Why you should end situationships?

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  • čas přidán 6. 01. 2020
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Komentáře • 4,3K

  • @DynamicallyDC
    @DynamicallyDC Před 4 lety +2716

    A situationship is a total waste of time, effort, and energy if you're seeking something real. It will drain you, have you overthinking, & clueless.

  • @HisEverything2010
    @HisEverything2010 Před 2 lety +444

    3 months in, saw the red flags, and texted him today and told him, I can no longer be in it... I'm so proud of myself!!

  • @schawnettarobinson8584
    @schawnettarobinson8584 Před rokem +47

    I’ll never do a situation ship again. It ends in toxicity, bitterness, disappointment, and/ or pain. Never again.

  • @Laila_Voice_AsMR
    @Laila_Voice_AsMR Před 2 lety +194

    YOU DONT LOOSE A GOOD MAN, You LOOSE A MAN THATS NOT GOOD FOR YOU 💕

  • @go_off_Sis
    @go_off_Sis Před 4 lety +702

    We always build him up for the next woman BUT let him tear US down for the next man. 💅🏽

    • @queenchica6623
      @queenchica6623 Před 4 lety +40

      True, that's why I stopped the build up

    • @mitz1919
      @mitz1919 Před 4 lety +15

      Wow!

    • @timeisnow1673
      @timeisnow1673 Před 4 lety +20

      Shaking my head... brutal

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 Před 4 lety +16

      Whispering Acts yup this happen to me and oh this girl thought she was the “prize” but he also put her through hell also and told her she was a waste of time and called her a ho but I tried to warn her but she didn’t wanna listen, she thought she was better than me 🙄 she would try to make things up about me and wanted to fight me over a grown boy that was still trying to talk to me🙄🤦🏽‍♀️ they didn’t last and their relationship got so bad she had to move 5 hours away from him that’s how bad it was

    • @jenniferjones5909
      @jenniferjones5909 Před 4 lety +20

      Whispering Acts Girl he ain’t changed. He’s still the same just with a different woman.

  • @Metaphysicalmindspace777
    @Metaphysicalmindspace777 Před 4 lety +583

    I found myself settling for situationships and I was miserable. Because I knew I deserved better so I leveled up.

  • @CaramelCuban
    @CaramelCuban Před 3 lety +497

    *There are NO BENEFITS TO BEING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS🗣

    • @oceaniasmith2205
      @oceaniasmith2205 Před 3 lety +38

      Not for women

    • @Blahblah44433
      @Blahblah44433 Před 3 lety +57

      The only person that benefits is the man

    • @indicajane4721
      @indicajane4721 Před 2 lety +27

      I enjoy mine. Probably because I’m not seeking a relationship with him. He fills a need. I will drop him like a bad habit if I meet someone worthy of a relationship which he is not. Good for sex though. I don’t expect a man to be what he’s not. Looking to make those type of men more is what got me hurt. I treat him and all men in accordance with our relationship. No love without reciprocation.

    • @chumieoctober6921
      @chumieoctober6921 Před 2 lety +2

      💯♥️

    • @la6136
      @la6136 Před 2 lety +15

      @@indicajane4721 No offense but why would a real man respect a woman who entertains situationships? He will be looking at you like you are weak and have low self esteem.

  • @MariaYogiWellness
    @MariaYogiWellness Před 3 lety +458

    “No more raggedy relationships. If you were meant to be together you would be, because real love stays together... no breaking up and getting back together”

    • @themedia742
      @themedia742 Před 2 lety +6

      That’s called toxicity or in other words unequally yolk

    • @zen_mindset1
      @zen_mindset1 Před 8 měsíci

      That's the truth....time to wakeup

  • @gino6658
    @gino6658 Před 4 lety +372

    “If it was REAL, it would not have ended” thank you, that made it clear

  • @anastasia10017
    @anastasia10017 Před 4 lety +559

    when a man tells you he doesnt want a relationship/marriage/children etc. it means he doesnt want a relationship/marriage/children etc. WITH YOU. when he says he doesnt want a elationship/marriage/children etc. that is your cue to walk away immediately because he just told you that YOU are not good enough and you are just a place holder until he decides to get married to somebody else.

    • @carlenemorgan8755
      @carlenemorgan8755 Před 4 lety +16

      So what about him telling you that he wants you to have his babies and to be his wife but still cheats like hell, and still engages to you??

    • @tisha812
      @tisha812 Před 3 lety +77

      @@carlenemorgan8755 It doesn't really matter what he's saying if he's treating you like crap.

    • @sweethearted7053
      @sweethearted7053 Před 3 lety +26

      I need to read this every morning till i move on

    • @wendyworgu1368
      @wendyworgu1368 Před 3 lety +11

      That is @Carlene Morgan, that is my dilemma now. He says he wants me to be his wife n the mother of his kids, yet he’s ghosting n coming back like nothing happened, and asking me to give him time...

    • @femininelounge9240
      @femininelounge9240 Před 3 lety +28

      @@wendyworgu1368 block and travel💃

  • @katielady8346
    @katielady8346 Před 3 lety +86

    "Waiting on him to come tell you a lie" Jesus!! That's the whole truth

  • @virtuous_committed
    @virtuous_committed Před 3 lety +308

    Tony preached that. I found myself in a situationship, I ask him what was he looking for & he said friendship and we'll see where it goes. In my head, I said you not going to keep me in the friendship zone, for the next 5, 10, 15 years while you are trying to figure it out. So I blocked him. Fast forward 3 months later, after my brother passed he shows up on the scene again with the same foolery but the difference was this time I told him that I wanted to be married, & I don't have time for your shenanigans. Now he wants me to come over hang out by the fire pit & drink some wine. I told him I have my own fire pit and my own wine, I don't need you. Every now and again he will text good morning or have something to say, boy gone with yourself, I'm over it. ✌️

    • @YahToldMe
      @YahToldMe Před 3 lety +56

      Men like that only want to waste your time. You told him exactly what you wanted and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to deliver. More power to you sis!! 💗

    • @chumieoctober6921
      @chumieoctober6921 Před 2 lety +12

      ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾Boy bye.

    • @nmania3
      @nmania3 Před 2 lety +7

      Good for you, sis!

    • @themedia742
      @themedia742 Před 2 lety +1

      Grown boy that’s what he is

    • @robinlewisart_1997
      @robinlewisart_1997 Před 2 lety +8

      Wow sounds like my situation people are something you did the right thing to walk away

  • @DayaTom
    @DayaTom Před 4 lety +572

    You can't loose someone you never had.

  • @jlove3371
    @jlove3371 Před 4 lety +371

    I feel as though women already know they shouldn’t be in these situationships but they ask the questions anyway, because they want someone else to validate what they already feel or know. But the truth is no matter how many times you tell them, a woman will only leave once she’s officially tired and exhausted. Period.

    • @tlashai9902
      @tlashai9902 Před 4 lety +12

      Agreed

    • @msve3730
      @msve3730 Před 4 lety +12

      I approve this message. 😔

    • @dominiqueclark7826
      @dominiqueclark7826 Před 4 lety +2

      J Love Women don’t know! That’s really why they as...

    • @kaybaybee6942
      @kaybaybee6942 Před 4 lety +2

      J Love FACTS all facts

    • @AllThingsTiffanyTV
      @AllThingsTiffanyTV Před 4 lety +9

      And most times they still stay even after they ask. Hopefully it will stick and be the last time for someone. Let’s not lose Hope

  • @psychowitch04
    @psychowitch04 Před 11 měsíci +33

    I was in a situationship for 3 years without knowing it. I saw the red flags but i ignored it hoping we be a relationship. I realized he only used me as a placeholder cause i found out hes been in a relationship with another woman recently and when i confronted him, he still lied and then ghosted me... It hurts so much. I feel so alone. 😔

    • @luh2762
      @luh2762 Před 6 měsíci +5

      I'm really sorry to hear that,you're not alone 🙏 I understand how that feels but I've ghosted other guys so what goes around comes around, in my situation. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you but I hope and pray that you are able to fill yourself with care and love so you can be happy and attract the person you truly deserve :) ❤❤

  • @Jakilyn
    @Jakilyn Před rokem +10

    I just ended one today. I am damn determined to never take him back, not like I ever had him in the first place. No more contact, EVER

  • @oshun2866
    @oshun2866 Před 4 lety +329

    Being let go is a blessing in disguise. Be blessed.

    • @jenniferbroadwater4285
      @jenniferbroadwater4285 Před 4 lety +7

      Amen
      Be blessed

    • @Wheezy62120
      @Wheezy62120 Před 4 lety +10

      Oshun Yemaya Sometimes the Blessings are in the Breakup

    • @ms.g9047
      @ms.g9047 Před 4 lety +12

      Oshun it is even when it hurts. But in the end it will be worth it. God will heal your brokenness.

    • @CP-go1lz
      @CP-go1lz Před 4 lety +1

      Way in disguise! Takes faith and time. Find your way through. Thank you, Oshun.

  • @kjhyler
    @kjhyler Před 4 lety +756

    Ended my 2 year situationship almost 3 months ago. Tomorrow will be 90 days no contact. He reached out to me once asking if he could apologize, it was on voicemail and I did not respond. I'm very proud of myself. Although I love him, I know he isn't ready to give me what I desire and I'm not about to wait around or stick around to see if he ever will. I just can't do that to myself. So thanks Tony for confirming my decision and encouraging me to keep moving forward because it's not easy.

    • @kjhyler
      @kjhyler Před 4 lety +42

      Thank you. I just think of why I left and knowing he hasn't changed keeps me moving forward. I have some tough moments, but I keep my focus on my future. You can do it too.

    • @PrettiRissa
      @PrettiRissa Před 4 lety +32

      Kee H it’s definitely not easy! I’m sort of in the same situation. Mine has been gone for 6mo and he’s now coming back around and he sounds like he is in a different headspace. But honestly I’m just going to watch his actions and make him work for my attention! No more old me and just giving in

    • @kjhyler
      @kjhyler Před 4 lety +27

      @@PrettiRissa that's exactly what I'd do! Maybe he has changed, but he needs to prove it over a period of time and you should feel like he deserves another chance. If you really love him, I hope it works out for you two, but always put yourself first!

    • @PrettiRissa
      @PrettiRissa Před 4 lety +6

      Sunshine ☀️ definitely! Thank you ❤️

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 Před 4 lety +9

      Way to go Queen..keep moving forward unapologetically and relentlessly!!!!

  • @celinayoung952
    @celinayoung952 Před 3 lety +205

    I just broke off a situationship of 4 years. (Thanks to your videos!)
    It was bittersweet because a part of me felt sad and the other part of me felt proud for finally standing up for myself. Thanks for addressing not becoming depressed over the grown boy. You’re right, I’m not about to just let myself deteriorate. God made us warriors! Thanks man, you have no idea how encouraging/motivating these videos are. As a Christian, videos like this almost feel like sermons

  • @lush1276
    @lush1276 Před 3 lety +172

    Currently leaving mine.. Or should i say i left.. 😔.. U can never ever move forward from a situationship. Your stuck.. Just both of you having company, sex, making memories. U ask yourself am i in a relationship.?
    Nope the other person don't want the relationship. They only want a part of u and not all of you.
    That shit really hurts 😔

    • @leespicey6948
      @leespicey6948 Před 3 lety +11

      Strength to you Sis ... You'll get through it 🌹🧚‍♂️

    • @zee8455
      @zee8455 Před 2 lety +11

      You got this! Don’t relapse it gets worse when you relapse.

    • @juliaskagfjord6207
      @juliaskagfjord6207 Před rokem +2

      Wow that was so well said. Yes it can be incredibly painful for your love to not be wanted, nor your personality, really so many men only seem to want a womans body. Its very sad, and it can be incredibly difficult to find the man who will work for more, or want for more. It is a shame to be overlooked

  • @chocodiamondjewels3403
    @chocodiamondjewels3403 Před 4 lety +391

    Boy I got all this for FREE????
    PRICELESS!!!!!!

  • @spokenword4583
    @spokenword4583 Před 4 lety +265

    When that man let you go! Let him go.

  • @nickbry7357
    @nickbry7357 Před 3 lety +268

    God got a whole man.for us. Sisters!!

  • @rhondastewart3915
    @rhondastewart3915 Před 3 lety +51

    Im late on this one. I wanted to add that in most cases the man is already working on his next relationship before he ends the relationship with the one he is currently with. This is why the one hes with is posting pictures as if he's been with her for a while. Because he has been with her for a while. Now, that's the kicker!

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 Před 3 lety

      Oh so he’s a cheater then?😭😭

  • @jodybelle
    @jodybelle Před 4 lety +542

    “You hurting bc you played yourself”!!! That was it for me!👏🏾

  • @jamalgarland3447
    @jamalgarland3447 Před 4 lety +435

    i am a man and he is stating the truth

  • @NessTalks
    @NessTalks Před 2 lety +85

    This whole situationship thing is all about Ego forreal You dont really like them . Its the illusion of Lust and the hurt Ego trying to pick itself up. Once you have him you will be desinterested trust me. Its just not meant to be ... TG is on point! Be blessed 💯

    • @freework768
      @freework768 Před rokem +12

      I say this all the time. Do I really like him or am i trying to repAir my ego after falling for someone who doesn't want me! If i had him i know i would be super disinterested. My ego is getting the best of me

    • @gapeach7814
      @gapeach7814 Před rokem +4

      This is very true. Human nature has us chasing them because we want what we think we can't have.

    • @nadinemartin9512
      @nadinemartin9512 Před rokem +1

      This is truth right here.

    • @Queengemi5
      @Queengemi5 Před rokem +1

      Be blessed

    • @DarlingLove-ku3eu
      @DarlingLove-ku3eu Před 9 měsíci +2

      Not true! Maybe sometimes but we really do walk in love and find out later it was the jungle , gotta heal

  • @radiantly_fatime
    @radiantly_fatime Před 3 lety +67

    You're here, helping us break generational curses and you don't even know it. Thank you 😌

  • @LindsayAmelia
    @LindsayAmelia Před 4 lety +223

    “Unless you’re willing to become a better man, you’re not going to find a better woman”. Word.

    • @teshaparx4802
      @teshaparx4802 Před 4 lety +1

      LinzToMySoul Say that Sis!! ❤️

    • @Capricorn-mt1ke
      @Capricorn-mt1ke Před 4 lety +3

      That's the point they don't want a better woman because that means they have to do better which is not hard at all.

    • @aS-qu1vp
      @aS-qu1vp Před 2 lety

      Love it!

  • @witkneemenyon5612
    @witkneemenyon5612 Před 4 lety +328

    “There is no benefits to being friends with benefits” I felt that ! 😔

  • @daughteroftheking721
    @daughteroftheking721 Před 3 lety +70

    "REAL LOVE NEVER ENDS!" Priceless ❤️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @cozyhomequeen
    @cozyhomequeen Před 3 lety +87

    I was in a very dark place with a narcissist christian situationship were I wanted to kill myself. Really drain you & is not worthy. Learning to heal & love myself 💖

    • @musicmaker1311
      @musicmaker1311 Před 3 lety +10

      I was there 3yrs ago. Im still healing. I pray for your continued healing as it is a PROCESS.

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 Před 3 lety +1

      @@musicmaker1311 same

  • @terrasseberry5403
    @terrasseberry5403 Před 4 lety +143

    Him leaving for good was the best thing he could have done for me

    • @kelleybright3113
      @kelleybright3113 Před 4 lety +1

      Yes mam he her issue I'm feeling myself in my beyonce voice

    • @patricebarrett5845
      @patricebarrett5845 Před 4 lety

      True

    • @danasutton-echols2171
      @danasutton-echols2171 Před 4 lety +6

      Hope he stays gone and you stay strong.

    • @faithmoore3243
      @faithmoore3243 Před 4 lety

      Terrasse Berry, I am glad you are listening!

    • @stellarstar9340
      @stellarstar9340 Před 4 lety

      Terrasse Berry totally agree with you girl!! GOOD RIDDANCE FOOL!! More power to you girly!! Muah❣️‼️❣️😚👸🏻👑💁🏻‍♀️💋💖💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

  • @brookedrumgole4689
    @brookedrumgole4689 Před 4 lety +209

    PLEASE DON’T SHORTEN YOUR VIDEOS! Your messages are too powerful and meaningful to cut down or chop up.

  • @tbooker5547
    @tbooker5547 Před 3 lety +70

    You will be the reason I become a wife to a wonderful husband! This video brought me to tears! I love you for doing Gods work and taking out of your time to do these teachings. THANK YOU! God bless you and your beautiful wife plus kids! ❤️🙏🏽

    • @JonahzsaTerry
      @JonahzsaTerry Před 2 lety +1

      I feel the same way...he is helping me be so strong right now .I'm blessed for his platform

  • @lissiebabi
    @lissiebabi Před 3 lety +115

    I had to force myself to watch this entire video. I knew all of this, but hearing this from someone else, and a man at that makes it real and hard to ignore. I always make excuses for men (that they never ask for) and essentially gaslight myself. Thank you Tony. I usually do not listen to videos of speaking on relationships, especially men (because many times they say things to manipulate women). But you are spot on, and your words are clearly from God and from an honest place and from a place of experience. Thank you again. Best wishes to all who are leaving situationships.

    • @kearracooper9870
      @kearracooper9870 Před 2 lety +4

      Nothing but the truth right here!!

    • @tymakaeli1480
      @tymakaeli1480 Před 2 lety +3

      I purposely watched his video bc I wanted a man perspective. But what if it's your son's father you're in a situationship with?? It's really hard to disconnect bc we have this child that keeps us connected and bounded😔

  • @redeemed1352
    @redeemed1352 Před 4 lety +171

    “You need to have a whole man or whole woman or nothing at all.” You heard!

  • @mayroses218
    @mayroses218 Před 4 lety +64

    My situationship ended me recently but i knew it was already time to go with the lack of communication and understanding. No more holding on to potential if isnt already there.

  • @shansermon9098
    @shansermon9098 Před 2 lety +80

    Facts, Tony! Just because someone is married or in a relationship with someone does not mean that is the person they are supposed to be with. Most people settle or get locked in a marriage that wasn't supposed to be.

    • @IslandGurl85
      @IslandGurl85 Před rokem +1

      That’s so true I know so many ppl in marriages that they know they shouldn’t be in but want that companionship and a scared to be lonely

    • @MonochromaticBlues
      @MonochromaticBlues Před 10 měsíci

      nah youre wrong lady ....marriage means being with your soulmate unless the person is a gold digger/ seeking free wifey husband life

  • @Halllie
    @Halllie Před 2 lety +9

    A man that I was interested in told me he wasn't ready to have a girlfriend and settle down but still wanted to do boyfriend things with me (no cookies were given). After he told me that I never took him seriously and dated and got engaged to someone else.

  • @vturner
    @vturner Před 4 lety +271

    dating is so messed up these days

    • @zee8455
      @zee8455 Před 4 lety +5

      I swear It’s like a domino effect with dating

    • @missball404
      @missball404 Před 4 lety +15

      Very!!!!!!! Women have to put their feet down, get these fools together

    • @brieze1233
      @brieze1233 Před 4 lety +1

      Always messed up..let's reminist 🤔

    • @ed000
      @ed000 Před 4 lety +13

      @@missball404 I think it should be "women need to put their feet down and get these fools out of our lives!!

    • @missball404
      @missball404 Před 4 lety +3

      @@ed000 agreed!!!!👏

  • @91pinklipstick
    @91pinklipstick Před 4 lety +133

    It's time to graduate from these half ass situations and level up to fulfilling real relationships

  • @_MeeYuh_
    @_MeeYuh_ Před rokem +24

    Have this video on repeat to either encourage or to remind yourself of why you needed to walk away ! Thank you Tony 🙏🏾

  • @jayviensam2001
    @jayviensam2001 Před rokem +10

    There's a difference between a relationship and situationship. If a guy says that he don't want you, BELIEVE HIM! It's better than being with someone who doesn't value you fully. 💯 let him do what he wanna do and his personal boy "trauma" .

  • @Cookingwithkryskrys
    @Cookingwithkryskrys Před 4 lety +79

    The most important keywords in the video is "HE UNDERSTANDS." So many women continue arguing, lecturing & nagging men to death, assuming there's no way these men are aware of the damage they're causing. Ladies THEY know. They just don't care. Their love for meeting their own selfish needs outweighs any respect or love they may have for you. These men aren't powerless, clueless beings that are unaware of the damage they're causing. THEY KNOW. Accepting that hurts so bad, but it'll set you free a lot quicker. Why? B/c when you think a man is doing something b/c he doesn't know any better, it's in a woman's natural nature to spend the time to break it all down & go to great lengths to make a man understand. Problem is, 99% of the time, you're just preaching to the choir. These men are fully aware of what they're doing & to a degree, can we blame them? For every fuckboy, there's always a low self-esteem having chick who's chasing him, wants him or refuses to let him go. Those men have no reason to evolve or change b/c there's always gonna be a "you" around that enables them to continue being fuckboys with no real long term or life-altering consequences. And yes staying with a fuckboy is not only enabling him, it's REWARDING him for bad behavior. Just remember ladies, when a man betrays or disrespects you, it's not b/c they're not aware of what they're doing. Oh they know. It's just that our pride & egos struggle to admit that the man knew of the possible consequences & yet took the risk of losing us anyway. OUCH! That kinda raw truth hurts but it's necessary if you wanna take the blinders off, see a man/situation for what it truly is and heal. You can't heal unless your heart, pride & ego is ready to hear, acknowledge & accept some raw but ugly truths. Ladies, THEY KNOW!

    • @vegigirl7440
      @vegigirl7440 Před 4 lety +10

      hard to hear, but oh so right you are!

    • @kecia280
      @kecia280 Před 4 lety +4

      Bruised ego😏but you’re so right ‼️

    • @mslnie
      @mslnie Před 3 lety +2

      Amen! This is so true. The truth can be devastatingly painful, but it doesn't change that it is truth.
      They wont change, especially as they love what they do and are enabled to continue to do so..
      And, honestly, I admit that I had a difficult time understanding that they MEAN it. I thought they did not know! But they do.... And when mine told his son to not do the things he does because they are WRONG (while claiming he no longer acts that way, but most certainly does) that struck me. He knows what he does is wrong - he just does not care. Ouch.
      Time to move on....

  • @cheyenneallenbaugh3889
    @cheyenneallenbaugh3889 Před 4 lety +147

    😂😂😂😩 I wish I found all this 7 years ago but it’s never too late to hit that 78mph

    • @TonyGaskins
      @TonyGaskins  Před 4 lety +5

      #BlessedTribe

    • @naketia83
      @naketia83 Před 4 lety +9

      What she☝🏾 said! At least the next Generation have the tools.

    • @lerhondajones-bates3324
      @lerhondajones-bates3324 Před 4 lety +9

      I wished I'd known this 20+years ago...u lucky you got it at 7...be strong sis....💜

    • @Brisy0000
      @Brisy0000 Před 4 lety +2

      😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

    • @dacamp777
      @dacamp777 Před 4 lety

      @@lerhondajones-bates3324 me too. 20 years ago I would have bypassed the fools and be married to the best man for me right now.

  • @taanyahleecat8090
    @taanyahleecat8090 Před 3 lety +36

    I encountered my first situationship in 2018 and I've only gone backwards in life since. Watched a lot of life coaches such as yourself to learn from your experience as I have such little. I was able to set boundaries and a deadline which he did not meet and was disconnected from my life and not in the goal of attention but because he is literally the biggest crater on my path I've ever met. Took two years of work on myself to fix the Damage Done by a manipulator for 6 months cuz I had no idea what I was actually going through.

    • @skyfall1481
      @skyfall1481 Před 3 lety +2

      It’s really weird as it seems to hurt more than being in an actual relationship. Very confusing. I hope you heal and go from strength the to strength.

    • @Queen-ConsciousYa
      @Queen-ConsciousYa Před 2 lety +1

      Proud of you queen! 💕☺️

    • @tulikas6832
      @tulikas6832 Před rokem +2

      How did you go about setting the boundaries

  • @SweetTee04
    @SweetTee04 Před 3 lety +29

    This has been my whole dating life for a long time. ....I just decided to let go because I finally reAlized it would never go anywhere. Now I’m a single parent when I could have left the situation a long time ago.....i feel like you have been watching my life story the past 15 years lol....

    • @michellewatley5014
      @michellewatley5014 Před 3 lety +2

      Yes I ride the same boat with you. Am a single mom with a special needs son he is 27 am learning to LOVE MYSELF

  • @Godislove818
    @Godislove818 Před 4 lety +110

    I dont want to be the " pick of the litter" tried to keep me stuck for a whole year , he,s history now , thanks to Tony , we have to end these situationships ladies..

    • @KAAT2239
      @KAAT2239 Před 4 lety

      C Thomas yes!!!!!!

    • @rozh8321
      @rozh8321 Před 4 lety +2

      Me 2...and better to be late than never🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤❤❤❤❤

    • @sunmoonstars1611
      @sunmoonstars1611 Před 4 lety

      I agree!

  • @aglamourmama
    @aglamourmama Před 4 lety +89

    "Dont let that lace front and glue be showin, get yoself right and let him go". I know that's right Tony.

  • @Fredleea77
    @Fredleea77 Před 3 lety +13

    I just died laughing 😂 when he started speaking in tongues

  • @rahelyigzaw8803
    @rahelyigzaw8803 Před 3 lety +4

    One year later and one of the BEST advice around!!! PERIOD!!!

  • @larhondalivelife
    @larhondalivelife Před 4 lety +234

    Let me say this! Situationships is something I can’t do. I hate dating and I’m not about to give myself to someone who can’t commit. It’s so confusing... yuck.

    • @iamlateekea4940
      @iamlateekea4940 Před 3 lety +5

      Agreed but for me we were in a relationship, I figured out year one after moving in w him for 4 months he wasn’t my husband. From there spent the next 3 years in a relationship/situationship ... I always said never! But it’s happened... I learned a lot... one. Trust myself cause although he improved over the years... he just need TOOOOOO MUCH HELP! 🤣

    • @couchbruhtato8510
      @couchbruhtato8510 Před 3 lety +3

      Just got out of one what a train wreck that was

    • @lashawnward340
      @lashawnward340 Před 3 lety +1

      Im with you.. Dating is Crazy!!

    • @tymakaeli1480
      @tymakaeli1480 Před 2 lety

      @@angeleyes3386 but what if it's your bd that you in a situation in with? He's a good supportive man to his child but he gives me the bare minimum it's so confusing 😕

  • @amorakeish357
    @amorakeish357 Před 4 lety +142

    U need to have a whole man or a whole woman or have nothing at all. Powerful message

    • @tishc24
      @tishc24 Před 4 lety

      keish Palmer ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

    • @missball404
      @missball404 Před 4 lety

      Exactly

  • @roudjik4894
    @roudjik4894 Před 3 lety +5

    I don't go past a couple of months, if he doesn't put effort into getting to know me, or knows what he wants from me, then he is history. Just let him go, it hurts but it will pass. The right man will move mountains to be with me, because I am an awesome strong beautiful woman. Was married to a narcissist for way too long but collected all my powers to leave despite all my fears.
    I have learned to walk tall, walk away and value my feelings.

  • @robinlewisart_1997
    @robinlewisart_1997 Před 2 lety +16

    Thanks for this long video ... I love it. I am so glad I walked away because he never would have. All the gray areas, lies and inconsistencies got out of hand. A lot of times men don't leave good women they will stick around and still do everything else outside the relationship that they want. You have to walk away. When they really get out here they'll figure it out just don't allow them to come back. Focus on yourself Life is too short.

  • @mariadaskalakis9317
    @mariadaskalakis9317 Před 4 lety +104

    “There are no benefits to friends with benefits...there is a benefit to friendship” 💯🎊

  • @Tati4rmKali
    @Tati4rmKali Před 4 lety +127

    “When you said rewind that” , I promise I rewinded 5 times!!

    • @erickaj7373
      @erickaj7373 Před 4 lety +2

      Tatiana Cabrera Me too!!!!

    • @rozh8321
      @rozh8321 Před 4 lety +2

      Me 3.
      😂😂😂😂

    • @ericabostwick4033
      @ericabostwick4033 Před 4 lety +6

      Tatiana Cabrera yes ma’am! This is my 2nd time listening to the entire message. He is giving us wisdom straight from heaven

    • @anointedstilettos
      @anointedstilettos Před 4 lety +3

      @@ericabostwick4033 Mine too.

    • @jussjess2829
      @jussjess2829 Před 4 lety +4

      Girl me too! Omg this message today! Got me going

  • @akrodriguez2720
    @akrodriguez2720 Před 3 lety +17

    Excellent advice, Tony. You're speaking TRUTH! Ladies, respect yourselves - Stop letting men play you and waste your life!! You deserve a good man who loves and treats you like a Queen. You also must treat him as the King in your life.

  • @qscott888
    @qscott888 Před 3 lety +5

    That “rest stop” analogy is everything. Be Blessed

  • @mscassama
    @mscassama Před 4 lety +56

    " You better laid and played! Listen to me naw! " 😂😂TG voice. He is not lying!

  • @tomaradoss3420
    @tomaradoss3420 Před 4 lety +113

    Haaaaa! My ex Left me ! Glory be to God! Got married ! A year later she left him! I spent 2 years angry at him and God! And the whole time he was miserable! Never worry about what he’s doing ! Cut off everything connected to him and move on immediately! God was gracious enough to let me find out about it , just for learning and teaching purposes .Just to testify to what Tony is teaching us!

    • @skyandrews2613
      @skyandrews2613 Před 3 lety

      This was really encouraging, that's amazing. I hope your marriage continues to thrive, and bring you the happiness that you deserve. Something similar happened to me recently, my ex left me (didn't give me a reason why) but he did it over text on the day that we were supposed to go on a trip together.

    • @user-vp8oz1pj9c
      @user-vp8oz1pj9c Před 3 lety

      Man, I needed to read this right now. He refused to commit to me, and I agree...I played myself because my self esteem never recovered from past traumas...I thought I deserved garbage. Honestly, I still do, because I can't seem to believe I'm awesome. I know his new toy will see it..too late...and by then, he will be warming up the next victim.

    • @musicmaker1311
      @musicmaker1311 Před 3 lety

      ‼️🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

    • @tomaradoss3420
      @tomaradoss3420 Před 3 lety

      @@skyandrews2613 I’m not married, but I receive that for when it does actually happen! But I see this was 5 months ago ! I hope your healed sweetheart!

    • @tomaradoss3420
      @tomaradoss3420 Před 3 lety +1

      @@user-vp8oz1pj9c and this is where the work begins boo! Asking God how come I move like I move? Then he shows you by revealing your past all the way back to childhood, from there you gain clarity , pray for strength, and healing in that area, then little by little you start to value yourself Because you start to see how much God does! 2 months late ! But I hope all is well🥰

  • @tessarabennett3951
    @tessarabennett3951 Před 3 lety +16

    I have literally stopped the car and kicked a man out and told him walk home.

  • @christineowori750
    @christineowori750 Před 3 lety +63

    Honestly, I really like these long videos. They have so much detail that i need to hear. I don't mean to compare, but other relationship coaches gloss over these details and just end up having the same generic information everyone has. This goes deeper and peels off layers of things that were pure mystery to me. Thank you very much.

  • @jussjess2829
    @jussjess2829 Před 4 lety +669

    Three most important points in this video:
    1. Get you some self esteem and stop chasing after a piece of a man.
    2. When a man leaves you. Put your track shoes on and run as fast as you can and don’t let him tell you twice.
    3. Toxic relationships leave you with a stench that the next person my not be able to stomach. Get rid of it! Glow up and move on with your life. .
    Amen Tony! You said that..

  • @latoyagentles319
    @latoyagentles319 Před 4 lety +175

    Tony had me laughing out loud.When people walk away from you let them walk.Your destiny is not tied to anyone that left.Mans rejection is God's protection.God bless you and your family.

  • @slimalinga_
    @slimalinga_ Před 3 lety +10

    The situationship is the death of society ☝🏽🙏🏽

  • @sofi1672
    @sofi1672 Před 3 lety +9

    I refuse to repair a man for another woman 😐

  • @MissShauntae
    @MissShauntae Před 4 lety +85

    He hasn't change nothing he just tired.

  • @tarahbruno3793
    @tarahbruno3793 Před 4 lety +193

    He lives down the street and I found another route to work, the store etc. had to learn all the back roads to avoid passing by that house! 😂 No looking back

    • @summerdior459
      @summerdior459 Před 3 lety +5

      Amen 🙏 sis

    • @THATGIRL0121
      @THATGIRL0121 Před 3 lety +4

      What happened if you don’t mind me asking ?

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 Před 3 lety +1

      @@THATGIRL0121 I wanna know too

    • @Snow-fy5wv
      @Snow-fy5wv Před 3 lety +1

      Lol same we work together SMH

    • @chumieoctober6921
      @chumieoctober6921 Před 2 lety +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂 I had to move from the location so we don’t cross paths. It’s so important.

  • @rc6307
    @rc6307 Před 3 lety +4

    His analogies are truly funny, but 200% truth!

  • @dontwatchdatstill
    @dontwatchdatstill Před 2 lety +14

    Thanks for this 👏🏾 I needed this today. The red flags we choose to ignore at the beginning are the reasons it ends. I’m guilty

  • @shumekarodgers
    @shumekarodgers Před 4 lety +100

    Amen to the title alone! End them indeed... It doesn't lead to anything worth having.

  • @monalisasmiles1978
    @monalisasmiles1978 Před 4 lety +238

    This Message Here...
    Some women don’t believe they deserve better! How can you pray to God and NOT trust HIS design for your life?

  • @instantlove
    @instantlove Před 3 lety +10

    just ended it with my fwb and did a quick lil youtube search to see if i could find a divine message. i skipped past every video except this one. thank you so much for the guidance. i feel immensely better

  • @lindsayhartman7135
    @lindsayhartman7135 Před 2 lety +4

    The sports metaphor and "the roster" is such an apt description. Genius way to present the situation of the situationships.

  • @lazaundra1
    @lazaundra1 Před 4 lety +64

    This is a reminder to many women to not get bored with life and start re-connecting with grown boys that was once a thorn in their side!
    Be blessed!

    • @PrettiRissa
      @PrettiRissa Před 4 lety +6

      KT Robi wow! That’s a good way to put it! Out of boredom we will entertain old situations 😩😩😭🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @DevAllDay
    @DevAllDay Před 4 lety +165

    What the hell is wrong with men,? this is crazy, seem like something just wrong with y’all, all this damn mess we gotta go through, it’s just too much, the hell with it

    • @PrettiRissa
      @PrettiRissa Před 4 lety +14

      I swear it’s so much to have to worry about! It does make u feel like! Just forget it all 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @m.williams3497
      @m.williams3497 Před 4 lety

      Neil Butcher are you a good catch? Or no

    • @traceylennon1204
      @traceylennon1204 Před 4 lety

      EXACTLY @ Nikkie_

    • @helenabailey40
      @helenabailey40 Před 4 lety +2

      Naw hun. We can no longer blame men . We attract who we are raise your standards and God will send a man who will rise to your standards. But you have to abstain from sex until marriage. Everyone won't have the same grace and be as fortunate to find love like Tony and his wife

    • @reneepettitt9560
      @reneepettitt9560 Před 4 lety

      I was in a relationship for 9 yrs.... I thought that was it. I thought we would be together forever. He started staying out late giving me all kinds of excuses. I started checking his phone and sit enough there were other woman.... I even called one of the number s and spoke to her...I just couldn’t believe he would do this to me. He tried to come back but he had lied so much. He married some girl he barely met and told me .... see now you’ll be sorry!

  • @myrajiles8856
    @myrajiles8856 Před 3 lety +5

    Thank you for being the big brother that tells us the tough things we need to hear!

  • @nandimillett8406
    @nandimillett8406 Před 3 lety +23

    Can you do a video on situationships vs dating. After what period of time are you starting to cross the line from getting to know someone/dating into a situationship

    • @iamjessie.b
      @iamjessie.b Před rokem

      Tony Gaskins can you speak on this?

  • @jussjess2829
    @jussjess2829 Před 4 lety +87

    When Tony spoke in tongues begging for the man to come back.. I almost fell out. 😩😩 because he know he telling the truth! I have done exactly what he is describing. Amen Tony

  • @audreyt854
    @audreyt854 Před 4 lety +140

    Have a whole man, or nothing at all. No bits and pieces!!!

    • @nadialabushanab3732
      @nadialabushanab3732 Před 3 lety +4

      Yeah, have a whole women not 1 foot in & 1 foot out, forget situationships!

  • @tonyasimpson7613
    @tonyasimpson7613 Před 3 lety

    Thank You Tony. You are helping someone especially me. You are making so much sense.

  • @BlueLotusVillage
    @BlueLotusVillage Před 3 lety +4

    The end of this video had me in tears . You are a blessing to us

  • @Iamirealla
    @Iamirealla Před 4 lety +178

    The moment he decides to leave he was never yours.

    • @georgebethea8911
      @georgebethea8911 Před 4 lety +2

      sometime the lady will make you leave her

    • @CP-go1lz
      @CP-go1lz Před 4 lety +1

      Yes.. and likely even before that he wasn't :)

    • @alimay6736
      @alimay6736 Před 4 lety +1

      Thank you needed that❤

  • @ladyt_ismyname6643
    @ladyt_ismyname6643 Před 4 lety +66

    He’s not my man = I’m not meant to be his woman, I’m meant to be someone else’s wife.

  • @afrozeahmed6515
    @afrozeahmed6515 Před 3 lety

    Be blessed Tony!Thank you-I love how you tell me what I have been thinking BUT to hear a man say it out loud..Gives me validation like nothing else!

  • @warilaetamaraye8712
    @warilaetamaraye8712 Před 3 lety +8

    Thank you.
    My last relationship broke me.
    I only had courage to block this person today.after over9 months of no contact. I never loved this way before.
    I kept my self for 16 years only to think I found love.
    I need prsyer intersetion to heal and live again.
    Thank you Tony.

  • @elle353
    @elle353 Před 4 lety +143

    Hurt me with the truth don't comfort me with a lie... i love it keep it coming & be blessed

    • @sj8880
      @sj8880 Před 4 lety +5

      Hurt me with the truth don’t comfort me with a lie”...should be on a shirt!

  • @glendagadlin3318
    @glendagadlin3318 Před 4 lety +89

    I normally don’t comment but I haven’t heard a word like this in a long time. God woke me up this early out of my sleep because I was questioning why I’m in this situation. How did I get here? It’s all so clear now.
    Thank you 🙏🏾 ♥️ I need to turn this man over to Jesus! So I can receive the man God has for me. Quit playing with these grown boys ladies in 2020. We don’t have time for it.

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 Před 4 lety +1

      Amen ...I agree..God is good..great video.

    • @PrettiRissa
      @PrettiRissa Před 4 lety +1

      Glenda Gadlin yep it shouldn’t be so hard. I feel like if it’s meant it will flow! I had an old flame come back around. And it’s weighing on me that I’m even talking to him. I do feel like people can change bc I have changed too since we last talked. But atp I’m just watching his actions!

    • @andrealmorris8576
      @andrealmorris8576 Před 4 lety +1

      Neil Butcher please have a lil tact. How about. Save yourself for your husband. God is well pleased with you honoring him first, and will give you the desires of your Heart.psalm 37:4

    • @Inmyownlane808
      @Inmyownlane808 Před 4 lety

      Amen

  • @maureenm596
    @maureenm596 Před 2 lety

    This video is so true !!! Thank you for not shortening your videos.

  • @deshabernardo73
    @deshabernardo73 Před 3 lety +14

    Nobody has got through to me for a whole year but you and these videos sent me over that hump! Thank God for you!

  • @TheOnlyQueenShay
    @TheOnlyQueenShay Před 4 lety +97

    There is No benefit, in friends with benefits! 💯

  • @mercedesmunn
    @mercedesmunn Před 4 lety +43

    That car analogy was everything!

  • @loveace.3745
    @loveace.3745 Před 3 lety +2

    Nothing but truth. I needed to hear this. Thank you Tony. Be Blessed💙

  • @dublingirl1691
    @dublingirl1691 Před 3 lety +4

    I LOVE your long videos Tony. So very helpful! Thank you! 🙏🏼

  • @wessamMohie
    @wessamMohie Před 4 lety +54

    Broke busted and disgusted ! Point blank peri-yod 😂😂🤣

    • @louwil67
      @louwil67 Před 4 lety +2

      Wessam Mohie When Tony says Broke Busted and Disgusted you know he’s preaching good and I’m like 💀🤣💀🤣

  • @destinyuplift
    @destinyuplift Před 4 lety +141

    Tony you cut-up with this message. I'm at the 24min mark. Tony God spirit is on you so continue to make your videos how long you want it to be.

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 Před 4 lety +4

      😂😂😂😂 he did, I bursted out laughing. He stay cracking me up. I enjoy the long videos im Learning its over for these clowns.

    • @KaitNovara
      @KaitNovara Před 4 lety +2

      Yes, please! We all the knowledge!

  • @Judydavis24
    @Judydavis24 Před 3 lety +2

    You are giving a good word here. Thank you my brother

  • @jonesnat87
    @jonesnat87 Před 3 lety

    Be blessed. I have been here stuck for a long time. I really like how you explain it from both sides and make it clear .