THANK YOU. I knew I had heard this beautiful statement and realized I didn't credit the author but could not remember where I heard it. I do so love it.
I LOVE that quote, found it the other day. Many African Americans call a funeral a "Homecoming", which I find beautiful. Sister's Day was recent, and I used Ram Dass' quote to thank all the women in my life that walked with me. Some stay but most leave, most stay for a moment or an hour, but if I have 1 or 2 at the end, I won't be afraid to start over one more time. Peace.
I remember Elisabeth Kübler Ross saying that those near death are sensitive to insincerity. So, important to be real with them, authentic, sincere. Love your channel! 💛🙏🏽
As a near-death experiencer myself, it is bothersome when people are insincere and now that I have studied psychopathy extensively for the last seven years and having 56 years of experience living with those type of people finally now I am easy to pick up on those who are not sincere even if they're feigning it.
Many years ago, I visited my uncle who told me he was not long was for this world. I to,d him that he should hold his head up proud! He lived a great life! Fought for his country I. wW2, earned a Purple Heart. Raised two fine children who were doing very well, upstanding citizens, married the prettiest girl in Crew VA, and lived a good Christian life. He should hold his head up and go into the next world knowing he made the best of his life! He really did seem to appreciate me saying those things, they were all true. He died two days later.
When my mom was in the worst pain ever during her last months she asked out loudly "will it ever get better?" and she looked at me. I wanted to comfort her so bad and say "yes, everything will be just fine" but I couldn't. My heart sank. I knew she wasn't going to get better, I knew she will die in a few months at best. And I just said "mom, I don't know, we gotta deal with what we've got in this moment, so you're not in pain". It was heartbreaking 😢
Your comments on the way that your body dies. The stages of death. My family just experienced my mother in hospice care. Your knowledge of the events were exactly what happened in our case. You could not have been any more right. You learned a lot from dealing with people who are passing on. Keep up the great work you are doing. My comments are from other videos you have posted about the process of passing on
I am a retired NP. Many years ago I did a two day course on death and dying. I worked in ICU at the time. It was a topic that was never presented in my past education in such a way that enabled me to better respond to my patient’s needs in this context. Your practice is quite unique and I have enjoyed your presentations. Soldier on dear colleague, and I can assure you that your insight and approach to death and dying is worth sharing. Hugs!
My mom is dying. Every time I go to see her I don’t know what to say to her. This all happened so fast. One day she was herself the next she was dying and very different. I started watching your videos about 2 months ago. No reason, just started watching them. I’ve learned a lot and I see the different ways she acts now in her face features and other things. Not wanting to eat or drink anything. I just want her to be at peace and happy before she leaves us. I lost dad in 2000 to a freak accident and now watching mom be like this is harder than losing dad. Thank you for taking the time to do these videos. They have helped and educated me on what to expect. God bless you Julie .
If you have patience and understanding as your foundation then the right words will come at the right time. You should make sure that you carry no resentment towards your mom whatsoever. This is the only way that, after she goes on, you can live your life having no burden of guilt or regrets.
, read the things Jesus said , build up your faith , tell your mother you love her , tell her God loves... HER....Build up your faith just start speaking it, it will come to you ... I went through the same thing with my sister she died at 42 and she said Linda I'm scared to die. And can you believe it , I did not know what to say I cannot believe that I am so ashamed of myself don't do what I did, GOD BLESS YOU.
Be with your mom all you can she needs you and will know you are there. Praying for you. You need to be with your mom during this difficult time God will help you through this. And when she can't talk still talk to her hold her hand praying for you 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Yes Julie. And these quotes: “The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares." - Henri J.M. Nouwen “Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention... A loving silence often has far more power to heal... than the most well-intentioned words." - Rachel Naomi
Lovely lesson. I was able to sing my mother home. We loved singing hymns together at the piano. So, even tho she was unresponsive and didn’t open her eyes her last day- sitting with her thru song comforted both of us. I am forever grateful to have shared our hymns - one last time.
Thank u nurse Julie, I have a brother that was giving 2 months to live. He’s on Hospice, but is still living at his house. Thiers no chance for him to do any treatments, He’s 69 and weighs about 90 lbs now .He knows he’s dying , and what I was wondering ( and my sister too) is that we really don’t know what to say to him, when we go visit. Thank You for all the info you have given all your followers!!!!
I will be going into hospice soon and let me tell you, your brother doesn’t know what to say either. Sometimes there are feelings bigger than words. And on the flip side, illness and mortality can be so boring. Your life shrinks to a little room and all anyone wants to talk to you about is urine output and medication changes. Give him space to be quiet and present, but you may have to do some of the conversational heavy lifting if he is unable to. 1. Keep telling him about your life and your family, share good news! People think it’s rude, like your loved one is going to say, I’ve got cancer and you want me to celebrate your daughter’s promotion to assistant manager?! But, honestly, we do. We want to hear everything. 2. If there isn’t news, perhaps talk about your favourite childhood memories. There should be more laughter at this time, as well as tears. Do you remember when…? 3. If there’s anything you haven’t said to him yet, now is the time. Don’t save it for the eulogy. I know that’s hard, I’m from a family that doesn’t communicate our emotions well - we just don’t talk about our feelings. Perhaps have a think about these questions and see if anything comes up? My favourite memory of you as a child was when… When we were growing up, you always made me feel… I never told you, but when you did X] for me, I felt [Y] Did you know that everyone describes you as [X]? This song will always remind me of you, here’s why… Lastly, bless you for being there, even when it’s hard and awkward. Your brother appreciates it more than you know.
When I would go see my daddy before he died I would ask him about things that happened in his life. He was born in 1913 so saw all the modern things we have now. One time I saw a 1923 Chevrolet truck, not sure what the correct name was tt or aa. It was heavier than a pickup of the day. He said "I remember when that was the latest thing". He told me about wiring the house and barn for electricity when they were building the power line to the farm. I pulled out my cellphone one time and he said we never had those things when we were little. I reminded him that I didn't either. We had a land line that was a party line and my great aunt ran the switch board. So ask about the things they remember and make videos or audio recordings at least so you have the memories saved. My dad passed in 2020 and there are still times I want to ask him about things that happened in the family. My dad survived double pneumonia when he was 105 and 5 months old. He was put on hospice because he didn't recover as quickly as they thought he would. But tell me what is the usual expected recovery time for a 105 + year old man when he was beyond his life expectancy? He recovered well enough they took him off hospice " because of continued prognosis " and he lived another 1 + 1/2 years. He was cognizant until he died.
@Kit M what a lovely, thoughtful post. Thank you for these suggestions. We will all have a final day, and some get to spend meaningful time with loved ones. I miss my mom so much. She died in April of 2017 and I think of her every single day and wish I had the chance to talk to her and hug her. I wish you peace and happiness.
That's so beautiful! When our mother was dying, my sister asked me how I could be so "strong" because she never knows what to say or do. I told her that I'm not strong. I don't know what to say either, but what helps is understanding that no one knows, so you just be honest, and let others feel their feelings. Laugh with them, cry with them, but mostly allow them to feel angry or sad or frightened. It's all ok. It's not strength. I think Bob Marley said "you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." Honesty is strength. "I don't know," can be comforting - it's honest AF, and that, in itself helps imo anyway. ❤
I want to say thank you to all of the hospice nurses! When my dad passed the nurse that helped our family was a gift. She didn't just help my dad, she helped me care for him. She was so comforting and it was greatly appreciated .
I wish I could say the same about the hospice nurse assigned to my mother…she was anything but helpful. It was the weekend emergency hospice nurse I had to call the night before my mother died that actually took the time to teach me how to take care of my mother…a little late. I remember my mother had questions & was explaining how she was breathing & all the assigned nurse had to say was “well, it’s only going to get worse.” How that was helpful was beyond me. I “shared” it all the nurse that came after mother passed. I won’t be calling on that particular hospice group again.
I love that you were able to sit in the uncomfortable silence. It is so hard to do. I'm like you where I want to make them feel better, but I can't fix anything but me. I so appreciate you speaking about this. It reminds me to sit in the slience, be with that feeling... Each person has their own journey.. Thank you, you are such a blessing to me...
It helped me to stop thinking about "making them feel better" and start thinking I wanted to help them be comfortable. Both mentally and physically. Whatever that entailed. ❣
Last month I was with my in-laws for the last six weeks of Dad's life. He didn't accept that he was dying until a week before he did, but those final days with the help of hospice made such a difference! Before that last week, he ran me ragged, calling for me all hours of the day and night. He didn't express fear in words, but he needed to know someone was there to help, who would stay to help his wife after he was gone. The simple act of being present was everything to him. Lots of changes brought confusion to their home (Mom has dementia, and we learned how well he covered for her.) All I could repeat to them was that they wouldn't be left alone, and they are both so loved. What a privilege it is, to be the reassurance for someone that they're not alone 💜
I have a morbid curiosity about death, always have. Your videos are so authentic and educational. My grandfather said he was not afraid of death; he was afraid of dying. There is a difference. Thank you, Nurse Julie.
As I said before, Jennifer’ there is nothing morbid about it, if we’re all honest, everyone is curious of things mortuary. ANd, MsMoe, Woody Allen “I’m not afraid of death, I just didn’t want to be there when it happened..”
Memories. In my grams last moments she still grinned and had twinkles in her eyes. What a graceful and peaceful passing. I swear she waited for my gramps birthday, on Oct 17.
Thank you for this. I love your posts. I had to let me grandson go when he was only 28 years old from pancreatic cancer with only 10 months notice. We had such a close relationship and one thing he cherished and honored about me is that I was always truthful, honest and I talked straight from the hip. He didn't like sugar coating anything. We were able to say everything to each other that needed said or was felt. I also lost my 1st mother in law to lung cancer. We only 3 more months after her diagnosis. I absolutely hated that the family insisted that no one ever talk to her about her dying. She was frightened. I saw it in her face. She wanted to talk about it, to be hugged, to be loved, but no emotions were allowed to be shown in front of her because this was a very cold and unemotionally driven family. Never once did I see anyone hug each other. I always did with both of my in-laws because that is who I was and they never had a problem with it. She loved her hugs. So much was left unsaid. I beg people to please don't do that. Let them express themselves and you show your love and connection with them. They want to say goodbye just as much as you do. Don't let closed minded controlling people tell you not to say "I love you and will miss you".
We need touch. Hold hands. Hugs. We need to know someone truly cares. We’re not wandering through this world as robots. We have hearts. We need each other. Love as God intended.
I know! That used to be common practice with everyone! Even Doctors would 't tell patients if they were terminal because "it would just upset them right now!"
Seems like you have truly found your calling, Julie. You are such a great hospice nurse, and I am sure you are a blessing to so many of your patients and their families. I worked as a home hospice RN/Care Manager for a year. It was so gratifying, yet so emotionally draining for me. I wish I could have handled it better than I did. I so admire you and appreciate your videos. ❤️
What I found so upsetting when my mom was in the hospital dying was that nobody told me that that was what was happening. I'd signed a DNR already because she was in such bad shape and had been that way for some time but the staff spoke to me as if she was expected to get up and walk out of the hospital. Not even I believed that. I would have appreciated some honesty from the medical staff. I guess that's what sets hospice care apart. I wish I'd had time to have her transferred to hospice care before she died.
I had a similar experience with my father. He was in the emergency room in pain and on morphine, but I didn't understand how serious his condition was. No one explained that to me. I left the hospital to get some books for one of the classes I was taking. I was gone about an hour, and when I came back he was having some imaging done. The nurses said he had asked for me. Then I hear a code blue in the department where he was getting his imaging done. I knew immediately that it was him. His doctor came and found me and asked if I wanted them to implement extraordinary measures. I knew what my father wanted, so I told him, "No.". I was alone and had to make that decision by myself. I felt so guilty for not being there when he asked for me. I felt like I deserted him, and I still feel that way. If I'd known how seriously ill he was, I would have stayed at the hospital, I would have been there when he asked for me.
@@cremebrulee4759 Please try and let go of that guilt. None of it was your fault. You had no way of knowing how serious the situation was because nobody told you. It was the medical staff's failing, not yours.
Tara, everyone just does the best they can. That includes the regular nursing staff. Usually they have multiple patients and patient families with whom to interact on a given workday.They have little knowledge about your actual relationship with the patient, even if the patient and family member are mother and daughter. They have no idea if you have accepted that the days are numbered . It’s a mine field of emotions to deal with on both sides. As a retired bedside nurse, I can tell you it’s difficult to figure out what approach to take with families of dying patients.
@@Tara........ Placing blame on others. Did Crème Brûlée ask about the severity of his condition before she left for the bookstore? If so, the man may have been considered not critical at that time. Sadly, things can change in an instant in an ER setting. Waiting through the miserably slow process of the ER is very, very hard on the ones waiting for answers about their loved ones.
Absent from the body, present with the Lord… 2 Corinthians 5:8 - we are [as I was saying] of good courage and confident hope, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.
I have read that. And like all people of Faith I have questions. But I figure I will ask when I get to Heaven or, most probably, the question itself won't matter anymore. That verse reminds me of the question that I have. It's one of those when I get to where I am going, it won't matter anymore. 🙂
If you are a true Christian and know Christ as your redeemer, you can have absolute confidence that you will see God. Job 19:26. Though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.
Thank you to all three of you for sharing the Truth✝️🙌🏻📖 Hebrews 11:1 I especially like the Amplified version. Looking forward to meeting you on the other side brothers and sisters
Having & accepting Jesus as our Lord & Saviour & enjoying a daily walk is our only assurance of Heaven. Heaven is our eternal home then -Thankfully! 💖👏💖👏
It's trusting in the unknown that makes magic happen. That is what I have been realizing in other ways as of late. And this really hit home. Filled me with tears for some..unknown reason. Thank you Julie. We are all just walking each other home.
Julie, you said something important that I've come to understand as I live more years: I don't have to fill the silence so the other person will like me or be impressed by me. It's a hugely freeing realization. Granted, sometimes I'm better at embracing the silence than other times but that's okay; that's another of my goals: embrace the joy of being imperfect. I appreciate your authenticity, warmth.and knowledge Great job! 😘
Love your content, Julie. I work in hospice as well and we have a saying "WAIST" It stands for Why Am I Still Talking? Sometimes people just need someone beside them and no words are necessary!
Lost my sister to cancer nearly 4 years ago. I wish she had a wonderful nurse like you. I wish I had a wonderful nurse like you to talk with and give advice on the best way to care for my sister.
Julie I’ve been watching you since my parents were both put on hospice 4months ago. My mom passed on the 1st of this month and my dad just yesterday on the 19th. My heart hurts but we were prepared….they both were at home surrounded by family. ❤ thank you for all teachable moments.
Nothing is more important then being told the "truth" no matter how hard at times this could be, and that makes me happy 😁 just listening to your story. Sweet just magnificently sweet 😥😘
You have so much wisdom. To know when ‘not’ to talk. When to be silent is just so respectful. And ‘dying’ is no small subject. To feel the awkwardness. To feel the pain of silence. The joy of laughter. That is life. You are awesome Julie + so special to us. 😌❤️
I have found, people who are dying, sometimes want to talk about it, not be told 'no you aren't dying, or let's talk about something else.' I spent hours silent listening to music at my husband's bedside, we talked when he wanted, cried, prayed, took comfort in each other.
Julie, you’re so real. That’s what make you the wonderful nurse that you are. The only reason I believe what I do is because my mother ingrained in me from the age of 5 of her own NDE when she was 10. She told me her story at least once a week of my whole life, until she died. I believed my mom 100%, because it was so profound to her. But, at the end of the day, does everyone really know? Maybe not for the mass as a whole. Faith in our father is just that, faith. I, personally, know there is something beyond this existence cuz my mommy told me so, and my mommy was the most honest person I’ve ever met in my life. God Bless you Julie. You’re 1 hell of a great nurse!!
I wish I had you/your channel when my parents were in their last days. I would’ve understood things so much better and been able to cope better. Thank you so much for what you do and the light you shine!
Thank you Julie for being so forthcoming. I loved my hospice experience for my husband, only positive. But education is the key. You are doing a fabulous job.
Authenticity. It's a treasure! What a gift you gave in that moment, the safety she needed to trust you. To just be there with someone, that's really precious. 💕 Thanks for sharing this, Julie!
Hi Julie! I'm so glad you are sharing about death and dying. I graduated from Duquesne University in 1974. At that time we were one of the nursing pioneers in this area. Not only did it give us knowledge of this subject but it gave us the opportunity to practice this fine art of walking the path with our patients. My greatest regret is that we did not have the time to really practice. At least now there are specialists like you who can really help patients and their families. Keep up your good work. It is so needed! Vicki Scott RN - retired.
You are so normal in the best sense of the word. I appreciate you sharing your stories and can relate to many of your experiences with my late mother when she passed. Thanks Julie.
You’re such a wonderful person! I can only hope for a nurse like you when my time comes. I’m only 42 but after my father’s suicide, I started thinking about death a lot.
What an awesome story! Thank you for educating us. I have learned a lot since following you and have let go of some of the fear I have of dying and of the questions I had watching a loved one die.
You were absolutely born for this kind of work. In no way can I begin to imagine a more effective or authentic way for you to have dealt with this event. You are just an amazing person, Julie. I'm so glad I found your channel. ❤
Julie, you are the most beautiful person inside and out. You most definitely chose the correct career. It is your calling and you do it with such grace and dignity. You have made such a positive difference in so many lives. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to share with us what you have experienced. It is a hard subject for most to talk about. But so important that we do. Your videos answer so many questions we so often have. Thank you for educating us. Julie, I hope you know how truly special you are. I don’t know you except from these videos but I can honestly say that I do love you. Thank you 🙏 for being you. ❤❤❤😊
If I was in her shoes when hospice came to sign me up, it would scare me into silence, too. It's a transition moment and she has turned a corner in life. Accepting that can be such a scary moment in time that actually freezes time. It sounds like you're conveyance of reality brought her out of her box of (all I can think of is terror), knowing everything is rapidly changing for good. Sorry for the rant. I was inside my head trying to experience the reason she wasn't responding. Thanks for your goodness, kindness, and patience with her. You are so passionate about your work. Thank you. 👍
My wife and I visited a childhood friend of mine while she was terminally ill with breast cancer at 47. We knew enough to just “be there” with her. Later on, a psychic told me that we were one of the few people that did not try to give her false hope of try to change her in any way, and my friend appreciated that greatly. I credit my decades in recovery for “instinctively knowing what to do in situations that used to baffle us”.
You are an amazing human, Julie. In this specif moment of history I am ashamed to be a human, but you are one of the few that make me feel better. Thank you ❤
It was just me and mom together when she passed. She got to be in her own home. I came over twice a day, towards the end 4 times. Then I knew to sleep over, she would be in and out of sleep. She would ask me, why are you here. I'm just going to stay with you. Oh ok. She had another stroke in the morning and it was just an honor and scary to be with someone when they take their last breath.
I, too was a hospice RN for six years at the end of my nursing career. It is a stressful but very gratifying job. I always considered it very personal and private. Between the pt., family and myself.
Thank you for putting these bits out for us to help us understand better how to move through the process with our loved ones. I brought both my parents home at different points in time to “pass” in their homes. There is so much I didn’t know and I sure wish I had seen your vids before I ever had to deal with them both. I go over and over how I could have done it better wonder if I actually would have? What you say helps to resolve questions I still have. You’re an Angel among us. 🥰❤️
Whoever commented using Nouwen’s quote has struck an important chord with me. I am both a doctor & close friend to a nurse who is close to hospice care now. At times I struggle with which “hat” to wear when I visit so now I know that I can simply be another human in her journey to that better place we all hope for.
BLESS YOUR HEART ❤ YES, JUST BEING THERE & BEING HER FRIEND MEANS SO MUCH. TRUST ME. I'M SURE YOU ARE A WONDERFUL & COMPASSIONATE DOCTOR AS WELL. GOD BLESS YOUR NURSE FRIEND AS WELL. MAY SHE HAVE PEACE 🕊❤
As an ER nurse for 27 years, I thank God there are nurses that can do what you do. I’ve seen a lot of death, but it’s never a process for us to go through…. It is acute , tragic and heartbreaking for the families.
I've seen both types of deaths, and by far, if I could choose my own ending, it would a quick acute death. The long drawn out cancer deaths are not only terrible for the person going through them, but also for the family as we watch our loved one slowly slipping away and going through so much needless pain and suffering. Long after they have said their goodbyes, they're still suffering, for weeks or months of agony. With an acute death, they may not get a chance to say goodbye, but at least we know they didn't suffer long. And what's more, we know they did not have to spend months thinking about their coming death and dreading it and what lead up to it. I think that might even be worse than the physical pain.
I am a caregiver to a client who is in the process of dying. Your videos educating us all on the process are invaluable. Thank you for your guidance, Julie. ❤
Thank you, thank you for being a hospice nurse who has a presence on CZcams. Over this past Thanksgiving I just helped my MIL with Alzheimer finally pass on after living with us and being her caretakers for nearly 8 years. Though not the first relative I had pass, I had never seen active dying before. Her active phase lasted 10 days. Besides being overwhelming with a cacophony of emotions both expressed and suppressed, the process was curious, peaceful, humbling, and almost, dare I say, magical. I'm still processing it, I'm sure. And though we saw and became friends with the many nurses who visited while MIL was on hospice for her final 10 months, there was one who reminded me so much of you in her appearance, mannerisms, conversation, and perspective. She was my best friend for that season. You are truly a hero. 💖
I feel so blessed Julie to have you in my digital life 🙏❤️🌷 Just imagine every one of us having some one like you in our real life when it is time to leave this earth. Such a gift that would be.
Thank you, nurse Julie. Your videos have been so helpful at the most opportune time. My father in law just passed away earlier this month, my mother-in-law is just going into hospice and I'm the main caregiver for my 90 yo father. I so wish I had seen your videos before my mom passed. It would've been so comforting, but we didn't know what to expect and it was traumatic. I'm so grateful for you being honest and transparent about death and dying. I'd hug you if I could!
I would think young lady that you would be in such high demand. I don't know how there aren't people just waiting to have you with them when they die. I know I'd sign up. Many blessings on you sweetheart.
The truth is always the best answer. It truly is freeing. God bless you, Julie. My FIL passed away today. Hospice started only yesterday. But your videos really helped all of us better understand what was happening and what would happen. That gave us all peace. You are a blessing. Thank you.
God was showing off when you were made. I am a volunteer with City Mission Hospice Care. I sit with the family member so the entire family can sleep, I read to my clients the books that they enjoyed when they were children. This is such a small thing for me what I find funny is the families are out in the corridor listening to our words and banter. I also do foot and hand massage. Bless Nurses in the world doing God's work.
I always wondered how you guys answered this question to your patients who are dying. I mean, what can you say? Bon voyage? I think you handled that situation the best you could given the circumstances.
God bless you, Julie. I love what you said about "meeting them where they are." At times, we must dwell in our discomfort in order to process life's events. Dwelling in our discomfort isn't something we like to do, but such moments are often among the most instructive in our lives.
JULIE, YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING HON! THIS IS GREAT TO LET US KNOW THAT IT'S OKAY TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. I BELIEVE A LOT OF FEAR OF DEATH COMES FROM THE UNKNOWN. YOU HELP SO MANY OF US JUST BY TALKING ABOUT IT. IT HELPS TO PREPARE & KNOW. EVEN THE BASICS. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PATIENT PASSING. I WORKED IN A NURSING HOME, I WAS 16. MISS FAYE WAS MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR. THEY HAD JUST TRANSFERRED HER BACK TO OUR TOWN THE DAY BEFORE. MY DAY BACK ON SHIFT, MY HEAD NURSE TELLING ME MISS FAYE LIKELY WOULDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. NO FAMILY WAS WITH HER, EVEN THOUGH THEY LIVED IN TOWN. IT WAS MY DINNER BREAK, MISS FAYE WAS HAVING AGONAL BREATHING. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HER ALONE. I HELD HER HAND & TALKED SOOTHINGLY TO HER. I WASN'T AFRAID. SHE TOOK HER LAST BREATH, THEN IT WAS OVER. SHE WENT RATHER PEACEFULLY. SHE WAS SUCH A SWEET WOMAN. SHE USED TO FEED OUR CAT 🐈 HE WOULD RUN AWAY TO MISS FAYE'S FOR DAYS AT A TIME. LOL 😂 COME BACK ALL FAT & SPOILED. SHE WAS A PEACH. SO IT WAS AN HONOR TO BE WITH HER IN DEATH. THEN I WENT & GOT MY HEAD NURSE JEANETTE TO COME GET MISS FAYE READY FOR THE FUNERAL HOME MEN. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU MISS FAYE. GOD BLESS YOU, REST IN PEACE 🕊❤
When my first son was born 21 years ago I sent 100 invites to mostly family but several close friends… now these many years later as a widowed mother of four 21-4 years old whom has lost all family & almost all friends in the last 7 years.. your perspective is the most honest representation of what, after much research & experience, I believe to b the truth.. As Someone whom has always been interested in hospice & hospice counseling, your truth gives me the courage to move past my own pain & loss to assist others through this unique experience w love & light w information & understanding.. respectfully ask u where u believe Currently where u would begin training
Thank you for all that you do for humanity. I'm a cranky old man and I cried a little bit. ") A very close friend of mine has cancer and it's not looking good. I don't want to bother them (she and her husband) so I have been sitting back and waiting. I just found out that she was in the ER this morning with a bad reaction to the pain opioids. Thanks for your help.
When my dad was terminal, some of my coworkers knew about his situation. It would really upset me when they would ask what I was going to do or what I did on the weekend. I mean, I spent all my time sitting with my dad or helping my mom.
Shortly before my dad died, our family was at his bedside telling stories about our childhood. In our reminiscences I looked at my dad and he had a smile on his face. That to me was the best gift we gave him before his journey.
I got careless phone calls from Christian friends like about my stage 4cancer, "How much time did they give you?!" However, the Lord spoke an amazing message to me after my first all-day chemo and hours of vomiting: My promise to you--you will either awake on this earth or you will awake in My New Heaven--I promise you a Tomorrow!" Over the past 15 years still surviving terminal cancer, I have been able to share my story with many Christians, but it isn't a pat answer for all; I 'love' many thru their cancer journey with few or no special words. Thanks Julie for this video and God's blessings for all you mean to the dying! Sandy
Julie, I too am a Christian! As a matter of fact my deceased husband and I served as Pastors and he was an Elder at church. When my husband was in his final weeks, he talked about our pastors we ho had already gone on to Glory with Jesus, we talked about how how tired he was & wanted to go on home. I wasnt sure which home? Ours or with Jesus? He nodded yes...with Jesus. I told him hed be taking my whole broken 💔 heart with him. He ag is in nodded yes. I told him I loved him very much and he mouthed in a low whisper I love you too😭❤. I started tearing us as did he & he ty old me not to cry because it made him sad. I wiped his tear and wiped my tears too with the same tissue. I then started to tell him about all the beautiful things we knew about how Paradise will be like. He nodded ye, and told me "ok, ok...don't add to it...I suppose because we dont really truly know until we get there. We prayed the sinners prayer and The Our Father & started singing "Jesus Lover of my Soul". Then he sang "Yes Jesus Loves Me this I know...then stopped and started singing ... "Sweet Caroline...Pom, Pom, Pom... Good Times Never Seemed So Good!!!" It was his favorite song to sing at Karaoke nights. My name, btw my name is not Caroline. 🥰 All 5his to say is we'll find out when we get to Heaven!!!❤🙏🏼✝️
I’ve been a caregiver for many people on Hospice. I think this is the best advice Julie! Sometimes being company to someone and not filling the air with chatter is a gift. Also if you’re kindly honest your patient may feel more comfortable talking about what they’re going through. This means we can offer better help sometimes ❤
@@rogervonita I talk to them, in normal conversational tones, no whispering, and encourage family members to do so. I also assure the DP that we are all OK now, everything is taken care of. Also give permission to go and offer privacy to do so. Its a very intimate moment, like childbirth, and few want everyone hovering about, waiting for the last breath. So unnerving! And remember to check your “Appropriateness Meter” before operating mouth.
I am 72 and I mean to say everything to you in the best and most sincere way I know how, so here goes. From the bottom of my heart, "Thank you."
Love your videos thank you for all your advice
Sweet and beautiful, together💞
I want to say thank you very much 💚
I’m a retired Pastor and I worked for a time as a Hospice Chaplain. Sometimes the best thing we can say is nothing at all.🤔
@@gregorycarlson6632 Good on "you."
“We are all just walking each other home “ ~ Ram Dass~
Julie you are a beautiful soul and literally walking people home!♥️🙏🏼
THANK YOU. I knew I had heard this beautiful statement and realized I didn't credit the author but could not remember where I heard it. I do so love it.
@@robasiansensation3118 I love that quote too. Thanks for the reminder!
I LOVE that quote, found it the other day. Many African Americans call a funeral a "Homecoming", which I find beautiful. Sister's Day was recent, and I used Ram Dass' quote to thank all the women in my life that walked with me. Some stay but most leave, most stay for a moment or an hour, but if I have 1 or 2 at the end, I won't be afraid to start over one more time. Peace.
love this book on death and dying
This quote is so true and beautiful
I remember Elisabeth Kübler Ross saying that those near death are sensitive to insincerity. So, important to be real with them, authentic, sincere. Love your channel! 💛🙏🏽
Their BS meter is very sensitive.
As a near-death experiencer myself, it is bothersome when people are insincere and now that I have studied psychopathy extensively for the last seven years and having 56 years of experience living with those type of people finally now I am easy to pick up on those who are not sincere even if they're feigning it.
I'd be as sincere as possible..... "It’s *GAME OVER* pal!
same applies for those near life. Only those far from life doesn't care.
Many years ago, I visited my uncle who told me he was not long was for this world. I to,d him that he should hold his head up proud! He lived a great life! Fought for his country I. wW2, earned a Purple Heart. Raised two fine children who were doing very well, upstanding citizens, married the prettiest girl in Crew VA, and lived a good Christian life. He should hold his head up and go into the next world knowing he made the best of his life! He really did seem to appreciate me saying those things, they were all true. He died two days later.
When my mom was in the worst pain ever during her last months she asked out loudly "will it ever get better?" and she looked at me. I wanted to comfort her so bad and say "yes, everything will be just fine" but I couldn't. My heart sank. I knew she wasn't going to get better, I knew she will die in a few months at best. And I just said "mom, I don't know, we gotta deal with what we've got in this moment, so you're not in pain". It was heartbreaking 😢
I think you said exactly the right thing.
I say loudly, yes it will, or at least I think so. I have seen such miracles in my lifetime! Why would I think it would be different during my death?
The sad but beautiful thing is we all get better when we arrive back home 🙏
Your comments on the way that your body dies. The stages of death. My family just experienced my mother in hospice care. Your knowledge of the events were exactly what happened in our case. You could not have been any more right. You learned a lot from dealing with people who are passing on. Keep up the great work you are doing. My comments are from other videos you have posted about the process of passing on
you have never seen a miracle......
I am a retired NP. Many years ago I did a two day course on death and dying. I worked in ICU at the time. It was a topic that was never presented in my past education in such a way that enabled me to better respond to my patient’s needs in this context. Your practice is quite unique and I have enjoyed your presentations. Soldier on dear colleague, and I can assure you that your insight and approach to death and dying is worth sharing. Hugs!
My mom is dying. Every time I go to see her I don’t know what to say to her. This all happened so fast. One day she was herself the next she was dying and very different. I started watching your videos about 2 months ago. No reason, just started watching them. I’ve learned a lot and I see the different ways she acts now in her face features and other things. Not wanting to eat or drink anything. I just want her to be at peace and happy before she leaves us. I lost dad in 2000 to a freak accident and now watching mom be like this is harder than losing dad. Thank you for taking the time to do these videos. They have helped and educated me on what to expect. God bless you Julie .
If you have patience and understanding as your foundation then the right words will come at the right time.
You should make sure that you carry no resentment towards your mom whatsoever.
This is the only way that, after she goes on, you can live your life having no burden of guilt or regrets.
, read the things Jesus said , build up your faith , tell your mother you love her , tell her God loves... HER....Build up your faith just start speaking it, it will come to you ... I went through the same thing with my sister she died at 42 and she said Linda I'm scared to die. And can you believe it , I did not know what to say I cannot believe that I am so ashamed of myself don't do what I did, GOD BLESS YOU.
Be with your mom all you can she needs you and will know you are there. Praying for you. You need to be with your mom during this difficult time God will help you through this. And when she can't talk still talk to her hold her hand praying for you 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
We don’t have to know what to say. We don’t have to read the Bible or know answers to all the questions. A loving presence is all that matters.
Just keep telling her you love her and she was a great mother. Talk about happy memories and how you are glad to be spending time with her now.
Yes Julie. And these quotes:
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."
- Henri J.M. Nouwen
“Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention...
A loving silence often has far more power to heal... than the most well-intentioned words."
- Rachel Naomi
Beautiful honest quotes thank you for sharing them
@@josephchirco4922 Thanks Joseph. At 66, I’ve seen so many close friends pass from cancer.
Lovely lesson. I was able to sing my mother home. We loved singing hymns together at the piano. So, even tho she was unresponsive and didn’t open her eyes her last day- sitting with her thru song comforted both of us. I am forever grateful to have shared our hymns - one last time.
Such a beautiful and cherished way to say goodbye!
My grandma and I sang the night before she died. Was a gift sharing that time with her.
Thank u nurse Julie, I have a brother that was giving 2 months to live. He’s on Hospice, but is still living at his house. Thiers no chance for him to do any treatments, He’s 69 and weighs about 90 lbs now .He knows he’s dying , and what I was wondering ( and my sister too) is that we really don’t know what to say to him, when we go visit. Thank You for all the info you have given all your followers!!!!
I will be going into hospice soon and let me tell you, your brother doesn’t know what to say either. Sometimes there are feelings bigger than words. And on the flip side, illness and mortality can be so boring. Your life shrinks to a little room and all anyone wants to talk to you about is urine output and medication changes. Give him space to be quiet and present, but you may have to do some of the conversational heavy lifting if he is unable to.
1. Keep telling him about your life and your family, share good news! People think it’s rude, like your loved one is going to say, I’ve got cancer and you want me to celebrate your daughter’s promotion to assistant manager?! But, honestly, we do. We want to hear everything.
2. If there isn’t news, perhaps talk about your favourite childhood memories. There should be more laughter at this time, as well as tears. Do you remember when…?
3. If there’s anything you haven’t said to him yet, now is the time. Don’t save it for the eulogy. I know that’s hard, I’m from a family that doesn’t communicate our emotions well - we just don’t talk about our feelings. Perhaps have a think about these questions and see if anything comes up?
My favourite memory of you as a child was when…
When we were growing up, you always made me feel…
I never told you, but when you did X] for me, I felt [Y]
Did you know that everyone describes you as [X]?
This song will always remind me of you, here’s why…
Lastly, bless you for being there, even when it’s hard and awkward. Your brother appreciates it more than you know.
@@kitm141 Thank you!!
When I would go see my daddy before he died I would ask him about things that happened in his life. He was born in 1913 so saw all the modern things we have now. One time I saw a 1923 Chevrolet truck, not sure what the correct name was tt or aa. It was heavier than a pickup of the day. He said "I remember when that was the latest thing". He told me about wiring the house and barn for electricity when they were building the power line to the farm. I pulled out my cellphone one time and he said we never had those things when we were little. I reminded him that I didn't either. We had a land line that was a party line and my great aunt ran the switch board. So ask about the things they remember and make videos or audio recordings at least so you have the memories saved. My dad passed in 2020 and there are still times I want to ask him about things that happened in the family. My dad survived double pneumonia when he was 105 and 5 months old. He was put on hospice because he didn't recover as quickly as they thought he would. But tell me what is the usual expected recovery time for a 105 + year old man when he was beyond his life expectancy? He recovered well enough they took him off hospice " because of continued prognosis " and he lived another 1 + 1/2 years. He was cognizant until he died.
@@kitm141Thank you so much for your guidance. My brother is in hospice and in nearing his last days (pancreatic cancer).
@Kit M what a lovely, thoughtful post. Thank you for these suggestions. We will all have a final day, and some get to spend meaningful time with loved ones. I miss my mom so much. She died in April of 2017 and I think of her every single day and wish I had the chance to talk to her and hug her. I wish you peace and happiness.
That's so beautiful! When our mother was dying, my sister asked me how I could be so "strong" because she never knows what to say or do. I told her that I'm not strong. I don't know what to say either, but what helps is understanding that no one knows, so you just be honest, and let others feel their feelings. Laugh with them, cry with them, but mostly allow them to feel angry or sad or frightened. It's all ok. It's not strength. I think Bob Marley said "you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." Honesty is strength. "I don't know," can be comforting - it's honest AF, and that, in itself helps imo anyway. ❤
@Dawn I wish I could copy your words. I would rather hear I don't know, than be lied too.
@@debbie4503 me too!
😢 heart breaking at times. But we all has that day, where we have no answers. Just d moment ❤
7
I want to say thank you to all of the hospice nurses! When my dad passed the nurse that helped our family was a gift. She didn't just help my dad, she helped me care for him. She was so comforting and it was greatly appreciated .
I wish I could say the same about the hospice nurse assigned to my mother…she was anything but helpful. It was the weekend emergency hospice nurse I had to call the night before my mother died that actually took the time to teach me how to take care of my mother…a little late. I remember my mother had questions & was explaining how she was breathing & all the assigned nurse had to say was “well, it’s only going to get worse.” How that was helpful was beyond me. I “shared” it all the nurse that came after mother passed. I won’t be calling on that particular hospice group again.
@@lindylou3519 I'm so sorry that happened to you and your mom.
I love that you were able to sit in the uncomfortable silence. It is so hard to do. I'm like you where I want to make them feel better, but I can't fix anything but me. I so appreciate you speaking about this. It reminds me to sit in the slience, be with that feeling... Each person has their own journey.. Thank you, you are such a blessing to me...
It helped me to stop thinking about "making them feel better" and start thinking I wanted to help them be comfortable. Both mentally and physically. Whatever that entailed. ❣
Last month I was with my in-laws for the last six weeks of Dad's life. He didn't accept that he was dying until a week before he did, but those final days with the help of hospice made such a difference!
Before that last week, he ran me ragged, calling for me all hours of the day and night. He didn't express fear in words, but he needed to know someone was there to help, who would stay to help his wife after he was gone. The simple act of being present was everything to him. Lots of changes brought confusion to their home (Mom has dementia, and we learned how well he covered for her.) All I could repeat to them was that they wouldn't be left alone, and they are both so loved. What a privilege it is, to be the reassurance for someone that they're not alone 💜
I have a morbid curiosity about death, always have. Your videos are so authentic and educational.
My grandfather said he was not afraid of death; he was afraid of dying. There is a difference. Thank you, Nurse Julie.
It makes me sad that you feel being curious about death is being morbid, after all it is a life stage just like being born.
As I said before, Jennifer’ there is nothing morbid about it, if we’re all honest, everyone is curious of things mortuary. ANd, MsMoe, Woody Allen “I’m not afraid of death, I just didn’t want to be there when it happened..”
My mom is in hospice now. Thank u for ur videos. It's helped me alot to know what to expect.
'The truth will set you free' is a line straight out of the Bible, from Jesus himself. And it does. Thank you for this story.
The Bible also says "that you may KNOW that you have eternal life" She said she is a Christian. She should know. John 3:16, 17
Preach it! I love how you quoted Jesus in the context of the question, "Will I see God?" Jesus said, "The Truth will set you free." Amen!
Amen!!!!! ❤
Wonder
.....yes Amen
Amen! 😢
Memories. In my grams last moments she still grinned and had twinkles in her eyes. What a graceful and peaceful passing. I swear she waited for my gramps birthday, on Oct 17.
Thank you for this. I love your posts. I had to let me grandson go when he was only 28 years old from pancreatic cancer with only 10 months notice. We had such a close relationship and one thing he cherished and honored about me is that I was always truthful, honest and I talked straight from the hip. He didn't like sugar coating anything. We were able to say everything to each other that needed said or was felt. I also lost my 1st mother in law to lung cancer. We only 3 more months after her diagnosis. I absolutely hated that the family insisted that no one ever talk to her about her dying. She was frightened. I saw it in her face. She wanted to talk about it, to be hugged, to be loved, but no emotions were allowed to be shown in front of her because this was a very cold and unemotionally driven family. Never once did I see anyone hug each other. I always did with both of my in-laws because that is who I was and they never had a problem with it. She loved her hugs. So much was left unsaid. I beg people to please don't do that. Let them express themselves and you show your love and connection with them. They want to say goodbye just as much as you do. Don't let closed minded controlling people tell you not to say "I love you and will miss you".
We need touch. Hold hands. Hugs. We need to know someone truly cares. We’re not wandering through this world as robots. We have hearts. We need each other. Love as God intended.
I know! That used to be common practice with everyone! Even Doctors would 't tell patients if they were terminal because "it would just upset them right now!"
REFRESHING TO HEAR FROM A BEAUTIFUL EDUCATED YOUNG WOMAN "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE"!
Seems like you have truly found your calling, Julie. You are such a great hospice nurse, and I am sure you are a blessing to so many of your patients and their families. I worked as a home hospice RN/Care Manager for a year. It was so gratifying, yet so emotionally draining for me. I wish I could have handled it better than I did. I so admire you and appreciate your videos. ❤️
What I found so upsetting when my mom was in the hospital dying was that nobody told me that that was what was happening. I'd signed a DNR already because she was in such bad shape and had been that way for some time but the staff spoke to me as if she was expected to get up and walk out of the hospital. Not even I believed that. I would have appreciated some honesty from the medical staff. I guess that's what sets hospice care apart. I wish I'd had time to have her transferred to hospice care before she died.
I had a similar experience with my father. He was in the emergency room in pain and on morphine, but I didn't understand how serious his condition was. No one explained that to me. I left the hospital to get some books for one of the classes I was taking. I was gone about an hour, and when I came back he was having some imaging done. The nurses said he had asked for me. Then I hear a code blue in the department where he was getting his imaging done. I knew immediately that it was him. His doctor came and found me and asked if I wanted them to implement extraordinary measures. I knew what my father wanted, so I told him, "No.". I was alone and had to make that decision by myself. I felt so guilty for not being there when he asked for me. I felt like I deserted him, and I still feel that way. If I'd known how seriously ill he was, I would have stayed at the hospital, I would have been there when he asked for me.
@@cremebrulee4759 Please try and let go of that guilt. None of it was your fault. You had no way of knowing how serious the situation was because nobody told you. It was the medical staff's failing, not yours.
Tara, everyone just does the best they can. That includes the regular nursing staff. Usually they have multiple patients and patient families with whom to interact on a given workday.They have little knowledge about your actual relationship with the patient, even if the patient and family member are mother and daughter. They have no idea if you have accepted that the days are numbered . It’s a mine field of emotions to deal with on both sides. As a retired bedside nurse, I can tell you it’s difficult to figure out what approach to take with families of dying patients.
@@Tara........ Placing blame on others. Did Crème Brûlée ask about the severity of his condition before she left for the bookstore? If so, the man may have been considered not critical at that time. Sadly, things can change in an instant in an ER setting. Waiting through the miserably slow process of the ER is very, very hard on the ones waiting for answers about their loved ones.
Being present is often the best gift we can give. You did it beautifully in this circumstance. Thank you for the ease you bring to your patients.
Absent from the body, present with the Lord…
2 Corinthians 5:8 - we are [as I was saying] of good courage and confident hope, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.
I have read that. And like all people of Faith I have questions. But I figure I will ask when I get to Heaven or, most probably, the question itself won't matter anymore. That verse reminds me of the question that I have. It's one of those when I get to where I am going, it won't matter anymore. 🙂
If you are a true Christian and know Christ as your redeemer, you can have absolute confidence that you will see God. Job 19:26. Though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.
Thank you to all three of you for sharing the Truth✝️🙌🏻📖 Hebrews 11:1 I especially like the Amplified version. Looking forward to meeting you on the other side brothers and sisters
Having & accepting Jesus as our Lord & Saviour & enjoying a daily walk is our only assurance of Heaven.
Heaven is our eternal home then -Thankfully! 💖👏💖👏
❤ Tyfs
It's trusting in the unknown that makes magic happen. That is what I have been realizing in other ways as of late. And this really hit home. Filled me with tears for some..unknown reason. Thank you Julie. We are all just walking each other home.
Walking each other home. I love that! I really do. I will remember it and use it.
@@JamesSims Me too!
Same here! A lovely phrase.
What a beautiful phrase
Julie, you said something important that I've come to understand as I live more years: I don't have to fill the silence so the other person will like me or be impressed by me. It's a hugely freeing realization. Granted, sometimes I'm better at embracing the silence than other times but that's okay; that's another of my goals: embrace the joy of being imperfect. I appreciate your authenticity, warmth.and knowledge Great job! 😘
Love your content, Julie. I work in hospice as well and we have a saying "WAIST" It stands for Why Am I Still Talking? Sometimes people just need someone beside them and no words are necessary!
Wow!! I tend to chatter away and this hits home. Let the other person get a chance to talk.
Lost my sister to cancer nearly 4 years ago.
I wish she had a wonderful nurse like you. I wish I had a wonderful nurse like you to talk with and give advice on the best way to care for my sister.
Julie I’ve been watching you since my parents were both put on hospice 4months ago. My mom passed on the 1st of this month and my dad just yesterday on the 19th. My heart hurts but we were prepared….they both were at home surrounded by family. ❤ thank you for all teachable moments.
I respect you for your honesty, your compassion, your being yourself.
Nothing is more important then being told the "truth" no matter how hard at times this could be, and that makes me happy 😁 just listening to your story. Sweet just magnificently sweet 😥😘
You have so much wisdom. To know when ‘not’ to talk. When to be silent is just so respectful. And ‘dying’ is no small subject. To feel the awkwardness. To feel the pain of silence. The joy of laughter. That is life. You are awesome Julie + so special to us. 😌❤️
I have found, people who are dying, sometimes want to talk about it, not be told 'no you aren't dying, or let's talk about something else.' I spent hours silent listening to music at my husband's bedside, we talked when he wanted, cried, prayed, took comfort in each other.
Julie, you’re so real. That’s what make you the wonderful nurse that you are. The only reason I believe what I do is because my mother ingrained in me from the age of 5 of her own NDE when she was 10. She told me her story at least once a week of my whole life, until she died. I believed my mom 100%, because it was so profound to her. But, at the end of the day, does everyone really know? Maybe not for the mass as a whole. Faith in our father is just that, faith. I, personally, know there is something beyond this existence cuz my mommy told me so, and my mommy was the most honest person I’ve ever met in my life. God Bless you Julie. You’re 1 hell of a great nurse!!
I wish I had you/your channel when my parents were in their last days. I would’ve understood things so much better and been able to cope better. Thank you so much for what you do and the light you shine!
AMEN 🙏
Thank you for being here
You just have such a beautiful soul, thank you.
Thank you Julie for being so forthcoming. I loved my hospice experience for my husband, only positive. But education is the key. You are doing a fabulous job.
Authenticity. It's a treasure! What a gift you gave in that moment, the safety she needed to trust you. To just be there with someone, that's really precious. 💕 Thanks for sharing this, Julie!
Hi Julie! I'm so glad you are sharing about death and dying. I graduated from Duquesne University in 1974. At that time we were one of the nursing pioneers in this area. Not only did it give us knowledge of this subject but it gave us the opportunity to practice this fine art of walking the path with our patients. My greatest regret is that we did not have the time to really practice. At least now there are specialists like you who can really help patients and their families. Keep up your good work. It is so needed! Vicki Scott RN - retired.
You make me tear up, your honesty and compassion shows thru!!!
You are a credit to our humanity for all to see!!! Thank you!!!!
I like it very much when you share about the people you have worked with. Thank you so much.
Sometimes silence is golden, an old saying that is timeless.
You are so normal in the best sense of the word. I appreciate you sharing your stories and can relate to many of your experiences with my late mother when she passed. Thanks Julie.
You’re such a wonderful person! I can only hope for a nurse like you when my time comes. I’m only 42 but after my father’s suicide, I started thinking about death a lot.
You and your Dad are in my prayers tonight. God bless you ❤
@@Riosgirl98 thank you ❤️
What an awesome story! Thank you for educating us. I have learned a lot since following you and have let go of some of the fear I have of dying and of the questions I had watching a loved one die.
The heart of a hospice nurse is most special indeed. Thank you..
You were absolutely born for this kind of work. In no way can I begin to imagine a more effective or authentic way for you to have dealt with this event. You are just an amazing person, Julie. I'm so glad I found your channel. ❤
Julie, you are the most beautiful person inside and out. You most definitely chose the correct career. It is your calling and you do it with such grace and dignity. You have made such a positive difference in so many lives. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to share with us what you have experienced. It is a hard subject for most to talk about. But so important that we do. Your videos answer so many questions we so often have. Thank you for educating us. Julie, I hope you know how truly special you are. I don’t know you except from these videos but I can honestly say that I do love you. Thank you 🙏 for being you. ❤❤❤😊
What a wonderful statement, Treva!
If I was in her shoes when hospice came to sign me up, it would scare me into silence, too. It's a transition moment and she has turned a corner in life. Accepting that can be such a scary moment in time that actually freezes time. It sounds like you're conveyance of reality brought her out of her box of (all I can think of is terror), knowing everything is rapidly changing for good. Sorry for the rant. I was inside my head trying to experience the reason she wasn't responding.
Thanks for your goodness, kindness, and patience with her. You are so passionate about your work. Thank you. 👍
You’re the best Julie. I so appreciate your sharing such an important part of life. I’m forever grateful. Love and lite to you.
My wife and I visited a childhood friend of mine while she was terminally ill with breast cancer at 47. We knew enough to just “be there” with her. Later on, a psychic told me that we were one of the few people that did not try to give her false hope of try to change her in any way, and my friend appreciated that greatly. I credit my decades in recovery for “instinctively knowing what to do in situations that used to baffle us”.
And right there is the example of your skill acuity! You were a gift to her in that moment❤️
You are an amazing human, Julie. In this specif moment of history I am ashamed to be a human, but you are one of the few that make me feel better. Thank you ❤
Wow. This is so enlightening. You have no idea how many lives you are postitively impacting. Thank you!
This is just precious and “real”. Thanks for sharing and being so kind and gentle
I love the openness of these chats, it's comforting to listen ro
GF mom just passed. Last thing I said to her was, "I'll see you on the other side".. She passed a week later.
I think that would be comforting to hear.
It was just me and mom together when she passed. She got to be in her own home. I came over twice a day, towards the end 4 times. Then I knew to sleep over, she would be in and out of sleep. She would ask me, why are you here.
I'm just going to stay with you. Oh ok. She had another stroke in the morning and
it was just an honor and scary to be with someone when they take their last breath.
I, too was a hospice RN for six years at the end of my nursing career. It is a stressful but very gratifying job. I always considered it very personal and private. Between the pt., family and myself.
"thank you for all you gave me" to my uncle that taught me a lot and nothing is impossible
God bless nurses like you! You are a hero!
Thank you, Julie. Love you too. ❤
Thank you so much for explaining everything in a beautiful & respectful way.
We need more people like you.
God bless you 🙏
Yes, "I don't know" is the truth, and it will set you free.
Thank you for putting these bits out for us to help us understand better how to move through the process with our loved ones. I brought both my parents home at different points in time to “pass” in their homes. There is so much I didn’t know and I sure wish I had seen your vids before I ever had to deal with them both. I go over and over how I could have done it better wonder if I actually would have? What you say helps to resolve questions I still have. You’re an Angel among us. 🥰❤️
Whoever commented using Nouwen’s quote has struck an important chord with me. I am both a doctor & close friend to a nurse who is close to hospice care now. At times I struggle with which “hat” to wear when I visit so now I know that I can simply be another human in her journey to that better place we all hope for.
BLESS YOUR HEART ❤ YES, JUST BEING THERE & BEING HER FRIEND MEANS SO MUCH. TRUST ME. I'M SURE YOU ARE A WONDERFUL & COMPASSIONATE DOCTOR AS WELL. GOD BLESS YOUR NURSE FRIEND AS WELL. MAY SHE HAVE PEACE 🕊❤
And the truth shall set you free ! Thank you for posting these videos, they are a blessing🙏🏻
I love your honesty/transparency so much. Thank you for sharing this. All of your posts are beautiful.
As an ER nurse for 27 years, I thank God there are nurses that can do what you do. I’ve seen a lot of death, but it’s never a process for us to go through…. It is acute , tragic and heartbreaking for the families.
I've seen both types of deaths, and by far, if I could choose my own ending, it would a quick acute death. The long drawn out cancer deaths are not only terrible for the person going through them, but also for the family as we watch our loved one slowly slipping away and going through so much needless pain and suffering. Long after they have said their goodbyes, they're still suffering, for weeks or months of agony. With an acute death, they may not get a chance to say goodbye, but at least we know they didn't suffer long. And what's more, we know they did not have to spend months thinking about their coming death and dreading it and what lead up to it. I think that might even be worse than the physical pain.
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!!!
I feel relieve just writing ✍️ this sentence ❤️
I am a caregiver to a client who is in the process of dying. Your videos educating us all on the process are invaluable. Thank you for your guidance, Julie. ❤
Thank you, thank you for being a hospice nurse who has a presence on CZcams. Over this past Thanksgiving I just helped my MIL with Alzheimer finally pass on after living with us and being her caretakers for nearly 8 years. Though not the first relative I had pass, I had never seen active dying before. Her active phase lasted 10 days. Besides being overwhelming with a cacophony of emotions both expressed and suppressed, the process was curious, peaceful, humbling, and almost, dare I say, magical. I'm still processing it, I'm sure. And though we saw and became friends with the many nurses who visited while MIL was on hospice for her final 10 months, there was one who reminded me so much of you in her appearance, mannerisms, conversation, and perspective. She was my best friend for that season. You are truly a hero. 💖
Julie, you cannot imagine how valuable this video was for a new hospice volunteer. I consider it a gift, so thank you
Not a stitch of makeup, and you are so gorgeous and of course you have sweet soul!! Great message!!
My eldest brother has terminal cancer. He watches your channel. It helps him. And me. Thank you so much.❤
My daughter also watches your channel.☺️
Thank you so much for this beautiful human angel. I am sure you have blessed so many souls with this!
I feel so blessed Julie to have you in my digital life 🙏❤️🌷 Just imagine every one of us having some one like you in our real life when it is time to leave this earth. Such a gift that would be.
I feel comforted from these stories
I have watched many of your posts and all I can say is if I ever wind up in hospice I hope I am blessed to have you as my nurse. You are wonderful🙏😇
Thank you, nurse Julie. Your videos have been so helpful at the most opportune time. My father in law just passed away earlier this month, my mother-in-law is just going into hospice and I'm the main caregiver for my 90 yo father. I so wish I had seen your videos before my mom passed. It would've been so comforting, but we didn't know what to expect and it was traumatic. I'm so grateful for you being honest and transparent about death and dying. I'd hug you if I could!
I would think young lady that you would be in such high demand. I don't know how there aren't people just waiting to have you with them when they die. I know I'd sign up. Many blessings on you sweetheart.
The truth is always the best answer. It truly is freeing. God bless you, Julie. My FIL passed away today. Hospice started only yesterday. But your videos really helped all of us better understand what was happening and what would happen. That gave us all peace. You are a blessing. Thank you.
God was showing off when you were made.
I am a volunteer with City Mission Hospice Care.
I sit with the family member so the entire family can sleep, I read to my clients the books that they enjoyed when they were children.
This is such a small thing for me what I find funny is the families are out in the corridor listening to our words and banter.
I also do foot and hand massage.
Bless Nurses in the world doing God's work.
I always wondered how you guys answered this question to your patients who are dying. I mean, what can you say? Bon voyage? I think you handled that situation the best you could given the circumstances.
God bless you, Julie. I love what you said about "meeting them where they are." At times, we must dwell in our discomfort in order to process life's events. Dwelling in our discomfort isn't something we like to do, but such moments are often among the most instructive in our lives.
JULIE, YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING HON! THIS IS GREAT TO LET US KNOW THAT IT'S OKAY TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. I BELIEVE A LOT OF FEAR OF DEATH COMES FROM THE UNKNOWN. YOU HELP SO MANY OF US JUST BY TALKING ABOUT IT. IT HELPS TO PREPARE & KNOW. EVEN THE BASICS.
I REMEMBER MY FIRST PATIENT PASSING. I WORKED IN A NURSING HOME, I WAS 16. MISS FAYE WAS MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR. THEY HAD JUST TRANSFERRED HER BACK TO OUR TOWN THE DAY BEFORE. MY DAY BACK ON SHIFT, MY HEAD NURSE TELLING ME MISS FAYE LIKELY WOULDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. NO FAMILY WAS WITH HER, EVEN THOUGH THEY LIVED IN TOWN. IT WAS MY DINNER BREAK, MISS FAYE WAS HAVING AGONAL BREATHING. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HER ALONE. I HELD HER HAND & TALKED SOOTHINGLY TO HER. I WASN'T AFRAID. SHE TOOK HER LAST BREATH, THEN IT WAS OVER. SHE WENT RATHER PEACEFULLY. SHE WAS SUCH A SWEET WOMAN. SHE USED TO FEED OUR CAT 🐈 HE WOULD RUN AWAY TO MISS FAYE'S FOR DAYS AT A TIME. LOL 😂 COME BACK ALL FAT & SPOILED. SHE WAS A PEACH. SO IT WAS AN HONOR TO BE WITH HER IN DEATH. THEN I WENT & GOT MY HEAD NURSE JEANETTE TO COME GET MISS FAYE READY FOR THE FUNERAL HOME MEN. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU MISS FAYE. GOD BLESS YOU, REST IN PEACE 🕊❤
Thank you for these open and honest videos. They are just so needed.
Thank you Julie! The truth makes me cry too!!!
When my first son was born 21 years ago I sent 100 invites to mostly family but several close friends… now these many years later as a widowed mother of four 21-4 years old whom has lost all family & almost all friends in the last 7 years.. your perspective is the most honest representation of what, after much research & experience, I believe to b the truth.. As Someone whom has always been interested in hospice & hospice counseling, your truth gives me the courage to move past my own pain & loss to assist others through this unique experience w love & light w information & understanding..
respectfully ask u where u believe Currently where u would begin training
Thank you for all that you do for humanity. I'm a cranky old man and I cried a little bit. ")
A very close friend of mine has cancer and it's not looking good. I don't want to bother them (she and her husband) so I have been sitting back and waiting. I just found out that she was in the ER this morning with a bad reaction to the pain opioids. Thanks for your help.
You are THE MOST intuitive person I've ever heard. You just get it!!!
When my dad was terminal, some of my coworkers knew about his situation. It would really upset me when they would ask what I was going to do or what I did on the weekend. I mean, I spent all my time sitting with my dad or helping my mom.
Shortly before my dad died, our family was at his bedside telling stories about our childhood. In our reminiscences I looked at my dad and he had a smile on his face. That to me was the best gift we gave him before his journey.
Well played Nurse Julie.
Thank you for your wonderful humanity.
Always a kind and peaceful message wrapped on love. Than you ❤️❤️
We love you Julie, thank you for sharing that wonderful story ❤️
So beautiful❤ Thanks for doing what you do and sharing them with the rest of us💝
I got careless phone calls from Christian friends like about my stage 4cancer, "How much time did they give you?!" However, the Lord spoke an amazing message to me after my first all-day chemo and hours of vomiting: My promise to you--you will either awake on this earth or you will awake in My New Heaven--I promise you a Tomorrow!" Over the past 15 years still surviving terminal cancer, I have been able to share my story with many Christians, but it isn't a pat answer for all; I 'love' many thru their cancer journey with few or no special words. Thanks Julie for this video and God's blessings for all you mean to the dying! Sandy
Julie, I too am a Christian! As a matter of fact my deceased husband and I served as Pastors and he was an Elder at church.
When my husband was in his final weeks, he talked about our pastors we ho had already gone on to Glory with Jesus, we talked about how how tired he was & wanted to go on home. I wasnt sure which home? Ours or with Jesus?
He nodded yes...with Jesus.
I told him hed be taking my whole broken 💔 heart with him. He ag is in nodded yes. I told him I loved him very much and he mouthed in a low whisper I love you too😭❤.
I started tearing us as did he & he ty old me not to cry because it made him sad. I wiped his tear and wiped my tears too with the same tissue.
I then started to tell him about all the beautiful things we knew about how Paradise will be like. He nodded ye, and told me "ok, ok...don't add to it...I suppose because we dont really truly know until we get there.
We prayed the sinners prayer and The Our Father & started singing "Jesus Lover of my Soul". Then he sang "Yes Jesus Loves Me this I know...then stopped and started singing ... "Sweet Caroline...Pom, Pom, Pom... Good Times Never Seemed So Good!!!"
It was his favorite song to sing at Karaoke nights. My name, btw my name is not Caroline. 🥰
All 5his to say is we'll find out when we get to Heaven!!!❤🙏🏼✝️
I’ve been a caregiver for many people on Hospice. I think this is the best advice Julie! Sometimes being company to someone and not filling the air with chatter is a gift. Also if you’re kindly honest your patient may feel more comfortable talking about what they’re going through. This means we can offer better help sometimes ❤
There's not much you can say. As my mom became almost comatose, every day I'd just say 'are you ok' 'I love you' ...throughout the day.
Keep talking to them. Hearing is the last thing to go.
@@rogervonita I talk to them, in normal conversational tones, no whispering, and encourage family members to do so. I also assure the DP that we are all OK now, everything is taken care of. Also give permission to go and offer privacy to do so. Its a very intimate moment, like childbirth, and few want everyone hovering about, waiting for the last breath. So unnerving! And remember to check your “Appropriateness Meter” before operating mouth.
You are a very sweet, kind lady. God Bless you!