How does someone die from Dementia
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- čas přidán 20. 02. 2024
- I hope this video brings some clarity on how someone dies from dementia and how as a caregiver, what you can do.
When dealing with any medically related events or medical emergencies, please communicate with your primary health care provider.
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Hi Julie, my Mom was a stroke survivor but paralysed on her whole left side. I had promised her in my adult years that she’d never be put in a nursing hm like my Nana. I quit my job & we lived off my 401k. We managed. We had so many happy times , so many laughs. In the end she told me to call everyone. I asked for what? She said to 😊😊 never opened her eyes or spoke again. When she passed she was curled up in my arms for she needed that assurance that she could go, that Id be ok. Her last exhale blew across my face at 4;30 a.m. 12/14/01. Mortician called the next day & asked how long I had been her main caregiver, other fam members thought I was crazy taking care of her. I told him 13 mths, why? He said your mother’s body was remarkable, u did an excellent job taking care of her. A lot of love and respect u showed your Mom. I hung up & cried terribly
for the next 3 hrs. It was all with Gods guidance of teaching myself, YT videos, transferring her a dz times a day, proper diet, massage, exercises, it was my Mom. A lady that would have done the same for me and a Mom that I loved so very very much❤️
I love your dedication to your mom. My 21 year old son had traumatic brain injury, bedridden for 21 months, ventilator and vp shunt…. I was traumatized over and over again at the things that he had to go thru and injury including a huge bedsore that developed and could’ve taken his life after 3 months. I found somethings that helped get rid of that huge bedsore and couldn’t believe my eyes of the huge improvement quickly but took fighting to bring him home after 7 months away. He passed away because of catching more infections at the hospital. I look back and I am so grateful for the 24/7 care we gave him and all the help I received. Because of those natural remedies, my family and friends benefit from it now.
May God bless both of you 🙏🏾❤️🩹🙏🏾❤️🩹
To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord 🙌🏾
*I recently retired as a Caregiver
May God bless you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for your beautiful testimony.
From when I was really little, I wanted to be the daughter you are…my mom does not want that, so I will never get to be that daughter. BUT, I am that person. I know you did a lot for your mom, and she also did a lot for you to let you take care of her when she needed you. That was a blessing some never get to have, and I know you understand how much.
My mother’s experience was EXACTLY as you described in this video. Mom was born into a gene pool filled with dementia. While she was still in control she advised me to place her in a nursing home when the time came that she needed constant care. The idea of bed sores was true. She would say “my tail hurts” and both of us would laugh. On her last day she was staring up to the corner at the ceiling and said “ I see my baby. I want my baby.” I placed a teddy bear in her arms and she cradled it as a mother would. Then she had a lucid moment, called me by name, and we said goodbye. She died holding her “baby” in her arms and was very peaceful. Folks, listen to Julie. She is a blessing.
So beautiful. You have been good to your mom. Bless you, lynpenn1642. May your mother rest in peace.
What a beautiful post to share. Thank you. Until I had a close loved one die, I used to scoff at people who would say things like "a happy death." What possibly could be happy. Now I understand the concept. Your Mom had a "happy death" because of all the love you gave her. If only every dying person could see the face of love as they depart, more "happy" deaths would be a gift to so many: those who died and those who had to say goodbye. God bless you. You are a good person and a great daughter.
It reminds me a bit of what happened with my mom. I moved in with her about 3 years before she passed and brought my two cats with me. The one would always keep her company as she slept and she loved to give her treats. But eventually it got to the point where I could no longer physically care for her with my own health issues and she had to go in the hospice care. She missed my little cat so much! I found her a stuffed cat on Amazon that even had similar coloring as the real one and she kept that by her side night and day.
What baby was she seeing and wanting? Was it you?
@@squirrelattackspidy If the baby need was fulfilled with a stuffie while recognizing poster, it was probably a miscarriage or stillborn. My grandma never spoke about her stillborn baby until right before she died, we buried her next to her baby.
Women in the day were very ashamed of a miscarriage or stillbirth, we’re coming back on those times where it can be criminalized to lose a pregnancy.
Retired MD here. You are a brilliant presenter. Obviously you’re a super nurse
Okay “retired MD”. Did you understand benzodiazepine injury and antidepressant injuries? Things like chronic akathisia? I got crippled stopping a benzodiazepine. I even tapered it over a year. I got impatient and quick tapered the last 0.75mg/day in 45 days and my world has never been the same. Did you unknowingly injure anyone? Find Dr Josef Witt-Doerring Psychiatry and hear about his work tapering injured patients. Find Nicole Lamberson PA and hear about her benzodiazepine injury and her work for the film “Medicating Normal”. Find Dr. Christy Huff MD and hear about her benzodiazepine injury and her work for The Benzodiazepine Information Coalition.
Most of my worst symptoms erupted tardive 4-12 mths off. It turns out there is more than one way to simulate a dopamine blockade. Everyone thinks antipsychotics are the only thing that can cause this tardive stuff. No… find Dr. Stuart Shipko and hear about his work with tardive akathisia from antidepressants. Turns out, he’s been screaming about this harm since the late 90s. He still didn’t know about benzodiazepine injury. He was even USING benzos to treat the akathisia from the antidepressant. He also thought akathisia goes away. He’d never seen anyone suffer over 7 years. I know people suffering 7,9,15, even 27 years. I thought that I knew medications better than my doctor. I mean… maybe I DID… but I still did not understand medication harm. Neither did they and both were trained in “addiction medicine” yet they were clueless. Why I’m asking.
Well, lol u gotta have sumthin special within u, urself doc'!! Not everyday we see a retired doctor commenting on yt! U have something special you provide also--otherwise you likely wouldnt have made it to retirement😉❤️👊
Ty for ur service, u musta been sumthin
Yes from a retired Trauma Nurse too.
I can tell you not only care about your career, but every facet of it. Also, of your team. Your facility. All of it!
A unique combination of...That really good Nurse!
I want her to be my nurse. Seriously.
I will never know for sure if my Dr is a liar,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, or not. Or a quota.
My mother age 94 with dementia did stop eating or drinking and refusing meds. Hospice nurse assessed her and stated she had 5 to 10 days to live she would or could not open her eyes and slept 24/7. As a last child to see her I talked to her and she was able to squeeze my hand She tried to open her eyes but could not. She died 4 hours later and I firmly believe she waited until her last child came to say goodbye
I'm a retired hospice nurse and I have seen that happen.
That's the always way to let them go. They are waiting for someone or something that they need to let go finally ❤ seen it with many deaths even with the young with freak accidents 😢😮
My 94 year olds father passed away on May 30,24 from dementia . He had dementia for the last 5 years. My mom and I were with him during his last hour. I miss him so much.
My 91 year old mother passed away less than a week ago from dementia and her experience was exactly as you described. I was her caretaker and it broke my heart to see her declining so rapidly at the end. We were blessed to have 68 years together and she was the greatest mother and friend anyone could ask for. Thank you for posting your video as I am still grieving but your words have helped me tremendously to know I did all I could do for her as her son and caretaker. Thank you.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved and cherished Mum. Take extra special care of yourself dear.
Sorry for your loss. Strength, Peace and Healing to you and your family ❤️🙏
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and you did all you could to show your love and care for her. We lost my 94 year old dad to dementia last August and now my 90 year old mother was just diagnosed with vascular dementia. It's a terrible disease to see how they can change and decline so rapidly. My heart goes out to you and your family. May the Lord give you comfort and peace.
May you be blessed with comfort and love in this new time of your life! ❤️🙏🏾❤️
No words just God's embrace during these difficult times. ❤
My late husband had vascular dementia where the blood vessels of the brain slowly start to close up. He did exactly this...a stair step decline. Each time he lost a little more, but managed to bounce back somewhat each time...but never to the previous stair step level. He had dementia for at least 15 years, and I was his sole caregiver for the last ten years of his life...right to the very last moment. To see your loved one do this tragically slow stairstep decline is so painful Even more so for my husband. He was a world class craftsman working with his hands all his life. When he finally got to the point where his hands no longer worked as they should, it was devastating to him. He lost his joy in life, which caused even more decline. I felt fortunate to have him with me so long...because the long decline allowed me to not only show my love and devotion...but it allowed me the time to verbally express to him exactly how I felt about him. BTW, when they are unconscious and in their final days...have no doubt, they are "still in there". Never stop talking to them. As I cared for my Beau, I always talked about our times together. When I would say "I love you" his blue eyes would fly open and twinkle at me, eyebrows would flicker up and down to acknowledge he heard me, then he'd slip away into unconsciousness again. So keep talking...keep telling them that you love them. I tried to be present every single moment...however, to spare my feelings, my Beau waited until I was out of the room to cross to the other side. He always thought of me first...even in his passing. I love you Beau and I miss you every day. ❤❤❤
God bless. I was the sole caregiver of my husband from his diagnosis if early onset Alzheimer’s, to his death 8 years later. He was the smartest person I had ever met. ❤
Thank you. I'll say a prayer for your husband. It's a hell no one should have to endure..@@kbwoodcock
What a sweet, romantic story!
Your love is touching and your loss is heartbreaking, dear. I send you my wish for you to have love: to you, from yourself, and from others. You are so deserving. Your life has been almost heroic-- to help like you did is the greatest gift of love there is. I admire you even though I do not know you. Your husband still loves you and is near you, still-- and always, I'm sure of it. ♥️♥️
@@kbwoodcock my husband's Dementia seemed cruel, for the same reason: he was so intelligent and he once had been a grandmaster at chess. My heart breaks for you having to experience that. May the memories remain of how you loved him " in sickness and in health." I bet there is much to hang on to-- the rest, just let it go. I wish you time and energy to now be gentle to yourself. 💗
I’m 64, and about four years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I’ve been my 94 y/o father’s caregiver since my mother passed in 2017. My dad lost his vision due to macular degeneration as well as his hearing after my mom died which I believe contributed to the onset of Alzheimer’s. Perhaps I’m too proud to ask for help however no one in my family has ever come forward to offer help of some sort either. My dad is the sweetest person I have ever known even now with his dementia and tries hard not to be difficult for me whenever he can. I’m glad I saw this video. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge! God bless you 🙏‼️
Try nicotine. Check out Dr. Ardis.
Sometimes we don’t ask for help because we think others won’t help or we feel we can do it on our own. Perhaps your family doesn’t think you need help. You’ll be amazed if you ask for help family members step up and want to help they just need to be asked. When I finally asked for help my family all chipped in and helped with mom’s appointments.
Life is not easy. I wish you the best.
I wish you and yours the very best. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. My mom has dementia. Lots of emotions. Good video for sure.
I also take care of my mom since my three siblings work and have their own families to attend. But you better believe I ask for help when I need it or just want a little break. Please don’t feel bad about asking. You are a great daughter and your dad knows that. But you need to take care of yourself too, and I’m sure your family will be glad to help, all you need to do is ask. 🙏🏻
Aspiration pneumonia, dysphasia, heart attack. Dad passed in his sleep. Even at his worst, he was cheerful, smiled a lot, never got belligerent. He just slowly withdrew from this world into the next. RIP, Pop!
Now that’s the way to go! Well done Pop’s! 🙏
My wife just passed from Cruetzfeld Jakob Disease which is a rapid onset dementia. It was about 2 1/2 months but her last 8 days in hospice were some of the most amazing days thanks to nurses like you that care. One of the hospice nurses had worked in this for 21 years I asked her how she did this as all of her patients never have a happy ending, She looked at me and smiled and said "All of her patients have a happy ending, her job was to help them get there." Thank you for all you do.
What an amazing person!
MAD COW beef prions.
The 80s beef was a problem
I absolutely LOVE the reply the nurse had… making the last chapter of someone’s life as pleasant as possible isn’t easy, but will give us peace.
I’m sorry for your loss. My dad died of cruetzfeld Jakob disease last winter. Again, I am sorry for your loss.
My grandmother died from CJD in the 80s. They suspect she may have gotten it from some hormone shots. But they don't know I believe there are some strong regional similarities
Hi my name is Tony G 70 years old. I was diagnosed with Alshimer dementia early 2018. My first mental health person was a joke once a month for 30 minutes I moved in with my son in New York and connected with VA in Manhattan I went through a battery of tests between mental health brain specialists and primary physicians. Yes I was on the verge of going down hill. But they taught me to delay the this l was taught to change all these habits get involved in activities change my diet get physically active and most importantly attend therapy classes. I learned what causes dementia and how to push it back delay it I got involved in charity. Io work , challenge my self by learning how to get around on the capital metro train/ bus line take daily walks two or more miles a day give running a try if physically capable and got my son and daughter in law to join
Excellent! I wish u luck. God bless.
Tony G. thank you for sharing this. I pray that this activity extends your life in a very positive way.
Wow, that’s awesome! Congrats
Wow! You are a true inspiration ! I lost my mom to dementia last year, and just like the nurse here said , it was triggered by an infection, UTI , you must be in good physical shape to be able to work out ! Which is SO important ! I believe your going to beat this and live a long happy life! 😊
Hi Tony, What type of diet did you change to? What type of therapy are you doing? Thanks for sharing your story of being able to delay Alzheimer's. Take care and God bless!
My 88 year old Nana took care of her 86 year old sister who had dementia. My Nana did the best she could, and would always speak to her sister normally, even though my great Aunt would constantly repeat herself and forget what my Nana just told her minutes ago. I tell everyone that she knew her for over 80 plus years and in her own way, that was how she coped with it. I would say Nana there is no cure and she's only going to get worse. You're too old to be taking care (washing, clothing, and feeding) of her. But she said we don't put family in nursing homes they die at home. My Great Aunt passed away in 2021. Just like you said, peacefully in her sleep. What made it eerie was that, the night my Aunt went to bed , my Nana slept in the bed with her, which she hadn't before. My Nana say she woke up and realized her sister wasn't breathing. Today my Nana is 91 and is the only living sibling out of her 5 brothers and sisters.
Thank you. My mother died last year from dementia. She was almost 91. She exhibited all the behaviors you describe and it was a UTI, followed by several falls that ultimately sent her into the final stages. As we reflected on the last 10 years of her life, we realized she had most likely been experiencing dementia related memory loss for years. However, she had developed really good coping skills and continued to be self sufficient until just a couple years before she passed. I’m so proud of her for her problem solving skills. She taught me so many lessons by the way she lived her life and even taught me by the way she died. A remarkable person I was lucky to call my mother and my friend.
Kinda reminds me if my husband. He is 74 & is experiencing short term memory loss but the man can still get up, shower & dress & be on time for his fun part time job at the car auction. He also has prostate cancer. I pray that takes him before dementia. 😢
Excellent ❤
My Mother had aspiration Pneumonia thats what started the end for her
Hi Julie, I just found your videos. This really hit home with me. We learned at the end of 2021 that besides having CHF and severe kidney disease, my wife developed Alzheimer's. I had an aunt who had it for years before she died two years ago. I had been noticing that Cindy, my wife, had become increasingly forgetful. But she was only 61 at the time.
She wasn't that bad and continued living at home. Last spring, taking care of her at home became too much for me. We have been married for 40 years. She moved into a care facility in March. I struggled with the decision. But she needs someone who can help her bathe, dress, and take care of herself. It wasn't working with me trying to help her.
Cindy is very happy there now. I wasn't so sure I made the right decision for the first 2 or 3 weeks. She called me a lot those first few weeks screaming and shouting. She just wanted to come home. She doesn't like it there. Can't she just come home for the night. Things like that. I know dementia patients need their routine and we had upset her routine royally.
Now she prefers it there. If I bring her home for the day, within a few hours she is ready to go back. I've asked her several times if she wants to stay overnight. Not at all. She likes her view and her friends there. For that, I am so glad.
I do miss her through. Sometimes, I wish I could bring her home to live with me. But I know that isn't what is best for her. Her overall memory isn't bad yet. Short-term memory is not good at all. We can have the same conversation 5 times within 10 minutes. And some of her behaviors seem to have reverted to more childlike.
I apologize for my comment getting so long. It just felt nice to be able to write to someone I thought would understand. Thanks for the great video.
Miike G.
It’s wonderful you can afford for your wife to go into a facility. A lot of people can’t & have to be the caregiver.
My mom was the same at first. She held up a front for so long then it crumbled. I would call, as I'm about 10 hour drive away, and she couldn't comprehend where I was and why she was in the facility and why my dad 'didn't want her anymore', was depressed and just wanted to die. That lasted an agonizing 1 year plus. Now she doesn't remember the farm, which is good because it got sold. She doesn't remember my dad, who died 1 1/2 years ago and doesn't remember any of her kids but the big payoff is that she is now content. Gone is wanting to die, to go home, and all her agonizing tortured memories and confusion. Now she thinks she works at the care home for part of a quarter, lol. It's not funny but it is, it's just a relief to know she's not in a tortured state anymore.
@lindylou3519 There is usually some aid available to help those who can't afford it. I know that as we fall into that catagory.
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God bless you, dear.
I cared for my 86 year old Mom the last 5 years of her life. It was a slow decline and one of her doctors told me how she would die: she would lose the ability to eat and drink. I quit my job and started a business that gave me the flexibility to care for her as she always said she never wanted to go into a nursing home. And as one who has been in many of the nursing homes in my state servicing food service equipment, I was 1000% in agreement with her... you simply cannot un-see certain things. In her last few days, her food intake dropped and when I couldn't get more than a few ounces of liquid into her I called my siblings telling them to come see her now. Was very happy that she recognized my brother and called him by name. Two days later she passed in her sleep and was through with the horror called dementia. Taking care of Mom wasn't easy, but she put up with me for the first 19 years of my life so what's a mere 5 years?
God bless you and your Mom!
You’re an angel.. I care gave my father I law for 7 years .. I still mis him. I was able to record moments and would ask him about his life as a nephrology doctor. I’m glad I was able to learn some things from him.
❤
Yes I get what you're saying, I I cared for my mom for 17 years after my father died. It's not easy being a care giver when Mom had Alzheimer's but she made it to 99 years old needed to get her to 100 , but God has his plans that you have no control of. Rip mom ❤ see you again !!!
This is very similar to my Mom she just passed on 4 days ago
Declination in eating and pretty much no intake of foods or liquids and 2 days after the declination of food, she passed on
She was surrounded by us to the very end and she went peacefully
Love and hugs to you. Your Mom knows you loved her 🌺🌸🌺
My dad passed away a couple of days ago. You described exactly what happened to him. He very slowly declined and was on hospice for about 6 months. Slowly started eating less and less and drinking less to the point where about a month or so before he passed completely stopped eating, we could only get him to drink a small bottle of Boost . He slept all day only getting up and sitting on the toilet for over 30 min. He also had sundowners disease. He did pass away peacefully but he would suddenly get agitated and tried to get out of bed . It was extremely hard for us to watch our father slowly decline to a shell of a person, my 6’0 over 230 lbs father died weighing only 135 Lbs. It’s heartbreaking and I feel for anyone going through this ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤
My Mom passed away from dementia and it was horrific to witness. Just like you said, she started by forgetting things, neglecting her bills, and leaving the stove one. Then I moved her into my house to take care of her. She hit a new "normal" and she had some "ok" years here. Then she fell in the bathroom. We called the ambulance and while she was in the hospital, her organs began to shut down. This was only like 2-3 weeks...she made a rapid decline. Then we got her on hospice care and she died 2 weeks later. It was soul crushing.
Our father suffered from dementia and basically stopped eating, drinking and pulled out all of his tubes in the week before. Went to sleep and passed away after five days without saying a word.
I wouldn't call it horrific in that he eventually forgot who we were but we knew it would happen so just accepted the inevitable. The real bonus for us was one week before when visiting him and showing pictures with a lovely responses and lots of chatter, laughter, surprise etc.
The next day, he didn't know anything so we grabbed and held onto that previous day as a final wonderful memory of our dad.
My mum has dementia they said it's later stages a few years ago but she's now in a home she had a fall a few days ago she was OK and didn't need to go to hospital but now I'm worried after hearing they don't last long after a fall
@@fabianmckenna8197 this comment has me tearing up, that’s very touching
I am a caregiver for my 88 year old mother with dementia. I want to reiterate what you said about asking a caregiver how you can help. Caregiving on a full time basis is lonely. Sometimes you don't see other people for extended periods of time because you are at home with your loved one. For those people who don't know how they can help...ask the caregiver what they need. Time away from home for food shopping, haircuts, your own doctor's appointments, meeting a friend for lunch or taking a walk can do SO much for the caregiver. We need time away to clear our head. Please don't hesitate to ask. I'm not the type to ask for assistance, but if someone asked me what I needed I would tell them. Two or three hours is a welcome break. You suggested bringing food and that is a wonderful idea. Thank you for addressing this in your video.
Totally agree with Lisa. I too am in the same situation. Tho I'm fortunate to be surrounded by supportive people and staff. But yes loneliness and social separation are a huge factor of 24/7 caregivers. 😊
Yes exactly! 👏
I agree with you so much! We took care of my husband's beautiful mom in her last days and we really needed time away to breathe.
People would offer to bring us food or do chores and errands, but it was those precious moments that we had alone that kept us going. As much as we loved her and wanted to be there for everything, it was overwhelming. Especially for my husband, who watched his extremely strong, loving mother who took care of everyone else, dwindle to a shell.
Bless this of you who are still in it. Find humor where you can, take any time to yourself that you can. ❤
@cyn4476 I certainly have developed a sense of humour that most people don't usually find amusing, tho it's a way of self preservation. Mind you, ya also find out who your true friends are.... I nursed both mum n dad tho lost dad 3 months ago and now it's me n mum. Also I don't think the general population understands how exhausting this job is mentally n physically. I do pray a lot.
Amen sister!
My dad was drugged heavily, couldn't sit up to eat, slept all the time. I got him off the meds, he fattened up, sat up. And I had him around for another 2 + years. He died at 91.
Godbless u
Watched my uncle go from up and holding down food to being drugged up on morphine and Ativan and basically starving to death after hospice steps in. Not saying all hospice nurses do this but some do.
Unfortunately, this version of being heavily sedated at nite ,and on destructive meds , is the most common version , inspired by the hospice/palliative “incentive”. Last time I checked, it was $30k ,,,,,
My Mother essentially starved to death..😢 her dementia was so bad she just shut down in all ways and was bed bound. No eating, no drinking, no moving, no talking..Very, very hard to watch..but caring for her was a great blessing for my brother and me. But losing her twice, mentally and physically, really took it's toll. But we do not regret the time with her.
Experienced a virtually identical situation losing my M.I.L. late last year. Dimentia is devating for the patient, lost in their own mind and failing body, and family members who often have to deal with a combative or argumentative loved one that does not understand they need a lot of assistance, often in all things. The condition effectively imprisons everyone associated with it, strains relationships, and destroys the person afflicted.
We are in that now. What you said about losing twice really hits home.
@@stevek8829 my heart goes out to you🙏
@@Tammy-mj2rw Thank-you.
I’m sorry for your loss 😢 my FIL passed the same way, he had fallen first though, he stopped eating and it took quite awhile for him to finally pass because he was so strong, it was gut wrenching to watch him waste away and he couldn’t close his mouth or really talk anymore and he had thrush,it is still hard and will be for me for a long while he is very loved 🥰
I helped with the care of my grandmother in the final few years of her alzheimers journey. My father and youngest uncle lived with her, but I would come daily to bathe her/clean her teeth. Ect. She didn't know who I was during that time. The last 3 months of her life she was moved to a facility 3 hours away (closer to my other 2 uncles) after she had several falls, UTI's and a bout of Shingles. When I heard she was in her active dying stage, I made the drive to say my goodbyes. Nurses said for the previous few days she was more or less unresponsive to anything. When I arrived and kneeled down next to her bed, I said "I love you grandma, now go be in peace with Jesus". She turned her head towards me, opened her eyes, places a hand on my cheek and replied "I've been waiting for you". She immediately went back to her coma like state and passed 2 days later. Even though she didn't remember me for several years, I deeply believe in that moment she SAW me and KNEW me. We had a very close relationship my entire life and that 3 months after she was moved to a facility was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing her.
Thank you Julie! Hi. I am a paid caregiver for an 83 & 85 couple, married 62 years. I love them so much!! It is my honor & privilege to care for them! ❤ i find your information very helpful!!
Same here hun!
I showed up to watch this video and I'm glad I did. I'm 75 years old and beginning to worry about my health. Thank you for helping others. You are as close to an "Angel" as some will ever experience.
🤣🤣🤣
@@keithbronson9777 are you serious? Be respectful or keep your opinion to yourself
@@keithbronson9777 How utterly disrespectful.
God bless. Take good care of yourself, listen to your doctors, and do things that make you happy.
I am dealing with this now. My husband has dementia and Parkinson's and is having cognitive decline. It's ironic your video popped up today as he is in a more confused state than usual today. Being the sole caregiver is very difficult, with no family near by. He has a friend who stops in to visit and usually 2 nights a week comes to sit with my husband so i can go to Zumba for a much needed emotional break. Watching someone decline is so very hard. Dementia and Parkinson's, I wouldn't wish those diseases on anyone :( Thank you for your video.
Can you tell me more about Dementia and Parkinson’s combined? My father in law has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but he has also had shaky hands for several years now plus he shuffles quite a bit and we suspect he may well have Parkinsons as well even though he refuses to do an MRI. What should we look out for, what can we expect? I am more familiar with Alzheimers as I have had quite a few relatives and acquaintances with the disease but I know zero about Parkinsons.
@plan4life my husband was diagnosed by a neurologist in 2018 without an MRI. The neuro noticed a number of subtle physical deficits (stiff arm muscles, shuffling gait, slow movements, limited facial expression, soft voice). An MRI won't diagnose Parkinson's. There are some other diseases that can mimic PD or they can be diagnosed with Parkinsonism. My husband didn't have much of the tremors. And then often they can get the Parkinson's related dementia. If you suspect PD please get him seen by a neuro for diagnosis.
My mom is in the late stages of Alzheimer's. Every once in a while she has a moment of lucidity. It is like the body becomes a faulty mobile phone that their spirit is trying to get through. I pray for her to be freed from this broken down body soon.
Keep caring and treating life as you are your mother..I mean everything and everything one.. manifest your DNA your rewards lay there!!!
The hardest thing for me as a caregiver was keeping up with the decline emotionally toward the end. I was always two steps behind where my mom actually was and where I accepted her to be. It was brutal.
God bless you! It does take a toll! What a blessing you were to your mom:)
I can only say , amen. I know exactly what you are saying.
My family took care of my 98 year old grandmother and I totally agree! Even though we know what’s happening watching someone decline and die slowly is emotional and sad. My grandma had a very peaceful and beautiful death last week.
My husband was first diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in 2014. As his dementia progressed slowly, it was finally diagnosed as Lewy Body/Parkinsonism, due to exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. He's been in Memory Care for 10 years now. He has his Navy pension (served 29 years) plus 100% disability. I am blessed to be able to visit him almost daily, and he still knows me.
My MIL went from LB/P. I'd never heard of it before. It was hideous. She was fine; knew nothing. Her poor beloved husband suffered so much. That was five years ago. He's fine now (91!) and is living a full life, but occasionally he lets slip just how much he misses her. Married 60 years
Salute him for me. 🫡
Thank you, sir.
You will never be forgotten.
❤
Thank you for your Service.
I want to thank you for this video as I don't think you would have realised how well timed it was for me. My dad had terminal cancer and died last month. My mum had a form of Parkinson's with dementia and died 10 days after my dad. You perfectly explained what was happening in my life and for that I will be forever grateful.
Oh my gosh, this is exactly how my mother passed away. Her dementia progressed rapidly near the end and she just stopped eating and drinking, which eventually led to kidney failure and she peacefully died. This video was the first time I’ve heard it explained. So good to have a better understanding of what happing to my mother in the end and how dementia is the root cause.
Thank you... my Mom passed December 23, 2022 from vascular dementia. We did not completely understand from her perspective what she was facing. She was in a memory care facility and was kept safe and clean. She had staff caring for her 24x7x365. Constant visits and updates and strategy for care was always there. She caught COVID in the facility when was the catalyst which led to her decline. She dropped 25 lbs and never recovered. She survived COVID, but never got back what she lost. She had Hospice care and we worked with the team to provide her the most comfortable life we could. She did stop eating and drinking and passed shortly after that. I am eternally grateful for the hospice team as when they saw the signs, we got "the" call and were able to be blessed with a visit before she left earth. It was such a blessing to be able to say our goodbyes.
My mother was in memory care and got RSV. After that she took several stair step declines (it didn’t help that my father insisted she move to a different facility). She eventually contracted COVID and while she recovered, it was the beginning of the end. Not long after we had to move her (again), this time to a nursing home and put her on hospice.
The home should've given her 20K units Vit D3 daily and gotten her into the sun, clear sky, midday, 20 min a side.
my son died of Cancer 2 years ago, We did not get to say goodbye, we were waiting in the waiting room when they called code blue for his room, They could not resuscitate him, he died alone with the family less than 5 feet away! I pray I see him again, I would love to be able to hug him one more time
@@denisesorchidparadise1411 I guess you didn't take notice, but this video is specifically titled,
"How Does Someone Die from DEMENTIA".
@@tjmmcd1 death of any kind can be SO hard on family who can only search for answers, like in the situation of being only 5 feet away but not have that last moment.
Have compassion from today forward.
Denise needs understanding, not such a reply as you gave.
I was in two similar situations, December 10, 2021 and December 17, 2021.
I learned what it was like when family had no compassion.
Hospitalist here. I get to see a lot of those downward steps. Plus my dad died of dementia. This is EXCELLENT. Hospice nurses rock.
I just lost my daddy to dementia. He fell and broke his hip and he stopped eating and drinking. Hospice was wonderful.
I’m so sorry
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray to you today to give peace and comfort for everyone here in the comment section who are taking care or grieving for a loved one, give them serenity and understanding while they deal with this sad aspect of life and remind them that they will be reunited in Heaven. Thank you for sending your only Son, to die on a cross, so we have opportunity to spend eternity with you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
I'm an RN. This was an wonderful explanation that everyone can understand. Thank you many people need this information.
Momma will be 98 in April, ive been with her 24/7 for 8 yrs now i know its taken a toll on me i had a bad case of covid at New Years fortunately caught hers positive and bless pharmacy at Walmart got Paxlovid she came through. She has had Dementia for 8 years now ive been with her so happy to be able to but taking early retirement is financial burden and i am so tired pray for me. I do so love her❤ God will provide Amen!
I have no idea why you popped up in my feed, but I’m so glad you did. This was an amazing and helpful video- thank you for making it!
Same as my case, and my beloved mother is going through late-stage dementia. Thank you so much for this video - I hope whenever she is called home it will be a peaceful, restful moment for her.
Probably you searched for Joe Biden and the algorithm picked it up.
Agree..I found this extremely informative
Same here!
You were spot on Julie. I was helping my mom with my dad who had dementia. It’s horrible watching what they go through and I don’t think they even know it’s happening. Care givers need to take care of themselves too. It’s not easy taking care of them so accept all the help that is offered and if you can, get outside help.
My 78 year old mother is in a nursing home with dementia. We first noticed her memory loss and unusual behavior in 2016. she had many tests at different hospitals and was finally diagnosed with dementia. She went into a nursing home in 2019. She was doing ok until she fell in February 2023 and fractured her spine. It was horrific as she would wake up and "forget" she fractured her spine and would try to get up and then scream in agony. It took months before she was back at the nursing home. Now she walks with a shuffle and hunched over and uses a walker. She sleeps all the time. She barely remembers my sister and I. It is difficult to visit her as she becomes highly agitated and angry and knows how to push buttons. Then just like that her mood swings and she becomes this almost exaggeratedly nice person. It is emotionally difficult to watch her decline and that she doesn't know who I am anymore as her daughter. She has a lot of sores now all over her body. Every time I visit her there is something new. I am grateful she is in a place where she is well cared for. I juggle caring for my husband who had a double lung transplant last year and now cancer diagnosis, my older sister who has paranoid schizophrenia, and my mother all while working full time. I feel guilty that I am not visiting and caring for my mother more, but I am doing the best I can with everything. I feel like my entire circle of family is dying sometimes. I am 51 and now I understand what a hard decade this is for many, when parents tend to die and loved ones get sick. I lost my step mother to covid last year. My 81 year old father is grieving. Thank you for giving this difficult video presentation. It helps to understand as much as possible!
Thank you for this video. My sister passed away from FTD and ALS Sept. 2022 after 2 years. She had just turned 59. Even though I am just seeing your video now, it is comforting to know there are people like you trying to help everyone. God bless you. I think my family members and I did the best that we could. Brenda's passing at home was peaceful, just sitting outdoors in her wheelchair on a warm, sunny afternoon. Earlier that morning when I woke up, I had a vision of 2 spirit lions, a mom and dad, coming and taking their spirit lion cub away. My sister was born under the sign of Leo and was very fond of lion pictures and sculptures, etc. I immediately knew what the vision was about, but I quickly dismissed it, saying to myself, "It's too soon for that." After all, we had only been dealing with home hospice for 2 weeks and she was even sometimes still doing her daily walks. We had taken a tour the day before of the White House to see the new Mr. and Mrs. Obama portraits. The hospice nurse had visited after we got home. In the morning (after I'd had the vision), the home health care aide came for the 1st time. She gave her a sponge bath in the bed and helped us get her dressed. She helped us walk her up a few steps to sit outside in the wheelchair. I was happily surprised that Brenda could bear some of her now 77 lb. weight as we got up the stairs. But, the vision was correct. I wheeled her around the neighborhood playing her favorite Parliament Funkadelic songs for her from my phone. After we got back, we stayed on the front porch and my other sister tried to get her to eat a little something. She motioned that she wanted to go for a ride in the car, one of her favorite things. So we were getting ready for the drive and she was impatient ......she got up out of her body and left without us!!! Bless her dear heart. Love you, BeeBee!!
I'm sorry, but what is FTD? Thank you.
@@allengumm1157 I believe it stands for Frontal Temporal Lobe Dementia.
For people of color, this pressure wound or potential pressure wound discoloration may look more purple or dark brown depending on the skin tone. Thank you, Nurse Julie for this video! 🙏🏽
Thank you! That's precisely the information I was scrolling down looking for. I
I'm a PCT in a hospital and I don't think I've ever heard anyone mention that. I'm not supposed to do assessments but often the first eyes to see things like that and like to bring it to the nurse's attention. Thank you for helping me be better at my job.
You are doing a great service educating the general public about dementia. Thank you very much!
Thank you so much. I cared for a woman for 12 years who was diagnosed with dementia and was a very combative individual with her daughters. The husband and I and this woman became friends and I ultimately became her caregiver. We clicked incredibly and I "got her." she began to thrive and her Dr's were very cognizant. It was so beautiful. SHE was so beautiful to me. At 12 years if care the daughters swooped in and took her to another state. She did not want to go. She was flown there (to my dismay 😭) and died 2 months later 😭 😭 😭. This "event" was what killed her I truly believe. I miss her so much. Her death was so unnecessary 😭
Dear Melissa, I just want to thank you for the love and unconditional care that you provided for 12 years. The world needs more angels like you.
My mother was sent to a senior psychological center for treatment due to her anger. I can’t tell you how many times I cried my heart out. When she was released, I hired the caregiver next door and my mother loved her. It was a true blessing to have this woman in my last year with my mother. Sometimes family can be your worst enemy because they are afraid the parent will leave everything to the caregiver. Perhaps that’s why they swooped her up. I thought about moving my mother but read moving them can quicken their decline.
This describes my grandmother 100%. I noticed a HUGE change in her mental state after she had Covid. Strangely enough, Dr.’s weren’t concerned about that, they were like yep, you’re positive, now how about this UTI, which she always seemed to have. It was probably six months from the time her confusion was starting to be debilitating, to her death. When she started to fall, is when she went down hill. One day, when I went to get her out of bed and ready for the day, she said, I just want to stay under my covers. She never spoke another word and was gone in ten days. She was 101… 🥰🥰
I was not there at the end of my mother’s life, she was in a care home 6 hrs drive away near my bother and his wife.They didn’t give me enough notice to go.I always felt bad.I had taken care of mum for a few years before she went there but had no family so had to work at my business.This makes me feel a bit better.I loved her so much.
❤❤❤❤❤
💗💗
my father just passed away .. i know it was really tough for my mother. but she embraced it.. the whole process.. finally was able to get a caretaker.. a few months before he finally passed.. godspeed to all
My mum passed from dementia a few days ago,you described her symptoms spot on,I was with her when she passed and it was very peaceful,she just went to sleep.❤
My Grandpa died from an infection after years with dementia. The infection got so bad because no one knew what was going on. He died peacefully in the hospital with his family around him. 10 years on and I still miss him daily 😢
I think the point about accepting help when it's offered is so valuable. People want to be super heroes but the loved one needing your care will benefit from your rest too.
Julie, what a wonderful video. I’m an RN , and I think the photos you included showing skin on its way to becoming a pressure ulcer will be so helpful for the caregivers out there. Being a hospice nurse is a special calling. God bless you for answering the call.
we just sent a thank you card to an ER doctor and the team in a New Brunswick ER. I think it's important to always tell people in these situations when they're making a difference.
My father had. UTI plus fell down the same day. Went to rehab. He was already diagnosed with dementia. Was placed in a nursing home facility. Thrived for a year in facility and died from failure to thrive . He did not eat for 2 months. It’s right to the tee how it all happened. Thank you and God Bless to caregivers and staff involved in this cruel disease 🙏🏻❤️
Thanks for this information I'm my father's caregiver and it's tough but rewarding to be there for my Dad.
I took care of my mom for 5 years with alzheimer. She passed on December 12. Taking care of mom was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Everything that you just described happened and more. It was a 24/7 job. People don't understand how hard it is to see your loved ones deteriorate like that.
Son-in-law's mother suffered from dementia and started wandering the streets in her nightie while trying to get into her childhood home. She then became very violent to him and to carers who visited ending with her being admitted to a care home.
People don't understand how hard it is to see your loved ones deteriorate like that but some find it physically difficult control their loved one when it gets that violent!
Don't blame them for choosing a care home to keep them safe!!!
Before i started dialysis, i was sent home until it was "time" i was dying (even though there is a treatment) for about a week . I wasnt hungry, i wasnt thirsty, i slept all day and was awake at night, whenever i rolled over it felt so amazing. I was comfortable and did not desire to get up. Finally, i realized id been down a long time and hadn't used the restroom for several days. I drug myself to the doctor. I still remember how comfortable and free of worry i felt while I was "dying". Im on dialysis now 10 years, but i plan on stopping and going back to that place when the time is right. It was lovely.
Thank you, Julie. The explanation about the steps is very accurate. My brother and I live with and care for our 92 year old mother. It is painful to see how much she has lost, but she is still Mom.
My mother is seventy nine years old and was diagnosed with dementia this past October and she got a UTI and went to the hospital in a delusional state. I moved her to a better living facility that has better doctors and nurse practitioners that deal with dementia and alzheimer's. It truly is a great place. Lately, she has had problems with her legs swelling and moisture on them, and of course, she needs more encouragement to eat and drink because she no longer has the desire to do so. Since I moved her there just a week ago,
she is on better medication and has much better care. I just want her happy and safe with proper medical care at this point. A good place is the key.❤
Hey Teresa 🌹, good evening and also how are you feeling today ❤️ ?
UTI makes you delusional no matter the age or other factors.
One of the hardest things is finding a good nursing home. But easy to blow through your life savings there in a year. Then you are off to the worst assisted living facility when you qualify for Medicaid.
@squirrelattackspidy It really was hard to find a good affordable place. But I actually did call that home for mom that I saw on TV and they have a list of all the top nursing/assisted living place and they were very helpful. But still, I had to go through them all and price them, look at their care management ect. It was a nightmare! But it all worked out in the end.
@@teresayates8274 I have a relative in a independent living facility right now. It's sort of like a hotel. $11,200 a month. Not sure what's going to happen to her once the money runs out, but I don't think the money is going to last much longer. Then I suspect she will be off to the glue factory of nursing homes. I wonder what countries do this better than the United States? Probably a lot more than you'd think.
Julie, you are a TRUE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL !!!!
My father passed when he was 69 from this horrible disease. The hospice nurse called me to indicate he was actively dying and once I got by his bedside, I told him it was ok and he could go home, to which he did about 10 minutes later. He had a smile on his face and it seemed as if someone was waiting on him. I found comfort in that. This was in 2010 and I have thought about him everyday since. Thank you for what you do.
That was an excellent description. Thank you! This was exactly what happened to my mom in 2021. She was 89 years old with dementia. Toward the end she did not eat, and she constantly slept. We had her as comfortable as possible. My brother was in the room with her when she took her last breath. She was a great mom! ❤
My mom was Italian and loved red wine, and the nurse tried to give her a favorite wine: No reaction. We knew it was over then. She went into a deep sleep for 2 weeks and that was it.
@@tomcurran8470, I’m so sorry Tom. My Italian mother-in-law is still here. She turned 90 in January and is doing okay. A few years ago my mother stopped reading books. That was my sign when I knew something wasn’t right. She never turned down a book that I would get for her from the library. A few years later is when she passed away. It’s tough. I’m sending you a virtual hug wherever you are.
This brought tears my eyes, because everything she says is clear and straight-talking and true about the person undergoing the disease and the carer/carers involved. The points she covers are entirely related to my own mother, who went through the various stages of dementia, many of them later on very difficult for her - the hallucinations, the delusions, utterly real to her - and for me. There came a time after seven years when indeed at the very last stage she slept virtually all the time and declined to eat or drink. I suspect some shallow strokes also assisted in bringing her life to an end. It may not sound right, but may I just mention relief, both for her and for me on her death? Robert, uk.
It is very much a welcome relief when someone you love dearly has suffered so terribly and their suffering is over! There is NOTHING WRONG WITH SUCH RELIEF. NOT FOR EITHER OF YOU! IT SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU LOVED THEM AND HOW THANKFUL YOU ARE TO SEE THEM FINALLY FREE OF PAIN AND SUFFERING AND IT'S A HUGE RELIEF TO NOT HAVE TO WATCH THEM SUFFER ANY LONGER! THEIR BATTLE IS OVER AND THAT IS A VERY WELCOME BLESSING FOR BOTH OF YOU. I PROMISE!❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@gerilynnk5321...I very much appreciate your reply, but why the shouting, the exclamation marks? The message comes across clearly, beautifully, without any of that. Never mind, all the best, Robert.
Yes, you nailed it. My mother died of LBD. She died exactly as you described. Thank you for this video. After she died, then my father died. He died of pulmonary fibrosis 3 months after my mother. Then after that my partner of 37 years became sick with MSA-P. I am taking care of him but like you said, watching someone decline especially a loved one is extremely hard. I'm going into my 7 straight year of caring for loved ones who I watched decline and die. I cry all the time. I've cried very often over the last 7 years. Watching my partner struggle and slowly be tortured to death is like living with a broken heart everyday. I can go from thinking we are having a good day to sobbing in a flash. I don't see a future. I have survivor guilt. What horrible disease will befall me? I'm terrified my partner will die next to me in bed at night. But mostly I cry and it's sobbing unending crying.
When my grandmother died from dementia, the hospice nurse and grief counselor sat with me in the day room and I will never forget how they talked me through the whole thing. We sat on the floor and played the board game, Sorry. The nurse asked me if I understood why grandma kept forgetting everything and couldn’t remember my name anymore. I told her yes. She continued on to (loosely) say ‘That’s what’s happening right now. Your grandmas brain keeps forgetting how to turn her body back on and how to work like a body should. This means that sometime soon, your grandma will go to sleep and her brain will forget to wake her back up again’. She and the grief counselor worked together to help my 10 year old brain understand what death was. I had never lost someone before then so the concept was new to me. Hospice nurses are truly the best.
My Father Dominick died September 2022. He was in a nursing home at the time of his death. I was there every day. They gave him morphine at the end… it was extremely painful to watch. I could not imagine how awful it was for him!! He suffered 3 years with it. Of my brother, sister and I, I saw him a majority of times! My brother and sister really did not Love my father as I had loved him!!
Missing you Every Day Dad! Love your greatest child, Michael Anthony!!❤❤😢🙏
Thank you for loving him. You must also know that you gave him a very important gift when he most needed it, just by being there for him.
As a hospice nurse.. your dad was held by Great Love.. it is us that suffer.. THEY move into a different place. A physical body has to leave xx
My grandmother passed away late last year from dementia. We saw and knew what was happening, and could only watch and wait. Spend time while we could. Near the very end, she was speaking to people that, not only weren't in the room (or even same state), but also those that had already passed. Her late husband whom died almost 40 years ago, her mother whom died mid 2000s, and my dad whom died in 2020 from covid were some of the people she spoke to before stepping over the fence.
I believe that when they start talking to their loved one's who have already passed, that they have come to prepare them for the end and let them know they are waiting for them. I think it is a beautiful thing ❤️
@@tarshrogers2742 My dad never said a word to anyone in his last five days so explain how nobody was waiting for him.........
My mom passed away last year and suffered from dementia 5 years. Here decline was very much like your description. Among her myriad of health problems dementia was, by far, the worst for our family to deal with. Advice from someone like you would have saved us a lot of frustration and resentment.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I can't tell you how many times my mother would yell and attack me as she progressed. I did a lot of crying. The worse thing was not being with her when she passed. She was in assisted living on hospice and the facility was on lock down because of Covid. That was 3 years ago and it still breaks my heart.
Good description, still haunted years later from my mom’s death from dementia. Didn’t know what to expect at the time, this video would have helped me.
My BIL and sister are going through this with his Dad right now. I go help three to four times a week. I will call them to take a whole day off and don’t come home early on the weekends. While Pop is a sweet and gentle soul, it’s tiring, especially for my BIL because he has the biggest job of cleaning up after him. But my sister and I do it also. It is the most heartbreaking disease I’ve seen. But I need to show my BIL this video because he wonders if he’s doing enough. And to know that the end will be peaceful has been my prayer all along. We’re all three in our late 60s and Pop is in his 90s. Even with hospice coming twice a week it’s still a hard job. Thank you for this explanation video. God bless you.
What is BIL,?
Brother - In - Law .. Helloooo ! 😵💫
@@jodyfeinberg9895 easy ! I could through acronyms at you that you would scratch your head over trying to figure out too
Took care of my mom her last 6 years and my father his last 8 years. You have excellent knowledge and thank you for sharing. God bless you for all you do.
My mother was 87 and passed away from Dementia 3 months ago. Everything you said happened to her. Pressure wounds, stopped eating and stopped drinking. But it was all of the sudden. She went from walking, laughing and eating to a 180 and died within 5 months.
So sorry.
I lost my mom 3 years ago. She fell and broke her hip. Luckily she lived with me. She was 90 and doing quite well until the fateful accident. It was so heartbreaking that after the fall I could no longer help her at home. My sister was MIA. I harbor so much guilt that she had to pass in an assisted living facility. They are wretched places. God bless my sweet sweet mama. She stayed brave. I’m just heartsick. I wish I knew how to help her better. I’m late to the game but glad I found your video!! 🙏
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
@@rhondathomas7952 can’t help it. I’m
so heartbroken 💔. Thank you!!
Both my grandparents passed this way.😢
But I just want to say that I admire your strength to go on working in this field.
You’ve been through so much and to keep your head above your past struggles and to keep your head up is nothing short of incredible strength. Congrats on your plaque too.❤
Yes Julie, I agree. Most of my nursing education went out the window when they became ill. I truly appreciate you passing on this valuable end of life information. ❤
What a pleasant, respectful and informative caregiver! End of life care is among the most difficult situations to face/handle, her presentation is easily understood and followed. As an 18yrs’ service hospital tech/therapist, this channel should probably be
on most viewers’ CZcams feed!
Being a caregiver along with my sisters...this is exactly what my mom when through before she transitioned ❤
My mom was diagnosed in 2009 with picks disease, frontal lobe dementia (she was 59 at the time of diagnosed) however she was showing signs of something being wrong about a year before that. She was fully functional but one by one she started to lose her abilities. She was completely bed ridden and passed in 2018 from aspiration, it was the long goodbye… my father who was her caretaker was diagnosed 3 months prior to her death of esophageal cancer and it was a rapid decline. RAPID! He passed 13 days after my mom. He took the best care of my mom, she never had bed sores, he always put her first and made her priority, even ignoring his own health. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with either ❤
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you SO much for posting this information. I was a Hospice Nurse for years, & this information is so important to get out for caregivers and families. It is such a great tool to have CZcams now. Your clear, supportive, short format would have been so helpful to me in the field to refer people to. Next generation teaching format is fantastic!! I am now in the age group where my friends are going to be dealing with the issues you discuss. Thanks again, Julie! And bless you for your attitude in dealing with such an emotionally difficult job. I know it's really tough! You are a modern day Hospice Champion!
I’m 64yo and am my dad’s caregiver. My stepmom and sister are here, too, but they both work still. It’s hard some days as my dad can lose his temper at the drop of a hat and start yelling over dumb things. It’s difficult, sometimes, to not argue with him so that frustration gets pent up inside me. I’m also dealing with the loss of three cats in two months from a mauling and being run over by cars. Dealing with my dad and loss is so hard, but I know I must do my best for my dad. Sometimes, you just have to do what needs to be done for your loved one.
I don’t really have anyone offering help nor do I have a car to go out and get away for a bit. My breaks, when they’re home, are me sitting in the backyard with my cats or hiding in my bedroom watching CZcams channels like this. Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been struggling as to how one passes with dementia and you put my mind at ease. You’re a kind and caring blessing.
Ask for help. Pointedly and firmly without animosity toward anyone. I only know if someone needs help if they ask and then I do all I can for them. Just ask.
I feel your pain, 37 here... accepted my fiancés proposal.. 2 weeks later, I had to travel to his mother.. she seemed confused as to where her husband was at.
Later we found out she had driven him to the local VA, which she didn't recall. 3 months later, shes a widow. Brain cancer.
Been living with her ever since, I'm certain she has alzheimers but still waiting for the dr. to confirm it.
Snyde remarks, random outbursts of anger and trash talking are the daily norms... i feel like im taking care of a 62 year old child that tries to manipulate and gaslight anything for sympathy. House has fallen into decline years ago and need to fix it, their finances are a mess and trying to declutter the home of lifelong hoarders....
It's easy to get frustrated, flustered.... but what can you do... it's not malice thats causing it, they're lashing out in fear and paranoia usually.
I'm guessing she's still got a good decade or two in her... just not sure if I'll last that long, she has no family to speak of.
I try to hide sometimes, needing solitude (heavily introverted, going missing for a few days was normal for me) but the crypt keeper stalks the halls in its domain, and no one is safe.
@@xNialx I can relate to hiding away to get some solitude. I do that every and that keeps me sane. I can’t imagine how hard it is for them. The fear they must feel and endure every day, knowing they are losing their memory. I can sometimes hear it in my dad’s voice and things he says. It is heartbreaking and I press on for him. I just hope it doesn’t happen to me.
“Very sweet are the uses of prosperity, the harvests of peace and progress, the fostering sunshine of health and happiness, and the length of days in the land. And they who would fain live happily ever after, should not leave these things out of the lessons of their lives.”
-Juliana Horatia Ewing
Im grateful for your videos. Dads 85 with dementia. He's so sweet. But falling lots lately and not able to control his bladder. Im worried but im ok. Im emotional ready but logistically not. Going to start seeking more services and advice of how to proceed. We cant afford to move him to a care facility and don't want to yet. Pray for us as we pray for you all. Blessings
Praying for you all 🙏🏻👑🙏🏻😪
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You are such a godsend to me!! Thank you so much, Nurse Julie!! I am a full time caregiver to my mom who is in advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, and in this short video, you have answered so many of my questions. Please please please continue to do your good works in creating these invaluable videos…you are helping so many of us who are going through extremely tough times!💕🌷🙏
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I help caregiver for my neighbors GMA. The lady has 9 kids all living. 7 in our area and state, with 6 able to help. The men handle the yard and home repairs while the women keep her clean. She has seized about every 4 weeks, she snaps back to the new norm but her last one made it where she can’t walk more than a few steps, now we help her in the wheelchair to go to bed and the bathroom…. She is hardly ever wrestless anymore. She knows her routine oddly enough and I’m glad she is in her home she had built in the 1950,s. I’ve seen a big decline since I started. She’d pop up and you have to be right there! Now she can’t get up with out help.
My mother had PPA and went exactly as you said. I wish our society would get over it's fear of death and let these people die quicker and not suffer so much. My mom would've chosen a quicker end rather than go through her 6 year slow death.
You advice about giving/taking a break is huge! Caregivers of patients with dementia is a very hard job.
I’m a nurse specialised in geriatric care and I can second every word you say. I can’t say it as well as you do though. I’m sure this will help a lot of people coping with the slow and painful loss of a dear one. God bless you!
Scared and alone, seen it first hand and often, family is everything, stay strong... They were your loved ones...
Hi there. I'm so thankful for your shared information. But I am so very sad too. God bless anyone going through this.
I live in Canada so we had no cost when our dad died. He was in hospital for only a week. Although I tried to feed him, he did not want anything and died peacefully at 91. He was a veteran for 30 years and he will be buried in Ottawa at the military cemetery. My brother took most care of him for 10 years. God bless him.
Bless all those suffering from these diseases AND bless all of you who provide care, love, safety, and understanding. You are angels on earth.
My mother passed in 2020. I wish I had found your channel when I was caring for her. Thank you for the information.
My 90 year old mother died one year ago after a tough journey with dementia. As an adult through her life, my mother had suffered anxiety and PTSD due to childhood trauma and unfortunately we were very challenged trying to help her with many anxiety related issues as she deteriorated from her dementia, right to the very end. Her doctor and the care team considered her quite complex in regard to "mental health and management of that". As you have described, in the last weeks of her life she struggled to eat and drink and eventually stopped. Not long after that she deteriorated further and slept all the time. Two days before she died, it became apparent she was actively dying. Unfortunately, it was not a "peaceful death". For approx two days, although unresponsive, never awake and showing signs of actively dying, she became agitated, restless and seemed to fight letting go. Care staff would come in and comment "she's such a fighter" "she's so strong"! Even when she finally passed, she seemed to be enduring a terrible battle. It was the furthest thing from peacefully sleeping until breathing stops. I have felt traumatized by the experience and so sad that she did not have the death I wanted her to experience. I feel that this can't possibly be an isolated occurrence. Surely there must be some people with dementia who do not sleep peacefully and just sort of slip away!?
Hi. April 16 Tuesday 7 pm. MST western Canada The last email was to SUSAN 236. Regarding her mother’s death not being peaceful. I am very very poor at the computer and could not figure out how to just reply to her. my apologies to all
Thank you for this video. My mother is now 104, which is, of course, amazing and wonderful. But within the last two weeks, I've noticed a drop in her cognitive abilities. She lives with my older sister, and I am going to share this video with my sister tomorrow. I will also offer to watch over mom more often so my sister can get a break.
My wife and I are going through it now. Her mother is in a nursing home. She fell and broke her hip on the22nd of this month. Thank you for this timely information.
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@@cherylthompson2731 Last night we found out she needed 2 pints of blood from internal bleeding. Maybe from a hernia or an ulcer.
Our hospice nurse messaged to me about two weeks before my Mom passed away that the end was near. I asked her how she knew, she said, "When a patient sleeps as much as your Mother does, it's the body's way of preparing itself for death". She was right. My Mom was peacefully sleeping 20+ hours per day. She passed away shortly after the nurse said she would.
I went through this 11 years ago with my mom. I wish I had this information when I was going through it. Thank you.
Thank you for this. My Dad passed away from dementia with underlying issues. All of this makes sense and helps me understand what happened to him better. My poor Dad. He did want to sleep alot and had no interest in food any longer. So very sad.
My father is 87 and recently had a bad chest infection that hospitalised him for a week. He's recovering from that but has become very forgetful, agitated, restless, confused and anxious, particularly in the afternoon/early evening. He circles round a topic for hours, repeating the same thoughts and questions. He keeps a notebook in which he writes down everything, dates, events and so on. He'll also have perfectly lucid stretches where he's almost his normal self again. He says that he doesn’t feel ‘right in the head’ and is so scared that he's losing his mind. Some hallucinations too, I think, which he is convinced are real on one level but understands intellectually are not. A few years ago he started to be a bit paranoid and to confabulate, making up ‘memories’ but not lying, just making believe. I felt this was compensation for losing track of things. I hope that he can recover somewhat and go a few steps up the stairs again. It feels like a very sudden decline but I recognise also that it's been going on for some time and he's found ways to cope and to remain independent.
Such great information! You described perfectly my 98 year old grandma who is on hospice and has dementia. From what you shared my mom is doing a great job caring for her.
My mom passed way from LBD (Lewey Body Dementia) last year. She died at home and it was a blessing that she died in her sleep. No pain no yelling out - nothing just passed away in peaceful sleep. She had gotten to the point where she hardly ate anything or drank. I knew it was coming so was with her.
I’ve been a dementia nurse for 4 years and all you said are 💯 correct. It is such a cruel illness. Very heartbreaking 💔
I'm sure you've heard this many times before, Nurse Julie, but I wish I had seen this years ago when my parents were both in Alzheimer's care units. Two separate ones, miles away from each other, progressing differently, out of my sight for 90% of my day, for ten years. No hospice for either of them as they both died "quickly". If I'd had someone like you to speak with, I would have been more at peace with the situation and with myself. I hope you realize what a gift you are to those who are caring for loved ones with dementia. For them, I thank you.
Thank you for this description and for mentioning the needs for caregivers to accept help and take breaks. So important!
I'm so glad I stumbled onto your video. My wife was in hospice for cancer. One day, I tried to feed her , but she was no longer swallowing. It was so disheartening watching her slip away. We were married almost 24 years and I was there in her final moments. Keep up the fine content.
Wonderful advice I found myself nodding and agreeing with you all the time after I gone through dementia with my father.