Pregnancy Confessions + 5 Must Haves | Samantha Maria
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- Some pregnancy truths/confessions and also my 5 must have pregnancy items!
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WHAT IM WEARING
Jumper - ASOS
Similar -
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Confessions of a pregnant woman - www.samanthamar...
MUST HAVES
Sleeping Pillow - John lewis bit.ly/2eDxvUa
Belly Bandit - www.bellybandit...
The Bump Class - www.amazon.co....
OVIA & Pregnancy +
Clarins Stretch Mark Control - bit.ly/2fZMsVF
Hot water bottle - John Lewis bit.ly/2fZM3md
Pregnancy isn't easy, the problem is that no one talks about the bad things they go through. So a lot of people assume that if you talk about the not so pleasant moments, your not happy about your pregnancy. I feel like being open helps
Other who may be experiencing the same thing. I went through so many things your talking about and hearing other women's experiences helped me so much! So thanks for shearing, there will be so many people who appreciate this x
Thank you! xx
Dionne Kaliisa I agree with you - I hated my pregnancy from start to finish, the only thing that I liked was feeling my baby girl kicking, but that's it, everything else I hated and every time I told someone this they were like oh my god, how can you say that, pregnancy is a beautiful thing etc etc. My baby was planned so when people assumed that I didn't want the baby and so on, it drove me up the wall because that was far from the case - so I just kept telling everyone how much I loved being pregnant etc just so no one bothered me anymore.
CappuccinoAndBoys Lol, I don't blame you for just telling everyone that you loved it so they would leave you alone
I suspect that's the more common option. Pregnancy for most imo is not a pleasant experience.
Thank you for speaking so honestly. I'm 23 weeks pregnant. There are some things I enjoy about being pregnant & others that I don't. I'm trying to share both aspects with my friends who want to have babies. We shouldn't be afraid to talk about negative parts too.
congrats! I'm 23 weeks today too!
congrats! I'm 23 weeks today too!
Congrats to you! Are you feeling well?
Yes my first trimester was absolutely horrible but that changed in my second trimester. I love being pregnant now but today has been terrible. Vomited four times and I still feel very down and unwell :( what about you ?
Feeling pretty good 2nd trimester. Sleeping is hard. My belly is growing very quickly the past week or 2. It's been an adjustment. But happy to feel baby boy moving more and more :)
Things people don't tell you about after birth...
If you push it gets massively swollen 'down there'
You will continue to have contractions for up to a week after
Breastfeeding is really really hard!!! and hurts!!
It's so scary going off into the world suddenly being responsible for a tiny human who fully depends on you!
It's easy to forget that you are doing an amazing job!
and also - things that people DO say about the birth - 'oh you forget the pain as soon as the baby arrives' NO YOU DON'T :-D I still have that pain seared on my memory and always will have.
Jess K lm terrified of the pain of birth that lm kinda really apscared to have a baby l cannot deal with the heavy periods l get l know if l went through birth l would feel like dying I've asked friends who have kids and they say oh it's not that bad or you forget or don't take pain killers they don't tell me the truth l know it would be painful people are funny with me when l say l would want a c section cause l knew l would never handle the pain!!!!!!
aww don't let it worry you. The honest truth is it can go from not much pain to incredibly painful but it's different for everyone. And midwives are there to help and look after you! I personally would have been less shocked if anyone had said to me that it was possible the pain would be very bad. Everyone saying 'oh it's manageable' just left me shocked as well as trying to deal with the pain. On a positive note I did get an epidural in the end oh and of course the best son in the world :-) xxxxx
midget gem I havent had a child so please forgive me but from research I have done (ttc) the pushing does not hurt as much as the contractions which you still have with a c-section. What im saying dont rule out a natural birth, the recovery is much quicker and less painful in the long run eg as apposed to weeks of recovery from a c-section.
+midget gem Also, a caesarean section is not ideal for the baby.. For example, the microbiota of natural birth babies differ from that of caesarean section babies. The composition of your gut microbiota is linked to a lot, such as risk of developing mental illness, physical illness, immune system etc. Just my two cents. But yeah I'm terrified too haha
I absolutely hated being pregnant. I had the worse pregnancy & was severely depressed. No one understood what I was going through but it was so hard. 😩 I love my daughter but wouldn't do it again.
If you're reading this I hope you have a lovely day 💕🌷
I'm so excited for the baby to be born 😻😭❤️
Back at you :) Good vibes and kindness :)
I feel really bad about saying someones bump was really small now, but I had no idea how that would make her feel, but now I know and I won't comment on them in the future :)
Yes, that was interesting.
Yes, I had a small bump throughout my pregnancy. It did worry and upset me because of peoples reactions! I think when I was 7 months people thought I was 4/5 months! The midwife said because I'm 5ft 8 and size 8/10 with 'strong tummy muscles' I just held a small bump. But I still had growth scans regularly and my son was growing normally.I just had him a week early!
Thank you for your story! I'm happy I know this now :) My friend who had the small bump has a very small frame and is petite so I never thought there was anything wrong with the baby, just that she was small, but I can really see now how that could have made her worry! Glad to hear you son was born healthy and happy :)
+TriTri Yes its just that every women carrys a baby differently. And the same is said for petite women aswell in size and height like Sammi..So when someone said your bump looked 'small' it was like being told your baby is not healthy and not growing! I even had a so called friend tell me 'You look soo small make sure you eat you dont want to loose your baby like my sister' a friend of nearly 15 years said that to me and I never saw or spoke to her again! But atleast you acknowledge why bump size can be worrying for mums to be!
AfroHair Rullaz! That's a terrible thing to say to someone :( I don't blame you for not wanting to speak to them again! There's so much about pregnancy I don't know about, it's nice to see people talk about it openly more! Sammi's videos are so helpful!
Can't stand how society boxes in moms, it's such an unfair thing to be viewed a certain way just because you have kids! Moms are amazing, they aren't a haircut or a minivan driver, they are a full person doing an incredibly difficult and selfless job of raising humans. You aren't alone girl. xo
baby clothes in the background are TOO CUTE! xxxx
haha thank you!
Samantha Maria would love to see a baby haul on the cloths in the background :)
aurélie of
Im not pregnant or plan on becoming pregnant any time soon but watching this video really inspired me to be more conscious of the things I say around women who are pregnant or the way I approach women who are pregnant. I really loved this video ❤️
brittany jenkins
brittany jenkins +
I love that you're being so honest about your experience. I've no doubt this will be extremely helpful to a lot of women.
FUCK YEAH, SAMMI. FUCK YEAH! Never stop being honest and open minded. You are brilliant.
Even though I've never been pregnant I really agree about the identity thing ! Society is weird like once a woman has a baby she becomes a mom and nothing more. She's just a mom and thats it and its so sad...
OHHH also alexandrasgirlytalk has a pregnancy hacks and she suggests some good oils to use on your belly to prevent stretch marks! sorry for the "ad" i just wanna help, love u sam xx
i think it all depends on the person as well, because my mom told me ever since she was 14 all she wanted was to become a mother and have many children but only had two because she divorced quickly. idk some people are born with wanting to be a mother and having a motherly instinct in them.. with me i dont desire to have children at all
My mom takes pride in being labeled as a mother because that's what she always wanted in life but on the side she is a business women and free spirited
This is a great video! Currently 36 weeks with my second....10 years after having my 1st. When I found out I was elated, and then the depression kicked in hard core. I've had to cut back at work due to minor complications. I HATE pregnancy with a passion. The changes, the aches, and the excruciating pain are just too much. Yes the end result is worth it. But the journey is hell and we have the right to honest about it.
It saddens me every time she feels like she has to repeat the whole "This doesn't mean I'm not happy to have a baby" disclaimer, it's so sad that women can't be able to vent and talk about our issues about everything from pregnancy/our bodies to just daily struggles without being "ungrateful" or "less of a woman" and having to apologize for it... You're great Sam, your pregnant struggles will pay off soon xx
oh my god Sammi you always make me feel.like you are inside my head and saying exactly what I feel. You have had such an impact on me throughout my pregnancy and I can never thank you enough for the help you have been to me. I don't think you will ever realize how much you helped me in understanding and making sense of everything I am feeling.
I just sent your video to my husband and told him
"Honestly if you ever wanna know what Im thinking/feeling
Just watch this persons videos.
Its like she is in my head and saying EXACTLY what I want to say
maybe its because we were born on the same day, Aug.10 🦁"
Thank you to the moon and back Sammi.
BTW your just 3 weeks ahead of me, I am 31 weeks!
gosh why can't we talk about uncomfortable stuff that we go through! by talking about it we know we are not alone and we can get through these symptoms! well done !!
BTW iam 35weeks and gained about 45 lbs and I'm so sure my husband thinks im a whale ! 😣😣
TheSimonsaysmeow4 Aw I'm sure he doesn't! When I was pregnant I was very tall and very thin and didn't put any weight on till 36 weeks n then bam I put on 4 bleeding stone! 😱 didn't help i went 15 days overdue but soon as I had him with in a few days a stone had dropped off then after i few weeks another stone, Iv never been pre baby weight again but I'm still slim try not to worry u are carrying n growing a human, I know it's hard not to tho xx
Hayley Davies awwww thanks for that,,, :)
Oh Sammie you're such a beautiful pregnant woman. My pregnancy was so tough but watching people's videos helped me feel like "wow I'm not the only one"
Can't wait to meet the baby!
I get you SO much on the identity issue. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I'm more excited than I can say to be a mum, so blessed, but I am still the same woman, I'm still myself and things I love to do won't change. I loved this video, really helped me and I agreed with everything you said and thank you for talking about the things that no one seems to talk about! You're an inspiration. xxxx
RedRoseWhispers
As someone who is not pregnant, I find it really interesting and important to be informed about pregnancy and parenting. I'm actually listening to some podcasts and reading blogs on the topic. I aim to be more sympathetic and aware of families of all kinds and their challenges.
Really love the podcast The longest shortest time and the "motherhood around the world" blog series on cup of jo
Everything you said about not enjoying the pregnancy is so true and so important. My mum always hated those 'pregnancy is the best thing ever!!' comments because she definitely didn't enjoy hers. She had to be hospitalized almost from day one and all three of her pregnancies almost killed her. It's true that pregnancy can be an absolutely beautiful, wonderful and lovely experience, but it's not always like that. And I think the constant talking about how amazing it is only makes those who don't have a great time feel worse, lonely and misunderstood. Thank you for being so honest Sammi!
honesty. I respect your transparency
I am so happy you talk about these things because they are real for many many women. I suffered from post partum depression and later on psychosis for almost two years and mainly because I wasn´t taken seriously. My 'best friend' said she was sure I did not have post partum depression because a friend of hers had it and it was really something serious. and no, I didnot have that. I nevered told my family,, which wasn´t too difficult because I live in Spain and my closest family live in the Netherlands. so I just faked everything and tried different sorts of alternative therapies etc. until I really went almost crazy and ran to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with a severe form of post partum depression. People said: 'well YOU wanted a child. so what are you complaining about?' or: 'you are lucky to be a stay at home mom (I get a pay from the Netherlands because I am chronically ill) so deal with it.´ etc. etc.
People are really hard and judgemental and that´s maybe why I choose to shut op. People, especially not women, should not do that to each other. These problems are more common than you´d think and by acknowledging them you can tackle the problems sooner.
Anyways good for you Sammy! I wish you a smooth remainder of your pregnancy, and a happy life as a mother!
oh and another thing:get an epidural and don´t feel ashamed about it. ;-) women should not suffer more than necessary that is old fashioned bullshit made up by men!
so glad you're finally being honest!! i honestly thought you seemed down from the beginning and kept thinking to myself i don't think she's doing well and feeling well. even when i showed pics of you to my sister she'd say she looks sad or tired. but all the comments were like aaah pregnancy suits you so well and you are glowing blablah, so i fel t like if i said anything otherwise i'd get a full army of fangirls commenters after me. and a couple video's ago when you said you hated being pregnant i was like YESSS FINALLY, just say it. its okay to say it. pregnancy can be freaking hard, and with the pains youve had in the leggs, and being rushed to the hospital by jason and the fact you have a history of anxiety and body image issues i completly understand you would hate it. and that doesnt mean you're not gonna love the heck out of that baby and be a amazing mother. cause you are.
and now that you have come to the state of mind where you're like it's okay, you are indeed glowing
couldn't of said it any better x
This video is 100% exactly how I have been throughout my pregnancy. I feel like no one sees me as ME anymore, they see me as the woman carrying a baby and that's all that matters. I have been struggling with (I think) a form of pre-natal depression and I am so embarrassed because society says that you're supposed to be happy when you're pregnant and I go through days where I'm not! I love my baby beyond words but sometimes it's hard to function or even talk about the struggles of pregnancy because no one understands!! Thank you for this!!
I'm not even pregnant but I thought this video was just really interesting and informative and yes girl we all have a voice here and I'm glad you decided to talk about these subjects!
and I just love how honest and opinionated you are
Thank you! I am 26 weeks pregnant and had a lot of the same issues. I am so excited to have a baby, but being pregnant isn't the easiest thing I;ve done. The body changes so fast and it does feel out of my control. I super relate to "not only being a mom", I will be a mom, but I am also me. I also hate the body comments or weird obsession with "seeing the bump", no one wanted me to post full body pictures on social media before and I don't plan to start now.
I had the toughest pregnancy as well. It happens. Prenatal depression is SO REAL. I couldn't get motivation to do anything. like putting away folded laundry would take me DAYS. i was so out of breath and bored and felt HUGE and lonely. I took SO MANY baths. I couldn't eat anything. i would have the tiniest little snack here and there but my old favourite meals became SO hard to stomach. smells made me puke. puke comes on so quickly. like breathe in, don't like the smell, suddenly run to the toilet and puke. i still can't eat avocados 13 weeks post natal. So, share your experience because some people think it;s going to be a breeze but you don't know until it happens to you and you can't deal. Some people are lucky but I didn't love pregnancy. Enjoy your bump now though, I definitely miss it. I gave birth a day before the 37 week mark! First baby. I didn't gain a lot of weight during pregnancy (since i had heartburn and always felt like an expanded piece of bread was in my throat) so they say that when that happens the baby tends to come early but in most other cases the first pregnancy goes over the 40 week mark. Good luck. she is going to be so beautiful and loved. Get ready for breastfeeding through the night. Push through when you get overwhelmed and supplement with formula when you need a break. (if you want to) Also, it would really help to get a breast pump so you can also have beverages and help from your fiancé. Take so many photos and videos, especially videos because you will love to look back on them once she starts being able to do more. Don't feel obligated to share your baby with the world through photos but definitely do it for yourself. With a photographer hubby you will definitely get the cutest shots!! Im happy for you and hope you are able to have date nights and help from family and friends because the beginning is overwhelming and you definitely need patience as a new parent.
In terms of identity, Sylvia Plath's poem "Morning Song" is really powerful. She writes about the effacement of a woman's identity as she becomes a mother. So beautiful xx
I completely agree that women shouldn't give up their entire identity when they become mothers. They are sad and feel useless when their kids are raised, and its so important for women to be more than just someone's mum! You're great, Sam!
Ive always thought that pregnancy sounds crap and I'm not looking forward to it- that doesn't mean I won't be happy to have a baby but I am so un-excited to be uncomfortable for 9 months xx
Same. Women who all talk about pregnancy like it's all happiness and sunshine make me cringe, it's NOT always comfortable
I'm 9 weeks pregnant and for 3 weeks or so I was sick and tired everyday. My skin was breaking out. The thought of food made me sick but I was starving. I felt so down and guilty for not enjoying pregnancy. I am finally over the nausea Stage and I have my energy back. My skin has cleared and now I'm glowing! This video was so amazing for me. It's nice to know you're not alone with these feelings.
I've had so many people tell me "Ooh you're so tiny" or "You don't even look pregnant" when I'm due next month as well. I hate it and it makes me feel really bad. I also TOTALLY understand what you mean when you say you don't only want to be seen as a mom. Yes I am a mom, but I am also just me. if I'm looking good, I want to be 'Hot' and not just a 'Hot Mom'. Thank you for being so honest and making so many of us feel like we're not terrible and alone on the way we feel. I'm so excited to meet my son in a few weeks, but it was NOT easy or delightful in any way to make him. I'll be glad to have him in my arms, and have my body back to myself.
As a woman the same age as you Sam , a mother of a 7 year old and a two year old , I tell my partner all the time that my identify was ripped from me 7 years ago , I LOVE being a mom but i defo don't feel any way the same , your whole life , mind and actions revolve around that little person as soon as they enter the world and we are pushed to the back ! I tell myself that it's not forever though and that i have to make the most of the time while they're young! All the best with the birth and so on , you and Jason will be great parents , enjoy every minute xxx
I am not a mom yet, I hope to be one day but I loved this video. Everything you said made me think of my sister in law. She and her husband struggled to conceive, and were elated when they did (my niece is 5 months old now and amazing!), but she went through post-partum depression and struggled with a lot of this, and I feel like just seeing how people responded to her she was so disregarded as HERSELF. Everything was brushed off, "Oh it's just baby blues", "Oh it's all worth it!". And I remember she had posted something to Facebook about how amazing, but challenging being a new mom was, and talked about her feelings and struggles, and someone posted "Oh but it's all worth it, isn't it the most amazing time of your life?" As if they completely skipped where she posted HOW SHE FELT. Videos like this are so important to bring attention to these things! Thank you for making it
If there were a thousands likes to push for this video i would!!!! I am currently 29 weeks pregnant i can relate to EVERYTHING you said!!!! I have my closest family members at me just because i said the baby kicks actually hurt.... i love feeling my baby's movements its been also some of the highlights of my pregnancy, which arent that many and most not as enjoyable ,i completely agree with you i was nauseous and sick throughtout my first four months, i could barely go to work like 1/5 days either because i was physically sick and in so much pain or i was too depressed and down because i was not performing as I would normally. I also had a some what accident as i fainted while in the bathroom while i was alone in my flat and had to have suture above my eye when i was at 9 weeks which made my family and husband very cautious about leaving me alone at any time which made me feel even worse... and it goes on! Just wanted to say you are COURAGEOUS to say this. Lots of love and health💘💋
Samantha thank you for raising awareness on the post natal/ prenatal depression and the identity issue. Its sickening what society reduces us to. Its everywhere, around your friends, your own family and even in the workplace. I had post natal depression for two years. I didnt see a psychiatrist, nobody took me seriously, I just noted it myself and healed by myself, did a lot of research on how to heal. I just discovered that my baby dad went through post natal depression as well, he kept it all together until after the baby was born... it broke my heart. Do check on Jason please, he needs you too. Why aren't these issues addressed though. lots of love you Goddess you!
I love how honest you are about your pregnancy Sam, it's so refreshing and real (love a bit of realness haha)! Also, I started using that Clarins Stretch Mark Control Cream recently and I bloody love it! xx
I had no idea about PRE natal depression!!! I suffer with some depression and anixety so it worries me that when i finally do get pregnant, that i will suffer. Thank you for sharing Samantha honestly. i LOVE the fact you are what you see, you see what you get, and you are honest and truthful and true to yourself and your channel and you subs. xxx
I'm 32 weeks pregnant right now and can relate to SO many of the points you made. It's refreshing to watch a video like this. I'm sick of being told how small I look (it makes me anxious that there's something wrong), I hate sugar coating my pregnancy experience to make others comfortable and I unfortunately dealt with prenatal depression (which should be talked about more because I felt alone when it was happening). These things do not make me any less grateful of my growing baby!
All the best with the rest of your pregnancy!
Oh man I get you on so many levels regarding the just being ''honest'' part. I am a person that just doesn't put on a smile and pretend everything is perfect, when the complete opposite is happening inside me. I love the honesty in people. It is the purest thing people have. What is there left if we can't even tell one or another that yes we feel like shit sometimes? And if people respond to the honesty awkwardly, it only shows the wall they've build up to protect themselves from whatever. But I guess that has always been the beauty of CZcams. The reason why everyone is online these days, because we can find what we seek on here instead out there.
I don't even know if this makes any sense, but Sammie I just wanted to let you know that I get it. Even if I may not be pregnant, but people are used to putting others in a corner. Just to clarify it for themselves. But your not only a mom to be, you're a hard working lady, a soon to be wife, a fashion icon and even more, and I don't think people on this channel will only see you as a ''mother''. But as the person that continues to grow as a person, as you.
XXXX
My little girl is 11 months old and as much as I felt truly blessed to be carrying a child I did not enjoy being pregnant at all. I had pre natal depression due to being sick from all day/night 5 weeks until the day I gave birth, SPD early on and induced 3 weeks early with preeclampsia and kidney/liver beginning to fail. The second I gave birth a huge weight was lifted from me and I had never felt more amazing in my life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like no one tells you about prenatal depression their definitely needs to be more awareness and support for women ❤️
I couldn't agree more with everything you've said! I had a miscarriage in Feb and I'm now 19 weeks pregnant and not loving it at all. I'm so thankful and excited for this baby but my god it's been a pain so far! And I've just started getting that feeling that I'm not myself anymore - the bump and the leaky nipples and the sciatica is just really getting me down! I had to leave my job and I love working. But people are so unacepting when you complain about it. "It will be worth it" or "it will soon pass". Yeah I've had morning sickness from the get go and I'm not on medication for it.
I don't mean to sound annoying but the support out there for mothers who are pregnant is next to nothing!
Thank you for making this video ❤️
I'm 36 weeks and 3 days and I relate to a lot of what you said. The pregnancy pillow saved my life! And also a heating pad helped me out a lot too. I recently invested in a yoga ball to sit on and it really helps support your back and open your pelvic area, to help baby get down there. Haha. My baby girl has dropped so doing house work has been pretty much impossible and it's so frustrating! I think I may need to invest in one of those belly bands! Knowing my baby girl is going to be here next month freaks me out, but I'm also just way too excited to see her! I also joined this group on Facebook called "Babies due in October, November and December" and it's such a fun group with pregnant women from all over the world just sharing their thoughts privately with each other. It's so great. And people are so brutally honest and give such great advice. I really recommend joining something like that. It's helped me a lot! Anyway, Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It makes me feel like I'm not alone! :)
I'm so shocked by how similar your experience has been to mine. I haven't done a 'confessions' video as such, but I've had very similar issues and I've come across a lot of the same reactions from people in regards to depression and body issues. I'm at thirty-seven weeks, a little ahead of you, and you're absolutely not the only one who doesn't want to feel like their identity has squashed.
The identity stuff is sooo true!!!! But you can embrace it, take it as adventage.. So many people think about mothers you know what.. BUT it feels so cool to prove them wrong! After having my kids I slowly started work out more than before, change my style, more feminine, glam way.. Everyone who met me after was like: "wow, but you are mother now, right? wow Eva, you have never looked better!" LOL! It just feels so good to hear that and actually see, that people are surprised by it, especially other women who are scared to have a child just because of that change.. It can change many things, but mostly in positive way I think :) Good luck Sammi, you are going to be an amazing mother :)
Truthfully, I don't see myself ever having children but I still found this video SO informative. I'm glad there's someone like you that's willing to talk about not only the good but the 'bad' side of pregnancy.
I'm not pregnant, but everything you say makes complete sense to me! I think most (or at least a lot) of women's only issues aren't talked about or understood, as most women's issues are 30, 40 or more years behind, thanks the the inequality of the past.
I think it's wonderful that you are talking openly about these things, and I hope you continue to do so, as I'm sure you will!!
Do you not have a pre-natal group to go to? Maybe that is different across the country... All of my friends who have been pregnant, had a group of about 6-8 other mums-to-be who they met up with regularly. It was especially helpful for my friend who had no other friends who were pregnant to relate her difficulties to. The group was a godsend for her, and they continued to meet up after the birth, (especially after the birth) and they were all able to discuss these things together. Maybe you could meet other women who live near you who are at a similar stage in their pregnancy as you. I don't know if your nurse would set that up, but might be worth looking into.
Wishing you all the best for the last bit of pregnancy and the birth! xx
I'm in my second trimester and I find it really hard when people would ask how baby bump is doing and not me lol. It sounds silly but when you greet someone and the first thing they do is rub your tummy without even hugging you first or whatever is really upsetting. "Oh let me see your bump" - I'm not a performing monkey I don't wanna just show my belly off every chance I get. Trust me it's hard.
Hi Samy! I watch your videos for long time and I felt touched with your honesty about the pregnancy feelings. I had a lovely pregnancy but I totally understand how you feel. Every woman is different so is every pregnancy. Another tabu that nobody talks about is the love for your baby when he/her is born. I didn't feel an instant love, for me my handsome little boy was almost like a baby toy, I didn't feel attached to him by any means... it took me some time, few months actually to feel that love that all mothers talk about. It was almost like a relation ship, I got to know him a little day by day and then one day "pow" he became the most important thing to me and I felt that LOVE. I am writing it because if this happens to you, do not panic, do not feel sad or a bad mother, it is totally fine and it happens to a lot of woman but nobody has the guts to say it out loud. I wish you all the best, for you Jason and your little girl. In portuguese we say to a pregnant woman: "uma hora pequenina" that means a little time, a short and happy labor. All my love Mari
Years on from watching your videos and I still just love you! 😂 You're so real about everything and don't sugar coat things, because pregnancy especially isn't all perfect and beautiful for everybody! So glad you've brought this to light. Keep doing your thing Sam ❤️
in regards to the identity thing I understand about just being labeled mom. However I think the job of being a mom is undermined a lot. It's not just about feeding the baby, changing diapers, and providing them with stuff. Being a mom is trying to raise a really decent kind , caring, compassionate human being and that is the toughest job of all especially in the crazy world we live in today. So you're a mom yes but there is so much that goes into being the absolute best mom you can possibly be. I think being a mom is the most important job a woman can have.
You are not alone in not enjoying pregnancy. I felt the EXACT way you are now while pregnant with my daughter. However you feel is okay, whether loving or not so much loving your pregnancy.
Its interesting to hear how you've experienced pregnancy. but everyone does experience it differently. Even though my partner left me at 29 weeks, I really have embraced being pregnant. I used to be a very negative person before pregnancy, but i've found it to be very empowering. i'm now 39 weeks and with 'one week to go' and I can't wait to meet my daughter. I wish you the best of luck, and just know at the end of all these struggles you'll have the best thing you've ever done.
Oh lord the Identity one! Losing my identity and just being known as a mom is something I've worried about since I was a teenager. I don't have kids yet, but I said this on some anonymous app (can't remember the name) and I was shamed so HARD. They told me I didn't deserve to be a mom because I said that I don't want "mom" to be the only thing about me that matters. I've done things, and will do things in my life and I want them to matter even after I give birth. That shouldn't be a controversial thing to say. I honestly thought I was alone in thinking that for so long, so thanks for this video!
Love this. We as women need to let the world know that we don't just have to be machines that make babies and should therefore accept our lot, be grateful and not complain.
Personally all I've ever wanted in life was to raise a child. My son will be 2 next week and I truly feel that I couldn't ask for anything else in life. I don't mind being know as a mum. What bothers me is that mums and the general public feel ok to slate you if you're a working mum or a stay at home mum. Nothing is right. We all judge everyone.
Everyday I get comments like....so you don't work at all then....what do you do all day. There are some parents that sit on the sofa all day and do nothing. I have a schedule everyday of activities etc with my little man. My job is giving him the best start, since when is that not enough. Equally my best friend works full time and her husband is a stay at home dad. She gets constant stick about role reversal and she'll regret it as she's neglecting her child. It's so sad in this day and age that we can't just appreciate that parenting is difficult but great...whatever way you do it.
I had a horrendous pregnancy...still have nightmares 😂 I was still sick 2-3 times a day until about 3 months after my son was born. Being pregnant was a total shock to me...I used to run and do yoga daily....was so ill through pregnancy I couldn't do anything.
I worked in retail through pregnancy so had bump comments all day long from strangers....so much fun!
Loved this video and thanks for allowing me to rant 😂
Good luck!
You've basically put in to words exactly how I feel!! My partner is lovely and is always telling me it'll be fine, but it's so hard to adjust to how unequivocally expecting a child changes your life and it can take some serious time to get your head around that! Thanks Sammi for letting me know I'm not an absolute lunatic and the only one that feels that way.
Thank you ! Someone finally said it. I had a prenatal depression for the first 4 months of my pregnancy, it was my first pregnancy and I was totally unprepared for this. I was crying all the time, it was something a just couldn't help, couldn't eat or sleep and when I finally did I had terrible nightmares and instead of support from people, all I got was criticism, that I'm selfish and hurting my child and it will probably be born with some illness because of that. The thought that I am a bad mother for my unborn child was making everything even harder. The sad part is that most of these people were women who already had children so they know how hard it can be during pregnancy. Happily now I have a beautiful and healthy baby girl.
I'm glad that You shared it. I hope it will help someone.
You're the first pregnant person I know that's so open about talking about the negative and more real sides of pregnancy so I really appreciate that. You're awesome and thanks for sharing!
Honestly I am so grateful that your are so open about your pregnancy. I am now 10 weeks and 4 days and it has been rough! I never thought pregnancy would be this "ugly"! The nausea, vomiting, hot flashes, sleepless nights, etc is nothing fun! I have been around pregnant women and I have never heard or seen them with the complications I have been having. No one really talks about the ugly or bad and they all just tell you it's beautiful, it's a blessing, or you are lucky! Yes I know I am lucky but the struggles and dealing with them everyday is not fun at all. When I heard you talking about your pregnancy I thought "oh my gosh that is how I feel" and I thank you for being so open!!! Love you Sammi!
thank you for this. I'm pregnant with my first at the moment and it's so refreshing to hear someone being so honest about it for once. I'm about to hit the second trimester and am currently suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum. thank you so much xx
Hey Sammi, I'm a student midwife and have to say this video is just fantastic! You identify so many of the unspoken things about pregnancy that SHOULD be talked about and addressed. So many people go through the same feelings you're having and it's so nice that you're encouraging people to talk openly about these. You're fab
Wow, I think you are really brave to talk about you're prenatal depression.. I didn't have a depression, but i wasn't as ecstatic as the world thinks you should be when u are pregnant. I just didn't feel great. There were a lot of little things, back pain, fatigue, rls etc. The only thing i really loved was feeling my daughter move. That was something magical. When you tell people that you didnt like your pregnancy, they look at you if you are crazy. So thank you for talking about it, hopefully other women don't think they are crazy when they don't feel fantastic al the time! xoxo from the Netherlands.
I love this! I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I've been miserable during my pregnancy... I've been so ill during and had issues with my body changes so I completely sympathise with all the points you made! Being pregnant isn't as wonderful and magical as advertised!
I'm so glad you have talked about pre-natal depression as it's something that I am really struggling with. I struggled with it in my last pregnancy and now I'm going through it again. I was going to cover this on my own channel but wasn't sure if I would come across as being '' moany'', but after watching you open up, it makes me feel less awkward to talk about it. I'm a fellow brit too and have been following you for ages now. I love it when you keep things real :) Not long now to your due now! I'm 23 weeks pregnant, so a bit behind you. Good luck with everything x
You are the voice of hundreds of women who are too afraid to talk openly about difficult issues such as not enjoying pregnancy. You have always been & most likely always will be the most inspiring CZcamsr I watch in terms of positive thinking, lifestyle and fashion. Very grateful for you taking us on your journey with us. Keep up the positivity, you're almost there !! (And we're just as excited to see your beautiful baby as you are!!) love always, Lauren B x
Im going to be honest, i don't usually comment on CZcams but this video has spoke to me on every level. Im 30 weeks pregnant and it was like you were speaking about me. I have been diagnosed with pretty bad SPD and have been by given pretty high pain relief (which i hate and wont take unless it unbearable), im feeling really low but like you said it feels like its a tabo subject to say you aren't really enjoying your pregnancy. Other than feeling her grow and move inside of me which is the only thing that makes me smile every day. Its such a comfort to hear someone else speak so honestly and openly. Thank you and good luck for the rest of your pregnancy and for the future ☺️
I've taken an entire class based around identity and human development, and figuring out your identity and how being a mom fits into your own personal sense of self and how others perceive you is a huge part of developing and a huge struggle!!! I just want you to know that it's something that's a large part of pregnancy and motherhood and that it's a real thing and you're not alone!!
I'm also pregnant and I can definitely relate to what you've been through. Especially losing your self identity. Of course you're a mom, but you're also so much more than that! Life doesn't stop at "mom".
I think you delivered your messages in this video perfectly - defiant enough to get your point across and show people that you're standing your ground but not in a rude or arrogant way that would 'offend' people (despite it being none of their business) and make them think you were in any way ungrateful for what you have x
Sam honestly looks so beautiful! she be glowiiiiing! loving the lipstick and your top! oh and your hair!!! ok, i think im really liking everything. also, Sam is so bold for using her platform and sharing these things that other women im sure are thinking. Girl, preach for the women out there!
Thank you!
I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have decided that pregnancy sucks!
I've been sick all the way through, I have really struggled with depression especially in the first 3-4 months, like you, I already have struggles with my body image, and now it's hard, always thinking I look "fat not pregnant" and adjusting to everything being different is tough!
The identity thing; I had a good cry about this to my husband a couple of weeks ago! I literally would love someone to talk to me about anything else right now! I want my friends back too...
Just like you, it doesn't mean that I regret being pregnant, or wish I wasn't or anything.. I genuinely can't wait to meet our baby, but it really does suck a big one! xx
I'm not pregnant, but I totally can understand this thing with your identity. This is the thing that scares me the most. I want a child but I want to be me with my child and not just the mother of. Can't explain it, but I can feel you.
Wish you an your little family all the best and thanks for your honesty
Lots of love
One of my biggest pet peeve was that people felt free to touch my tummy. Oh, and one thing that actually scared me is that I felt I suddenly went stupid. Honestly, my mind was SO slow and because I never heard anyone talking about it I thought I will be like that forever. Luckily, it was just the brain taking it easier (nature is amazing) and all went back to normal after having the baby.
Such a real video! Love hearing you speak about identity as a mom. Society DOES have a messed up view of exactly what they think moms should be like. You're not alone in thinking that! I'll always think of you as the creative, awesome and independent woman that you are. 💘
Hi Samantha, I'm glad you've said what people are afraid to say. I have 2 children myself and pregnancy was not easy for me too each time. Second pregnancy was a bit easier, but again I don't think the whole process is enjoyable. I have been trying to be honest when people were asking how I was feeling, but I usually got a weird look. The only time I felt like I was understood was if I spoke to another pregnant girl. I was sick for 5 months and I was throwing up twice a day every day. I was tired all the time, but I continued to work and until last month of my pregnancy, partly because on my days off I was on the sofa feeling miserable anyways. I agree to every bit you've said and I feel like more and more girls nowadays have guts to admit that pregnancy is not a miracle time in your life. I love my children to bits and I was sooo happy to have that connection with them during pregnancy, but it doesn't mean that we have to pretend that it's so easy to be pregnant when it's not. I hope you have an easy labour and all the best for you and your family. xx
I love your honesty! Why shouldn't women be more honest during pregnancy?! Like you said, it doesn't make you any less of a mother xxx
I'm only 20, 3rd year varsity and have no interest in babies at all but this video is possibly one of my most favourite chat type videos from you. So empowering for women to express how they reall feel about everything and stop editing themselves to fit society's expectations. I'm sending you hugs and well wishes for the delivery.
This is such an important video. The "cult of motherhood" is cruel to women, before, during and after. Women are expected to experience discomfort and pain with a smile on their face because we're "supposed" to fulfil this role. All our sexual health and reproductive systems, we're told we exaggerate, from PMS and cramps to labour. We're just supposed to suck it up.
I love how honest you are, I'm 32 and coming up 3 months and I have been so depressed about the changes to my body, I was finally comfortable with my figure after years of having an eating disorder and now I look in the mirror and feel sad. I'm happy to be having a baby but just so uncomfortable in my own skin and I've still got ages to go!
I love your honesty..Even though I don't have any children yet, I really like to hear about your experiences.
I hear what you're saying, but I have to say, that when I was raising my children, I enjoyed being "just a mom". That was my identity at the time and that was okay. When I was "just a mom"it was not cool to other women around me, to be just that. It is funny how things have changed. Now my kids are all grown up and I have my own business and do other things. I know a lot of people don't agree, but I will always believe that no matter what I do in the future, being a "good" mom will always be the thing I am most proud of. My sense of self seems stronger to me because I had that privilege and I was able to stay home and raise my babies. I know this isn't the case for everybody, but ultimately you have to do you. Oh and you should come to America. Women love to talk about their pregnancy nightmares. It is a constant overshare here, at least the women I have been around.
I appreciate this because I have never in life seen pregnancy as a fun thing. I'm not a mom but am into science and nothing I've learned about it seems fun at all. I see it as you go through torture in order to bring a baby into the world, and the baby is your gift for your pain. Good video, looking forward to seeing your baby!
Ohhh Sam how I love how you talked about sense of self!! I'm a stay at home mom and I swear nobody see's me as anything else
Hey! I had my first baby's last year and it's the best felling ever. The beginning was challenging at times but having my boyfriend and my mom helped so much! Make sure you take any help you can get especially if you have any baby blues symptoms. It's hard work but so worth it! Also I overpacked my hospital bag. You really don't need much for the baby besides a blanket and take home outfit. They provide diapers, wipes, and everything. At least here in the states. So happy for you guys! And your almost done being pregnant! Your in the home stretch! I was so relived when my baby came out and the doc said your not pregnant anymore! I was like thank God! Lol
I totally understand the identity crisis when I started youtube and blogging it was my way of getting MYSELF back
In Korean culture, they call mothers (esp moms with young kids) by their kid's name + umma ("mom"). For example, "hello, Minwoo umma" or "How are you, Sally umma?" It's like the woman's identity and name cease to exist after she gives birth. it's so sad. I told my husband never to call me that when we have kids. And I'm gonna tell everyone else to call me by MY name, not always so-and-so's mommy.
So refreshing to hear your honest thoughts on pregnancy! It's a different journey for everyone, my husband and I are planning to "start trying' next year and it's great to hear both the good and the bad bits. X
Sam, my children are now 30 & 32, but I can still remember feeling a lot of the things you describe. I felt like I had stopped being me, and had suddenly become an incubator. Much like some men will talk to your cleavage, people stopped looking at me, and started talking to, and about, my bump. They even stopped using my name & started asking "How's Momma doing?" I was sick, in pain or uncomfortable for the majority of my first pregnancy, consequently I felt quite depressed and worried when I got pregnant again. Thank God the second pregnancy was a breeze in comparison, even with a toddler to care for.
I get stressed out trying to grow a plant let alone trying to grow a baby inside of me AND having to carry it everywhere I go!
I love that you're talking about the good and the bad because it'd be silly to think it is all roses besides, I can't think of a single person who could go 9 months being completely happy even without a baby to get ready for! Also, the only people who should comment on someone's pregnancy are the health care professionals getting them through it! xxx
I had prenatal depression and the baby blues after my daughter was born. It's a terrible feeling and didn't help my high blood pressure. You don't have long to go and then you'll be able to enjoy your little one! If the depression or feeling down continues after delivery speak up about it and don't be scared to ask for support from your nearest and dearest and try to get some time for yourself from time to time!
I completely agree with everything that you say in the video. I´m 38 weeks now and yes, is so good to have your growing baby in you but it´s like you can´t feel bad or have fears (I don´t know how to explain it, because I don´t speal English well). It´s like the society make us feel like we have to be superwoman, be so happy about being mother and being able to have a job, take care of our children and have an smile for everyone hahaha. You see a lot of mother to be in videos or instagram and they are like "everything is perfect, the baby gives me so much energy and good vibes" and I am like mmm I just wanna kill bad drivers etc and rest on the couch all day...
I had the same feeling with the body changes...but at this point I say, ok, now the biggest part of you is your belly and not your arms or your bust, everything is going to be back in some months, just eat healthy and take care of you. But to be honest, I felt bad during the first trimester because I was gaining so much weight and I looked so big.
So thank you for being honest and...you are not alone with those feelings!
For me a must have has been a pilates ball to strech my back, it was so good to deal with back ache.
Hope you and your baby are well when she decides to come :)
The honesty is amazing and refreshing. Been watching you since 2000 subs xx
I am so happy to see that you made this video. I am 7.5 months into my second pregnancy and I am one of those people that just doesn't love being pregnant. Basically, everything you touched on is exactly how I feel. So, good on you for putting yourself out there for other first time mom's or even mom's that have been through it multiple times. I love the outcome of being pregnant and am incredibly grateful that I have been able to have healthy and fairly uneventful pregnancies, but it's definitely not been my favorite life experience. You are not alone. And thanks again for being someone with a louder voice that's saying you don't have to love it.
Sammi, about loosing your sense of self, Amy Poehler touches on this in her book "Yes Please"! You are not alone in that, and as a young woman, it's inspiring to watch someone who is so strong in their opinions, yet so positive and classy. I've been watching you since I was in high school, and now I'm a Sophomore at NYU. I've grown up with you and am so happy to have a part of you in my life. You are such a wonderful role model! Thank you for sharing yourself with us
This is spot on. Loads of us feel like you. I don't understand people who pretend it's all rainbows. It's disingenuous. Thank you for this video x
Omg thank you. This has been so helpful - I’m holding on to every word you are saying. I’ve definitely having depression and feel lost during pregnancy, not meaning that I’m unhappy to be pregnant, and you’ve said it all so clearly. Thank you for your purity and honesty which is so refreshing! You are so real and cherished more than you know. Thank you.
aw look at all those cute baby clothes omg
You totally haven't lost your identity - I still look at all your fashion photos and if I see the bump just think, aw cute! You slay even when preggo! Loved this video, may need to refer back to it in ten years when I decide to have kids 😂 xxx
I know so many women that have not enjoyed being pregnant and they are amazing women and amazing mothers. It's not for everyone and I'm so happy to see someone speaking about it.
love your honesty!! it's so refreshing. I'm currently 23 weeks and can relate to everything you talked about! it's amazing how many people shoot down your feelings with "it'll all be worth it in the end"...we KNOW that and we love our babies more than anything, it's just really hard making an entire person from scratch, and not everyone enjoys the process!