darius fled like a coward, others claim he fought bravely and only fled when the battle was lost. It's unlikely any of them are entirely accurate and most definitely have their biases toward one side or the other.
Regardless of what exactly really happened, fleeing was the right strategic move. The battle was lost and had Darius been captured or killed, his empire would have been completely destroyed on that day.
I want to recommend a new drinking game based on your very own drinking game idea from first video you did on this. Every time Stakuyi complains about the helmets after the first time take a shot. We will be dead by halfway through the video gentlemen now cheers!😄
Please finish analysing the whole series. Go all the way to the last episode. And then please do the docuseries about the Rise of the Ottoman empire that depicts the fall of Constantinople and its conquest by Mehmet II. It’s a great historical period granted it was released a little while ago more or less 2020 but Netflix did released it as an documentary and factually correct so it would be incredible to see you reviewing the first season and point the miríade of mistakes , 8:41 that’s only about the conquest of Constantinople what happens who betrays who the politics involved . And then maybe the second season as well that is about his war with vlad dracul most commonly know as Vlad Dracula. Myself and many others i am completely sure would absolutely love to see that. I would bet a lot of money on that. Overall if im not mistaken the first season has 5/6 episodes and the second 4/5 episodes. It’s relatively small. And it would be amazing to see an analysis made by you about it. About Mehmet, Constante XI, all the players involved. And all that
Why would a runner wear a helmet and armour in the first place? It seems very unlikely he would stand a fighting chance if he was intercepted.
I have an idea. Just have the people who actually go out and act out ancient battles for fun do the battle scenes
That’s how they made the Gettysburg movie. A shit ton of reenactors showed up with their own uniforms, muskets, and cannons and said they’d help with the movie.
The WORST Warfare on Television so far.
+10 internets to you for the Kung Pow reference
Let's not forget that Hollywood has a terrible track record of any type of historical accuracy in their movies, TV shows, etc. A prime example, and my personal favorite gaffe, was in the 2000 movie Gladiator with Russell Crowe when the Germanic tribes that were about to throw down with the Roman army were shouting in Bantu, the language of the Zulu tribes, and the same battle chants of the Zulu warriors from the 1964 movie Zulu. Hollywood has only gotten worse since then, and this is another example of them sucking hard.
You know it's bad when Joxar the Mighty has better armor than you do....
i need to watch Colin Farrell's Alexander, Battle of Guagamela to cleanse my palate
I believe the original name of that helmet is "Netflixicus Bullshitticus"
As a persian, I’m disgusted by how bad persian army is depicted. Time to sue Netflix
You should do their new Cold War Documentry, I'm excited to see how bad it is.
As rest from reviewing netflix, could you review Alatriste(2006)?