5 Self-Care tips that ACTUALLY work.
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- A little bit of self-care for all my loves. 💕"Get up to 15% off plus a free rechargeable frother and cup when you shop my link.
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💕 Caroline
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𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒
carolinewinkler@thesociablesociety.com
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00:00 - Intro
1:19 - The thing that is harming you.
4:53 - Thanks to Pique
8:00 - When your mind is a prison.
11:35 - I know you need to hear this.
16:14 - Hack your way to self-care
19:45 - Ways to change your life
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All opinions are my own. Some links listed are affiliate links which means I earn a small commission if anyone decides to purchase through them. Thank you so much for your support!
Please note that I am not a professional, in fact I am the literal opposite. I am just a plebeian out here loose on the streets. Things that I am NOT: a builder, trainer, craftsman, therapist, nutritionist, physical therapist, medical professional or anything else. All projects seen on my channel must be completed at your own risk and responsibility. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
#selfcare #selflovepractices #washingtondc #PiqueLife #PiquePartner
Came on this channel for the home decor advice, stayed for the wholesome, humorous, witty girl that shared a little bit of everything. I really resonate with your personality and you are my favorite youtuber. The things you share and the way that you share them feel like what a friend who truly cares about you would say. I long for such a friend in my life and hope that in another life we meet and become friends. There, I said it.
Ditto ❤
She's the best..
hard to say how meaningful this is. with videos like these i really am coming from the place i was in years and years ago when i didnt necessarily have a friend to say these things to me. if i can be a friend or sister in a moment when you really need it, then i'm very happy
omigod, now I'm gonna cry ❤
I have one, but it took me 55 years...still hope for you.
I lost my husband in August. Cried through 90% of this video - Setting up an appointment to get help. Thank you
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you must feel 😞Hugs to you❤
Sorry for your loss ❤
i'm very proud of you. i hope it'll give you peace
Hugs from another internet stranger. I'm so sorry for your life-upending loss.
Lost a loved one earlier this year as well, you make peace with it, and the cliche of "they live on in your heart" is VERY true when you carry them everywhere, when they show up in your speech and your memories and when you remember them when you see a silly jumper. It's comforted me more than anything else to know they left a part so huge in me that they won't fully die until I do too. Head up, you've got this, we're rooting for you.
I once heard that you can't be anxious and thankful at the same time. I tried thinking listing all the things I'm thankful for in my head whilst having my panic attacks in the past and surprisingly it worked for me so thought I'd share in hope of this working for somebody else :)
You do you. Don't let anyone else tell you what's right and what's not. If being thankful helped while you were having panic attacks, then so be it.
I applaud you for being strong enough not to let the negative anxiety thoughts control you. Bravo 👏👏👏
I used to be a self-compassion researcher. Caroline you nailed it. And so very relatable. Your vulnerability is such a huge gift to us all. And I deeply appreciate the care you put into deciding what to share, and what not to share, and how to be as authentic as possible. I hope everyone watches this.
Caroline is so delightful just wish the background music was much much looooower and not as continuous
I’m glad self-compassion researchers exist ❤
About the all or nothing mentality. I once read the statement, "everything that's worth being done perfectly is worth being done non perfectly" or my favorite "DONE is better than perfect". I say this to myself all the time. As you say, a 15 minute walk is better than nothing. Cleaning a part of the kitchen is better than not cleaning at all. Finishing ONE chore is better than not doing anything. And going to bed one hour after I should is still better than staying up until 3 in the morning. It's so helpful, honestly. ❤
Would like to give you several likes
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good
The biggest self-care advice I've given to myself is to take a step back and zero in on what it means to be true to yourself. We spend so years tap dancing for family, friends, employers, etc. that we haven't realized we have become what THEY want us to be. It's such a relief to come to the realization that we can bargain, we can choose, and we can walk away if needed. "Life is not a dress rehearsal" is not a cliche, it's the truth. There are no do-overs - so who's life do you want to live?
I totally agree with you!
Wow! This is powerful. Thank you 🙏
Pregnant with my second baby and struggling with fatigue and my emotional toddler. Feeling all the guilty feelings. I needed this ❤
Take care of yourself, Mama Hen. Sending you compassion, too. ❤
Be kind to yourself. Your are in a really tough season of life. Now is not the time to be 'productive' and make huge goals happen. Now is the time to be kind to your body and self and let go of high expectations. The lazy genius podcast is amazing too xx
Sending you a hug. ❤ Growing a human is hard especially with a toddler in tow. I felt quite alone and there must be something wrong with me as every other pregnant woman around me was glowing and not sick or tired. My boss even said that he didn’t believe I was sick because his wife never had a minute of morning sickness. You can only do your best. Take care of you. Mama hen, love your handle!
i hear about so much mom guilt and self-deprivation. i hope you or your people can find ways to let you feel cared for. you're doing a lot. big hug
yes I'm in the same situation. I just had my second a month ago and it's been sooo hard. the baby is amazing but my toddler screams and cries 24/7 🫠🙃 I have no time for myself to even shower much less self care and have over 40 lbs to lose. I just tell myself it won't last forever lol
Can I just say, you are the friend I wish I had and I think the type of friend everyone needs.
im certainly not a flawless friend IRL, but this is a special place where i get the gift of editing me to be the kind of friend i wish i were more consistently. it's a gift to me as much as it is to you guys. big hug
I used to think that self compassion was going to take away my 'superpower' of my anxiety - that my anxiety was the reason I had succeeded at anything.
It took me quite a bit of work to understand that I had achieved positive things DESPITE my anxiety, and practicing self compassion helped me so much more than being cruel to myself.
I feel this a lot. Feels like my anxiety is what allows me to get things done.
This is a big one for me too, it's a perspective shift that's hard to do. I've met myself in the middle by feeling 5/10 about my unperfect efforts and 5/10 about the results, versus mad about both the 0/10 effort and results. A 5/10 is embarrassing, but at least it gives you a base to improve on - so I shoot for a 6/10 next time, then a 7, etc. and I can usually come back from a slump that way. As long as it's not always a slump, you can funnel the anxiety to improving from your new 'floor'
What an incredible perspective shift. Thank you for sharing! I love this progress for you :)
So well saod
I am currently at the lowest point of my life and some days cannot even get out of my bed. I accidentally came to one of your videos and each day I feel you are pulling me up from drowning. I really look forward to doing better now. Thank you dear Caroline from the bottom of my heart ❤️ I hope you know that you are a Guardian angel for the lost souls like me ❤️
Stay strong ❤ the lows will eventually even out and you’ll get some highs showing their faces. The lows may never fully leave but you learn how to live with them. I’m hoping so hard that you’ll feel better soon. I’ve been there and I know how miserable it can be. Much love to you.
@@Dancinglemon what a lovely and kind person you are ❤️ You are right, I have started feeling a lot better than past few months. Sending my best wishes and love to you.
I and so many others here can relate. I thought I was over it after the worst break-down in my life a few years ago, but then it hit me again. Having to force yourself to get up, not being able to get or prepare food...it felt like such a set back after all I had achieved, but I guess it can happen. You also will be okay! We're doing our best being good to us and others, stay sane and okay and some days even good and happy. Sometimes noone sees the struggle, but that should leave us even more feeling how strong we are. We are fighters (by choice or not).
I hope by the time I write this you're thinking "yeah, that was when I felt so down. I remember." :*
Unrelated to the video but a gardener here 👋☺️ I noticed you used scissors to cut the stems of your flowers. If you wish to keep your flowers alive a bit longer and in a better condition, I highly suggest you use a sharp knife instead. When you cut with scissors, you're really just squishing all the structural water lines and "pipes" in the stem that provide water flow in the plant. Damaging the structure also disrupts the capillare phenomenon in the stem's "pipes" and less water gets through.
Instead, slice the end in a diagonal with a sharp knife to a slanted point. The more "inside" of the steam you see, the better water flow the plant has.
And lastly, not all flowers need equal amounts of water. Those with squishy less structural stems like tulips need just a little bit of water or they start to get mushy (and they are also cut horizontally flat, not diagonally like the sharp end of a medical needle) whereas other harder stemmed flowers need usually more water. And those with wooden stems like roses like hot water cause it goes through the water lines easier making the wooden stem less hard.
I know you may not care about these things but thought I'd comment just in case 😂😂 (and also cause my soul died a little with the scissors 🤣)
Such a useful and informative comment! Thank you for taking the time to explain!
Self care for me yesterday was letting myself cry all day long after months of "fake until you make it" mentality, making gratitude lists and actively looking for the positive in all the things that are going wrong. I still did my bed, cleaned, watered my plant. I did it all crying, though. I needed to restore the balance. Now I feel like I can go back to be grateful because I let myself purge.
I've had those days! Sometimes, you just need to CRY! It's ok, it doesn't mean I will cry every day for the rest of my life (though it might feel like it). I don't have to "look for the positive in everything" all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and it's ok to not be ok with it!
For me there are days I don't want to wake up ...just to be in my bed..thinking..crying
I’m convinced that Carolyn is actually an undercover therapist.
Dear Caroline,
I'm sending you lots of love and all of my compassion. I can sense that you're really there for yourself and it's beautiful to witness.You've been such an uplifting influence in my life, I could not thank you enough.
This might be my favorite video of yours. I was touched by your vulnerability, your honesty, your compassionate pieces of advice mixed with small and concrete alterations/betterments of your space. It was a brilliant video essay.
One of my favorite self-care tips is to do something for my future self. Recently I finished sewing a dress for next Summer. I will forget about it until I find it in my closet next May and I already know I will be very happy about it. I'm planting seeds and it benefits me at least twice; in the present moment and in a couple of months, and probably every time I will wear this beautiful piece.
💟
Love hearing how others take care of themselves ❤ That’s awesome, I’m imagining your strutting your stuff in the new dress!!! 😊
really lovely comment. i love this bit about the future self - sometimes it's easier for me to have compassion for my past self, like a younger sister, than my current self. im gonna try this future self version now too. thank you for the tip
@@Caroline_WinklerThere is a great loving-kindness / self compassion meditation I listen to, that starts with you trying to cultivate self-compassion for yourself as a baby, then as child, then as a teen, and then finally your present self. I've struggled to go easy on myself for a good 30 years - but this meditation gradually warms me up to it.
@@craven5328where do you listen to this meditation?:)
I am an angry cleaner and this makes so much sense. When I'm spiraling because I'm upset, I immediately start cleaning and it calms me down. Now I see why! Thank you Caroline!
If I could tell anything to my younger self, I would say " Eat lots of antioxidants" Fighting cancer is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I hope I can reach people that can prevent this from happening to them. that is the best advice I can give anyone. great dresser find.
And stop with the poisonous room air chemical fragrance, plug ins, nail polish** , grocery store house cleaners & laundry detergents . . instead seek water based nail polish, plant based detergent/house cleaners . BTW cats livers lack enzyme to process these chemical fragrance nor aromatgerapyi
Thanks for this Caroline, you're an amazing person. My 7 year old thinks we're friends with you because I mention you a lot and he and I talk about kindness and artfulness, and naturally something you've said works into those convos. You're touching a lot of lives, and our little family appreciates you so much.
wow i could cry for how sweet this is. i first of all adore that you and he get into those deep talks
I feel you. Whenever I talk about Caroline to my husband I say "my friend Caroline said this and that"!
I watch these vids with my 9 year old daughter. She’s sensitive, anxious, hugely empathetic and considers herself to be awkward. It’s a big hard scary world out there when your feelings are so close to the surface. These videos give her a lot of tools to deal with life.
Sometimes the best way to help yourself is by helping others. Caroline, I hope you know how timely & helpful your video was to me and undoubtedly to many others who view it. Thank you!
melts my heart a little bit. thank you
Absolutely. Love how Caroline expresses herself and just looks down the camera like she’s talking directly to me. ❤ Take care of your heart.
One of the best “self care” decisions I made and helped me was to get a dog. I thought of it for FIVE years when finally a friend of mine told to either get it or shut up about it.
I live in Canada, winter in this country can be long and dark, but I KNOW that going outside is proved to be beneficial for mental health. I know that I am not doing it when it’s -30 and dark, so I put myself in a position where I have to do it.
Finally I got a very neurotic dog from the local shelter but boy was that I good decision. He got me through lonely nights, he got me through the pandemic. No mater rain or shine I have to go out with him and even if it doesn’t feel good in the moment right before leaving the house, it feels so great when I am back home after the walk.
If anyone here is in the position to care for an animal and wants to, do it, especially if it’s a dog that must go outside everyday.
I’m a psychotherapist. And you made me cry. I’m also recovering from PTSD and your words on persistence are so true. I’m only as well as I am now because of me dedicating a lot of time and energy to doing healing work and refusing to stop asking for what I need. Thank you SO MUCH for saying this to people. ❤
I'm old and was depressed before it was acknowledged. I remember when I was 7 or 8 telling my mom I felt bad inside and getting baby aspirin and ginger ale.
I can relate. I hope you’ve been able to sort that out now. 🤗
I relate so much to the whole "I havent cried in three months" but when I do I absolutely cannot stop crying for a whole day 😭 thank you for this video 💗 organizing definitely helps omg
it's like we've jinxed it haha.
Same!! And in the moment I will be like, “why can’t I stop crying?” I haven’t wept at the gym yet but I am glad to know I am not the only one crying in public!
I had a tear running down my face when she mentioned it. I’ve been suppressing my emotions to cope when I was in my marriage and now I see tears as a sign I’m starting to let my feelings out again and it’s a good thing. ❤ Love organising and decluttering.
I haven't cried since 2019. Literally can't, I get the catch in my throat, I can still produce tears, but no tears have fallen since 2019.
THANL YOU Caroline for being this vulnerable with us
❤
I have tried to find a therapist for years. They are all booked. If you have a therapist and can share. Please be kind and try an outpatient situation so that others can get help. Lol. I know that sounds selfish, but girl, I need some help
@@user-quackers
hey, I know you were looking for some help from the brilliant ms winkler, but i thought i’d just reply and suggest ‘better help’ (online professional therapy) if you haven’t already checked them out!!
also, i understand that finding a therapist can be hard, but in the mean time, maybe you cld search for some therapeutic activities.
join a pottery club, go to the park every day, read for 5-10 mins a day, try journalling or even painting / sketching!!
because, at the end of the day, when you find a therapist, it is unlikely that you will be seeing them for the rest of your life. but what IS DEFINITELY the case, is that you need to find therapeutic activities that will sustain and fulfil you after you leave your therapist!!
i hope what i wrote wasn’t too messy/unintlligable, and i really hope that helps!!
best of luck with everything - you’ve got it, truly 💪💪🥰
I feel so called out on the the "all or nothing mentality." It's actually something I pride myself in. But I can't tell you how many times it sucks all the joy out of what I am trying to do. I am trying to shift my perspective about a lot of things right now, thanks for putting this feeling into words and making it okay to not be perfect.
Saaaame! ♥️
Caroline, ever since your last video I became concerned about your sleep situation. Do you nap? That's my #1 form of self care at my age (I'm 70 and am obsessed with your channel.) That and baths...(I can still get in and out pretty well so I'll take them until I can't anymore.)
“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping” -Jordan Peterson
There was a study done about taking medication that showed if people had to give their dog medication they ALWAYS did and never forgot, but when they had to give THEMSELVES medication they were often too lazy/forgetful/negligent. We will treat our pets as deserving of love and care but not ourselves. This video was a great reminder to not do that.
i love this so much!!! i feel like the discussion of self-care is either super toxic habits framed as "productivity" or super consumerist activities where we feel like skincare isn't self-care unless you have the top 10 trendy k-beauty products, an ice roller, a jade gua sha, and a silk robe lmao. i love your approach of celebrating baby steps as well as the big leaps, thank you caroline!!
First time I see a selfcare video who doesn’t make me feel worse.
Suggestion with love: Check your hormones, check your thyroid. Magnesium, B6, etc.
I've had the realisation that I deserve compassion and happiness during a 10 day silent meditation retreat. Broke down crying, and I mean broke down. I have accepted that intellectually for years, but it has taken me over 30 years to GET IT. Thank you for spreading the word. The earlier this sinks in for more people, the better the world becomes.
Caroline this was so good. I've found many self-care videos suggest stuff like eating right, getting enough sleep and lighting a candle or something. And yes, while those strategies are fine, they overlook so many other things. You got into those other things and did so with compassion and absolutely no bullshitting. The humour you bring to the discussion is also the icing on the cake. Thank you.
Such a wise lady for someone so much younger than I. Organize a messy area is a great idea. Makes the overwhelming feeling of stuckness feel a little less around the edges.
the key to having lessons to share is....effing up lots, and lots....and lots ;) still so much i need to work on, but these are the things that have helped so far
'Recently, don't want to brag, but I've been having a lot of panic attacks.'😂 #2 Tip: 'Do something physical to give yourself 5 or 10% relief from the spinning in your head'- this is SUCH a great way to put it- nail on head (as usual)! Caroline, if you write a book🤞, please make this a highlight. RE: Organizing: 'Your mind wants to attach to something; let it attach to something neutral'. Loosely paraphrased: 'The key to this tip is connection. One of the best actions you can take for self care is making sure you get points of connection to the world, ideally to people. When you're going through a hard time, connection points are what make that hard time survivable. Sometimes, connection to people isn't available. In those times, the backup is the physical world', organizing the physical world is a hugely effective coping skill that can get you through. Organizing can be a therapeutic task that helps calm my mind while I'm doing something productive rather than spinning my wheels on endless rumination. 99% of my comment is just transcribing what's in your video😂. People are like, durrr b*, we just watched it, too. 🤣 I love your channel. I love listening to you talk about life!!! You're very entertaining.
I really like the phrase "Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Don't want to clean the whole bathroom? Wipe the sink down, even if it's with a paper towel. Don't wanna do the whole workout? Do some other kind of movement instead. Don't want to get your whole life together perfectly? Do something that will make this situation better instead. It really helps with the perfectionist all or nothing mentality
Going through a breakup of a two week Situationship, so I'm a mess. I Love the title and I am setting my hopes very high that it would help me to be "normal" again. For now I'm buying a lot of candles and flowers.
Thank you, Caroline ❤
ah babe. attachment can grow quickly, i am sure you are in an unfun place right now. whatever you're feeling, know that all things pass and evolve into something new. hang in there and be proud of yourself. big hug
Sending you a hug. ❤ Trust your instincts, go with what works for you and know that good and bad moments are all a part of the process. I wish you all the best and imagining the awesome scents in your home.
@@fionaschiffl8065 thank you so much ❤️
@@Caroline_Winkler thank you ❤️
Hang in there. I know it's hard and it takes time. Feel the emotions and feelings but then forgive yourself if you are feeling you need it and keep moving forward. Things DO get better. It just takes time. ❤
Caroline, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having panic attacks! I’ve had my panic disorder for 12 years now and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. My heart’s with you, sweet girl ❤
“Wear clothes you actually like when you’re painting”, that brightened my day! I happened to be painting my kitchen while listening to your video. I looked down at my raggedy sweats and went, yeah I love that idea! Changed my life, thank you!
You gotta feel it all. So often people try to turn it off- avoid it. Which is easy to do with tik Tok, Facebook, TV, CZcams, etc. I journal and let myself get it all out. That's how I move forward.
Love the paint brush conducting. The reason I watch you and listen to you is that you are a natural communicator, be it with flowers or boxes or a paint brush. Keep it flowing, girl.
I think im going through my first ever depressive episode and have been feeling very lonely. So thank you for giving me a reality check, that im not the only one going through tough shit and making me feel a bit better about myself ❤
That's so fucking hard. The first time can feel so scary, so hopeless, so endless. I am SO glad you shared with us, because now I get to send you all the internet love ❤❤ Please know that this won't last forever and that you are important.
thank you, means a lot to me xoxo@@bonesonstones1
This is yet another Caroline video I'll be showing to my therapist. Interestingly I don't seem to have any of these issues - but not in a brag way, in a "oooh... what's going on with THAT" type way. As someone who tested off the charts on the disassociation scale, seeing someone talk about these topics makes me realize things I need to dig deeper into myself. Caroline, thank you for making introspective videos like this that I don't relate to AT ALL, but I find very helpful as a benchmark for growth, or for introspection, or for caring for oneself and others. Even in this perhaps unexpected way, you are helping people (me).
Panic attacks suck big time. I’ve had them since I was a little kid. I don’t have a huge amount of advice but one thing that’s helpful is to tell yourself “this will pass, nothing lasts forever.” It makes the process feel a bit lighter because you know it will be over in no time. I’m having a bit of a weird crap emotional time, so this video was perfect. Thank you always ❤
Breathing through it helps me.
This is the type of video that makes me curious about what you're going through or have gone through to couch your inner demons into a video that's helpful for the public (which I admire, BTW). But, seriously-I know you'll never be able to share whatever it is publicly, so... [Pats Caroline on the back.] 🥺
I am 2,5 years into burnout and beating myself up for still not doing better. This made me cry so hard. Thankyou, I needed this ❤️
I hope you’re doing so much better now it’s almost half a year on. I know burnout, once it’s here, it overstays it’s welcome and refuses to leave. I hope you’re in a better place and if not, I hope you’re being kind to yourself because it’s not your fault.
Literally just woke up from a night of panic. Thank you Caroline for sharing something so raw and tangible ♥️ I hope you find something that works soon
i hope you do to bb
Take care of you ❤ Sending you a hug and wishing you a peaceful sleep tonight…and every night. 😊
If you're going through hell keep moving.
Sending love. Been there. And believe me, you will get through this, you will. And you'll be able to look back on this time and know how strong you are ❤
Never underestimate the power
of your own gentle hand
when placed over a racing heart,
that press of flesh to flesh
which says: Yes, you will make it
through this. Walk alone
in the snowy woods and listen
for the way trees speak
to each other in winter, rubbing
bare limbs together. Reach out to a friend, let their voice
be the lullaby you never heard
as a child. Let kind words
wrap around you like a blanket
so thick it soaks up the sound
of every secret worry (When Fear Takes Over by James Crews)
Perfection is the enemy of good.
The self-compassion tip has made a drastic difference to my inner monologue: I look at the terrible things I tell myself [when I mess up or look in the mirror or whatever] through the lens of imagining any of those things being said to a loved one and how I would be ready to throw down. Then I make a conscious effort to give myself even half the grace I give to my mother or a best friend.
Perfectionism usually stems from watching an obsessive compulsive parent, and since our own self image is molded from our first relationships (our parents) and the behaviors we pick up from our parents. Reparenting is a MUST! It has absolutely saved me.
I’ve been unemployed for 6 months now after getting laid off and had to move back home because I couldn’t afford rent anymore. It’s been needlessly hard to accept a self-care routine for myself and create consistency, so thank you Caroline for making this video and inspiring me to motivate myself 🫶
It's weird how timely your videos always are and coincide with shit I have going on, lol. Are we all just out here living the same life affected by the same stuff at the same time? 😘😘 (The other day my therapist had given me some tools to use, and at the end of the session I said "we'll see if I can do it or not" and she responded: "it isn't an all or nothing kind of thing, it can be a 3% better outcome or you only sit in these thoughts for 10 minutes instead of 15 minutes. Celebrate the little wins." --- and here you are talking about all or nothing. It's FUCKING TIMELY, CAROLINE. 💜
Whether it's with beating yourself up for one thing or another, we can all handle being a lil kinder to ourselves, huh? Hugs to everyone who reads this.
I'm 50 seconds into this video and I'm in tears. I saw your video in the early hours of the morning while crying about my diet and lifestyle choices for the past 14 years. Crying because now my body's facing the consequences. I love what you said about "a high functioning eating disorder". Yoh Caroline! That slapped! I feel like I was low key in that zone.
Anywho...
Thank you so much for shinning love and light on this topic.
I'm such a fan of your humour.
My Washingtonian queen! Practical and relatable as always.
You’re a rare combo.
A person w wisdom courage and wit. .. all wrapped up in lovely gift to us!
sobbed through this whole video, ive been going thru hell for the past 4 months and couldn't help internalizing things. i did not realize until now how much i needed someone to look at me (ok from youtube but still) and tell me to calm my tits and be nicer to myself. caroline winkler you are very special, thank you for being a virtual friend to me and your many followers.
Thanks so much for this video - my therapist told me a few months ago, "self-compassion is like a foreign concept to you". Can't tell you how much it helps to get reinforcement from some place other than myself and my therapist on this work.
Love is the foreign language I am now learning.
It's an old system from the late 1900s, but the Franklin planner is SUCH a great tool for keeping anxiety and stress at bay. And it's wonderful for keep life organized. I recently dusted off my old one and have been amazed at how much it's still relevant.
I didn’t even know about this! Gonna have to give it a try
I think what I love the most about you is your versatility/multifacetedness. (Is that a word?)
To be funny *_and_* deep is the coolest and sexiest thing.
❤
..And yes, I _am_ impressed. I truly am. 😂
The new dresser is AMAZING btw.!!!
Tbh. for me it's (mostly) not myself that isn't nice to me and lacks love & compassion, it's rather the people around me. Weird. Or wild. Idk.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my CZcams channel 9 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,427 subs and > 1,000 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
Wow. Your suggestion that we can say to ourselves, "It's OK to just choose to learn from this" -- it just released me from all those silly, superstitious thoughts like "Oh this (completely unrelated negative event) is happening to me because I was bad." I know. I sound completely neurotic. But those thoughts were there. And now it seems they're not. Or at least I can quickly wipe them away with your wise statement -- "It's OK to just choose to learn from this." And when you combine it with self-compassion -- "I have complete compassion for my sons -- so I'm going to share that same feeling with myself" -- wow. Thank you.
I like the way you put it: self care is about self compassion
Sorry to hear you are in a tough place right now. Do you understand how much peace of mind, guidance, and self help you provide to others? I cried through most of this video. You help others. I hope you find the help you need. Take care of yourself.
The all-or-nothing mentality gets me every time. I love this video!!!!
the more i think about it, the more it colors like...everything i do!
I don't have "an all or nothing" mentality. I have "an all" mentality😁. Where I direct my energy, I try to do the maximum. It's all because I grew up in a narcissistic family where I was never good enough by do anything, so I learned to do all I could to avoid feeling guilty.
In my 20’s I realized that I spent so much time and mental energy in thinking about me, myself, how I feel, what I think. Me me me, I felt depressed, anxious, annoyed. Once I caught this pattern, I made efforts to think more of others and helping others then I felt free and happy. I started volunteering, in has been great!!! If you give too much then seek balance with that. Balance:)
Oh wow I have been in tears all day just so so sad. I have been struggling with depression for a while but today I think it’s hormonal too. I have cried at every movie I watched to try and distract myself. It’s the middle of the night can’t sleep and was just thinking what do I do now. I was Googling what I can do to try and break the cycle of depression even a little bit. And then I saw you just posted this. I know it’s coincidence, but it doesn’t feel like coincidence. It feels like it was a video made just for me ! so thank you so much I cannot tell you what it’s meant to me. You always inspire and motivate me. Having a few practical tips is going to be very helpful to hang onto the cliff I am on. In the Uk we wait for years for treatment and private is too expensive so therapy isn’t going to happen any time soon. So this is unbelievably helpful. Thanks again Caroline you are truly inspirational because I hear the truth in your words because you have been there too. ❤
Always look forward to your videos, but my mom just passed, and I needed this more than ever. Love you, my pretend internet friend!
Sending comforting energies and love 💜 🕊
Came for your organizing and decor tips, stayed for your humor, vulnerability, relatability, and actually practical self-care advice.
The organizing tip? 100%. I swear by it. I just do chores till I feel better
The aestheticification of "self-care" is the social media trend that destroys a realistic relationship with it.
Girl girl girl!! I am a mother with a crazy life and somehow I feel so connected to you!! I love your sense of humor & how you humble yourself, crack jokes with a serious face & still get your point across all whilst decorating & keeping us visually busy. I can follow you so well. Love you & your page so much!! Gonna start listening to your Podcast. ❤ You're definitely a friend in my head, lol. 😂 Thank you for being you!! 😊
Your advice couldn't have come at a better time in my life. (Although honestly I didn't click on this video in the 5 months it's been popping up in my recommended because I guess I was scared to self-care? Scared to face myself? idk, but if you ever worry about viewership just know that happy subscribers like me might just be scared to face things that your videos present. Not in a bad way.)
I also live in DC and if you ever need an ugly grey box apartment to makeover (with my own money ofc) I'd be happy to lend you my space. Maybe that was presumptuous, but oh well, it can't hurt to shoot my shot!
P.S. Good Wood was so amazing. Thanks for the rec!
15:01 can relate sm. last time I though “wow I became so resilient, wasn’t that hard” I broke down crying almost immediately after
When your fav posts a video, so your mundane afternoon meal prep just got 100 times better ❤❤❤ Sending love from NYC!
meal prep is such a great meditative activity, love it for self care actually
Caroline, one of your videos was the thing that convinced me it was okay to quit a toxic job as I was slipping back into depression. I feel like you've been there for me during a really hard time in my life (in a confusing parasocial-relationship way), and I hope you get the same feeling of genuine support from your subscribers in your on-top-of-the-moon phases and endless-emotional-slog phases of life. You do good for the world. I trust you to do good for yourself too. I hope you can trust that you can make it feel better, too.
Also, we might take a page out of Hannibal's book. He seems like a pretty healthy person and nails self care. He also exudes confidence and success.
Caroline, please consider being assessed for adhd, everything you're describing emotionally and just the way you are in general very much fits it, it also explains why most medication hasn't worked for you, I had the same struggle. Specialized adhd medication has done a 180 on my wellbeing finally feeling free
13:03 took. me. DOWN. 😭😭 in the midst of battling the big sad brought on by self sabatoging habits, I really did need to hear all of this. Thank you, Caroline ❤ the timing of a video like this is fkn impeccable
Caroline- I am 21 and only very recently did I get burnt out with hating myself. The nitpicking became so debilitating that I finally said enough is enough. But the negativity is so ingrained it's not an easy thing to do. I heavily relate to the belief that I am fundamentally a bad person. I am scared to be vulnerable with my friends because I don't want to distance them. I am terrified of being in a relationship with anyone because I think that somehow I will hurt them.
"You don't deserve compassion because you've been perfect... you can recognize a mistake and just choose to learn from it". Yeah I cried. Thank you for those words. Your videos (and your podcast with Jess) make self-compassion seem a little more possible.
💜 IMO Guilt (when it’s accurate, well-adjusted) is a Loving Protecting Guide not a cudgel for punishment… that is shame which attaches error to soul self (which is a lie) and therefore makes it impossible to improve… only two choices w shame, projection of pain onto others or endless internal beating of self. Shame is ego based/authoritarian/punitive without escape/slave making. Ego trap is both superiority OR inferiority. Guilt as Guide is loving with growth mentality ~ preventing us from wrong actions or inactions again towards ourselves or others … introspection/intuition. A moral compass includes one’s self and so growth guilt is protective of not only others but ourselves! It’s only there for protection not punishment! If you’re guilt-prone beware that that can be so easily manipulated~ people can make you feel guilt just for living your life, pursuing your goals and being happy! Moral compass~ Love & Truth North and South~ Yourself and Others East & West… and though we love others, the duties we have to ourselves is different than the response-abilities we have to others… example we can choose our own thoughts, spirituals Creator , connection actions, goals, what we do/don’t do but we can’t for others and we have to adjust that compass w Creator, not any human because people will try to mess w your moral compass to make you feel bad about doing right for yourself/protecting yourself . Your empathy can make you overly guilt prone and vulnerable to influence/manipulation… make you feel response-able for what is not possible… it’s just as bad to take responsibility for what is NOT yours as it is good to take responsibility for what IS yours! if you exit the ego paradigm and enter Love, Guilt is only there for growth mentality/spirituality ~ to protect yourself and others too! Moral compass is about protection & direction! Like sailing ⛵️ some stuff it took me a long time to figure out 💜 ✌️
I absolutely adore you Caroline. I can't express how much it fills my cup to see genuine real people talk about what they struggle with. You're so inspiring. thank you
I can't believe how fast I started tearing up when I started imagining my baby sister, whom I am very protective of. I allow her all the grace. And my soul knew right away that I deserve that amount of protection and gentleness. I am reminded of this phrase - - "I want to treat my weaknesses tenderly."
Thank you for the meaningful hack!
"It's okay to just choose to learn from this." - and this why I follow your channel. Sometimes you're intense and I'm like, "I can't watch this right now xD" but one thing I feel is always true..is that you're genuine. I admire your raw, genuine, humanity. Thank you. ❤ and I wish you strength, forgiveness and clarity through this time! Panic attacks can be really rough. But you can do it ^-^ ❤❤
Really filled my heart, thanks friend ❤️big hug to you
I really like hearing you specifically talk about mental health or your own mental health. Thank you for your videos they're so real.
i appreciate hearing this. there is so much mental health talk on social media, and sometimes it feels a little opportunistic, so i often am left wanting to avoid the conversation a bit? i never want it to come off the wrong way. at the same time, these are the tidbits i share when someone i love is really struggling and really desperate for a path forward. i hope it is helpful
Stillness & listening to ur anxiety, emotional wounds & physical pains. Connecting w ur essence is healing.
The “keeping busy” & keeping distracted will make symptoms worse, not better.
I didn’t go to a yoga class I usually go to today and I felt awful about it, which feels insane. Obsessing about routine and perfection seems to suggest I don’t trust or care about myself in a real way. This video speaks to me so hard, love and compassion is my real goal, not a perfect routine.
Thanks again for a good video Caroline. I keep finding myself mentioning you and the podcast (shoutsouts to jess) to my therapist lmao. It's more valuable than you probably think, having someone who is also a young woman and who often has similar feelings to myself, talking so openly and straightforward about life, experiences and feelings. It's nice to listen to someone who doesn't act like she has everything figured out, but actively is working on doing so. There's something about the way you talk about these things that just really resonates with me, a sceptic by nature.
ah wow, biggest honor. we love to come to therapy with you
@@Caroline_WinklerYou most certainly will ❤
Absolutely. Caroline has so much wisdom, knowledge, inspiration and heart and expresses it in such a way that it stays with you and has had me screaming “Why aren’t all therapists, parents and teachers teaching us this stuff?” throughout life? It would have been so helpful to learn this 40yrs ago for me. Take care of you. ❤
This self care video couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you so much for sharing this video Caroline. I could tell that it was very emotional for you and very dear to your heart. My mama just passed away at 12 am Tuesday 11-21-2023. She was 100 years old. I drove 8 1/2 hours to be able to tell her goodbye. I miss her terribly. I’m going to work on all five of these self care tips. I absolutely love these suggestions! Thanks again for sharing. I sincerely hope that you are successful in your search for peace. Love always, your devoted, CZcams viewer.
I wholeheartedly agree with needing “connection”. I find mine in listening to the radio - a station that has people actually talking on it, and who are live, not pre-recorded. And a distant second place pick is watching daytime tv, again a show that has people talking and that is broadcast live, but not the news.
Same, I listened to the radio a lot during the pandemic, and stuck to this habit. It's comforting to hear the same people over time.
Sending you a hug ❤ This year has been all about self care for me. NET therapy has been life changing and I’ve taken advantage of every mental health service this year which has been great. Friends and family kept lecturing me on what’s best for me and making me feel worse. Instead I’ve been trusting my instincts for the 1st time and while it’s a slow process, it’s right for me. Finally getting the narcissist’s insults out of my head. Organising, learning to do what works for me and renovating my house is making me trust my gut and giving me confidence. Learning new things has been awesome. Family just wanted me to go back to old hobbies. Just need to be the only voice in my head now to reset and start anew. Take care of your heart everyone 😊
Good for you!! Truly one of the joys of the holiday season is being obligated into spending time with people who have the worst advice because I am living proof of how toxic taking that advice can be. Good on you for doing the work and listening to yourself (:
@@potsnpaninis Thank you! I grew up with always having to apologise to a narc sister for whatever she was angry at me for and Mum would say I must have done something to set her off. Left me trauma bonded to awful people all my life with no boundaries. I’m so glad you’re doing the work too and I wish you all the best and an awesome life!
I feel like it just changed my life when you opened your cabinets. I'm often hard on myself for not having a space that feels beautiful or well designed or even, yes, organized! Seeing that you also have these struggles actually really, really helps. Thank you so much for sharing this!!
Knowing that there are people on CZcams making content which aims to be vulnerable, open and helpful, makes things a little brighter. Thanks for being you, and thanks for telling me things I didn’t even know would mean so much to hear.
I used to weigh over 300 lbs. Then I invented a sport called cry-jogging and lost a ton of weight. It's LIT. lol but seriously walking and running was so good for my emotions too. I too have embarrassingly cried at the gym. Big ol tears.
When I need to regulate, YES, the physical! A million times yes. I'm a musician, and I noticed years ago that if I was really upset over say, a tiff w a friend, I could practice and calm myself. It brings me way closer to my baseline normal emotions, quite quickly. I think it's a similar principle to EMDR tbh.
My most fundamental gym goal is this:
Master the art of showing up
This has revolutionised my whole life! I no longer push when my body needs more rest. I just need to walk into the gym and do something each visit.
I go to the gym because it balances my mental health. Some days are really tough, so on those days I remind myself that I will feel better once I've shown up at the gym and I only have to do "something" if I can't do it all.
I also pay attention to other things I do and how they affect me both initially and over time. This has helped me to adapt different habits and learn what to say yes to and what to say no to.
Today, I was buying salmon and salad as I've been craving more fresh produce. My son asked if I wanted a chocolate. I realised that I liked the idea of chocolate more than the reality, so I said no. That felt really good and empowering ❤ this was true self care.
Ok, watched the rest of the video. So proud of you for making these videos even when you’re going through a rough patch. You’re the poster girl for authentic on social media imho. I’ve seen many try, but you really put yourself out there more than anyone else I’ve seen. I hope making these videos are just a little bit therapeutic for you and you can feel some joy in knowing how much it helps others to have someone on social media who we can count on to be so relatable in this fake ass world. You’re truly a gem. I’m wondering if being in a relationship is triggering you. I’ve had that happen. So much stuff gets triggered when we feel vulnerable. I hope he’s supportive and I hope he’s good for you. If he’s not, kick him to the curb girl. Don’t let anyone drag down your vibes! You deserve the best sister! Keep shining beauty. ✨💖🙏🏽
I cried and laughed watching your video, Caroline, and I am so grateful for it! I am a clinical psychologist and sometimes the pressure to be put together, especially around PMS is too great to handle. To see how you deal with these struggles is inspiring and refreshing and all-around amazing. Your honesty is like a mountain of fresh air and I look forward to all of your future videos. Thank you!
Catherine, I am not going to lie, you make being an adult more doable, sometimes I just sit back and listen to your videos and I realize that I am not nice to myself.
Thank you so much for posting this. ❤
Was just refreshing to find something to watch thank you for uploading ❤
mwah. gotchu
this video would have saved me so much energy and pain 3 years ago, love the message. Wishing the best of health and happiness to everyone here, recovery is beautiful and you are worthy 💗
I love you for this. Exactly what i needed to hear. Thank you!
Thanks for the video!