When narcissists are taken to COURT

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  • čas přidán 12. 11. 2023
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Komentáře • 582

  • @annamiller8871
    @annamiller8871 Před 8 měsíci +341

    NEVER interfere with an enemy when they are in the process of destroying themselves.

    • @bronwyntanner4501
      @bronwyntanner4501 Před 8 měsíci +19

      Love this

    • @clogs4956
      @clogs4956 Před 8 měsíci +14

      The Art of War…

    • @erinward2983
      @erinward2983 Před 8 měsíci +18

      It sucks when the enemy is your parent, but when someone doesn’t hesitate to run an ongoing campaign to destroy your spirit, this is a statement too true and one to live by.

    • @SimbaAliaye
      @SimbaAliaye Před 8 měsíci +9

      Great😂

    • @annamiller8871
      @annamiller8871 Před 8 měsíci +16

      @@erinward2983 too true. I've found that sometimes you can't tell people who the narcissist is you have to show them.

  • @violetv3958
    @violetv3958 Před 8 měsíci +194

    If they had taught me about narcissism in school I could have avoided A LOT of trouble… and I don’t think I’m the only one

    • @clairejones624
      @clairejones624 Před 8 měsíci +14

      You’re not alone.

    • @rde4017
      @rde4017 Před 8 měsíci +13

      Especially with the playground bullies. Remember how the bullies were always pathologically unintelligent and cowardly? Sound familiar?

    • @robshorts
      @robshorts Před 8 měsíci +7

      Completely agree, it should be taught in schools, narcissists are such dangerous and destructive people. It doesn't help that the term is used casually and incorrectly.

    • @robinkholmes7127
      @robinkholmes7127 Před 8 měsíci +4

      Me too

    • @geraldinebyrnes3298
      @geraldinebyrnes3298 Před 8 měsíci +9

      Totally agree It should be taught in school at least to recognise the red flags

  • @ichdu7310
    @ichdu7310 Před 8 měsíci +201

    My exwife had a hard time in court during our divorce as she annoyed the judge and was constantly complaining and knowing everything better. I kept my mouth shut and let my lawyer do this work and let the law proceed as it was written and guess what, the end result was a huge and unpleasant surprise for my exwife :)

    • @AndreasRohdin-MrGamer
      @AndreasRohdin-MrGamer Před 8 měsíci +17

      This... Does put a smile on my face.

    • @JoelC6220
      @JoelC6220 Před 8 měsíci +5

      You were very lucky

    • @meadowrae1491
      @meadowrae1491 Před 8 měsíci

      @@JoelC6220 I say that all the time about my divorce. I got so, so lucky.

    • @raccuia1
      @raccuia1 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Indeed. Um, um who is another narcissist in court, um um, Tronald Dump.

    • @mart242
      @mart242 Před 8 měsíci +4

      Same here. Judge told my ex to shut up and respect the court. That was after she yelled that I was a rapist.

  • @youngblood8540
    @youngblood8540 Před 8 měsíci +92

    True character is revealed when pressure is applied.

  • @thetrainwreck1469
    @thetrainwreck1469 Před 8 měsíci +100

    A word to the wise, Family Court is a whole other ballgame. My divorce dragged on for ten years. It was a nightmare. It only ended when my NPD passed away. I will NEVER get married again. I didnt know about NPD until much later so I could unscrew my brain from all the trauma and terrorizing I had to live through for decades. He was misdiagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, but his doctor warned me he was dangerous and unpredictable. It was too late we were already married and had kids by then. It was like walking on eggshells my whole adult life. He was so dramatic and I lived in fear. Now, I can sense a NPD from a mile away and seek to avoid people. It's very toxic and it feels like you have been poisoned. It takes a long time to detox from that situation.

    • @clogs4956
      @clogs4956 Před 8 měsíci +9

      Sounds more like a psychopath, but it’s called the Dark Triangle for a reason.

    • @HomeCanner
      @HomeCanner Před 8 měsíci +10

      I pray 🙏 that you ARE young enough to truly detox and are able to enjoy along, happy peaceful life!

    • @annamiller8871
      @annamiller8871 Před 8 měsíci +3

      I know what you mean my "spidy sense" for these folks showed up a few years ago. Covert narcissist mother is my trouble, but until a few years ago I had no idea what to call this or why I was always sad. Maybe I take it to far now sometimes. She old and I'm not afraid of her anymore. Sometimes on the rare occasion I do see her sometimes I gaslight her for fun and then if she calls me out I laugh 😂.

    • @PeppermintPatties
      @PeppermintPatties Před 8 měsíci +8

      "It's very toxic and feels like you've been poisoned."
      Wow, do I know how that feels!
      I really hope you're okay. ❤️

    • @christopherleubner6633
      @christopherleubner6633 Před 8 měsíci +7

      Kids plus family court vs a narcissist is a special kind of hell I would not wish on anyone. 😢😢😢

  • @WarGasm0824
    @WarGasm0824 Před 8 měsíci +270

    I think that anybody who saw the Amber Herd versus Jonny Depp case saw narcissism on trial.

    • @marikit78
      @marikit78 Před 8 měsíci +15

      yep

    • @katharinavonzitzewitz826
      @katharinavonzitzewitz826 Před 8 měsíci +16

      Exactly was I was thinking !

    • @bellaluce7088
      @bellaluce7088 Před 8 měsíci +61

      It's heartwarming to me that so many female victims of assault/domestic violence saw through the gender stereotypes the media constantly perpertuated/s in their coverage of that trial and recognized Johnny Depp as a fellow survivor. ❤

    • @matt3024
      @matt3024 Před 8 měsíci

      Is someone who goes by the name 'Wargasm 'it is transparently obvious why you have completely overlooked the recent and well-publicised trials of Donald Trump!

    • @RepentTimeIsAtHand
      @RepentTimeIsAtHand Před 8 měsíci +22

      ​@@bellaluce7088Yes deeply true. Being a survivor myself it is precisely what I witnessed in Johnny's trial.

  • @beverlypawsat6529
    @beverlypawsat6529 Před 8 měsíci +75

    "Don't do well where they have to tone down their entitlement, they crack, can't stop themselves, roll their eyes, shift in their seat, mumble things under their breath." So true, Dr Ramani, you're the best!

  • @hedviglien8786
    @hedviglien8786 Před 8 měsíci +42

    Staying calm is excellent advice, but even more important is to document everything and anticipate their arguments. Often narcissists find narcissistic lawyers and they love delaying, derailing and sabotage. To them it's more important that you loose than to get a solution. So basically a nightmare all together. Be prepared for it all!

  • @lees7340
    @lees7340 Před 8 měsíci +85

    I filed a no contact order against my narcissistic FIL, and in retaliation he filed one against me too. I did it on my own, spent 0$, just wasted a few hours plus a few trips to the court house. He hired a lawyer who fleeced him really well. He behaved quite well in the courtroom consider he’s a narcissist, but lied a lot as usual. He really felt humiliated for what I told in the courtroom coz he had a reputation to keep as a “community leader”.

    • @robinkholmes7127
      @robinkholmes7127 Před 8 měsíci +8

      I can imagine a narc in court telling lies contradicting themselves and getting called out.

    • @annamiller8871
      @annamiller8871 Před 8 měsíci

      @@robinkholmes7127 it's a beautiful thing.😊 Every abuse survivor should at least get to witness the show once.

    • @pseudopuppy160
      @pseudopuppy160 Před 8 měsíci +4

      Oh this is delicious!! 😁

  • @lialowe266
    @lialowe266 Před 8 měsíci +92

    My ex was an attorney..my life with him was like I was perpetually in court being interrogated

    • @kimthomas781
      @kimthomas781 Před 8 měsíci +10

      Ugh

    • @mac-ju5ot
      @mac-ju5ot Před 8 měsíci +9

      I feel sorry for you a lawyer got me fired at my job as a re receptoonist. My boss knew what he was doing....my boss was a huge narc friends with many lawyers a d Drs in the community.

    • @TheKrispyfort
      @TheKrispyfort Před 8 měsíci +4

      Ouch

    • @catzenhouse
      @catzenhouse Před 8 měsíci +5

      My ex was a judge. And a supreme narcissist. I didn't stand a chance. My lawyer was in over his head. (It didn't help that he told me he was on a committee with my soon to be ex's GF, another lawyer.)

    • @cyny6305
      @cyny6305 Před 8 měsíci +5

      How awful. Being involved with a cop would be even worse, imo. One of my relatives divorced one and I truly believe she feared for her life most of the time.

  • @mommaboombam3764
    @mommaboombam3764 Před 8 měsíci +55

    Seen narcissists use word salad under their false mask in court. Some ppl fall for it bc they don't understand narcissists.

    • @Gabe-sf1rl
      @Gabe-sf1rl Před 7 měsíci +1

      I took mine to court recently and I totally agree. They were calm, breezy, likable, charming, and the judge fell for it. Judge got snippy with me when they lied and I said that was incorrect because they misspoke. That was upsetting. lied to judge about employment status and said hadn’t had a job in years. I said that was a lie and then changed answer. Judge never called them out. They demanded not paying me back electronically and then when we agreed on mail order they wanted electronic. Not once did anyone see through the game. sent me an email later smug and proud how the hearing went even though I won. I truly don’t think people see through them because today was an award winning performance. They were even joking with complete strangers outside before court started.

    • @MonochromaticBlues
      @MonochromaticBlues Před 4 měsíci

      What’s the deal you won get over it gosh….

    • @crystalhappy7588
      @crystalhappy7588 Před 3 měsíci

      @@Gabe-sf1rl OMG I’m sorry you had to deal with that personality. I was with one for 15 years, now without for 7 yrs and still healing.

  • @sam-wise777
    @sam-wise777 Před 8 měsíci +49

    My narcissistic aunt took me to court over my inheritance. I got a lawyer and was ready to fight it when we found out that my aunt went behind our back, set up the court date, never told us about it, and since we didn't show up, she won. My aunt's lawyer stopped being a lawyer immediately after that. That's when I learned that immoral is not the same as illegal.

    • @erinward2983
      @erinward2983 Před 8 měsíci +11

      Wow. I’m sorry to hear your story. It’s truly amazing the way people behave and treat those they’re supposed to love. Greed corrupts the ill willed easily, and this is a testament to that.

    • @sam-wise777
      @sam-wise777 Před 8 měsíci +9

      @@erinward2983 Thank you so much for your concern. Greed was apart of it, yes, however she is from a family of shitty people and this was just one more horrible thing to add to the list. I went no contact with the entire family.

    • @chantesammering
      @chantesammering Před 8 měsíci +13

      Surely you can contest the ruling?

    • @sam-wise777
      @sam-wise777 Před 8 měsíci +4

      @@chantesammering My lawyer said there was nothing we could do.

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 Před 8 měsíci

      Even though I feel like we're missing a WHOLE lot of facts here and I don't know what state you're in, I'd get another attorney for a second opinion. Generally, ALL parties to a proceeding like that are supposed to be notified AHEAD OF TIME. I mean - it depends on what the contested inheritance actually was (money vs property, juts for one example) as well as what the rules are in that jurisdiction, but ... sounds fishy @@sam-wise777

  • @claireburkus8497
    @claireburkus8497 Před 8 měsíci +48

    My ex had a set of papers that he needed to turn over to my female lawyer( I chose a divorce lawyer who was on a board at a women’s abuse shelter home thinking she would be so aware of controlling narc situations!) …as we stood lawyer to lawyer in the courtroom, my ex announced he had the papers for her and tossed them to the floor at her feet instead of handing them to her!!!😳…we all stood there totally shocked at this behavior!!!! Yep…I had chosen well for my lawyer….she totally understood all the antics of the narc!!!!That was 2005… couples counselors were not up to speed at dealing with narcissistic abuse…my lawyer and my personal counselor were on top of things from the start !!!! But today there is so much going on in the area..I am finally letting myself off the hook…I already survived…now on to thriving !!!!

    • @robinkholmes7127
      @robinkholmes7127 Před 8 měsíci +2

      The fact that your ex couldn't be subtle for even a minute with his condescending attitude. I'm sure his lawyer was facepalming on the inside.

  • @djer05010401
    @djer05010401 Před 8 měsíci +39

    Yes! As a business litigation attorney, I've dealt with more than my share of narcissists. Most judges saw right through them. Even though they were a huge pain to deal with and cost their opponents a lot of money, I really enjoyed having opposing parties or witnesses like this because they couldn't bully or manipulate their way to getting what they wanted when they were under oath on the witness stand.

    • @rileyhoffman6629
      @rileyhoffman6629 Před 8 měsíci +11

      I wonder what an oath means to a narcissist, someone to whom Truth depends on mood.

    • @virginiahart4480
      @virginiahart4480 Před 4 měsíci

      My Narcissists/Abusers (multiple) just lied (ie, Perjury), Under Oath, over and over and over again with absolutely no negative consequences. I found actual photos of my Ex Narcissist with the Judges (multiple), ie blatant, undeniable evidences of Corruption, which I reported, upon discovery, giving said pieces of evidences. Aren't I entitled, by law, to a Fair Trial??? It is now a Federal Case.
      I am still being Deprived of My Rights, Under Color of Law, without legal justification and/or cause, even after the FBI and others have acknowledged, multiple times, in writing, that they have thoroughly investigated and determined that I am a victim of multiple felonies, not the perpetrator!
      I was put under State Protection (Address Confidentiality Program Code #146) and literally revictimized into chronic homelessness by Corrupt Judges and Corrupt Public Officials that I have Whistleblown against. Very true, very horrifying story happening right here in the USA!!!
      This is not a She Said/They Said situation. I have uploaded over 3,000+ pieces of actual, hard evidences against all of them that they claim "doesn't exist" (ie, Gaslighting) then they demanded the pieces of actual, hard evidences against all of them be returned to them. I was instructed to keep said evidences in my possession for their trials.

  • @EllaAndrophobia
    @EllaAndrophobia Před 8 měsíci +37

    Most terrifying experience of my life. The judge was also a wife beater and a narcissist. He punished me for leaving my abuser.

  • @karenabrams8986
    @karenabrams8986 Před 8 měsíci +12

    My wife’s ex, who adopted 2 kids with her, left for Hollywood to become an actress 6 months after signing the papers. She was living off their state support checks in LA and applying for food stamps in the kids names. That triggered child support to come after my wife who quickly proved the kids were living with her. The support checks got redirected back to my wife and the ex had to go to child support court where she was ordered to pay my wife @$300 a month. She stood there in disbelief and actually said to the judge “I have to pay HER!?!”
    The judge said YES, and when you start working, you can pay her MORE.
    It was a delightful victory against that terrorist. I will never forget it.

  • @PaigeSquared
    @PaigeSquared Před 8 měsíci +24

    It is amazing to see a judge ask a direct question and to see them scramble to do their "answer by not answering" thing, in a situation where it's not allowed. At the end of the day it's respect, they at least understand that they want the judge to like them, that the judge has influence over their life.
    FYI ladies I was able to get a lawyer for a PFA via a women's shelter. I applied for a grant because I didn't have income and the services were covered. It saved my life.

  • @lynylcullen8370
    @lynylcullen8370 Před 8 měsíci +37

    OMG! This is SPOT ON! It’s incredible because this is exactly what happened in court against the narcissist in my life! Got in major trouble with judge!!

  • @DesHall
    @DesHall Před 8 měsíci +13

    pray for me

  • @sunnydaye5942
    @sunnydaye5942 Před 8 měsíci +8

    The judge told him that arguments do not cause broken bones. He broke my wrist and was arguing it wasn't him that it was JUST an argument. I got my Protection order. Only 6 months and he broke it 13 times. He keeps getting jail time, doesn't show for court, gets off with this and that. But 3 states have warrants out for him. He's currently in jail. I breathe easy for a while.

  • @lillianbarker4292
    @lillianbarker4292 Před 8 měsíci +15

    It was such a pleasure to hear about my narcissistic brother in-law in divorce court. The judge would not put up with any of his usual obnoxious comments . It must have been cathartic for my sweet sister-in-law who had endured it for 30 years. By the way Dr R., that’s a great fashion look on you. 😊

  • @palalechat
    @palalechat Před 8 měsíci +12

    Reminds me of an early red flag in my last narcissistic relationship. When we met, I was going to the gym regularly and looked and felt really good. So when we started dating I invited him to join me. It was clear that he wasn't excited about the prospect but I thought maybe he'd find that he enjoyed it so I persevered. About 30 minutes later, he comes up to me in a rage to tell me that we needed to leave. I'm like, why? He says that he was told that he couldn't work out in sandals. I hadn't really noticed but who goes to the gym in sandals? He was so enraged that they had told him he couldn't stay there without closed toe shoes, and it was clear we would never be back. Knowing what I know now, I so wish I would have said, those are the rules and they make sense. What's your problem? That would no doubt have ended our relationship. Sigh, such a great way to avoid a narcissistic relationship!

  • @Luckymillion96
    @Luckymillion96 Před 8 měsíci +3

    They will steal your children , your dogs, and your mother's bible., And never have to suffer the consequences of their actions

  • @thetrainwreck1469
    @thetrainwreck1469 Před 8 měsíci +24

    I disagree. I never got any justice from my NPD husband. Mine would cry crocodile tears on cue for court even tho he never cried in all the 20 years we were together. Not even when our son died in a car accident. He was a beautiful liar, too. I could only wish his pants caught n fire in the courtroom. lol He stole pages out of my journal to try to use against me. He had a tote bag full of notes about me. He had an affair partner (twice divorced) where he could go to her for divorce advice and to use her phone. Then it was two against one. He tried to starve me into a divorce agreement. He tried to honeymoon me into a divorce agreement. He tried to trash my name in public any chance he got. He was a sick f*cking bastard. He's passed away now. A victim of his own lifestyle. Good riddance, Andy. I felt such relief he couldnt hurt me anymore. I was giddy when I saw his obituary in the paper.

    • @tsuba666
      @tsuba666 Před 8 měsíci +3

      I must say, I agree with you.
      I saw my share of messy divorces and if some narcissists are misbehaving in court (which doesn't always play against them...) others are just oh so happy to have an attentive audience and they play their part like the talented actors they are.
      Crying on cue.
      Lying through their teeth.
      Pretending to be the victim of such a devious scheme plotted against them by the real victims.
      Attracting the sympathy of everyone.
      It's sickening.

  • @daily977
    @daily977 Před 8 měsíci +8

    I had to get a Restraining order. Three times on my property documented w police. Then I filed looked up all the info on how to get a Restraining order. Not fun! But, i got one and I got distance for a time moved to another state and he still tried to hoover. Went right to the police filed a report and I will keep filing reports w the law every-time he tries to engage w me. Document Document Documents!!!

  • @christyb7590
    @christyb7590 Před 4 měsíci +6

    Court recently ended with a huge victory for us. The narc rambled on about how good a parent the narc was... Yada yada yada... How much the narc cared and loved the children. Then, the surveillance team entered the court room. Lies were all exposed on the big screen. Proof of the narc putting the children into danger... Proof of the lies. Get yourself a good private detective before you go to court. Pay them whatever they want. Find the money.

    • @superwoman7397
      @superwoman7397 Před 2 měsíci

      Ahhhh.. that made me so happy and content. Thankfully, I figured early on that he did exhibit a lot of narcissistic traits. When he smeared me, I was pretty sure but more concerned. As he wouldn't leave me alone, I began gathering proofs against him. And my my, oh my..! I have a treasure of satisfaction against him. I've filed a case against him and can't wait to go to court! The best part, he knows what I have against him and just to make sure of my safety, I told him that the cops already have everything they need against him! I couldn't hire a private detective, so I became one. All praise be to God! High five!

    • @superwoman7397
      @superwoman7397 Před 2 měsíci +1

      Congratulations for being smart! 😊

  • @clairejones624
    @clairejones624 Před 8 měsíci +21

    I love how passionate and knowledgeable you are with your work. You’re such a gift to the world. So inspiring.

  • @MegaRose1958
    @MegaRose1958 Před 8 měsíci +15

    I had to do my case by Zoom and I had to wait almost five hrs. to wait for my case to be held. I just couldn't believe how my ex denied things. I was so happy the judge could see thru his lies, she awarded me the PTO and allowed me to get paid for my hospital bill for when I had to go to the emergency room for when he punched me in my stomach and the judge allowed me to get paid for the eight to nine days I stayed at a hotel waiting for my ex to get served the PTO.

  • @HeidiMinette
    @HeidiMinette Před 8 měsíci +6

    Most of them hide behind high priced lawyers and don’t say a word (on advice from said Lawyers)

  • @SeeCSeesCC
    @SeeCSeesCC Před 8 měsíci +27

    The low functioning abusive awful Narcissist was a nightmare in court. He appealed our divorce and actually won to appeal even with his series of other crimes he was navigating legally through. It’s a triggering series of events that I now call tuition. he was tolerated in an unbelievable fashion in court, muted, but rarely faced any contempt charges. I’m writing a book on this experience because it’s morbidly fascinating

    • @thetrainwreck1469
      @thetrainwreck1469 Před 8 měsíci +8

      I too would like to write a book but I want to likewise burn those memories forever and not give them any life.

    • @SeeCSeesCC
      @SeeCSeesCC Před 8 měsíci +8

      I agree with that however, I still am working with the court system, extending my protection order for my own good because it’s necessary. . Other people need to hear and not feel alone. I don’t know what folks do that have little knowledge and support in their circumstance. I was able to overcome because I have means, and I don’t have little children, I feel like I could help somebody else. I started leaving him in 2015 and it took until 2018 to safely get out of the house and then my divorce has only been final for one year. Yes the second one🥲 the first one was granted in 2019 December 4.

    • @777Pattie
      @777Pattie Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@SeeCSeesCCYes please write your book🙏🏻!!! My daughter is married to (I/we believe) a nasty Covert Narcissist. We're going to need a lot of help in court. She has the same amount of young children as fingers on one✋🏻. He constantly threatens to use Blackmail full of lies to Social Services when she wants to call the police on him after he hurts her. He says go ahead you'll know what will happen if you call them, meaning he'll lie to the police until they take her little one's away. He says she'll have to prove herself innocent before they'll give their 5 little ones back to her💔. He's abusive in every way possible. He provides absolutely nothing for them so I have to pay for everything with my military widow's annuity. It doesn't go very far & isn't very much which explains my credit card debt over the last 11yrs providing for them. He's a demon👹 in sheep's clothing literally!! I have no idea how to proceed on such a limited income to attain a lawyer. Or what to start doing to keep him from harassing/ harming my daughter and the trickle down effect on my young grandchildren. He's been kicked out of the home I provide for them ( a year & a half) and uses his Blackmail Lies to gain access when he feels like seeing the kids, is hungry but does want to pay for his own food or wants to secretly record her after initiating an argument again. I should write my own book quickly before I hit 70 in the next couple of years. It would probably be a best seller but I might need a ghost writer I think🥹.

    • @rootsiebee
      @rootsiebee Před 8 měsíci +3

      Weaponizing the court system in child custody/support cases should be forbidden.

    • @SeeCSeesCC
      @SeeCSeesCC Před 8 měsíci +2

      @@rootsiebee I already know, but it makes lawyers a lot of money

  • @jamielynne-magney2574
    @jamielynne-magney2574 Před 8 měsíci +6

    My divorce of 22 year marriage was a nightmare. My attorney actually apologized to me (after 28k fees) for not “believing” me. As she said during one of the many settlement conferences that “no matter what corner I go to, he goes to the other”. 30 years later I still feel the effects of that relationship.

  • @rebeccahess2049
    @rebeccahess2049 Před 8 měsíci +9

    Perfect timing, I have court tomorrow with mine lol. With my soon to be ex husband, its always the outlandish messages I receive the days before court on how he is going make me go phsyco in court. He just constantly lies and disobeys the court and then of course I caused that as well. I have learned to be calm and cool from you so I cant thank you enough.

  • @pavut2
    @pavut2 Před 8 měsíci +9

    My ex could not stay composed or behave in court. This is exactly right

  • @ryanjackson4597
    @ryanjackson4597 Před měsícem +1

    Thank you so much dr Ramani. My narcissistic uncle is taking me to court to fight me over my my grandmothers Will. All of your videos have kept me sane. 💛

  • @user-ku7gm5hi1c
    @user-ku7gm5hi1c Před 8 měsíci +10

    This worked in court on the covert narc I used to be married to. I paid for the transcripts just because she was caught plain as day in 6 different complete fabrications and fits. Oh and yes her attorney quit shortly after she was exposed. WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!!

  • @lindaschultz7900
    @lindaschultz7900 Před 8 měsíci +31

    My son abandoned me 6 years ago. I think his narc dad turned him against me ( parental alienation). I reach out to him every holiday but he never responds. I even asked him if he wanted to go to therapy and he never responded. He moved to St Thomas, VI and started a business on the Beach. We would have to use Zoom/Telehealth if he decides to come back into my life and work things out. My son became very successful. I helped him get his Masters in Industrial psychology too. Of course his dad is "top dog" and helped him also get through college. My son and I have Bipolar2 and he blames me for that. We used to be very close. He has picked up some of his dad's traits. I cry on Mother's Day. I never thought this would happen to me. He's 36 years old and I don't think I'll ever see him again.😢

    • @jami7772
      @jami7772 Před 8 měsíci +7

      I know what you're going through. I have a 15 year old daughter who has been alienated from me.
      I regularly send her messages but do not get any responses. It's very tough emotionally.
      I've never received a birthday card nor a father's Day card.
      There are many of us and remember you are not alone ! Like you I anticipate that I'll never see her again and I pray for a glimmer of hope going forward. 🙏🏼

    • @kathrynsullivan4024
      @kathrynsullivan4024 Před 8 měsíci +1

      😢

    • @superguineapig1234
      @superguineapig1234 Před 8 měsíci +2

      I am sorry😢😢😢

    • @werlemountainart6655
      @werlemountainart6655 Před 8 měsíci +5

      I'm so sorry for your loss in this matter. Hope you have love in your life, you deserve love.

    • @SteeleMagnolia
      @SteeleMagnolia Před 8 měsíci +5

      Same here, x3 - ex alienated them from my life approx 3 years ago, after I called him out on his evil. He behaved just like an adolescent that day, and paid me back with a smear campaign that would have me questioning my very existence - all based on manufactured lies.

  • @Tiemoeshea
    @Tiemoeshea Před 8 měsíci +7

    I went to court with my ex husband (covert narcissist) he berated the female judge over the protection order. She didn’t grant it because they were more concerned about his military career! He brought up my PTSD and said that I was over reacting because of that although HE ADMITTED TO ABUSING ME!! He said, “ Yes, I did abuse her BUT that was in MY past!”🙄

  • @PolarBear-mj9wt
    @PolarBear-mj9wt Před 8 měsíci +4

    My mother lied about domestic violence and took me to court, and when i brought my lawyer along, she looked stunned. She assumed the experience will break me. She end up having to withdraw all her allegations but lost me and my brother as her kin forever. She is now old and alone.

  • @Alex-js5lg
    @Alex-js5lg Před 8 měsíci +5

    Narcissists are so self-unaware that they don't realize how obviously awful they appear to anyone who knows how the system typically works.

  • @kallasusort2986
    @kallasusort2986 Před 8 měsíci +1

    If only judges were trained on Narcissistic behaviors .... so many people "CRY" sob without tears - and judges fall for it.

  • @Muse91
    @Muse91 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Same experience! When I left the relation ship I called CPS to help me deal with him. I said I cannot give him our daughter without his mother being present looking for her safety. The CPS Lady was amazing. She reassured me "we know this kind of people" and arranged a familiy reunion. His family and my family met to sit at the table and discuss solutions. He sabotaged completely an blocked everything that everybody was so annoyed in the end.

  • @sydneybaxter105
    @sydneybaxter105 Před 8 měsíci +8

    My SIL thought she could persuade the judge like she was always able to squirm out of situations. He shut her down so fast and didn't hear any of her moving speeches. He wanted to see evidence. We had a lot, so we won.

  • @AngieMcQuillinCoaching
    @AngieMcQuillinCoaching Před 8 měsíci +2

    This is very reassuring. Thank you. I’m about to go head to head with a massive narcissistic person and if I win he’ll be send to prison for a long time. I hope what you said happens on the day. I agree he’ll struggle from the loss of control which will be controlled by the judge ❤️❤️

  • @Aarenzarifa3772
    @Aarenzarifa3772 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Sounds like a playground for the covert narcissist.

  • @misstrekfreak
    @misstrekfreak Před 7 měsíci +2

    Beautiful advice. Sadly we have to accept judgements don’t always go our way. Unemotional dignity and calm is the way. My narc ex had honed his skill as a poker player and his very expensive barrister meant he spent minimal time giving his evidence and zillions of objections from barrister made a joke of the process. I was able to see his ‘tell’ of seething anger that had nowhere to go. I’m just mighty glad it’s over and take comfort in knowing I’m not alone thanks to Dr Ramani and you empathetic followers 🙏🏻

  • @TheGatortale
    @TheGatortale Před 8 měsíci +2

    My attorney said ""dont say a thing" Let him bury himself, and he did.

  • @SoundsBogus
    @SoundsBogus Před 8 měsíci +4

    Narcissists have no respect for anyone in a position to judge them, ie, therapists, psychiatrists, bosses, judges or anyone in authority who can tell them what to do. They're afraid of those people but moreover, despise the power they have.

  • @justme-cr2zc
    @justme-cr2zc Před 8 měsíci +3

    😂 my favorite ever "...we can't prosecute someone for being an asshole"

  • @matt3024
    @matt3024 Před 8 měsíci +14

    A very timely subject considering all the recent and comical Trump trials!

    • @lillianbarker4292
      @lillianbarker4292 Před 8 měsíci +6

      Yes, the only positive thing Trump has done is educate us about narcissism-and also some legislative loopholes we need to close. 😊

  • @BryanFerra
    @BryanFerra Před 8 dny

    I couldn’t be more thankful. I watched this video maybe 3 times in the past month. I had my court date today. My child’s mother acted EXACTLY how you described she would. I did exactly like you said and kept cool and never tried to explain anything. Just answer the questions.
    It works ladies and gents!!

  • @judgefudge1231
    @judgefudge1231 Před 8 měsíci +5

    I have a psychopathic (or at very least, highly malignant) father, and I remember how my mom's divorce lawyer literally wouldn't believe the things she'd say about him, she first told my mother 'And what exactly am I supposed to do here?'....that was until she met him in court - and saw firsthand how he just made things up out of thin air such as my mother constantly taking money from their shared bank account (that never existed, bc my mom doesn't do shared bank accounts out of principle) and the most ludicrous things that sure worked well among colleagues to start smear campaigns, but not when everything you say will be investigated for proof.

  • @bywayofvirginia
    @bywayofvirginia Před 5 měsíci +1

    Trying to get a protective order is a whole new lesson l have to learn now

  • @jokendrick2124
    @jokendrick2124 Před 8 měsíci +11

    My late husband was a raging malignant narcissist attorney who said things like I can get you committed or held on a 72 hour hold. Its easy. Or I know of a few ways to kill someone and get away with it, like drowning. You get the picture. Needless to say I never stood near the edge of a cliff with him.

    • @yvettedavis7799
      @yvettedavis7799 Před 8 měsíci +4

      I love that he's your late husband! Yikes! You are also a survivor!!

    • @jokendrick2124
      @jokendrick2124 Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@yvettedavis7799 Sadly I knew the universe was looking out for me. A reward as it were for enduring.

  • @Cammi-Cat-XIII
    @Cammi-Cat-XIII Před 8 měsíci +7

    One of my narcissistic exes falsely accused me of sexual assault, harassment, and “stalking,” despite the fact that we lived together. The judge was obviously biased against males to have signed off on the ex parte, but once we got to court I didn’t even have to present my evidence of all our text messages. Because the judge caught her contradicting herself, then rolled his eyes at her when she brought up Facebook. (And she had altered the messages from the original to lie about me!) The judge threw out the case and then my narcissistic ex cried because she didn’t get her way.

  • @justhere5881
    @justhere5881 Před 5 měsíci +1

    The thing is that I imagine the narcisist husband in my life behaving in a very excellent, polite, calm and even sensitive in front of a court, just like when he behaves like a fantastique person outside in front of people he wants to impress. He is very very good at that. An authentic actor

  • @rms539
    @rms539 Před 8 měsíci +3

    My ex almost went to trial due to his show of victimization. After 2 years of He only wanted to be a good father, he took his son fishing last year. Him and his attorney tried some tactics that backfired on them both. Judge sided with me

  • @dianesoteras2954
    @dianesoteras2954 Před 8 měsíci +10

    Interestingly, my narcopath husband is the MOST SELF CONTROLLED, calm, cool cat anyone will ever see. He will suck it up when he has to and does completely fly under the radar and dance on the line of the law. He is cunning and terrifying !!!! I don't live with him for the past 3 years

  • @superwoman7397
    @superwoman7397 Před 2 měsíci

    Ahhhh.. that made me so happy and content. Thankfully, I figured early on that he did exhibit a lot of narcissistic traits. When he smeared me, I was pretty sure but more concerned. As he wouldn't leave me alone, I began gathering proofs against him. And my my, oh my..! I have a treasure of satisfaction against him. I've filed a case against him and can't wait to go to court! The best part, he knows what I have against him and just to make sure of my safety, I told him that the cops already have everything they need against him! I couldn't hire a private detective, so I became one. All praise be to God!

  • @user-um9sl1kj6u
    @user-um9sl1kj6u Před 8 měsíci +1

    The sooner I can see the evidence, as sooner I can actually deal with it in court
    Never negotiate with a narcissist

  • @karenparker1706
    @karenparker1706 Před 8 měsíci +4

    enjoyed the video and loved the comment that you can’t prosecute them for being an asshole… Thank you

  • @sarahmcguire11
    @sarahmcguire11 Před 8 měsíci +4

    I took brother to court for his abuse to me he's very narissant and crewl he feels he's above everyone. I am not here to be abused by him .or anyone else. Sunny 😎

  • @clarencemadjoe3599
    @clarencemadjoe3599 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Can't wait to read Dr Ramani's book!

  • @dianegriffen2756
    @dianegriffen2756 Před 8 měsíci +4

    This is very well timed. Thank you for the insight and advice xx

  • @CatGurinsky-K3NPO
    @CatGurinsky-K3NPO Před 8 měsíci

    This has been the biggest / best piece of advice I've gotten in the whole process... the one where you don't respond at all, or respond extremely limited. They really can't handle that. To respond to their accusations and threats only brings you to their level. They will be their own downfall when left to their own devices.

  • @moniquejackson7741
    @moniquejackson7741 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Brilliant and Fascinating. The more places we can identify and understand this behavior, the better. You so Rock, Dr. Ramani!

  • @superguineapig1234
    @superguineapig1234 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Dr Ramani, I will buy your book in a heartbeat❤ you are amazing ❤

  • @lyndiamims898
    @lyndiamims898 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Set up/ so I thought in court...
    It didn't happen to me it happened for me....(. I know it was you GOD )
    Behavior wise it helped me, that Narcissist was floored and that Judge was amazing..... GLORY 🙏🏾🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @daily977
    @daily977 Před 8 měsíci +1

    DR R 5 years you have been there for ME. Thank you book on order. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I owe you my life! 😊Penne

  • @nopereradicator
    @nopereradicator Před 8 měsíci +3

    Tantrums may not work in courtrooms but lies sure do.

  • @shinykazzadragon
    @shinykazzadragon Před 8 měsíci +8

    In our city, a group of hundreds former students of a church and school associated with the church, have brought a class action lawsuit against the church and school.
    The charges include assault, assault with a weapon, and sexual assault - committed by everyone from the narcissistic head pastor (who has returned to Texas, and is evading legal service), to a local narcissistic city councillor, to former "teachers" (who were not certified by the local school board), Sunday school teachers, and more staff.
    There have been, to this point, four former staff (narcissists) charged with criminal activity, and we have spent most of the year in court.
    The narcissistic ones are the most religious and defiant.
    One former gym teacher has pled guilty in an agreement, and is due to be sentenced for his crimes (he sexually abused a young woman - then a child, and called it an affair) in January 2024. He's contesting his sentencing, because - of course it's the young woman's fault. Plus, he says he admitted his guilt, so he should have special treatment - lesser sentence.
    Another criminal defendant is wanting to "come to an agreement," but the male charged alongside of him is so arrogant and abusive, that there has already been at least 3 adjournments due to the disagreement. We (I am a parent of some of the former students) are going back to court this week for the arrogant male - who pled "absolutely not guilty, your honour" to the sole charge - demanding a trial by judge alone (he appeared in court with his wife, and two other males. He was dressed like a fashion plate, while his wife - who had to sit behind him - flanked by the two males, was dressed plainly - almost frumpy. She had no style at all, and was not allowed to speak to her husband, who was on his chair - sitting like he was on a throne - in front of her. She was silenced (non-verbally) by a man sitting to her right.
    The fourth male (extremely narcissistic) is the one who did the most damage to my own family. He is so arrogant, that he didn't even show up to be fingerprinted, and the police - after a warrant was issued - hunted him down at his home, to fingerprint him.
    He has pled "definitely not guilty - I did not do the things I am being accused of" through his lawyer, on a phone call. He has never appeared in court. His lawyer has called in to court on his behalf.
    He also appears to feature prominently in the "parent's rights" demonstrations, in media photographs, that took away basic human rights from trans children in our province. The things he, and his now deceased wife, did to me and my children are heinous. Those abuses were 34-35 years ago, and it has taken our family until today to finally start to get resolution.
    Our legal system is seemingly indifferent to religious abuses, and our "justice system" isn't just. It has taken decades of complaints being made for anything to be taken seriously. I, myself, made police complaints back in 1991, and spoke with reporters about the things we escaped from back then, too. But, the police didn't seem to want to do anything about what was alleged - or, there "wasn't enough evidence."
    Or something.
    If you want to learn more about what has happened, there is a Spotify podcast called, "The Legacy Of Abuse Podcast."
    Links are provided in the "about" part of the podcast, to the class action suit, and other things.
    These narcissists have abused in the name of their chosen religion.
    I divorced my (then) husband, because he was so abusive, after swallowing the beliefs and teachings, seven years after marrying him. As a narcissistic abuser, he continued to abuse for decades, and currently listens to your CZcams videos - claiming he is "learning how to not abuse." (But, we all know how that works.)
    Our story is extreme, and we have been so damaged by what has happened - because of narcissistic abusers.
    But, it is more common than people know.
    And, religion hides a LOT of such stuff.
    Narcissists will also use the legal system to hurt their targets. We know that. And, it happened to me when I divorced my ex.
    Sorry for the long comment. I wish people could actually see and understand what narcissists do.

    • @clairejones624
      @clairejones624 Před 8 měsíci +1

      No need to apologise about the length of the comment. It’s open and honest to your experiences. I do hope you’re on the right path to healing…You’re a brave survivor. Remember that.

    • @shinykazzadragon
      @shinykazzadragon Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@clairejones624 thank you for your kindness.

  • @sallyjaynes2433
    @sallyjaynes2433 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Yep, * Just under the radar *, thanks on that feedback -- Covertism at-large. ✌️☮️

  • @spartacusjonesmusic
    @spartacusjonesmusic Před 8 měsíci +1

    Great video for us right at this moment.
    You got all down to a science!
    I sure wish we could get you to come out of "retirement" to help us combat the malignant narcissist we're dealing with in court.

  • @evelynpeavy
    @evelynpeavy Před 8 měsíci +3

    Thank you for acknowledging what we’re all seeing on the news every night about our former President. I hope by acknowledging his condition, maybe some who love him will finally see the light.

    • @cyny6305
      @cyny6305 Před 8 měsíci

      By his condition do you mean narcissism or just plain evil? What he and his father and family did to his uncle is so horrendous.

    • @cathyburnside
      @cathyburnside Před měsícem

      He’s the only president that hasn’t gone to war and killed millions of civilians for financial gain and resources .. I’m not saying he’s not a narc , I can’t comment on that as I’ve not felt with him directly but remember the corporations running the show including media are narcisstic… if the media are saying someone is bad they are usually good... Clinton, bush, Obama etc are all extremely psychopathic and narcissistic by their behaviours and connections to the WEF and Trilateral commission .. dont be deceived by the wolf in sheep’s clothing
      Everyone in the world were under serious cohersion narc abuse tactics when it came to cvid and jabs.. the cohersion, smear campaigns , manipulation etc were so apparent to those of us that have studied narc abuse.
      Their aim… divide and conquer

  • @jessicagresser569
    @jessicagresser569 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Lmao I love that we all know who she's talking about 😂 thank you Doc!

  • @bobspamail
    @bobspamail Před 8 měsíci +6

    This is exactly what happened in my divorce court. I stayed calm and quiet and my acted out.

    • @lynylcullen8370
      @lynylcullen8370 Před 8 měsíci

      Same! It was amazing to have the judge be so appalled by his smirking, contempt and general inability to follow the basic seriousness of the proceedings!

    • @clogs4956
      @clogs4956 Před 8 měsíci

      My Narc announced that he’d never permit me to divorce him. He said his lies would be believed and, yes, he smirked. I wish I’d tested that out…

  • @kathrynsheartland
    @kathrynsheartland Před 8 měsíci

    I think we all know who you're referencing as of late.
    You summed it up perfectly.

  • @bettyveronica9880
    @bettyveronica9880 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Oh boy is this video timely! 🤭When that person cannot stay on the subject of what the judge asks them (and they just delay, delay, deflect, etc.) then they play the victim card while trying to put on a “strong” demeanor. 🙄

  • @MsTosha1111
    @MsTosha1111 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Can't wait to buy your book ❤

  • @lisawebb1685
    @lisawebb1685 Před 8 měsíci +1

    This is the most timely video yet. I have a court date again tomorrow 🙄 this was such a needed motivational video! Thank you!

  • @azeraseer102
    @azeraseer102 Před 8 měsíci

    Congrats on your new book!

  • @marcbpsychology
    @marcbpsychology Před 8 měsíci +2

    I took a narcissist to court last year; it was shocking how unprepared he was...he didn't directly answer a single question, everything he said was either word salad or telling her what a horrible person I was

    • @EMVelez
      @EMVelez Před měsícem

      Yep. This is how they lose. They are too arrogant to actually be prepared with facts. All they bring into a courtroom is their feelings and entitlement.

  • @tiagozortea
    @tiagozortea Před 6 měsíci +1

    My narcissistic mom had a messy divorce. She asked my advice, her plan was literally to guiltrip the judge, I told her that was a terrible idea, she hated me for it. Then in court she kept writing strongly worded letters to the judge full of caps lock insults with a mix of guilttip and female (women are always right) entitlement. She didn't comply to even the most basic requests from the judge. In his sentence, the judge said she left him no choice but to side with my dad in every aspect of the divorce, she had to pay even for his lawyers.
    As soon as she was in an environment where people care about accountability, she fell apart as hard as it is possible to do so.

  • @lms1068
    @lms1068 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Narc cousin took his ex to court in another country for full custody of their children. He lost. It was everyone elses fault. Not his, the financial abusive, physically and emotionally abusive narsacist that was at fault. He wanted the children so he could give them to his narsacist mother to raise (cause she did such a stellar job already). He lost it and continues to pretend he wanted his children, when all he wanted was to punish his ex for leaving him.

  • @CharlotteWinslow
    @CharlotteWinslow Před 8 měsíci

    Wow… to a T.
    Thank-You Dr. Ramani, you’re incredibly educational.

  • @darleneschreiber9415
    @darleneschreiber9415 Před 8 měsíci +4

    One of the narcs in my life took her "baby-daddy" to court. He was/is a VERY GOOD father, but a "new" guy came on the scene, so she wanted the "old" guy out of her life. So she lied like a rug! When he returned the favor and took HER to court, her MO was to cry, dramatically, and constantly, so the court proceedings never got anywhere. It was pathetic.

  • @karenwinstanley7939
    @karenwinstanley7939 Před 5 měsíci

    Can’t wait to receive this book next week 🙏🦋❤️x

  • @amybostic1439
    @amybostic1439 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Yep- my current life. Court makes him pissed 😂

  • @Sharla55h
    @Sharla55h Před 8 měsíci

    I wish I found Dr.Ramani a few years back. Her insight has been so freeing and I thank God. I’m still dealing with a narcissist but I’m learning to step out of the dance. I don’t feed the ego…..

  • @cynthiagarrison5082
    @cynthiagarrison5082 Před 8 měsíci

    My husband is SUPER SMART. I've seen him when he went for custody of his son. Who you're describing sounds like his Ex Wife to a tee.

  • @sandrakippert9470
    @sandrakippert9470 Před 8 měsíci

    Just so you know a CZcams commercial cut off your plug for your book at end of the video. Another spot on video, thank you and God bless.

  • @Jasonronsteinberger
    @Jasonronsteinberger Před 8 měsíci

    Im really finding a lot of healing in your videos, even if i never talk to Harvey again, thank you.

  • @Sam-pl3yd
    @Sam-pl3yd Před 8 měsíci

    Dr Ramani 🙏 yes they don’t like to be told what to do and loose control with the truth 👏❤️❤️❤️

  • @Myfreddiemac
    @Myfreddiemac Před 8 měsíci +1

    This explained exactly what it was like to be in court with the narc of my life. He but he could lie without conscience. He made the judge upset by disrespecting her. And interrupting her.
    I did not know how to deal with it all, and the judge just assumed he and I had a disagreement. It became exhausting to try to keep up with the lies, The judge just got fed up.

  • @oceanwoods
    @oceanwoods Před 8 měsíci +4

    Narcissists think they are on stage, in a courtroom, and really let it fly.
    The judges usually let them show themselves.

  • @lindavincent678
    @lindavincent678 Před 3 měsíci

    Oh, he was all relaxed in court. He had his lawyer sit next to him, but I was told I didn’t need one.

  • @karenparker1706
    @karenparker1706 Před 8 měsíci +28

    could you possibly do a video about estrangement from narcissistic children since the holidays are coming up?
    I am in this situation and I’m finding it very hard to deal with and I’m sure there are a lot of other people out there dealing with this as well… I very much enjoy your videos, and they are very informative

    • @janeloraine6231
      @janeloraine6231 Před 8 měsíci +6

      I am in that situation as well. My son is the carbon copy of his N father, he even uses the same insults and tone. And just like the Narcissistic marriage relationship, I keep hoping my son changes back into a kind and loving person that I used to know.😢

    • @HighCoupDeTat
      @HighCoupDeTat Před 8 měsíci +3

      Love is like a fart if its forced itll probably be crap

    • @karenparker1706
      @karenparker1706 Před 8 měsíci

      @@janeloraine6231 I am in the exact same situation as you… My ex-husband is a narcissist and has groomed my son and unfortunately, my son is a replica of him… I pray every day that God opens my sons eyes so that he can see what is going on and that I want him to be a good person and lead a good life… This is a very hard thing to deal with

    • @erinward2983
      @erinward2983 Před 8 měsíci

      Please, no pressure to answer. I'm the daughter of a narcissistic father, and of divorced parents. I went no-contact in June. Is your husband narcissistic...and, were your children raised in separate households?

    • @thetrainwreck1469
      @thetrainwreck1469 Před 8 měsíci +6

      Mine are assholes, too. Sorry. Just do what you can to get through the holidays until that's finally over. It's so depressing. You cant change a narcissist. Not ever. Even if they are your own kids.

  • @ScottieBeanZ
    @ScottieBeanZ Před 8 měsíci

    You are queen Dr. Ramani ❤

  • @anonymousJDoe
    @anonymousJDoe Před 8 měsíci +1

    Where were you half a lifetime ago? I married a narcissist and had NO IDEA! (Didn't realize until i watched your videos last month).I was married 5 years, and it was hell! Once the abuse turned toward our children, I ran. It was a miracle we got away. The courtroom was the best grand finale! I was petrified no one would believe me, putting my 2 young children at risk. He never showed up, but his lawyer was there. The judge told me, "we don't need to hear from you." I was frozen in fear. My lawyer took my hand and said, "it's OK, come to my office and I'll explain." Turns out my X took the opportunity to write the judge and both lawyers. Horrid things about me and also threatening all three of them along with the police that interceded that night. I got sole custody and a permanent restraining order. Spent a lot of time watching over our shoulders, but I'm so thankful for that miracle!!!

  • @afanofthem2734
    @afanofthem2734 Před 8 měsíci

    I read the title and said "oh this is going to be helpful for my mom"

  • @georgirancour198
    @georgirancour198 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Ha. Been thinking about that a lot lately for some newsy reason. And my ex also did it all.My ankles actually got sore from me and my lawyer kicking each other under the table. Loved finally having all these people on my side (including a few with holsters on their hips).I paid for it in the settlement to avoid an actual trial, but worth it.