Comparing The Meanings & Rise Of The "Pick Me Girl" vs "Pick Me Boy"
Vložit
- čas přidán 30. 01. 2022
- Comparing The Rise Of The "Pick Me" Girl vs Boy
#pickme #pickmegirl #pickmeboy #commentary #psychology #taramookney
This video is inspired by the CZcamsr Tara Mookney-she had an amazing “Pick Me Girl” video on her channel that either got privated or deleted. Because the video was so good, I am recreating it with my own twist, paraphrasing & going off of some of the points she made.
Back in 2020, we saw a rise in the popularity of the term being a “pick me.” While the pick me girl is more commonly referenced, do not be fooled, because there is definitely also pick me boys. While being a pick me isn’t a medical diagnosis, it has a strong presence in Gen Z & millennial TikTok pop culture. We are going to compare the two and dissect their meanings.
Both pick me girls and pick me boys have one main goal, and that is to attract a partner. Now, it’s human nature to want to find a relationship, but the difference is that pick me girls and boys. Do it by differentiating themselves from other people of the same gender. Each gender classically strives for this goal with 2 opposing behaviors. One of my TikTok follower's said, they cancel each other out, and we will get into why that is, or is not the case.
By the way, my channel is taking off, and I wanted to say "THANK YOU" so much if you’re a subscriber! If you are not, feel free to hit the free subscribe button and bell to stay updated with my content.
Now, this word gets thrown around a lot. Simply going out of your way to flirt with guys and wanting to be “picked” as a girlfriend doesn’t make you a "pick me" girl.
What these definitions point out is that "pick me" girl attracts attention by putting down other women. That really is a hallmark of a "pick me" female. When it comes to locking down a heterosexual romantic relationship, other women are competition, and to the "pick me" girl, it must be known that she is better than them.
First off, everyone has felt insecure about something at some point in their life. Without a doubt, some insecurities run deeper than others. For example, in med school, if I didn’t do as well as I wanted on an exam in med school, I would feel insecure about it. In order to overcome that lack of confidence, I would work harder and address my weaknesses in order to do well on the next test.
Now, I think, "pick me" behaviors, in general, are rooted in insecurities towards relationships. Many people have felt a lack of confidence in the dating world, but how you cope with that uncertainty makes a huge difference.
The pick me girl interested in a heterosexual relationship sees other females as a danger or threat to her ability to find a boyfriend. In order to soothe that anxiety, what does she do? Leveling. She cuts other women down and boasts about herself.
Thank you for watching and feel free to subscribe for more
-Dr. Ryan - Zábava
Also I’m pretty sure the origin of the “pick me” came from blackTok where they made fun of black people who wanted white validation. The term came from the videos of them dressing up as slaves and saying “pick me massa”
Thank you for adding that!
Oh I didn't know that!!!! We had this stuff it just didn't have wordsss...
Yeah that's the context I learned it in too.
Pretty sure the term is older than tiktok... i remember back in like 2003 saying some girls were 'pick me' girls....
thnx this is what I was looking for
as a recovering "pick me girl" I'm sorry to all the females I knew when I was a teen, I was very insecure. I promise I am better now.
Lol
I didn't know I was a pick me boy for open self-hatred. Thank you!
As someone who is aromantic and asexual, I really appreciated that caveat on the attraction part
To be honest I feel like the irony of the term pick me in terms of girls is that people claim that these so-called “pick me girls “ or just looking for men’s attention. I don’t know about you, but it gives me the same energy as calling a girl a slut for wanting to wear more revealing clothing, you know? Also to be honest same with guys, like why is the automatic assumption that he’s just being a “pick me boy “when maybe he just might be voicing his insecurities? How come it’s OK for a girl do that but not a boy?
Complete agree on that irony of the terms. The generalization on both sides is kinda shallow and programmed, I’ve met girls who grew up with brothers and like guys more but don’t put other women down yet still gets called PM girl, then with guys yeah some men have insecurities and voice them out and get labeled as such when woman can…
I think these generalizations are scary shallow because women will be attacked for going against their own tribe while men will be called out for being insecure, it’s baffling people think like this
Let's just say, insecurity never wins anybody over. pick me girls also used to say (the scene days online, y'all know) "I don't want a confident cocky guy, I want the sad lonely guy that can share our insecurities" yeah no girl you don't!
Had this experience first time i dated a kid as my little edgy emo self... I quickly learned what therapy and suicide threats are!
My dating got worse over time and I only just realized I do not want a man with low self esteem, I can't be held responsible for his emotions on top of my own cluster fuck of them! 😒
My daughter sent me this with the title "My Dorm Mate" 🤣
Honestly, "Pick me girls" is just the new way other girls cut down their competition. Specifically, the tomboy competition. They're effectively recognizing how much more attractive they are to men, compared to themselves. But since it is painful for a woman to admit that another woman is more attractive, she will insult whatever unique traits about her she observes. The easier the unique traits are to observe, the more likely they are to be called a Pick me. Hence, why tomboys are the target. Thoughts?
At least she will talk to you faster than a jerk when you show humility as it feels safe.
This was hart to watch through, I hope your mental health is still in good shape. But some nice overview which you sometimes need
Elder millennial checking in. Back in my day.. We had attention seekers and oh poor me guys? Nice guys. I'm not sure if that is still a thing. Nice guys though, weren't really nice. They were really just guys who didn't understand what they were doing wrong and blamed it on them being nice. And girls were either just attention seekers and didn't want to put time into female relationships or literally just weren't into female things.. or wanted to pull other girls down to bring themselves up. No matter what - you're right, it was all about anxiety in relationships. I think in the DSM it's somewhere under anxiety or social anxiety somewhere :) Do those little fingers pointing at each other have a name? I am sincerely curious. I asked my younger co-workers and they're either laughing at me cause they are working at home and can do that or they don't know a name..
As I wobble back to my hole
Although I think the whole pick me girl thing is really derogatory, because I know at the time also this was often times a way to reject women and girls socially and otherwise whom did not fit into the stereotypical category of being at all feminine. I know I don’t and did not, and it eventually led to me even contemplating whether I was actually meant to be a boy instead of a girl, and obviously this was long long before transgender was being talked about regularly, so I had no concept of it except for I just wanted to be a boy. I eventually realize that, it’s our societies negative outlook on women and girls who don’t fit into gender stereotypes, that made me feel this way. Now I’m happily a woman and breaks gender stereotypes, and just like how a woman or a girl who wears mini skirts aren’t automatically trying to get guys attention, women and girls who are stereo typically masculine in every single way are trying to just get guy attention either. Both are equally trying to be themselves .
Dang, I just learned Im a pick me, fml 🤦♂️
You just did exactly what was in the video 💀
I looked this up cause i feel like the insult pick me girl is used too often. Yes, ive def met girls who fit the criteria but im afraid junior high and high schools girls who honestly like sports, cars and arent into makeup may be called pick me girls just for that. Because people assume you choose your interest in order to impress others.
You should have looked at Dave Rubin and examined whether he qualified as a Pick Me Gay. That has an interesting layer in that PMGays can be Pick Mes in both directions. The classic direction would be to try to get picked by straights, but the PM strategy is also occasionally used to curry leftist favour as well.
These examples just look like labelling sweetly insecure guys.
That hater’culture
Pick me boys are like sadbois in the PH😂
Those lines in the beginning are exceedingly manipulative like those of a vulnerable narcissist… passive aggressive for sure
Yeah, pick me boys behave like covert narcissist
80% of pick me boy you show is more like simp in my point of view.
I had a conversation with a friend about this guy who bodied his girlfriend for breaking up with him in my area I told my friend that guy was an idiot for throwing away his life over a female and if the woman doesn’t want him just move on cuz rejection is a part of life and it’s not something that should be taking personal I said dudes who get in there feelings over rejection are soft and this girl overheard me and him talking and said I’m a pick me I didn’t know what that was cuz I’m too old for these terms so I looked it up on CZcams and saw this video and decided to click on it and from watching this video I definitely don’t fit the description of a pick me and I wasn’t saying it to get female attention cuz I don’t care about getting validation from a woman that girl is dumb
So valuing human life makes you a pick me? People are a scary level of stupid...