FOMO - the fear of missing out: Bobby Mook at TEDxUNC
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- čas přidán 19. 03. 2014
- One of our student speakers, Chapel Hill native Bobby Mook, shared a current dysfunction in society called FOMO- The Fear of Missing Out. FOMO impedes us from achieving our goals as the question "Am I significant?" is the underlying disturbance. Bobby challenged us to reevaluate our reliance on technology and be content with living in the moment.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
The paradox with FOMO is that we ALWAYS miss out on something. You can do only one thing at a time and there's infinite number of other things you could be doing. My solution to FOMO is to make maximum of the current situation, because when you ignoring present moment you also miss out on that thing you ARE doing!
Your comment is so genuine yet underrated
that's so true
This is so true 😍
Thank you so much sir !!
Well said. Totally agree with you.
This topic is so current now more than ever.
True
it keeps getting worse
Now my government (UK) are planning on introducing Covid vaccine passports so you can go clubbing and go to social situations. Problem is, the vaccine is making its way down the age groups starting with the elderly. I think by the time lockdown ends the vaccine wont have made it to 20 year olds or the demand will make it hard for you to get it. That means so many young people are gonna miss out on the clubs and social situations which they need since the country is in an epidemic of depression and suicide, mostly in 20 year olds. The point of our lockdown restrictions were to protect the elderly so what elderly people are gonna go to clubs and the vulnerable should proceed at their own risk and young people have given up so much because of that. So yeah FOMO is gonna be really gut punching when that time comes.
@@Ysername i have it with social media feed, i feel like i'm gonna miss out on something important that eveeybody else have heard of but me
Cuz of crypto lol
My fomo starts when i open social media and there are posts and stories of people i know who are enjoying their lives and I am sitting at home procrastinating on my work. I can't even go outside because my parents don't allow and i don't have friends . Fomo is literally being jealous that i also need that life and being totally helpless about that feeling.
'Fomo is literally being jealous that i also need that life and being totally helpless about that feeling."
You have explained it so accurately.
How old are you so your parent don't allow?
I get physically sick when i get excluded,
i cant help it damn even if its not so important :(
i feel you
That's so me!
It takes self awareness and being able to think outside of your emotions. The human brain is paradoxical in the fact that we must outwit our own minds. The pit is there and it wants to swallow you whole, all it takes is to not step into it.
i feel u..
U are a 🐑
I've been in a state of fomo so much lately. Turning 24 has made me really want to enjoy my youth before it is too late but I'm stuck in med school and a lot of my friends have already graduated so I have no one to do anything with. So I sit in my room and scroll through Instagram and observe everyone else enjoying their lives... So here I am watching this video lol
@HOPESHI hahaha sweet. Atleast we are not alone. I guess we can experience the joy of fomo together then.... T_T
"Nobody posts videos of them crying in the library 'til 2AM" really helped me.
They're trying to hide those moments so that you can feel a huge wave of FOMO. Not today haha
Hoi I'm in med school too and have been in an unproductive funk lately. This comment makes me feel a little more reassured. Thanks!
yeah no this made me not want to do medicine 💀💀💀
@@another20sth omg hey you're in med school? can we talk i need some advice😭
FOMO usually strikes us harder when we miss out on leisure than on work. We have to consider the opportunity cost of each situation and act accordingly.
Opportunity cost of situations …… More detail please. Very Interesting.
@@sagemaster3408 it means what you are giving up if you are missing a situation. For example, if i miss a party by staying home and studying well, i might miss some fun which my friends had.
But if i go to that party, i am giving up one or prolly 2 days of work which can later cost me a test, a grade or even a job opportunity!
And at that moment, all the moments when you could have worked hard come rushing back to you and all you can think of is "why didnt i stay back home/work harder"
I'm probably one of the laziest people alive today, but this comment actually gave me huge insight and motivation right now.
I love how you wrote it, because it truly makes 100% sense, me being "lazy" or not.
I feel a lot better choosing my activities now! 🙂
Thanks so much! 💙
If you have FOMO ask yourself: Will I care about this a week from now? Do I really want to be apart of whatever that thing is? If so, Why? How will this enrich my life? If so, how will it? Is it really that important? If so, why haven't you thought about it before? FOMO I found comes from having many interests. Which is a good thing. It makes you a more interesting individual. But understand the difference between what interests you and what fascinates you. Chances are you are already doing what fascinates you.
very well said:)
Sophia Colombo search up “FOMO oratorical speech” to find an amazing speech :D
VERY WELL SAID I WANT TO SAVE THIS!!!!
Except the thing I’m missing out on checks all those boxes
THANK YOUUUUUUU
This man described the scenario I’m in right now on spot.
Me too,
He just described stuff and gave no better solution or help…
@@aplila did you miss the part where he gave us some strategies on how to lessen how fomo forms?
It's so good that FOMO is an ubiquitous part of human experience because it makes me feel that I'm not alone with these feelings.
Misery loves company. You go with that feeling.
I had to watch this video because of FOMO :P
And I refuse to turn off notifications because of FOMO
Lol... Hope you do better
Lol
I’ve felt so sick this whole night cos my friends are out and I wanna be there. like I can’t sleep it sucks.
For everyone who's reading this: You're great however you are. And if you feel like you are not appreciated well enough, your time will come. Remember, every feeling that you are going through will eventually go away. The good but most importantly the bad as well. I wish you the best and have a GREAT day. Because today is the perfect day for a perfect day...
That carpet looks like a flat, raw hamburger patty.
Haha
This comment made my day! Lmfao!! XD
accurate af
😂😂😂
I don’t know why but the period makes this comment funnier
I'm experiencing this rn cause of my studies, I have a really important exam coming up,missing out on events and parties while I see my friends posting all over the social media, but then I remember it's the choice I have made for myself so that I don't regret later on asking myself how hard I could've worked, that statement "what I could've done" I don't want it, I'll do what's needed to be done, I'll give my 100% on what I'm doing rn and enjoy it later
"Understand your fear of missing out and do what makes u happy "😊 I'll live by this quote for the rest of my life
I dealt with a lot of loneliness and it seems that that is connected to FOMO, I just feel like I am missing out on a conversation, lets say, in a group chat because I am not on the phone, and those are rare and I enjoy them, so I am constantly checking my phone or even trying to spark a conversation. It feels sad when no one responds or seems like no one has that same desire to share a conversation. I wonder sometimes do my friends have other friends that they are talking or do they not even talk as much I do and I am just making too much out of it? Life is crazy
FOMO for me is usually on a larger scale. As in, I want to be great at all my hobbies, live in lots of different countries, learn multiple languages, keep up with various friendships… I’m not really afraid of missing out on specific moments with people, but rather of not living my life to the fullest. So yes, I like your point about how FOMO pushes us to live and love better. It’s been very effective for me, especially as I’m seeming how life comes in phases. There are already things I planned on doing but lost the chance while I was in that phase… However, balance here is also important. Lately I’ve felt anxious because I’m trying to do too many things and haven’t taken enough time to rest and quiet down my mind. I’m at the point where I think I’ll have to decide what to drop or pull back from, and accept the fact that I will miss out and that’s okay. I need a bit more quality and room to breathe, and less quantity.
You explained my situation perfectly 🥺
This is exactly how I'm feeling and I suppose wanted more insight on when i googled FOMO...
In many ways, I wish to let go and not care about all these things not happening. But on the other hand - then what's the point? Aren't all those things what makes us? What we do, want to think about and work on?
I'm quite unsure how to tackle this, but I believe BALANCE might be the key. Trying to finetune the balance between letting go and chasing in order to make me the most happy will be my greatest goal the rest of my life...
I suppose I hope that some people can help with their inputs on what they think is the key - or whatever it is?
@@villadseskesen Remember that the key isn’t to not care at all or completely ignore the FOMO. (Now if it’s related to things that you know can’t ever happen, then yes it’s probably best not to dwell on them.) But sometimes FOMO is a relevant call to action. As you said, balance is important. You could pick a couple things to focus on at a time so that you don’t get overwhelmed with wanting so much. Because when our focus is too broad, I think we often end up either doing nothing, or not enjoying where we’re at because we constantly think of being somewhere else.
I don’t know your exact situation so it may not be relevant, but maybe look into the book Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. It actually changed my life back when I read it
@@sallyreid151 yess thank you! The not enjoying what you are doing currently because you are always thinking of the next thing to do or achieve makes so much sense.
I'll 100% look into that book, thank you
Thank you. This speech made me appreciate this feeling and inspired to explore life rather than feel like it’s my enemy.
My fomo is to follow every single thought that pop up to know about everything it's kind of perfectionism to be aware of everything and be present everywhere not missing out on single event
I can't hardly relate to this at all. For me, I understand FOMO as sitting alone at a park, watching multiple happy families play games and laugh with each other. I see the joy of happy parents with happy kids, and young lovers playing the awkward game of romance... and I sit alone, wishing I had more intimate relationships. Wishing I had my own family, really.
Who’s gonna help me carry the boat?
Who tf says "I can't hardly relate" like bruh just say "I can relate"
@@Thonck- when teacher says the minimum word limit is 200 words.
For me, it's like a party happening inside a house or building. And then there's me outside the party. There may be a moment when the blinds to a window opens, and I can look in. Briefly, it's nice. But it quickly becomes something that further emphasizes my loneliness.
Good bye forever
The book "30 Days to Overcome Fear of Missing Out" by Harper Daniels is a helpful
Thank you, I will try that 🙂
I always feel FOMO when its the end of the year. All people post their favourite pictures and videos of the year i i just feel like i have been stuck..not living my life to the fullest when in reality when i would stop making myself feel bad about anything i would see that i lived my life.
Addressing the problem is one part. The way he presented it and concluded it is another. Almost broke into tears at the end for the way he concluded it.
FOMO hits harder when you are a perfectionist. The fear of not having the control of your time, seeing the perfect life you want to construct. Having tons of skills, places and hobbies you want to try out. Fear of not having enough time.
My FOMO is more to do with the future and what significant events I’ll miss after I die, it really makes me feel down.
I never thought of this until now... .. NOW I HAVE FUTURE FOMO TOO 😭
@@sarahdel9518 Hahahah. I am laughing but I feel exactly the same. Plus tonight I missed my high school reunion and seeing all the pictures killed me. Dead.
same
'As soon as you press the egrettable finger to the play button'
'key to being happy are connection and accomplishment'
'the fear of missing out compels us to love better...live more'
My notes:)
Excellent speech! I was engaged throuhout the whole presentation.
I disagree. The way he explains it is the fear of the chance of missing out, every time you go onto social media, there’s a chance that there will be nothing there that triggers your FOMO. And there’s a chance that there will be something there. The real fear is knowing that you’re being left out and not being able to do anything about it. The fear of being helpless, the fear of thinking that people have forgotten about you. That’s the real fear. Not any of this social media stuff
you just said the same thing he did
He literally says that the social media is just a medium for FOMO
THANK you, sawce!
They will forget because they dont care thats the reality
My gf and I are doing long distance. She’s currently going to college. I’ve yet to tell her, but I’ve had a lot of FOMO these last few days. I know I should tell her, but she’s literally moving away from her family for the first time. It feels kinda selfish compared to the struggles she’s having right now. I will maybe bring it up to her later, because I feel bad for hiding this from her. But she’s got so much on her plate. I don’t want to add more to it.
The solution is to do your own thing.
I have a colossal case of Fomo. I mean every single little decision requires atleast 5 minutes of thought. My mother always says, which one would you feel guilty for not doing? If you say "Im gonna do it" and your heart sinks, that's probably not what you should do. Ofcourse, it's still difficult and has way more layers, but that helps with narrowing it down. If it's something you could do anytime or more often, do the other thing.
I've found that my Fomo I most likely connected to my parents divorcing. Always having to choose rather I should go or just stay at home
It sucks, but there's always a way to take the edge off and either way you gotta make a decision
I was the youngest by ten years with both parents full time in their jobs, so I can remember feeling this as long as I can remember.
I remember being tired one night as a young child and declining to go to dinner with my mom and sister; I stared at a wall for several minutes and started crying, imagining that they were having a great time while I was home by myself (my dad was asleep)
What’s crazy is that my conscious mind is aware of how ridiculous things like that are, but in those moments I get genuinely heartbroken. It’s terrible because it doesn’t make sense to me.
I realize dogs feel this way as well. Your dog stays at home unable to go with their pack.
Very wise words indeed.
Negative emotions are often a signal that something isn't quite right in your life. When you feel negative emotions, your goal shouldn't be to get rid of them or "overcome" them. Your goal should be to resolve the problem at the source.
having FOMO honestly sucks and it sucks out my enthusiasm for things I enjoy, just because I am not doing it with others. Though, then again I know my friends wouldn't enjoy it so I can't even invite them...
I love that line you said about committing to our present moment
His speech voice is like a ted talk parody I cant take him seriously -> Edit: I see that my comment was a bit rude. Im keeping it because what I wrote is what I felt but want to underline that I respect this person for going out and giving a public speech about something that I personally struggle with.
Excellent! GREAT speaker!
Thank you for this, hope we easily learn this
This comment section is differently knowledgable than the video itself. And I like this.
Great Video! That man can talk!
🥺❤️ thankyou for making my day a little better
me a college student, watching this at 10 pm on a Friday night in my pjs - 🧍🏽♀️
best thing iv heard in a long time
Is not fomo just a sense of lack? It seems it’s rooted in jealously, envy and looking outward for an inner approval. In short, it’s all trauma related.
Confront your trauma and find inner peace, fomo will evaporate.
Peace be with you! 🙏
This guy is too relatable
FOMO is not a problem for me on social or friendship setting unless it’s work related. It’s hard for me to balance work and personal life goals
Great talk!
Thank you so much ❤❤❤❤
solution is at 8:05
thanks!!
U r a genius! Thank you!
answers are always in the back :)
thank u bae
I still watched the whole vid... FOMO..
Thankyou for this
6:58 Those line punch me like a dart right into my existence...
Augusta Verbian search up FOMO oratorical speech and click first one of the girl; it’s sooooo good
This is exactly what I was gonna comment. You just translated my thoughts too.
Everyone knows what it is , give the solution
That was amazing!
imagine going through fomo AND handling a breakup with a party animal ........life is torture
I hope u're fine now
Literally me. I love doing stuff every once in awhile but with him he needed to be stimulated constantly and party or hang with friends like 5 days out of the week. Now through the breakup I can’t seem to break that fomo or feeling like I’m failing if I am not partying when I am just fine chilling at home
I should really stop procrastinating and stop watching CZcams videos.
Did u ever stop ?
I’ve only gotten worse
Best solution for FOMO in the first page of CZcams.
I got to admit: "Am I significant?" is a fear I have had, sometimes, but feels like an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT fear than the FOMO.
Those two feeling like entirely different, separate, independent fears to me.
Well, break down FOMO into 2 cases;
1. Fear of missing out experiencing things, other things people create
2. Fear of me missing out doing things for other people.
FOMO #2 can be construed as a fear of "Am I significant?"
But FOMO #1 does not have anything to do with how significant I think *I* am. FOMO #1 is just fear of missing out on fun things.
7:00 I wasn't ready for that...
before this video I got an ad that said "Don't risk missing out" and now I'm scared
Atleast I got to know what i am going through . Yes I do suffer from fomo but I'll make sure it leads me to something good. In the end I'll be someone better .
OH NO, the story he told legit is what is happening to me right now!!!
I didn't watch da vid but this voice is amazzing😪
It's good that I didn't MISS this video 😅
Contentment is the key to happiness. Oh and having lots of cool stuff.
_having lots of cool stuff doesn’t guarantee happiness. A lot of people have it all but they aren’t satisfied. Only Jesus can_
Hard to realise this video is 7 years old !! The things have only worsen !
Is anyone else watching this while experiencing fomo
That got really real at the end jeez
Opportunity cost vs cost benefit analysis
Cost benefit (includes intangible benefits such as mood)
Example: gov build a project and have to do a cost benefit analysis that include Inconvienece.
So for ppl with fomo... Do that
id love to travel & adventure but also have a fear of being on my own so being on my own is cause of fomo cos i want to be everywhwere with everybody so i dont have to be on my own
I also fear being alone at places not familiar to me.
This helped.
Greetings from a med school at Friday night who is alone at home after all his flatmates went to a big party.. No pain no gain
Even when I am watching this am suffering from FOMO. I feel like I need to check emails and lot of stuff.
This can also be applied to gaming, where those infected with FOMO will buy every new release, play it for a month, and completely abandon it.
You can look at FOMO from the perspective of personal resources allocation. I think I won't be too much off, if I say that every human action requires certain amount of resources to accomplish. Whether it's time, money, emotions, different material goods and items, it doesn't matter, what matters you spending resources to get whatever. And usually when you start feeling FOMO and fantasizing about missed opportunies in your head, you never consider resources that you would have to spend on the thing. You have a feeling that you are missing out on something that was given for free to everyone, expect you. In reality, though, everyone had to sacrifice certain amount of their limited resources to do/get the thing for which you've paid literally nothing.
One more thing. Someone in the comments already has mentioned opportunity costs. Similar to the above calculations of the resources required for making missed out opportunity a real thing, you don't appreciate what you gained due to not participating in the said activity and doing something else instead.
From the looks of it our brain tries to block all rational thinking, whenever we encounder a situation which can potentially cause FOMO feeling.
I’m having trouble with emails. There are so many emails and I want to clean my mailbox but I’m afraid I’ll delete something possibly useful but at the same time it’s so discouraging to open and read hundreds of emails just to make sure I’m not missing anything.
Watching this before high school graduation
FOMO problem made me come here in 2020
Speaker: facebook
Audience: RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
I have so many issues and I am glad this is not one.
Who cares if my friends are partying or partied without me? I guess some do.
had to do a surgery next week and was quarantining for 2 weeks now. I was invited to go to a couple parties and seeing their insta stories and everything it always looked so fun :( I feel so missed out
At least you were invited, imagine you watching to your friends insta stories at different halloween parties which you were not invited.I ask myself whats wrong with me
If I got a message from people at an obnoxiously loud and bright party, I'd think: "Thank god I'm not there, that sounds horrible."
Lame
Now with most companies using this effect for marketing their stuff with buzzwords like limited supply and “drip”, this is more relevant than ever.
I’m dealing with being missed out so I have too much fear I’m dealing with all of that it worries me now I feel like I’m a failure it’s scary I am afraid I’m going to lose what I was before i was so much passionate I’m scared of it scared that the people I had will find someone sweeter than me which i hope it won’t happen
Hey, you're not alone on that. I'm in my room all day, working out and studying. It makes you depressed. I'd suggest joining a boxing gym and become a regular at vibrant places near you. You'll gradually find yourself making conversation with people, thus eventful and awesome memories. The key to it is patience, though.
Fear of missing out is why so many people are in a tremendous amount of debt.
Fomo alone it what caused my relationship to fall apart. My ex had responsibilities like picking up the kids. Birthdays . Mom stuff . But any party or event came up she had to be there. To put out a name for her self. It's sad because she wants to be popular so bad. But she's almost 35
So I graduated high school and now I’m in college. I did band my two last years of hs and I miss it already. My bf is still there and I just feel like I’m missing out on band still. They’re playing at football games, going to competitions, and Idk. Even though I’ve graduated and done that, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not there anymore. I should be but I shouldn’t. Just thought I’d share my story.
1:10 I was watching this video in 10pm at FRIDAY night 😂😂😂 what a coincidence
damn meeee EXACTLY in my pjs on a friday night
is 9:15pm on a Friday night good enough?
Agree
I don't agree
@@jeppegjesing I don't agree with you not agreeing
@@frederikstougaard5649 I don't agree with you not agreeing, that i don't agree
@@frederikstougaard5649 I also don't agree
@@frederikstougaard5649 "to agree or not to agree, that is the question" - DaVinci
Woah
Over 31 million subscribers yeah only 100,000 Plus watched this. Says alot
All my friends, they all do everything without me
FOMO and my need for approval from society really f'ed my life up. I'm done with that.
Infinite respawns and the option to prestiege at a high level would be a cyborg solution, but if you don't know thats waiting for you, yea I guess people should load up on new memory creation by experiences while they're still accessable in your (only?) life
im having trouble with fomo with my church youth group doing things that i cant be apart of because of my age. im supposed to be in highschool but i was started late. so when the highschool does something that i miss out on i feel so left out anyone have any advice for me
Age is just a number..love your self first.
Focus on what are you good at..
Raise your value..
Don't expect some approval to anyone..
Idk if anyone would reply to me. Someone pls give me advice....all my best friends are going on a Disney Trip in May that I was suppose to go on, but my mom didn’t want me to go anymore because she felt it wasn’t safe. Now, that’s where my Fomo kicks in because for the past few weeks I’ve been crying because I can’t go and because I’ll be left out from all my friends. What scares me is that my friends don’t won’t want me around anymore because of how close they’ll all get in the trip. I’m scared they’ll forget me but idk what Will happen to me if they do leave.
Bianca Midoro bro me too 😪
hey I know its been two years but I would suggest that it's never the case of your friends are gonna forget you(it will most likely won't even cross their mind) it's more at the part that "'you'" are scared that they are going to forget you, all you can do is doing what you can do and commit 100% no matter the outcome then you will get to a point where you know what you want and how to achieve it .im sure FOMO will slowly fade away cause of it .i know what I said is trippy but just try to make sense of it.
Was chill til I got shanked with the “will I be remembered”
I was in my English class, my teacher showed me this, in order to keep me from eating chocolate
I might get one cell phone call a month and pretty well zero text messages. How? Easy, I don't hand out my number. The phone is there to serve me, to make an advance hotel reservation when I am on vacation or if I happen to have an emergency (ultra rare). I am not going to be a slave to it. And in the end, if you looked at all the text messages going back and forth, you'd laugh at the content.
Today on 🎃, I face my FOMO fear. Going to play Silent Hill and watch an Alien 🎥 😃
grounded on friday rn :(