The Art of Arguing: Using Disagreements to Deepen Your Relationships
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
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Can the biggest conflicts in your relationship actually bring you closer and create deeper intimacy? Happy couples fight. But there is a difference between healthy conflict and unhealthy fighting. One leads to stronger marriages and relationships while the other ends in heartbreak, frustration, and loneliness. But even more importantly, how you fight can predict the future of your relationship.
I’m excited to welcome our guests John and Julie Gottman to the show today. The Gottman’s are world experts on relationships with over fifty years of research and clinical experience. Together, they founded @TheGottmanInstitute and have written multiple books, including their latest, Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection: amzn.to/49O3YDB
Conflict between two people is inevitable. But the first three minutes of that fight can lead to understanding or disaster. Listen in as the Gottman’s share the four horseman behaviors that ruin marriages and show you to use the Bagel Method to compromise and connect for a happier, healthier partnership.
0:00 The Gottman Institute
3:35 How to fight right
9:42 How the brain responds to emotional triggers
16:37 Kwik Success
17:45 The Bagel Method
23:50 The 3 fighting styles
28:44 Fight Right book
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What are your takeaways from this episode?
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Like this video if it was helpful. 👍
The entire video was amazing! I’ve been married for almost 6 years and those early arguments were the worst but, things got a lot better. I never knew there was a way to “fight right” 😂 so that it would be helpful but that’s exactly what I had been wishing arguing could be. One take away I have is getting down to the root of the problem by listening and understanding the other person and not being a fault finder. Also being able to recognize dangerous behaviors that will destroy the relationship. Sometimes things fall apart and the person exhibiting the horseman behaviors can’t recognize what he or she is doing so being able to recognize behaviors is something that is very important to me. Thank you very much!
"Not talking about it will only make things worse" this is an important line I have got.
8:13 💜💜💜
1) I feel…
2) about…
3) this is what I need for you to shine for me
i latterly just tested this with my wife and it went so good thank you 💕💕
i think this can tie in with friendship too
In the library, your book appeared in front of me..
of course, borrowing it after such synchronization..
this couple today will plant beautiful seeds in many souls🌱..
Thank you once again. Great information.
Thank you for this sharing and agree that the first few minutes (3 minutes as indicated) are very crucial towards resolving the conflict; especially when you feel that you are being “attacked”. So will learn to listen more emphatically (not defensive) as understand that the other half is feeling annoyed / irritated and will seek to clarify how she actually feels and specifically what’s needed to be done / avoided (without selling myself short) to shine for the other half ❤🙏👍
Thank you for this interview! I feel that some of this wonderful knowledge is so sensible that we gloss over it, but actually hearing the research and data will make it easier to put in practice (with confidence!) when emotions are high.
Thank You ❤
Dr. Rosenberg’s NVC comes to mind as I listen to this episode.
Listening/watching 😊 now
Hello I'm somali but I study language of english❤