Everything Wrong With Jupiter Ascending In 19 Minutes Or Less
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
- Jupiter Ascending. If you saw it, you hate yourself. If you didn't, you're one of the lucky people who can carry on with life as normal. It's a sinful motherf*cker.
Remember, only ONE sins video per week until October. But we'll have some stuff for Thursdays here and there as well.
Remember, no movie is without sin. Which movie's sins do YOU want to see recounted?
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"bees are genetically designed to recognize royalty" possibly the dumbest line in movie history.
StarCrusher As bad as some of the lines in Lucy.
SuperLordGaming unfortunately the everything wrong video was deleted by some copyright bullsh*t
Not the beeeeeeees
StarCrusher I love dogs, I've always loved dogs.
You bitchesssssssss. It was all for honeyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Can't wait for the sequel: Uranus expanding
XDDDDDDDDD NICE!
eKo Herzy Mercury deflating
+eKo Herzy And of course Pluto remaining still.
eKo Herzy How about Marsturbating?
eKo Herzy First ever UrAnus joke to make me laugh.
All you need to know about Jupiter Ascending:
1) It’s 2 hours of your life you’ll never get back.
2) The actors deserved better.
3) It’s good to know I’m not the only one who got serious John Carter vibes.
Hey, if I didn't watch this film, I would've been introduced to the patron Saint of Awful Movie Protagonists
I actually really like john Carter
John Carter was a pretty good movie, and I have few complaints.
The first one does not fit me
I’ve watched this 15 times and I love it
If we're being honest, I'm not sure the actors could have done better. This genre was a stretch for both Tatum and Kunis, and it showed.
How do you ignore that Jupiter's cousin wanted to sell her eggs? And she agreed because she wanted a telescope?! And without her agreeing to it, the rest of the movie doesn't happen. The Wachowskis actually thought "main character goes to clinic to sell her own eggs" was the best way to kick the plot into gear.
Not to mention she could in the very least buy an automated GPS equipped tracking telescope for that kind of money rather than a fucking brass thing that you couldn't focus on the moon without a huge amount of shaking.
Umm well you said the rest of the movie wouldn't have happened but Tatum was sent there to retrieve her so weird aliens trying to kill her or not he would have made contact with her. Also cinemasins already said why not just kill her when they wiped her memory when she took the picture. But either way Mr Tatum was gonna find her. Still a plot line.
Peatman it’s not always practical more sentimental
Remember her died over it because the Russian gang/Mafia stole her dad’s brass telescope.
Also why the fuck would she get 1/3 of the money and her cousin would get 2/3?
@@ankyfire Why would her cousin get ANY money when he can just donate sperm by jacking off.
I was watching the movie and like 25 minutes in I was like "fuck it I'll just watch the everything wrong wrong with it."
same here dude. this movie was too bad
+Blah Anger i made it through the whole thing. in theatres. do i get a prize of some kind?
same
+Antonia Baldassarre my congrats to a fellow survivalist. as bad as i found the movie, i still cant help but be fascinated by it. i mean fascinated where they thought all these different ideas, some good some bad, were expected to work together
"everything wrong wrong with it" *DING*
"Discount Channing Ta- HOLY SHIT WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM"
I LOLed at that
+Alex Noel you laughed out louded? That makes no sense
+Annoying Nerd someone's a nit picker. 🐸☕
+Alex Noel I'm sorry. When I see bad grammar, I have to correct it
+Annoying Nerd CZcams is the wrong place to do that. don't take yourself so seriously.
I watched this with my girlfriend on netflix I think. She went to the toilet half way through and I fast forward 30/40mins... she didn't notice.
Ur the hero everyone deserves
👏🏾🤣damn
Urrrrrrrr
Madlad
You petty af
This is how pointless my life is: I just watched this movie on Netflix guessing what the sins would be just so that I could watch this video after.
T Mo T your not the only one.
lol, same
What number did you come up with?
Fuck.... You caught me
You should have watched this first
So Channing Tatum is a spliced humanoid, werewolf, angel soldier with magic roller blades that glide on air. And Mila Kunis is a galactic queen because she kind of looks like Eddie Redmayne's dead mom. Got it.
lol
But then again, there's a fact about this movie's premise:
Nobody gave two fucks about it.
Don't forget that Mila Kunis, and Eddie Redmayne's dead mom (and most bearers of the web of drama connecting them) are space vampire gods. Which means that CinemaSins left "Underworld", and by extension "Romeo and Juliet" out of the list of stories this one stole from. But maybe this movie wasn't actually stolen. Maybe somebody in Hollywood just got really high and wanted to watch ten movies at once.
That's why a film critic called this film geek porn: "there're all the sci-fi elements that one has ever thought of and more".
Kyle Miller it’s supposed to be guessed that’s the timing indicated someone if not the mother herself planted the DNA that became the “reincarnation” coinciding with her death. What I wonder is how, we know that she owned Earth and she likely had it seeded, maybe planting her genetics in one of the profiles if you let your imagination run about how they even run that business and the R&D behind it., but she had a change of heart and remade herself to have none of the regrets or need for atonement. I rather ask if her asking to be murdered really ever cared if humans were cared for instead of harvested.
Lol, "bees don't lie". That has to be one of the stupidest lines ever
What about "I don't like sand"
+Cribsmas Morn. BOO👻👻👻
AnEvilPrinter Yep, even worse than "No, not the bees!"
What is it about bees that they always appear to play a role in really bad movies ?
They need better agents!
AnEvilPrinter I have to tattoo that somewhere on my leg
AnEvilPrinter You forgot:"What if we say no?""Say yes."
Is no one going to talk about Jupiter almost married her genetic son?
13:15
Real sick shit
Exactly!!!!
WHAT
No her reincarnation almost married her genetic son. Sligh difference
"Bella continues to narrate outside Twilight."
Makes me laugh every time.
‘Man, this looks like a very expensive piece of shit’
Nameless Avenger Jk
Sauce Uchihahahahahaha So true
your life is piece of shit
A friend and I felt like going to a movie. Went to the theater. This was the only English movie playing. The Korean movies likely would have been more intelligible to me than this mess.
I wanted to leave after ten minutes, but my friend was sleeping so peacefully, I felt bad waking him up.
Dude you went through that for your friend sleeping? You earn bro of the year.
Thebravekitten66 Naw, I woke him up after about an hour and a half.
Jaquelynn Gering Oh lol.
+Thebravekitten66 is that you Madoka?
I went through this entire review, yet I have no idea what the movie was about.
Great now you are just as knowledgeable about the movie as everyone who watched it.
Watch the honest trailer
Because it honestly explain the movie better than the movie itself did
4 times and in the same boat, but will try another 3 time then move on.
it's about space vampires and bees, it has some cool ideas, but the story is pretty shitty
@@tommerker8063 You forgot about rats and cooking. Oh wait a second... was that another subtle filmreference as well?
Eddie Redmayne explained that Balem suffered a throat injury, that's why he use that breathy-on-death bed voice. The Wachowski just didn't show it.
.....Excuse me? How in the actual fuck do you omit a damn good explanation for the line delivery of a awful character?!
How did he injured his throat? Trying deep throat side ways?
The wolf-guy, whose name I forget, bit him in the throat. Why he can still speak at all says a lot, I suppose, for alien surgery, but how come he can scream so loud? Don't get me wrong...I adore Eddie Redmayne. He was the reason I watched this weird movie in the first place. But on a TV chat show, he laughed his head off, slapping his legs in glee, over winning a Razzle Award. At least he's a good sport about it.
Waait
Does the movie say it was Channing Tatum's character???? Cause it if if didn't 😂
Uhm if any of you would have watched the movie and payed attension you would have heard the mention it
Eddie Redmayne screaming "Go" was not only the best sin, but the best part in the dang movie.
They also need to added the I CREATE LIVE with Jeremy repeat I create live line with flat tone
Hot, half-wolf alien dude with wings sounds EXACTLY like some fourteen year old's OC.
maximum ride hahahahaha
What's an OC? ... and also a 14 year old girls or boys?
OC means original character, most often used when someone puts an original character in a fan fiction. They can be pretty cringey.
Don't forget, he's also a loner who is emotionally scarred by royalty (for unexplained reasons) and could snap and kill people at any moment. *Edgy*
Sir, the DMV is still awful. I was just there this week. People were waiting OUTSIDE the building due to no more space inside.
Damn, you got ripped off. I was in and out of the DMV within like 20 minutes the last time I went
@@dixiecronin7791 Ripped off is a weird word to use since I don't pay for the DMV experience, but anyways, it all depends on the location, day, and time of day for sure. At the end of the day the DMV is not a place known for its innovation.
I'm impressed that they were able to list everything wrong in less than 19 minutes. I figured the "everything wrong" video would be longer than the actual movie.
I'm surprised there isn't a sin for every single scene with Mila Kunis saying " Mila Kunis is not my girlfriend in this scene."
I'm surprised he didn't say Mila Kunis isn't making out with Natalie Portman in this scene
I'm surprised people think she's so attractive that it would warrant a sin. She's like 'average chick at the mall' pretty, at best.
Tau Tauson Pft, Mila Kunis was voted most attractive woman in the world and I see why. She is definitely not average.
***** by who? I didn't vote for her. She's cute, but she ain't a 10 bruh.
***** Also "scene does not contain a lap dance".
4:33 "Discount Channing T-hooooly shit, what the fuck did they do to him?!" xD ok, you got me there
but holy shit, please stop saying "ex machina".
+JohannaMueller57 Why should he? If he enjoys saying the phrase, I do not see why he would say it less often.
+JohannaMueller57 And to be fair, this film did have a lot of bs ex machinas.
"You want your wings back?"
Just drink a Red Bull
But isn't he supposed to be half-wolf or something? Are wings not reserved for the half-birds?
hahaha good one!
Start ringing bells. Never mind, they’re not angels.
Want a sprite cranberry?
"I love dogs, I've always loved dogs." Movie adds disturbing subtext to this romantic scene!!
Add the one where the dude wants to marry his reborn mom. This movie is on my bottom 10 ever seen in a theater. It was a date, and turned ugly after seeing this travesty.
Shitty date if a bad movie can ruin it. Lmao.
And if you wanna get technical shes not "really" his mom anymore. New body and all... Still yuck mind you. But people used to ACTAULLY marry their siblings soo..... Not so far fetched. 👍😖
I think that one is right up there with Jacob falls in love with a baby.
I think she meant to come across as endearing but panicked because she in the moment and she ended up saying something awkward... Hence why she sighed after he left.
After watching this, you guys are going to have a ball sinning the heck out of the new "Fantastic Four" movie.
What Burns My Bacon i agree i want it to have so much sins like 999999999999999999999999sins in there
Eric Arellano I haven't seen it, but it can't be as bad as the last one.
Mike Sico well thats your opinion but my problem with the movie dat has so much talking & not a lot of violence and my opinion is dat i like 2005 and 2007 movie better but this fantastic four is ok meaning i want to like it even more
Mike Sico The 2005 movie and Rise of the Silver Surfer are both pretty good movies when compared to the 2015 one. Fant4stic is honestly one of the worst movies ever made. I'm not talking Green Lantern bad, or Daredevil bad, I'm talking much worse. It was a terrible, boring, unnecessary film. Even Silver Surfer wipes the floor with it.
***** Guys guys, wtf, are you kidding? Jupiter ascending is horrible! how fantastic 4 can be worst? it fails at everything from the cast to the plot! I m starting to have serious problem understanding how those film get made. well I m not going to spend money on it, but that make me fucking curious... when you think of the amount of money throw on those shit, the number of people fooled by the franchise and all of the system that make it possible I just want to throw up.
Mila Kunis: I love dogs.
Anybody else remember that one episode from Family Guy?
TheShadowMarioBros Yeah, I felt cheated when CinemaSins didn't reference "Family Guy" or say "Shut up, Meg."
Is Mila Kunis becoming Meg?
Shut up, meg
+The Leisure Critics she has been meg for a long ass time
TheShadowMarioBros Yeah - I'm gonna remember that episode for a wHile...
Yes! You said "I couldn't care less". Thank you! I am so friking sick of people saying "I could care less" for things they don't care about - but you got it correct. Well done.
Honestly, I liked the premise. Sci-fi drama/adventure with some Games of Thrones vibe in it. That's the reason I first watched it.
True, BUT there’s a reason why GOT was done over 7 seasons. You can’t fit all the politics, nuances, and microplots in one movie.
@@ankyfire And even GOT fucked it up in the end.
I liked most of it but hated the end. In th end she is back cleaning toilet end stuff again but now happy about it, just because she is in love. She is a queen who ones more then one planet and she chooses that kind of live? Terrible.
The whole Earth storyline could be scrapped.@@sawanna508
It would be a lot quicker to just list off everything right with the movie.
ThatOneShyguy but the video would be less than a minute long XD
ThatOneShyguy Michael Giacchinos score is good
So a 5 second video?
Dylan Antill p
Win 1: "Errr... Nevermind, let's do another movie"
Am I the only one that heard FTL and immediately thought "Faster Than Light?" Pretty sure that's what they meant by it because it's the only way you'd be able to communicate across interstellar distances without a long delay...
I'm pretty sure everyone thought "faster than light" because that's what it stands for. The strange thing about this usage is that it's referring to communication and not travel, which is the sci-fi norm.
+Joe ? (What?) OK, good so I'm not the only one... Yeah, I totally agree, it's usually used for referring to travel, but still makes sense for communication. I just thought it was funny this guy sinned it because he seems to think he's so clever and yet couldn't figure out this simple thing/thinks others are too dumb to...
He knows what it stands for, but the line should have been "an ftl message" or something similar. He mocked them for stating that they received a faster than light, since (in sci fi) you can receive something that traveled ftl, but not an ftl
+MegaDale42 I get what you're saying but I have to disagree. In context the word "message" is unnecessary, it is obvious what he means. You wouldn't say "we've received an FTL" referring to someone arriving by FTL travel (which for these people is a given part of travel considering the distances they cover.) Bottom line is that I knew exactly what the person meant when they said it, as did most anyone who is familiar with scif/science, so I still don't think it should have been counted as a sin.
+ZombieWilfred the same can be said of a significant amount of sins in all their videos, but intentionally misunderstanding things in order to make fun of it is one of the ways the channel demonstrates that the sin totals shouldn't be taken seriously. check out the eww cinemasins
When I watched that movie for the first time, I found it popcorny but pretty silly though entertaining ("I love dogs!" 😂). And then I found your review and two things happened: 1) This has become my favorite CinemaSins review so far 😘 I watch it so often just for the shere fun of it! and 2) The movie actually became a cherished part of my DVD collection and everytime I watch it, I literally can hear the CinemaSis' comments in my head (inlcuding the 'ping' of the sin counter). 😂
So, thank you very much for your fine work! 👍🏻😁
When i saw this movie for the first my only shield and way to continue watching was the concept of "this must be an adaptation, surely all of this is better explained in the book" There wasn't a book....and I did believe that for a lot of years...
I wanted to like this movie so much.... I've tried to watch it three times, this is the first time I've seen the ending
I am so proud of you. Had the same problem with Titanic btw....
I wanted to like this movie so much also, but I only sat through it and watched it once thankfully. I'm always looking out for good Sci-Fi movies, so I get excited when I see ones that have A lister actors in them (although I personally don't think the two main characters are that great of actors, not bad just not great), and finding a good Sci-Fi movie these days are hard to come by. I also had the same exact experience with Aeon Flux. Couldn't get through even half of it, and I tried at least 3 times.
I was so excited by the trailers (never mind the fact that it was an original script for once, not based on a comic or a book or a previous movie.) Then I saw the reviews and decided not to see it in theaters, but I looked up the plot, and my jaw hit the floor at how stupid it was.
that's not true Mila Kunis is a great actor. If she wasn't she wouldn't have played in a lot of movies, and voiced characters.
There were four great actors in the lead roles. So i expect them to pick good scripts
Every time Eddie Redmayne talks, I keep thinking I'm hearing a bad impression of Dumbledore.
Did you mean Voldemort?
But a great impression of Voldemort
Balem’s mood swings was the result of the Godfather Pigeon from Animaniacs performing a Dragonball fusion dance with Tourette’s Guy
I saw Mika Kunis on James Cordons show doing the “spill your guts/fill your guys” and one of the questions was “can you explain the plot of ‘Jupiter Ascending?’” She tried for a minute, gave and ate something gross. Now I get why she had such a hard time.
"Discount Channing Tatu--HOLY SH*T" I'm so done with this channel. lmao
"Bees don't lie" has to BEE my favorite Sin given to a movie yet.
Holy moley. 10:22 Jupiter Jones reference, I thought nobody else in the Verse knew about the greatest boy detective ever. Well done!
Was totally expecting a "rips off other movie" bonus round :(
I got to say I’m a little disappointed. I thought that for the wedding scene you would’ve actually over dubbed... MAWWAIGE. MAWWAIGE is what brings us togevvew today.
One thing that pissed me off about this, if you were to stand on Jupiter your spine WILL break, the gravity is too strong there.
Double - N Spine? Bitch please! You'll turn in a nice meaty carpet with enough time spent there.
DIMOHA25 Indeed.
No I mean people who experienced 20Gs were never able to walk again, I'm pretty sure Jupiter is more than 20Gs.
Double - N the conceit of the film is that there is a massive industrial complex hidden behind the Great Red Spot of Jupiter. If they can do that, they'll have sorted gravity out!
Rachael1918 Yeah but you see them escape it's sphere of influence, so even if they do sort that out it's still bullshit.
Double - N Uhm, how exactly would it be possible to stand on Jupiter in the first place? It's a gas planet...
Everyone knows that "FTL" stands for "French the Llamas!"
SpecialQue85 everyone knows this.
SpecialQue85 It is known.
Oui oui! Hon hon hon baguette Eiffel Tower! Mademoiselle terre de pomme croissants!
SpecialQue85
You know as a kid, I always thought FTL (Obviously French the Llamas).. actually meant "Fuxk The Llamas"
SpecialQue85 Faster than light?
Thumbs up for the Firefly reference! Mal was who I thought of when you said 'The Verse'.
honestly the floating laser skates look cool and fun to use
You forgot the scene when the girl use an sanitary napkin to cover the guy's wounds. That was the moment when I had to stop the movie.
+Chris Decarvalho Actually, considering what they're used for (Not to squick anyone or anything), that's kinda sound thinking. Of course, because she uses it sticky-side down, she promptly negates any sound thinking (as that's not the side meant for absorbing... stuff).
+chenb0t plus Jupiter has a vagina, shouldn't she know which side goes where??
+CN what I'm Saiyan? Exactly what I'm saying hahaha. It was actually a good idea until she did that and negated any usefulness it might've had.
+Chris My exact feelings, but for a different reason. Aren't first aid kits mandatory in cars in the US? Because they are in Germany...
+EinNameDenKeinerHat Unfortunately, they are not. Not on the national level, at least. Each state has different laws, so there might be some that require first aid kits. But, there are probably just as many that don't. Hell, there are some places here where it's still legal to text and drive-precaution and safety don't tend to survive the bureaucracy and unfathomable idiocy that is the US government (both national and state level).
I went to see this for my birthday.
You can guess how much I enjoyed that day.
+Sparkling Enope Better than watching Epic Movie on your birthday. At least the effects for Jupiter Ascending are okay.
***** Did the cheeseiness not cancel it out?
"this guys face looks like a trip to the moon" 😂 😂 😂
"And they probably complicate pegging." LMAO
please do unfriended, it needs to be destroyed!
I was so thinking that
Yyyeeeessss!!!
Agreed. That movie was simply horrid.
Kmaster73 I love that one! Totes agree dude!
Kmaster73 Was that the one where the girl kills herself and then haunts some people in a Skype call or something?
"My bees don´t lie", by Shakira.
Daniel Rodríguez Sha-bee-ra, Sha-bee-ra.
Daniel Rodríguez she-kira you
NOOOO THE BEES AAAAAAAA
Actually Mila's real story isn't that far from this story.
She learned English from the TV.
She looked very good as Jupiter in those gowns.
Tatum had the "protector" role down.
The "I love dogs" thing was cute.
I liked it.
Redmayme actually was a bad guy!
The girl and her dog bit was cool.
The cross slicing clone/manufactured being was interesting.
The last flight scene with a "sky board" was neat.
I liked it.
Respect for the "Three Investigators" books reference.
Also, when the guy was going to marry Jupiter, isn't that like incest? Jupiter is his mother in a way.
Shit, you're right.
+1 for incest.
Anaya Etheridge and it's genetically incest too, ugh now this is getting wierd
Anaya Etheridge well they ARE royalty
+Anaya Etheridge The Aristocrats.
Anaya Etheridge Incest is a must for them because of the genes.
The dude from CinemaSins has one of the most evil villain sounding laughs in all of youtube.
Who, and I mean _who,_ thought the main male protagonist being an alien werewolf angel soldier was a good idea?
It's like they listed all the things that makes tween girls write fanfiction and put it all in one character
I love this film, for me the only blooper was the sanitary pad and the fact that Kane's hair kept changing colour ,,, and of course the ending scene when she flinches but the wings haven't actually surrounded them yet ...
Indeed. It’s a masterstroke of shit.
you know it is a bad movie when it is the only movie in which Eddie Redmayne can't act
Roland Kramer he was lucky it didn't come out a month earlier, and cost him his oscar.
This makes you realize Redmayne basically whisper-talks in almost every role he does.
He’s a fantastic actor.
Blame the Wachowskis for their terrible direction and screenwriting
This movie was so over edited and so over done not to mention it got so boring after 20 minutes
Let's not forget the acting was awful
***** And there was way too much visual noise.
DovahSpy And they couldn't be assed to take another cut to get better delivery on the lines.
+z. (quit lol) I liked Ariyon Bakare as Greeghan though. It wasn't Benedict Cumberbatch tier, but compared to the rest of the film, his dragon-lizard-thingie voice was the only thing I enjoyed.
+z. (quit lol) not to mention it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It's a classic case of trying too hard to be original and making a clusterfuck of what.
also, that business with the Bees reminded me of a line in a fantasy novel: "bees cannot abide the presence of evil."
that's from a book called "the sleeping beauty" by Mercedes Lackey. it's a hilarious book that jumbles several classic stories together in very silly ways.
Even with modern tech, the DMV still manages to be a horror show of no account inefficiency.
"Men do not like smart women." Um, I find smart women to by highly attractive, thank you very much.
jayblade2000 Exactly, it's just a random dumb line for the character.
He is right tho.
jayblade2000 the film is not advocating that viewpoint by having one of the characters say it - Jupiter's mom shoots him down immediately afterwards.
Samrat Singh Rathore "Bros" don't like smart women. "Men" don't agree on much of anything, much less taste in women, and have been killing each other over it for thousands and thousands of years.
+jayblade2000 "Dumb men do not like smart women."
A little rectification was in order.
" what guys sound like when seeing Mila Kunis" hurt myself laughing
Because its true, because you did it?
bigbullbk Nope, not my type
derrick watson I'm in the same boat. I think she's a good looking chick but she does not for me.
derrick watson I thought I was the only one who caught that xD
i lol'd so hard at that xD
Meanwhile in Asgard... 😂
2:59 Here's me- "What? Dude, you are literally 5ft away. I can't here you. Someone get this man a mega phone."
-
I now apoligize to Marvel, Captain America, Black Panther, and really everything/everyone for paraphrasing Black Panther's line in regards to this movie.
16:20 Antagonist taunts main character by telling him or her that he or she doesn't have it in them to pull the trigger cliché
Divergent rip-off 😂😂
I TOTALLY wasted my money on that one...
Really Unskilled good thing i torrented it and then wrote 0's all over it after 3 min just to make sure no part of it is left on my hdd
Really Unskilled Think about the money that went into the production of this turd...
same I want my money back
It's weird when you pay to sleep
+Really Unskilled Piracy fallacies aside: you should've seen that coming.
"Everything Wrong with 'Jupiter Ascending'" would need to be a 127-minute-long project.
Or just few seconds short....answer is in the first word or that title - "Everything..."
10:10
When I watched this, I literally told my mom that this guy sounds like Voldemort
What the hell sort of last name for a Russian family is Jones?
Its from her grandfather, an English diplomat. you were not paying attention, were you?
+696190 Nah, I simply haven't seen the movie proper. There must have been something, considering he didn't sin it. It's still out of place.
I just finished watching the video and all I can remember is "Lazer Skates!" and I'm usually good at remembering small details. WTF!?!?
you're right Jones is actually Scottish.
+696190
Nobody gave a shit about the story for the exposition overload and how uninteresting it was.
Mila Kunis = overrated.
Channing Tatum = overrated.
Jupiter Ascending = shit.
Joey Marlin IV now thats a sentiment I can get behind.
Are they really overrated? I don't see them getting Oscar nods or anything. And they seem to be in films that don't even strive for awards. Plus, I don't know anyone that would consider them acting juggernauts. I'm not knocking your opinion. I just think that maybe you meant bad and not overrated.
Joey Marlin IV But she's hot so its okay. Right?
Joey Marlin IV i'd agree, but i think Channing, is slowly becoming better. He's turning into a better actor, but it's just that he's been in movies that aren't helping...lol he was good for his role in Foxcatcher, and i want him to keep getting roles in good movies that DO help. But yeah, i agree about Mila Kunis...And also, why do so many people think she's so hot? She looks pretty average to me...but how the fuck can i say that, since compared to me she looks like the most perfect, super sexy, angelically beautiful woman on earth...XD
Alexiz001 You can't be that bad looking?
When I saw “Everything Wrong With Jupiter Ascending in 19 minutes or less.” I thought, wow, they’re gonna need waaaaaaay more than 19 minutes
Lmfao the writing on this channel is genius.. the “verse” joke was gold
I didn't know this movie existed and I'm glad.
Thank you cinema sins I've dodged another bullet.
Lmao just realize in this movie the queen of earth is Jupiter
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha clever 😑😑😑😑
New Gods Me too. Although even watching this Everything Wrong With is proving pretty painful.
Honestly, this channel makes me want to watch many of these movies just so I can watch the Cinemasins episodes of those movies. lol
Miles Wright I just watch the cinema sins instead of the movies, it saves time and its more entertaining.
New Gods At least she didn't had to marry a guy named, Uranus :D
TowerSavant Yes, this movie is that bad. I laughed a lot but, even so, I can't really imagine how painful watching this whole movie was... but then I've watched Speed Racer, and I remember the anime from my childhood... could this have been worse?!?
Cinema Sins Makes it faster, easier, and free of charge to watch movies.
Thank you Cinema Sins for making me hate movies, and enjoying that. :)
The Laser Skates thing did throw it off. But what I gathered was it was like an Aladdin type story, and that was his Magic Carpet.
It’s just all anime inspired with some token references to other things done poorly.
16:10
Exactly!!! Just like that kissing scene in Aquaman. Having a kissing scene, a very long passionate one..in the middle of a freaking WAR.
Let's not forget Will and Elizabeth got married in the middle of battle.😂
I love how Eddie Redmayne actually said he didn't really like the movie!😆
I think Eddie could have played a great villain but he was handed a horrible script, If he was handed a good script he would have been quite good
Syl Gibson actually he did the character well, he did what he was told it's just the character was complete shit
Aha! When did say that? I'd like to read the comment. How in Hell's Bells did he get talked into doing this in the first place? I mean like at his stellar credits! He could have done a lot better with this if he'd had a halfway decent script.
Is that why he whispered all the way through it? So no one would know he was in it?? I could hardly hear a Goddamn thing he was saying. He could have been reciting all of Les Mis for all I knew!
CinemaSins has changed the way I watch movies
Right? Not long ago I caught myself thinking "roll credits" while watching a movie.
Not long ago I caught myself thinking the word 'cliche' a lot while watching movies.
+Карина Умбетова haha me too
the laser skates are literally the solution to every problem that the protagonists have in this move, show me one scene that the laser skates didnt help them get out of a problem
Next time you're talking to a bee, just know it's telling the truth.
"This guys eye looks like a trip to the moon." lost it
doing the math, at 127 minutes and 225 sins, that is roughly 1.7 sins per minute.
After the first 10 minutes, the only reason I finished the movie was so I could appreciate this CZcams video more. Might be 19 minutes or less, but its worth 2 hours of time for sure!
Where are these automated DMVs you speak of?
Wait... Isnt that elf ear dude a mix of a wolf and a normal human.
WHY the f*ck did he have wings?
Technology.
Does it matter? Really? I n a film where anything goes?
Lots of furries have hybrid fursonas.
Mila Kunis had the exact same facial expression the whole fucking movie. No emotion whatsoever.
+The Media She must've been trying to follow Kristen Stewart's example in all the Twilights
Joseph Quinn that might be true
13:14 Best part! ♥
I told my siblings, even though he's sadistic, I'd still let him tap that. 😂 Douglas Booth can like, get it.
How do you not sin the Meg Griffin parallels of Jupiter being treated like shit but is played by Mika Kunis
Whose idea was it to cast Channing Tatum in this? All I see is a bloody male stripper. And Mila Kunis has the emotional range of a frozen steak.
+Gaius 10 i would rather watch the steak.
+Malfurion Stormrage watch the steak cleaning toilets :)
Stop insulting the steak! It was once a part of a living breathing animal!
Unlike Mila Kunis!
+Gaius 10 like carrie anne-moss in the trilogy of matrix
Victor Riquelme Oh yes i hated her in every single one
"Did you know there are antelopes called dik diks?"
BEST LINE EVER
I chose to watch this instead of the movie... THANK YOU.
"If I do nothing but whisper my lines, maybe they'll be convincing in spite of their banality."
well, obviously nobody remembered the aliens in Chicago because they're Silents.
Which Aliens?😂
LeviosaElm Exactly.
Oooooooooooooh
+Lessien Séregon hahaha that's actually a really cool idea
Lessien Séregon you mean they are the silence*
List of movies Jupiter Ascending ripped off:
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Masters of the Universe
Cinderella
Signs
Blade Runner
Superman Returns
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (which did NOT rip off The Fifth Element)
Men in Black
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Ernest Saves Christmas
Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Star Trek: Into Darkness
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope
The Black Hole
Evangelion
Wedding Crashers
This film rips off more movies than The Asylum does with ONE of their movies.
Zach K having elements in common with does not equate to 'ripping off'. Star Wars is just as guilty as 'ripping off' other movies according to the loose standard you seem to be using.
+Rachael1918 I think it was a joke :)
+Zach K (filmbuff95) Don't forget Soylent Green and Maid in Manhattan :D
Sharon Gregory maybe, but I've seen many people present it as a serious criticism of the film (which is rather silly!)
Rachael1918 There ARE people who say that there aren't any original ideas, but in that case, they're looking for the most unique combination of such. In the case of "Star Wars," it was more or less an experiment on the Hero's Journey Layout, but keep in mind that until 1977, nobody had really done it on that scale before. In a way, the familiar western-romance/ knights-and-princess story made the world more inviting. Who wouldn't want to be captain of the Millennium Falcon after seeing it blast into hyperspace like that?
That's probably where "Jupiter Ascending" fails- it doesn't offer any new light on those ideas. Nobody was really surprised when they found out what the miracle elixir was because, unfortunately, we all saw the Matrix. As soon as we heard that the master race was growing humans, we knew it had to be for some nefarious purpose that would keep them eternally young.
In terms of storytelling, characters, aesthetics, and cinematography, any one could be forgiven on its own for being similar to another film. But all of them at once (like that painfully familiar wedding scene in the second act) tell us that it's clearly uninspired to be original.
Is it weird that “this dude not only shops at Walmart, but actually waits in line there?” was what stood out most to me?
Whenever I hear the name "Titus", Heavy appears in my subconsciousness saying "Pootis man".
Boy, have I seen a lot of Gmod videos.
Movie accidentally captured footage of Eddie Redmayne being bored! 😂😂 poor redmayne! He is such an amazing actor. Why did he do this to himself
He probably heard that Sean Bean was going to do it and thought "well, it can't be TOO bad".
...ice cream
Maybe he needed a quick paycheck.
Honestly, I think that this was his paid vacation. He got a paycheck, so he just said "sod it" and did what ever he wanted and had fun, instead of actually putting effort into it, hence going from not giving a crap to GOOOOOOOO!.
@@bernlin2000 "well if Sean makes it without getting killed, it's not *that* bad"
Do Pixels please!
They can't until it's on DVD.
DeDeDork 649 why?
you must be stupid
Jadelan Bach there's only one sin in that movie, Adam fucking Sandler
Jadelan Bach One of the sins was holding Peter Dinklage fucking hostage :L
The lizard-person reminded me more of the Warcaft franchise, because it sounded like it was speaking in Nazja; the language of the Naga.
How come you didn't do a reference to "everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings?"