Mom Is Lying to My Sister About Who Her Father Is
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- čas přidán 15. 12. 2021
- Mom Is Lying to My Sister About Who Her Father Is
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Wow. Imagine being the sister and always having the gut feeling something was wrong, but having your own mother gaslight you and lie to you, and make you feel like there was something wrong with you. How freaking sad.
How devastating!
Definitely abusive to grow up being treated as though she, herself is wrong … and it’s her fault. I hope the sister goes to tell her in person. I have the idea … mom is not going to come with love, compassion and asking forgiveness…. She needs her sister.
Um that's been my whole life - some mother's are not mother's
@@carolinekamya2339same.
To be clear...she is your biological sibling. Not full, but half. But truly definitely biologically related. Sharing a parent is a half sibling. Step siblings and adopted siblings are not biologically siblings.
Thank u! Was gonna post the same thing
Thank you. So strange she doesn’t know this.
Still dosnt take away from the fact. I grew up thinking my father was my biological father until I was 15-16.
You catch certain things “siblings looks like dad” -> “you look like sibling” -> “you don’t look like dad”. 😧
Which then leads to confusion in how connection works and if your thoughts are irrational? And second guess your thoughts b/c “the adult knows best”.
Still as a grown adult at 23, ALWAYS second guess if I am correct or if people are lying to me. You or through it, but still lying to your kid, and EVERYONE is aware, makes them grow up thinking they don’t know anything or everyone else knows everything while you don’t.
My siblings are technically my half siblings but I refer them as my sister and brother not half
If you have One of The Same parent you're not FullSilbings You're Siblings just Half Sisters
Worst part for this poor woman is going to be finding out everyone else already knew long ago. It would be one thing if mom and dad kept this secret from everyone... quite another to be told the rest of the family has known for a decade.
Yeah that is fucking absurd to tell everybody else but not the person who it affects. And it’s going to cause her way more harm and it’ll tsnk every relationship she may have had with her family when she finds out that everybody knew for years and nobody ever told her. The way they handled this will be way worse and more harmful to her than the fact that who she thinks her father is isn’t her father.
yes I don't understand why the mum would tell everyone all the siblings but her? what an awful thing to do! OMG 😲 heartbreaking.
Yes, that will be the worst thing, finding out everyone else knew for so long.
This is one of the saddest calls I've ever heard.
Hell yeah... I cried.
When she is told, the curtain will fall from her eyes and everything will make sense. How she was treated . Etc. Tell her. NOW
P
I do NOT understand why the parents told so many people but not the girl. What a terrible, terrible thing to do. I hope the sister is able to break through.
6 minutes through and the phrase "no two kids grow up in the same household" is screaming so loud and clear
I found out at 16 that my dad wasn’t my biological father. My parents still to this day think they did the right thing by keeping this secret from me all those years. I’ve tried to explain to them that it hurts, it still hurts. They think I’m being dramatic. Trust is damaged forever.
Some people honestly believe that parenthood is a social construct.
@@fnordiumendures138 its literally concerning how we structure part of society. so yeah, it is.
I saw one comment saying that they should have told her in her teens the latest. When really is the best time
@@Slowmetamorphis My parents said they planned on never telling me, but I was about to go on a trip out of the country and there was paperwork that gave away the truth.
I wish they would’ve told me as soon as I was able to understand the basic idea of it-maybe 5?
@@pinkypromisevintage ok. You're insight was really helpful. Usually these things come out when there is no choice. Sometimes parents really think they are doing the best thing.
This happened to my mom and she was the oldest daughter in the 11 children. My mom didn't find out until my grandma's funeral when there was an argument about where the funeral service was to be held. In a fit of anger, one of her sisters blurted it out that my mom's dad wasn't even her real dad. My mom was absolutely crushed, couldn't ask her mom because she was now gone and it made the entire funeral situation difficult for the entire family. People felt they had to take sides, my grandpa was crushed as well and it was horrible.
Your mom's mom is a sicken individual keeping this secret from her daughter
This is way more common than you think.
Women get knocked up and latch on to other guys all the time.
What they did to the sister is awful.
This caller doesn't seem to get it. That IS her biological sister!! Half sister. The mom doesn't get to decide that she can't see her real dad!!! That poor sister deserved better. Imagine everyone knowing that secret about you and laughing about it behind her back. No wonder she had a problem with relationships.
Look, she's raising her child for her ... she knows.
That’s so sad, she’s been lied to her whole life. That’s heart breaking
And humiliated by letting everyone know
Wow. Those parents messed that sister up for life.
I hope she told her sister… this happened with me too. Everyone in my family (except my little sister) knew that the man who I thought was my dad wasn’t. Even family members that were never around or that I barely knew also knew…. It was the worst day of my life finding out. I felt more lost than I ever have in my life. I had spent 25 years trying to find a brother who I wasn’t actually related to (from my ‘dad’s’ previous marriage.) My ‘dad’ passed and I didn’t get to know him but knew I had an older brother (who I’m not actually related too). After finding my ‘brother’ my mom was mad at me one day and randomly told me that he wasn’t actually my brother. I was so confused. Him and I took a DNA test because I didn’t believe her and she was right…. It came out in the WORST way possible and I felt completely broken. 3 years later and I finally found out who my dad was (after I moved on the other side of the US from him) BUT I’ll get to meet him AND my younger brother for the first time when I go back home. It’s been a long time coming and I wish I had known earlier…
Did you feel like you looked like your dad in anyway?
She should have been told in her teens (the latest) and placed in counseling.
I hate people who lie. The kids pay the price sooner or later
Imagine her mother telling EVERYONE but her.
I honestly thought Dr. Delony was short 😂 he doesn’t look 6’2” on screen lol
Whaaat? You’ve never seen him in pics with the other DR personalities….
Me too and no haven’t seen pics yet 😂
Idk, I've always felt like he was tall. He's got 6'4" energy imo 😄
Short people have round faces.
Look at the length from the top of his head to his jaw.
His height is obvious.
This happened in my family. An uncle of mine who is the youngest didn't find out until his mid 20s he was adopted. Everyone knew he was adopted except him even family friends. I was a child and I knew he was adopted but we were all told to never say anything. On a drunken night someone blurted it out and he was irate. Keeping a family secret like that is so wrong and like John said it shouldn't be anyone's burden to continue the facade.
Desperately sad. The worst bit is that everyone else knows! Tell her asap.
She'll find out sooner or later. Better tell her now than have her find out later on through a third party. Oh, love John's reaction.
My mom did this. Cheated on my dad, got pregnant and lied to him for years saying my little sister is his daughter. He found out when my sister was 5 years old about the truth. My sister still doesn’t know the truth and I don’t think she’ll ever know since my mom gaslights everything. We have 6 siblings total and we all know the truth. Sad situation to be put in because sometimes grown ups don’t think of the consequences.
Tell her
See, I can’t stand this. If this happened to me, I’d want to know my full family history for health reasons if nothing else, and I’d be pissed if I was being lied to
It’s so scary for those of us raising kids in blended families with a clear black sheep in the mix who we would do anything to connect with but just can’t seem to make it happen :(
Heart breaks for that sister.
Guarantee you.....this sister/woman KNOWS already what the deal is. Her issues stem from the lie she was expected to live and those around coluded to live also.
I am sure she knows.
She unconsciously knows that something isn’t right .. she likely doesn’t have autism just a hard time connecting and trusting because she was lied to her entire life and can feel it
I bet she knows too and all of her behaviour stems from that .
That mother pulled the ultimate narcissist divide and conquer.she knew that secret would drive them apart so she would be the most powerful
Umm..if you have the same mother, then she is your biological half sister....
Why would the mother tell all the other kids; my lord, clearly shes been treated differently but it sounds like the family blames her only. Im glad John came to the sisters defense bcuz u can see the sister was a bit bias and almost clueless that the sister felt this pain all her life.
This is sad. I know good ladies that were in this situation years ago. It all comes out in the end. She needs to encourage mom to tell. Sad. Praying for this family.
John did an amazing job at giving her advice. Videos like this are the reason I'm subscribed.
The part that gets me about the situation, is that everyone else knows, but her half-sister does not. I think it will be that part that she will find hardest to overcome, that everyone else was 'in on it', so will erode her trust about everybody, not just the ones who kept the secret.
"Little Gap", John? No, it's never little, John.
I always knew it was there with me. My mom died in 1981. My dad in 2004. And then I found a box of photos and letters that my mother had kept secret for our whole lives.
And I unravelled the biggest secret left.
My Dad had revealed family secret no. 1 about 10 years earlier. (My oldest brother was born 2 or 2 1/2 years before she met and married my dad.)
Then my mom apparently had an affair 9 months before I was born and told my dad that I was the other guy's child.
Thus, my dad always resented my existence, and I was never treated kindly by either parent.
It really would have been better if I had known what my dad thought, because then I could have laughed and asked him why I looked so much like him.
Or why I was always the best at math in the family, aside from him? (I had A,s in algebra at age 12!)
Or why I remembered dates and directions as well as he did?
He had remarried after my mom's death, and it was his new wife who called him out on all of this. She also said that she thinks my mother had mental issues.
My step mother was one smart lady!
My siblings, or course, don't want to believe and of it. Even though they now know that the name on my birth certificate is not the one my dad gave me and that I grew up with.
(My mother struck again, then burned my birth certificate when it was sent in the mail). I found iut when I was in my 20's, but my mom was dying, so I never discussed it with my dad. He would have viewed it as a betrayal agzinst my mom on my part.
Parent's: please don't weave tangled webs that your children have to unweave as adults.
Honesty is so much better.
Sorry to hear. You should discuss it with home before he passes so you don't regret.
@@sobeliever1638He died in 2004 .
John, you really are incredible at what you do
I don't believe that parents felt the way he described it. Sometimes things happen and someone came along and loved her so much that he loved the baby too.
It's possible. But hearing the family dynamics from the call, I don't think that happened here.
The longer nobody tells the sisters, is the longer she is in pain. The same thing happened to me.
My mum and older sister knew but my dad and I didn’t know. I am very close to my dad despite my parents divorcing when I was a kid. My mum had my older sister long before she married my dad.
I asked both my mum and sister for the last 12 years if my dad was my real dad, but nobody told me the truth.
I had been asking because my intuition knew something was off. You can feel it, when something isn’t right, even though my dad loved me unconditionally.
At 26, my mum finally confessed because my biological dad came looking for me.
I’ve known for a long time I can’t trust my mum through other things that have happened, but I am so mad that my sister had answers and didn’t tell me either.
It’s extremely painful and isolating.
I wish someone had told me the truth sooner.
I don’t think it was fair on my sister to have to hold this secret but it was certainly not fair for me to be lied to.
I deserved to know the truth and so does this woman’s sister. It will hurt but she will be grateful to finally have some answers. The mum definitely needs to apologise but the sister should also be prepared to apologise for not telling her sooner.
My sister did this (not husband's bio son) with her oldest son. I told her, if he asks me directly, I will not lie to him.
You're lying to him now. Lies of omission are lies.
The sister is clearly searching for something that you all continue to hide from her probably making her feel crazy. Like this is so awful on so many levels
The truth is painful, but secrets are crazy making and anyone with integrity will not participate in or contribute to crazy making.
How deceptive of the family!,,, this will have a devastating effect on her ,,and I know how it feels to be the scapegoat, I’m the youngest of four ,, I always felt like I was different,, didn’t belong ,,
She doesn't even have custody of her children. She's already messed up.
I've seen figures speculating that about 2-4% of men unknowingly raise another man's child, so considering how many children are born every year, we're all bound to know at least one. Most of these stories when they come out it's because the woman couldn't keep the secret because it was eating at her (as it should anyone with a conscience). It's devastating to everyone and though the caller didn't choose to be told, I think the moral thing to do would have been to tell her sister immediately. But better late than never.
I would be devastated to find out I was lied to by everyone around me for so long. But I'd want to know so I can make a decision about who I allow in my life...
She was wrong to keep the secret six years.
You tell your mom “mom you tell her or I will!!! You have one month!!”
How cruel to keep that fact from her!!
Dr Delony please try to do a update on this call please and thank you
I really want to know how this turns out. I have a similar suspicion about myself.
This is a whole other level. He's so right that she's felt it in her bones.
I thought the year before this one was bad for me because nothing felt right. It turned out my roommate and my boyfriend each had separate secrets. I found out my roommate's secret when I moved out of the house, she finally told me how mad she'd been at me the whole time even though she tried to be nice and forgive me and not "let it bother her", but it did and she just never told me until after I moved out when she was so angry at me for not renewing my lease.
And my x- boyfriend's when he went on a vacation and found out he was already engaged to a woman who lived in the country where he was visiting.
That was only one year of feeling something was wrong, and not being able to put my foot on it. I can't imagine a life time like that pour lady's sister.
I am number 7 of 8 and only one who does not know who my father is. I believe my mom, aunt and older sister all knew they just never told me.
Siblings, extended family and friends know. Unless she is incredibly naive and has been cloistered from the outside world, she knows. She's surrounded by people who all know. There are too many players to think that they've all conspired, for years, to keep this hidden. She knows.
She knows but she doesn't know. She is gaslight and convinced she is crazy.
@Kell Harris exactly Kim doesn't understand unless it comes from your parents especially your mom you can never be sure.
My farther found out he was adopted at 23 I was 2 my brother was 5. He turned to drugs, developed treatment adverse schizophrenia and he is permanently in treatment. It has caused an unbelievable amount of damage
How big is George? 4’11 102lbs. He’s a short guy.
Omg this has me dead 😂😂😂😂😂
Why would her mother stay with a man who treats her daughter like the redheaded stepchild? Did the mom cheat on him? She is such a selfish person. If I was the other daughter I would never speak to my mother again.
Wow. That's cruel. Excellent response, John!
I can't imagine being that mother - daily rollercoaster of emotions just trying to survive. So cruel to tell everyone, but the child.
I know someone who did the opposite, told the older sibling who her father was, but made the youngest sibling believe that the older sibling had the same father as him.
Wait… she said her son will know…
Did she refer to her sister child as her child?
Is her sister that much out of the picture that she no longer has parental rights?
I’m confused about this situation.
It more so feels like this woman had her parents TELL her she can’t raise her kids. I’m I the only one?
I thought so too. I don't understand why the parents are telling the sister what she should do with her kids. This whole situation is uncomfortable and weird.
The half sister, same morher, should be told. For everyone to know but her is ridiculous.
I can't with Dr. John saying George is 4'11" 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s crazy other family members know and kept quite for 35 years. My family is noisy she would’ve been told as soon as she starts talking 😂
This episode really explained to me so much
First - If they have the same mother they are biological sisters, just half sisters. They share DNA. Probably around 1800 centimorgans. That's high. You match a half sibling with the same amount of DNA as you match a full grandparent or full aunt/uncle. So this 'were not related' stuff is inaccurate.
I am a Search Angel, I use direct to consumer DNA testing to help NPE's like this sister (Non paternal events) & adoptees, etc find out who they are biologically, build their family tree, & connect with their biological family. There are NPE's in every family. She is one quick Ancestry test from finding out. And from my experience 99.999% of bio families accept their newfound family member with open arms. They usually ask for a few days to process the news but we hear back from them by the next day. Also, NPE's come around fast, way easier to work with than adoptees. They can test her children & find out who they are - they NEED immediate family health history. I can't stress that enough. I've had clients whose brain tumors were found on time only because they had just found their biological parent who said, go get checked. You risk lives when you keep this lie.
But keep in mind, when people talk about this they try to make it taboo. It's not. There were certain generations that swept things under the rug. It's not as common now. If you are an NPE you are one of many. There's room in our hearts for more family.
Test, go to a Facebook group called DNA detectives, get yourself a Search Angel. These tests estimate ethnicity so those aren't always fully accurate but matches are 100% accurate no mistakes. Use DNA painters shared centimorgan tool. Each match has a number next to it & it says cM next to it. Enter they number into the tool & it will give relationship options.
Good luck!
I think she misspoke But my thought is how does this person know that the woman is even her mother. Through testing, yes. But at the time she heard this and since, she has been wondering what else the mom lied about. It is not this woman’s responsibility to tell her sister what everyone else in the family knows. If her “mom” refuses to come clean, then yes she is put in the middle because of her conscience and sense of what’s right. This “mom” is no mom. She is evil.
Wow! Super cool
"I don't know what that is..." 😂😂😂
Hahah had me dying since Baker Mayfield is a NFL player so it is a person 😂
She will feel SO upset that they all knew.
This is just a so sad and infuriating. The horrible things we can do to our kids to mess them up. The same thing happened to my poor aunt. She was the middle child and grandma had an affair. She was treated by her siblings. I loved her she was my favorite auntie. But man what a sad situation
"we found Osama bin laden. Dude can be found" no excuses bro!!!!
Thank you John for telling this family the truth. They are trying to protect them selves. Not her sister.
I am in a situation as a grandmother; my 10 yr old grandson doesn't know that my son is not his biological father. I have pleaded with his parents (they broke up when he was 2) to tell him but for whatever reason they haven't - I don't know what to do but I want him to know 🥴
I was 16 when I found out my dad wasn’t my biological father. Pretty much all of my family knew. It was so hurtful and has changed me forever. It’s harder to trust people. I wish someone would’ve told me way sooner. Please consider telling your grandsons parents that you don’t feel comfortable keeping this secret anymore. The boy deserves to know or it might mess him up when he finds out as an adult, because he WILL find out…
Tell them to tell him or you will.
My sister and I found out our older brother is adopted and we were in our 50s - it took 3 years to convince his wife (who had known for 20 years due to needing some medical information) and my sister to tell him and we finally did (parents no longer alive). Everyone around us knew except for my sister and I and my brother. Best thing we could have done and although not easy, he took it pretty well except for the part that everyone knew. It is all good now.
I love this show.
This really made me tear up. I can’t imagine
Well, if you're going to tell her, wait until January, as you don't want to kill her holiday's.
No tell her before then so her mother has every opportunity to answer all questions
I love how she was like I don't know who that is...she just did not care at all. Lol
It's so cool that Dr. John is friends with George Costanza.
Does anyone else get the impression that these calls aren't spontaneous? That he's acting like he doesn't know what the call is about but he's faking.
Correct!
The calls are planned. People call or email with their question and the producers choose which calls John takes. He know what the questions are about but doesn’t know the details.
he often said things about how he knew the what the call was about, not really a secret i think
He obviously has some insight as they write in to the show. They decide which calls to put in. Some times he adds specific information about their story that seems only possible with prior knowledge
This same thing happened to my cousin. She was way older when she found out - like maybe at least 50. And many (most?) other family members knew all along, including me. We didnt feel like it was our place to tell her. I knew because my mother (her aunt) was a small child living at home when big sister (unmarried) came home with a baby. This was a big deal and shameful in the 1940s.
I think that's a lot more forgivable in 1940s 50s etc.
I suspicious my older brother and me don't share the same biological father,I think my mom had a affair with a man who is a principle and had my brother , but she lied to my brother and me and my dad who is still alive , some day hope I can do a DNA testing with my brother to find out are we half siblings
The sister needs closure.
Deep and helpful…..
I hope people don't take his words on ADHD and start blaming mothers for their child having it because there are obviously mothers who kids have ADHD who did not have stressful pregnancies.
That’s a worry, obviously, but it’s a real thing
I don't like this caller or how she's handling this. She should have told her right away. I feel so bad for her sister. She was mentally damaged by how her imposter father and mother treated her. They literally destroyed her for their own selfishness.
Wow! This is insanely cruel
Oh man... This is awful 😔
😧 - this is chilling.😞. 🙏
Yess!!!!! 💯
Wait, aren’t they half siblings? Same mom different dad?
She’s not going to say anything
This is so effed up.
Hé went from 20 14 to 7 days lol
I would want to know the truth. I won’t keep other people’s secret
3:40 - Dr. John. You would have just won a twin to your truck on that bet if looking into my life.
That's a great script for a latino telenovela...
Notice how the time Mom has to have this conversation keeps getting shorter and shorter! 🤔
Secrets destroy families.
Moms are sick 🤦♂️
She knows….
Wow...
3 children from 3 different men. I have no more to say….
Don't fully agree.
She's raising a child which isn't hers and she loves him.
Where is it said the father didn't accept her sister?? Sometimes people have issues. The sister made some bad choices.
Dang