A question you could add is, "Do you have proof of residency?" With them needing a map and coordinates of their base. Then, the next question could be, "Do you have an unclaimed location for your prospective shop?" With a map of the plot they are going to build their shop on. And the last question being, "Do you have reasonable proof of a sustainable customer basis?" And they'd need a book with the signatures of at least 3 Hermits that would be their customers.
Grian should have a bunch of alter egos. Then he should tell people "I can't grant you a permit, but you should schedule a meeting with the head of the department of officiality, Dr. Joseph Griansworth." Then he meets with the hermits wearing a different skin and refers them to a different alter ego so they never get to someone who is actually willing to grant their permit
Make them submit paperwork into a chest, and after the item is sucked out of the chest, have a dispenser click and have the hermits hear the sound of an item burning. It'd be even better if occasionally it fired a book back at you that said 'processing error'
Idea: - Have a note block that makes the bat squeak sound once every minute and blame it on a mice infestation. - Make a waiting room with a light that constantly flickers that the hermits need to stay in before filling out the form
Question ideas: Have you evicted a snail in the last three days? Did you enter through the correct door? Have you cast your rod thrice beneath the dome? Do you understand redstone wizardry? Have you collected the rent from your neighbour?
office suggestions: 1. A weirdly long waiting line that's sectioned off with belts (you could use chains) or floor markers like arrows or just a line that leads to the desk. 2. Give hermits slips with random numbers to let them know where they are "in line". Then call out random numbers out of order. 3. there needs to be a complicated system to make an appointment so that you have even less customers. 4. A test to receive new permits.
i just want the last one to be "Did you vote Mumbo Jumbo for mayor back in season 6" and if they say no they have to write a full page essay justifying their actions
Afterwards it sends a book with the words "your suggestion has been dutifully noted and will be passed to our management members, thank you for your contribution to hermit permits inc"
It should be like those old-school pneumatic tube mail systems. You can send pieces of paper whizzing around the building so it looks like stuff is busy, but the suggestion pipe just leads to a fire.
Paperwork questions: - Is moon big? - Have you exited this building through three different ways? - Do you have permission to sign this form from pas, present and future you?
The last question on the form should be “add another question to the form” so that the form just gets progressively longer and longer the for each hermit that gets a permit
“Please provide feedback for your experience with the HPD. For the sake of improving our security standards, submit any suggestions you may have for additional terms and conditions for the permit application form.”
It needs a long, winding queue like at Disneyworld. It needs a basement filled with bookshelves where you can go and be like, "I'm sure that book I need is somewhere..." It needs a water cooler. It needs a lot named zombies to work as workers, and one creeper (people assume he's a diversity hire). It needs a coffee machine that doesn't work. It needs a kitchen with a passive aggressive note on the fridge. It needs motion-sensitive lights that turn off if there's not enough player movement, so anytime you go there, it's always dark and filled with hostile mobs. It needs an office for the manager. The manager needs a mug. It needs an atmosphere of despair. Pure, utter despair.
I think the left-handed option feels weird because the arm isn’t mirrored, it’s just moved over. In other words, it’s still the right hand, it’s just on the wrong side. Edit: the skin texture is mirrored, but the angle of the arm doesn’t seem to be. The right arm points inward, but the left arm points outward
@@auxerria Oh, true, the skin is mirrored. It’s the angle of the arm that throws me off. Right handed, the hand/arm points inward / to the left, so I would expect the left hand to point inwards too… but it also points left. That’s why I thought it was mirrored, I didn’t pay much attention to the skin texture
I love how pro builders gush over other pro builders in these games. It's wholesome like how a little girl loved an idol. That idol loves a bigger idol, and that bigger idol loves an even bigger idol. Just people appreciating one another.
You should add a “back room” that is really just there so you can get away from the customer, like it’s just an empty room with a single chair and an exit door so you can say “ let me just check in the back”
Adding to what I already said if and when the hermit eventually leaves because he’s disappeared when they confront grian about it he can say he came back “but leavening means they must completely redo their previous paper work” or something
another idea: add a painting on top of a powdered snow in the corner that looks just like the floor, so when you walk into it you go to the backroom(s)
oh dude.... as someone with an inconsistency in their records i cannot emphasize enough how perfectly accurate the permit office is. incredible. keep it up man this is gonna be so good
"Did you notice anything strange?" Grian I literally could not focus on anything you said for the first minute and a half because I was so weirded out by the hand being on the wrong side
To continue the snail prank even further a question could be "Have you've been respectful to the local snails around Hermitcraft? If you have been disrespectful to them let's say, put one on a lone raft in the middle of a river or put them in a poorly built cage then your permit won't be passed until you have apologized to the snail you have wronged"
Don’t forget the maze of barrier ropes they HAVE to go through. Also maybe the front door opens and closes on its own making it hard to get in. Clutter the whole area with standard bookshelves as well as the new ones to make it look like the office is overflowing with paperwork. Make special item frame items of messy stacks of paper and maybe even spilt coffee
Some simple suggestions: "What is your name?" "What is your quest?" "What is the flight speed of an unladen swallow?" "Please explain how your business would impact the rate at which woodchucks could chuck wood, were they capable of doing so"
Need a short 10 page essay on how this permit will effect the economy with graphs! Is there a section for 3 endorsements from the business community that are not friends or family? Would a full FBI criminal background check for the last 10 years be appropriate? I think you need hat size to waist formulae. Have they ever had any aliases? Income and cash flow statements! Maybe included in a business plan? Executive summary and an elevator pitch!
Make IDs for the forms. Special books that are copied to the point that they can’t be copied again, and signed specifically by you, Grian. If they lose their ID? They have to fill out the *replacement forms* and wait for their new ID, which will be delivered through the mail system after *insert the number of days YOU want it to take* days. Someone shows up without their ID? “I’m sorry, but you can’t be allowed to fill out the permit paperwork without your ID.” To really bother people, only ask for the ID halfway through the paperwork.
Suggestions: What's your horse's mother's maiden name. If you answered yes to question 1 go back to question 1 If you answered no to question 1 go back to question 1 Have you declared any fruit or vegetable upon entering the permit office.
I wonder if Grain has adhd. Hear me out, 6:30 *stops to marvel at Bdubs's shop* "anyway, continuing on" *starts ranting about Joel's build* Literally any fishing clip 3:11 there is so much more even just in the few beginning hermitcraft episodes of season 10, im convinced he has adhd
suggestion: a business hours sign that reads "Open from 4:55 to 5:00 on alternating Tuesdays and Fridays not following major holidays, astronomical events, elections, sunrises, and fishing trips. Appointments only."
“Permit Office Opening Hours - I open the shop on most weekdays about 11:30 or perhaps 10 am while occasionally I open the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1, except on Tuesday, I tend to close about 5:30 pm, or earlier if something needs tending to. However, I might occasionally keep the shop open until 8 or 9 at night. You never know when you might need some light reading. On days that I am not in, the shop will remain closed. On weekends, I will open the shop during normal hours unless I am elsewhere. Bank Holidays will be treated in the usual tradition, with early closing on Wednesdays, or sometimes Fridays. (For Sundays see Tuesdays).”
Your permit office needs a lot of seats in the waiting room with a number system. Have the Hermits pull pieces of paper with high numbers like "100" or "1000", but have a big sign saying "NOW SERVING NUMBER 2". You can also say their paperwork will take up to 3-5 business days to process, but in reality it'll be more like 3-5 months... if they're lucky.
“Your paperwork should take 3-5 business weeks to process” and then everybody has to figure out wth is a business week. Is it seven business days? A regular week containing five business days? Any five consecutive business days (and all non-business days in-between)?
You should add a "Suggestions and Feedback"-Box with a Book&Quills to leave feedback. And once someone puts feedback in the box they can hear a dropper clicking and the sound of lava burning an item. That would be hillarious.
Permit office ideas: - Have an extremely long zig-zag queue line that people have to walk the entire length of to get to the desk - Get a mailbox hooked up to the permit office that requires people to send in mail for certain things - Set it up so that 1 in 9 things sent to the permit office get "lost in the post" - There should just be a constant flourescant light hum in the background. Just quiet enough to drive people mad. - Permits should be sent out to hermits via the mail system "in your own time". Given the sheer number of permits you're dealing with, it'd be understandable if there was some mix-ups and some people got the wrong permits. - Have an Automated Permit Request System that's always "out of order", and spits out junk permits (Like "Coarse Copperstonebrick") when you try to use it
This person has dealt with bureaucracy. Naturally, the final step of any application is to helpfully run it through the automated system, which promptly beeps angrily, catches fire, and incinerates the document in front of the applicant. Then tell the customer there must have been an error on their form so they need to fill it in again.
Also to stop people from flying; elytras and other modes of transportation are banned inside (of course since it would undermine the use of roads blah blah etc) and if you had anything such as an elytra, minecart, ice, or a random block that just somehow makes sense, everything you had done would be null and void and you would have to wait 31 hours to return and try again. (Insert stupid but valid reason here)
Permit office suggestion: A waiting room that you make them sit in for 3-5 minutes, with a glass window through which they can clearly see you sitting around and doing nothing, just wasting their time. Holy this many likes!?
And a box of numbered papers and a sign "Please wait until we call your number" and then only call out numbers that aren't in the box for a few minutes :D
I love waiting 6-9 months just to get an approval for something. And I guarantee you, there’s a government employee who could be doing my documents and stuff who is just sitting around doing nothing.
More ideas: - Start giving parking tickets to people's horses randomly. - Require referrals from 5 other hermits when someone asks for a new permit. - Require a proper motivation letter. - Make a big pile of boxes with easter egg titles such as "Complaints about Iskall's chest management", "Evidence of counterfeit diamonds", etc. - Add two villagers behind the counters, one named Tom, other Jeff. Tom has a sign saying "That's Jeff's job", and Jeff has a sign saying "Ask Tom about that". - Take a few coffee mugs from Cleo's shop and place them around the office.
19:00 what if, for this season, you make the nether hub into a community-plaza/recreational-park/city-square design it would allow for flatter, open spaces that could enable easy accessibility to all of the nether portals, thanks to a reduced number of tunnel-systems, while also managing to look visually appealing
As a german I am something of an expert on bureaucracy myself, so... the key to a satisfyingly maddening bureaucracy is that every rule needs to have a reason to exist (otherwise you could just ignore the rules and we can't have that). Bureaucracy happens, when you have detailed rules for absolutely everything and absolutely every eventuality and then you need rules on how to deal with the rules and also you need rules on how to deal with contradicting rules and so on. For example: Putting the permit office in the "middle" of the shopping district is a good start. Its not the permit offices fault that the hermits don't follow the agreed upon developement plan. The trees are not there to "hide" the office, they are there to replace the ones that had to be cut down. Which of course means nobody can build a road to the office, because obviously, you can't cut down the replacement trees, otherwise they would need to be replaced. Next there should be some rules regarding the parking lot. Of course you can't just park your horse there, you need a permit. And then you need confirmation that your horse is properly parked before you can continue (you to NEED to park A HORSE properly OTHERWISE you can't continue). And so on. You want a new permit? Then you need to make sure everybody is okay with that (announce it in public, wait for four days or get signed approval from 50+1 % of the hermits). You think a shop is undersupplied? Give the other person time to make a counterstatement, also you need documentation. Everything need to be documented by the way, and every document should to start with the personal data of the customer, because, of course, the parking lot manager can't give out the personal data of the customers to the permit manager and the permit manager can't give them to the complaint manager and so on...
for the floor, you NEED to have a ticket counter, so they have to wait for their ticket to be called up...along with multiple help desks that are just empty or "off to lunch" signs.
I always get confused with those tickets, specially when I take one and it ends up not being needed for the specific thing I needed, or that there aren't any tickets and I can't find where the tickets are.
An idea to maximize bureaucratic nightmares, you should create an actual back entrance, but have it lead to a decrepit hallway full of soul sand and cobwebs to make it as painful as possible to get in and once they finally do, have an obscenely long queue zig-zagging around until they finally reach your desk.
@treezlol3272 the slowest is ice under soul sand plus webs im think. Im not fully sure why but ice under soul sand makes you even slower, probably because soul sand isnt a full blocks height and registers you standing on the ice below it as well
@@epicgamersauce3516 I want to say it's because ice works up one block and soul sand is a little shorter than a block so the ice works through. Not 100% sure though.
As a suggestion to make it even more governmental: To even have access to the MJYAAFK06 as shown in the video in the first place, the hermits need to fill out a Y2K86 Form and a MYJAAFK06 Form. Here is a basic idea for the forms: Y2K86: - Username - Date Of Birth - Place Of Birth - Location Of Residence (xyz coordinates of their front door) MYJAAFK06: - Username - Date Of Birth - Place Of Birth - Location Of Residence (xyz coordinates of their front door) - Item For Which The Permit Is Necessary - Pledge That All The Information In The Form Is Complete And True On top of those two forms, they need to hand in a valid piece of identification, which must include, well, you probably guessed by now. Once they've done that, a file is open in their name with a unique 6 digit number, which they are given verbally at the same time as the MJYAAFK06 Form. They MUST remember that number and give it to you back once the form is filled in, otherwise they can't access their file and have to restart the process. And, of course, if they don't submit the completed MJYAAFK06 Form with their file number within a certain time limit of it being issued to them, you close their file and they have to restart the whole process. Basically, have them fill out multiple forms, with redundant information, to even be allowed to have access to the actual form, and include a lot of unnecessary paperwork that is easy to lose and with similar names that are easy to confuse. (Can you tell that this was inspired by actual events?)
It's like you've worked in a government office. Q's for you to consider 1. What size plot is your shop going to take? A. What portion of your shop will be above ground? B. What portion of your shop will be made of water? 2. Have you travelled by horse around your proposed plot to ensure it had equine access? 3. Please include your environmental impact assessment with your application. 4. Please include a site map 5. How many hermits will the shop employ? 6. Have you previously submitted, and had accepted form TSMBZ? (this form does not exsist) 7. How far is the furthest Hermit from spawn?
The map is genius. Keep asking for different zoom levels, or say the map is improperly centered, or there is no marker indicating the position of your planned shop, ...
You could add to the book: - Do you have at least 7 signatures from diffrent hermits to prove that there is demand for your product. - Lay out your plan to reduce the ecological footprint of your permit in the upcomming years and how to compensate for the surplus of of produced CO2 for the increased horse rides and elytra flights from all hermits visiting your shop (i.g. planting a tree) - provide a sample of the offered good for quality controle
@@GamerProKMthats why you add these between things like "have you ever stolen the left lens of rendog's glasses", "when was the last time you performed a water bucket clutch after jumping off the top of Magic Mountain", and "would you eat spaghetti made using glow inc sacs"
Suggestion: make it a must to send forms and appointment by pearl's post service, then set up a civil lawyer chamber to "help" hermits process their permit but charge them fees to help process (really just chucking the permit in a barrel for a few IRL days before signing it) or charge them a premium to fast-track their permits (putting it in a barrel for 1 or 2 IRL days before signing it)
Form question suggestions 1) “Have you put hidden TNT under Ethos Dishwasher?” Maybe that one? 2) have you been to the coordinates of (whatever coordinates are) and gave the cat sitting infront of you 3 raw salmons? 3) have you interviewed 3 hermits about their houses and bases and find out what is in their basements?
Permit question ideas: -“How did you get here? By foot, by horse, by flight, by elytra” and if they put flight instead of elytra the permit is rejected because creative mode isn’t allowed on the server -“Have you eaten a pufferfish within the last 24 hours?” If not, the form gets rejected -“How would you rate your experience today out of 10?” -“Which ingredient for a suspicious stew do you find to be most useful?” -“What was the weather in Glasgow a week before you submitted this form?”
-For anyone to submit any paperwork require them to show their Hermit Identification Card. -Have a whole separate form to apply for a Hermit Identification Card and then require processing time for them to actually receive the Hermit Identification Card -Could even require the Hermit Identification card to require other identification that also needs to be applied for -Somewhere make a joke about requiring their Spawn Certificate (Birth Certificate) -Have multiple very similar forms that apply for ever so slightly different things so they'll have to figure out the exact form they'll need or fill out the wrong one multiple times Edit: also consider just putting The Back Rooms under the office building
On top of this, have a different identification card depending on which area their main base is in, and each identification card has a unique application process. And make them expire after a month after their issue so they constantly need to re-apply. It's almost like real life.
@The18107j this is where you make them get the new identification card from mumbo, but only after getting their certified hermitcraft permit identification permit from Rendog, which of course requires the standard petition signed by three hermits that can only be obtained from....
Low hanging fruit: "Have you fished up a mending book?" And then the follow up - "If yes, how many uses of a fishing rod do you have?" and deny the paperwork if it is lower than your own
As a lefty myself I've played Minecraft left-handed for years, basically since they added the option, and I genuinely didn't notice your hands were swapped until you spelled it out! I think I see it often enough while playing myself that I didn't think anything of it, and so many creators I watch just stick to a right-handed character that I don't find that way nearly as odd as righties find southpaw, so it just flew right over my head xD
Permit question suggestions: - "Please list the three blocks you will use the most in the construction of your shop." - "Have you asked at least three other hermits if they would purchase this item?" - "Have you told someone you care about that you care about them recently?" (EDIT: Reject the form if they start talking about this while filling it out) - "Can the item be contracted to a point on a manifold that is NOT a 3-sphere?" - "How big is the moon?" (Mark it incorrect if they don't simply say "big".) - "Have you already retrieved the Holy Grail?" - "Please list your favorite fictional letter of the alphabet." - "Is the item Turing complete?" (If it is, reject it HARD) - "Please list all artificial dyes, flavorants, and preservatives that will be used in this product." - "Please select a sequence of 16 random numbers between 0-9 (inclusive)" (If they select 2, or any non-whole numbers, reject it) - "Have you hidden three surprise gifts for a friend underneath their nether portal?" - "Please combine two idioms to create a new one." - "Have you visited the Chamber of Sea Critters to marvel at its glorious artwork and statues?" - "Have you filled out forms BLLLVGOAT-09 and MWITDZDTL-10?" (Buttercups Live Laugh Love Versus Grind Optimize Automate (S9), Mumbo Walked Into The Danger Zone Due To Llama (S10))
I love these so much But make sure that forms BLLLVGOAT-09 and MWITDZDTL-10 do NOT exist! If they ask what these forms are, reject it. If they say yes, reject it.
“Please list your favorite fictional letter of the alphabet.” 1. i love this question because it’s chaotic and nearly impossible to answer via just typing. 2. Do letters from other languages count? If so, then people like Doc could just say ö, ü, ä, or ß and get away with it.
Grian, you ought to make the ONLY entrance to the Permit office be 200+ blocks away, maybe in a really unassuming, terrible spot. I.e. put it in a back corner of your Prismarine shop, with a tiny sign saying "DHP Entrance", which leads them down a sterile white-ish hallways underground into the DHP. Anytime anyone wants to meet with you, ask them to meet you in the DHP. If they break blocks to enter, give them a form they have to fill out and maybe a fine of some sort before they can do anything else
Even better, to pay their fine they have to fill out an even longer insurance related form which Grian then has to file and process in the system before they can finally pay their fine consisting of one (1) diamond
Do you pass the requirments of Article 14 Section 31? (Reference) "Those taking part in any form of Resistance or Unrecognised Organisation against other Hermits in Leadership Positions on the Server are Ineligible to receive a Permit."
Or, since there's not supposed to be any diamonds exchanged there, they have to do community service such as placing enderchests at shops without them or making communal horse holes. Then they have to fill out a subsection in the MJYAAFK06 asking for the coords of the chests/horse holes then the next person has to go and remove them because they aren't "to code".
The "other door" needs to be an air vent on the roof that is just full of grime. edit: There needs to be a wet floor sign that never gets dealt with, an overhanging light that is always out of order, and a ceiling tile that is missing.
Four suggestions! a)Please list the coordinates of your last 5 hermitcraft bases b) Please list your annual per-season income using the adjusted Diamond to sand ratio c) list your employment history over the past 4 seasons d) are you now or have you ever been associated with “shad-e-e’s” or any of its affiliates
Hermitcraft 9: Super fast highway that was used once Hermitcraft 10: "Oh DuDe, HoRsE hOlEs!" Also, idea: block off the entrance with literal red tape until the door is ready to use. sorry if its unoriginal tho
Few suggestions. -Add screens with ridiculously long estimated wait times. -ask if they have successfully applied for a permit within the last 2 weeks - ask if they have died within the last 4 hours and if so please fill out an ID-10-T form which is just a book requesting a 5 paragraph essay inquiring as to the events leading up to their death and how they intend to learn from it - require they have 2 hermits sign a document claiming they would be interested in the said permit being created - ask if they or anyone they know is associated with big salmon and if so please fill out form SN-1-T and mark yes on subsection CH (This form will be sent expess delivery to Doc) Make a winding queue line with fences only for you to tell them to get a ticket and sit in the waiting area for their ticket to ve called at a separate desk - make a calendar of days the office is closed and make up some bs holidays for every day -ask if they have found and filled out form 404 and never have copies to give them -request if they paid a "service fee" of 5 diamonds and reject the form if they have and return their diamonds with a reprimand for trying to bribe a government employee
You could add a whole extra step. You could make them have to present a valid ID to even start the process, so they have to go through all the rigmarole of the book and questions just to get an ID, so they can fill out ANOTHER book full of stupid questions.
"Why is Poultry Man???" "Is Minecraft a square world?" "Do bases REALLY need a back??? (Just asking for a friend.)" "Are all your current shops and buildings up to Code as of the printing of the HBAOSBP-11 handbook?" (Hermit Building Association Of Silly Building Practices - season 11 edition) "Why is Mumbo Jumbo?" "Did you fill out all 23 pages of this form?" (There should only be 22 pages. And this actually (sort of) happened to me when I filled out some government paperwork. Literally everyone I talk to and the form itself said it was a four-page form, and yet when it was handed to me there were five pages.)
You should build a redstone machine to "verifies" the forms, only to have it make a bunch of noise, take a load of time, then spit out a "application denied" paper no matter what they answer.
Yes! And then there should be a procedure to appeal this denial of the application but since the automated way failed... let's just say there will obviously be a *reasonable* waiting period of at least a week so that the appeal can be given the full attention it deserves.
Can confirm governments like to put key office buildings in the weirdest places. Like down a road filled with forest that leads nowhere, which requires a very specific series of turns from the highway. Good luck knowing it even exists. (This is the social security office btw.) And yeah, looks like Grian's too. Very government.
As someone who has had to deal with _so_ many government departments in the last 2 years, I find how the dhp works to be not only hilarious, but sadly way too accurate. (Now, if there's ever another government depart that opens, there has to be absolutely ZERO communication between them for maximum frustration (and accuracy))
One of the things that should be added to the interior is a needlessly long waiting line that is fenced off and blocks off access to the desk. There is no way around, hermits must manually navigate the twists and turns anytime they approach or leave the desk. (Bonus points if it simply loops and never leads to the desk)
Hey Grian, you should us all that space between the door and the desk to make one of those really long rope mazes for people standing in line. Also, a secret door in the floor, where you stand behind your desk for when someone wants complicated help, you have a quick getaway.
DHP suggestion: Have a ticket system that gives out tickets (named papers) to hermits with really high numbers while a counter of some kind (decorative not functional) on the desk has an extremely low number (under 10 or something) It would be really funny to have hermits come in and get a high number ticket, only to have a low number called out "I'm ticket number 95 Grian" "That's awesome, take a seat. Now calling number 2"
Grain: "... the dullest building you've ever seen" Grain: *proceeds to create an amazingly beautiful building with lots of texture and an amazing colour scheme* ah yes... very dull...
-Have you considerd that your Itam or entity is safe for snail consumtion? - On a scale of AFK to ping 437, how much demand do you think your Itam or entity have? -Do you have any plans of basing your shop on the shape of a cod? - Has the moon gotten big? - Using only one word, why have you chosen that specific Itam or entity?
The ultimate proof of frustrating bureaucracy is when you have multiple forms that depend on each other: Form A has the question "Have you submitted and been approved on form B?" and Form B has "Have you submitted and been approved on Form A?" Or at least requiring 2-3 other forms before form A can be submitted
Almost had this happen to me at the dmv. I didn't have a full license and my learner's permit had expired, so I was getting a non-driver's ID so they could have that on record at my new job. They of course needed multiple forms of identification, including a form *issued by my state's government*. So to get a state issued ID, you needed to prove who you were by supplying your state issued ID. Took half an hour to find a list of suitable alternatives.
As a disabled person, this is just like the DWP! Doing everything they can to make sure nobody gets help. Now it just needs tricks to catch people out, like how interviews for mobility issues are never scheduled on the ground floor so when claimants show up their claim can be immediately dismissed on the grounds that they managed to get to the room. Or how for vision issues interviewers will wordlessly offer a glass of water and if the claimant acknowledges it their claim will be dismissed on the grounds that they could see the glass of water. I have so many stories - I guess I just needed to vent a little.
Ideas for bureaucracy: - Character References: Certain forms should require at least two references. Those hermits will be contacted and required to fill out a recommendation before the original form can be processed. - Help Requests: In the event that a form should SOMEHOW take too long to process, there should be a whole string of forms required to submit a help request in order to move the form along. - Numerical Specifics: Forms involving permits should require specific numerical information about the exact dimensions, location, and block counts of the venue in which the permit will be used. Any violation of these specifics upon actual shop construction can result in, of course, more paperwork. - Terms of Service: Before any hermit can process any form, they should be required to agree to the DHP Terms of Service, which can include several annoying hurdles tucked away inside of a long list of stipulations. - Essay Questions: Certain questions on the forms should be short-answer or essay questions, rather than quick yes/no questions. - Form Replacements: To save on typing out books, you might gently remind your fellow permits that the permit office is run free of charge, and that certain needs must be met in order to keep it running. Therefore, any completed form must be accompanied by a fresh, empty copy of the original form upon submission. Thus making sure you stay stocked. - Satellite Offices: Some forms simply aren't in stock here at the main office, but might be in stock at one of the satellite offices. These offices are located in various hidden places around the map, and the directions to find them are, for whatever reason, cryptic and vague. - Lunch Break: Somehow, the employees at the permit office are on lunch break right now, right at the moment when you needed something. - Appointment Scheduling: Certain forms must be completed with a permit office representative, requiring an appointment to be set up in advance. Fortunately, the permit office provides all the forms required in order to sign up for appointments. Some of these forms require an appointment. - Expiring IDs: In order to submit forms of any kind, a valid form of ID is required. However, since time passes much more quickly in Minecraft than in real life, IDs also expire frequently and must be renewed before any further action can be taken. - The Fax Machine: Some forms must be faxed to the regional headquarters for approval. Unfortunately, the fax machine is often broken.
permit office ideas: - a toilet that's (always) out of order - a no-smoking area - an identification system except it always says "photo not clear" or "person not recognised" or something along those lines - a snack machine with extremely expensive snacks - an important area that is under construction (like the horse holes) so that people REALLY don't wanna visit - a flickering broken light that you can also see from the outside (extremely annoying when your visiting) - maybe something like doc did last season with the megaphone thingy where it just keeps repeating like "unfortunately all of our employees have gone on a fishing trip today and will not be returning until tomorrow morning" or "employee 12345 to the managers office please" and stuff like that - a little "please take a number" machine that everyone has to use (even when there a no other customers) really cool vid Grian! started watching hermitcraft again this season and I'm really enjoying your videos so far :)
Let the "other door" be an entrance in the back marked "Employees Only". Then send them on a fetch quest since they're your employee. Make them bring a quantity of snail slime, or a #2 lead pencil (renamed oak fence) available from JoeHills. Make them accurately report how many teeth Gem's Angler Fish has.
Don't forget to leave room for a mailbox in the office! That way you can force hermits to mail in specific forms. Of course not all forms are accepted via mail, and other forms require a mailed-in pre-form to initiate. As a bonus, any issues that arise from having to transfer forms via mail can just be passed off to the post office. :)
Oh man, this made me realize that Pearl will need to file for a stamp permit soon... Seems like the perfect opportunity to have her mail in a form, but immediately invalidate it for use of unauthorized stamps.
You need a labelled chest for "Complaints" to be submitted to, that takes the written book away through redstone and visibly deposits it into a block of lava. Possibly consider alternative chests either side for "Suggestions" and "Completed Forms" that end up in the exact same place. Also a numbered ticket dispenser and a "Next to be Seen" sign with a number on display that changes only once in a blue moon.
Would be funny if a hermit were to have parked their horse in the horse pit or the garage, when they're about to leave, give them a fine or a penalty for some wacky reason like "Horse's well-being was not regularly checked during your visit"
I like this.. 😂 It should take twice as long to get a parking permit for the horse, as it will to go through what you were actually there to do... Only to then come back to a fine for missing hay permit or something. 😂
Some redstone to lock horses away, the key is a "Validated Parking Permit" that is sold for 20 Diamonds inside, or can be acquired for free from the vending machine that is fully accessible but completely hidden. I almost hate parking garages as much as Gov'mint offices.
Idea: Fill the office with carpeted flooring and hide magma blocks under the carpets close to the desk so anyone who visits cannot get a permit without taking damage. You can explain this by saying that it’s their soul being drained, and make a no sneaking-rule so they can’t avoid the magma blocks. This way, anyone who visits has to get frost walker boots to get a permit since the process will be so tedious that they will die from magma blocks if they don’t have the boots (frost walker negates magma block damage).
Grian I would suggest adding a take a number inside and a few lines that lead to windows. When people get near the end it pops a sign up saying closed please proceed to next window.
For the permits, make them give in the forms in Quadruplicate, but don't allow it to be signed since it needs to be stamped by you to get to the next step(don't tell this ofc, so when they sign it you can reject them) So they'll have to manually, by hand type out the form many times.
For another sign, you could post ridiculously restrictive office hours, like "Open 1:00-1:25 pm on every second Tuesday of the month (time zone may vary)." Permit Form Question ideas: "Have you ever participated in a mass-egging of another Hermit's base? If yes, then please write the time, location, and reason for the egging." "Have you ever been accused of war crimes?" "Have you ever been convicted of regicide?" "If you were to choose a secret code word, what would it be and why?" "Have you previously been a premium member of Sahara?" "What is your height?" "Have you previously run for, or held, a position in public office? If yes, fill out details of prior experience" "Have you or someone you loved ever been a victim of fraud? If so, how was Scar involved?" "How many beds have you broken while BDubs was trying to sleep?" "Have you ever fished up a Mending book in the past? Please list the dates and locations of each instance"
Collects lots of clay -> Build has no clay at all
Ha
Grian
Typical...
Honest grian moment fr fr
Yep just perfect 👌
A question you could add is, "Do you have proof of residency?" With them needing a map and coordinates of their base. Then, the next question could be, "Do you have an unclaimed location for your prospective shop?" With a map of the plot they are going to build their shop on. And the last question being, "Do you have reasonable proof of a sustainable customer basis?" And they'd need a book with the signatures of at least 3 Hermits that would be their customers.
YES! That's good😁😁
This is a good one🤣
Incredible ideas 10/10
i definitely want to see the hermits bringing in so much documents of their own before they can fill out the paperwork
Get this to the top please
Grian should have a bunch of alter egos. Then he should tell people "I can't grant you a permit, but you should schedule a meeting with the head of the department of officiality, Dr. Joseph Griansworth." Then he meets with the hermits wearing a different skin and refers them to a different alter ego so they never get to someone who is actually willing to grant their permit
The egos are all brothers or something and one of them is Ariana Griande
I love this this is an amazing idea
At one point they'll just loop and you gotta do the whole:
"Yeah no, but I've already spokem to them and they send me to you"-thing xD
I’m getting ATLA vibes with all the different brothers at lake town
@@jacksoncarroll5245”You’ll have to ask my brother Xu” 😂😂
Make them submit paperwork into a chest, and after the item is sucked out of the chest, have a dispenser click and have the hermits hear the sound of an item burning. It'd be even better if occasionally it fired a book back at you that said 'processing error'
This is my fav idea I've seen so far omg
Why is this not liked more
Feels too real 😭
You'll have to remember if the Permit Office is closed, to put a 'Gone Fishing' sign up.
😂YES😂
ooo yeahh
genius!
This is genius
😂
Idea:
- Have a note block that makes the bat squeak sound once every minute and blame it on a mice infestation.
- Make a waiting room with a light that constantly flickers that the hermits need to stay in before filling out the form
ok
Genius
Make them go absolutely insane😂
ok
Bdubs could help with the flickering effect, too.
Question ideas:
Have you evicted a snail in the last three days?
Did you enter through the correct door?
Have you cast your rod thrice beneath the dome?
Do you understand redstone wizardry?
Have you collected the rent from your neighbour?
Haha then you can say if the snail was purple or green
office suggestions:
1. A weirdly long waiting line that's sectioned off with belts (you could use chains) or floor markers like arrows or just a line that leads to the desk.
2. Give hermits slips with random numbers to let them know where they are "in line". Then call out random numbers out of order.
3. there needs to be a complicated system to make an appointment so that you have even less customers.
4. A test to receive new permits.
i just want the last one to be "Did you vote Mumbo Jumbo for mayor back in season 6" and if they say no they have to write a full page essay justifying their actions
I think that you may have the wrong season but that makes it even funnier
@@samszczepanski2281I was about to say I thought that was season 7, but agreed that does make it better
Did you vote GoodTimesWithXisuma0100 in season 4 1/2? Please explain in 6-8 sentences
Season 7 and I'd love to see how Gem, Pearl, Joel and Skizz answer that😂
@@littleelijah1852 the correct answer for them is "no but i would have, he seems like he'd make a great mayor"
A "Suggestions Box" that is a little redstone gadget that visibly sends their suggestion immediately into a fire.
That would be so fricking funny omg
With an aggressively cheerful thank you for your suggestion sign
omg yes lol
Afterwards it sends a book with the words "your suggestion has been dutifully noted and will be passed to our management members, thank you for your contribution to hermit permits inc"
It should be like those old-school pneumatic tube mail systems. You can send pieces of paper whizzing around the building so it looks like stuff is busy, but the suggestion pipe just leads to a fire.
Grian you should put a contraption saying "have questions? Tell me on this slip of paper!" and there's clearly a dropper leading to lava under it
Paperwork questions:
- Is moon big?
- Have you exited this building through three different ways?
- Do you have permission to sign this form from pas, present and future you?
The last question on the form should be “add another question to the form” so that the form just gets progressively longer and longer the for each hermit that gets a permit
Genius!
OMG YES
“Please provide feedback for your experience with the HPD. For the sake of improving our security standards, submit any suggestions you may have for additional terms and conditions for the permit application form.”
Omg this is a great idea
that is genius
It needs a long, winding queue like at Disneyworld. It needs a basement filled with bookshelves where you can go and be like, "I'm sure that book I need is somewhere..." It needs a water cooler. It needs a lot named zombies to work as workers, and one creeper (people assume he's a diversity hire). It needs a coffee machine that doesn't work. It needs a kitchen with a passive aggressive note on the fridge. It needs motion-sensitive lights that turn off if there's not enough player movement, so anytime you go there, it's always dark and filled with hostile mobs. It needs an office for the manager. The manager needs a mug. It needs an atmosphere of despair. Pure, utter despair.
the creeper diversity hire has me CRYING with laughter but may i suggest a husk instead
HELP LMAO the basement of bookshelves…it’s got to be like rows and rows of them like archives that are a complete labyrinth
Someone get this man to top comment, this had me laughing so hard
This is for sure the comment of someone who’s worked an office job lmao
You just triggered a memory of a dream I had years ago omg.
I think the left-handed option feels weird because the arm isn’t mirrored, it’s just moved over. In other words, it’s still the right hand, it’s just on the wrong side.
Edit: the skin texture is mirrored, but the angle of the arm doesn’t seem to be. The right arm points inward, but the left arm points outward
I also think this is why
Really?
it IS mirrored though, it uses the correct part of the skin too
@@auxerria Oh, true, the skin is mirrored. It’s the angle of the arm that throws me off. Right handed, the hand/arm points inward / to the left, so I would expect the left hand to point inwards too… but it also points left. That’s why I thought it was mirrored, I didn’t pay much attention to the skin texture
I love how pro builders gush over other pro builders in these games. It's wholesome like how a little girl loved an idol. That idol loves a bigger idol, and that bigger idol loves an even bigger idol. Just people appreciating one another.
You should add a “back room” that is really just there so you can get away from the customer, like it’s just an empty room with a single chair and an exit door so you can say “ let me just check in the back”
this is genius
@@taken_tv and gives grian some interior ideas
Adding to what I already said if and when the hermit eventually leaves because he’s disappeared when they confront grian about it he can say he came back “but leavening means they must completely redo their previous paper work” or something
another idea: add a painting on top of a powdered snow in the corner that looks just like the floor, so when you walk into it you go to the backroom(s)
"Let me go talk to my supervisor" and it's just a little room with a frog
Grian last season: "I am so good at resisting government I have to create a room dedicated to resisting resisting"
Grian this season: "I AM THE LAW"
He couldn't resist any longer
Man needs some Resistance II beacons...
@@StuffandThings_ Now we need it so that every time you enter the permit office you get weakness and slowness.....
@@_aWiseMan also nausea from insane beaurocrqcy
Resisting anarchy.
@@_aWiseMan And mining fatigue (elder guardian) from all the fatigue you'll go through
oh dude.... as someone with an inconsistency in their records i cannot emphasize enough how perfectly accurate the permit office is. incredible. keep it up man this is gonna be so good
"Did you notice anything strange?" Grian I literally could not focus on anything you said for the first minute and a half because I was so weirded out by the hand being on the wrong side
"Have you added 5 blocks to Iskall's base in the past 5 minutes?"
*Iskall’s
😂 That's an excellent prank on Iskall. Have you added blocks to Iskalal's base _without getting caught!_
@@creativecravinghe added blocks to mumbos base a couple seasons ago! I don't remember how long it took for him to notice it lmao 😭
lol😂
@@creativecraving Wait until Iskall wants a new permit, he'll be in quite the dilemma
To continue the snail prank even further a question could be "Have you've been respectful to the local snails around Hermitcraft? If you have been disrespectful to them let's say, put one on a lone raft in the middle of a river or put them in a poorly built cage then your permit won't be passed until you have apologized to the snail you have wronged"
Now that's a fun idea.
yes
I absolutely love this
We need this 😂
I usually watch mumbo, but I came because I love the idea of a permit office
A good question is"have you fish't a mending book while Grian was fishing for one "
Don’t forget the maze of barrier ropes they HAVE to go through.
Also maybe the front door opens and closes on its own making it hard to get in.
Clutter the whole area with standard bookshelves as well as the new ones to make it look like the office is overflowing with paperwork.
Make special item frame items of messy stacks of paper and maybe even spilt coffee
Some simple suggestions:
"What is your name?"
"What is your quest?"
"What is the flight speed of an unladen swallow?"
"Please explain how your business would impact the rate at which woodchucks could chuck wood, were they capable of doing so"
the unladen swallow is so good
The woodchuck one is the one that broke me into laughter.
The only correct response to the unladen swallow one is "African or European?"
Need a short 10 page essay on how this permit will effect the economy with graphs!
Is there a section for 3 endorsements from the business community that are not friends or family?
Would a full FBI criminal background check for the last 10 years be appropriate?
I think you need hat size to waist formulae.
Have they ever had any aliases?
Income and cash flow statements! Maybe included in a business plan? Executive summary and an elevator pitch!
Will Creating This Shop Affect the Local Trout Population?
Make IDs for the forms. Special books that are copied to the point that they can’t be copied again, and signed specifically by you, Grian. If they lose their ID? They have to fill out the *replacement forms* and wait for their new ID, which will be delivered through the mail system after *insert the number of days YOU want it to take* days. Someone shows up without their ID? “I’m sorry, but you can’t be allowed to fill out the permit paperwork without your ID.” To really bother people, only ask for the ID halfway through the paperwork.
genius lol
A genius form of evil
Yes
@stargazer1998 nice pfp
Definitely going to reinforce the beucracy lol
Suggestions:
What's your horse's mother's maiden name.
If you answered yes to question 1 go back to question 1
If you answered no to question 1 go back to question 1
Have you declared any fruit or vegetable upon entering the permit office.
I wonder if Grain has adhd. Hear me out,
6:30 *stops to marvel at Bdubs's shop* "anyway, continuing on" *starts ranting about Joel's build*
Literally any fishing clip
3:11
there is so much more even just in the few beginning hermitcraft episodes of season 10, im convinced he has adhd
suggestion: a business hours sign that reads "Open from 4:55 to 5:00 on alternating Tuesdays and Fridays not following major holidays, astronomical events, elections, sunrises, and fishing trips. Appointments only."
omg, imagine a “gone fishing” sign on the desk
"Appointments Encouraged," I think sounds more passive aggressive
I understand this refrence
“Permit Office Opening Hours - I open the shop on most weekdays about 11:30 or perhaps 10 am while occasionally I open the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1, except on Tuesday, I tend to close about 5:30 pm, or earlier if something needs tending to. However, I might occasionally keep the shop open until 8 or 9 at night. You never know when you might need some light reading. On days that I am not in, the shop will remain closed. On weekends, I will open the shop during normal hours unless I am elsewhere. Bank Holidays will be treated in the usual tradition, with early closing on Wednesdays, or sometimes Fridays. (For Sundays see Tuesdays).”
And also the same with the parking with parking tickets they have to pay diamonds or something for
Your permit office needs a lot of seats in the waiting room with a number system. Have the Hermits pull pieces of paper with high numbers like "100" or "1000", but have a big sign saying "NOW SERVING NUMBER 2". You can also say their paperwork will take up to 3-5 business days to process, but in reality it'll be more like 3-5 months... if they're lucky.
“Your paperwork should take 3-5 business weeks to process” and then everybody has to figure out wth is a business week. Is it seven business days? A regular week containing five business days? Any five consecutive business days (and all non-business days in-between)?
Also needs to have Q-ing.
Sounds like you've interacted with the NHS 😅
I always joke around that it will take 3-5 Business years for things to be updated at my job lol😂
came here to say this
You should add a "Suggestions and Feedback"-Box with a Book&Quills to leave feedback. And once someone puts feedback in the box they can hear a dropper clicking and the sound of lava burning an item. That would be hillarious.
I love how Skizz just immediately got it lmao As soon as he saw the "Use other door" sign, he just knew exactly how this interaction was going to go
Permit office ideas:
- Have an extremely long zig-zag queue line that people have to walk the entire length of to get to the desk
- Get a mailbox hooked up to the permit office that requires people to send in mail for certain things
- Set it up so that 1 in 9 things sent to the permit office get "lost in the post"
- There should just be a constant flourescant light hum in the background. Just quiet enough to drive people mad.
- Permits should be sent out to hermits via the mail system "in your own time". Given the sheer number of permits you're dealing with, it'd be understandable if there was some mix-ups and some people got the wrong permits.
- Have an Automated Permit Request System that's always "out of order", and spits out junk permits (Like "Coarse Copperstonebrick") when you try to use it
This person has dealt with bureaucracy.
Naturally, the final step of any application is to helpfully run it through the automated system, which promptly beeps angrily, catches fire, and incinerates the document in front of the applicant. Then tell the customer there must have been an error on their form so they need to fill it in again.
"Lost in post" That's great XD
Also to stop people from flying; elytras and other modes of transportation are banned inside (of course since it would undermine the use of roads blah blah etc) and if you had anything such as an elytra, minecart, ice, or a random block that just somehow makes sense, everything you had done would be null and void and you would have to wait 31 hours to return and try again. (Insert stupid but valid reason here)
I can’t wait to see someone walk thru the line lol
The queue line should be a parkour
Permit office suggestion:
A waiting room that you make them sit in for 3-5 minutes, with a glass window through which they can clearly see you sitting around and doing nothing, just wasting their time.
Holy this many likes!?
And a box of numbered papers and a sign "Please wait until we call your number" and then only call out numbers that aren't in the box for a few minutes :D
Lmao that would be hilarious if they did that 😂😂😂
Triffinne’s idea needs to be included if the waiting room is created
This idea is amazinf
I instantly noticed that the hand was on the wrong side and it was absolutely stressing me out
There should be a reference to Asterix en Obelix: De twaalf taken.
If you haven't seen that movie you're missing out.
Scar's frustrated "I hate government" was the most accurate description of how it feels while going to get any work done at government offices.
I love waiting 6-9 months just to get an approval for something. And I guarantee you, there’s a government employee who could be doing my documents and stuff who is just sitting around doing nothing.
is anyone else not able to find S10 E1 and the last ep of S9?
@@unichicken7786 The videos are there. Ig you should check the playlists in case you cannot find them in the video section.
I smell another war.
@@unichicken7786 I can find both easily on Grian's or Scar's channel.
More ideas:
- Start giving parking tickets to people's horses randomly.
- Require referrals from 5 other hermits when someone asks for a new permit.
- Require a proper motivation letter.
- Make a big pile of boxes with easter egg titles such as "Complaints about Iskall's chest management", "Evidence of counterfeit diamonds", etc.
- Add two villagers behind the counters, one named Tom, other Jeff. Tom has a sign saying "That's Jeff's job", and Jeff has a sign saying "Ask Tom about that".
- Take a few coffee mugs from Cleo's shop and place them around the office.
referrals is so good. slows things down so much lmaoo
A Question that just says:
_"What is your mission statement?"_
This is gold, I'm already cracking up reading these suggestions
I'm pretty sure Gem got some counterfeit diamonds so that'd be a good idea
I love the villager ones LOL
19:00 what if, for this season, you make the nether hub into a community-plaza/recreational-park/city-square design
it would allow for flatter, open spaces that could enable easy accessibility to all of the nether portals, thanks to a reduced number of tunnel-systems, while also managing to look visually appealing
What adds to the whole bureaucracy feel the permit office is that you deforested that whole area to build something like this
As a german I am something of an expert on bureaucracy myself, so... the key to a satisfyingly maddening bureaucracy is that every rule needs to have a reason to exist (otherwise you could just ignore the rules and we can't have that). Bureaucracy happens, when you have detailed rules for absolutely everything and absolutely every eventuality and then you need rules on how to deal with the rules and also you need rules on how to deal with contradicting rules and so on.
For example: Putting the permit office in the "middle" of the shopping district is a good start. Its not the permit offices fault that the hermits don't follow the agreed upon developement plan. The trees are not there to "hide" the office, they are there to replace the ones that had to be cut down. Which of course means nobody can build a road to the office, because obviously, you can't cut down the replacement trees, otherwise they would need to be replaced.
Next there should be some rules regarding the parking lot. Of course you can't just park your horse there, you need a permit. And then you need confirmation that your horse is properly parked before you can continue (you to NEED to park A HORSE properly OTHERWISE you can't continue). And so on.
You want a new permit? Then you need to make sure everybody is okay with that (announce it in public, wait for four days or get signed approval from 50+1 % of the hermits).
You think a shop is undersupplied? Give the other person time to make a counterstatement, also you need documentation.
Everything need to be documented by the way, and every document should to start with the personal data of the customer, because, of course, the parking lot manager can't give out the personal data of the customers to the permit manager and the permit manager can't give them to the complaint manager and so on...
YES PERFECT
interesting (I didn't read a single word)
interesting (I didn't read a single word)
interesting (I didn't read a single word)
Damn, thats near perfect in real life.
for the floor, you NEED to have a ticket counter, so they have to wait for their ticket to be called up...along with multiple help desks that are just empty or "off to lunch" signs.
have a ticket counter that shows numbers eg. 001, 002, 003 etc with redstone, and then grian actions one permit a day aha
@@bee74209 and the numbers the hermits actually get start at 015
And have cleo make a line of waiting armorstands all in front of you
For added insult, the next ticket has four digits, but the current Now Serving is on 24
I always get confused with those tickets, specially when I take one and it ends up not being needed for the specific thing I needed, or that there aren't any tickets and I can't find where the tickets are.
How does Grian manage to make even the dullest, most boring builds so interesting? It's INCREDIBLE.
"The permit office should be helping people!" Scar sounds like the kind of person who goes to the DMV actually expecting to be helped.
Last question of a form for a permit should be "Have you filled form G9634BCK before this here form?", and not giving them the form beforehand
That would make it so much more annoying for the hermits. I love it!
perfect!
YES SO MUCH
Absolutely this
What would make that even funnier, is if a part of that form required the hermit to have done form MJAAFK06 beforehand.
An idea to maximize bureaucratic nightmares, you should create an actual back entrance, but have it lead to a decrepit hallway full of soul sand and cobwebs to make it as painful as possible to get in and once they finally do, have an obscenely long queue zig-zagging around until they finally reach your desk.
I'm not too sure, but I heard that ice and webs are slower than soulsand and webs.
@treezlol3272 the slowest is ice under soul sand plus webs im think. Im not fully sure why but ice under soul sand makes you even slower, probably because soul sand isnt a full blocks height and registers you standing on the ice below it as well
@@epicgamersauce3516 I want to say it's because ice works up one block and soul sand is a little shorter than a block so the ice works through. Not 100% sure though.
Does it have to be minecraft related ?
As a suggestion to make it even more governmental:
To even have access to the MJYAAFK06 as shown in the video in the first place, the hermits need to fill out a Y2K86 Form and a MYJAAFK06 Form. Here is a basic idea for the forms:
Y2K86:
- Username
- Date Of Birth
- Place Of Birth
- Location Of Residence (xyz coordinates of their front door)
MYJAAFK06:
- Username
- Date Of Birth
- Place Of Birth
- Location Of Residence (xyz coordinates of their front door)
- Item For Which The Permit Is Necessary
- Pledge That All The Information In The Form Is Complete And True
On top of those two forms, they need to hand in a valid piece of identification, which must include, well, you probably guessed by now.
Once they've done that, a file is open in their name with a unique 6 digit number, which they are given verbally at the same time as the MJYAAFK06 Form. They MUST remember that number and give it to you back once the form is filled in, otherwise they can't access their file and have to restart the process.
And, of course, if they don't submit the completed MJYAAFK06 Form with their file number within a certain time limit of it being issued to them, you close their file and they have to restart the whole process.
Basically, have them fill out multiple forms, with redundant information, to even be allowed to have access to the actual form, and include a lot of unnecessary paperwork that is easy to lose and with similar names that are easy to confuse.
(Can you tell that this was inspired by actual events?)
it took me 2 months but grian just "dominating big time", he said big time while looking at an hour glass. i love this so much
"I hate my permits. They're coarse and they get in everything."
My man Scar quoting Star Wars again I love it.
It's like you've worked in a government office. Q's for you to consider
1. What size plot is your shop going to take?
A. What portion of your shop will be above ground?
B. What portion of your shop will be made of water?
2. Have you travelled by horse around your proposed plot to ensure it had equine access?
3. Please include your environmental impact assessment with your application.
4. Please include a site map
5. How many hermits will the shop employ?
6. Have you previously submitted, and had accepted form TSMBZ? (this form does not exsist)
7. How far is the furthest Hermit from spawn?
The map is genius. Keep asking for different zoom levels, or say the map is improperly centered, or there is no marker indicating the position of your planned shop, ...
@@sindarin27that's an actualy great idea. You could also keep the final maps and creat a building where the whole district is shown thanks to them😂
Does the shop have an elytra gateway for aerial travellers?
holy this is evil and i love it. we need to push this comment so grian sees it!
The form that doesnt exist should be called form TFTDE (The Form That Doesn't Exist)
You could add to the book:
- Do you have at least 7 signatures from diffrent hermits to prove that there is demand for your product.
- Lay out your plan to reduce the ecological footprint of your permit in the upcomming years and how to compensate for the surplus of of produced CO2 for the increased horse rides and elytra flights from all hermits visiting your shop (i.g. planting a tree)
- provide a sample of the offered good for quality controle
Yeah but at the same time that’s semi logical
-Have you liked and command on this .... grian video and are you subscribed?
That's evil i like it
@@GamerProKMthats why you add these between things like "have you ever stolen the left lens of rendog's glasses", "when was the last time you performed a water bucket clutch after jumping off the top of Magic Mountain", and "would you eat spaghetti made using glow inc sacs"
Suggestion: make it a must to send forms and appointment by pearl's post service, then set up a civil lawyer chamber to "help" hermits process their permit but charge them fees to help process (really just chucking the permit in a barrel for a few IRL days before signing it) or charge them a premium to fast-track their permits (putting it in a barrel for 1 or 2 IRL days before signing it)
Form question suggestions
1) “Have you put hidden TNT under Ethos Dishwasher?” Maybe that one?
2) have you been to the coordinates of (whatever coordinates are) and gave the cat sitting infront of you 3 raw salmons?
3) have you interviewed 3 hermits about their houses and bases and find out what is in their basements?
Permit question ideas:
-“How did you get here? By foot, by horse, by flight, by elytra” and if they put flight instead of elytra the permit is rejected because creative mode isn’t allowed on the server
-“Have you eaten a pufferfish within the last 24 hours?” If not, the form gets rejected
-“How would you rate your experience today out of 10?”
-“Which ingredient for a suspicious stew do you find to be most useful?”
-“What was the weather in Glasgow a week before you submitted this form?”
I cackled at the first one XD
Also have you prayed at the cod temple?
for the rating it has to be the numbers 2 7 or 4 or else it's null and void
@@itoasteAlso 11
brilliant, the last one especially made me laugh
-For anyone to submit any paperwork require them to show their Hermit Identification Card.
-Have a whole separate form to apply for a Hermit Identification Card and then require processing time for them to actually receive the Hermit Identification Card
-Could even require the Hermit Identification card to require other identification that also needs to be applied for
-Somewhere make a joke about requiring their Spawn Certificate (Birth Certificate)
-Have multiple very similar forms that apply for ever so slightly different things so they'll have to figure out the exact form they'll need or fill out the wrong one multiple times
Edit: also consider just putting The Back Rooms under the office building
Hermits need to re-apply for their Hermit Identification Card if they respawn (sorry Mumbo).
On top of this, have a different identification card depending on which area their main base is in, and each identification card has a unique application process. And make them expire after a month after their issue so they constantly need to re-apply.
It's almost like real life.
This is evil and I love it
@The18107j this is where you make them get the new identification card from mumbo, but only after getting their certified hermitcraft permit identification permit from Rendog, which of course requires the standard petition signed by three hermits that can only be obtained from....
Make the cyclical permit system, require the hermit id but the id requires a hermit residence authentication which requires an id
Low hanging fruit: "Have you fished up a mending book?" And then the follow up - "If yes, how many uses of a fishing rod do you have?" and deny the paperwork if it is lower than your own
As a lefty myself I've played Minecraft left-handed for years, basically since they added the option, and I genuinely didn't notice your hands were swapped until you spelled it out! I think I see it often enough while playing myself that I didn't think anything of it, and so many creators I watch just stick to a right-handed character that I don't find that way nearly as odd as righties find southpaw, so it just flew right over my head xD
Permit question suggestions:
- "Please list the three blocks you will use the most in the construction of your shop."
- "Have you asked at least three other hermits if they would purchase this item?"
- "Have you told someone you care about that you care about them recently?" (EDIT: Reject the form if they start talking about this while filling it out)
- "Can the item be contracted to a point on a manifold that is NOT a 3-sphere?"
- "How big is the moon?" (Mark it incorrect if they don't simply say "big".)
- "Have you already retrieved the Holy Grail?"
- "Please list your favorite fictional letter of the alphabet."
- "Is the item Turing complete?" (If it is, reject it HARD)
- "Please list all artificial dyes, flavorants, and preservatives that will be used in this product."
- "Please select a sequence of 16 random numbers between 0-9 (inclusive)" (If they select 2, or any non-whole numbers, reject it)
- "Have you hidden three surprise gifts for a friend underneath their nether portal?"
- "Please combine two idioms to create a new one."
- "Have you visited the Chamber of Sea Critters to marvel at its glorious artwork and statues?"
- "Have you filled out forms BLLLVGOAT-09 and MWITDZDTL-10?" (Buttercups Live Laugh Love Versus Grind Optimize Automate (S9), Mumbo Walked Into The Danger Zone Due To Llama (S10))
THESE ARE AMAZING
"Is the item Turing complete?" is such a good suggestion, and all of these are amazing.
I love these so much
But make sure that forms BLLLVGOAT-09 and MWITDZDTL-10 do NOT exist! If they ask what these forms are, reject it. If they say yes, reject it.
I think you'd have to reject redstone products under the Turin clause
“Please list your favorite fictional letter of the alphabet.”
1. i love this question because it’s chaotic and nearly impossible to answer via just typing.
2. Do letters from other languages count? If so, then people like Doc could just say ö, ü, ä, or ß and get away with it.
Grian, you ought to make the ONLY entrance to the Permit office be 200+ blocks away, maybe in a really unassuming, terrible spot. I.e. put it in a back corner of your Prismarine shop, with a tiny sign saying "DHP Entrance", which leads them down a sterile white-ish hallways underground into the DHP.
Anytime anyone wants to meet with you, ask them to meet you in the DHP. If they break blocks to enter, give them a form they have to fill out and maybe a fine of some sort before they can do anything else
Even better, to pay their fine they have to fill out an even longer insurance related form which Grian then has to file and process in the system before they can finally pay their fine consisting of one (1) diamond
Make it only payable to a chest 5000 blocks away
Do you pass the requirments of Article 14 Section 31? (Reference)
"Those taking part in any form of Resistance or Unrecognised Organisation against other Hermits in Leadership Positions on the Server are Ineligible to receive a Permit."
Oh this one needs to happen
Or, since there's not supposed to be any diamonds exchanged there, they have to do community service such as placing enderchests at shops without them or making communal horse holes. Then they have to fill out a subsection in the MJYAAFK06 asking for the coords of the chests/horse holes then the next person has to go and remove them because they aren't "to code".
No, the motto is "We are always sometimes here to help!"
i think "Does your level end in 4?" is a good one, if it does they fail
"We gotta keep the shopping district in line." Grian... you've become what you swore to destroy... A figure of authority!
If you can't beat them, join them! But be much worse!
Grian must lead a revolution against Grian.
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villian
A black whole will be formed
i realise now just how much hermitcraft is the same as Disco Elysium
The "other door" needs to be an air vent on the roof that is just full of grime.
edit: There needs to be a wet floor sign that never gets dealt with, an overhanging light that is always out of order, and a ceiling tile that is missing.
love this one
Agreed 🐟🐟
The hole in the roof should be filled with cobwebs just to make the process even worse and slow you down
I had the same idea, also there would be no way back out, perfectly inconvenient.
The way out could be a hole that goes all the way to bedrock and a long "staircase" that you have to jump up each step to get back to the surface.
A hilarious question you could add is, "Have you in the last 5 minutes placed 10 blocks on Iskall's base without him knowing?"
“In the event that you die in the DHP you will not hold the DHP accountable in any way shape or form”
Four suggestions!
a)Please list the coordinates of your last 5 hermitcraft bases
b) Please list your annual per-season income using the adjusted Diamond to sand ratio
c) list your employment history over the past 4 seasons
d) are you now or have you ever been associated with “shad-e-e’s” or any of its affiliates
B and D! I’m dead😂
Joel and Skizz:
Nowhere - unemployed
Nowhere - unemployed
Nowhere - unemployed
(x,y,z) - job
The first one is too cruel!! LMAOOO
Every time someone tries to use the permit office, they should get a queue number with the highest number possible
YESSS
he’s got to make a roped-off area for lining up and make a bunch of armor stands of people waiting
this should have more likes
The more I see suggestions like this the happier I get. Lets all work together with "fun" suggestions for the "better" of the Hermits.
And the current number changes randomly, so when you are near, it may jump down.
You could add the question "Have you broken bedrock, died in the Void or eaten pufferfish within 20 minutes of each other?"
Hermitcraft 9: Super fast highway that was used once
Hermitcraft 10: "Oh DuDe, HoRsE hOlEs!"
Also, idea: block off the entrance with literal red tape until the door is ready to use. sorry if its unoriginal tho
Bdubs: * finishes the back of a building *
Grians head: * explodes *
😂
shut up
Few suggestions.
-Add screens with ridiculously long estimated wait times.
-ask if they have successfully applied for a permit within the last 2 weeks
- ask if they have died within the last 4 hours and if so please fill out an ID-10-T form which is just a book requesting a 5 paragraph essay inquiring as to the events leading up to their death and how they intend to learn from it
- require they have 2 hermits sign a document claiming they would be interested in the said permit being created
- ask if they or anyone they know is associated with big salmon and if so please fill out form SN-1-T and mark yes on subsection CH (This form will be sent expess delivery to Doc)
Make a winding queue line with fences only for you to tell them to get a ticket and sit in the waiting area for their ticket to ve called at a separate desk
- make a calendar of days the office is closed and make up some bs holidays for every day
-ask if they have found and filled out form 404 and never have copies to give them
-request if they paid a "service fee" of 5 diamonds and reject the form if they have and return their diamonds with a reprimand for trying to bribe a government employee
got to the end of that list and couldnt stop giggling to myself for 10 mins, it would be epic if they got added!
If he wants it to be realistic he could burn the diamonds like a real government
the last one is funny!
Genius.
A question could be "Please write 2 paragraphs on real life electrical safety."
Is it just me or is the way Wels talk absolutely adorable? "Oh! Okay" Part especially man.
“This is real. I am depressed, I am frustrated.” -Skizz
Sounds like the permit office is working xD
You know.... Big Salmon now has connections in high places in the government and with Doc having permit problems,... this could get even more fun.
"I hate my permits. They're coarse, and they get in everything."
- Anakin Scarwalker
Nice pun
I'm so glad someone else got that reference
@@muhammadahmad680 It's like one of the most overused Star Wars memes. Who wouldn't get it?
lol
Is that a reference to Scar Wars?💀
You could add a whole extra step. You could make them have to present a valid ID to even start the process, so they have to go through all the rigmarole of the book and questions just to get an ID, so they can fill out ANOTHER book full of stupid questions.
"Why is Poultry Man???"
"Is Minecraft a square world?"
"Do bases REALLY need a back??? (Just asking for a friend.)"
"Are all your current shops and buildings up to Code as of the printing of the HBAOSBP-11 handbook?" (Hermit Building Association Of Silly Building Practices - season 11 edition)
"Why is Mumbo Jumbo?"
"Did you fill out all 23 pages of this form?" (There should only be 22 pages. And this actually (sort of) happened to me when I filled out some government paperwork. Literally everyone I talk to and the form itself said it was a four-page form, and yet when it was handed to me there were five pages.)
You should build a redstone machine to "verifies" the forms, only to have it make a bunch of noise, take a load of time, then spit out a "application denied" paper no matter what they answer.
You are an evil genius! I totally agree
that is a super smart idea! he should totally put all sorts of pistons and droppers and note blocks back there just for it to do nothing
Yes! And then there should be a procedure to appeal this denial of the application but since the automated way failed... let's just say there will obviously be a *reasonable* waiting period of at least a week so that the appeal can be given the full attention it deserves.
Oh my god yes but it HAS to be labeled as a “skip the line!” Fast lane call ahead service that just doesn’t work ever lmao this is gold
Grumbot???? part 5???
There's something poetic about a government building being built out of bone blocks and fungus
and also being purposefuly hard to find so the public can't use the building designed to help the public
Mycelium resistance won
and being made by the guy who's known for starting wars every season
america wins again 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷
Can confirm governments like to put key office buildings in the weirdest places. Like down a road filled with forest that leads nowhere, which requires a very specific series of turns from the highway. Good luck knowing it even exists. (This is the social security office btw.) And yeah, looks like Grian's too. Very government.
As someone who has had to deal with _so_ many government departments in the last 2 years, I find how the dhp works to be not only hilarious, but sadly way too accurate. (Now, if there's ever another government depart that opens, there has to be absolutely ZERO communication between them for maximum frustration (and accuracy))
One of the things that should be added to the interior is a needlessly long waiting line that is fenced off and blocks off access to the desk. There is no way around, hermits must manually navigate the twists and turns anytime they approach or leave the desk.
(Bonus points if it simply loops and never leads to the desk)
Hey Grian, you should us all that space between the door and the desk to make one of those really long rope mazes for people standing in line. Also, a secret door in the floor, where you stand behind your desk for when someone wants complicated help, you have a quick getaway.
could you imagine if there were a moving queue of armor stands, too?? that would get aptly annoying LOLL
@@genevievebodnar9388 Why do all that work making the queued armor stands move, when it would be even more realistic for them _not_ to move?
is anyone else not able to find S10 E1 and the last ep of S9?
yes!! and maybye for the other door the person can basically have a treasure hunt with a series of clues and stuff
@aishwaryaarora3354 it would be even better if the treasure hunt, never ends at the DHP. Lol.
DHP suggestion:
Have a ticket system that gives out tickets (named papers) to hermits with really high numbers while a counter of some kind (decorative not functional) on the desk has an extremely low number (under 10 or something)
It would be really funny to have hermits come in and get a high number ticket, only to have a low number called out
"I'm ticket number 95 Grian" "That's awesome, take a seat. Now calling number 2"
Doubling down on this. I really want to see an incredibly long line of armor stand characters inside the building waiting to get to the desk!
For bonus emotional damage there's a small chance to receive a negative number
Oh god if this happens Grian won’t be the one starting the war.
YES
@@thebigcheese8715YES LMAO
"THEY'RE COARSE AND THEY GET INTO EVERYTHING" !?! Scar pulls out prequel reference and makes it seem like a natural part of conversation
Grain: "... the dullest building you've ever seen"
Grain: *proceeds to create an amazingly beautiful building with lots of texture and an amazing colour scheme*
ah yes... very dull...
-Have you considerd that your Itam or entity is safe for snail consumtion?
- On a scale of AFK to ping 437, how much demand do you think your Itam or entity have?
-Do you have any plans of basing your shop on the shape of a cod?
- Has the moon gotten big?
- Using only one word, why have you chosen that specific Itam or entity?
I love the last one.
HAS THE MOON GOTTEN BIG
using consistent typo to drive them crazy / to gaslight them which is the correct spelling,
gotta love it.
Is your store afk safe
snail cunsumtion
The ultimate proof of frustrating bureaucracy is when you have multiple forms that depend on each other: Form A has the question "Have you submitted and been approved on form B?" and Form B has "Have you submitted and been approved on Form A?" Or at least requiring 2-3 other forms before form A can be submitted
YES
Almost had this happen to me at the dmv. I didn't have a full license and my learner's permit had expired, so I was getting a non-driver's ID so they could have that on record at my new job. They of course needed multiple forms of identification, including a form *issued by my state's government*. So to get a state issued ID, you needed to prove who you were by supplying your state issued ID. Took half an hour to find a list of suitable alternatives.
33:21 "we said we were gonna self regulate? Well, someones gonna do it-"
As a disabled person, this is just like the DWP! Doing everything they can to make sure nobody gets help.
Now it just needs tricks to catch people out, like how interviews for mobility issues are never scheduled on the ground floor so when claimants show up their claim can be immediately dismissed on the grounds that they managed to get to the room. Or how for vision issues interviewers will wordlessly offer a glass of water and if the claimant acknowledges it their claim will be dismissed on the grounds that they could see the glass of water. I have so many stories - I guess I just needed to vent a little.
Ideas for bureaucracy:
- Character References: Certain forms should require at least two references. Those hermits will be contacted and required to fill out a recommendation before the original form can be processed.
- Help Requests: In the event that a form should SOMEHOW take too long to process, there should be a whole string of forms required to submit a help request in order to move the form along.
- Numerical Specifics: Forms involving permits should require specific numerical information about the exact dimensions, location, and block counts of the venue in which the permit will be used. Any violation of these specifics upon actual shop construction can result in, of course, more paperwork.
- Terms of Service: Before any hermit can process any form, they should be required to agree to the DHP Terms of Service, which can include several annoying hurdles tucked away inside of a long list of stipulations.
- Essay Questions: Certain questions on the forms should be short-answer or essay questions, rather than quick yes/no questions.
- Form Replacements: To save on typing out books, you might gently remind your fellow permits that the permit office is run free of charge, and that certain needs must be met in order to keep it running. Therefore, any completed form must be accompanied by a fresh, empty copy of the original form upon submission. Thus making sure you stay stocked.
- Satellite Offices: Some forms simply aren't in stock here at the main office, but might be in stock at one of the satellite offices. These offices are located in various hidden places around the map, and the directions to find them are, for whatever reason, cryptic and vague.
- Lunch Break: Somehow, the employees at the permit office are on lunch break right now, right at the moment when you needed something.
- Appointment Scheduling: Certain forms must be completed with a permit office representative, requiring an appointment to be set up in advance. Fortunately, the permit office provides all the forms required in order to sign up for appointments. Some of these forms require an appointment.
- Expiring IDs: In order to submit forms of any kind, a valid form of ID is required. However, since time passes much more quickly in Minecraft than in real life, IDs also expire frequently and must be renewed before any further action can be taken.
- The Fax Machine: Some forms must be faxed to the regional headquarters for approval. Unfortunately, the fax machine is often broken.
do you happen to work for my local dmv?
Dude, seems like you have some stories with your local government.
These are fantastic
LUNCH BREAK LMAO
YESS
permit office ideas:
- a toilet that's (always) out of order
- a no-smoking area
- an identification system except it always says "photo not clear" or "person not recognised" or something along those lines
- a snack machine with extremely expensive snacks
- an important area that is under construction (like the horse holes) so that people REALLY don't wanna visit
- a flickering broken light that you can also see from the outside (extremely annoying when your visiting)
- maybe something like doc did last season with the megaphone thingy where it just keeps repeating like "unfortunately all of our employees have gone on a fishing trip today and will not be returning until tomorrow morning" or "employee 12345 to the managers office please" and stuff like that
- a little "please take a number" machine that everyone has to use (even when there a no other customers)
really cool vid Grian! started watching hermitcraft again this season and I'm really enjoying your videos so far :)
Wait those ideas are SO GOODDD
Omg i love these!
Yes
Let the "other door" be an entrance in the back marked "Employees Only". Then send them on a fetch quest since they're your employee. Make them bring a quantity of snail slime, or a #2 lead pencil (renamed oak fence) available from JoeHills. Make them accurately report how many teeth Gem's Angler Fish has.
"Have you started a Mycelium Infestation as of recent?"
“Have you ever tried to catch a cloud?”
(Whisper, “Asking for a friend” if they read the question aloud.)
Don't forget to leave room for a mailbox in the office! That way you can force hermits to mail in specific forms.
Of course not all forms are accepted via mail, and other forms require a mailed-in pre-form to initiate.
As a bonus, any issues that arise from having to transfer forms via mail can just be passed off to the post office. :)
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Oh man, this made me realize that Pearl will need to file for a stamp permit soon... Seems like the perfect opportunity to have her mail in a form, but immediately invalidate it for use of unauthorized stamps.
Yes yes yes, involve the mail!
yes yes yes
@@NettaiIncredible these comments are reaching the very peak of evil
You need a labelled chest for "Complaints" to be submitted to, that takes the written book away through redstone and visibly deposits it into a block of lava. Possibly consider alternative chests either side for "Suggestions" and "Completed Forms" that end up in the exact same place.
Also a numbered ticket dispenser and a "Next to be Seen" sign with a number on display that changes only once in a blue moon.
I hope he sees this comment
The sign is 3 digits, all the tickets are 4
Not complaints... A survey of how to improve the experience.
"Have you spent at least an hour fishing for mending today?"
Would be funny if a hermit were to have parked their horse in the horse pit or the garage, when they're about to leave, give them a fine or a penalty for some wacky reason like "Horse's well-being was not regularly checked during your visit"
Or how about "Your Horse has been inpounded for staying parked during non parking hours.
Since it took them soo long to fill out the forms.
@@jackalenterprisesofohio that's even better!
And of course give them a penalty if they DO walk out and check on their horse
I like this.. 😂 It should take twice as long to get a parking permit for the horse, as it will to go through what you were actually there to do... Only to then come back to a fine for missing hay permit or something. 😂
Some redstone to lock horses away, the key is a "Validated Parking Permit" that is sold for 20 Diamonds inside, or can be acquired for free from the vending machine that is fully accessible but completely hidden. I almost hate parking garages as much as Gov'mint offices.
Idea: Fill the office with carpeted flooring and hide magma blocks under the carpets close to the desk so anyone who visits cannot get a permit without taking damage. You can explain this by saying that it’s their soul being drained, and make a no sneaking-rule so they can’t avoid the magma blocks. This way, anyone who visits has to get frost walker boots to get a permit since the process will be so tedious that they will die from magma blocks if they don’t have the boots (frost walker negates magma block damage).
I love this idea!
If anybody sneaks in the office, call them out for "acting suspicious" and boot them out of the building!
There's no shoes allowed on the carpet because it'll make the carpet dirty lol
Mumbo has walked into the danger zone while fighting a hermit permit
And you can only wear black leather armor in the office
Grian I would suggest adding a take a number inside and a few lines that lead to windows. When people get near the end it pops a sign up saying closed please proceed to next window.
For the permits, make them give in the forms in Quadruplicate, but don't allow it to be signed since it needs to be stamped by you to get to the next step(don't tell this ofc, so when they sign it you can reject them)
So they'll have to manually, by hand type out the form many times.
For another sign, you could post ridiculously restrictive office hours, like "Open 1:00-1:25 pm on every second Tuesday of the month (time zone may vary)."
Permit Form Question ideas:
"Have you ever participated in a mass-egging of another Hermit's base? If yes, then please write the time, location, and reason for the egging."
"Have you ever been accused of war crimes?"
"Have you ever been convicted of regicide?"
"If you were to choose a secret code word, what would it be and why?"
"Have you previously been a premium member of Sahara?"
"What is your height?"
"Have you previously run for, or held, a position in public office? If yes, fill out details of prior experience"
"Have you or someone you loved ever been a victim of fraud? If so, how was Scar involved?"
"How many beds have you broken while BDubs was trying to sleep?"
"Have you ever fished up a Mending book in the past? Please list the dates and locations of each instance"
(time zone may vary) made me cackle
THIS IS S O GOOD
These are such good questions LMAO
oh my goodness these are SO GOOD LOL
made me laugh out loud muliple times, thank u so much lol
The height question will definitely get under BDubs skin lol