Gabriel Iglesias | How Do You Know I'm Not A Terrorist

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  • čas přidán 13. 05. 2023
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Komentáře • 2,4K

  • @DeadBloxOG
    @DeadBloxOG Před rokem +10507

    “They don’t make them in your size”
    - Security Officer in his head

    • @R1muru07
      @R1muru07 Před 9 měsíci +34

      Lol this comment was better then others

    • @RecapRico
      @RecapRico Před 9 měsíci +47

      “I didn’t know they made (dinosaur sounds) X” 😂😂😂😂

    • @SetiKt
      @SetiKt Před 7 měsíci +10

      This is some explosive jokes, it blew my mind

    • @AaronCoats-dm5uk
      @AaronCoats-dm5uk Před 2 měsíci +2

      Yea they don't have enough explosive to cover his vest lol so he's their scout lol

    • @brunoborowczyk8758
      @brunoborowczyk8758 Před měsícem

      ​@@AaronCoats-dm5uk😢😢0 There's coffee😢😢😅😊

  • @Mastermind8908
    @Mastermind8908 Před rokem +56887

    That wasnt racial profiling. That was RATIO PROFILING.

  • @Holycryptonite47
    @Holycryptonite47 Před 11 měsíci +6968

    The TSA probably thought he aint stabbing anything with a knife unless its a cake.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 Před 10 měsíci +38

      lol

    • @johnnakoulas1274
      @johnnakoulas1274 Před 9 měsíci +36

      😂😂😂😂 Good one cake 🍰 knife 🔪 😂😂😂

    • @justv7536
      @justv7536 Před 8 měsíci +45

      Australia doesn't have the TSA

    • @regentvoo
      @regentvoo Před 8 měsíci +5

      Or over a cake

    • @HariSeldon913
      @HariSeldon913 Před 8 měsíci +6

      I'd be tempted to bring a small knife just to try and get the security guy to say, "That's not a knife..." 😃😃

  • @VastIceGaming
    @VastIceGaming Před 11 měsíci +1756

    "Only thing you could terrorize is an all-you-can-eat buffet.'

  • @texasred5250
    @texasred5250 Před rokem +11333

    “Nah mate, you’d absorb the explosion.” 😂

  • @Dstryrr
    @Dstryrr Před rokem +7367

    What the guard really wanted to say:
    "You couldn't even fit in the cockpit"

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 Před 11 měsíci +14

      LOL

    • @darrenh0218
      @darrenh0218 Před 11 měsíci

      Yanks just aren't funny

    • @renz1013
      @renz1013 Před 11 měsíci +70

      "... And even if you would the plane would be significantly off balanced"

    • @dadthelad
      @dadthelad Před 11 měsíci

      Or "Hey, when have you even seen a fat cunt terrorist"

    • @znaykashuffler
      @znaykashuffler Před 11 měsíci +4

      But he just tried to be polite haha

  • @atomicgamer486
    @atomicgamer486 Před rokem +2257

    "Eh go ahead" that go me dying 🤣

  • @maeve8792
    @maeve8792 Před 11 měsíci +248

    “Hey when have you ever seen a fat terrorist”😂😂😂 that way he said it got me 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kamhani7394
    @kamhani7394 Před rokem +30015

    The security knew they don't make bomb vest in XXXL size.

  • @TheAntiTrope
    @TheAntiTrope Před rokem +4724

    Only in Australia can airport security both roast and compliment you in a single sentence.

  • @timehmalzeuzkeh7618
    @timehmalzeuzkeh7618 Před rokem +1069

    As an australian, he nailed that accent
    Edit: Woaw people seem to dissagree with me and now want my head on a pike. Chill like gawd dam.

    • @Kurikiai
      @Kurikiai Před 7 měsíci +3

      fr

    • @alexanderirving7577
      @alexanderirving7577 Před 7 měsíci

      Where the fuck in the country do they speak with that accent.

    • @W1TH3R1NGFN
      @W1TH3R1NGFN Před 7 měsíci +6

      Absolutely spot on mate

    • @michaelg8193
      @michaelg8193 Před 6 měsíci

      But Iglesias isn't Australian. As a comic he did fine of course. But he is not Australian.

    • @alexanderirving7577
      @alexanderirving7577 Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@michaelg8193 no really

  • @EndingTrack05
    @EndingTrack05 Před 11 měsíci +161

    Love him or hate him, Fluffy will always be entertaining 😂

  • @astrumnacht6015
    @astrumnacht6015 Před rokem +6985

    “Look he’s crying, I bet it tasted like gravy”

  • @ashadow4313
    @ashadow4313 Před rokem +8576

    It's Australia.
    The Earth itself is already terrorizing them.

    • @literallynoone9705
      @literallynoone9705 Před rokem +214

      In return they must verbally terrorize every human around them

    • @terra249594372
      @terra249594372 Před rokem +82

      ​@@literallynoone9705 it's a vicious cycle 😅

    • @DrFunkman
      @DrFunkman Před rokem +68

      What could any terrorist do that the wildlife is already not doing to them?

    • @theonescratchwonder6484
      @theonescratchwonder6484 Před rokem +10

      @@DrFunkman Something nuclear related probably

    • @dontage815
      @dontage815 Před rokem +39

      ​@@theonescratchwonder6484 you haven't seen some of the animals there then

  • @Apesta8
    @Apesta8 Před 9 měsíci +36

    The moment his friends drop the «f*ck» killed me😂😂😂

    • @sunnienelson2435
      @sunnienelson2435 Před 4 měsíci +1

      That got me laughing so hard because I can just see it happening 😂

  • @ae_frosty8549
    @ae_frosty8549 Před 8 měsíci +27

    ‘Hey, when have you ever seen a fat terrorist’ You just made one 😂

  • @pogfish9724
    @pogfish9724 Před rokem +5222

    “When have you ever seen a fat terrorist?” Lmaoo

  • @IswearIaintracist
    @IswearIaintracist Před rokem +13342

    Yep, that’s my home country

  • @mcdonaldgibberish6533
    @mcdonaldgibberish6533 Před 11 měsíci +14

    Dude in the back 🫢😱*gasp* The Knife!

  • @woofy881
    @woofy881 Před rokem +48

    Why do comedians always have the best stories to tell

    • @LordBritish-hi5cp
      @LordBritish-hi5cp Před 6 měsíci +5

      Because they add things to the story to make it funny

    • @RagnarTheFirestorm
      @RagnarTheFirestorm Před 6 měsíci +4

      Because they know how to deliver the story in the best comedic way

    • @taitano12
      @taitano12 Před 2 měsíci +1

      You could be a comedian too if your life was as weird as most theirs.

  • @shoto42
    @shoto42 Před rokem +1811

    You can always count on Australians being brutally honest with ya

    • @amitgodara2684
      @amitgodara2684 Před rokem +7

      But the moment others are brutally honest to Australians, they've somehow crossed a line that only Aussies are in charge of

    • @PhantomFilmAustralia
      @PhantomFilmAustralia Před rokem +11

      @@amitgodara2684 Name three examples.

    • @UtterlyClueless1
      @UtterlyClueless1 Před 11 měsíci +13

      @@amitgodara2684 yeah I’m not with ya on that

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 Před 11 měsíci +6

      ​@@amitgodara2684yet to ever have a foreigner who was actually correct when they were trying to be though
      The British get the closest before they go down the penal colony jokes
      Americans think they do but fail so badly its just sad

    • @caden4858
      @caden4858 Před 11 měsíci +4

      im australian and autistic so um yippee ki-yay or something

  • @renkun9575
    @renkun9575 Před rokem +5173

    i mean he wasnt lying tho

    • @robert17282
      @robert17282 Před rokem

      "Jabba the jihadi"the fat terrorist

    • @noxion4143
      @noxion4143 Před rokem +126

      "Never before have I been so offended by something i 100% agree with"

    • @adambrosche5894
      @adambrosche5894 Před rokem +19

      Officer was spitting facts.

    • @luchadroslb2
      @luchadroslb2 Před rokem +5

      True

    • @deathking1019
      @deathking1019 Před rokem

      well remember in dark knight the fat guy had a bomb sewn in his belly

  • @K1ng_Rat
    @K1ng_Rat Před 7 měsíci +4

    Bro Aussie humor is just something else

  • @Artr-sw7lg
    @Artr-sw7lg Před 9 měsíci +17

    Oh my gosh Australians are something else 😳 the end had me dying🤣

  • @kevinwake8789
    @kevinwake8789 Před rokem +2132

    you cut out the funny part at the end when Gabriel says the security says look he's crying." I bet it tates like gravy lol.

  • @Lomes
    @Lomes Před rokem +666

    I like how you can hear a guy in the audience go “the knife..” when fluffy did the metal detector beep

    • @Legoman121
      @Legoman121 Před 9 měsíci +18

      Thanks i never noticed that

    • @prettylife211
      @prettylife211 Před 6 měsíci +1

      I didn’t see someone talking about in the comment so I was like did I really hear it but there is my sisterrrrr thank you girl❤

    • @casey18982
      @casey18982 Před 5 měsíci

      I had to listen very carefully to hear it

  • @rosegold3508
    @rosegold3508 Před 11 měsíci +15

    What the guard wanted to say is that he'll only blow up the toilet.

  • @deannelson7027
    @deannelson7027 Před 9 měsíci +13

    Fluffy got straight up roasted.

  • @dextermorris7096
    @dextermorris7096 Před rokem +838

    Dude as an Aussie, that’s a really good accent

    • @KumoGoesFast
      @KumoGoesFast Před 11 měsíci +11

      i was thinking it sounded really good but then i was like..wait, what the hell do i even know about Australian accents? it could be absolute shit! lol
      cool to hear from someone who lives there

    • @user-zf6hn5mu2m
      @user-zf6hn5mu2m Před 10 měsíci +8

      Yea mate i just watched it again i didnt even realise, it is pretty good (im an aussie to)

    • @02WB86
      @02WB86 Před 10 měsíci +5

      as an Australian, I can also confirm

    • @Luke_chux
      @Luke_chux Před 10 měsíci +3

      It's pretty decent ay

    • @DenethordeSade.90
      @DenethordeSade.90 Před 10 měsíci

      I thought it was mediocre at best

  • @The-Urban-Goose
    @The-Urban-Goose Před rokem +560

    Aussies just say what they think. They're great.

    • @hiya5357
      @hiya5357 Před 11 měsíci

      some of us do the other half are brainwashed idiots

    • @panzerkampf6
      @panzerkampf6 Před 11 měsíci +7

      Thank you

    • @Nostromo2144
      @Nostromo2144 Před 11 měsíci

      Git a dead dog up ya mate! ;)

    • @donuttttttt
      @donuttttttt Před 11 měsíci

      Thanks ya motherf*cker
      (this is a joke obviously 😂)

    • @somerandomguy-hg8un
      @somerandomguy-hg8un Před 11 měsíci +2

      Aussies are truly amazing

  • @fromsimpletohard1317
    @fromsimpletohard1317 Před 6 měsíci +3

    "the knife " that guy was paying attention 😂

  • @3dw3dw
    @3dw3dw Před rokem +2

    This guy's impressions are awesome

  • @dalekimball8846
    @dalekimball8846 Před rokem +266

    hard to hide an explosive vest when your shirts that tight

  • @bigfella426
    @bigfella426 Před rokem +93

    “That’s not a knife…that’s a knife” Crocodile Dundee

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 Před 10 měsíci +7

      A knoyfe!

    • @rocky1raquel
      @rocky1raquel Před 10 měsíci

      I miss that guy 💔

    • @mathesonkamin6067
      @mathesonkamin6067 Před 9 měsíci +1

      ​@@rocky1raquelWhoa!! Talk about not having a clue.
      Crocodile Dundee, AKA Paul Hogan. Hogan is/was an Australian actor. And is still living.
      And is NOT The Croc Hunter!!

  • @leewomack3498
    @leewomack3498 Před 11 měsíci +11

    I just love this man! ❤ His stories are so funny....I could listen to them all day and all night. I just can't get enough of them. Gabriel you rock!! ❤😘😘😘

  • @williamforzani709
    @williamforzani709 Před 11 měsíci +8

    "When have you ever seen a fat terrorist"
    all of them, since they're wearing 50 bombs under that Hawaiian shirt 💀

  • @The_Real_JesusChrist
    @The_Real_JesusChrist Před rokem +248

    Its good to be Australian.

  • @chipdiamond5104
    @chipdiamond5104 Před rokem +43

    I figured he'd have said "thats not a knife, this is a knife..." in an Australian accent...

  • @timmibus917
    @timmibus917 Před 11 měsíci +7

    An accurate description of our airports

  • @stanleyjackson6087
    @stanleyjackson6087 Před 7 měsíci +1

    He my favorite comedian and got no ego. Iglesias is hilarious

  • @SqueegeeMan1378
    @SqueegeeMan1378 Před rokem +105

    that security officer woke up and chose violence

  • @knightcupvirushi3765
    @knightcupvirushi3765 Před rokem +132

    No one really talking about "I don't wear a belt because I have a b*tt" part? That crap killed me 😂

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I mean, he's not wrong :P

    • @timmy24261
      @timmy24261 Před 7 měsíci +2

      Too relatable for americans, so they just agreed.

    • @Abeanontheroad
      @Abeanontheroad Před 6 měsíci

      Ain’t no way you censord Butt, that’s wild

  • @Eddiebrock666
    @Eddiebrock666 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I love the fact that you can hear a guy in the back ground say "the knife" 😂

  • @Djinsoul
    @Djinsoul Před 11 měsíci +1

    They have enough to deal with already 😂

  • @mr.satire6867
    @mr.satire6867 Před rokem +74

    Bro’s entire bloodline was just evaporated right in front of him

  • @noahbaker808
    @noahbaker808 Před rokem +135

    He’s not fat He’s Fluffy😂😂😂. That’s the politically correct term😂😂😂

  • @VortekTheUnfunny
    @VortekTheUnfunny Před 11 měsíci +1

    Guy’s the best at telling stories.

  • @CrunchyCookiee
    @CrunchyCookiee Před 10 měsíci +1

    "The knife" 😂😂😂

  • @jeremylavespere8041
    @jeremylavespere8041 Před rokem +48

    The guy went “the knife”

  • @Menefreghista
    @Menefreghista Před rokem +47

    Damn Fluffy got violated on that one.

  • @RashaKahn
    @RashaKahn Před 7 měsíci +4

    I remember coming back from a wedding in Greece about 10 years ago, I went through security with my carry on, and they had me open my bag after the x-ray. I forgot that I had the letter opener from the wedding in the bag, they pulled it out and I told them what it was, the put it back in my bag let me on the plane. I was like, "wait what just happened?"

  • @Letsgofc
    @Letsgofc Před 11 měsíci +1

    The FUCK had me dying

  • @karmann1799
    @karmann1799 Před rokem +92

    If its not a Mick Dundee knife, it aint a knife.

  • @Goofy476
    @Goofy476 Před rokem +8

    The face he makes after the beep has me dead

  • @valt1879
    @valt1879 Před 10 měsíci +2

    I was laughing as hard as I thought I could until I read the comments. 😂

  • @canister6031
    @canister6031 Před 10 měsíci +1

    That was the origin of a villian

  • @_Islam4life
    @_Islam4life Před rokem +35

    The best Aussie accent😂😂

    • @polljones8921
      @polljones8921 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Lol. It was utter crap. So many non-Australians on here with no idea

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@polljones8921 Several aussies confirmed it's a great accent. You're just bitter.

    • @_aibohphobia_
      @_aibohphobia_ Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@RedRoseSeptember22yeah it was great, very passable 👊🏻

  • @xhifang
    @xhifang Před rokem +20

    I would be like "Understandable have good day"

  • @isaacb7197
    @isaacb7197 Před 2 měsíci +1

    That security officer did more damage than that knife ever could 💀

  • @BobbleHead90
    @BobbleHead90 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Australians are brutally honest

  • @ZXY_Editz
    @ZXY_Editz Před rokem +22

    Gabriel is always so funny. He always makes my day.

  • @JugoslavikBall
    @JugoslavikBall Před rokem +96

    Thats soo truee😂😂😂

  • @khalilthe21th
    @khalilthe21th Před 2 měsíci +1

    That guy said "the knife" made me dying😂

  • @user-ci3rr4kx5s
    @user-ci3rr4kx5s Před 7 měsíci +1

    he's the best ever no one could do it better than fluffy he's number one

  • @LostBoysNeverland
    @LostBoysNeverland Před rokem +29

    That hurt his feelings

  • @deeznuts23yearsago
    @deeznuts23yearsago Před rokem +7

    I love the little “the knife” from the crowd

  • @toastytom5122
    @toastytom5122 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Alternate title: mark making weird noises into his mic for roughly 22 minutes

  • @NighttimeFantasy
    @NighttimeFantasy Před 11 měsíci +1

    Nah he called him fat. His name isn't fat, he is Fluffy✨

  • @emosongsandreadalongs
    @emosongsandreadalongs Před rokem +18

    I forgot to check an expensive pocket knife once. Had to mail it to myself from the airport 🤦‍♂️

  • @The1AndOnlyLiquidNitrogen

    “Even if you kill someone its not like you can run away”

  • @Parrallaxatives
    @Parrallaxatives Před rokem +2

    The only thing Fluffy could terrorize would be the plane's bathroom

  • @B-.-..
    @B-.-.. Před 11 měsíci +1

    Aussies r so fckin real for that

  • @Bricks281
    @Bricks281 Před rokem +4

    NAHHHH HES MORE LIKE THE HOSTAGE IN THAT SITUATION 😂

  • @bellasamantha237
    @bellasamantha237 Před rokem +73

    Well actually sometimes you have to take your shoes off, especially high heels even here in Australia. 😆

    • @paulofelipebbraga9634
      @paulofelipebbraga9634 Před rokem +3

      Perhaps they just have a foot fetish.🤣🚬

    • @PhantomFilmAustralia
      @PhantomFilmAustralia Před rokem +2

      @@paulofelipebbraga9634 Explains why I've seen Quentin Tarantino at nine different airports.

    • @DontCareL0L
      @DontCareL0L Před 11 měsíci +1

      You can't bring mud on your shoes into Australia

    • @somethinglikethat2176
      @somethinglikethat2176 Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@DontCareL0Lfr. Customs here is more concerned about seeds than semtex.

  • @shadowharith2627
    @shadowharith2627 Před 2 měsíci

    The faded in "the kinfe" text followed by Fluffy's face was perfect 😂❤

  • @poglant
    @poglant Před rokem +15

    fluffy 747

  • @ellejaysmith6623
    @ellejaysmith6623 Před rokem +71

    I had my Vegemite confiscated because it was over 100ml and I’d mistakenly packed it in my carry on. So, I’m sorry people, but anyone thinking that getting through Australian customs is a piece of cake, it’s not.
    For anyone wondering why I was carrying Vegemite in the first place, we were heading to Asia for 12 months and I had to have it for my Vegemite and avocado toast. 🤤

    • @neighandwhinnymchorse2100
      @neighandwhinnymchorse2100 Před rokem +2

      As an American, I can relate. Except replace "Vegemite" with "Monster Energy"...or "bullets"
      Goofy ahh Vegemite eater, look at yourself

    • @fuzion_cold9279
      @fuzion_cold9279 Před rokem +6

      @@neighandwhinnymchorse2100 did u like ur own comment lmao

    • @neighandwhinnymchorse2100
      @neighandwhinnymchorse2100 Před rokem +5

      @@fuzion_cold9279 Nah, unfortunately, I don't like *anything* about myself

    • @bobmalack481
      @bobmalack481 Před rokem +1

      Don't tell 'Men at work' that story mate.

    • @theskepticalwhaler4946
      @theskepticalwhaler4946 Před rokem

      Vegemite is literally a terrorist weapon. I don't know how anyone on earth could eat that and not puke

  • @Acuna_29
    @Acuna_29 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Bro the fact that a guy in the audience said “the knife” 💀💀💀

  • @pietskiet42-_
    @pietskiet42-_ Před 7 měsíci +1

    The best bit is that it actually happened 😅😅😅

  • @riverjones3735
    @riverjones3735 Před rokem +6

    The one guy in the audience when he said 'the knife' got me dying laughing 😂😂😂😂

  • @dennisgoe3537
    @dennisgoe3537 Před rokem +14

    Probably recognized you too. 😂

  • @stilletto111
    @stilletto111 Před 11 měsíci +3

    “The knife” ... whoever said that, that was the icing on a cake.

  • @jack-tb5gl
    @jack-tb5gl Před 11 měsíci +2

    Naaa that security man violated fluffy 💀

  • @polblanes
    @polblanes Před rokem +16

    Damn that's probably their next weapon then

  • @keithshelton3683
    @keithshelton3683 Před rokem +2

    And the world clicks in to focus 😂 love you fluffy

  • @skylosfoxtrot2350
    @skylosfoxtrot2350 Před 6 měsíci +1

    "Oi, he crying. I bet its gravy"

  • @Yana.-_-.
    @Yana.-_-. Před 5 měsíci +1

    Well, I've been drinking a lot of nitroglycerin lately.

  • @Young.reject19
    @Young.reject19 Před rokem +3

    Something goes off while walking thru metal detector:
    USA: “Alright sir/ma’am, I’m gonna have to pay you down”
    Australia: “ehh go ahead”
    Australia is like that one busted up playground that doesn’t care about your feelings. 😂😂😂

  • @Gsmf652
    @Gsmf652 Před rokem +3

    fluffy 747 😂

  • @kennethmoses4900
    @kennethmoses4900 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Thanks for visiting, mate. Glad to have ya

  • @chriscunningham9747
    @chriscunningham9747 Před rokem

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll never get tired of watching Fluffy!!! Just makes me roll!!!

  • @l0stb01
    @l0stb01 Před rokem +9

    Proud of my country

  • @Mattmazz77
    @Mattmazz77 Před rokem +25

    Lmfao!!!😂😂😂

  • @bebecaca8374
    @bebecaca8374 Před 11 měsíci +2

    I confirm, Australian airports are the easiest 😅 and I was prepared for the examination of the soil on my shoes for the 1st time 🤪 and cleaned them well😅

  • @impracticaldaily8062
    @impracticaldaily8062 Před 5 měsíci

    Those friends are the best kind of friends. 😂

  • @Altorin
    @Altorin Před rokem +5

    the worst/best thing to say would be "Oh, you're right" then give them the knife
    it would be hilarious but you'd probably still be in jail lol

    • @spikyboi9578
      @spikyboi9578 Před rokem +1

      😂 his friends would be freaking out all the while 😂 Aussies are laid back until they're not, especially ones in uniform 😅

  • @jjOnceAgain
    @jjOnceAgain Před rokem +3

    "I'm not fat, this is just 300lbs of C4"

  • @jeremyjohnson2129
    @jeremyjohnson2129 Před 28 dny

    That was one of those " I want to mad ... but Damit he's right"

  • @Dot_1
    @Dot_1 Před 11 měsíci +1

    bro really thought the only danger is terrorist

  • @davegoldspink5354
    @davegoldspink5354 Před rokem +4

    😂🤣😂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 I worked in the security industry here in Australia for nearly 30 years and did some work on security years ago at Sydney Airport being honest I’d be more worried about some of the dodgy looking security guards used to work with than someone like Fluffy. 😂🤣😂 As for a security guard with an Aussie accent we’re as rare as hen’s here in New South Wales.