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Narcissistic Couples
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- čas přidán 13. 08. 2024
- In this video, I explain the different types of narcissistic couples, including when both partner have a narcissistic style versus a full blown personality disorder, as well as the combinations of 2 vulnerable narcissists; 2 grandiose narcissists; a grandiose narcissist with a covert narcissist, as well as when the relationship involves someone who consistently shows signs of both the grandiose and vulnerable types of narcissism.
If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe so that others might find help in it as well! I would so greatly appreciate it. 💜
It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏
/ @liseleblanc
About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
For information about private consultations, please visit: liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
What is a Successful Relationship? (0:00)
Assortative Mating (1:19)
3 Important Factors to Consider (2:15)
Factors That Increase the Chance of Success (3:55)
What If Two Full Fledge Narcissists Get Together? (5:49)
Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists (9:16)
Two Grandiose Narcissists (11:19)
#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist
I was friends with a narc couple , they were like a business machine ,everything was about money and who could be useful to them to gain more assets.I actually think they didn't like each other, it was a marriage of convenience.She spent most of her time with female friends .
Yep Alonzo and I see it and you know what they evenly yolked at least two predators are off the market. And we know narcissist never leave each other so you don't have to ever worry about them again
@@mrs.acreary5932just imagine all the collective heartache that is saved by those two narcissists becoming a couple.
Very good description! Actually female narcissists are bisexual, that's the reason they spend more time with their friends.
Like the Underwood couple from House of Cards!
My BF and I are narcissistic, it seems like we hate eachother but we don't, we see the flaws first in everything, including eachother, constant criticism by nature on both sides but we want eachother to work on fixing eachothers flaws in a constructive way. We both blame eachother for the simplest of problems but in the same breath idolise eachother. 7 years together so far, the only competition between us is who can give eachother more money/gifts. The resentment and blame is a real issue but neither of us back down from eachother in argument, harsh realities laid on the table, We make eachother laugh as much as we tare eachother down but it's all constructive. Both fed up of starting again with people who can't handle our shit, so building our "empire" together, besides working we spend ALL of our time together, full on
Pretty ugly relationship full of rage, disrespect, vindictiveness and materialism. A soulless way to live together.
I just saw a narcissist couple in the laundry room at a hotel I'm staying at. First the energy when they entered triggered me to not engage. The old lady looked at me and I didn't give eye contact. She didn't say good morning nor did I as I had turned my back to her. They both sounded like they needed oxygen breathing very oddly. Suddenly the old lady says the washer is free. I said thank you without looking her way actually greyrocking her. She then says it takes 30 minutes for the washer and that they don't tell you how long it takes. I never responded and never looked her way. I can recognize these people very easily now and will never give them my precious energy again!
I totally get feeling that narcissistic energy! My son is dating a narcissist and I just met her mother for the 1st time. As soon as she got into the car the energy was toxic. I couldn't bare to sit in the car for the few hours drive it took to get to out destination. My anxiety was SO HIGH I literally jumped out of the almost parked car. I fear for my son but the has her hooks in him pretty tight at the moment.
My covert ex had an affair with a grandiose friend. They were caught out and had to move in together or faced life on the street. They have now teamed up and their main goal is infiltrate and destroy my life. Its been total hell for months, but I'm slowly gettingn to the point of indifference. I have closed off all access points to my life, only door I can't shut is via co-parenting. The manipulation, intimidation and bullying is nothing short of sickening. But the only reaction they are getting and seeing is from my divorce attorney.
Hello, thanks for sharing. I am on a similar life moment. Lived with covert narc for 12 years, 2 daughters. I asked him to move out from my house 3 years ago. No contact since. Kids see him only once a year, they are not looking forward to see their dad, although I never restricted. The only contact is now via my attorney. Its beautiful. I do not see any manipulation, gas light, lies, deminises, etc.
I hope you're doing well ❤
Thank you Lise! I have long struggled to understand my parents, who had alcohol, prescription drug and sex addiction issues. Last year I figured out that they were grandiose/vulnerable narcissists. I am really amazed to finally see such an honest, accurate and insightful description of their relationship.
In early 2022 many of us watched the trial involving a very famous Hollywood acting couple. Your description of the grandiose/grandiose situation was by far the best analysis I have ever seen of that relationship. Hope to see more in depth video like this. Thank you for your work!
I think that's the majority of Hollywood isn't it?
Yes they need to be with each other. They are so much alike.
As long as they can give each other supply and be functional for each other and make each other look good in public
But realistically this is rare until death do them part
Thank you so much for this video because others believe that it's not possible, yet my parents and many other couples I've known over the years were both clearly narcissistic, especially when alcohol and/or other drugs are part of the equation!
As you've stated, it's extremely complex though with different types and factors involved in the situations. ❤
Excellent breakdown once again Lise. Your content is right on. My narcissist ex talked about a past relationship with a narcissist. I believe in that relationship my ex was the vulnerable and her partner was the grandiose because my ex talked about being abused to the point of not knowing he was she was anymore. She talked about that ex the most and how badly it affected her. It was then that i believe her alcohol and xanax addiction really became out of control and she was on her way to really losing her mind because of anxiety and deep feeling's of worthlessness. She coped by becoming addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs and it eventually destroyed her liver and took her life. Very sad. I never dreamed in a million years that i would experience something like this. But i've been 3 years no contact with self healing, so i'm doing much much better. The deeper you get involved the longer it takes to heal if you are even fortunate enough to survive snd get out.
Great feedback on N&N relationship. I hope all the N females in my X narcissistic harem end up the same. They were demons abusing me together with him. All these demons should go to Hell.
Minor grandious male, spent over a decade w a severe covert female. Two to three first years were great while blissfully unaware of our disorders.
Then, stayed for the sex and dominance and somewhat stuck in hero role until I overcame the dynamic. She'd cultivate secret new supply and discard me for short times, and this gradually became more the norm and for longer times as I stopped chasing and caring and we just used each other. Ten years of on and off again breakups and great makeup sex.
I'm now too self aware and she couldn't follow me to this place of acceptance of our personalities. Had to move to avoid the hoovering temptation. It's super tempting for me.
Feel free to ama..
You are precise in your language and I appreciate what you’re doing. Thank you!!
This has made me wonder if my Nex and I were both Narcs!? We slept in separate bedrooms at opposite ends of the house.
I have to say your explanations of those phenomenas are best on the internet. Very well structured and they touch on most important details. Great job! Looking forward for 100k subs this year, you deserve more!
I wonder tho, are you seeing the macro global abusive relationship between governments, media, corporations, institutions etc and society in general? The secular macro gaslighting/devaluing stage was initiated few years ago when funky bat farted out funky flu in the mainland Ch!n4. Its straight in my and everyones faces. I see it. But most youtube educators on narcissism do not. And it boggles my mind how can they not see it. Its forced in their faces everyday for last 2,5 years, heh. Peace.
You are right on about what you say. I can definitely see it !
I’ve seen it work within my own family… Covert and Grandiose… the 2nd tier uses the grandiose to hide behind…. They’re both conjoined in the shared fantasy, they don’t even WANT intimacy… so yes, it can work…
You videos on narcissists are excellent. I feel like this is info that everyone should know as early in life as it can be learned.
Just a suggestion but could you do a video on the family dynamic of a narcissistic family, or one on sibling narcissists? I have a malignant N dad but I also think my younger sister is a covert narcissist who is close in age, and the damage she has done to my life with smear campaigns and taking over my friends when I was hospitalised for years is devastating. These people are so evil I don’t have words for it
I’ve been trying to understand my father and stepmothers relationship. My father is your classic covert N with alcoholism. His new wife also displays covert N traits (pessimistic, child like, jealous, silent treatment, love bomb devalue cycle towards me - the stepdaughter). My biological mother is the complete opposite, codependent overly accommodating, martyr. It was crazy to see how my father changed from being a rageful dictator to a submissive anxious little man when he married the step M.
Have you ever heard/seen this dynamic Lisa? Of narcissistic style changing when faced with another N? (P.S they’ve been ‘happily’ married now for 18 years in the most codependent relationship I’ve ever witnessed).
Same! I’m trying to figure it out too! This relationship sounds like my dad and wife only they been married for 30 yrs my dad always drank and she seems like she has it together and the things you describe she does and she’s in the shadow but I have never seen them fight any kids up to each and bullying gang up on me . I’m going no contact and they can’t stand it cause they want control over my 10 yr old have been big in her life schedule visits. I still can’t let them hang out cause my dad talk ish to my kid!
Love your videos,it's amazing how you describe it...would love to see more on BPD
Thank you for what you're doing
It’s incredible, all of this information. It’s exactly how it goes. And you explain it all so eloquently. Thank you for doing these videos.
I believe you said the grandiose narcissist does a lot of cheating in relationships. Is it the same with covert narcissists as well?
I think since they are very much alike, they will stay together for years. I know a couple that are narcs been married over 35 years.
Happiness equals success ❤
My covert narc wife cheated on me with her ex. I soon found out he has a violent psychopathic history with women and is a grandiose narc. Im the empath that is still being heavily abused in divorce, and I have a lot fear about my children in the environment that they are now thrown into in that potentially very toxic household. I don’t know what to do?????
Keep your children away from those monsters. They will harm the children and turn them against you.
The marriage of a couple who used to be my friends in a nutshell! 2 covert narcissists in a lonely and dysfunctional relationship!
Lise your content is amazing! I just broke up a 7-years long relationship with someone who I just realized was a narcissist. I went no contact yesterday after watching some of your content. Everything is so relatable! However, from looking at this channel further, I was able to identify myself as very likely having BPD. I don't want to look back and get back together, however I would be really interested in learning theory of the relationship between NPD and BPD. Do you know the theory behind such relationships and can you share? Would really appreciate.
I use the block button often
ohhh, Lise! I want a tattoo with your portrait.Thank you SO much!
My ex and his wife are a nightmare together. I've been their target for 9 years. I think it keeps them together with someone to abuse together.
This is SOOOOOO helpful! Thank you!
You gave me closure and understanding.
Not only now I understand my ex, but now I understand her old relationship dynamics.
It all makes sense now, thank you!
Re: The scenario of 2 camoflagued narcs each believing the other to be prey and seeking to extract empathy from one other but being perpetually frustrated to the point of torture because neither of them has any.
God forgive me but there is something sooooo intensely satisfying about this image.
It’s like both slapstick comedy and divine justice in a single beautiful image.
Dante’s hell for narcissists. :)
This will make me laugh for years.
I think people should start to understand that Narcissism is also a product of intense Trauma. Hell is the only plane a Narcissist exists in.
If you gain satisfaction from someone else‘s suffering, you yourself must be quite spiteful and narcissistic.
@@AlexRyan YOu sound completely insane. Fanatic. Not informed on the clinical information about narcissism and cluster B. You yourself seem to be extremely devoid of empathy.
@@funemployed468 Narcissists are evil. When we show compassion for the suffering of the narcissist, they prey upon us. We’ve learned our lesson.
Hating evil is righteous. Defending the innocent from evil is righteous. Weakness is not.
At a certain stage, the victimhood game loses its effectiveness and all of society becomes immune to it.
At a certain stage, the judgments of the victimhood Olympians lose their effectiveness.
At a certain stage, the narcissists become powerless to manipulate us.
At a certain stage, all of society is awakened and sees them for what they actually are.
I imagine that tipping point must be very terrifying for the narcissist.
Good. Be terrified. Your fear gives us pleasure. Your opinion of us means nothing to us.
Understand this clearly: If you break the moral code, you forfeit your right to be treated as human. You are now just a dangerous animal threatening the innocent. You will be treated as such. No more compassion. We will protect the innocent from you. We will restore the moral order. We will cleanse our world of this disease. Nothing can stop what is coming. No negotiations. Bend the knee to Almighty God or perish.
@@AlexRyan you are a danger to society. 🤦🏻♂️
@@funemployed468 Let’s be brutally honest.
Women’s affection for narcissistic men is not purely “compassionate”.
Similarly, their aversion to men who wish to eradicate them is not entirely altruistic.
Women have an intense sexual attraction for narcissitic men.
They secretly LOVE the fact that his predatory nature enables him to attain more wealth, power and status than other men.
They secretly LOVE the fact that other women desire him.
They secretly LOVE the fact that other men do his bidding.
They are just frustrated that they cannot tame him.
They are just frustrated that they can’t force the narcissist to be non-predatory with them and his children.
Women who fail to restrain their passions and make babies with narcissistic men should understand clearly: If those babies turn out to be narcissists, their little angels will prey upon innocents and bring more suffering into this world.
If you are moral, you will feel guilt for bringing more evil into this world.
If you are moral, you will know that you are responsible for the suffering of the prey of your offspring.
Deep down you know that you should not have done that.
Deep down you know that you defied God by doing so.
Deep down you know that you contributed to the moral decline and collapse of society by doing so.
It’s called “the GodESS of chaos” for a reason.
Danerys Targarian destroyed King’s Landing on her dragon for a reason.
The symbolism of enduring narratives is meaningful.
It is difficult for women to break their addiction to demons.
Doubly so when their children are demons.
You can label the men who will rid society of narcissism as evil
but, deep down, you know this is a LIE.
My father is grandiose and mother is vulnerable narcissist. The problem is I their only child is the supply they enable each other and torment me. Now that I have finally just moved out of their grasp.. how do I make sure they feed off of each other and finally leave me alone?? I'm going insane!!
Any suggestions??
No contact. Don’t look back !!! Turn into a ghost.
@@Areyousurrraboutthat hmm. I'll try low contact first and see how it goes. I'm from an asian country so here parents are given way too much weightage. But if low contact doesn't work I am prepared for No contact.
@@erzascarlet47 best of luck sweetheart 💕 it’s not easy but u will find a way
@@Areyousurrraboutthat thankyou so much :). At a very dark place right now but won't give up.
My narcisstic ' mother ' and narcisstic ex , are ' best friends' now. I wonder what will happen in time.
My BF and I are narcissistic, it seems like we hate eachother but we don't, we see the flaws first in everything, including eachother, constant criticism by nature on both sides but we want eachother to work on fixing eachothers flaws in a constructive way. We both blame eachother for the simplest of problems but in the same breath idolise eachother. 7 years together so far, the only competition between us is who can give eachother more money/gifts. The resentment and blame is a real issue but neither of us back down from eachother in argument, harsh realities laid on the table, We make eachother laugh as much as we tare eachother down but it's all constructive. Both fed up of starting again with people who can't handle our shit, so building our "empire" together, besides working we spend ALL of our time together putting the world to rights tooo lol
You aint shit!
Can you do a video about a relationship comprising two persons with BPD, as well?
I dated a malignant BPD 30 years ago. She could be nice, but omg. I think 2 malignant borderlines would relate like 2 tree stump removers competing for the same stump.
Hating borderlines is out of vogue now, thank God. With all the notoriety concerning various NPDs, people forget the incredible intensity of BPD.
Thank you so much Lise!! I can't thank you enough our videos are so helpful! I have a question. What is the best for the children who have both parents are narcissits? Should parents stay together or divorce? In this case how can protect child?
Thank you for your question... this is a very complex and multi-faceted situation which does not have an easy or simple answer as it depends on so many variables. Have you considered talking to a therapist about your specific circumstances? I would suggest someone with expertise in NPD. If you need help finding a therapist in your area, please feel free to email me at info@liseleblanc.ca
My brother inlaw is grandiose, and his wife is covert. They are extremely manipulative and adusive towards each other. They will do anything for money...theyre over 700k in debt to keep up their image...my inlaws enable them by signing onto their debts. They need to buy something extravagant whenever their egos are hurt.
Hi Lise , can you create a video on the dynamic in a relationship with a BPD woman when you have a baby with her ? Like what to expect or what things tend to happen . Thanks
Lise leblanch, would you cover a malignant narcissist dating a covert narcissist? Thanks
I wish I had seen this sooner! My soon to be ex-wife is a covert narcissist and cheated on me with her boss who is a grandiose narcissist. Never did she consider the impact of what she’s doing not only to me but our 2 daughters (2year old and 10 months). After everything started to crumble, she kept saying how drawn she is to him and how he felt like a drug every time they would be “intimate” to whatever that means in their world.
Anybody else in this group have this experience?
Looks like they’ll be pursuing a life together while I’m here labeled as a single dad with 2 daughters.
Omg-women sure have changed. I’m a woman and I cannot believe how utterly grotesque women have become.
I hope your baby girls bring you a lot of joy.
"Its like if 2 parasites are in competition." 😂
Grandiose narcissist couple Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie??
I thought grandiosity was simply a personality trait common to all narcissist types, not a seperate and distinct category? Two covert narcissists could thus both be grandiose. What am i missing?
You’re correct. All narcs fluctuate from grandiose and vulnerable states however one can lean more towards one or the other
ahhhh, dang.
I am a grandiose narcissist and stayed with a covert narcissist for 4 years. Miserable person. I only ever stayed for the money.
When you say miserable person, im guessing you mean you and the covert right? I mean your not suggesting that because your grandiose/malignant that you are happy? Lol you people are truly incapable of seeing your own b.s.
When you say miserable person, im guessing you mean you and the covert right? I mean your not suggesting that because your grandiose/malignant that you are happy? Lol you people are truly incapable of seeing your own b.s.
What's the difference between a borderline and a covert N in this interaction?
Grandiose narcissist Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie??
I love ur works so much and it helped me a lot through my life, but with due respect I have to disagree with u about the covert and grand narcissist couples, covert narcissist are very similar to borderline and the knew the lines and words that destroys the regular narcissist, and I'm talking about a personal experience
My husband (divorce almost final and separated for 4 years) and his narc girlfriend have been together since before we separated. They break up every month since being together and she's a more toxic narc than him. She kicks him out and he always want to work things out with me. I ignore his message while going forward with the divorce. Ot make me chuckle because she is much worse than him 😂😂
My ex covert narc was forced together with his overt mistress after I found out about their 4 year affair.... he told me that he didnt love or want to be with her... 3 months later he moved her in to our house!! 😂 ooh and with her 2 kids both under 10!! Our kids had pretty much flown the nest!!
On the outside their life will be "fabulous "... internally it will be a living hell.
Tick, tick, tick... a living time bomb 💣
Id rather deal with a 4 with warm characteristics than a 9 or a ten narcissist
I just don't see it being possible two narcissist in a relationship. Their is no way in hell it would last a week. That's too much narcissistic injury possibly going on every interaction and their is no empathy from either side at all. Two people can't have any empathy for each and at the same time want to be the center of attention at the same time. If you've actually dealt with a narcissist and know the psychology about them they don't target victims that are bad people at all. They target vulnerable people. It's calculated too.
Are avoidant personality disorder narcissist???
No. Avoidant PD is a cluster C disorder
“Both of them desperately want to be in the victim spotlight” 😂 heard and depp
That was a court trial. “Victim spotlighting “ is incentivized.
@@Nalot56 you’re right!
The 6:00 mark is exactly how my last relationship went
Yup to a fuckin tee
Lol yeah successful 🤣
a Real Life Couple example of this is Donald Trump and Melania Trump 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣