Psychiatrist Explains Why You Feel Tired All The Time (No Matter What You Do...)
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2024
- Join me for an important discussion on the topic of fatigue. Today, we're delving into the roots of tiredness to uncover effective strategies for overcoming it.
Check out Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health bit.ly/45NirwY
Understanding why we experience fatigue is the first step toward combating it. In this video, we'll explore the various factors that contribute to feeling tired, from physical exertion to emotional and mental stressors. By unpacking these causes, we'll gain valuable insights into how to address and alleviate tiredness effectively.
We’re here to help you take control of your mental health and your life.
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
02:22 - Immediate exhaustion
07:07 - Evolution
11:06 - Emotions are physiological
13:20 - What is my body telling me not to do?
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#beingtired #tiredness #healthygamergg
I have two types of tiredness. The good tired. When you worked hard, exercised, whatever and it makes sense to be/feel tired. The bad tired, that doesn't seem to make sense. When you did little, had a good meal, good night's rest and you should just feel ok, but for some reason you feel/are tired.
Yup same
the bad tired is when you just dont want to do anything at all
i guess it’s the nagging feeling that you didn’t do anything and therefore aren’t progressing. at least that’s why I have that feeling sometimes
Emotional exhaustion is so much worse than physical. Physical like yeah I’m pooped, but I feel accomplished, stronger, etc. the bad tired though is debilitating. I often wonder if it’s just the brain too sort of decompressing when you get some free time on top of not wanting to deal with stress.
@@mister_duke yeah same and with physical you can feel and see it when you keep doing manual work or something or working out, the brain also gives us good feel chemicals after a workout or walk or something too. Mental stress? That just causes burn out, anger, anxiety…
The most relaxed I've felt in years was when I was admitted for 10 days for severe COVID so my boss and coworkers stopped bothering me for a while. There is something seriously wrong about how we live our lives today.
It helped for me to take a pay cut and transition to a job where I'm mostly interacting with "disposable" customers that I never talk to again, rather than managing actual relationships with coworkers and bosses. It removed all the social obligation and guilt from my day-to-day communications.
Quit that job as soon as you can. It sounds like it’s toxic in your life and actively harming you on all levels of your being.
@@-Monad- That's good advice, thank you!
@@blue_sky_bright_sun7599 I really needed to hear that. Thank you!
Had a similar experience with covid but not as bad. I felt really good comparably after getting 5 days off from covid.i usually work and Pick up everyone's tasks but still like i am in slow motion and distant.
My psychiatrist just recommended me for a sleep study. I hear people talking about jumping out of bed in the morning, full of joy and ready to take on the world. I have no idea what that feels like. I can't remember ever feeling that way, even as a child. My parents constantly called me "lazy", like it was a conscious choice. I don't choose to feel tired, it's just my everyday state of being.
So as a naturally lazy person this is my cheat. Now everything the Dr is saying is true, so see this as an additional cheat that certainly works for me.
Its working out in the morning, followed by...and this is important..a cold shower. I do this and I won't feel tired at all, until maybe the end of the day. With very rare exceptions, this always works for me.
..
@@MyAnalyser may I ask a few questions?? Because that stuff sounds impossible to me. Are you working out at home? Are you doing it right after getting out of bed, or do you eat beforehand, for example? And how do you have time for a workout?
Because for me as an ultimate lazy ass is important to sleep until the very last minute I can afford, get up, do the routine and go out of the house. I'm no morning person, that's why I'm asking. Maybe it can suit me at some point
@@user-ij7tj8jc8r I use to be like that. Exactly like you. I brought discipline in my life. The secret is getting up much earlier. I wake up 6AM, brush my teeth, go to the gym work out, get back home, shower cold, eat my breakfast and then go work.
It sounds hard to do, it requires discipline. Teach yourself and make this your habit. You will feel stronger, more fit, sharper troughout the entire day. It will help you in hour career too and in your relationships. You will feel far less tired troughout the day then when you are in lazy mode. You dont need to sleep to the last minute, thats a lie you've told yourself. You need to do the opposite, you need to wake up earlier and if your body needs more sleep you need to go to bed earlier. There has been scientific research on this, but nightowls don't really exist, everyone functions better by getting up early and going to bed earlier. You just need to be strong and teach yourself the art of discipline. Its the most powerful superpower you can acquire.
@@user-ij7tj8jc8r well, when I made myself become a morning person, my tiredness went away for the most part. It’s back now, but because I’ve fallen back into old habits. I’m gonna try to become a morning person again. A big part that had helped me was having a mission to wake up for; I was abroad for a special Christian trip/pilgrimage. So find that mission to wake up early for and it’ll help a ton. Our bodies were meant to rise with the sun, and that’s why sunlight wakes us up.
I have always found that if I wake up in the morning in good health and I have something to do shortly after that I wake up feeling good, but if I have no specific plans then I feel tired and I want to stay in bed a few more hours. The difference is most notable for things that are not daily tasks which I want to do. So, stuff like getting lunch with friends. Thinking of this through the lens of the video, it becomes clear what is happening. If you enjoy something and you're looking forward to it then your brain won't trick you into thinking it's a waste of energy. Try to think of things you enjoy doing and use them as motivation to get started each day. Just be careful not to pick something that's easy to get absorbed into for hours on end 😅 A fun task that has a clear end point can be huge for getting you moving in the mornings.
An important point that i think should have been mentioned is that this is how depression works, your mind will gradually increase the expacting amount of energy needed for simple tasks and make you feel constantly tired just by the thought of answering your phone, opening the door, ordering food. If you let the tiredness controll you and fall into this spiral you may eventually become a shut-in.
I have heard many people talk about what their psychiatrists tell them to do but this video clearly and simply explain why you should do them and why your brain is acting the way it is. Really good job!
Who uses a phonr in 2023? LOL, what.
People don't use phones anymore? What
@@o0kaelas phone calls are less used, yes.
@@lolerie as a form of social communication? yeah theyre much less used. If you are expecting to be contacted by a doctor, therapist, buisness usually those things are by phone call still.
@@o0kaelas people really gave up on it though. The quality did not get good until HD+, but at that point you could use even E2EE voice chats. With close to lossless sometimes sound.
Fair warning: my girlfriend was exhausted for years. She was depressed and the doctors explained that her exhaustion was caused by the depression. About 6 months into our relationship I said, "It's wild how you don't have narcolepsy." She was like, "what?" She had no idea what narcolepsy was. I assumed the first thing they would have done was sleep testing, but the doctor never did. They just said you're probably depressed and didn't help her for years. She didn't even have to finish the sleep test. It was so clear she had narcolepsy, they let her leave early. Turns out she hadn't ever received a full night of sleep. Her brain wouldn't shut down enough during sleep. My point is, if you are really, reallly tired. Try to see a sleep specialist.
Yup, this! I was exhausted at university, falling asleep in lectures all over the place. I thought I was just bad at getting sleep, and organising myself. Turns out I had:
- Undiagnosed low thyroid.
- Undiagnosed sleep apnea.
- Undiagnosed ADHD
- Some kind of sleep/wake disorder that screws up my body clock.
How the heck I was still concious and learning anything is a complete mystery to me.
wait, so you don't have to be randomly falling asleep for it to be narcolepsy? I always assumed I could never have it because I don't just randomly fall asleep. I know I never get a full rest because I know I don't go into REM sleep. Sleeping kind of just feels like blacking out and then waking up again instantly because I don't dream.
@@lambybunny7173 Yeah, when I was younger I thought people just collapsed and fell asleep when they had narcolepsy. That's not always the case, though. She's only had one time where she's just straight up fallen asleep while walking and that was years into having a diagnosis. She doesn't drive for longer than 30 min at a time, and not before a certain time, because she gets way too drowsy too early or in the car too long. She might fall asleep in the car, but it's not like she's wide awake and then just passes out with little warning, though. She's just realllllly worn out and drowsy. Most of the time, her main symptoms are just going through life absolutely exhausted. That and she sometimes has hypnogogic hallucinations as a result. Luckily, she's an artist so she gets to paint the weird s*** she sees and gets to make some $$$ with it, but yeah I think the symptoms can be moderately diverse. I think a lot of people specifically have extra vivid dreams with narcolepsy, but it's not 100% standard if I remember correctly. If you think it might be an issue I'd try to schedule a sleep study. I only really fully understand the symptoms as they pertain to her, so I'm not sure how it is for everyone. It might not be narcolepsy but it could be something else messing you up. Either way your sleep sounds pretty disrupted. If it is narcolepsy, though, a medication (xyrem- spelling could be incorrect) was released not too long ago that helps force your brain actually fall asleep (tbh it's essentially roofies). The other alternative is basically stimulants like methylphenidate. You don't get any more actual sleep, but you basically get wired and can function a bit better. One last thing: it's worth noting that narcolepsy is actually an immune disorder, so it can be triggered later in life as the result of a flu or something similar.
My mother in law went through a few weeks of being kind of exhausted progressing to just full out exhaustion. She did a sleep test and turns out she had sleep apnea. I think they went right to a sleep test because it was almost like a switch flipped and she wasn't getting good sleep.
Most medical issues can be solved without stripping your bank account and handing it to the pharmaceutical industry but most of you have been trained into it like pavloves dogs.
I have ADHD and this is really how my brain functioned when I was depressed and was in college. My brain perceived any task as a big task, be it washing dishes or writing a paper. All my tasks became a giant pile of rocks on my back, and even thinking about having to complete 1 or 2 of them to make the load lighter was tiring. I felt tired all the time.
Did you get better?
@@DayGamerBr Yeah. I basically had to come to terms with the fact that it was, in fact, depression, and I had to work on that a lot. Plus I picked up any and all advice on getting better that I could find. What made a difference was realizing that I could half-a*s the tasks in college just to pass, and that taking little steps is okay. Also, had to work A LOT on the feeling of guilt, don't even know why it was an issue.
Same. But I still have this issue. Especially after I’ve hyper-focused on something and then have no energy left for anything else. So, I oscillate between occasionally accomplishing one thing and then crashing and being unable to do anything for a while. It’s rough. I’m happy for you that you found a way past it.
@@leilatimeful Do not despair! You're already doing so much just having to deal with it! You are so wonderful! I hope it gets better for you as well, and for anyone who feels the same! ❤🩹
I have ADHD too, but I can't watch a video like this. After less than 5 minutes I stop it out of frustration and anger while thinking "Stop repeating yourself and stop giving me all this irrelevant information - Just get to the point please!
I've been saying for a while that the reason we're all so tapped out all the time is because life has moved into a pace that is unsustainable. Humans used to live by an incredibly different and less intense schedule, something that's only really changed in the last hundred and fifty years. Our bodies and minds can't adapt as quickly as society does, but because of societal conditioning we *think* we have/should have. So in essence every day you ask your body for a level of energy it wasn't made to regularly output for work and family and all your interests and all that...but we don't rest enough to recharge it. This is something that's compounded if you have any sort of mental health condition but especially depression. And yet we all expect each other to go on like none of that is happening. Its not a mystery why we would then all constantly feel exhausted. The feeling of being tired is there to tell you you need to slow down. Our society forcing us to ignore that leads to exhaustion, and I don't know about y’all but being exhausted and barely making headway in the world despite that? Pretty depressing to me. Its a cycle and until we change it on a larger scale, its not one we're breaking out of any time soon.
When I was "on" videogames, I was energized for days and days, played 18 hours a day, slept only 6…
It was stressful, yet I had copious amounts of energy.
Thinking about doing my taxes (takes 1-2 hours total), or working on my book: never enough energy…
It‘s not the schedule. It‘s the feeling the task gives us.
I could agree with you that maybe the current world require more "mental energy" but I'm pretty sure that most people 150 years ago did a lot more physical work than today on average.
@@Zett76 boy. When your work sucks, your coworkers suck and your boss suck. What attitude do you need not to get tired alone from thinking of this? Weed? 😂
@@remote24 well. The attitude I'm getting here: EVERYTHING sucks. 😁
What would be a not-sucking job, for you?
(by the way: if you're a gamer, NOTHING is as great as your favorite games. Compared to them, even the best jobs suck...)
@@ichorousmedia Physical work can be a good kind of tired though, like how your body feels good from exercise. Mental work (unless you enjoy it and are in the zone) often involves sitting and, in today's world, a lot of context-switching and eye strain and bad posture and stress, which are all fatiguing.
You hit the nail exactly on the head when it comes to ADHD. Start nothing. The "reward centre" is broken, so I checked 15 tasks, some of them difficult, off my to-do list today... and it's just... on to the next one. There's no "ding!" of feeling good, feeling accomplished. It's just. Done. And So Many Things are just exhausting.
THAT is why ADHD can be a disability. No, it can't just be "gotten over." If that was a real thing, I'd have done it already. But meds to help have been in worldwide shortage for a couple years now AND docs act like the idea of treating ADHD with *actual medicine* is like giving someone heroin. I spent years not knowing why my life was just... ruined. All the time. No matter how hard I tried. I got counselled for ANXIETY (a baseless belief or expectation) because of the very tangible, provable instances that *kept happening.* Because why would you medicate someone with a dopamine disorder. Feeling tired allll the time isn't always just depression. There's just no reward. Apparently people really DO feel good about doing things sometimes? They're not just bragging or faking it for accolades? .............. weird. I get exhausted looking at having to do dishes. There will just be dishes tomorrow. I will expend a tonne of energy (especially compared to what I have) and then in 24 hours, it's meaningless. No reward. Tired.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I was put on antidepressants to bring down my anxiety so my therapist could diagnose my ADHD with me at "baseline". Unfortunately, I moved to a different state and my doctor I was also consulting with for my meds couldn't prescribe ADHD meds outside of the state I moved out of. The antidepressant I was on caused me to start feeling physically exhausted, but when I reached out to a doctor's office that's in-network they tell me that they don't have an opening for 5 months! So I reached out to a psychiatric nurse practitioner about getting off the antidepressants. Instead, she said that the meds I was on was managing my anxiety, so she put me on another antidepressant to counteract the exhaustion. It's helped to some extent, but I still want to get on ADHD meds. I would love to get a proper night's sleep because my Garmin watch says I don't get enough deep sleep and I'm often restless. The gatekeeping over ADHD meds is fucking frustrating because only doctors can prescribe ADHD meds, psychiatric nurse practitioners cannot...
@@jessicawilson1751 are you married?
@@mingus445_gaming what's up with that question? lol
@@null_pointer_deref i actually have no idea why i asked that
Blud chill, you are overthinking it.
My Mom has often said to me that Depression isn't when you're too sad, it's when everything is too *hard*. I find, for the reasons this video explains incredibly well, that Depression is just being tired *all the time*.
The only problem with Depression on this front is that molehills are indistinguishable from mountains, so breaking the mountain down into smaller bits just multiplies the mountains. At that point, though, depression itself really IS the problem.
@@EmberLeo damn fr
I know for me depression is inability to feel happy.
@@matthewcharles9813 that might be anhedonia, which often accompanies depression.
The worst part of depression is that it also has a chemical component to it, and if you can come out of it, it just gets worse.
As a kid I was told “once begun, half done”. That is so true. A game I play with myself when I’m felling overwhelmed is to set the timer for 15 minutes and hit it like a hand grenade. Work my ass off for 15 minutes with intense focus. At the end of the time I very often feel inspired to continue and the next thing I know, the foundation is in place and it’s much easier to consistently work on the project.
I love that!
I tried that, sometimes it works. Unfortunatly i lack the focus to stay focused 15 min. And i still need prepping to find motivation to start.
I’ve heard this works well for neurotypicals. Man I was so frustrated when I tried every advice out there for staying focused until I discovered it was my undiagnosed ADHD 😂. Damn I wish I could just get up and start working on a task without distractions or 100 thoughts racing through my head. I envy y’all
IM BOUTTA STEAL!!!
@@distracted5767 reduce it then. Remember how the British took india. Divide and conquer.
I used to work at a tire factory, but I quit that job since I felt tired all the time. So I started working for an exhaust factory instead, and I ended up quitting that one since I was so exhausted. Then I switched fields and went into banking, but that job did not last since I lost interest. Next, I worked for the IRS but quit that job too since it was too taxing. I then got hired at a crematory, but I got burnt out. But after all of this, I finally found a job that I can really see myself doing at a mirror factory.
You are a pun genius
😂😂
😂
This was fantastic
I caught onto the puns a little later than I’d like to admit 😂😂
Fatigue can be a symptom of many physical illnesses as well. I have been exhausted for years. Come to find out I had hypothyroidism/Hashimoto’s disease, extremely low vitamin D, thyroid cancer, fibromyalgia and a bunch of other things. I thought I was burnt out at first. I knew I was sick cuz I felt like something was wrong but the doctors kept telling me it was anxiety and depression since I suffered from those in the past. Listen to your body, you know yourself best.
So how did you get all of your diagnoses if doctors thought it was depression and anxiety?
@@halcyon-cg2eb I found a good doctor who actually listened and cared, and took the time to run tests, thank God. An MRI found I had a mass in my thyroid. I then got an ultrasound and a biopsy. Turned out I have thyroid cancer, which was blocking it in my blood work to show that I had hypothyroidism/ hashimoto’s disease.
Not saying this is the case for everyone, or dismissing what this video says entirely. I’m just letting people know what happened to me because I suffered for about 4 years and I kept believing my first PCP and then hated myself for it, which mad it worse. I don’t want it happening to anyone else.
@@johanna9936 I'm glad you eventually found answers to your health problems. Yes, you need to keep looking for a good doctor until you find one! I also believe that people should take charge of their own health and do the research and not leave everything up to the almighty doctors : )
@@johanna9936 Hope the recovery goes well!
@@cateater999 thank you!
I feel like my tiredness comes from overthinking and/or thinking too many steps ahead. I'm unable to chop big tasks into smaller ones and that leads to feeling that every task is overwhelming. I always start learning things with motivation, but as soon as I get deeper into it and know much more about it - I know how much more I don't know yet. Thinking about that causes tiredness indeed. So as usual - I leave things unfinished. And I blame myself for it. It's like broken loop I can't get out of.
Maybe speak to a psychiatrist about adhd
This is exexutive dysfunction I think, because I suffer from the same problem. I haven't quite figured it out either, but good luck!!
So relatable
Same here! 🙋🏼♀️ never finishing anything…it’s just thinking to much ahead that’s overwhelming and evaluating all the possibilities, is more of an anxiety thing that anything else, but I don’t think it’s an actual disorder that needs medication or something like that. I go to therapy and that helps
@@yaniwet Hello, any tips what actually could help me with this problem that I can do on my own?
As a sleep researcher, we distinguish between sleepiness (propensity to fall asleep) and fatigue (perceiving a lack of resources to manage the current stress level) which I find useful in this scenario
Hello, excuse me, I'm not sure if asking this is appropriate and I would understand if you feel like not answering, but everytime I am in a stressing situation, or when I have some work to do (right now it's because of my thesis), I directly feel tired, like what was explained in the video. But the thing is, even when I manage to get myself to begin the tasks that cause the exhaustion, I can't help but feel sleepy and fall asleep, no matter how much I try to fight it, so I have to do something I find more entertaining to be able to stay awake, and when I go back to the task, the sleepiness comes back again. I also sleep a lot (although I sleep really late but also wake up really late) and even with that I still fall asleep in those situations. In this case, is it a problem of fatigue and tireness like explained in the video or might it be something else related to sleep? I'm sorry.
@@hents5542 I experienced the same for a large part of my life. It turned out to be ADHD and getting treatment has really helped.
@@klomppi Thank you very much, I haven't seen a professional about it but I read many things about ADHD and there are some symptoms I relate too, but I can't say for sure. I can't seek for professional help yet right now due to my situation but I will try to when I am able to afford it. Thanks again.
@@klomppi ADHD does not explain any correlation with tireness. It feels to me you are trying to infer too general correlation. It's like calling all lazy people ADHD
@@Andrey-il8rh All I ever did was provide an anecdote, which I deemed relevant as my experience was extremely similar. Obviously the cause can be many different things. But I will add that fatigue and daytime sleepiness are symptoms commonly associated with ADHD, so there definitely is a correlation.
You nailed it. I had a job cleaning at events, emptying bins. The problem was we were over staffed and there was no work to be done, yet i was expected to look busy by management. This was exhausting for me because i grew bored real quick just walking around in circles at the event occasoinally picking up tiny pieces of litter . I had to quit that job because it wasn't worth standing up for 8 hours a day. If there was more work to be done i would have felt less exhausted. My brain told me this by giving me the sensation of being tired.
Visiting my grandmother always made me tired. Then she had a stroke, had to live with us& and I started caregiving for her. I am constantly exhausted.
These times are hard, you will get through it. Your grandma may not be with you much longer. Cherish these times, no matter how hard they get.
The worst type of tiredness I've experienced in my life was after a day of overthinking about things I need to do and not actually doing any of them. Feeling tired and guilty, a great combo. But I also noticed that chunking a huge task into pieces also takes a lot of mental effort which also kind of exhausts me. Especially if I'm supposed to plan out activities for both me and others or explain to someone how to do something. Mental load is exhausting. Women everywhere have been telling you this for ages. It's not the activities themselves that tire us, it's the overwhelming tasks and either delegating or bearing the entire invisible workload.
YES
Why just women? Not in an aggressive way- I’m just wondering if there’s something I’m missing here
@@silasonyoutube555 'cause women historically have been doing the “invisible” house work and raising children which to men wasn't/isn't work at all.
@@anastasinscreed I'm the owner of a penis (admittedly never been in a relationship) but I have to do the housework for my housemates who won't, which is two men and two women. The girls at least keep their rooms decently clean, but I'm the only one who takes care of the common areas. (Kitchen, bathroom, livingroom, dining room, family room, hallways, etc) on top of having to do the 'manly' handy stuff and fixing things. Its 2023 man, gender roles ain't still like that everywhere.
@@drexel3987 i mean the original comment said 'ages' It's not about gender roles *now*
This made me realize I don't find my mom exhausting just because there's something inherently exhausting about her but because I know any time I try to invest in telling her something important is just wasted time. Fascinating. Thanks for the epiphany.
i don't think i've ever related more to a person
Same thing with my guardian
The thought of being near my son and his wife is exhausting, and causes anxiety for me.
Emotional neglect, deflection and defensiveness
Wow! 1000% relatable 😔
Life hack for y'all: As an adult, you don't have to go "home" for the holidays. You could just not. That *is* an option. If the very idea of going there gives you existential dread, then quite frankly, it's not even "home" anymore. Just stay in your actual home and hang out with the people you actually want to hang out with. You don't owe anybody anything, you're a grown-up.
THIS THIS THIS! A Million times this. If your family wants to be home again they can be better people and try again next year.
@@Reblwitoutacause I see where you're coming from. But in some cases there never was any community at all in the first place.
i do believe that you owe people basic respect and understanding. texting them ‘i cant make it’ will keep a healthy communication going. you do owe people kindness even if they’re strangers or family.
@@farihafarid802 Kindness =/= making yourself uncomfortable for other people's sake. If you don't want to see them, there's no need to keep any kind of communication going. You don't owe anybody ANYTHING. That's bullshit societal pressure telling you that.
@@SkilesHasFunThat also means that nobody else owes YOU anything
OMG! That's huge meant to me. You have just cracked what I've been felling this 'feeling' so far. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Keep it up Doc.
I cannot stress this enough, but if you're tired a lot of the time and have trouble sleeping you should consider having a sleep study done. I had one done recently and was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and now I'm (hopefully) on the road to recovery and good rest.
Cool!
I have a sleep study coming up in a couple months. My doctor wants me to go cuz he thinks I might have narcolepsy
There are so many things that could be causing chronic fatigue and a sleep study is one of the first things you should try in order to fix the issue, 100%
also check for stuff like bruxism. its something hard to notice by yourself and can lead to bigger problems if goes untreated
Yeah but that accounts maybe for 0.005% of persons in general that are having a lack of energy druing the day. There can be ultimately a tremendous amount of underlying diseases that can cause insomnia and lack of energy, so I wouldnt fixate on sleep apnea being the issue.
If you have ADHD (or depression), you might not even feel good when you actually worked on a task. What helps me is to split into micro tasks : if instead of "write my dissertation", you convince yourself that what you have to do is "read two pages of this article" or "make a very imperfect first draft of this part in 10 minutes", then it's a bit easier to unlock an achievement.
That's what I was thinking throughout this whole video, completing tasks doesn't feel good like everyone says it does. I get no enjoyment from scratching something off my list. Like, his example of doing taxes, if I spent 2 hours working on my taxes I wouldn't feel good about it at the end, I know I would come out of that frustrated, pissed off, and full of dread knowing I have to do it all again tomorrow. And breaking tasks down into smaller tasks doesn't seem to help because instead of one big scary task, I now have a huge pile of small scary tasks that aren't any easier to get started on, and don't feel any better for accomplishing.
after almost 30 years since my ADD/ADHD diagnosis. i have not fixed it, but i have got so much better at knowing myself and know when to push myself and when not to push myself. i am 3 years into a solo game development, and never felt more excited and full of energy.
Oh gosh YES! Getting things done *never* offers any relief, let alone feeling proud, accomplished etc.. I am just more tired and the do-do list is not even dented.
I can do a zillion tasks but never once feel "the warm glow of satisfaction of a job well done" just the faintest relief combined with a monster-exhaustion. I will never understand the near orgasmic experience some people have when they loaded a washingmachine or something likewise mundane, repetitive and stupid...
The problem with shrinking your goals to take advantage of your minds inclination to play games is that you can trick yourself into not accomplishing anything by telling yourself that you "got an achievement" for not really doing anything significant.
@@Latronibus I am in two minds about this.
First: it is not about patting yourself on the back for absolutely nothing.
If getting out of bed, and putting on clothes is the best you can do that day -(been there, done that when very very depresssed) it is not "not doing anything insignificant".
One managed to get moving and do a' normal' thingy.
No matter how small...it is A Big Step and it feels like climbing a moutain.
(climbing moutains is easier btw/ been there, done that as well)
But...
Second: if you are capable of doing something but making excuses ("I feel too bad to actually..." while can do them, but just loath that task) you should receive a kick in the pants ( by you or someone else) to go get it done.
(kickstarting? ;) )
Some people try their mightiest and fail (that moment, that day, that week...), some are too used to just not even try or give up trying after the first minute or so.
But ADHD (and every other chronic illness in the book) is NOT an excuse not to grow some backbone. (And I see that latter a lot! esp. some snowflakes to genZ on soc. media as well as real life are pathetic. They get the most support but refuse to put in the work. And are a horror to others as well.)
ADHD etc. are handicaps of the mind, not a privilge-inducing-quirk that comes with a "get out of working on it for free" card!
It complety sucks, but it is also your issue to learn to deal with.
(And yes: learn: of course we are allowed to fail, but it is mandatory to keep trying!)
That is why I am so happy channels like these exist, where we can find and exchange tips to make the journey easier (for ourselves, but also others who are affected by our behaviour, lack of consistancy in the workplace, semi-inabillity to be one time etc.etc. etc.etc..)
Reaching goals is good, even if it does not give you a buzz ( never in my life experienced much satisfaction on finishing anything large or small, except the smallest relief that at least I could cross it of the the to-do-list....for now anyway, and could stop doing it. That is anything from tying my shoes to sighning my bacherlors-diploma, it all means exactly the same: it got done, move on.)
You've been through a lot dr. K. I gotta say I respect you a lot for the growth you have experienced and now helping a bunch of us getting through some stuff. Honestly this channel is a gem
I’m a medical student and the exams is very hard no matter how much I study I still get bad grades that’s why through the years I developed chronic fatigue whenever I have to study I feel very tired and depressed because I didn’t see any point of studying anymore. You explained everything I’m going through
1:07
There is another type of toredness when you are socially drained as an introvert. It feels completely different but will oftentimes end in lots of sleep and need for alonetime. Sometimes I feel like this society doesnt work for the most of us.
The video actually really helped me btw so thanks a lot!
I also feel tired if I don't socially interact for too long (more than two days). I am in/ex-troverted.
An ambivert?
@@millie9814 In my experience regardless of being an introvert, you still have a fundamental need to socialise. I get exhausted talking to people, but my mental issues get far worse whenever I'm not regularly interacting with people. I see introversion as having socialisation drain your social battery, but introverts still need to have that interaction, especially as someone who's pretty young.
@@mordankrahen4234 I agree with and relate to everything you said 100%
We call it many things but I believe it's at its base, a type of anxiety, which is draining.
Tiredness being an emotional state of conservation explains why I'm always so exhausted in anticipation of an event, but I'm rarely tired during and after it
Omg yes!! This is always me too
Same for me!
I have a similar experience, I feel tired literally all the time - I'm fine at social functions and in the office etc, but generally, I'm just tired all the time. I'm not sure what it is though, I could sleep whenever, wherever....Every day just feels like a struggle, all the time and I can't wait for it to be bed time again so I can just switch off and be left alone.
@@MissSydney81holy shit! That's literally me.
That makes so much sense.
It's honestly fascinating to think about it this way because I've been going to therapy for over a year and only recently finally figured out through the process and plenty of introspective that basically all of my emotional issues come from the perception that everything I do is a failure (or it's never good enough) and this began to couple with a fear of failure, where I tend to just not do things that I perceive as something I am likely, or even just have the possibility to fail at (or again, just not do as good as I think it should be done).
And I never thought to connect that to the fact that I am perpetually tired. I always attributed it to poor sleep patterns and habits, and whenever I tried to do something about those I gave up pretty early due to not seeing any improvement, retrospectively thinking that that's the problem, that I didn't commit hard enough (which also led to considering it a failure and having a harder time trying again because I thought I'd just fail again).
But considering how much I think about pretty much any activity before doing it, it makes sense that the amount of mental preparation I do could lead my mind to thinking its a monumental task and thus make me feel tired as a way to stop me from doing it, especially considering I do all that preparation because I fear failure, so if I perceive the most likely outcome to be failing to complete the task and feeling bad about trying to do it, why bother even trying in the first place?
The obvious question is how to break out of that vicious cycle...
Going to just comment here so hopefully when someone gives you a reply about how to break out of that I see it haha
Look into toxic shame concept. I'm working with it myself now. But the work is slow
ADHD can make you overthink everything and every task including things like showering. Just knowing this has helped - that other people do this too.
I'm the exact same omg!!! Hope you're doing better now, but it's also okay if you're not. Currently, I'm stuck in that state of wanting to do things but not actually doing any of them because of overthinking, then feeling the shame for not doing it. And even when I do it and there's a momentum going, I still feel easily exhausted after a short while, then I'd have to nap. Or I'd be so tired that I just pass out while doing the task. It makes completing anything so arduous.
There's definitely a distinct difference between being tired and being fatigued (what is discussed in this video). You'll find being tired from a day of hard work, assuming you get some time off to recover and it isn't TOO back breaking, will often leave you feeling pretty good and successful. The right kind of tired can almost feel comfy in a way. Mental fatigue on the other hand rarely feels good even at the end of the day and can be a lot more taxing comparatively. The human body is evolved for a certain amount of physical toil and craves it, while I doubt it is nearly as well adapted for repetitive, strenuous, menial (or perceived menial) mental tasks.
Let’s face it, most cognitive tasks carried out today in the west are menial as all get out and are to carry out functions that aren’t really needed either. Marx’s theory of alienation is real at some level, as much as I’m not a Marxist
It’s adapted to fight or flight. Mental tasks aren’t a problem. But feeling stressed over and over triggers the fight or flight hormones that do some odd things to get you quickly away from danger… if the danger is chronic stress, you get sick from the things caused by those hormones flooding you everyday. Physical exercise actually helps get rid of some of that, but sometimes it’s not enough. And it’s hard to exercise when you already feel exhausted from those hormones.
This annoys me when people talk about tiredness and physical fatigue too. My MS caused physical fatigue and if I say I can’t or couldn’t do something because of fatigue, there’s often someone who will say something akin to “oh I get tired/worn out too, you’ve just got to push through it” 🙄
It’s like, no, different thing mate. Fatigue you cannot ‘push through’.
"The human body is evolved for a certain amount of physical toil and craves it, ..." I guess that depends on how you are put together. I have never ever liked exertion. As I child I avoided sports, and as an adult I've avoided anything that is going to make my muscles hurt. On the other hand I LOVE exercising my brain! At 70, it's doubtful I can change now. And, yes, I've been called lazy all my life, but that's just the way I'm wired.
I think you swapped the two. Fatigue is physiological. Tiredness is a feeling.
This actually makes so much sense, why I felt more energetic when I was on anxiety meds even though it is supposed to be a sedative. It didn't give me energy, just took away the mechanism of my brain telling me not to bother to do anything.
Be careful of anxiolytics. Do some research about benzodiazepine withdrawal.
@@whitepouch0904 Oh I'm definitely aware. I'm off them now for that reason. But that was the only period of time I was able to be a functional human being. Since then I struggle to do basic tasks because sometimes the idea of washing dishes or getting out of bed feels like putting my hand on a hot stove
For what it’s worth me and my sis take citalopram 30mg for anxiety and it’s working really well for us. It’s not a benzo just an SSRI :)
@@Acehigh-Jenkins Lexapro? Escitalopram/citalopram is just a generic antidepressant SSRI. Or rather yes, it helps a lot of ppl. Just not everyone. I've tried all the SSRI's and should have tried SNRI's earlier. Atm I'm trying Vyvanse and suffering lol. I give up. But some ppl get their anxiety in check by SSRIs and especially if taking ADHD meds combined with an SNRI og SSRI, it should be better. My therapist is just dumb af and won't do anything to help me besides telling me to use a planner. I don't like the thought of suicide being the only thing to make him and everyone realize how much I'm suffering.
@@Acehigh-Jenkins I tried that but unfortunately it made me violently sick like awake all night sweating and vomiting. Which is why they gave me the benzos, which helped but I stopped taking them because I didn't want to be addicted to it for the rest of my life. I want to try adhd meds but they won't give them to me in this country :/ idk I just wish there was something that would make me capable of basic functioning like everyone else seems to be able to do
They did a research study where they put people in a bunker they let them work and do activities at their own schedule and sleep whenever they were tired.
By the end of the study the participants didnt want to stop because they had the most energy they ever had and best sleep they ever had.
Humans are meant to meet their physical and emotional needs on their own time. Modern life is unnatural.
Can you give the link please?
> Humans are meant to meet their physical and emotional needs on their own time.
I guess the flip side is: if there are activities people need to do together, coordinated time-wise, but everyone has needs on different schedules, how does that get done?
If the kids is at school from 8 to 15 but the parents work from 10 to 18, who brings the children and picks them up? What if two children have different schedules? How is shift work to be scheduled?
Having to synchronize (somewhat) with the community around you comes at a cost. For those with outlying sleep schedules I suspect it's quite a big cost. But the synchronization also facilitates benefits. Are we making the optimal trade-off? Jeez, since when was anything human ever perfect(ly optimal)? Are there changes that can be made, such that the sum of all effects is obviously an improvement? Are all the effects even obvious?
I hate alarm clocks as much as the next guy. I also have a vague sense of what everyone else's alarm clocks buy me, and I don't know how to persuasively beg for special treatment. What's the good solution here?
@@jonaskoelker you're not understanding the point. you are acting like life is optimal the way it is now but few people would agree with you. we need to stop pretending rich peoples expectations for everyone else (that the rich people can never accomplish themselves, so its strange they expect so much from those with less) are the optimal organization of society. its the most inefficient inhumane possible way to do things lol. you are the type of person who yells at homeless people to get a job while denying the same people jobs at your company when they apply and try to listen to your out of touch psychotic advice..
Solution is cutting the workdays down to a more reasonable amount of hours a day so you actually have some of it left to spend to your own liking. If the main drive in life for people at the top wasn't greed I could see it happen. Part of why I feel tired all day every day is because right now I'm not living. I'm being lived. Feel that's a sentiment shared by many.
@@saturationstation1446 Not sure if your comment got deleted. I'm responding mainly to demonstrate (using the generic 'you') how if your emotions get the better of you, you can easily end up making false statements which make you really easy to dismiss and can really trap you in an argument, since you either have to defend falsity or acquire a track record of either backing down from your talking points or failing to engage with the other person.
>> since when was anything human ever perfect(ly optimal)?
> we need to stop pretending rich peoples expectations for everyone [...] are the optimal organization of society
> you are acting like life is optimal the way it is now
You might have missed the part where I express skepticism about optimality even being a detectable thing.
> its the most inefficient inhumane possible way to do things lol
I think I can make it worse: rotate everyone's schedule so as to maximize night work. If it can me made worse it couldn't have been the _most_ [insert quality] way of doing things.
> you are the type of person [...]
I don't think you know me.
> listen to your out of touch psychotic advice
You sound very angry. Are you angry? Was you anger triggered by me trying to add some perspective? Was that what made you angry to begin with, or do you have some stored-up anger which you're letting out on me?
Story of my life for years. What helped me a lot was to make myself physically tired by doing sports of other activities. At least in my case this “real” tiredness replaced the mental tiredness for a few hours, giving me peace of mind.
Real tiredness leads to great rest, alleviating mental fatigue.
@@jordangourley3955 true, and that’s why exercising is so important for mental health.
Thank-you! This a break through for me. I have been tired all my life and now in my 60's and want to address why. Tiredness is an emotion! I don't know you but I can tell you are a gift to the world. I love how you presented the information by clear definitions and examples. Kisses and hugs! Dr!
It's astounding how accurately this video explains what's I've been expiriencing for the past 5 - 7 years. The sentence "my brain is disincentivising making progress in life" simply struck a chord because of how accurately it describes what i haven't been able to verbalize for the longest time.
As to how my mind is coming to the conclusion that doing anything is pointless is mostly because of repeated past experiences. Where my mind tells me in no uncertain words that " you've tried many times before and look where that got you, are you sure you want to go through that all over again. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is an utterly stupid thing to do. " Well my mind isn't completely wrong but doing the same thing over and over is referring to me trying to make some progress in life.
But after ignoring my minds judgement about potential outcomes (being there's nothing to gain and a lot to lose) several times I've been convinced that my mind is right and just trying to protect me and there's really no hope for the future considering the situation.
Right now I'm really being tempted to try again in hopes of finding out that what my mind was telling me was all bullshit.
I feel similar in that my mind is always telling me what if you try and just fail again
great insight and yeah I felt similar. thing is also that our brain is an expert in pattern recognition and building a habit when it means conserving energy or avoiding risk. so by changing tiny things over time u can build different habits and end up with different outcomes. since the brain doesn’t like discrepancies between thoughts and whats really happening u end up feeling better in the long run.
@@razzytack you literally said everything that I've experienced too but just didn't write here. Wish you best in your life as well.
@@mister_duke You are right when you say that the brain doesn't like discrepancies between thoughts and what's happening. While that is true, the condition for feeling better long term is for good things to actually happen for you and if they don't it works the other way around as well.
Do you have anything better to do?
"No way I'm going to waste energy on life in general"
-My brain
I actually laughed out loud 😂
Yep. This actually sounds like depression
Fascinating video, I love how you are explaining it in an evolutionary sense, makes it click really easy. I have been classifying my tiredness into different categories, physical, emotional, mental. The last two might be tied together but I don’t feel they are 100% the same
One the most comprehensive and resonating descriptions of family dynamics around divorce. You are a blessing, your work is a gift to us 🙏
Outside of mental health, make sure you check if you have sleep apnea. Getting that treatment helped tremendously.
also parasites and bacterial/ viral infections
Absolutely. I was just diagnosed with it recently. Getting used to the CPAP is definitely a process but I'm hopeful that I can finally start getting good sleep.
I second this. Check it even if you're not overweight! I'm 197cm and 74kg and I have sleep apnea. Had a 10 year long fight with doctors from the NHS about getting a diagnosis. Finally getting a cpap changed my life beyond belief
what are the symptoms? i heard you have to be snoring in order to have that, is it true?
@@ryayan9500 Snoring is one, especially when you're choking in your sleep. Other symptoms include wanting to fall asleep/actually falling asleep no matter where you are despite enough sleep hours, waking up feeling out of breath, difficulty getting up, sleeping extremely long hours to feel normal, odd sleep hours(all these were my symptoms).
Wait but this is a life-changing and maybe even world-changing concept. It explains why my anxiety makes me procrastinate. It explains, for example, the studies that show that people make bad financial decisions BECAUSE they’re poor, not the other way around - because financial stability seems like an impossible goal not worth pursuing, so the emotions shut down the thought of attempting it.
Yeah changing perspectives of how you approach an issue can be very enlightening at times. And with perspective I also mean different sciences and paradigms.
the underlaying issue is, however, the tendency to let emotions interfere with important decisions.
Bad decision making is something that can be improved.
Great video and this is why we should prioritize, make a to-do list, go step by step... in order not to feel overwhelmed. Also, set your goals to be reachable.
Just last week I was so tired all the time, I had soooo much to do, I was overwhelmed. Yesterday evening I imagined my life after I finish all these tasks and it was so relieving. So, I prioritized my to-do list and I just went one by one, instead of looking at it as a whole.
Make your goal reachable!
I feel like this makes so much sense. To me, this might also be an explanation as to why so many people feel tired all the time. In this time and age, a lot of people have a harder time finding meaning in life and meaning in the things they do in life. If we don't find meaning in it, it will be perfectly reasonable to expect a person to react like they don't see what they get out of doing things. If I understood what Dr. K says, then that lack of seeing the reward at the end is what leads to a feeling of being tired.
I often wake up and feel tired once I realise I have to live my day, particularly when it involves participating within society ~ I wouldn’t say I’m always depressed, anxious or introverted but that I’ve always felt different and struggled to connect with people in my life and overtime that’s made life seem pretty darn tiring (except when I’m alone doing my comfort things or with the few people I consider ‘my people’)
That literally describes me and every friend I've ever known. Life is too tiring, except when one can be alone doing comfort things or with only the one or two people who really sit right.
This describes perfectly how I am feeling...
Totally agree. It got better with improving my self awareness after I realized I was autistic/ADHD, so there WAS a reason why I always felt so different, even broken at times, and why people are so draining to me. Self esteem and self awareness are hard to build in these conditions, so I got depressed and my motivation was dead for a long time. Therefore, I was used to feel tired all the dogdamn time. It can get better with the right tools that each individual needs, where understanding and self-compassion are key to me
As a woman ADHDer I am chronically fatigued. Stimulants help because they provide a short window where I am less-tired enough to get some necessary tasks done. In general though there are very few moments in my life when I am not consistently tired despite multiple intervention types.
Perhaps you should ask your Doctor about Modafinil. (helps energy and focus enormously) that and a natural one called Lions Mane Mushroom.
I feel exactly the same and have said those exact words. However, I also have multiple sclerosis. I didn't get diagnosed with that or adhd until I was 30. Took an mri of my brain to get the doctors on the right track. Stimulants are a treatment for both, but only help a little for a small window of time each day.
My doctor explained it to me with spoons. People normally have about 20 spoons a day to do things. Everything takes a spoon. Showers, chores, cooking,etc. Someone that has a condition like this might start the day with 4 spoons. Stimulants might buy you an extra 3. Then you still have to be really choosy with how you spend your spoons. Lol it's a funny way to look at it, but feels accurate.
I have ADHD and ME/CFS. I literally have chronic fatigue syndrome 🙃 and I'm a mom. And I'm a teacher. Sooooooooo yeah I'm doomed.
It takes a lot for me to fall asleep so when I wake I drink coffee to shake off everything I took night before. Rest day I'm fine bc I got enough sleep
I felt like this. Have been complaining about being tired literally since I was 12 (over a decade now). Finally went to a sleep doc. I have sleep apnea 🙃
Raises some questions for those who feel tired just from waking up each day, just the thought of having to go through another day makes you tired
Absolutely LOVED this video/explanation. A few days ago I did a check-in of how far along I am with my goals for the year & for the “big” ones, I’m a bit behind. I realized that when it came time to do them I’d always “feel tired” & surmised that my fear of failure was keeping me away from them. What I’m getting from this is that I’d need to change my mental association with the completion of the task; i.e. see it as an achievable goal opposed to unachievable. Anyway, thank you for your work, your “Duh!” breakdowns are always so fascinating! 🙌🏽
Being tired all the time is my super power. I can sleep whenever I want. Middle of the day road trip? I'm sleeping. International flight going overseas? I'll sleep through that too. People trying to call me for a social event? Nah, sorry, I'm sleeping!
Man, I'm tired literally all the time except for the moment I get into bed at night
@@malle6629 I used to have that, think of it like this, you're using half of your "go to bed" hormones during the day, so when the night comes you have half as less to spare.
This is not the real way your body functions, but it's a great simplification imo.
You're kinda jetlagged, watch Andrew Huberman podcasts on that, Dr K also has great advice on the topic. I fixed it with breathing exercise and bright lights right in the morning, but your case may differ.
You can sleep?? Lucky
@@sourgreendolly7685 Only when it doesn't matter lmao. Got work in the morning? Guess who's staying up until 3:00 am lmao
I feel tired and want to sleep all the time…but I can’t sleep in high anxiety mode. A flight for me is way too anxiety producing to be able to sleep so I end up being more tired.
Takeaways:
→ Analyze whether your physiological response has an emotional component.
→ What is my body telling me not to do and why is it telling you that?
→ Analyze the reasons given by your mind and imagine if your best friend said the same thing and go from there.
→ Some actions really might be tiring.
Thank you for the summary :D
Takeaway - bla bla bla by another fake guru
@@Wakka9000 Let people get help dude. Dr K has helped so many people. I'm sorry if his advice hasn't worked for you.
@@stevenlaczko8688 he didn't actually give any advice though. Seriously. There isn't a single actual suggestion in this video.
I've been having this issue of chronic tiredness and sleepiness especially during lectures or anything I really want to focus on and it leaves me feeling so dissapointed with myself. Thank you Dr. K for another vid to understand myself better.
I’ve noticed that feelings of boredom for me often precede such feelings of “tiredness” as well. It makes sense that the feeling would subconsciously motivate me to then avoid that boring task or activity and cause to me do something hopefully more fulfilling. If the task is still logically important though, you might have to try to set yourself up for some kind of personal success (like looking for ways to get it done five, then, or more minutes faster) as you do the task to motivate you further.
I felt chronically tired for about a year and a half. Figured I wasn't getting enough sleep and I was simply aging. Then I got my annual blood work and found out that my thyroid had given up on me. I took the medication and all of a sudden felt 10 years younger.
Friendly reminder to always get your blood work done cuz maybe your tiredness is part of a larger issue.
Same. Except I still feel perpetually fatigued. But it's also related to underlying cause. If you have Hashimoto's it can annoyingly protract certain symptoms until you deal with whatever caused the immune reaction. I wish mine would be simply gone. XD
Chronic fatigue is always physical.
B 12 is also important to have tested.
But when you learn that buildup of toxins and chronic stress is what causes thyroid issues you can reverse them. I speak from experience!
They said the same thing to me i took the meds for almost a year and it had no effect. Now im beginning to realize it was likely my sleep quality to begin with. Its really different for everyone cause there are SO MANY things that can cause you to feel tired
As a teacher, this really helped me understand why I feel tired whenever I'm preparing a 7th grade math lesson.
I feel the same each time I have to make any document for my principal.
Just the word Math...is exhausting..ugh
Just the thought of children is exhausting
That's why your kids are tired in class
@@xar91 Of course! Tired people are very boring usually.
Finally an explanation about how I am feeling. Your content is pure gold! Thank you for sharing your knowledge, it's helps me way more than the psychiatrist I've been seeing for 7 years
I’ve been struggling with depression, procrastination and extreme tiredness. The only I want to say is thank you. I feel like I’ve open an important door in my journey. Thank you for this video
There are medical conditions like thyroid disorders, metabolic disorders, sleep apnea, heart conditions, medicines can cause tiredness as a side effect, and many other medical conditions that can cause people to feel exhausted every day. If someone is truly tired every day for a long period of time, part of figuring things out should be to visit a doctor and rule out medical conditions. But I definitely agree with emotions being a big factor. You made a great point about the source of tiredness being hard to find because it can be caused by multiple overlapping conditions, including thoughts, emotions, lack of healthy boundaries etc.
My god it is so important to get things checked out if you feel tired. For some it is because they just get too little sleep (or sleep inconsistently). Note that the recommended sleep hours is 7 to 9 hours. Often people think they sleep enough but they're not hitting the hours they need. And then you have the medical conditions, or even vitamin deficiencies. They need to get sorted out! I have idiopathic hyperso
hypersomnia and I'm hella dissapointed there is no cure, but happy I now know
Sleepiness is medically classified as different than tiredness. Sleepiness is the tendency to actually fall asleep. If you sleep too much or have problems with sleepiness please go see a sleep doctor! I have narcolepsy that went undiagnosed for years because I didn’t realize there was a clinical difference between tiredness and sleepiness.
Amen ! I found out I had sleep apnea !!!
Exactly, I thought I was just a lazy no good idiot but turns out my sp02 levels were dropping to 75-80 whilst I was asleep due to chronic rhinitis which caused sleep apnea.
I wouldn't have known at all, I don't snore but I woke up every hour. Then I got a Fitbit and it showed just how many times I did wake up and my oxygen levels which was a blessing because now I'm selcheduled for my septoplasty to remove a lot of the obstructions in my nose and sinuses.
And if that tiredness turns into fatigue, you might be getting exposed to toxic mold.
This video really helped put everything into perspective for me. I find myself not doing anything for days on end because I am just so tired. The thing is though, I often have plans to do something in the day, and do not do it because of the effort it would take. Afterwards I feel awful because I put off something that needs to get done anyways, which just makes me feel more and more tired. Even when I don’t have to do anything, I will find something I “need” to do and plan to do it, and then don’t. I am in this cycle I cant get out of, just feeling tired ALL the time no matter what- to the point that I have been seeing doctors regularly. It might just be that I need to work on boundaries for myself and analyze what about certain tasks (or nearly all of them) has me feeling so drained. Thank you for this video
You just described my last 30 years…
@@tierneylogan5943 and my last 10 years too, good to know we are not alone :)
been like this for 15 years. heartbroken to see others go through this...
After decades of trying to find a “stimulant” that didn’t make me feel like sht, I have come to believe that actually I have some trauma stored somewhere that never lets me go into the deepest level of restorative sleep. Working with a cranial sacral specialist now for this.
@@svictor8 SAME!! Omg I though it was just me…thought maybe I was just lazy or overwhelmed or just kind of turned into a useless person…cuz I wasn’t like this when I was younger. Just started in my 30s-40’s & it’s making me feel SOOO shitty & worthless. Then I just want to hide & sleep more…uggh the cycle just continues 🥴 Every once in a while I’ll get this burst of energy or motivation, but it never lasts & it’s suddenly just *poof* gone…
With every word you spoke, you spoke directly to me. Absolutely insane. Thanks brother.
Thank you for a very clear and entertaining explanation of how this is a thing! As human society continues to grow more complex and sometimes overwhelming, it's important to understand our mind-body mechanics and work with it in order to get the best out of life.
I definitely experience tiredness in relation to emotional overload. I’m an introvert working in a fields that makes me have to fake extroverted traits. It requires constant interactions, conversations, and a great deal of social-emotional investment. I love what I do, but it’s not an easy thing for me to do. My ADD doesn’t help, either. As a result, I am completely drained at the end of the week. I go home and spend the weekend not doing anything but recovering in my home. The thought of any more social interactions outside of work with anyone but my now adult kids (who are all easy going and easy to be with) is just awful. Exhausting is exactly how I describe it. I can sometimes actually feel the energy drain from my body at the thought of leaving home or socializing. I really hate the idea of anyone else in my home, which is my safe place to drop my mask and recharge. Having two children with Aspergers, I recognize some of those traits in myself over the years, but never went through the diagnosis process for myself. It was yet another thing that just seemed too exhausting to go through.
Please keep in that this mechanism can also get dysfunctional, making the sources unclear.
For example: “I’m tired, I don’t want to go on a date tonight” could be interpreted as:
“I guess I’m just not that into them.”
When in reality it’s actually:
“I’m afraid of getting hurt due to past relationship trauma.” Or even just “I’m feeling insecure about how I look tonight.”
Tiredness is also a good way to identify when your brain is working against you, due to trauma and/or negative coping mechanisms.
Or you just dont want to go and you are regreting sayng Yes in the first place
@@maxillinthis one☝🏻💯
Haha pretty good piece of advice, wish I could have seen it earlier
I want to start an online marketing business from my laptop and almost came to it a year ago, this video taught me that every time i think about picking it back up i feel tired and just want to mindlessly game, i think i need to just push through, show my brain its not that bad and get into a new habit.
I think this was great and really hit home for me since I have been sooooo unproductive for years now when before I was so outgoing and getting things done no problem and very very independent. After listening to this I thought why am I tired and not wanting to do anything? I think my brain has just overthought things I do and said something to me like, “no that’s not good for you, not worth it, just don’t do it and you’ll feel better, it’s ok, just don’t do it.” Wow, I got a lot out of this. However I do think there are other medical problems sometimes but this is a great starting point.
This morning: Why do I want to sleep all day every day lately
This afternoon: Dr K vid on tiredness
What a beautiful channel
always perfect topic choice at the perfect time
I’ve always felt as though there’s two kinds of tiredness. The one you’ve described in this video where it’s more emotionally not wanting to do something, and then there’s also the one where you’re tired after a long day of work so now you’re sleepy and your body feels physically drained of energy.
I have adhd and I’m constantly tired, but not the sleepy kind. Even when I’m hyperactive, the moment someone tries to get me to do something I don’t want to, I’ll immediately become emotionally tired almost to the point of it being painful. My medication works well for this as I know it’s replacing the low dopamine levels in my brain which makes me feel less tired and as such a lot more likely to become somewhat motivated to do something I don’t want to do. However I know it’s not fool proof.
It’s always stuff that I know I should be doing, but I’d really rather go and do something else. Even doing a critical analysis into how I’ll feel after doing something like cleaning, the good feelings still don’t make me want to do it. My brain still just goes nah fam and I wind up just not doing it but also feeling guilty for not doing it. Then I feel tired for the rest of the day because I know there’s stuff I need to do, but I wind up doing stuff I enjoy instead. Yet the joy immediately disappears when I remember that I have stuff to do and that’s why I’m feeling tired to begin with. Honestly it’s why I feel like CBT has never worked for me, despite me putting in my best efforts to adhere to changing my routine for the better.
Going shopping for food makes me feel tired. Cleaning makes me feel tired. A lot of games I used to enjoy but played to death now make me feel tired. Thinking about picking up new hobbies knowing the learning curve is a lot just leaves me tired. It really is a mental disability. The hyperfocus can be a borderline super power when directed at the right thing, but it’s not guaranteed to be directed at something I want or need it to be. It’s like being in a car driving over the speed limit, but nobody is at the wheel and the car has Tesla autopilot running with me along for the ride. Sometimes it’ll work amazingly, other times it has me crash straight into a lamppost.
I've been dumbfounded at times how just going out and doing groceries has left me feeling SO exhausted. I've yelled at myself, "HOW am I SO tired? I just drove around for a couple hours and bought food!"
I've experienced this more regularly on hot summer days, when there's a lot of traffic.
I felt the same almost my whole life, and recently found myself relating to A LOT of female autistic traits
That gave me more compassion for myself and an understanding, that maybe my life needs to be curated according to MY needs, and not to what is deemed "normal"
(i.e. shifting priorities, changing occupation, listening to myself more, doing what feels right and doesn't drain life from me every time i do it)
I found dbt to be more helpful than just cbt and would really recommend it as i'm also a sever adhd case, i do have bpd as well though, but i think it might be helpful to others with adhd! keep up the good work and remember to be gentle with yourself~ even when avoiding tasks to do you still get a lot of other tasks done (in my experience anyways i will do a thousand other things just to avoid the one thing i'm suppose to do and is causing me the most stress lol)
This sounds exactly like me, I have ADHD as well. It's an uphill battle every single day.
You’re definitely not alone!
I needed this; thank you! I intend to feel it and see it as a challenge, like I do with anxiety. Fighting!
This gentlemen is extremely wise . He really opened up my eyes in this video. Thank you for this video
My takeaways:
Feeling tired doesn’t mean you’re physically tired, it’s an emotion.
Feeling tired is just a signal from the body telling you that this thing your doing is not worth the energy.
Ask yourself why you feel tired, try to put it into a new perspective.
Big tasks can be daunting, take tons of time and even feel impossible, so why start? - your body makes you feel tired when you think like this.
Break up larger goals into many smaller ones, so you can actually make measurable process.
What else did you take away?
Dr. K is a great guy!
I usually feel tired when I don't have anything that I can actually do.
E.g. during boring meetings.
damn dr. k your description of being a kid with divorced parents is spot on. you feel like a ping pong ball being knocked back and forth or a chew toy being fought over by two dogs. even if everyone has good intentions you are stuck in the middle and no one is happy.
I'm an adult with divorced parents and they still vent in front of me and my siblings about scheduling bullshit. to anyone with separated parents reading this, don't make the mistake of letting both parents assume you're on "their" side, it leads to unpleasantness.
Lol not me, my dad just doesn't gaf abt me
*Tip:* no, they don't have good intentions.
@@vivvpprof in my experience divorce can be just as hard on the kid even when the parents are trying to do the right thing. they just can't see beyond their own pain and behaviors sometimes.
@@xXx_Regulus_xXx yeah gotta love spending holidays shuttling between your two parents houses stress eating lol
Really appreciate how you walked through this, helps a LOT
One of the most valuable insights I've ever come across on this whole site. Thanks.
Fascinating. This has given me so much food for thought. I am tired all the time and I thought I just wasn’t getting enough sleep. My fiancé just asked me last week if I was ok because “you always say your tired.” At the time I brushed it off, but after seeing your video, I realized I have to reevaluate my actions and thoughts. Thank you!
My ADHD was exhausting, it's part of the reason tasks are so tough, every phone call and interruption made me feel like I needed a nap.
Edit: after meds it's way better btw.
I'm on meds (Elvanse 50mg) but still struggling with extreme fatigue (though I am a bit more alert and focused for much longer than normal now, less mood instabilitu)... Did it take a while for the tiredness to subside or was it's something that was immediately apparent from the moment you took the meds?
I was diagnosed with ME and Fibromyalgia 11 years ago (pain seems better when on the meds, not loads but it takes the edge off!), I've been exhausted for as long as I can remember... Was hoping my adhd might have been a big part of the problem and that it might resolve on meds, but haven't had anything significant.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD however I can relate to most of the behaviour of people with ADHD. I am afraid of taking meds.. can you tell me how it affected you? Thanks in advance.
I love this guy. The last bout of seasonal depression has been brutal for me. Thanks Dr. K!
This explains why I used have so much energy earlier in my career, and life: I had high optimism and no idea how to properly estimate the workload to achieve my goals.
Now I’m 40, been doing database coding and data analysis for 12 years, I feel the emotion of “tired” way more (and not b/c I’m middle aged per se) but b/c I can estimate a tasks workload way way better. And that goes for work AND family life.
after hearing this, i'm wondering if my tiredness is because of my anhedonia. whenever i do stuff, i feel little to no joy or relief, even if i got the task 100% done and there are visible results. even when i consciously try to be mindful, think about how good it is that the task is done, praise myself for doing it... i still tend to not feel anything good. so i guess it makes sense that my brain caught on and is like "we're not going to feel any sort of reward for doing this. therefore this is a waste of energy. time to feel tired". i wonder if that's a reason why depression leaves so many of us feeling tired. i've been considering my inability to feel much joy to be relatively low priority in terms of my mental health symptoms and been considering the tiredness a higher priority, but now i'm thinking they're probably linked.
Especially in cultures that push big achievements or external status symbols- feedback and joy over small achievements is poo-poo’d. If all the external messages are that you should be able to do unlimited small things without breaking a sweat then it wears you down when you try to believe those messages but reality disagrees. Hard. Keep up your mindfulness!
same i feel bad i feel like im fighting myself just to enjoy something or doing something and not offing myself
As an introverted autistic person, I can relate to a lot of this. I have several types of tiredness, one is being the “I’ve done too much today” type of tiredness (and as I have chronic illness, that “too much” can be anything from running several errands, to just heat up dinner for myself), and then there’s the sensory overload tiredness where the environment has just overloaded me with sensory input so my brain just can’t any longer, then there’s the social exhaustion from being in social situations where I often mask my autism at least part of the time and masking autism is damn exhausting (then add sensory input from being in a group etc to that) and then there’s the overwhelmed tiredness when having to deal with a task, and because you get overwhelmed by it you don’t know where to start so you get even more overwhelmed and eventually just throw your hands in the air and cry (thanks, executive functioning issues…)
And then of course there is the tiredness from having autistic meltdowns when you just can’t get out of a situation in a timely manner to avoid said meltdown… Add it all together 24/7, 365 days per year and you’re so tired that your tired is tired, yet you keep going because the different types of tiredness allows you to do different things.
I’m a gamer and I can play games even when I’m very tired, but sometimes I can only manage sims 4 because of how I’m feeling, while other days I’m totally fine with Elden Ring or FFXIV or similar.
Right now I’m feeling completely drained because of sensory overload from a low frequency noise from a machine outside and pelvic pain from doing a wrong movement earlier that nearly made me scream out loud. I want to play Elden Ring, but the machine outside along with the pain is making me need to hide under a blanket to just calm down and relax until the pain lessens and the machine goes away as I’m just too overwhelmed by sensory input and everything is bothering me
I'm just an internet stranger but have you tried earplugs specifically for sensory overload? I've heard of a couple brands. I think fyre was one? I've tried Loop and they make a huge difference. They're also comfortable enough to leave in for hours and you can hear people talk so it's not preventing you from doing stuff. Might be worth looking into, if you haven't already.
I can relate to this description so much~ I feel for you and hope you’re not being hard on yourself on the extra tired tired tired days 🌼
Wow, I have Autusim as well and been wondering why I'm so tired all the time and everything you just said relates to me. Thank you for posting this. Because no matter what happens to me I'm always tired and I am tired of being tired.
I mask my autism, Infront of certain people who live in the same building as me. I know that them certain people, are very judgemental. I hide it, whenever I'm in the same room as them. I'm just trying to protect myself.
I mask my autism, infront of certain people, who live in the same building as me. The judgemental one's, who think that they're better than EVERYONE else. It doesn't matter what others think of that. I'm just trying to protect myself. Maybe this explains why I never hang with those certain people.
This makes sense. I have Long COVID and severe chronic fatigue. EVERYTHING makes me feel tired when I think about it. Because now every little thing is so much harder and more taxing than I could have ever imagined prior it could be. So my stress radar is extremely sensitive, but at the same time it needs to be. Overdoing myself results in post excertion malaise, pain, and lost days in bed.
Great concepts and very helpful! I’m going to start reframing my thoughts and admit that I’m overwhelmed, as opposed to tired.
I have been blaming myself for being perpetually tired as a high school teacher for six years now and I think you have just dramatically changed my life perspective. ❤️
If you are still exhausted in the holidays, please see your doctor. There are physical conditions that can also cause tiredness, if you have ruled them out, this a good option, but so many other things can cause this, from sleep apnea to ADHD to low thyroid, it's worth getting to the bottom of all possible factors
@@susanwilliams2392 idk why people keep repeating this when he gives clear examples with "you see a message and suddenly feel tired." if you see a message and suddenly feel tired it's probably not sleep apnea.
@@Rea84 The video is literally titled "why you feel tired all the time no matter what you do", yes, he gives examples of ways you can tell it is emotional, but he doesn't explain the other, physical causes of constant tiredness, which is irresponsible, the commenter I replied to said they have been constantly tired for six years, that is not the same as being tired when you look at one email. Emotional tiredness is absolutely a thing, and valuable to talk about, but it is important to provide a nuanced veiwpoint, of all the possible reasons, which the video didn't even touch on
That "MEH" at the end of "Lets go, yeah fun, lets do it" was the most relatable thing I have ever heard from Dr. K and it was glorious. Thanks for that moment. Also very much appreciate the massive scale effort of mental health healing the HealthyGamer community extends to people in need of assistance. Dr. K's healing stats are absolutely outrageous and we love to see it. GG
You mentioned everything that stresses people out , no wonder I’m still stressed and exhausted ! 😅
This is literally profound! I’ve been struggling with extreme tiredness, which has physical reasons that are being addressed, ie low iron and sleep apnea, but there is still a debilitating underlying tiredness. This is really a new lense to look at the issue with. Thank you
Brilliant, thank you.
I’ve read in other literature that with ADHD, this effect can be compounded by two things. First is that time blindness impairs your mind’s ability to estimate that time load; you could be fooling yourself that something is going to take longer than it actually will (or worse, shorter which leads to overcommitment). Second is the hyperfixation effect of not knowing when to stop; which leads to a system 1 choice of not starting the thing unless it can be done ALL AT ONCE. So there is clearly some energy consumption that coincides with task / focus switching. Doing that could create actual exhaustion, or again, the mind anticipates that and puts up the wall of tired to avoid the situation all together.
Interesting stuff doc thank you
(currently undiagnosed, but I have a strong suspicion I have ADHD)
a third thing is, that ADHD people need to use (more) energy for tasks other people don't need to. E.g.: I have to actively remember to brush my teeth (building routines is near impossible), I have to constantly search for stuff, I constantly have to fix situations because I forgot something or made a careless mistake, house chores are so freaking hard to do, Even if I sit on the sofa and stare at the wall my brain is still playing my own personal Podcast underlined by the earworm of the day, ...
@@100Rhiannon as a person with ADHD, IMHO brushing your teeth fucking sucks.
Man thank you SO MUCH, I can't describe how insightful your work is for me! I want to shake your hand and hug you so much, my man. Much love!
Sometimes it really helps to remember your “WHY”
For the non-compulsory things in life like working out or studying a way to get over that tired feeling is to try and remember why you’re doing it in the first place. Then you are able to decide whether it’s worth completing the task and making progress towards your goals or not.
Eg. I don’t want to go to the gym today because it’s going to take a lot of effort and I don’t have a lot of time. I’m also going to be all sweat and I’m going to have to shower afterwards too.
However, the reward of the end goal far outweighs the reward of staying in your comfort zone and doing something easier.
Discipline can only take you so far when you’re feeling ‘tired.’
I was in therapy for ten years & the way you describe things is soooooooo much more helpful.
This video just explained - and potentially solved - the most perplexing issue in my life for the last 10 YEARS. I haven’t paid taxes in 5 years, relationships are futile and draining, house improvement projects are stacking up, my email inbox is chaos incarnate, hmmmm… time to reset the thought process when my mind tells me I’m tired. Let’s do this! 👍🏼
best wishes bro. let us know how it's been your process
Or it could be an executive function thing, bud. Adhd effects 7% of the pop and less than half of that is diagnosed
@@ajcrakt4720 Indeed it can be.
So, how is it going with the house improvement projects?
@@halcyon-cg2eb A little better as of recently. I’ve been utilizing the technique (described above) more frequently and it is paying dividends. 😃
Wow , one of the best explanation I ve ever heard, I put this in my favourite videos ! Helps a lot !
That made so much sense, it helps with how I choose to approach my work now
I have a thyroid disease, so my tiredness comes in many awful flavors 😂 at the cellular level. I do not wish a metabolic disease on anyone. I often can't tell the difference between the different types of my tiredness, because my brain tells me I'm tired when I think of a task either way 😅 so I don't know which type it is until I try to push through. Thyroid tiredness == exhaustion after the effort, even if I feel mentally accomplished. Regular tiredness == feeling better after the task.
Same thing, except I have hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. So unfortunately I’m literally physically and mentally tired because of my medical condition 24/7 and I can’t really do anything about it. Being medical tired is horrible because we know why we are tired most of the time but there is really not anything we can actually do about it. And if my tiredness comes from something else it usually makes me even worse because it’s compounded on top of my medicine tiredness. And it takes forever to get back to my baseline tiredness. Life sucks sometimes.
Tireness as an emotion makes a lot of sense. The moments I often feel that is when it comes of doing house holding tasks like washing the dishes or using a vacuum. I also notice that my tireness became less after I realized that I had to work smarter and not harder and doing all the tasks I need to do in parts and spread those parts over the week
What works for me is planning and following a struture. I also train to not think about greater end goals, just do it, take notes on what needs to be done and how I should do it
But most importantly: Take Your Time, don't rush it and forgive yourself when things do not go 100% according to plan.
Finally someone who told the real reason behind it instead of giving strategies. Thank you so much💫😇
I recently went down from full time to part time. I'm privileged that I can do that. The lower in stress has helped my energy and mood immensely.
Personally, my tiredness turned out to be physiological. I finally got a doctor to do blood tests because I was afraid I had cancer (ok yes I am a bit of a hypochondriac but cancer runs rampant in my family and I've had a host of weird health scares in my past so it's made me become hypervigilant) and it turned out that I have hypothyroidism. Since getting on my thyroid medicine it's helped a lot. I'd say definitely rule out the physiological stuff first because the solution may be as simple as taking a little pill every day.
I think my issue is that I am required or asked to do so many different things at one time, that I'm left little to no time to do any of the things that are truly fulfilling and meaningful to ME. So my brain rarely ever gets to a point of seeing what it thinks will be a positive outcome for me. That leaves me mentally, emotionally AND physically exhausted. So I sleep later, and drag my feet getting a start on the day, so that that time I might have had in the morning to do some of those fulfilling things is gone. Now people are calling, asking me to do other tasks, or I need to "get in gear" to take care of things I HAVE to do by the end of the day, and the cycle continues. 😮💨😓
I truly think that if I could have just one day out of the week to actually lounge around the house without regret or anxiety, and maybe do one or two of the things that fulfill me, without anyone bothering me and no required obligations...that might just help to inject more enthusiasm, motivation, and energy into the other days. But it seems like I never get such a day. Seems that society these days just expects (or demands) us to function like robots with little attention paid to our own needs...
Too many people are overworked and can't afford they're own house, society needs to change! Think a socialist democracy would help? We definitely need to change from a for profit society to a for health and happiness society
I need a 3-day weekend; one for errands, one for doing things, and one to chill. Two days just makes me resentful because there's no 'me-time'!
You have described this so accurately. And if this continues for years (which it often does), then no wonder why so many people are struggling with burnout and mental health issues.
Great video.
Watched this a year ago and I've adapted the information into usable principles for getting my children to clean and contribute, to lose weight, to drive volunteers, and more.
I'm seeing lots of people saying you should've said this or that but I personally think this video is absolute gold! Wow! Thank you!❤❤❤
This is AMAZING. You explained the chaos in my brain so well
I noticed this tiredness happens extremingly commonly in social situations. Many times (myself included) i get tired and/or others get tired because they aren’t really being included in the social situation. So, attempts to join in and expend energy to join in repeatedly dont work so then our minds and bodies give up and get tired thenn we say “im tired im probably going to go soon”. This has happened to me like 10+ times and i have seen it happen with others like twice as many.
Omg, this guy just answered why I feel exhausted at my work all the time. 4 paychologists and multiple GP visits couldn't help me understand it
Dude so glad i found you. Thanks Dr. K you are healing alot of people
1:10 This is pure gold. "Human beings all have the shared experience of being able to be fu.... tired."