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ADHD PARENTING 101: What Now?
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- čas přidán 12. 08. 2024
- ADHD PARENTING 101: What Now?
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Welcome to my new series ADHD PARENTING 101! In this series, I plan to focus on the nitty-gritty of parenting a child with ADHD, ranging from discussions about ADHD diagnosis and ADHD treatments to emerging research on ADHD to practical strategies you can implement today in your own home.
Often, I will be joined by my good friend Danielle at Danielle Gets It Done as we explore ADHD parenting topics and share our own experiences with parenting differently wired kids. Don't miss Danielle's video on this topic:
• My Kid Has ADHD, Now W...
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✦ WHO AM I?
My name is Tanya, and I'm a doctor-lawyer turned secular homeschooling mom of 3 rambunctious kiddos, ages 9, 6, and 4. You can find videos here about secular eclectic homeschooling, ADHD & 2e parenting, and practical minimalism. Homeschooling certainly isn't for the faint-of-heart, but I'll try to share what has been working for us along the way - as well as what hasn't been working. Thank you for subscribing and joining our homeschool journey!
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Having a lot of sad moments with coaches, and teachers , they do not a thing about humankindess towards a child with adhd . So sad I do not know what to do, I can not afford to stay home and homeschool my child...I get tired of all the bad comments teachers and coaches from sport camp they make about my son...even when they know my son has adhd… so frustrating , sad sad....But I am praying to God for healing and I know my son will get all healthy totally. I pray for all children with adhd for their healing and for single moms raising kids with adhd, and for all parents...
I sadly feel the same. My son has yet to get diagnosed, but he exhibits the habits of someone with ADHD and his teachers infuriate me
Me too :( so over the teachers and am at a loss with what to do next !!
I feel You. I have had the same experience with my ADHD son. But God trains us trough tough situations. I think that I would not develop such a understanding, and calm mind if I had not been placed in a situation like this. I think that my son, with hes ADHD is a blessing. Growing hurts. I will add You, and Your son to my prayer list. May God strenghten Your faith, and guide You in all Your ways.
@@thejasminediaz - My oldest with ADHD is now 27 years old. I had no idea she had it. I had not idea what it was. *& I had so many bad experiences with teachers, coaches etc. I ended up homeschooling her. I was also not very good because I had not idea. She has been truly damaged. We are working through it.. but I wish I would have know to protect her from all those negative influences. In the end, I decided on homeschooling her that was the best year of her life she says. I ended up putting her back, which I regret. I know its hard but find the way to safeguard your child. Advocate for him and put every adult out there in their place. Do not allow them to 'abuse your child because they are ignorant. Fight back. For his sake.
No doctor or therapist we've seen, or book I've read has ever mentioned how adhd affects maturity. So many things about my son make sense now. I always thought he was a bit immature but I believed it was because he is our only child. Thank you so much for your videos. I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for sharing and for taking the time to leave a kind comment! Good luck on the journey!
Im 30 something and am still as immature as I've always been. I feel bad telling you this. I don't think people ever grow out of it. It's uncontrollable to the point of shame and embarrassment, so im sure if your son could stop, he would
@@annab13 Don't feel bad. My son has matured into a lovely young teen and I look forward to seeing him grow into the man he is meant to be, but everyone has a different journey. I wish you all the best on yours. You are more than any one of your weaknesses - take heart.
@@ProjectHappyHome Wow, your son is lucky. That's so sweet ❤️
I hate the phrase “ control your child.” You can’t control any child, just cause you might have a typical child or rule with an iron fist of fear doesn’t mean you get to stick your nose up at those who’s children are different than yours . Actually dealing with my son has helped me accept all children and fight for them . They don’t need more rules , although they need structure , they need compassion and understanding.
I agree! Structure and routines that remain flexible to their input and changing little personalities.
Yessssss
I couldn't finish this video without crying. It fell like you were describing my life. I'm having sleepless nights ever since my son was diagnosed spending all my time trying to understand adhd. You are a wonderful mom. Kudos to you for home schooling your kids. Did you enroll your son in any sport or activity at any particular age?
Aw, mama, hugs. We have all been where you are now. The more we regulate ourselves and look for the good, the easier it all becomes. We enrolled my son in taekwondo when he was in kindergarten, and he is a second degree black belt now. I recommend looking into sports/activities that encourage crossbody motion and mental focus, like martial arts or musical instruments.
This is so relatable! My son, always at the bottom of the "reward" wall, never allowed anywhere close to the treasure box, sometimes left out of the ice cream party... Crushed my heart. Thank you for this video.
You're not alone - and you've got this. Hugs, mama.
I am totally against medication,
What works with my son is lots of patience, and love. My son is a very smart child, I could say he is gifted with many talents... I always tell him and praise him for all this great things he can do..I try not to say anything negative about him.. because he is not adhd, he is my son , a gift from GOD. What I notice is that in terms of hyperactivity what helps him is going to museums being out, playing and running, exploring and doing art and science projects. He likes to be busy all the time and that is great for him, I am happy for him.
I think you have a great approach and mindset! Your son is lucky to have you.
pin to pin what all you said exactly my son is, I can say he is a gift for us, so much good nature in him , only one word ADHD making all of his good works to shatter.... Praying God for my son healing and all sons who have this..
I'm going to try to come back here. @reinamontejo4228 can you give examples of how you cope and what you've done to become more patient, if that was a struggle for you. It is for me.
And advice on how adapt to your child.
Thank you
You know what I love about your videos.. the honesty and the tone..you were not preaching...you were talking like a mom to other mom. information is one thing but how we deal with our kids..their emotions.. not necessarily ADHD but just kids with big emotions..big issues..and different personalities. It is so soothing to hear you talk ..God bless you and your family Tanya. you are such an inspiration to all the moms .
Thanks, my friend. You are very kind. And your dedication and creativity inspire me as well!
This is great to see! I wish there was more support for ADHD kids and parents - especially ones that don't support 0% medication. Would love to see an update with the modern research.
Hey me again I just came out to my grandma about my ADHD and this group of video helped me a lot so thank you I thought it would be so hard I watched these videos day before and I have a lot of confidence after this so thank you
This video has really just affirmed a lot of thoughts I've been struggling with as a mother for my daughter. When you were describing your son in preschool and kindergarten it just sounds word for word like my little girl and it honestly makes me tear up a bit. She also has some behavioral issues and I've been struggling on pulling her out of public school to homeschool and also unsure if I want to get an actual diagnosis for her. It's my own fear of having some label slapped on my daughter, and want just the best for her. Thank you so much for this video!
Thanks for watching! Our extraordinary kids will be the making of us.
I can't wait for more on this series! We really think our youngest has ADHD. Homeschooling has been the best decision for him!
Regardless of the diagnosis, if you think he has similar symptoms/behaviors, changing how we communicate and help them can be the most helpful thing! 🙂
Thank you. I needed to hear this. My kid came out and told me that he thinks he has ADHD and that’s why teachers can’t deal with him and I was resisting but I’m opening up my eyes.
Such good, practical info. SO much of it can cross over into parenting my kiddo with HFASD. Thank you for taking the time to share.
Yes, I completely agree. When we are atypically wired, I think a lot of the “fixing” has to do with fixing our own parental reactions and preconceived notions of “normal.” Don’t you feel like learning about your kids’ unique minds has helped you to more compassionately parent ALL your kids? 🙂
You’re the best communicator! So many great things were said here!! We haven’t talked to james yet about his differences bc we felt he was too young but it’s something I feel ready to dive into now! I think it will be helpful and hopefully empowering for him!!
I think you will be awesome at teaching him more about his awesomely unique brain. Big hugs, mama!
Great video! My son just got officially diagnosed with ADHD- inattentive type. He has the inattention issues that interfere with academics (mostly math) and also the emotional regulation issues which bring issues in behavior at home not in school. All of the tips that are often given to handle executive functioning, schedules, routines... etc have been so hard for us to implement. Partly because our family culture has been more of flexibility in schedules and partly because I most probably also have inattention issues and executive functions have not been my strength in life. It's been rough! I am definitely growing as a parent. Thank you so kick for your videos!!!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. The more of us who share, the better we will all fare. I didn't mean that to rhyme, ha! It can be hard to adjust to ADHD in a child when one or more parents shares some attention differences. On the other hand, it's an opportunity to tackle goals together! Consider making task lists or mini-goals together. As you research ADHD, try implementing changes for both of you - so he feels like he's on a journey alongside you instead of being admonished. :)
i guess Im randomly asking but does someone know a method to log back into an Instagram account??
I was stupid forgot the account password. I would love any tips you can offer me
@Matthias Torin instablaster :)
@Josue Knox thanks so much for your reply. I found the site on google and Im in the hacking process atm.
Looks like it's gonna take quite some time so I will reply here later with my results.
Such good info! Thank you so much! My oldest son has ADHD, SPD, and anxiety. He just turned 8. He is in therapy and it has helped a lot and I feel like I'm getting a pretty good hold on what ADHD means and how to work with it more, however you mentioned some things in a way that was like a light bulb! I'm working more on being less reactive and have gotten much better but theres so much more room. I haven't really discussed his diagnosis with him and I now look forward to this conversation!
I'm so glad! I learned a lot from the book "The Whole Brain Child" in terms of how to address the concept of brain wiring and ADHD with my son. I hope it went well, and I wish you and your son the best!
I just found your video and the information will help me a lot. Thank you 🙏 I will be watching all the rest for sure.
I’m so glad it helped. Thanks for watching!
Your videos about parenting a child with ADHD have been so helpful to me! I'm constantly reminding myself to readjust my expectations of my son from where I might think he should be to where he is now. Looking forward to these videos.
Me, too! We’re all in this together - guiding these incredible kids isn’t for the faint of heart. Thanks for watching and sharing!
Thank you for the guidance and advice. That was incredibly helpful. And I have hope. 🙏💗
I’m so glad it helped. Thanks for watching!
Thank you so much for this video. You have helped me tremendously these last few days. Much love.
I am so glad to be of some small help. 😊
This is so so valuable! Such an informative video. I have been curious about ADHD because I suspect I have an atypical child and I also suspect I personally have some symptoms.
I definitely share some ADD traits with my son. I hope these videos are helpful to you. Check out the ADHD playlist if you’re interested in more.
My 7 year old starts adhd meds this weekend. I don’t want her to lose her spirit and spunky personality but she needs help focusing and not disrupting and talking during class. My daughter too like your child is at her own desk by the teacher while all the other kids are in groups. The teacher said my daughter even asked if she could put up folders around her so she wasn’t distracted by other ppl . She also is ALWAYS humming it drives me mad lol. I lose my cool often , I love your channel thank you for your advice❤️
Thanks so much for watching and sharing a bit of your own experience! The more we parents can share with each other, the better we can do as a community for our kids and each other. Good luck to you and your family on the journey!
Really??? My daughter hums too!
Thank you. There are so many moms out there that need this. Years ago, I wish I would have heard something like this.
Hugs. :)
Yes yes yes! Same experience, thank you for verbalizing this and empowering parents!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!
I love this series! We are new to the ADHD diagnosis and this is so helpful! I love that " when you have met one child with ADHD you have met one child with ADHD"
Thanks so much for the kind words and good luck on the journey!
This is my EXACT experience!! My son is 3 and he is showing early symptoms of ADHD. It's very hard on us parents and I feel it must be even harder for him😢 I love him so much and want to understand him, which is why I am here. Might be too early to diagnose but since this runs in my family I definitely wouldn't outrule it and I would like to educate myself early on. Thank you so much for these videos!!
You’re so welcome here! Educating yourself is the best thing, regardless of a diagnosis. And, honestly, the principles I’ve learned in parenting ADHD have made me a much better mom to my more neurotypical kids as well. 💚
This video is so informative and helpful. I have been reading a lot about ADHD - inattentive type and nothing has described the immature behaviour like you have, which describes exactly how my son behaves. It’s really helpful or to hear about your experience with your son. My son is currently on a two year waiting list to be assessed in the UK.
Best of luck with the testing - I hope the evaluation is stress-free and as comprehensive as you wish.
Your videos regarding ADHD is a saviour for me!! You are an angel for helping me out with the bad times!! Can't thank you enough! Much love!!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!
I'm so grateful that I found your channel tonight. My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD last year before she started school, I suspected it way before that. I constantly struggle with how to support her best, it feels like as if every approach and tip I try, it fails. I suspect having ADHD myself and it would make sense that I have issues following through with things to help her 😮💨
I think a lot of us parents discover our own neuroatypias after learning more about our children. I wish you and your kiddo the best!
My son is 9 and he never had an official diagnosis of ADHD, but we are starting to wonder if he has it. If there's a topic he doesn't understand, he will just break down and cry. Thank you for doing this series, I was at a loss on what to do. I really feel I like I better understand how to approach my child now.
I am so glad. It is a journey - and although it has its hard parts, keep your eyes open for the good stuff. 💚
Thank you
I appreciate this video. Thank you.
Thanks so much for watching!
My daughter has ADHD. She wasn't eating enough ,eating one meal a day. I tried hard & and encouraged her but didn't work, so I shared this with her school & GP they referred her to the eating disorder team .I thought they could help her as they are professional people but I didn't know what's coming for my child & me. They section her & sent her insane hospital. I was not happy or agreed with this decision. My daughter was terrified that she was taken away from me..Me & my family was shocked & worried for her. The purpose wad to sent her insane hospital was they thought maybe at home things are not wright & I am a failure mother. She stayed there for a few weeks after she had discharged from the hospital. The professional in the hospital was knowledgeable & good . But, the eating disorder team referred her to many other professionals by saying there is a concern about home & I am (mother) is a failure. All the things happening, my daughter is stressing a lot of meeting different professionals & she is also blaming me for taking her to the eating disorder team. Because of that, she has to meet many professionals. I feel sad & disappointed by the professionals for doing too much that causing everyone in the family stress.
Failure mother. Admit this about yourself. Cruel, permissive mother who messed up her child and now wants to hang the blame on anybody except herself.
I was diagnosed May 2021 , @ age 42 … I look back , when I was in grade school .. I was always scared .. always punished for not completing my assignments or homework .. I didn’t know how to do it .. I couldn’t almost never go to recess .. 😢 it started in the 3rd grade .. I didn’t even know why .. why I was always punished .. I thought the teacher didn’t like me .. torment !!!!!
I hope your sense of self worth has strengthened with the diagnosis. You are worthy of joy and praise. 💚
Thank You. You are a gift.
Aw, thanks for being so encouraging.
Great video and share! Awareness is so important this is a strong topic! Subbed to your channel and found inspiration here for mine! Keep doing you!
Dr1ven Industries thank you!
Thank you a lot very very useful ❤️❤️❤️
You're welcome 😊
My second son is scheduled to meet a paediatrition for the 1st assessment in 2 weeks as we, parents and speech pathologist suspect he has ADD/ADHD. Research of my own about it has just started and I found your films by accident that are very useful and informative. Thanks Tanya. How are you??😊
You’re welcome! We are doing well!
Hi Tanya. I wonder, are you planning on doing a video/-s on homeschooling an ADHD child? As that would differ from homeschooling a neurotypical child I presume. I would be very interested to learn the best practice/tips as I have not found much practical advice from homeschoolers.
I haven’t done a video on this topic in particular, but I will!
I’m am so embarrassed to say my 11 year old was just diagnosed with ADHD and I am so furious with myself that I never put my finger on why he had so many behavioral issues thru elementary. Now he is in 6th grade and he is now struggling in middle school! I am thinking about homeschooling now cause he is struggling so bad with his academic and behavior. He is scared to go to school cause he doesn’t want to get in trouble. I could have dealt with so many things differently if I had only had him tested years ago! How can I work with him now that he is 11?? He pushes back so badly now! Lack of respect, etc! I’m so happy I’ve found you!
Patti Wright The community is here for
you! Welcome!
Thank u
It all makes sense now
I’m not sure if If my child has ADHD. My younger sister has it and I remember as a child that our home became so chaotic because I don’t think there was great advise 30 years ago. Your videos are so helpful. They give my courage to examine my parenting mistakes and opportunities to help my child differently. My child is five and strong willed and the way you give advice has truly been helpful to me.
I’m so glad. 💚
New to ADHD with my 6yo son. I have loved all your videos. They are well addressed to mom's real concerns. Please share the name of books that can help parents explain 6yo kids what is ADHD and to help them embrace it. Thanks!
I did a video on this last year, I think - check out my ADHD playlist and it should be there! I’ll do an updated video on helpful books soon. Thanks so much for watching and leaving kind words!
My daughter was diagnosed ADHD when she was 6 years old (it was late diagnose because i moved the house) any ways she had really bad, but what I notice from it that she starts listen much better and hear me and in school everything what she needs is to someone remember her that she have done her job first. I never gave her medicine and as long as I found out that ADHD without medicine child get worse, not better. Right now i even start doubt that she have ADHD. I started thing maybe because she didn't eat the healthy food ( at age 3 she only ate pasta and rice with sausage) and didn't sleep naps (she refused sleep at age 1) I started believe is that she doesn't have ADHD. Right now she is 10 years old but still have hard time concentrate herself and everything but when she wants she can do it, and that feels strange.
So ADHD isn't a deficit of attention, it's a difference in attention. Hyperfocus is actually a superpower of kids with ADHD - when something interests them, they are able to focus much better than the average neurotypical individual. So perhaps our task is to offer as many opportunities to discover their interests as possible. :)
@@ProjectHappyHome " So ADHD isn't a deficit of attention, it's a difference in attention" STOP right there. Its painful to read this. Hyper or hypo focus is not the average ( i dont like the word normal)You are looking for youtube attention. Nothing more.
Thanks for this video, the info out there is overwhelming but when I hear you I feel, there is hope and adhd doesn’t need to be this weird label, thanks again... does your son needs more physical activities?, I suspect my son is adhd y I wanted to know how much physical activity is recommended in your experience thanks ❤️
In our experience, the more activity, the better. Just starting our homeschool days with a bike ride or walk makes the entire day run smoother. We have also taken regular martial arts, and we plan to take parkour soon! Whenever you can incorporate a physical outlet, I’d try to do it! Bouncy chairs, wobble stools, mini-trampolines, doorway swings, it’s all been helpful for us.
That school experience is sad.
I homeschool my children.
I feel the same about the labels. I don't want the labels for my child.
He hasn't been diagnosed. I'm not taking him to be but this and other videos describe him. We won't be taking medication, so it's jump on the journey to learn with him
Good luck!! 💚
My son (5 year old) is showing some of the signs, very active, not listening to his name being called, very vocal and social etc. However it seems to come and go, some days he focused and quiet other days bouncing off the walls. Also scenario based i.e bad day at school fine at home or vicer versa. My question is in the inconsistency of what I am seeing. My limited knowledge of the condition makes me think if a child had it it would be pretty much the same behaviour traits day in day out and across all scenarios, if it’s like you explained that parts of the brain developing at a different pace then it could not seemingly be switched on and off. Can anyone who has had a child medically confirmed with adhd confirm if they see consultant behaviour or if it’s sporadic?
It should also be mentioned that those suspecting ADHD in their child, GET MORE than your pediatricians questionnaire and opinion. We had been treating our son's ADHD and when he still had issues/ different symptoms develeping we had him tested by a Neuropsychologist, seen by a Neurologist for EEG/Sleep study to cover other diagnoses that the terrible pediatrician was not helping us with. Turns out not only is he ADHD but he diagnosed as gift and on the spectrum. You might find out more than what you expect!
Couldn’t agree more! 💚
@@ProjectHappyHome Btw, I love your channel! So happy to have found it now that we are starting our SECULAR home education!
I am 40 yo and come back to college, and my life is like I am a robot without control remote, try to start projects, homework, and I don't start anything. The therapist told me, ADHD is my new friend. Help me, please.
Additudemag.com has great articles about adult ADHD - hope that helps!
Thank you for this, Tanya! This is the first ADHD video of yours that I really watched, hanging on to every word. The reason is that my in-laws have become legal guardians of their grandkids and we think one of them has behaviors that are atypical. She “explodes” over silly things, prefers to play with much younger kids (like my daughter who's SIX years younger), and she can't be still for a minute. My initial reaction was frustration over the fact that the adults in her life were too immature to raise her well and now my in-laws are letting her get away with misbehaviors too easily, resulting in them being disrespected or even abused verbally. I'm beginning to think it might be more than that. My question is, how do we get her to be evaluated so we have a definitive diagnosis? Do we just go to a psychologist without a referral, just a suspicion? None among the school authorities, courts, or pediatrician seem to consider this a necessity. They got her into art therapy for trauma but she got bored because it was more like basic art class and she just didn't like being constantly asked to talk about her feelings. I'm not directly responsible for her care but I want to help my in-laws help her. Thanks in advance!
Faith Love Kindness Peace I think that trying to scaffold her growth with compassion and reminders is more important than an official diagnosis. A diagnosis is always helpful in honing in on the specific challenges for the child, but our compassionate response is probably more important.
I would love to hear from you which are the tools you use to support your child with his challenges.
Thanks for watching! I have several videos in the ADHD playlist which may prove helpful.
What books can you suggest for children 6-10 to read/be read to them to help them understand at their level?
I did a video on this last year, I think - check out my ADHD playlist and it should be there! I’ll do an updated video on helpful books soon.
I’m telling you it all starts in kindergarten, that’s when they start the testing .
I struck my kid hard yesterday as I couldn't control my anger as he was spitting and applying it on his face, no matter how many times I told him not to he repeated it to to spite knowing it irritated me, I know I could have handled it better, but I m a single mother who could have handled it better but I m going through my own emotions and hyper tension since childhood, I feel so guilty and abusive now, I don't wanna live..this is very painful
We all make mistakes. It is good and important that you’re acknowledging that striking your child didn’t sit well with you or solve anything. When we lash out in frustration, it can serve as a good reminder to us as parents as what it feels like to be disregulated and overwhelmed by sensory/emotional input. When our kids feel this way, it is hard for them to think clearly and behave calmly. So the next time you feel out of control with frustration, a good option is to model self-control and regulation by taking a moment away from him. Physically separate yourself (provided he is safe) and find your calm in a quiet place. Then return, consider holding his hand or getting to his level, and speak calmly. There is no hurry to get to calm. You have the right to take your time. Center yourself before trying to fix things. Sometimes all anyone needs is a few moments before the next angry word to find their rational brain again. Set a timer if it helps. 💚
You are not abusive, he deserved what he got.
Please someone make me feel comfortable, can child with ADHD at age 15-16+ handle his own life? Should I stop worrying he can’t do anything if I died?
I can understand your worry, but it is never to late to build skills and grow! Gentle the pace and increase your patience and growth will steadily follow. Good luck!
Project Happy Home Thank you💙
My mom didn't believe I have ADHD and tried to punish me into being neurotypical.
I’m so sorry for your experience - it is all too common. Good luck with growing into all your awesome now!