Low Hanging Fruit: Are you a "No" Maintenance Woman?
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- čas přidán 25. 04. 2020
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Hmm, men say I'm expensive. I say, if u cant afford to date, dont do it.
TRUE
Could’ve been said better, If you cant afford the date then dont even ask the lady!!
A man shouldn’t have time to date if he needs to level up. Little boys have time to spare, men are busy building.
@Paul wow....never ceases to amaze all the dusties coming out of the woodwork to try to bring our self esteem down to your level. Yawn.
Yassss
That's why I cannot stand when women let a man tell them to not wear makeup... No one says to walk around like a drag queen, but makeup IS A GOOD PIECE OF FEMININITY! Believe that the same man that is telling you not to put on makeup, is looking at the next woman who has some on...
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Being low maintenance will never benefit you in the end. It's honestly not worth it 🙅
Men will break their neck looking at high maintainance women and will compliment them. I've seen pickmes get angry when their dusties compliment attractive women
I was told by an Ex to “get a white man”. He said my expectations were too high, lol.
Hypergamy 101 he insulted himself and all the men of his race with that comment.
Same here been told you not gone find a black man like that
I’ve herd that multiple times from black woman . That with the life style I want to live, I should just get a white male
ilovepeaches400 Yes I’ve had black women say those things to me as well. I don’t care what color he comes in lol, he must provide and protect, pursue, profess... I could keep going but I know you know what I mean😉
Rae Sadly that was probably his most valuable piece lol
And nowadays u hear alot of men saying am looking for a strong and independent woman who can provide for herself and pay her own bills,but if u really look underneath tht comment,what they are really saying is am looking to date a woman who can also be the man in a relationship,bcz am too lazy n selfish to provide for her. I want her to spend her own money, while she gives me the benefits of a relationship, without me providing as a man should..
nothing to addd to thissss.... welll said
This is it✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
The intention behind the man dating the woman is more important. There are rich old men who are comfortable with very beautiful gold digger women, people may blame those gold diggers but forget to see that her man is not fool to not know this, he is comfortable with her behavior. That does not give right to the guys to behave in same way with independent rich women who are not comfortable with male gold diggers. There is the dishonesty.
@@Satarupa902 women is not older who marties young man.
The “strong black woman” curse has had us by the neck for so long. Our mothers and grandmothers did NOT teach us to be receivers. So glad we are learning now. Your channel is a gift! When u know better u do better. Period!
Fairy Dust22 Yes it is! I didn’t learn to receive but instead to SERVE OTHERS
@@kynroebri4347 same here... I was raised to be a people pleaser. So sad... I am reprogramming my mindset so I can be o.k.to receive even this late in my life at 54 years old.
💯💯🎯🎯
Many women just don’t know because of the examples of their family dynamic growing up. Not only Low self worth is the reason. This is a generation curse that needs to be broken.
Thanks for your channel!
Asia Henry I can relate 😒
Exactly !
Dusties : You're expensive & way too high minded for my liking
Me: that's the general plan, to be ALL THAT & more. So thank you for the compliment. You're however the minimum & too dusty for my liking, so boy bye because HIGH VALUE men won't complain. Peace ✌
Philldella Yve 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
@@lousunny5682 i have no mercy for these dusties & savage them every damn chance i get 😂😂
I was a low maintenance woman all my life because I was shy and had low self-steam. I’m trying to overcome that, because I’m tired of having nothing.
Having NO father in your life makes you prone to be “low hanging fruit “ so be aware of that and resist! Being young/naive or being depressed also makes you vulnerable as well....
I have a friend who is a low maintenance women. She always makes me feel bad for dressing nice or feminine. She likes to boost about how she isn’t like other girls because she’s masculine and doesn’t like makeup or dresses casual. She’s getting married to a straight up dusty. She pays for everything. I’ll have the last laugh in the end
Cool but Y'all don't sound like y'all are friends to me
Being low maintenance starts with the women in your family. And after you are going to find friends who believe in the same narrative. Believe me if you are a low maintenance women today do this.
1 start to say no.
2 take a long bath 🛀 with candles 🕯 and a nice calming music 🎶, if you have wine 🍷 bring a glass with you in, so you can enjoy.
3 dress 👗, smell good and take a book 📖 with a healthy snack enjoy.
4 don’t talk much, don’t get into arguments or gossips, everything you do today has to make your energy high.
5 let whomever in the house do the cooking 🥘, you wait until they call out ,” the food is ready” and you smile and say 🙏 in a kind feminine voice.
6 After eating go take a much needed nap 😴
7 when you wake up, go for a walk if you can
8 take a shower and bake a cake or re arrange the flowers 💐 or do something that is very feminine, if he had his clothes taking over the whole closet, now it is time to put in there all your very nice dresses that you never had time to put on , display them.
9 start a very intelligent conversation lol, something that you know so much about it, in a calm voice with your wine next to you, don’t make lots of movements with your hands or face.
10 Go to bed 🛌 in a very amazing pajamas, but before change your bed to something silk if you have one , or something you 💕.
Pay attention how the wolves 🐺 are going to try to attack you lol 😂.
I remember before my current relationship a guy tried to take me on a first date to IHOP. 🤣🤣🤣🙄 I said oh no. I don’t eat there with my own money. Boy bye! I knew off the bat that was going to be struggle love. No thanks. If he doesn’t try to impress you in the beginning, take it as a sign of things to come.
This reminds me of a type of women who puts everyone and everything before herself..... 🥺😩
Yes and then cry about it later smdh..
Omg u are describing me 🤦🏾♀️
I've been in a slump for the last couple of years and it has taken the biggest toll on my confidence and health.
I hated it there so I'm on the way to putting myself before anyone else now.
I got rid of my toxic boyfriend a year ago and have felt more free.
I got a couple of expensive statement pieces that reminds me of the old fly af me it felt good.
This is the unraveling of years of pent up feelings of I'm not good enough for anyone or thing.
I'm grateful for the experience because it showed me what not to put up with.
All the red flags to pay attention to in any relationship.
@Elizabeth Noir I've always known men to be the head of the household and the provider in Christianity.
Me 😭
I turned into that woman once I became a mom but this year I'm prioritizing me
I actually have a friend who tried to guilt me for being high maintenance. This friend of mine is 34 years old (I'm 31) and she is dating someone who just turned 20 years old, that's right he's 20 and yes, she is everything you described in this video. I'm currently talking to someone who's older than me and he has absolutely no problem with my lifestyle and how I want to be kept. My friend wants me to date her boyfriend's stepbrother who is 19. I explained to her that there are certain things that I want for my life that a 19 year old cannot do for me and she called me high maintenance. My response to her was simply...so? Ladies, don't let anyone guilt you for having the life that YOU want. If it's right for you, that's all that matters.
What's the status of your relationship now?
Girl,you are doing the right thing . Don't date no teenager.
I always get called boujee , prissy and high maintenance but honestly that just means I’m not for you sir keep it moving . 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ no way I’m taking care of a man or stressing myself to do so . Had a guy tell me I was a terrible person cause I wouldn’t date him because his finances weren’t together and he made like 3-4 times less than me ....no sir
Tranae Alexander / the boujee In me honors the Boujee In you
The boujee In me, honors the boujee in you
I personally find those terms "boujee, prissy, high maintenance" compliments! They are able to acknowledge high value that they cannot afford. After that, it's your self-respected move to say "Take care!" and leave with class.
shireen saroea 😌😌😌
When I was married things was ok. But once he stopped investing I left.
As well as you should. Deuces ✌🏽
Kim Murrell 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 now that takes guts! Congrats🤗
I stan 😘🏆
But you promised to be married for life thru rich or poor. Next time don't get married just be bf/gf
I saw this ”No Maintenance ” woman post these words on her page : ”Low maintenance chicks are having their moment right now. We don’t have nails to fill and paint, roots to dye, eyelashes to re-mink and are thrilled to not get dressed every day. I have been training for this moment ALL my life.” SAD AF😩 Her Man has a bunch of well-manicured, lace front laid, hourglass shaped girls that he's following online tho!🤦🏽♀️
😳 Wow! That is extremely sad! Smh I'm so disgusted by that and my spirit is seriously disturbed just reading it.
Shauna F Yes! Completely disturbing, and 32.1k women and Dusties liked the Post! They even said ” Do NOT call us ”Plain Jane” call us ” Straight Up Jane!”🤯 We would feel my mom's wrath if she knew we even THOUGHT about running to the corner store real quick with scarves on our heads!!! SMH🤦🏽♀️
@@ayannaguiton 😧😨🤢🤮
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT💯💯👏👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌 TRUE FACTS
@@maguiedossantos2925 🙋🏽♀️🙌🏽❤️❤️❤️
My ex used to say that I behaved as if I wanted him to kiss my ass and that attitude would not get me far with him or any man. He wanted me to humble myself so that I was more "unapproachable" and "realistic" and not put myself on a pedestal. I had low self esteem at that time, so I complied. I didn't realize until years later that he was not on my level and that's why he reacted that way toward me, and I was well within my right to be as feminine and high value as I deserved.
I’ve decided to level up and I’m still working on it. My daughter’s father told me I think I’m better than him. No I’m better than who I used to be and that intimidates you. That’s when I realized I was doing something right 😊
K. Chavis 🙌🏾 keep shining gorgeous and let him wallow in misery.
Fineapple Felicity thank you ♥️♥️
yup
I’ve been shamed for being high maintenance since secondary school (high school). I live in the UK and common terms were words and phrases like “stoosh” “think you’re nice” etc. This came from boys and girls when I was in school. I was very quiet by the time college came around but everyone knew me as the girl whose hair and nails was always done and the girl who liked shopping and going to the beauty salon for treatments in between classes. I like to be pampered as my stress manifests itself physically so I have to stay on top of my upkeep. In adulthood I continued to get shamed by men as well as family members but I know what they’re doing, they’re trying to shame me into accepting less for myself and I won’t. I’m just not that kind of woman and never have been a woman to not take care of myself
It’s a lot of married women that r 50/50 or 50/70 . I have lot family members that r proud to be married to these kind of men
Eewwww 😒
Why is it ALWAYS some creepy dude lurking and stalking on WOMEN'S platforms?????
@@lauritapolk9400 I know right🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️? And have the nerve to make comments.
@@SummerTyme2023 yes, and they treat you like you are on trial when they are really trying to get you to shake and question your confidence. They seek solace in bullying women. It NEVER works they get chewed up in the comment section. 😂 😎
My dad is literally my best friend, but throughout my level up journey (I'm 22, started really leveling upJuly 2019), I am realizing that my dad is a DUSTY and my mom is a pickmeshia (they are divorced)... Thank God I have this knowledge + will be entering into Graduate school in 2 weeks, breaking these generation curses!!
Yes this is so true. The last narcissist I encountered asked me to work to ‘build our savings’ and I agreed to his face, but plotted my escape behind his back. I didn’t have this knowledge yet but... it just didn’t sit right with me so I left. I’m glad I wasn’t overreacting. My intuition saved me.
Coco Chardai ok it must b something in the name coco. I just did the same thing with my ex. Plotted my escape omg 😱
😆😆😆😆. Dang, I did the same thing. Put on a smile and told him he was right. I waited till he went out with his friends changed my number and hauled a**😂😂😂.
I come to the conclusion at 45 that I did a lot wrong in my relationship and marriage that now has long-lasting effects. Red flags looking back on this. Spending 10 years with a man that I had to use the phrase "When are we going to get married"? At the time still, living at home in a bad situation for years and having him look and say " Well what are you going to do"? Being the lead in getting an apartment and the list goes on. Married my husband and now I see my current situation. We are 50/50 and still 50/50 after I had to leave my career. I am on SSI and still pay half the rent. Still renting the same broken-down townhome and now chasing mice and dumping buckets from leaks under the sink. He is absolutely cool with our situation. It's a miserable existence. We will never own our own home, just got a car from his sister for the family. These are just a few things to show you to do better and do better early. If you are too accommodating you will get the bare minimum.
I’ve mostly dated providers, however it seems like because they pay for everything they felt they could slack in other areas sometimes.
damn complain about every damn thing
Faybo I have cardinal requirements if they don’t hit all four, it’s game over!.. I’ll be discussing that on my channel.
I love this channel it inspires me.
Gurl I can relate to this on so many levels. I have only dated foreign men They'd provide but sex wasn't fulfilling, there was an emotional disconnection, they'd say things to belittle me or wanted me to not be vocal because I would come off as "aggressive" one guy told me I had a "big mouth" because my intellectual intelligence intimidated him when we debated, no support in activities I enjoyed, it was always a one sided relationships but the bills were paid, they had five bedroom houses and drove nice cars. I never needed for anything but I always felt alone, misunderstood and stagnate as if I was living to the rhythm of their beat. I never asked for anything because it was always provided aslong as I continued to be pretty and quiet 😂😂😂
@@ravenburneskushner1825 get your own
👉🏽👉🏽 @@jjblack4905 dusty alert ❗❗
I became a low maintenance woman by chosing a low maintenance man
I did not know better tben. I thought he was better than nothing. I use to pay his bills and buy him food. I became very agressive. I certainly was not feminine. Some men will live off women. Set your standards high ladies.
I was with a very reluctant provider, who liked to remind me that he pays the rent constantly. He would also try to make me jealous of what other men would do for their wives. I’m now working on my self-esteem to make sure I’m never in a financially abusive relationship ever again.
Yes I did lowball myself for a broke man. But he wasn’t the type who was talking about having a “ride or die” or having me pay for his needs, no. He was audibly ashamed of not being able to provide for me and started to show his insecure in increasing amounts. It got to be so bad that he ended up acting out and I was quick to put an end to it.
In the end, he agreed that he was not ready for a woman like me. I picked up myself with dignity and walked away. Sure I took a moment to grieve because I did care for him. But I know now that I am meant for more. The woman that I am needs certain things that he could never provide.
Lets all take some notes! 👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼👑 low/no maintenance women are all the Bitter Betties who bully other women of being “gold digger” while they never got even a flower from a man and think that is ok! lets all wake up and set healthy standards for men to RESPECT us!
That's me, I am just now getting over it. I was with someone for years who would say not to lust after vanity whenever I wanted to do anything for myself. He never wanted me to relax my hair, or even get new clothes l, always telling me how he loved my "natural beauty". I didn't realize that he was just trying to keep me down because he was broke and has no ambition and just didn't want me to catch the interest of other men.
Smh that's straight up evil! He had no ambitious, sitting in his filth and wanted you to be at the bottom of the barrel with him. I hope you get out and level up. You deserve much much more!
Yup. Been there
I also know women who look good but are low hanging fruit it’s all smoking mirrors, it has to start from within first and rest will follow
👌
So many women think if I just keep holding him down and being low maintenance he’ll reward me later down the line when he’s doing better because I proved my loyalty.
Simply FACTS! This is the information I WISH I'd been given as a young girl growing up. I'm a Beautiful, intelligent 57 y/o women whose entire life has been pretty much ruined by no maintenance men, since I placed myself in a position of low-hanging fruit. After the loss of my father, I became desperate to find and keep a man, with countless negative results. Thanks for the WAKE UP alarm. Its not too late to raise my standards and self esteem. I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL, CHLOE.
honeygold1 You are not alone. I accepted the role of low hanging fruit NOT even realizing it. My 20 year old daughter had to make me aware of “hypergamy”. Be encouraged
MAIN- tenance.... key word MAIN! Ladies make yourself the MAIN priority! If you recognize yourself as the “No” Maintenance Woman, take action! It’s never too late!
I’m Married and if I even feel like I’m getting lax I reign myself right back in to ME!
I can honestly say I have suppressed my desire for maintenance in the past so as not to upset my partner or make him feel uncomfortable. I bought into the “Youre beautiful without this and without that” dusty talk. Simply because he was afraid those things would eventually become his burden or get me noticed by men who COULD afford it. I was young and dumb. Now I’m so extra specific about my needs. When a person comes into my space they know I like nice things and I like to shop and travel. My boyfriend is well aware of the fact that he needs to contribute to the maintenance that he gets to enjoy and he does. And I make GOOD money and he STILL does.
Tabatha you will do it. Just don’t wait too long like me. I wasted so much time and have many regrets. Decide now and take nothing less.
They are definitely in our places of worship Omgsh some Christian women think we are obliged to settle because he’s a “Man of God”. Well the Bible says a man is a PROVIDER and a protector.
God says a man who doesn’t provide is worse than an infidel.
I’m a No maintenance women. I have been for a very long time without even realising. My mum is a No maintenance women too. I remember she would always talk down on my aunt who always had her nails done even when she was just gardening. And unfortunately my dad was not a provider.
I’ve been in 2 long relationships where I was the one who had to pay for everything.
It’s a shame.
Everything in this video is so true.
I’m ready for the change. I need to get my standards up and work on myself. Yes working on my self will be the 1st step.
I’m so grateful society media ans this channel.
Social media has shown me that things can be different from what I grow up with. Doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for my family. I am. They tough me a lot. But it’s nice to have options and different views.
Thanks Chloe for this video.
My ex is a dusty con man zeta male non producer drug addict dead beat dad, womanizer. Lol I felt so unnatural.I would cry all the time. He would do stuff on purpose for me to see. It hurt me he didnt care up in my house. Then I dropped his dusty ash like a bad habit. Hes been trying to come back. No thank you. I can't wait to move and start a new chapter. Now hes with a low maintenance women. Low hanging frfr. Smh I learned my lesson for the last time. Working on my weight whew. Lol My skin hair nails feet teeth and clothing. I'm ok!! This is my journey to high maintenance. Ladies let go of what doesn't serve you. The future will be promising❣
@@ravenburneskushner1825 Thank you🌹 You're absolutely correct , I'm so proud of myself. He couldn't believe it. He kept saying are you serious? I told him never to knock on my door anymore. Lol. Your right 💯 my self esteem is the level up. 💋💋💄💋💋
Whew sound like me and my dusty ex 🙄 6 yrs and a child now. But now I see why he would belittle me when I will dress up lol it’s funny now thinking back. He still want to bother me now but got his ass on block. Clown belong to the streets
Sunday school with Chloe! Then, virtual Sunday morning worship with my fellow Christ followers! It’s going to be a resplendent day!
Cabby Newsome hope you have a blessed Sunday, love from the UK ❤️
The same to you! Blessings
We gotta remember most pickme's (myself included) were taught the way to being a good partner was to be self sacrificing... I don't think we should look down on non feminine women but help them like someone helped me.
So much truth in one video.
I need to catch my breath.
Yes!! Chloe's truth can cut deeper than a razor blade through warm butter!
Chloe_ will have us leaving quarantine with absolutely no edges at all.
Zawadi Birya 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A guy will usually read the 'calibre' of woman from the way that she carries herself, especially in her character and he will make the assumption as to how far in terms of 'cheapness' he can take her. Naturally a guy will provide he feels the woman is worth it. However, not any woman will do. Today, with such heightened feminism being taught, many women, take a lot less pride in their appearance, their education on current affairs, and, I daresay, homemaking skills, and think that to move forward they must appear successful by masculine standards. I asked a woman I recently met "Tell me, what book are you currently reading right now?" (simply to ascertain how she informs herself and her mind). Her answer "I don't really read" made me think, oh dear, how cultured and informed will my kids be if I had kids with her. I let that one pass......
So much truth.
@Joseph Allen GT's response confirms why men go cheap on attitudes like hers. Not worth our money!!!!
Wayne Murrell Good for you and thanks for sharing. Leveling up has more layers than an onion, and can be packaged in multiple ways. A truly leveled up woman reads and that puts her at an advantage over the woman who doesn't read because she feels it is of little to no value. I read books just to learn something new, which allows me to engage in better conversations over a broad range of topics among all types of people.
It is simple questions like the one Wayne asked that many QUALITY men use ladies to gauge the 'caliber' of a woman, if he can't assess based off her appearance alone because it is so on point the way you answer questions will tell it all. Trust and believe! No need for these men to play games because they are busy, but they will ask simple questions like what you read above. Just like feminine women have a vetting process, so do high value men ladies.
Now Wayne may I ask, what brings you to a CZcams channel geared towards hypergamous women?
So true Wayne, I am glad you passed on her. Listen hypergamous hive, a dusty man would not care if his kids are "cultured and informed", in my personal experience men who care about these things are usually stable in their personal life. Just because he did not put "if I marry her and have kids" does not mean he planned on skipping that step.
From personal experience, I have had men ask me do I read, if so what type of books. I have had men ask me do I have a favorite TV show etc. I don't know any millionaire's, but many of my colleagues make low six figures. One of them told me he was on a date with a beautiful lady and she said her favorite TV show was RHWOA and Love&Hip Hop and she didn't read. He said he won't be seeing her anymore. A man making a 6 figure salary is by no means rich, but he usually worked hard to get that salary and he can provide and he knows he needs to vet his women properly or that money can be lost easily with one wrong move. The answers to all these questions give glimpses of who we are, yet they are so simple and in no form obtrusive. Learn to peep game ladies, Wayne was vetting and she failed, don't be that lady on a date. I am glad he shared his story. I hope some women can learn from these stories, instead of quick to judge and/or attack based on what is left out.
@@RR-zy5qm"Calibre" is the old French derivative of the British word "caliber". It was correctly spelt and intended. Spend some time reading the dictionary before you exhibit yourself disgracefully.
I grew up believing that maintaining your looks were considered “ WORLDLY” the unfortunate attack of my mother 😣 I learned that hair nails exercise and even smelling good was looked at as! So who are you trying to be? Fortunately’ I’ve grown into myself in understanding how truly important it is to take care of yourself’ inside and out! Having a healthy attitude and love 💕 for yourself is crucial! I lost over 20 inches from my body without any hanging skin! I watch what I eat! Loads of veggies and fruits are consistent! As well as giving myself facials! Hand and nail ‘ foot care with awesome body and oral hygiene! Always makeup 💄 and looking my best ! Though my mom has learned the unfortunates from her own mother’ I don’t blame her! I’m just appreciative that I’ve leveled up from the low hanging fruit’ dust bunny queen 😤that I once was
Words cannot express on how much I love you Chloe....❤❤❤💙❤❤❤💙💙💙💙❤❤❤❤❤💙... I've been through so much envy, jealousy and bullying for my high maintenance mindset....I just turned 30 and men and women are very jealous and envious of me....I felt that I was doing something wrong..
.but No....I've always been right.....your womb is blessed and you are a blessed woman for blessing us with your knowledge and wisdom...
I Love you sis..
Thank You.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I feel like crying😥😥😥😥😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💙❤❤💙❤💙
I. love you too.
@Tabatha thank you Tabatha ❤💙❤
I was today's year old, when I learnt about maintenance mechanics. Thank you for your video.
This video came right on time, I'm leaving a dusty as we speak ! Had the nerve to make fun of me putting weave in my head, my makeup & fake nails 😂 then had the nerve to say if i wanted to stay in the relationship I need to pay the utilities bills 😄🤔🤔 ummm I'm out ✌️🚙💨 ladies never split bills in a "intimate" relationship. Especially when kids are involved
Better off with a roommate lol
I was born with the mindset of high maintenance. I couldn't see it any other way. But boy did I catch hell from everybody. My own mother. My own sisters. They would call me picky. Since they settled...they expected me to settle. I was rated by so called high value Male. They wanted to break me down. Somehow I made up my mind early to ignore the haters because I felt good being high Maintenance. Now that I'm much older....I decided to balance myself. It's a lot of work to remain high Maintenance. You really do not have time to waste. People use to accuse me of thinking I was too good to hang out. When all I was doing is showing my love for myself. And then patiently waiting for my king. My friends and family were always trying to rush me to settle down with any dusty that presented themselves. It became a lonely life. But...to make a long story short....this video just proved to me that I was right. I was always right. People need to stop wasting people time and just keep it moving. I'm not for you,!
Guilty long ago before I got a clue to the ins and outs of hypergamy and femininity. Now embracing it wholeheartedly! Thank you for your continued teachings Chloe_
Yeap I got hip to the script. This a painful reality. But we learned.......
I have never badmouthed women who were high maintenance. If anything, I felt inspired by them and admired them but never felt like I was worth the same. That is a personal issue I am definitely now working on 😏❤
I use to be “proud” of not wearing a lot of makeup but it was because I didn’t know how to lol, I use to go to the gym everyday, had a lil boyfriend that’ll take me out, etc.. once I left the army I went through a bad time with depression but I’m back up learning to me and especially my health FIRST,! I also think apart of being a high maintenance woman is knowing when to say no!
"Stop giving urself away for "FREE99" Pure. Fire. Chloe
Wm said I am too high maintenance just for wanting to go out on real dates
Brown Beauty85 right he’s way gone now then was upset Bc I didn’t wanna see him at all anymore
Nah. They know that's the right way to be. They try that trick with bw because they have no intentions of being serious. They have no problem taking their women on "dates". They just want us to come to their place for you know what. You can easily weed out the bad ones by paying attention to who is willing to to take you seriously consistently. One or two dates is not enough.
There are some zeta wm who try that because they see how our community treats us they think they dont have to put in any effort. Vet all males of any race and keep an eye out for the Cameron to your Lauren (if that's what you want).
But then when we “broke up” he sounded sad ....even though I wasn’t his gf
Brittany Davis I’m open
This is my mom. She has tried to shame me for my standards and has even encouraged me to give an abusive ex another chance. So sad how grinding yourself to dust (and attracting and keeping dust) is given more praise than taking care of yourself.
Great share, Chloe. Thanks❤︎
After getting heart broken a few times (stuck in the cycle) I became low maintenance. I am slowly but surely getting out of it.. sometimes that wiring or wound is imbedded deeper than we think, so have patience with yourselves ladies. ❤️✨
this is my fourth video i’ve watched this morning during my errands.... and wow. my eyes are opening
I created life. My husband can deal with providing. 😂
I didn't understand how valueable this information was until now. It will make or break you as a woman. On my mothers side it was mandatory to walk out looking your best. Head to toe, with cleanliness and neatness being top priority. Great grandma's down to children and newborns had to be CLEAN. Hair groomed, sexy but classy and nothing tacky or what's considered ratchet. And how you walked, talked, carried conversation and the words you use better be on point at all times! And our homes were always decorated with quality furniture and immaculately clean.
I didn't understand that ppl, men observe this and that plays a huge role on how you're treated in public by strangers and the men that approach you. Women like Chloe are breaking it down and educating me on the results and/ or consequences of how we treat ourselves. Another thing that worked in our favor (the women) that was passed down and not intentionally (innate) we were mean women (never to women!) And drop dead gorgeous too. We are not overly friendly to men and weren't easily impressed. You had to be special to get time and attention. We put ourselves first and our family second. Men were not placed on a pedestal!!, and we knew how to treat valueable men and give them the seduction and praise they needed to reaffirm their hard work. Man could you see the difference!! Difference compared to women who didn't live placing themselves, looks, body, mind FIRST! Like I said, this was normal life, nothing to brag about. But now learning this info from PRICELESS women like Chloe❤❤ it has deeper meaning. It's the difference between inner peace and relaxation vs. anger, resentment and putting yourself last. I truly thank the Lord above I was taught what I was and I pray the women who need it can give themselves the precious love that they so much deserve. We can't get love from others, we HAVE TO get it from ourselves. Us black women NEED and deserve so much self love and nurturing.
As a panamanian born Black woman Chloe- I agree with you 100%
White Panamanian here and I learned that all colors of the rainbow of men get on my nerves with their self-serving agendas.
Black Panamanian women here. 💯
I wasn’t told this when I was younger. I grew up in poverty my mom would only say find you a man that love you with a job. She didn’t say good job, to be provided for. As I got older I saw that my mom had a down trodden mindset and was giving me advice. She would always talk about how her sister was demanding of her husband and demanded that he pay all the bills and provide like her daddy. See their mom didn’t have to work she had different odd jobs to help out but he didn’t need her money. she was provided for so I don’t know why my mom didn’t get the hint. She always said how hard her dad worked and that their mom was so demanding and mean and she would never make her man do all that. I’m married and when I started realizing what I wanted and started setting boundaries with my family and my husband . My mother said that I was too demanding of him. I don’t feel like I’m asking for enough I’m still working on it. I didn’t get disrespectful with my mom but I learned that you don’t have to take everybody advice I can listen but I don’t have to take it. It took me a while to realize that I’m the prize. Whenever we have children my girls, nieces , will know the truth.
Thanks so much for this info. I'm 53 and lived this and mid maintenance lifestyle thru 2 marriages, even tho my dad was in my life as a great provider, protector and excellent role model preaching this same thing. Im a work in progress and have been doing alot of it since my divorce and am proud of my journey thus far. Growing up I had a sister who was high maintenance and she was critized my by other sisters...who were working in a 50/50 relationships. I started calling myself low maintenance too, thinking that was the way to go....and guess what, thats what I got...Peter pans. Struggling, building together, tired, frustrated, bitter and never satisfied. I wanted what my dad gave my mom. But mom didn't teach me and she passed when I was 22. I listened to my independent minded sisters and went down that path, which like I mentioned was a hard one. Daddy never approved of my men choices and I would get upset when talked bad about them...lol, imagine that. Im a new subscriber and binge watching 😁 I have shared ur videos and told my single 28 and 20 yr old daughters about ur channel. Continued abundance to you and yours. Again, thank you 🌹
Listening to all of Mrs Chole's extraordinary videos, I really thank God for the parents I have. My father has his own business and has protected and provided for me my whole life and my mom has always been extremely feminine. When you grow up you don't even think about it. You just see it as normal. But for a black person in America, having both parents with loving and balanced personalities, is an extraordinary blessing. I've been married 10 years to a loving provider and protector, am a stay at home mom, and my husband and children are wonderful and have bright futures ahead of them. And all the women out there upgrading yourselves with a positive spirit, you will be successful. Take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey of your lives : ) Hard work always pays off.
Thank you for this, it makes me proud to say I've always kept my standards high despite being criticized. I can't tell you how many women I've come across in the workplace that turn their noses up at me because of the way I carry myself, from the way I dress, speak etc. I have entered rooms with my head high feeling and looking beautiful and have heard women flat out say Who T.F does she think she is. I had a no maintenance guy once tell me, my standards were too high and every man I meet will treat me like shit because I think I'm all that. My youngest sister told me a couple of years ago to always walk proudly in being the woman that I am and if anyone is bothered, that's their problem. I teach and have young girls that I mentor, I often have conversations regarding topics like this, please keep positive content like this coming and Be Blessed
THANK 👏🏽YOU 👏🏽 I was in a relationship years ago with someone who wanted me to feel ashamed for wanting to be provided for. He simply was unable to it and unwilling to try.
Man oh man did I relate to this video! Chloe- thanks for making this video! For years I thought it was a strength and a bonus quality that I took care of myself, didn't need flowers or jewelry and took care of "manly" things like fixing things and moving heavy objects. Boy did my (now-ex) husband and an ex-boyfriend take advantage of that! They zeroed in on my need to please and be selfless and did very little to provide to the relationship or home. They both learned that just a tiny bit of guilt-shaming (i.e. "You're selfish for wanting help with the house..." or "...time with outside friends" or "we dont have money for new clothes for you" [while he was being fitted for new suits]). I used to think my ex's new wife was kind of a princess (she kind of is) but was shocked to see my ex doing All Kinds of Things for her that he never did for me (she's a nice person, but certainly not prettier or more-successful or...(fill in the blank). She just demands more from him, and gets it.
I've pointed this out to my daughter, in recognizing that there's value in demanding you be treated with respect and care and be taken care of (and to balance between being able to take care of yourself With asking for and being ok with receiving help, presents, protection etc.)
You teach people how to treat you.
This is a hard-learned lesson that I'm still learning, and appreciate people like Chloe helping us women to respect and value ourselves.
Thank you Chloe! 😊
You're welcome Jennifer.
I hope whomever needs to read this, they read this. Reminds me of a story I heard a pastor say when I was little, over 2-25 years ago, but stuck with me. He said, ~ if you stand on a table, and someone is standing on the ground, is it easier for you to pull them up, or is it easier for them to pull you down?’
In the same way, I pray this touches your heart, may God give us the grace and wisdom to see people for who they truly are, if they are pulling us down, or lifting us up. A man should be a leader, not a project.
We aren’t mother Teresa, and they’re not a sick orphan child. They’re GROWN MEN!
If they don’t act like it! RUN! THE OTHER WAY!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR ALL THAT STRESS!!!
Yes! People will try to make you feel bad for being high maintenance. I've fallen for this before in relationships and from other people in general. Thank god my mindset has changed! Thank you Chloe!
I had a guy “compliment” me before saying I was low maintenance and that’s why he liked me. I couldn’t put it into words, but it didn’t sit right with me. Now I know why and I’m never being THAT type of woman again
Leïla G yes. I never got that “compliment” again. Thank God.
I am trying to get out of a "relationship" that quickly turned south after I made the mistake of letting him live in my apartment! NEVER AGAIN!!!
I'm still trying to figure out how this even starts. Where was he living when you met him?
@@SolarTTauri he was living with his brother and his sister in law; but then again that may have been a lie as well
Chloe speaks truth! Especially about jealous mothers
Mz Omg YES
As a Christian woman I don't wear nails, weave or makeup and I have natural hair. This does NOT mean that I don't practice hypergamy. I still get my natural hair washed at the salon and get modest mani/pedis not to mention I like a modest designer bag and shoes here and there. I'm all for the 'stay at home wife with a small business' marriage model and won't be marrying into anything less. I do spend a lot of time ensuring that I am versed on current affairs, that I am well read, attend and participate in church, volunteer and have meaningful hobbies. I don't classify myself as a 'strong, independent black woman' and I'm not 'ride or die' and I calmly inform my male suitors of this fact. For those women who may not identify with weave or false nails and prefer little to no makeup for whatever reason, you still are deserving of a hypergamous lifestyle and will be kept by your man. Ensure that you act and look the part- clean and classy.
Aly Claire GIRLLL, u better slap on some makeup. You’re not better than anyone by stating what religion and denomination you are from. The practicing “hypergamy” thing doesn’t mean anything if you don’t look the part. You just look subpar. The dusty and low value men will come at you more, if you don’t make the distinction between you and the low maintenance woman. I think that you’re lying to yourself about the the truth and you know it too, Aly.
Joyce Meyer is a Christian preacher, Joel Osteen is a Christian preacher..... I could go on and on you know. These preachers are impeccable dressers. They understand the importance of packaging and presentation .
No all women have to wear make up. But religion has nothing to do with it. Im Christian as well and wear make up and dresses etc.
@@Ellenm6775 and the other Ladies. The above statement was neither intended to cast judgement on anyone that is/isn't Christian nor was it a personal attack on anyone's personal preference. I was simply stating my own preference and wanted to assure women who feel similarly that you should 'act and look the part' (However you are compelled to do so @Chloe_ gives some excellent tips to consider) and the hypergamous lifestyle will still be an option for you without compromising your Faith. This statement was meant to uplift those to whom it applies. It's interesting how quickly people are offended and are judgemental when you state that you are a Christian and you do things a certain way solely because of that fact, but that is an entirely different discussion. I didn't say I was perfect, I stated my preference. If the comment doesn't uplift you or if it offends you or if you don't agree, then the comment was not intended for you since I clearly stated that it was written in an effort to encourage my fellow sister. Please feel free to scroll past it.
@@chinneynz7861 I absolutely agree with you and I'm sure they do not feel that their attire compromises their Faith. Hence the part of my comment that states 'act and look the part' whatever that means to each woman. I also went a step further to include my personal preference that I do not wear fake hair, nails or makeup as they would compromise my Faith. All while hoping to encourage those who feel similarly.
I put my sister onto your channel even though u are the best kept secret, I had to share and lawd was she thank full! She owe me one!
I’m 68 and I have had the lessons that I learned from. I have and continuously grow into the highest high value woman. It didn’t come without bruises and such. I know too much about a man to be anything else. Even a hint of being less than high value, you can see their respect immediately go down 40%. And I’ve decided that no man is going to disrespect me and get away with it.
Been on both sides. My ex was a provider and the jealousy from other women was shameful. Being in the "struggle" of a broke man is revered. Not me says I...even if he does not have a shitload of money, a man can still treat a women high value by his actions and efforts. Never settling again! Setting my expectations much higher now! I have worked to hard to low ball myself any longer!
When I got with my man he made less than me… I didn’t make a big deal about maintenance because I know he couldn’t afford it. Fast forward 5 years, he makes 5xs as much as me now it’s damn near impossible to explain to him that I want maintenance. He got used to being no maintenance.
Since he has the money now,you don't need no explanation,just simply demand it and hold your ground .it's that simple.explanation to house of representatives or is it parliament.just the way you didn't demand it,use the same energy to demand it.
I did my natural hair today after letting it sit dry in my bonnet all day yesterday. God said uhuh and made me get up😂
I'm learning so much. I was raised to believe I would be undesirable and should take whoever would be interested. I was never trained how to take care of myself and declare my worth. I've been working hard my whole life, and never understood what magic the women had who were able to find a provider relationship. Even when I dated men who had a lot of money, they never wanted to take care of me, and I never understood why. This channel and all of the femininity content on youtube is opening my eyes so much. I'm married now to a wonderful man who I love very much, but we're definitely in a 50/50 situation, even though when we started dating we both wanted a more traditional arrangement. I'm hoping as I change myself I can change our relationship. Thank you for this incredible lesson. I'm really grateful.
This is me from the rooter to the tooter. I'm 65 and angry as can be because I put out so much and got nothing to show for it. Never married and never had children. The last man who took care of me was my Father. Now, I now don't expect it but I no longer want it. I've been on my own for to long. I am paranoid at the idea of these men following their money.
My mother in law is low hanging fruit .. she stay in pajamas n her hair looks messed up... she saw me getting ready and said wow 😳 I wish I had that power .. so I gave her a make over which lasted 2 hours because she put her pajamas back on and washed her face 🥺
Listening to this video I realized how many mistakes I have made and what I have been conditioned to from my upbringing. I chose to break the generational tendencies and seek better for myself. Thank you so much for this channel. I wish I had this knowledge 10 years ago but I know it’s not too late to turn my life around.
Growing up, my daddy always told me to never be low hanging fruit....I am glad that he did.
Thank you for this commentary. It needs to be said, learned & lived. I am white but watched most of the women on my mothers side do this. I never signed up for that plan and hope women learn from this message.
I felt that!!! You are talking about me. I'm a zero maintenance woman and has been taught by society to be proud of it. While in fact I should be embarrassed. How dare I treat myself with such low standards😰
0:50 Description: "He is triggered."
2:22 "Relationship disaster."
I can't deal. 😂😂 I just can't.
Why am I crying with laughter.
Damn I went from a lurker to a lady on your channel😩 Thank you Chloe ❤️
It´s amazing to see how must of our lives as black women have been similar no matter where we are from. I am an afrolatina and I´ve seen so much suffering in my family and strangers. My grandmother got a husband that cheated on her repeatedly and in the end, he left her alone with five children. She had to work and take care of all of them by herself. She never got the chance to rest or do something that she really wanted. My mom went ahead and did the exact same thing: she got a husband that earned significantly less than her and had me and my sister. He NEVER gave a penny for our clothes, house, food, car, education, ANYTHING. If you asked him to give you something, he would say you were using him as a bank. So, then he took us (my mother, my sister and I) out of my MOTHER´S house and she had to buy another house, pay for our education and everything else by herself and, even after all that, my dad still resent the three of us because we never ''look out for him''. My aunts, on the other hand, live afraid of men because of what they´ve seen and never leveled up. In conclusion, I never considered my mom, aunt, or grandmother as a good example AT ALL! I don't want my sister or me to have that kind of life and it´s reassuring to see that black women are finally awaking from the thought that we have to do everything by ourselves.
I never thought about this because right now I’m working on myself and build the independent woman first before thinking about a man doing his part. The struggle next to being high maintenance is CONSISTENCY!
"Socially engineered to have low expectations of men." Priceless.
I find this incredibly helpful even as a woman who is choosing to remain alone. I am currently a low maintenance woman, but aspire to maintained for myself and my health/well-being.
Hello everyone. Have a blessed day and take advantage of the sheltered-in-place.
Chloe please come up with a shirt that says “hey ladies and lurkers” 🤣🤣❤️. I’d buy several of them. Love your message!
Love always,
A feminine, married, high value, lady 😘
When u live in a proverty based environment low value men or dusty men are everywhere
Coming out of what WILL BE my last low maintenance relationship. I have always been the breadwinner and accepted less cuz that’s what I saw. It took my health and credit taking a dive for me to see how backwards I was. Now I’m just growing in my relationship with God and myself, dusties to the gd left
I remember a women posted about how her partner pays for her to get her nails done. A bunch of women insulted her and criticized her for it
Chole
This would describe me, although giving a man money is a no-no for me. But having him give to me and me thinking that's OK and just receiving is my issue. No matter how butt-hurt I might be...tell the truth, and I'm here for it. My pledge is to know the truth, no matter how much it may "hurt" me. Thank You!😘💕😊
This is great information. That toxic social engineering, particularly in the Black Community regarding women receiving: shame, guilt, apathy (50/50, in all of its forms) are such low vibrational emotions. These low vibration emotions destroy both femininity and masculinity, and have contributed to this played out "battle of the sexes," in which people are literally working against their own wiring. Keep up the great work chloe_!
@Tabatha say that Tabatha!
Listening!
As told by Jo Hey you!!
April Lynn Hey lady!
Yeah, I get annoyed by women (and men), who say: you have to lower your standards, otherwise you'll never find a man. I don't have abnormally high standards, i'm just lucky to be able to witness healthy relationships around me.. thank God for that. My best friend was low maintainance for a long time. One day, she decided that it was enough. She upgraded herself and her standards, and now she married the most kindhearted, loving, providing and masculine man. He is not at all a whimp. He also has high standards and values, and plays by them. Not a dusty, not a hypocrite, just a wholesome, strong, high value man.