Loving A Partner With Dementia - Louis Theroux: Extreme Love - Dementia - BBC
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- Louis Theroux witnesses the concept of unconditional love put to its most severe test.
Taken From Louis Theroux: Extreme Love - Dementia
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Gary’s wife is the epitome of love and grace.
My late husband had early onset Alzheimer’s diagnosed at age 52. We were together for 50 yrs when he passed at age 70, we married at 16 & 20. In his mind he was 24 and thought I was his aunt who helped raise him. One thing I learned was keep a sense of humor and just go with the reality of the day, hour, minute or second. I know my husband loved me but the disease took it all away. I always loved him and I kept the memories for both of us. Every medical visit to the VA he flirted outrageously with the young female staff and often asked them who that old woman (meaning me) was. In my mind I often thought damnit I’m 4 years younger than you old man, lol.
It's hard, my grandfather had a trauma because of the nazi's.
He was put in a non jewish work camp (arbeidsanlager).
When his dementia truly came through, he thought I was an SS member because of my niece's ticking shoes and I wore dark blue rubber boots 😔those moments are hardest of all 😢
He put 1 and 1 together so I had to be a SS member, my grandfather told me I was scaring him and shouldn't join that group... He was like a father to me, that broke my heart.
But remember this they are no longer the person you knew only a husk remains.
And sometimes they have a upliving moment and they are themselves again for 3 minutes and afterwards they don't know anything anymore.
Be happy for the good times and try and let those other moment come and forget about it,although sometimes it's okay to cry. ❤️
Losing some one to death is final (sometimes easier to deal with) , losing someone to dementia is like a death without dying.
If you're lucky they remember you, most of the times it's not like that.
Wow that would have been so rough :(
U handle it like a champ!
Was he a heavy drinker or diabetic? I'm trying to workout how he got alzhiemer's so early on.
@@tompenn6703 There are some reasons that they know why and others not so much.
God bless his wife abundantly
Your comment for some reason really touched me. Seriously, god bless his wife. Unconditional.
My Mom has dementia and I have shown that my brain is shrinking faster than normal, I’m scared. I will not allow my family to go through this again.
@@fiona9912 just make all the beautiful memories with them so they can always enjoy 🙏🙏
There's no god that would let his own created image suffer with such an insidiously destructive and malicious disease like dementia.
In a little more context, Carla met Gary at their work and Gary seems to have gone back to the time when they were good work friends, before love blossomed.
Interesting. Thank you for the info!
Wow! That hurts i don't know if i could handle that. That takes a special kind of person. But i know its the disease and not him. She is a loving wife/partner one of a kind. My best to her
This woman is so strong, selfless & loving. Extremely rare to find a soul so pure & humble. My heart aches for this woman. Your riches are stored in heaven, God is proud of you!!
You don't even know if she's saved or not.
No god would let such a hideous disease like dementia exist.
Stop with the Bible bashing
Pat is beautiful! Her style is everything
She puts on a brave face but you can tell wife is being eaten up inside.
i disagree, she seemed strong in that situation and I admire that
I don't think so. She seems to care about him like a friend, it's just explaining it to others that makes it awkward.
I'm sure she's dating other men and chose not to abondon her husband.
I work at an az/dementia home and because he sees the two women more than his wife, then he remembers them more. You see he said, nice doing business with you. I had a resident who would fight the wife when she came to see her husband, and eventually the wife come to peace with it with our help. It was difficult but it is not the person , it is the disease.
I feel like she’s moved on from loving him as her partner and now just cares for him as a friend so she’s not bothered by his ladies
How can you 'see'? I 'see' only what she says. The rest is paying psychologist's mortgage.
WOW! I am amazed at her level of what love is. Allowing them to live THEIR life, the precious days of it he has left, as he chooses. Giving him as much dignity as one in his position can have. Controlling his final days out of her own needs, would be acceptable and she could do that, but she doesn’t. She not only tolerates it but encourages him to have a happy life by taking her to lunch for him. This is something I’ll keep with me. This is loving someone.
How heartbreaking! :(
When I was working at nursing home, the people that had Alzheimer’s and dementia a certain percentage of them are very innocently sexual. This wife is very loving.
0:50 Perfect comedic shot
amazing. Louis' shows are some of the funniest things on TV and its not even supposed to be
Lol i didnt see her at all first
Meredith Lloyd nothing comedic about Alzheimer’s.
I'm glad someone else caught that! I'm like wtf! She was right behind her when she said that?? Hahaha
She is a wonderful wife! She is right that it's called "unconditional love".
She is an unbelievable person, and I do not say that often about many people!
What an incredible woman his wife is
Love is kind. It is not jealous at the end of the day whatever it takes to keep him happy and content in the facility is more important than her own feelings and I commend her for it.
Gary's wife is a just an amazing woman for realising its the disease that causes people to do things they wouidn't do if they didn't have the disease
That is profoundly heartbreaking :(
0:52 yo she just pointed out that that old lady was jealous then when that camera panned out that same old lady was standing behind her like randy Orton... slithering....I jumped
Hahahaha
Gary is drowning in that flange. Good game, man, "it's the disease". Nice one.
She's a very brave women.
Hahahaha gold
booboobrinn sometimes people have to be brave, even when they don’t want to be, brave..
*Our Mom Alzheimer's story:* *czcams.com/video/ABoP57zTFCg/video.html*
lol
My heart bleeds for his wife.
This made me cry so bad! Especially when they said goodbye!
I work in a dementia unit see this kind of thing every day
Yes me too.
What and you allow that to happen! That is not right or fair to their wife's or husbands! Their should be stricter rules put into place! Xx
@@lindabarker2175 it's impossible, they can't change someone with dementia, to them their situation is as real as the sun. Redirection in certain dangerous situations is all that works, though it's temporary
This made me cry
No it didn’t. Just another like baiting comment
Gary’s wife has accepted her life and shes a true helper at this stage
My police officer husband had this. He remained home until he collapsed and very ill. he spent 3 months in hospitals then passed away .I did not have to go through his being with women in hospital or not knowing me.
I don’t think she’s blessing his actions out of guilt, but out of love. I think it’s possible, but when you’re at the point you have to put somebody there, you have to know you don’t have a choice and can only do the best you can, and by visiting, taking him out, and more I’m sure she does do the best she can.
I guess because she is not one to lay guilt on others I tend to think she wouldn’t lay guilt on herself.
I do think she has had to grieve her husband emotionally as if he had died, that relationship died.
Also I think, if she wanted to, she could do a lot about his being aplayboy. First of all he’s the only man in the facility so...move him to a men’s place, she could put up all kinds of road blocks I’m sure.
My Pap had to be put in a home for Alzheimer’s and my Gram goes and visits daily. Someone told me she probably goes because she feels guilty. I just don’t understand how people come to that conclusion? Maybe she feels that it’s sad he needs to live there and has empathy and wants to do everything possible to help him because she loves him and misses him and cares so deeply about every aspect of his life because she’s been doing so for 60 years.
There’s no reason to feel guilty unless you put someone in a home for malicious or selfish reasons. It’s not selfish to not care for someone 24hrs a day either, especially at that age. So selfish is relative to each situation.
Other than that, we don’t live in a culture where the whole family lives in one big house or all on the same street and the young and strong all care for the elderly members, so this is just a product of our culture of single family homes, people leaving home and spreading out across the country, and modern medicine making a lot of people live a long time. Well not just but I think those things contribute to how we deal with the elderly here.
My mum's heart broke in 1996 when my nana died. Inconsolable but still strong. She had a lot to deal with let's just say...my relationship with her was killer... Literally. I love her so much. She has this b***ard disease. It kills every joy, thing. Much the same as manic depression... What I had 20 some odd years prior. Just laugh, love and be happy and humble. Honestly!!.
I take everything back I said about this lady....tough sledding, for sure....BLESS, them....
in sickness and in health... that lady is committed to her husband got to respect that
Yep.
Wow this lady is somthing else God bless her heart
She is a very loving, strong woman. She will be greatly rewarded in heaven. My father has dementia. It is very hard to see your loved one vanish. God bless her!
If she's saved she'll be rewarded, sure. But you don't know if she is or not.
Very interesting video , learn something new everyday
For anyone wanting to know the song they use a lot in this series, it’s Giant of Illinois by Andrew Bird
this is true love
patient, kind and forgiving
That is so heartbreaking!
That’s wild , that is one dedicated women god bless her.
Bless you Carla x
Good for you. My husband has dementia at 55. I think I would be the way and realize it’s just the illness.
What a wife! God bless her even if you understand is a disease that can't be easy,No way.
Nice to do business with you once you come to town
That is tough for you, hope life is treating you good now.
Happy Christmas
Unfortunately these episodes so far do not show what a care giver can do for her own mental health. Been taken care of husband for 4 years, not a day off once. Can not afford $40.00an hour for someone to come in to help. Burned out caregivers need help too.
This disease is sad and takes families away from each other ...what a smart wife ..yes its the disease
Stopped in to watch on June 5, 2021
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE❤
Hello Dear
How are you doing today?
What happens in Shady Pines, stays in Shady Pines!
Heartbreaking
What an amazing wife.
i took good of care of him as i can..and will do till the end" ...god love to be in a relationship that long when you get old with someone like that. thats almost unheard of
I swear that camera swerve at 0:50 had me dying 😭😭😭
Shes a good woman.
Goodness. I've just read many comments below and it's sad how the majority have NO idea what someone Dementia experiences and how it affects their loved ones. Saying Gary just doesn't like his wife and he's doing this to score? Really? You have no souls.
Exactly!!! Mostly men who comment like horney donkeys 😡
No souls and no clue. Sad!
@@jenniferrobinson1792 It's devastating to everyone involved. I'm so sorry.
@@jenniferrobinson1792 I’m so sorry. I hope you’re okay today.
0:44 dang Betty 😆
my man getting some action in the nursing home
we need to do another dental impression mrs stienberg
Hi Gary.....you remember me?? Nice one Louis.....
she has a big heart, and understands it. also he did a life long dentistery. so she is loaded
Keep in mind he is relatively young and those places are expensive
Wow what a wonderful woman 💯🙏❤️🥰 I couldn’t do that ! He’s in love with Pat 😳 Shame .......She’s one in a million Blessings always 💯🙏❤️🥰😘💕
Spiritual love
As a care giver who has worked with dementia residents, I have never seen a case where it gets this far. Usually the spouse with dementia, always remembers their spouses. it also depends on how well the marriage/relationship was. In my case, the marriages have always been good, that a patient refuses to go to bed until their significant other comes home from work(most of the time, that significant other has passed away 15+ years !) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😢😢😢😢
It depends on the brain,i think
Remember that he knew this woman as a close work friend before they fell in love. He hasn't forgotten about her, it's just his brain took him back to that time.
His wife is an angel
🙏💜🙏💜🙏💜stay strong together
Bless the wife.
Gary seem like a cool guy
nice doin business with ya
Wow. I'd fall apart!
Ooooo I fall apaaart down to my core ooooo
RIP Garry
Pat is a glamour nan.
can one tell me the name of the song from 0:03?
I feel so bad for her😔
My abuela has dementia and i can't imagine how it is for my grandpa
that's right.
Your God sent God bless you
Gary got a good one.
Betty scares the shit outta me Jesus christ
Wait are/were Karla and Gary married? I'm confused.
Are married.
@TheKimberlydw you can still be married with no functioning mind.
What a lovely wife he has
2:40 nurse : in business 😱
Ugh!! How very 😥 SAD!
That’s so so sad.
She sacrifices for his happiness true love.
Damn rip Betty
Basically Gary is a player
1:43 daaamn friendzoned
Incredible love , difficult situation, there but for fortune .............!!!
WOW!
We don’t need Wonder Woman or She-Hulk to represent our strength, unconditional love and selfless devotion as wives, mothers, “buddies” or sisters... We have the ultimate female superhero, Carla. She’s the best of us.
He’s so tall
I would have to say something to the nursing home, or I'd move him somewhere else! Its not right and its really upsetting for his wife to see her husband with another resident and her taking her clothes off in his room. The staff should keep them apart from each other. There should be stricter rules put into place!
Yes and no.
There aren't many facilities that have good staff to resident ratio. Staff can't be with every person at all times.
Second very few have the genders separate.
Poor lady. This would be too much for me.
Wow he said nice doung business with ya and he said when she comes into town. Wow so painful he forgot his wife
TEAM Happy Gary
There's a really interesting TED talk with Dr Neal Bernard linking meat consumption with Dementia. Please check it out!
“See ya kid, nice doin business with you” :(
well atleast if you're rich you can have dementia in a classy place.
Id like to know how and wat the wife does in her life that fulfills her. I'm looking for a roadmap!
It literally felt like watching a HORROR MOVIE WHEN SHE GOT POSSESSIVE AND JEALOUS WHEN HE HUGGED THE OTHER WOMAN ?! Tried to snitch and get em in trouble
In sickness and in health.
Alittle different ...
M
.
Pat must be beauty back in the days.