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She/ he story experience- people need to show sensitivity , listen respect whats known . Some individuals are more affected by peoples opinion . Can one break that loop conditioning oneself not to care . When I heard someone say the wrong thing I stay distance not interested engaging.. It works for me the less I interact with others. I feel light my mind not tangled up ; Is not playing in my mind the talk that goes on.

Fear...i lived in my house for 6 months... knowing i was leaving... To stay away from the narcissist

Yes I knew that they were gas lighting me....and he's a idiot.He told me I belong in the funny farm...he's not my father...he sad drunk...smokes weed daily.Nit my friend it's weirdos

Thanks!

Really you are just phenomenal and I never had any idea what I was dealing with until I started watching you and Mel Robbins. Thank you both again.❤

Thank you for all of the education you are sharing! 100% spot on. I have to respond asap. He will. It respond. But when he needs a response…. He sends “hello?” Texts?

The comment about using adhd as an excuse doesn’t make sense to me and has not been a theme in any relationships I’ve had with narcissists. Sometimes those with adhd or autism can get confused with narcissistic traits except there is a big difference in what’s going on internally. I wish you would have clarified that. My concern is that people who are neurodivergent and don’t have narcissism will continue to be misunderstood and blamed by someone who watches this that doesn’t know the difference.

Where to get help what narc is harassing you? It’s a real question! Not a joke!

I was honestly considering reaching out to the ex-wife after my relationship with her ex-husband just to get clarity but now I’m thinking it’s not even worth it. She already knows and I already know.

Sorry you have to face criticism for your work because you have saved so many lives and you are a leader...of course people target you because you are an innovator and ahead of the game!!

Dr Ramani you solved my problem...I have to live with it, but knowing now what to do because of you has been life saving..you are 100% correct.

This helped me a lot, thank you

Thanks, Dr. Ramani.. As always, you have given us a lot to work with.

Yes they do know what they are doing, but they don't see their behavior the same way normal people do. Normal people view manipulation as wrong. We believe it is wrong to lie, cheat, steal, etc. to get what you want, because we know that it's wrong to hurt someone else for selfish reasons. Narcissists, or people with narcissistic tendencies do not believe it is wrong to manipulate to get what they want. They believe it's wrong to not get what they want. They don't view selfishness as wrong, they view it as essential to success, and success to a narcissist is.... getting what they want lol. While it's really hard to believe that a narcissist's or narcissistic person's intention is not to hurt you, that is the truth. They are not intending to hurt you. They are intending to get what they want. And.. while it's also hard to believe that a narcissist or narcissistic person cares about you, they may actually very well care about you. It's just that they care more about getting what they want. What they don't care about is learning ways to get what they want without hurting, offending, or victimizing other people. Because that would entail they acknowledge that the way they are behaving is wrong, which would entail them to realize they could actually be wrong. It's a cycle with these people lol.

Your comment "I'm not alone " is more profound than you realize. Between watching you and a couple of other channels I finally get it and everyone's comments reflecting my experiences has made me feel normal and okay to just be me because I am not the problem. 🙈🙉🙊

This is beautiful .. ive just come out of the most traumatic relationship with a narssasist.. ive been physically and mentally sick.. .. this has helped mt tonight.. amazing❤

It doesn't make me feel crazy it's just exhausting listening to so much bullshit.

It’s been 9 months for me and I’ve been doing all of these things intuitively that you’re recommending. 3 more months doesn’t sound like enough time though, I want to keep healing

Social workers will judge narcissistic abuse danger by the professional success of the abusers. If the abuser is successful they are unlikely to see the person as a danger.

My (soon to be ex) therapist's favourite gaslighting phrase is: "Ah, you get too fixated in the past" anytime I tell her about something that happened that hurted me, including when she told me to "stop being melodramatic (paraphrasing)" the very night I got physically hurt by a relative in a vacation trip. In Japan. At 1-2a.m Funny stuff, haha :)

Dr. Ramani, are you going to address scapegoating and family mobbing at this event? I don’t know how I’m going to swing it, but I MUST go! I guess I’ll just leave it up to the universe to help me manifest this.

Reminds me of an in law that insisted I buy high and then after they got what they wanted they said I needed to buy replacement value insurance like nothing happened.

If a healthy person tries to test a possible new partner to see if this possible new partner tests positive for npd, is the other possibly healthy person wrong for protecting his/herself from what seems like a threat? Will the other's self-protective reaction be misunderstood as the manifestation of a toxic trait (avoidant tendencies or inability to make decisions by fear of failure, for examples)? Who's being emotionally abusive in this circumstance? Does it make sense to test people before a "red flag" has been noticed and maybe even talked about?

Let them and their crazy ways go there own way

I needed this today! Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani, for all that you do!🙏🏽

I am so sorry you are hurting 😢 Wish I could give you a hug 🤗 ❤

Oh , Ramani 😢

Dr. Ramani, you are saving my sanity to bit by bit😊 Thank you, thank you, thank you❤️

Thank you Dr. This video is amazing

Is anyone out there like me? I have Adrenal Insufficiency Syndrome (Addison's Disease) and I was diagnosed at 24 years old. I'm 42 and I'm still on HRT, and probably will be for the rest of my life. I grew up with a very narcissistic mother and an abusive family system. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more people like me out there.

I grew up this way..my mom would be screaming at me for somthing stupid, telling me what a piece of crap i was...and then the phone would ring....and she'd pick up and start talking in the sweetest tone....and shed talk about me in singing tones about how i was getting As and had a solo in band...anxious and confused is right!

They can be nice, but in my experience if the pet is in danger or old or infirm, the narcissist was not a reliable person to nurture or protect or care for a pet. When I was discarded for the final time, my narcissist partner discarded my dog with equal dismissiveness. It was heartbreaking to see.

It doesnt always go this way, sometimes theres no love bombing or discard at all.

I went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with my now deceased spouse. I wish I’d had that second car! He made us leave early. “It’s getting late”. I realize now it was because he was jealous of Bruce Springsteen! Good grief!!!

8:14 Thank You Dr Ramani 🙏🏼

My ex husband would go in the bedroom and shut the door whenever I played the piano (Mozart, Tchaikovsky). When I painted, he’d say I should be doing originals (which I did) - nice portraits. Anything to minimize me

Hello , let me introduce me.. ! Not Myself. There’s a difference as society has judgments! Even those who really want to be in my life until I’ll realize they had an untruthful agenda ! My challenge is not that I have trust issues.. I simply recognize behaviors I used to tolerate.. and now after all these years of doing More for others than myself. I did what I did there are no victims! It was from the heart ❤️ Now I have a better understanding of toxic relationships.. I’m just wish I knew this at 21 !!👍🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I truly love women .. they just seem To be an ALGEBRA PROBLEM 🤣 I just don’t get it !!

Hi Doctor Ramani, I observed most of your videos are centred around shaming a Narcist and what they do wrong. On behalf of people that exhibit these traits unconsciously, could you kindly make more videos on self help and solution to be a better person. Thank you

Love this f****** video... Food is good and life is short.... I work in one of the best French restaurants in one of the top five metropolis' in this country I appreciate your videos and your passion towards breaking down the complexity of being a survivor and healing The food you've enjoyed.... Looks good to me Dr. ❤

Wow! A real lightbulb moment for me! In high school I would make the honors list in the school newspaper for an A average or a B average. I’d show my mother and grandmother, who raised me, explain each time what it meant and all I ever got was a “hmmm” and maybe a nod. When I told my mother my boyfriend had proposed, again, just an “oh”😕

The fear is the core in the relationship with Narc.

This is the scariest thing Ive heard all day! But it's not surprising, my intuition has been telling me the same thing for years! Since my first child, my first miscarriage, there was no emotion whatsoever. I remember older relatives telling me it was meant to be, not compassion or helping me through the loss. Years later breast cancer. Same thing i had no support. I was scared half to death. This was after i spent days and nights at the hospital when my husband had heart surgery. I did everything I possibly could to help him through it and all the times he has been sick since for 30 years. Then one day i got accused of trying to interfer with taking over his health care this was out of the blue. ( he can't hear and always turns to me to repeat what his doctors are saying) I knew right there he would never take care of me if it was me. I talked to my daughters about it (they agreed). I got upset when he said that, I said fine buddy, you are on your own. Don't wake me up in the middle of the night to take you to the ER, call and ambulance or one of our daughters...after 52 years it really has broken me...

Love this for myself! Would be so cool if there was a pdf daily checklist of this. I should make one… better yet, I wish you could write a book on this video. I struggle with being self absorbed and know I’m on the narcissism spectrum but don’t want to be. I know there are so many out there just like me.

He was my first love , i believed all his lies till i realized i had lost myself in this relationship. No contact for one and half year , he cheated on me with a common friend potraying i was the problem. He got married also this year and i didn't even dated anybody after that . I felt safe and at peace in my own company. I don't know how i fell blindly in this may be i used to live in fantasy land since childhood, wanting to have one true love . I wish healing for each and every person , i may not know you believe me i know how unfair it feels. It's truly not you ,its them. ✨🤍

Absolutely. My narc ex was cheating for a long time with multiple men. She complained to me about them being obnoxious and entitled. It was hard to see someone who said they loved me, treat me so cruel. But it made it easier for me to disappear.

For me, "no contact" was dfficult at first but essential.

It's more than that.. what about the filth going behind people's back and manipulating and abusing loved ones trauma bonding persons that almost had a relationship from innocence

delusional??? it is called pre probate minded! they have done it so many times it is normal and they do not notice it, what they say , behave or do!

I ve always been kinda easy going, I tend to not to remember trivial things just important stuff. My ex always used to use this against me saying that I didn t remember what I d said or done. Even when I remembered perfectly well what it was. Thus made me doubt myself and ask myself, did I say that or did I do that? It was driving me crazy!! Eventually when thrpugh one of Dr Ramani s videos I found out what a narcissist was, and what gaslighting was, it all clicked. I started recording conversations..!!!Wow!! He went nuts!! He said why are you recording this stuff? Are you spying on me? I m going to start doing the same to you! ( Which he never did) Then I started catching him out on lies. His answer, they are only white lies, I didn t want to hurt you!! Two and a half years since no contact and I think back and ask myself, what the hell did I see in this guy? And being on my own is just great. Peace and tranquility and no big kid temper tantrums..

Dr Ramani, Your videos have opened my eyes and mind so much. Listening to you has helped me get my power back from everyone who has been taking it all these years 💯 I am in a much better place in my life now and it all started with the first time i watched one of your videos ❤ Thank you SO MUCH for putting this knowledge out for free and helping SOOOOOO many people like me. You are a saint 👏