Dear Mr Delay, firstly I just want to say that this is one of the best prison stories I have ever heard. You are a natural narrator and you have people riveted to you when you recount your stories. Congratulations on being free of your addictions and turning your life around. A lot of people look up to you and you motivate them in their struggle to be clean. Kudos to you Sir. I live in Wales 🏴 and I am a nana of 3 year old beautiful little girl. I’m 58 years of age. And I have a life limiting illness that has also caused heart failure. I have nurses attending to me at my home twice daily. I don’t really come across as someone who has subbed to your channel- but I most definitely have. Your channel is awesome. I learn something, and I also laugh till my ribs hurt at some of your funny stories. So you see, you are doing my health good by getting my dopamine flowing through laughter. And I thank you for that. Stay blessed and keep the videos coming. Best wishes to you and your family.👊🏻👍🏻🍺
Excellent use of "Aggressively". Personally I've always wondered about entertainment in Jail. I know options are limited but i bet we'd all be surprised.
In the prison were I work, they get tablets, they can buy TVs, CD players, there is a game room with 3 x boxs, music room with keyboard and drums. There is no shortage of entertainment.
Damn that was disgusting, but I laughed my ass off. You can tell a story man. Look at the bright side, when you were bent over, at least you didn't feel a hand on each shoulder. Peace man.
Bro, since I stumbled across your channel I can’t stop watching. Your stories are crazy, I spent 2 nights in county jail years back and that was enough for me to never do shit to get in trouble.
Heh that's NOTHING, just imagine those 2 or more days withdrawaling from IV heroin and Coke use for nearly 20 years... smh... and in one video he says the best people to make friends with in county intake are junkies, cuz I ALWAYS gave my trays away WHILE dope sick...
Right Steve? I picked up a misdemeanor a couple years ago and did 10 days in county before I could bail out and FUCK THAT. One misdemeanor was enough for me lol. I think I could make it in prison in terms of the danger and whatnot, but the depression and monotony would likely result in my suicide.
@@The_Bad_Guy56 I was in county for 5 days it passed my mind while everyone I knew wouldn’t answer the phone and bondsman wouldn’t work with me I’m not built for prison😂😂
Bro your personality is so badass, humble, funny, tough. One time in iraq i shit next to a bldg when 5 tanks rolled past with dudes sittng on the tank. After the first one i just said fuck it and started waving like it was a parade 😂😂 chow got me that day 😂😂😂
Man you seem like one of the coolest prison channels I found. I like how your tough but you also don't put on a front you're willing to admit shit this video had me fucking laughing so hard
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I can't imagine the torment your experiencing. Thank God you were there to pay your respects in person. As a former. Corrections officer I've seen first had what a mind fukk it is for a father not able to mourn the loss of their child while incarcerated. It can be open season if you show weakness. Sometimes if I see their struggle, I'd ask if they need to take a breather from general population. I must say, your life fukk ups, experiences and Recovery. Are what ALL WALKS OF LIFE NEED TO HEAR! Stay strong, my prayers for your CZcams channel reaches hundreds of thousands if not millions. Godspeed Bro
Brother I'm sitting here on a cleaning a completed frac sight at 1 in the morning. You've managed to turn a daul night into me tearing up and laughing with you. Brother I had to pause the video several times to wipe them oil sweaty tear's from my eyes 😂. Thanks the passion and emotion you have in your content. Much love and respect. Now I've to Johnny Cash, " Ring of Fire" 😂.
Bit of a tragic one here. I was about 2 years into my sentence and had a good thing going. welding work down in the old hangers (our prison was an old airbase), doing the odd job for the lads on the side, a cosy cell, and I was on a spur with some awesome dudes. (A spur is what we have here in the uk that consists of smaller wings, and an open area on the landing to chillout once it comes to bang up It was coming up to Christmas and the distilled hooch was being prepped for the rounds, one of the lads (I don't think I ever met him personally) had a visit and plugged a baggy full of E's ready for the Christmas fun. Unfortunatly, later that day the bag broke before he could get the chance to get it out and he ended up overdosing on the stuff. It wasn't pleasant and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Even more tragic, I was told his girlfriend was going to be charged with his death. The lad was well liked by those that matter, and my heart goes out to his family and even more so his Girlfriend as she had not only lost her significant other, but she herself was facing a lengthy term for his death. Prison life is cruel, and I wouldnt recommend that shit to anyone, unless you are a complete c*nt.
Big shout out from Scotland bro. I think you are a master story teller. That was hilarious 😂 bro. Take it that was the end of banking shit, pardon the pun.
JD sorry that happened to you dawg, but on the bright side. I laughed my ass off. The story, and the way you told it made my day. Laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Thanks for the laugh. Peace out and Godspeed.
Wow...just...wow 😆 had me rolling bro! It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the dumbest things done in the past, and should definitely be used as a cautionary tale
You had me laughing so hard i thought I was going poop, I've done some years myself here in California and you're pretty much spot on, keep it up bro, you brought a smile to this old cons face.
sorry for the suffer you had to go through, but you cheer me up with the way you tell your stories! much resect brother! when you tell this story it makes me think about the song stinkfist by tool!
HAHAHA ! Damn , I don't think I've laughed so hard in quite a long time ! Thinking of you in the bius on that long ride back to the facility just keeps me laughing... same with the doc's 1st examination. I also have a few of those incidents that are hilarious looking back, but were hell when they were happening, so I can empathize.
Fuck that was great!! I was laughing through the whole damned thing! I have been binge watching your videos and subscribed because you have such a twisted sense of humor, my kind of dude!! I hope life rewards you for all the things you are doing for your fellow man. Keep telling your stories, I love that shit!!
YES! I’ve been wanting to find the video telling this story. This was epic. We know better not to put green stuff in the hole. That was desperation and I respect that. You learned thought. A smart person learns from their mistake. Take note I said mistake, singular and not plural.
this man is a great storyteller the only problem I have with your stories is I know Im gonna be stuck watching them until the end almost all other content creators I can turn off you are truly gifted. thank you. your stories are funny and entertaining and most importantly gangster as f--- I look forward to watching your videos
This had me in tears laughing 🤣🤣 JD I have been watching your channel for a while now and honestly i like it. It's funny it's serious and everything in between. But it's all based on your own path in life from how you started out to how things are for you now. You tell it How it is. I hope you're life now gets better and better 🙏🏻
Funny as hell bro 💯 Best part is the conflict between being a gangster and being appreciative 🤣 It's like having an Angel and a demon on each shoulder 😂
Whenever I'd drive past a place and see guys on work crews I'd run by a convenience store then come back by a "accidentally " drop a couple of packs of cigarettes, some candy bars ,etc.
Loving your content brother,i had a massive break down just before Christmas last year i am an Alocholic have been sober the last 10 months still waiting for help from out side sources,its a good job i have had amazing support from family and friends people have been amazing.Keep going JD love your energy.
This sounded much more eloquent in my mind, but I'm having trouble getting my thoughts down, lol. I just hope it comes across with love and humor like it's supposed to! Thank you so much for sharing this as your truth, and not as 'SWIM's story. So many people try to have everyone's attention for story time, but in their re-telling the humor falls flat because it's about 'Someone Who Isn't Me', or This One Dude... Knowing the details between one finger or two, green or white mayo, and the actual amount of pain - these just add so much more to it all, and any embarrassment is just bonus when you're telling us loud & proud 😂 Love and Respect 😃
Brother Delay, I have not laughed so hard in my life. In one part of the post I choked on a tequila shot (ouch), rewound the video multiple times, and damn near pissed myself. I love your channel. Wish your merch carried my kids (they are of age) my old man, and my sizes.
Funny shit man😂. Brought back memories. Where I did 18 months it was 64 man dorms. Dude that would bring in tobacco we all called him Bobby Hill because he looked just like Hank Hills son. He got the plug stuck one day. Half the dorm sitting there jonesing for a cig all asking "Yo did Bobby shit that out yet?" Only in prison will You ever see 30 dudes waiting for 1 dude to shit so they can have a smoke😅
Oh J.D you had me at green mayonnaise 😂😂😂😂😂 You are funny as fuck so expressive with the way you tell your stories , man keep rolling those gems out because your awesome . ❤ and peace Kylie from Australia 🇦🇺
I died. Thanks for sharing. Btw I know this is important to say to someone who is in recovery, regardless of whether you know me. I'm proud of you. Keep it up brother.
I laughed way too hard, but i died a little inside with/for you. Genuinely a hilarious story. And that shit takes one hell of a big man to talk about the time he poisoned his pooper. 10/10 would not reccomend 😂 but would absolutely buy you a beer while fighting back a grin
“I dropped my pants, AGGRESSIVELY…”☠️🤣
Damn bro, no words 😂
That bird 🐦 head in buddy's ass got me laughing I can't stop so hilarious
It was seriously one of the greatest moments in prison history! 😂
@@JdDelay5150 Lol🤣
This has me laughing so hard, I woke my wife 🤣
@@JdDelay5150 he broke the one rule he should have brought half of the Bird head back
Dude I had to pause the video that s*** was so funny I've never done that before probably the funniest thing I've heard in a long time
I worked medical in the county- I feel like this should be showed to everyone during intake 😂😂😂
Before or after the PREA video? 😂
Definitely before the PREA video! 🤣😂🤣😂
He is full of shit. He only used his pocket once . If he did any time. That ol pocket has been used and abused.
cough please
W
“I’m a motherfuckin gangster, I wrote that kite as soon as possible” that quote had made my day
"don't use green mayonnaise" That is the single most intelligent thing I have ever heard anyone say on CZcams for ANY situation.
It’s good advice for life
Dear Mr Delay, firstly I just want to say that this is one of the best prison stories I have ever heard. You are a natural narrator and you have people riveted to you when you recount your stories.
Congratulations on being free of your addictions and turning your life around. A lot of people look up to you and you motivate them in their struggle to be clean. Kudos to you Sir.
I live in Wales 🏴 and I am a nana of 3 year old beautiful little girl. I’m 58 years of age. And I have a life limiting illness that has also caused heart failure. I have nurses attending to me at my home twice daily. I don’t really come across as someone who has subbed to your channel- but I most definitely have. Your channel is awesome. I learn something, and I also laugh till my ribs hurt at some of your funny stories. So you see, you are doing my health good by getting my dopamine flowing through laughter. And I thank you for that. Stay blessed and keep the videos coming. Best wishes to you and your family.👊🏻👍🏻🍺
I'm 59 year old Grandma from Canada and I subscribed too!😂❤
Dude your story telling is dope.this whole story had me laughing 🤣🤣
"Right, right, right!?"
It was at that point, I knew this was going to get even more entertaining than it already is lol...
Excellent use of "Aggressively".
Personally I've always wondered about entertainment in Jail. I know options are limited but i bet we'd all be surprised.
It’s making the best of the little things. 😂
The lil things 😢 lol
It's the small things that count right brother lol😅😂
Dude, I popped for that. 😅😅
In the prison were I work, they get tablets, they can buy TVs, CD players, there is a game room with 3 x boxs, music room with keyboard and drums. There is no shortage of entertainment.
Damn that was disgusting, but I laughed my ass off. You can tell a story man. Look at the bright side, when you were bent over, at least you didn't feel a hand on each shoulder. Peace man.
😂
Dude that had me in stitches😂😂😂😂 ".....dropped my pants aggressively"....😂
I did two tours In Afghanistan and two in Iraq. I’m not sure if I could endure that. You’re a true soldier dawg. 💯 %
"BECAUSE SOMETHING WAS INSIDE OF MY ASS" is pretty universal good excuse man lmao
I was listening to this at work thru my headphones. Got people looking at me funny because im randomly falling out laughing.
Man, you had me laughing. Felt guilty for laughing at your dilamia. But funny as hell. And the stool pigeon's bird's head surprise was 4 aces.
DAMMMM... hell no..!!..green mayo...😅😅😮😅😂 What a work out physicaly and mentally. Your a beast 💪
Bro, since I stumbled across your channel I can’t stop watching. Your stories are crazy, I spent 2 nights in county jail years back and that was enough for me to never do shit to get in trouble.
Heh that's NOTHING, just imagine those 2 or more days withdrawaling from IV heroin and Coke use for nearly 20 years... smh... and in one video he says the best people to make friends with in county intake are junkies, cuz I ALWAYS gave my trays away WHILE dope sick...
Right Steve? I picked up a misdemeanor a couple years ago and did 10 days in county before I could bail out and FUCK THAT. One misdemeanor was enough for me lol. I think I could make it in prison in terms of the danger and whatnot, but the depression and monotony would likely result in my suicide.
@@The_Bad_Guy56 I was in county for 5 days it passed my mind while everyone I knew wouldn’t answer the phone and bondsman wouldn’t work with me I’m not built for prison😂😂
@@ko0l-keithlol me too
I'm watching this and I cackled so loud I woke up my husband and my hound.😂😆
The balls you have putting this shit out, hats off.
'' i procrastinated, look at my last name- delay!'' that joke made me giggle lol
Just want to say, this episode was f@@king hilarious! You got a vets sense of humor!
The only man to truly experience childbirth
😂😂
I was holding back tears in class because of this shit, please never change
Bro your personality is so badass, humble, funny, tough. One time in iraq i shit next to a bldg when 5 tanks rolled past with dudes sittng on the tank. After the first one i just said fuck it and started waving like it was a parade 😂😂 chow got me that day 😂😂😂
❤😂😂
😅😂😂😂😢
Best prison prevention video to date. Hands down! I would pay to hear Dr. Seuss's take on this story. I will not Boof green mayo n smokes...
Man you seem like one of the coolest prison channels I found. I like how your tough but you also don't put on a front you're willing to admit shit this video had me fucking laughing so hard
any others you can recommend? I know they won't be as good but variety is the spice of life
“SOMETHING WAS WRONG INSIDE MY ASS!”
-shit still has me wheezing 🤣😭
You got the Irish gift of story telling bro . Man what a story
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I can't imagine the torment your experiencing. Thank God you were there to pay your respects in person. As a former. Corrections officer I've seen first had what a mind fukk it is for a father not able to mourn the loss of their child while incarcerated. It can be open season if you show weakness. Sometimes if I see their struggle, I'd ask if they need to take a breather from general population. I must say, your life fukk ups, experiences and Recovery. Are what ALL WALKS OF LIFE NEED TO HEAR! Stay strong, my prayers for your CZcams channel reaches hundreds of thousands if not millions. Godspeed Bro
I'm addicted to your channel. Love your energy, you handsome and most inspirational man! Don't ever change!
Brother I'm sitting here on a cleaning a completed frac sight at 1 in the morning. You've managed to turn a daul night into me tearing up and laughing with you. Brother I had to pause the video several times to wipe them oil sweaty tear's from my eyes 😂. Thanks the passion and emotion you have in your content. Much love and respect. Now I've to Johnny Cash, " Ring of Fire" 😂.
Bit of a tragic one here. I was about 2 years into my sentence and had a good thing going. welding work down in the old hangers (our prison was an old airbase), doing the odd job for the lads on the side, a cosy cell, and I was on a spur with some awesome dudes. (A spur is what we have here in the uk that consists of smaller wings, and an open area on the landing to chillout once it comes to bang up It was coming up to Christmas and the distilled hooch was being prepped for the rounds, one of the lads (I don't think I ever met him personally) had a visit and plugged a baggy full of E's ready for the Christmas fun. Unfortunatly, later that day the bag broke before he could get the chance to get it out and he ended up overdosing on the stuff. It wasn't pleasant and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Even more tragic, I was told his girlfriend was going to be charged with his death. The lad was well liked by those that matter, and my heart goes out to his family and even more so his Girlfriend as she had not only lost her significant other, but she herself was facing a lengthy term for his death. Prison life is cruel, and I wouldnt recommend that shit to anyone, unless you are a complete c*nt.
Big shout out from Scotland bro. I think you are a master story teller. That was hilarious 😂 bro. Take it that was the end of banking shit, pardon the pun.
Dude, that was bad!!!! loved it. Your story telling is next level. Well done sir! And I say that aggressively.
JD sorry that happened to you dawg, but on the bright side. I laughed my ass off. The story, and the way you told it made my day. Laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Thanks for the laugh. Peace out and Godspeed.
Dude I almost pissed myself at the green mayo.....what happened after...still laughing. Funny guy.
These type of videos really take a certain person to find them entertaining. I am this person. Nothing better than a prison pocket story. lmfao.
Dude u have such a strong personality and it makes you an amazing story teller, as always keep up the good life u come so far.
Wow...just...wow 😆 had me rolling bro! It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the dumbest things done in the past, and should definitely be used as a cautionary tale
Omg 😂😂😂😂😂 I have never laughed so hard in my life , Jesus christ man 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 my personal top favorite
You seem cool man. I'm Irish also hope all is well with you and your family. God bless and much love and respect from Kansas City Missouri.
"corn dogs for fingers" 🤣🤣🤣 you now have a new subscriber!
Fuck yeah! Thank you!
Wow... I laughed. I cried. This story has a little of everything! The Bird's Head? OTF!!! 😂😂
Holy shit I actually haven’t laughed this hard in so long you’re a legend lmao
I think it's totally impossible to not like you. Your story was amazing,
Thanks for breaking down the suitcase process... Always wondered what u put the 'goodz' in... Sandwich bag... Roll....😂😂😂 Had me crackin up!
Just don’t use the mayonnaise bro! 😂
@@JdDelay5150 😂😂
Bro the way you spoke about taking an L gave me the chills for real! I'm Irish go though drug problems so I feel you to a tee. You are the man.
You had me laughing so hard i thought I was going poop, I've done some years myself here in California and you're pretty much spot on, keep it up bro, you brought a smile to this old cons face.
This is 5 months old so your story telling has only gotten better but man you are good at this....I'm stoked I found your channel. 😂🤣😂🤣✌✌
Jd I’ve had such a bad couple days and I’m so grateful for u right now I’m crying my cheeks hurt from laughing I needed that so much
sorry for the suffer you had to go through, but you cheer me up with the way you tell your stories! much resect brother!
when you tell this story it makes me think about the song stinkfist by tool!
So glad you grabbed that table AGGRESSIVELY & not once, but BOTH times 😂🤣😂 Subscribed, literally lol throughout.
I love the way this dude tells stories.
I like the way he SCREAMS stories at me. 😂Can you imagine if he was on meth?🤣👍🏻🧡🎭
These types of stories usually gross me out but this was so well done. ❤😂
At least there ain't no cheek clappin
holy fuck the birds head.. "where's my half?" .. Priceless..
It sounds like a “shitty” time but the way you described this “asshole” doctor was amazing🤣😂 Fukin corn dogs for fingers, I subbed man😭❤️
HAHAHA ! Damn , I don't think I've laughed so hard in quite a long time ! Thinking of you in the bius on that long ride back to the facility just keeps me laughing... same with the doc's 1st examination. I also have a few of those incidents that are hilarious looking back, but were hell when they were happening, so I can empathize.
Just found your channel homeboy, u have a sub this shits funny as hell!
Thank you my dude!!!!
Fuck that was great!! I was laughing through the whole damned thing! I have been binge watching your videos and subscribed because you have such a twisted sense of humor, my kind of dude!! I hope life rewards you for all the things you are doing for your fellow man. Keep telling your stories, I love that shit!!
I have never laughed so hard. Your story telling is hilarious!
YES! I’ve been wanting to find the video telling this story. This was epic. We know better not to put green stuff in the hole. That was desperation and I respect that. You learned thought. A smart person learns from their mistake. Take note I said mistake, singular and not plural.
this man is a great storyteller the only problem I have with your stories is I know Im gonna be stuck watching them until the end almost all other content creators I can turn off you are truly gifted. thank you. your stories are funny and entertaining and most importantly gangster as f--- I look forward to watching your videos
This had me in tears laughing 🤣🤣 JD I have been watching your channel for a while now and honestly i like it. It's funny it's serious and everything in between. But it's all based on your own path in life from how you started out to how things are for you now. You tell it How it is. I hope you're life now gets better and better 🙏🏻
Funny as hell bro 💯 Best part is the conflict between being a gangster and being appreciative 🤣 It's like having an Angel and a demon on each shoulder 😂
Whenever I'd drive past a place and see guys on work crews I'd run by a convenience store then come back by a "accidentally " drop a couple of packs of cigarettes, some candy bars ,etc.
Did that with a 30 rack and ciggies in Florida #beerforcons 😂
I don't smoke cigs but I have tossed a few doobs at em a time or two.
Word up me to
I’ll never drink anything again when I watch another one of your videos I don’t think that coffee stain will ever come out of my shirt
I think my gaming laptop will get hot enough to evaporate that water!
"It's what I was THINKING!".... That had to suck so bad! But the Bird Head part was straight ruthless! Snitch Boy learned his lesson though!
I’m still waiting on my half 😂
@@JdDelay5150 🤣🤣🤣
I could of gone my whole life without hearing any of that, but for some reason, I sat and listened to all of it. My condolences.
Loving your content brother,i had a massive break down just before Christmas last year i am an Alocholic have been sober the last 10 months still waiting for help from out side sources,its a good job i have had amazing support from family and friends people have been amazing.Keep going JD love your energy.
You're hilarious man , this had me cracking up.
You had me crying! So glad I found you.
Dude this is pure f'n gold..😂😂😂😂
Yo this was the funniest shit ever! Thanks for sharing brother 😂
Brother you're hilarious. Thank you for the story It made me laugh and cheered me right up. Respect.
This sounded much more eloquent in my mind, but I'm having trouble getting my thoughts down, lol. I just hope it comes across with love and humor like it's supposed to!
Thank you so much for sharing this as your truth, and not as 'SWIM's story. So many people try to have everyone's attention for story time, but in their re-telling the humor falls flat because it's about 'Someone Who Isn't Me', or This One Dude...
Knowing the details between one finger or two, green or white mayo, and the actual amount of pain - these just add so much more to it all, and any embarrassment is just bonus when you're telling us loud & proud 😂
Love and Respect 😃
Corndogs for fingers! Bwahaha! Keep up the good work!!!
Brother Delay, I have not laughed so hard in my life. In one part of the post I choked on a tequila shot (ouch), rewound the video multiple times, and damn near pissed myself. I love your channel. Wish your merch carried my kids (they are of age) my old man, and my sizes.
Dam bro, u cool and real AF for not giving a F and sharing all of your stories!
You crack me up! Love your stories.
Damn bro, total respect to you man
when I thought my day was shit you just gave me a laugh and a pick me up thanks brother
I’m dying laughing. I had to pause the video a few times because I’m laughing so hard I’m fuckin crying! Ohh lord have mercy! You are great homie!
Funny shit man😂. Brought back memories. Where I did 18 months it was 64 man dorms. Dude that would bring in tobacco we all called him Bobby Hill because he looked just like Hank Hills son. He got the plug stuck one day. Half the dorm sitting there jonesing for a cig all asking "Yo did Bobby shit that out yet?" Only in prison will You ever see 30 dudes waiting for 1 dude to shit so they can have a smoke😅
Damn JD you're fukin' Krazy, that was the best yet 😂
LMAO Your hilarious brah 😂😂😂
Oh J.D you had me at green mayonnaise 😂😂😂😂😂 You are funny as fuck so expressive with the way you tell your stories , man keep rolling those gems out because your awesome . ❤ and peace Kylie from Australia 🇦🇺
Lmao . That was the funniest thing I’ve heard all day .
Bro i can't stop laughing. Corndog fingers turned me out! rofl
shoulda just spit on it tho roflmfao
Bahahaha I’m dying. Love your stories.
I was laughing so hard, I literally had to pause halfway through to catch my breath!
" any questions" : ha ha - you cannot be serious . Great story - best wishes to you from London.
I died. Thanks for sharing. Btw I know this is important to say to someone who is in recovery, regardless of whether you know me. I'm proud of you. Keep it up brother.
Yoo its crazy how he only really curses in his actual vids shits fire😭
You are a amazing story teller. You turn things so sad I to hilarious situations. Thank you for this channel you are amazing
I've watched a bunch of your videos, but this one had me dying. hahaha
How on earth you can across my algorithm is beyond me and THIS is the first video I see.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You have a new subscriber!
Your a bad ass dude to be telling that story I take my hat off to u bro 💯 funny ass hell y’all better take his advice lol
Thank you bro!
Jesus Christ that was a epic story!
Much love 💖
I laughed way too hard, but i died a little inside with/for you. Genuinely a hilarious story. And that shit takes one hell of a big man to talk about the time he poisoned his pooper.
10/10 would not reccomend 😂 but would absolutely buy you a beer while fighting back a grin
You are hilarious😂😂😂😂 I just recently come across your videos and they are just amazing