Husbands Try Accept Losing Partners to Dementia Too Soon

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  • čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
  • Dementia is a life-changing condition at any age, but what happens in a relationship when one partner is diagnosed at a young age - when most couples are enjoying a full and active life together.
    Mandy was only 42 when she received her diagnosis, and Clare just 60.
    In this episode their husbands share their stories of love, loss, and acceptance of losing a partner to dementia too soon.
    This video was made with funding from NZ On Air.
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Komentáře • 981

  • @astridbirgitteovern7662
    @astridbirgitteovern7662 Před 5 lety +673

    This reminds me of the story of a man whose wife was in a home. He visited her every day. One day a nurse came over and asked «Why do you visit her every day? She doesn’t know who you are anymore». He replied «I know who she is.»

    • @bernadettebailey5370
      @bernadettebailey5370 Před 5 lety +42

      Perfectly said! Profound!

    • @GigiRuizPrivateA3
      @GigiRuizPrivateA3 Před 5 lety +18

      ❤ just a love story ❤

    • @TheJeanette53
      @TheJeanette53 Před 5 lety +3

      Astrid Birgitte Overn True story ?

    • @armandofernandez8257
      @armandofernandez8257 Před 5 lety +12

      Exactly he knew.

    • @normalopez3476
      @normalopez3476 Před 5 lety +21

      So tragic!!!😢😢😢😢😢 However true love at its finest! Some people never find it. These couples did and their lives were richer for it.💏👍💖💕💓💔❤️💘💋💗💚💛💜💔💋💖💝💞💟❣️💞💔💖❤️💘💋💓💗💙💚💛💜💖💝💞💟💔💓💘💜💖💝💞💟💌❣️🕊️🕊️

  • @Austins126
    @Austins126 Před 6 lety +399

    Mandy and Clare have amazing husbands. It brought tears to my eyes to see the love they still give to their wives. Husbands of the year 👍

    • @alicedevens2896
      @alicedevens2896 Před 5 lety +9

      I agree

    • @daturad479
      @daturad479 Před 5 lety +7

      Definitely #relationship goals

    • @Susan-d2y
      @Susan-d2y Před 7 dny +1

      You don`t know what kind of husbands they were. It`s not like now they can go cruising for chicks now.

  • @pootdaggy2657
    @pootdaggy2657 Před 5 lety +172

    Peter and Mat are real men. Despite the circumstances they continue to be the support their poor wives need and are unable to realize. My kind of men.

  • @marthakeeling5966
    @marthakeeling5966 Před 6 lety +258

    He's doing the right thing. He still loves her and you can tell.

    • @samantharossiter5309
      @samantharossiter5309 Před 5 lety +10

      hes doing the right thing but of course guilt is a major factor, he has nothing to feel guilty about, dealing with someone 24/7 with any dementia needs trained people especially in the later stages where they have to be watched 24/7, it hits the wife/husband carer so hard the lonilness, the memories left behind, the deafening silence and its not just restricted to the elderly, its not a normal part of aging........

  • @karinabbott372
    @karinabbott372 Před 5 lety +94

    The husbands must never feel guilty, and no one must judge them.

  • @elisewalther6142
    @elisewalther6142 Před 5 lety +55

    I did the same for my husband who died 5 weeks ago. I don't regret one minute with him, just miss him terribly.

    • @user-vd5gj4nd9u
      @user-vd5gj4nd9u Před 4 měsíci +3

      ❤❤

    • @licksnkicks1166
      @licksnkicks1166 Před měsícem +1

      I am terribly sorry for your loss. ❤❤❤

    • @jangriffin-fi1yx
      @jangriffin-fi1yx Před 4 dny

      I'm glad I looked after my Husband & Mum would definitely do it all again at least we tried hard to live as normal a life as could. My only regret is that I couldn't do the same for my wonderful Dad who unfortunately passed in hospital. I loved them all with all my heart, miss them all so much. Loved being altogether very lucky as left with lots of wonderful happy loving memories ❤❤❤

  • @rachelwilliams3108
    @rachelwilliams3108 Před 5 lety +62

    My husband died slowly from cancer. I was his only caregiver. Family and friends immediately disappeared. Even after his death, no cards, no flowers, no phone calls. He was a Vietnam veteran. He was a good guy. He dropped everything to help anyone in need. Maybe if we had been rich then we would of had support and love. There is no good way to die.

    • @auntyharry
      @auntyharry Před 3 lety +11

      I know you wrote this comment quite a while ago, but I’m just so sorry this was your experience. Both you and your husband deserved much better from the people in your lives...,,more love, more support, just more.

    • @geraldineowens7001
      @geraldineowens7001 Před rokem

      That must have been horrendous for you ..obviously the so called friends were arseholes and don't deserve your thoughts or time x

    • @conniegnesda9720
      @conniegnesda9720 Před rokem +6

      I am so sorry Rachel. If I knew you as a friend I would of helped you, I truly mean it. I took care of my mom and dad but fortunately I had other siblings to help. My oldest sister now has dementia, her husband put her in a memory facility. A very nice place but not the same as being home. You will have no regrets Rachel, you did everything you could to show your love for him. God bless you dear.

    • @berniegueu8830
      @berniegueu8830 Před rokem +2

      @rachelwilliams3108 I just read your comments on this sad but of the reality in life's journey for these families. However I felt sad to know that for you, after your husband passed that everyone slowly faded in the shadows. As a result I would love to keep in touch and check in on you once in awhile. Stay strong and be thankful for each day 🙏🏼 💛

    • @SuzanneDeniseB
      @SuzanneDeniseB Před rokem +2

      💙💙💙

  • @michellehill1604
    @michellehill1604 Před 5 lety +239

    I work in Healthcare and it's good to see these people stick by their loved ones because alot dont and most dont have anyone. It's sad, God Bless them

    • @maplesden6768
      @maplesden6768 Před 5 lety +1

      michelle if you had been listening you would have heard why. there is an over powering guilt and shame of feeling like you have betraid your loved one some people do not know how to cope with it.

    • @michellehaynes1004
      @michellehaynes1004 Před 4 lety +5

      I totally agree I worked in high care aged care and most people I cared for never had anyone visit at all

    • @bee2one657
      @bee2one657 Před 3 lety

      It hn bvb and bbb bnb jcb n
      B
      Bbn

    • @carolinarivera7538
      @carolinarivera7538 Před 2 lety +3

      My aunt recently was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s n my 2 cousins are having a hard time. I feel so very bad for them. My aunt is my mother’s sister.

    • @SUPERSPAZD
      @SUPERSPAZD Před 2 lety

      @@carolinarivera7538 😞

  • @chrissyt_artist1960
    @chrissyt_artist1960 Před 3 lety +73

    I started watching this because I wanted to know more about dementia, and there was Mat! Clare passed away in 2020 - he still misses her and sings songs to her on anniversaries and such. A real gentleman, very thoughtful and kind.

    • @mircat28
      @mircat28 Před 3 měsíci

      Google dementia. What you see in videos doesn’t tell you enough and it doesn’t mean everybody will be the same. You can learn more from the Alzheimers Assn website.

    • @vanessamcdonald1071
      @vanessamcdonald1071 Před 20 dny

      Omg I absolutely love the way Mat loves her,What a great ma

    • @chrissyt_artist1960
      @chrissyt_artist1960 Před 20 dny

      @@vanessamcdonald1071 I know Mat personally through our local music clubs. He is a gentleman indeed and still misses her.

  • @patriciafoster3347
    @patriciafoster3347 Před 5 lety +258

    People planning on marriage should be required to watch this.

    • @mariaparker7545
      @mariaparker7545 Před 4 lety +19

      Why deprive someone of a lot of happy years? And a lot of happy memories? You could marry someone and they die in a car crash... nothing is guaranteed in this life... What remains are wonderful memories.

    • @debrajames6316
      @debrajames6316 Před 4 lety +8

      @@mariaparker7545 Why be a deceiver of life?. Patricia understands that marriage is a huge commitment. If a person sees this video and decides not to marry then they are not in love and will walk away from the big commitment.

    • @affirmationaffirmations7456
      @affirmationaffirmations7456 Před 4 lety

      True.

    • @ediedevries7454
      @ediedevries7454 Před 3 měsíci

      Why ? When your partner does not know you anymore, they won't miss you either when they don't see you anymore

    • @kathyh4804
      @kathyh4804 Před 14 dny +1

      My x husband of 24 years wouldn’t lift a finger even if I was sick! He STILL expected me to care for HIM and the family ….. he would have left me for sure if I had this! These 2 are REAL men that truly know how to LOVE

  • @pinkmonkeybird2644
    @pinkmonkeybird2644 Před 5 lety +22

    So many people saying these men are exceptional. My dad cared for my mom when she had pancreatic cancer, as did my uncle, her younger brother. My brother’s wife had a massive stroke 5 years ago and she’s 100% dependent on him for everything. My husband has been my carer through some horrific illnesses. These men aren’t exceptional, they are simply good humans, and it’s kind of sad that women expect so little of the men in their lives that these particular men surprise them with their dedication.

  • @janeseppings6935
    @janeseppings6935 Před 6 lety +537

    One of the saddest documentaries I have ever seen. These men truly love their wives and seem so lost without them.

    • @ashleyfalcon125
      @ashleyfalcon125 Před 5 lety +16

      Jane Seppings I agree. I was crying in the first 60 sec. 😢

    • @kaylamesser5733
      @kaylamesser5733 Před 5 lety +12

      Jane Seppings oh it’s heartbreaking. My dad is the same way, we lost my mother this past summer and he’s so lost. It’s pitiful.

    • @tonyhernandez127
      @tonyhernandez127 Před 5 lety

      Jane Seppings . 😞

    • @user-xn9fe1jr6y
      @user-xn9fe1jr6y Před 5 lety +5

      So sad lovely people and she's 2 years younger than me. Terrible disease.

    • @user-xn9fe1jr6y
      @user-xn9fe1jr6y Před 5 lety +2

      @@kaylamesser5733 God bless you all.

  • @manueladarazsdi9675
    @manueladarazsdi9675 Před 6 lety +460

    Good men with caring hearts...

    • @elizabethmeyer7447
      @elizabethmeyer7447 Před 5 lety +11

      Yes great men💞

    • @wordswritteninred7171
      @wordswritteninred7171 Před 5 lety +5

      And life robbed them. Way too soon.

    • @Layla_Bayla
      @Layla_Bayla Před 5 lety +3

      Very rare to see

    • @stanleywheeler404
      @stanleywheeler404 Před 4 lety +4

      Yes my DEAR DAD was one with a BIG CARING AND LOVING HEART WITH OUR DEAR MOM WHO ALSO HAD ALZHEIMER'S !!! MY MOM PASSED AWAY IN 2015 FROM IT ! MY DEAR DAD PASSED AWAY IN 2018 . HIS ONE WISH WAS TO BE WITH MY MOM FOREVER!! NOW THEY ARE TOGETHER FOREVER !

    • @stanleywheeler404
      @stanleywheeler404 Před 4 lety +1

      I have always wondered why Alzheimer's ages these people so FAST almost like overnight !!! What is being done for the RESEARCH on this DISEASE?!!

  • @robin5023
    @robin5023 Před 5 lety +170

    This terrible disease stole my mama/best friend from me 5 years ago. It was so heartbreaking to watch this strong lady, whom I loved so much slowly perish. She and my father were the best parents I could have asked for!! The last thing she was able to tell my brother and I was " I love you" and this was on the day she passed! That's one of many beautiful memories I have of her.
    God bless these gentlemen for all the love they have for theirs wives, you are true angels!!

    • @Mrs.TJTaylor
      @Mrs.TJTaylor Před 5 lety +1

      robin goetzinger You are blessed!

    • @anyanka04
      @anyanka04 Před 5 lety +8

      It's the worst disease ever! My mam suffered this and it was heart breaking.
      Altho she did keep her jolly personality in the nursing home, and I'm grateful for that. But she couldn't recognise us.
      Its strange, but my mam also told me she loved me, those were the last words she said to me. I left and 2 days later she passed away. I can just see her smiling face, waving to me and my daughter as we left for home. It's a beautiful memory she left me with. I miss every day, and also my dad. But, I know they're watching over us 💖🙏🏻

    • @virginiawallace87
      @virginiawallace87 Před 4 lety +3

      Robin(If I May) Please believe that at the time she said that, she knew exactly what she was saying and to whom she was speaking. Prayers for you and yours in this time of crisis. 😷🇺🇸

    • @virginiawallace87
      @virginiawallace87 Před 4 lety +4

      Lorraine Ross ( If I May) Please believe she did know it was you at that moment and she did know what she was saying.I am caregiver to my husband who is in his fourth year of dementia. I have studied it long and hard. There are times they do know exactly who and what they are saying and feeling. So happy you were able to hear it from her. Prayers for you and yours in this time of crisis. 😷🇺🇸

    • @m.r.browning2065
      @m.r.browning2065 Před 4 lety +1

      @@virginiawallace87, I was my late Mom/bff's caregiver as Lewy body dementia wreaked havoc, while she could no longer express it, I'd like to believe she recognized me&knew I was there. But, knowing what my Mom had done to care for me throughout my life, I take solace knowing I was able to return the favor, at least for a few yrs until the very end.

  • @talkin2ya
    @talkin2ya Před 6 lety +219

    I loved how that carer gave Clare a good night kiss, so loving and caring and Gentle ❤️❤️❤️

    • @pam5389
      @pam5389 Před 5 lety +27

      Yes you can see that both women appear to be in good caring homes. I wish more caretakers would be like this. I was a nursing assistant when I was younger and I tried to always remind myself that the person I was caring for could be my parent, grandparent or friend.

    • @margyb7469
      @margyb7469 Před 5 lety +12

      I work as a carer and yes there is residents I kiss and a number of carers I work with also do. It just depends if you are a kissy and cuddly type of person. Many are not kissy and cuddle type but that does not mean that they are not good and caring carers.

  • @tinythechick
    @tinythechick Před 5 lety +132

    I hope I find someone who loves me as much as these men love their wives

  • @BeingGraceDivine
    @BeingGraceDivine Před 5 lety +51

    "feels like you've been shot and you're not dead." - heartbreaking. beautifully done documentary.

    • @christinegelabert1651
      @christinegelabert1651 Před 3 lety +1

      I feel the same way but his words hit me in a different sense. I got diagnosed with Vascular Dementia on March 23rd of last year. I'll be turning 55 in this coming October. So for me it has a different meaning cuz there's depression and repetition every day with this and the days, if you don't get them confused DO meld a lot into each other. It is difficult waiting for the other shoe to fall or your body to hit the fkoor as the expression goes IF that makes sense.

  • @LV-jh4zt
    @LV-jh4zt Před 4 lety +13

    My wife had a major stroke at 47. We are 58 now. She recovered with speech therapy. She has short memory. You marry till death do you part. These are real men. God bless them! 🙏

  • @crystalrd7601
    @crystalrd7601 Před 5 lety +39

    The pain in his voice when he talks about the dishes is crushing, I cried. His love is beautiful. Both of the husbands just wonderful. I can’t finish this, so incredibly sad.

  • @debbiepetrei4654
    @debbiepetrei4654 Před 5 lety +21

    Talk about the true meaning of love. There is truly a place in heaven for these gentlemen.

  • @ciaobella8963
    @ciaobella8963 Před 5 lety +64

    Gosh that was sad. I'll be 71 soon and have been living alone for years, but I'm healthy thank God. I never had someone to love me like that. But that's life isn't it. We can't have everything.

    • @christineazmi5111
      @christineazmi5111 Před 4 lety +5

      Why can't we have everything Janice? We all deserve to be loved.

    • @14nads
      @14nads Před 3 lety +2

      @CoaoBella I hope that you’re still doing well:)

    • @ciaobella8963
      @ciaobella8963 Před 3 lety +2

      @@14nads Thank you. I *am* doing well. :-)

    • @14nads
      @14nads Před 3 lety +1

      @@ciaobella8963 that just made my day!!:)

    • @RMBlake007
      @RMBlake007 Před 3 lety +1

      @@14nads Mine too!! Thank You both!!

  • @anak1050
    @anak1050 Před 5 lety +23

    Tears started running down my face when that men started singing. This is real love!

  • @madeleine8977
    @madeleine8977 Před 5 lety +24

    Mandy's husband did not betray her. He cared for her in the best way he could. And both men clearly love their wives deeply. Beautiful to see.

    • @Susan-d2y
      @Susan-d2y Před 7 dny

      But if it were the other way around, Their wives would probably be caring for these men at home. Quit praising men for every positive thing they ever do!

  • @ridcomics9364
    @ridcomics9364 Před 5 lety +46

    A lasting love will never be forgotten.

  • @Superstar-fn7rv
    @Superstar-fn7rv Před 3 lety +8

    The true meaning of loving someone. Heartbreaking. These men are absolute diamonds

  • @graceaxisa4213
    @graceaxisa4213 Před 5 lety +81

    The husbands of these women affected by dementia express themselves so poignantly. Beautiful words that clearly, sharply zoom right into their feelings and thoughts. I feel privileged to be given the honour of sharing this. The devotion, care and respect given to their beautiful wives fill me with hope and admiration. Life is fleeting and we need to make the most of what we have, when we can. But, my goodness, life is so unfair!

    • @Dadelyn3
      @Dadelyn3 Před 5 lety +5

      Agre with your beautiful words, my 98 year old mon have sundowner alzimers

  • @sarasmith19
    @sarasmith19 Před 6 lety +93

    In sickness and in health. I love my spouse. I am older and aging. He never complains.

  • @familynash3579
    @familynash3579 Před 5 lety +37

    I watched this after returning from a very hard visit to my Mom who has Dementia and Alzheimer's
    She begs to die every visit. She is 88 and hasn't been herself for 18-19 years.
    Last week a dear lady - age 61 died of cancer. I would love to take the last 10 years from my Mom and give it to our 61 year old friend. I think my Mom would agree to the arrangement. Life is not fair. Sweet Couples!

    • @analarson2920
      @analarson2920 Před 5 lety +3

      Fear not God knows what is best, we have a struggle because we only know what is in front of us.

    • @chelongogan3904
      @chelongogan3904 Před rokem

      @@analarson2920 they suffer like in the terrible Tribulation where they seek death and can't die....
      How sad.....

  • @pinkdagger
    @pinkdagger Před 6 lety +55

    So tragic and so beautiful. Terribly sad to think of how lonely home lives can become when a spouse can't come back home.

    • @margieford4571
      @margieford4571 Před 5 lety +4

      Sad, but so very true! All family members of a dementia patient need to learn about the remaining spouse. It is very lonely..I am experiencing this right now.

  • @melvoniabouwer7896
    @melvoniabouwer7896 Před 6 lety +66

    True love will prefail. How precious and caring both husbands is towards their wifes. God bless them.

  • @Muensterlaenderin
    @Muensterlaenderin Před 5 lety +66

    Love does not end when everything around you collapses
    , Love does not end when the person you love no longer recognizes you
    , Love does not end when your life is suddenly lonely
    -true love is infinite
    .These are wonderful men and I really hope they have someone who take care of them,because all too often, all the friends are suddenly gone when it gets difficult.
    I also hope that you can enjoy many wonderful hours together with your wives.
    Life is sometimes very cruel.

    • @chanelgez2146
      @chanelgez2146 Před 5 lety +3

      Menoah Is Xs exactly well said 👍

    • @queenbeethatme1009
      @queenbeethatme1009 Před 5 lety +2

      Everything you said is trite. I wonder how most of you would be. I had to nurse a dying husband when I was 29. We had 3 young children.
      He died at age 49. I was 32. Both I and the kids were hostage to his illness.
      We had survivors guilt when he died.
      We loved him, but as long as he lived, we never could.
      We held metaphorically collective breaths until he passed. Years filled with crisis, stress , trauma and heartbreak. I had to work, care for him and the kids.. bargain for care for the 4 of them when I had to be out of town.
      Life is not fair..but surely, I think some get more heartbreak than others.
      Now my next husband may have early onset dementia..I dread this new vigil. I am a lot more stressed and tired at almost 60, than I was at 30.

    • @joeldecoster8816
      @joeldecoster8816 Před 5 lety +1

      you might feel diffferent whenit happens to you.......and if you are both sick and poor/

  • @anngarnsey3622
    @anngarnsey3622 Před 6 lety +282

    I wish I could meet a man like that. Some times I forget that good men like that really do exist.

    • @joeldecoster8816
      @joeldecoster8816 Před 5 lety +3

      and who will look after him?

    • @scottcupp8129
      @scottcupp8129 Před 5 lety +2

      We do

    • @jpecco9668
      @jpecco9668 Před 5 lety +3

      Of course they do , you just havent got one🤔

    • @boritoxd75
      @boritoxd75 Před 5 lety +1

      Hurry and catch me!!!!! 🙋🏽‍♂️

    • @wayneworley1293
      @wayneworley1293 Před 5 lety +4

      We sure do I'm one but we get looked over like the bad 🍎 at the market

  • @ildikojakab641
    @ildikojakab641 Před 5 lety +39

    I have worked with young people with dementia... It was horrible. I met their families all the time and it was terrible to see them grieving a living person whom they had already lost....

    • @keztukariri
      @keztukariri Před rokem

      You have my utmost respect, I couldn't do it 💔💔💔 much love to you xoxo

  • @elhuddleston17
    @elhuddleston17 Před 5 lety +40

    I was working in a a residential home in Kansas City Missouri USA in 1990's starting to take care of patients when I was introduced to a 54 year old woman in a wheelchair who had dementia at the time I was in my 30's. I was shocked I never heard of such a thing, I had always thought it was a late 60's and older disorder. I am now in my 60's...

    • @CatElse
      @CatElse Před 10 měsíci

      Usually older than late 60s

    • @Sashazur
      @Sashazur Před měsícem

      It’s officially called “early onset dementia” if it happens before age 65.

  • @maryfiaola3686
    @maryfiaola3686 Před rokem +7

    watching 2023 , Thank you for this video xxxx These husbands were so loving and caring and understanding.

  • @forestrot666
    @forestrot666 Před 5 lety +55

    This made me cry so hard. Keep her dancing.

  • @k.w.1459
    @k.w.1459 Před 5 lety +53

    One thing that really hit home: “that’s where it stays, because that’s where it belongs.” Certainly the same can be said of the commitment and feelings of both these wonderful husbands. Devotion. Hard to find these days.
    That song Mat wrote was immensely beautiful. 😭

    • @gloriawaters1455
      @gloriawaters1455 Před rokem +1

      Wow what a very moving song Mat it made me cry 😢 bless you for loving your wife ❤

  • @fefemyluv
    @fefemyluv Před 6 lety +50

    I often forget that dementia can occur so early in life. God bless these two couples.

    • @GuerinGrad09
      @GuerinGrad09 Před 6 lety +2

      Alzheimers can actually even occur in children. It isn't called alzheimers, but it has the same effect.

    • @pam5389
      @pam5389 Před 5 lety +2

      When I was a nursing assistant back in 1987-1990 you didn't see as many people as now with early onset dementia or Alzheimer's.

    • @poolahpot
      @poolahpot Před 5 lety

      Pam P.
      Totally agree!
      SOMETHING is definitely going on.

  • @taramartin6117
    @taramartin6117 Před 5 lety +77

    Blessings on you guys, i work with folks with dementia. it is very hard.

    • @islandgirl9479
      @islandgirl9479 Před 5 lety +2

      @tara Martin tell me about it my 9 sibling is taking care of my mom with Alzheimer's and Stage 4 kidney disease.
      She is at home now in hospice care right now.😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @catraoinekelly2879
    @catraoinekelly2879 Před 5 lety +33

    These men are the very definition of unconditional love; unselfish, considerate, respectful and loving their partners in spite of this devastating illness. We should all be lucky enough to find partners such as this in our lives. And the carers are a special breed in and of themselves, their compassion and empathy seem unlimited, going above and beyond for their charges...this was a beautiful, but bittersweet documentary, thank you so much for the upload 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

  • @jenniferaugustino9853
    @jenniferaugustino9853 Před 6 lety +69

    Its sad there are only 410 views. This is an amazing documentary! Theses husbands are wonderful to there wives. God bless all of them. U can see true love . 💕💕

  • @victoriamayo5774
    @victoriamayo5774 Před 5 lety +29

    I love him for truly loving her

  • @AprilBlessedandhighlyfavored

    God knows I want to find love like this

  • @mahimahi5457
    @mahimahi5457 Před 5 lety +39

    God bless them all. That song Mat wrote was so beautiful, too. Made me cry. 😥💌

  • @hannahleclaire1629
    @hannahleclaire1629 Před 5 lety +48

    My Grandma has Dementia and I’ve taken care of her everyday the last 2 years.. it’s very very hard😕 she finally went to a home just two weeks ago.. but the person she is now is no where compared to the person she was😕 she’s still my Maumau and I see that side of who she is every now and then.. but it’s getting less and less each day.. it’s such a horrible thing to happen to anyone I think.. but all we can do is treat them the same as they once were!💗

    • @pam5389
      @pam5389 Před 5 lety +4

      I agree with you. Big Hugs to you and your family.

    • @marlynlawson1202
      @marlynlawson1202 Před 5 lety +5

      Sing with her a lot. See if you can find recordings(CDs) of some of her favourite music, and play to her.

    • @OreoTime1
      @OreoTime1 Před 5 lety +2

      God bless you always!

    • @sierrasiennasavahnadesertn6605
      @sierrasiennasavahnadesertn6605 Před 5 lety

      I felt God make my heart well when I simply prayed a prayer of blessings for Benny Hinn's ministry. God also gives me healing and wellness when I donate to Benny Hinn's ministry. I give $25 or $50 or more or just pray, which ever I feel God wants me to do when ever me or my family need more healing or wellness. Its a very powerful Christian teaching and healing ministry. Check it out online its awesome! You can call his prayer center and ask for prayer. Or you can attend a Benny Hinn Healing Crusade, they are free for everyone to attend.

  • @morningdove20
    @morningdove20 Před 5 lety +30

    Like the Notebook, I have my tissues at my side while watching this. God Bless these husband's. Real Men. ♥️

  • @grandpastellingyou
    @grandpastellingyou Před 5 lety +61

    My eyes are broken! They won’t stop leaking 😭

  • @XXXSHARONOXXX
    @XXXSHARONOXXX Před 6 lety +76

    This was really heartbreaking to watch....Bless them all and the caring workers who look after them

  • @sandraottway5618
    @sandraottway5618 Před 4 lety +7

    OMG MATT FERRIS, THAT SONG WRITTEN FOR YOUR LOVELY WIFE MADE ME CRY, SO BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY, GOD BLESS X

  • @lovingmayberry307
    @lovingmayberry307 Před 5 lety +19

    Such amazing, dedicated, lovely men! Please, please, please don't live with guilt! You did what needed to be done for her and she would tell you that if she could!

  • @lovetogarden8455
    @lovetogarden8455 Před 5 lety +6

    Just imagine what kind of world we would live in if everyone had a huge heart ❤️ like these fellows! And our world without dementia. My mommy passed away 13 years ago with this disease it was so sad to see this disease take over so quickly, my mom was a strong woman 👩🏻 I always thought nothing could knock her down. But this disease took over in a matter of a few months😢. I miss her everyday. Blessings to all of those who are suffering with dementia in their family.💐

  • @nannyb8714
    @nannyb8714 Před 3 lety +4

    Very Sad...if ever I hear that Beautiful song again, I know the tears will flow. Very Beautiful and touching stories, God bless you all.

  • @NolaGB
    @NolaGB Před 6 lety +52

    Regardless of what ever the circumstances maybe, no one should be alone . Alone is a very sad place to be ... that's why I have 3 dogs ... they're company, they listen and are always happy to see you. You have a beautiful voice. Mat.

    • @smwrbd
      @smwrbd Před 5 lety +3

      I have two dogs and a cat.

    • @mareewillmore6124
      @mareewillmore6124 Před 5 lety

      robert donaldson Lo

    • @analarson2920
      @analarson2920 Před 5 lety +1

      You would be amazed some are not so friendly to folks living with them so it can be hard in that sense too. We just keep trying and make sure we can do safety first as well as compassion in a good healthy way.

    • @leylamamat215
      @leylamamat215 Před 5 lety +2

      I always worry about my cats..what will happen after my passing.

    • @analarson2920
      @analarson2920 Před 5 lety +2

      @@leylamamat215 good question, talk to friends and family, make a will, make arrangements with folks or a good shelter. don't wait, I have family and friends, and if they can not take my service dog I have a friend with a farm who would take her in a heart beat. Do make sure your pet is well cared for and behaves well, it makes it easier should something happen to you for someone to take care of the pet on the short-term or long-term. Prayers and peace for your journey.

  • @drbob528
    @drbob528 Před 5 lety +4

    Nearly 20 years ago my wife died of 56 died of pancreatic cancer; she remains in my thoughts every day. That these two men and others like them cope daily with the slow death of dementia says much about the strength of love. This film is a sensitive treatment of a sad process; hopefully though, it reminds others in this situation that they are not alone.

  • @carriebizz
    @carriebizz Před 5 lety +13

    Heartbreaking but so lovely to see how these husbands are so dedicated to their wives. Unconditional love. Damn Matt that song is beautiful it had me in tears

  • @michelleclarke526
    @michelleclarke526 Před 5 lety +9

    My heart warms me to see and hear these husband's loves for their wives is precious as gold and their wonderful caring carers.

  • @marys3127
    @marys3127 Před 5 lety +17

    I am shattered by this, as empathy allows us to imagine going thru what these couples are going thru & it is unbelievably sad. So sorry for the loss of the love of your lives.

  • @aliciao.5731
    @aliciao.5731 Před 5 lety +8

    I'm very touched by the love these men have for their wives.

  • @miknmas1301
    @miknmas1301 Před 3 lety +5

    These husbands are just magnificent!

  • @suek7086
    @suek7086 Před 5 lety +3

    This is so beautiful. I lost my hubby in 2014 to pneumonia as a result of Alzheimer’s. It caused him to have trouble swallowing and he aspirated his meds. He only made it 18 months after his diagnosed with early onset dementia because he was only 63. His great fear was becoming a violent dementia patient later on. God protected him from that and his death was a gift to him. I miss him horribly but can’t wish him back. His dementia progressed rapidly in the physical rather than the mental. He went from just occasional balance problems to needing a walker within four months. Some days/weeks he was super sharp, reading, doing things, and others where he didn’t seem to understand anything. Very heartbreaking because he knew what was happening to him. The 12 days he was in the hospital before he died he was sharp, clear, and really great. We really enjoyed him. Even on a ventilator he was clear and unseated, ordering us all around and joking in motions. When his vent was removed, at his request, he told me thank you for letting me go home to heaven. He talked to us for 50 more minutes, clear as a bell. Then he peacefully went with his Lord.

  • @MG-bq1uk
    @MG-bq1uk Před 5 lety +4

    Hits home...Living it now....hardest thing to watch a love one deteriorate before your eyes. My 89 year old veteran father has dementia. I lost my Mom in September to brain cancer. It was devastating to tell my Dad that Mom passed every morning when he went to look for her inside their home. 60 years together then a few months later after their anniversary... we lost her. Now, I'm watching my Dad rapidly become frail and disappearing before my eyes. Heart breaking. Mom, like I promised you, I'm taking good care of Dad. 🇺🇸🙏💕🌹We love and miss you deeply!💔💐 The holidays and birthdays are the hardest.

  • @janettapia9944
    @janettapia9944 Před 6 lety +81

    Why would people say move on she is still alive...

  • @selcouth86
    @selcouth86 Před 6 lety +73

    The longest long-distance relationship, almost completely one-sided and yet they loved and love through it all.
    When he said he screamed at the moon and thought he saw a face in it, first thing that came to mind was god. Wanting there to be something more than just the darkness and just a cold indifferent light.

  • @jessicalorraine9011
    @jessicalorraine9011 Před 5 lety +19

    Til death do us part. Much respect sir. God bless you.

  • @lulu-iz7bv
    @lulu-iz7bv Před 3 lety +19

    Essentially the person you fell in love with is gone. It really is a death. I used to watch some people visiting their spouses, who were vegetative and literally were sustained on ventilators for years. There was criticism for people, who visited less often, or who married again shortly after the spouse finally expired. People seem to forget that the spouse really died a long time ago, and the living people had been grieving the death for years.

    • @Sashazur
      @Sashazur Před měsícem

      And of those critical people, how many would visit an ailing loved one every day for years and put their life on hold the whole time?

  • @give_me_a_quiet_mind
    @give_me_a_quiet_mind Před 4 lety +3

    I absolutely adore that their husbands came together and opened up to each other. Thank you for taking care your wives and each other.

  • @justjoan82
    @justjoan82 Před 5 lety +4

    They were lucky to have such wonderful husbands who REALLY cared. This Jan 24th it will be 1 year since I lost my mom to dementia. The last 2 years I was her main caregiver. My step father helped some, but spent most of his time on the computer and would just walk by, look in her room and wave. That broke my heart. I wish she had someone like you two gentlemen. God Bless You.

  • @jmariew9966
    @jmariew9966 Před 4 lety +2

    To have this kind of bond with your partner is a blessing - these people not only love each other they like each other.

  • @starbrightstarlight2233
    @starbrightstarlight2233 Před 5 lety +10

    So glad they have each other ~ They do LOVE their wives . God love them all !

  • @rayleescherger4030
    @rayleescherger4030 Před 5 lety +29

    My brother is 64 in stage 6 I am so sad :( His wife & Kids he no longer knows them or me his sister I am so sad :( Thanks for the video!!

    • @carolynworthington8996
      @carolynworthington8996 Před 5 lety +1

      Sandi Ermantrout 64! SO young! Sending all good wishes to you and your family.

    • @patreis3722
      @patreis3722 Před 4 lety

      Sandi Ermantrout : My Brother has vascular dementia and I have taken care of him for six years. My mother cared for him five years before she passed away. So sad, but it’s worth it!! God bless you and all family members who care for loved ones!! ♥️🙏🏼

  • @lifeonwheels5756
    @lifeonwheels5756 Před 5 lety +3

    To be loved like this is truly a blessing. To be cared for and thought about on this level is my hope and desire.

  • @AriasMummy
    @AriasMummy Před 6 lety +33

    That was beautiful, well done. True love.

  • @djohn515
    @djohn515 Před 5 lety +7

    The world still has good men god bless him

  • @donnawilcock5774
    @donnawilcock5774 Před 5 lety +8

    The love and devotion of these 2 men to their sweethearts is so touching. They are true examples of "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, til death do us part". Bless them all.

  • @ohiorich1
    @ohiorich1 Před 5 lety +12

    Beautiful. I lost my mother from Dementia in 2014. I helped take care of her, with my Father for 3 years non stop, at the end of her life. My father said he would never put my mother in a nursing home, but after she fell and broke her hip, she never came out of the nursing home.... I feel so sorry for these gentlemen in this video. If I could talk to them I would say. You did not abandon your wives, and you did the best thing for them by placing them somewhere where they could get the best care, for the end of there lives. Please never think back and say, What if, for the what was is a great memory to always have. All my love and respect to those that are going through this. Some days it will feel like hell, but you will always have the good days to remember too.

  • @kimberlee3243
    @kimberlee3243 Před 6 lety +21

    💔💔💔💔 what a lovely, but candid story. My heart goes out to the families. Hugs from Boston

    • @barbarabuonincontro1990
      @barbarabuonincontro1990 Před 5 lety

      Luv your spouse.bi took care of 2 men in my life my husband who passed. And my boyfriend of 9 years they bothdied . Rest in peace. Dom and Joe you both. Until we meet again. Barbbuon

    • @barbarabuonincontro1990
      @barbarabuonincontro1990 Před 5 lety

      What a nice couple.he luv s her.

  • @GuerinGrad09
    @GuerinGrad09 Před 6 lety +42

    This is so sad. I know how dementia effects people and it is awful. Then it often turns into Alzheimers and that is even worse. These videos make me feel so blessed to have 2 healthy parents. I cannot imagine anything different.

    • @elouise5593
      @elouise5593 Před 4 lety +7

      Dementia doesn't suddenly turn into Alheimers. Alzheimers is a type of dementia. There are many different kinds, alzheimers being the most common, I believe.

    • @papabear2515
      @papabear2515 Před 4 lety

      E Louise you are correct.

    • @papabear2515
      @papabear2515 Před 4 lety +2

      Music, music music! It is CRITICAL For every person with dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc. go to CZcams and look at “music and memory Alzheimer’s” - incredible! The part of the brain that stores music is the last to go ....and music brings such happiness and even remembering to those with dementia. Please watch it! It will change everything if you love someone or care for someone with emery issues! My mom has Alzheimer’s and when we play music - she remembers the lyrics and becomes animated and happy and even gleeful! Transformation!

  • @vivienlee610
    @vivienlee610 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Two beautiful couples touched by this disease but their love is still there... is so touching...the love they have for each other is so tangible. I love the way he uses his music to bring consolation and comfort not just to himself, but others as well. These two show what real love is.. I won der how they're doing now.. ❤

  • @mrs.garcia6978
    @mrs.garcia6978 Před 6 lety +30

    What beautiful stories. Thank you.

  • @hannawilliams3008
    @hannawilliams3008 Před 4 lety +1

    My mom has alcoholic dementia and despite this film being about men losing their wives, it brought up enough for me to let loose some tears I’ve been holding back for a long time. Thank you.

  • @precilaserna4659
    @precilaserna4659 Před 5 lety +6

    I love taking care my Employer which have Dementia she’s so sweet , every morning she always give me a sweet 😊 smile and say Hi 👋 ..still she knows how to say thank you 😊

  • @heavensmountains323
    @heavensmountains323 Před 5 lety +6

    It is painful to come into this world & it is painful to leave so often. This was so very moving & yet uplifting to see how these husbands cope day by day with the sad circumstances of their marriage. True to their vows...'In sickness and in health'.

  • @jewelhaines8842
    @jewelhaines8842 Před 5 lety +14

    So very sweet and sad. This is what true love looks like. ❤

  • @sandyp4123
    @sandyp4123 Před rokem +3

    These women have been so blessed to meet these wonderful men and vice versa ❤❤

  • @pj123xyz
    @pj123xyz Před 5 lety +40

    Enjoy your life Get out, do things every day with the people you love. We never know how long we have to be healthy or in our right minds. Life is such a beautiful and fleeting thing. You wake up one day and wonder where the years have gone. My sister has early onset dementia caused by damage done by years of undiagnosed adult hydrocephalus. She's only 57. She's just a shell of who she once was. Her husband refuses to take her to a care facility yet. He'll care for her as long as he can and I'm afraid when he has to it will kill him. They've been together their whole lives. Childhood sweethearts. All 5 of my aunts on my mums side died of dementia or Alzheimer's. My grandma was diagnosed in her late 40s. Needless to say I'm expecting for me but hopefully I'll be spared and can enjoy some time after retirement. The one couple with the guy who plays guitar remind me so much of my sis and brother in law. So sad to happen to such loving people.

    • @analarson2920
      @analarson2920 Před 5 lety +1

      He is a blessing, watch Ted Talks, there seems to be a lot of findings on what we eat and how we live our lives affects our genetics so you may stave it off even more, check some of the talks out.

    • @karenkirwan942
      @karenkirwan942 Před 4 lety

      That is sad, did they try a shunt? NPH is the only form of dementia that can sometimes be reversed I think.

  • @firedinner9821
    @firedinner9821 Před 4 lety +2

    ”And if you had your time again, I would do it all again” That teared me up real good.

  • @nature_photography_yukon
    @nature_photography_yukon Před 5 lety +7

    Very sad, but also heartwarming to see these beautiful couples, the husbands are doing amazing, pray for more support and awareness for people with dementia and their loved ones. Music is a wonderful thing and Mat singing and playing for the residents is so uplifting, loved it when Mandy smiled at the end of the video and when Mat and Clare were dancing together.

  • @daturad479
    @daturad479 Před 5 lety +17

    Mat "So, we got 3 grandchildren"
    Clare "Wow, can't believe that!"
    So freakin cute.
    Yes, this doc breaks my heart but you gotta find the giggles and smiles where you can. :)

  • @AspieAnswers
    @AspieAnswers Před 6 lety +17

    These are great stories. Good to see that they still love each other no matter what they're going through. Great memories that they share together. No matter what we need to know the signs if this and more. The carers there are great people that care and love them...

  • @hoosfan29
    @hoosfan29 Před 26 dny +2

    My beloved dad died 3 years ago of dementia. He never completely forgot everyone. He died officially of pneumonia. My mom and dad had a beautiful love story. They were married for 56 years. 3 months before he died,on their anniversary he bought her 2 dozen roses and made her a beautiful card. He wrote her cute poem but the few line said this - “ I may forget a a movie or about certain places or time,
    It’s sad, know I’m losing my mind
    There is one thing ,one thing I will never forget is how deeply I love you. I will never forget because you are deep in my heart”. Dementia is DEVASTATING.

  • @deefromtx5530
    @deefromtx5530 Před 5 lety +16

    Such love they have for their beautiful ladies. It's a tough road. Bless you all.

  • @dorindadegagne8468
    @dorindadegagne8468 Před 5 lety +3

    My dad has Parkinson’s dementia and this just makes me treasure the time I have left with him and breaks my heart for my mom because she doesn’t realize he is never gonna be the man he was. I try and help them as much as I can.

  • @macclift9956
    @macclift9956 Před 5 lety +12

    It's so good that the men could get together for fish 'n chips 'n beer! It's good to chat about problems! I wish them well!

  • @julesjazzie
    @julesjazzie Před 5 lety +8

    This brought a lot of memories to me. I remember the day when my uncle phone me and told me that my aunt was diagnosed with dementia. I was in studying nursing then and took time off to came home. My own parents died when I was only 11 years old and they, my uncle and aunt, brought us as their own as they not blessed with children. To cut the long story short, I looked after my aunt till the end. I love her and miss her.

  • @y2daisy
    @y2daisy Před 5 lety +3

    This video made me cry,what wonderful husbands they have. God bless these couples.

  • @theeveronever1554
    @theeveronever1554 Před 5 lety +10

    I honestly did not think that men could actually love seeing this changed my mind. my heart breaks for them I cannot imagine the sadness and pain they must feel going through this 💔💝😔

    • @Ancheladamichelada
      @Ancheladamichelada Před 4 lety

      My old man is not my husband legally but we've been together 5 years in march. I have so many medical issues and he has been my pillar through it all.

  • @nonnalovepriceless
    @nonnalovepriceless Před 5 lety +5

    My father had it my mum was so good to him write to the end
    It’s a horrible sickness .my poor dad died at 66 he left such a whole in out hearts
    Then mum died
    And there is not one moment hat goes by that I don’t think of them both
    Had such delightful parents
    One day I will see them again ..

  • @ozventure3822
    @ozventure3822 Před 2 lety +2

    I too have vascular dementia at 57. Diagnosed 4 months ago. I am lucky I don't have a husband, I am happy to just sit in my chair every day. Content. My son is my only worry. As I slowly leave him his anxiety worsens. I think we should have counciling for him. I was very busy with life but now I stay home. I call it closing down. I love quiet. I love sleeping. My tremor is worsening and is frustrating. So when I am in a home my tremor won't matter as things are done for me. I am glad I don't have a sad man visiting. I have told my son not to visit if it hurts you and hurts your marriage. He is only 27. This is a long n sad goodbye. Thank you for this film.

  • @soniamartinez9157
    @soniamartinez9157 Před 5 lety +43

    What amazing love.. I hate dementia.....

    • @annar1627
      @annar1627 Před 5 lety

      Everyone does, what a silly comment.

  • @DG-nv3nn
    @DG-nv3nn Před 5 lety +1

    I worked in a long term care facility for dementia patients, so hard to witness the loss and essence of who someone once was, how they disappear before their loved ones eyes, the pain was disturbing and makes you see life differently. Although these patients couldn't understand what was being said they always knew gestures of kindness, your gentle tone in your voice, calm soothing energy, they could still recognize how you made them feel. This has got to be one of the worst diseases, my heart goes out to all those that face this and the families affected. One of the best movies capturing the development of dementia and the impact of loved ones is called Away from her, it's a journey down a hard path yet a support for all those that feel alone dealing with this disease.