Fears of Being LGBTQ+ Parents | ft.
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- čas přidán 2. 03. 2020
- Talking about different perspectives on the fears and processes of having kids when you're LGBTQ+
Jessicas Video: • Being LGBTQ+ parents: ...
Shaabas Channel: / @shaaba
My Insta: / jammi.dodger - Zábava
![Being LGBTQ+ parents: Things we are excited about! ft. @Jammidodger and @shaaba [CC]](/img/n.gif)
Jessica looks like she's dressed for a whole different event than everyone else in the video and I'm absolutely in love with it.
She's so beautiful.
its honestly how she dresses day to day and after watching for like a year I don't even notice anymore haha
@@vivipeluche7234 damn she a classy broad 👌
A.J. Millo it’s true! She and her wife went to Malaysia a couple years ago and that was the only time I’ve ever seen her *somewhat* casual. But it was still dressier than I ever am. 😂
Jessica is always in very pretty clothes
Thank you for having me guys! It's always delightful xx
❤
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard i haven’t seen you before this but i loved you in this video. ❤️
A Largebucket she’s a total QUEEN.
love you!!!! i got so excited seeing this
Thank you for sharing your experience with us! It's really great seeing LGBTQ representation on big topics like this
That red velvet dress is everything.
Yes! And the pearls! She looks so pretttyyy hellppp
@@VictoriaMeira7 I know, I may need a fainting couch to handle that much Gorgeous!
@@nancybeveridgetaylor3256 she needs one too lol
@@nancybeveridgetaylor3256 Same
she’s a girl in red 👀
"I've been gay since birth" - can't relate, I've only been gay since JK Rowling assigned me a sexuality
Em best comment
Hello Albus.
@Katrina S Rather she's a petty, back-alley TERF. Being a huge one hurts sales.
Would've been better if your name was a Harry Potter character
There it is, the best comment on youtube
It was really nice to hear Claudia and Jessica's story. As a lil baby lesbian, things like relationships, marriage and babies seem so out of reach. I hope to be this happy with someone one day
Jess and Claude are definitely Lesbian Relationship Goals.
@@alliem8700 Relationship goals in general to be honest, they just seem to be so supportive of each other, that's all I could ever wish for ♥️
As another baby lesbian, I relate.
I hope that you get what you wish
As a lil' baby lesbian in a relationship, marriage isn't out of reach for me, but babies are. My darling don't like babs. But we're extremely happy with the idea of puppies! So its quite wondrous even without children being an option.
Shaaba: You know what I can’t resist? Little baby feet.
Claudia, Jessica, and Jamie: 😩😩😩
i READ THAT AS SHE SAID IT
I dunno why but the three 😩😩😩 next to each other is super hilarious
you have like no replies for some reason here you go
LMAO WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY 😩😩😩
@@Mufong. ME TOO!
Thanks for watching spuds, we are now MORE BROODY THAN EVER. 💛
You are a pure icon.
Thanks for being a bright light shining in all of our lives!
I will be patiently waiting for that announcement 👀👀
Aww, wish you both loads of happy parenthood for the very near future!
lol the subtitles, at some point claudia said "your own biological child" and the subtitles said "your own barbecue child"
yum
Omg
Delicious
I giggled out loud, thank goodness I'm alone
Right? These subs are hilarious. 😅
"I have been gay since birth" mood
...... same tho
Oh my god this is the cross over I didn't realise I needed!!!!!!!!!!
Yeaaasssssss
They did one 3 months ago about being non-drinkers too, it's on Jessica's channel. They're sooo good!
600th like
Do I want to have kids ever? Nope. Am I still watching this vid with the biggest smile on my face? Absolutely
Glad to know I'm not the only one 😂
same lol
Honestly same
Same lol
if i want a child later ill probably adopt an older child
The adoption part got me. I’ve seen so many of my friends shame non-hetero couples for going through the process of trying to conceive and then turn around and shame hetero couples for adopting?!? “Well you should JUST adopt! The world is already overcrowded!!” “Wait but you can have babies easy why are you adopting?” Seriously starting to think I need some new friends...
Yeah, those people suck and they should stop shaming people so much
yeah like pick a side....or are they quietly eugenicist like dat 🤐
They just need a reason to hate people to distract from their own problems
Seriously. I am in a heterosexual marriage and my in law keeps trying to drop hints that we should just have biological children. They keep saying things like you know adoption is expensive, a biological child would be covered by insurance. We would rather adopt considering my medical history and as an adopted person myself have always loved the idea so this upsets my on a few levels really. Would love if people would just let everyone make the personal decisions they deserve to without the unsolicited input and wishes of others.
@@catmacmahon7470 Ah I see what it is, they want people to go with the least expensive option. Like that's anyone else's decision to make.
the four horsemen of lgbt influencers who would and will make incredible parents
Three Horsewomen and one Horseman?
Cis-Het here. I'd like to adopt. It is also a LONG, EXPENSIVE process. No one should be suggesting that you should 'just' adopt....
The options that we have looked into, where we live in the US, private adoption would cost somewhere around $35,000, and take 2-3 years most likely. A private international adoption doubles that cost. Foster>adoption is obviously a great alternative and has many pros (including the cost) but also has many cons. For example, my partner is hesitant to navigate the legal systems around Foster Care, and the messy family situations that can come with involved birth parents.
Also, there are relatively few kids that go up for adoption through fostercare. For the vast majority of foster kids, the goal is reunification with their birth families. Fostering in general is something I'd love to do. But if you want to adopt, especially if you have specific perameters such as 'non-disabled 0-2 year old' (which is the most common) you could be waiting years for a match.
@Treestump I don't know why, but sadly it's true. I can't find the source now, but in the past I've read that kids with disabilities are 90% less likely to be adopted. When you start the matching process with an agency or your counties foster system, you indicate what level of disability you are comfortable being matched with. I think that makes sense in some cases, for example right now I don't have the resources (space, time, money, etc) to support a child in need of continuous care, expensive medical visits or mobility aids. It just wouldn't make sense to match me with a kid who uses a wheelchair, since I live in a small, 4th floor apartment. Everyone involved wants the matches to be successful. That said, I suspect that often people looking to adopt want a 'healthy' child because they are scared of the alternative. Which is unfortunate.
@Treestump Not exactly. Even then you have to go through rigorous checks and home visits, and nothing may come of it. I have relatives that wanted to adopt a foster kid, and and they got pretty far in before being denied because he was military and they moved around. I don't know about the monetary cost, but its a fairly grueling process in other ways.
Alix J Definitely not expensive in England! You have to pay to present the papers at court, don’t know how much now £50 twenty years ago. Don’t know how much now but can’t have moved into the expensive range! If you are assessed in relation to a particular child not long either, probably not as long as a pregnancy!
This is the first time I've heard the word "broody" meaning "wanting to have a baby". I was really puzzled at first when (to my mind), you were talking about how moody and discontent you were. Thanks for introducing me to new British slang! 😄
lol I think it's a chicken term. Chickens go broody when they are wanting to hatch out a batch of eggs.
Saaame
I thought they were saying breedy hahahaha Hey learned another english word today i guess :P
Same 😄
Omg haha I don't even think of broody as slang - it's just a standard word here
I'm trans ftm and a dad, I had him before I came out. Even though he asks a lot of questions and it can get a bit awkward I know he still accepts me, which is a relief. I'm sure your kids will love you for you, so don't worry too much. Loads of weird questions coming your way from them but that's all part of being a parent.
I hope this is helpful, but I understand if it doesn’t, I don’t believe children are bigoted naturally. If anything I believe children are born accepting people for themselves, and external forces teach them various things, so in the ideal situation, a child would learn to only be more accepting.
To your kids, you are normal because well...they don't know any other way. They will be surprised to learn that other families aren't like yours. The problem you're going to have is from other kids whose parents haven't taught them that other families are different and that's good.
Really hope you do not resent your son for asking you weird questions or for reminding you of your past. He doesn't know any other way.
@@rodricksteal1729 no of course not, it's good for him to ask questions. He'll gain a more rounded view of the world that way.
@@sophiejones7727 I teach my children that each family is different they are 5 and 4 years old they say okay. But not sure if they understand fully
Shaaba: You know what I can't resist: Little baby feet.
Jamie and Jessica: Collectively loosing their broody minds.
The most ambitious crossover in history
OH MY GOD NEVER IN MY LIFE WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT THAT I'D SEE MY TWO FAVOURITE COUPLES IN THE SAME VIDEO HOLY SHIT
6:13 "my body already struggles a lot with anything relating to my hormones" I feel Jamie next to her, just sitting and nodding like "same"
Loved the video but I felt like I had to say something to Jessica:
I was raised by a single mother who is also a disabled person (she can't walk due to a car accident she suffered when she was a teenager, therefore she is in a wheelchair since then. I must add that she gave birth to my brother and I only when she was 30 years old).
I just want to say that loving her less because of her disability has never even crossed my mind. Actually, I only discovered that she was "different" from the other parents when I was at school, which literally didn't change the way I see her.
Prejudice and labels is something created and taught to us by society. My mom is only a human with needs such as anybody else...
Lastly, I personally believe that we were born as a white canvas, with no judgmental thoughts, only a heard ready to be filled with love.
And, once we love somebody, it doesn't matter their shape, only their soul...
That's all, you'll be an awesome mom and I'm sure your kids will recognise that.
(One last thing: you guys are really lovely and I'm thankful to you for keeping my gay heart warm)
Kisses from Brazil 🇧🇷
my dad's disabled and while as a kid there were maybe occasions where i thought it inconvenient, it also brought joy, such as when I would sit on his lap in the wheelchair and we'd roll down a slope and pretend to hit people (he would swerve out of the way last minute) - like every diversity, in being different from the 'norm', it isn't lesser it just has its own positives and its own difficulties
My mom has a disability too. She can't do 'everything', but I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful, loving, brilliant parent.
I'm a non-binary person with PCOS, and hearing that Shaaba also has it was oddly comforting. I don't want kids but I found this whole video to be so educational and adorable
As a brown person of south asian descent (she's mentioned IDing as such before), I thought it was really cool she was so open about it considering how much it disproportionately affects people of our (Shaaba & I's) ethnic group. I'm a trans dude, but even before I knew that, PCOS had a pretty big impact on my life and how I thought of myself.
@Elio I got diagnosed about 5-6 years ago but it took me a few years for it to fully sink in. At first it didn't bother me because I wasn't interested in having kids, but there was some sense of disappointment at the back of my mind that felt like if I did change my mind in the future then there could be issues with conceiving. Having part of that choice taken away was harder to cope with than I had expected. Plus, there are so many other things that come from having PCOS that isn't well known that I didn't realise would affect me as much as it does.
@@walkingtalkingdread that isn't how PCOS works. It is inherited, so it has nothing to do with health.
Also, you shouldn't be making comments like that in the first place. Keep those to yourself.
@@walkingtalkingdread you can't "reverse" it. It is caused by cysts on ovaries, it can only be "reversed" if those cysts are removed. By living a healthier lifestyle you can lessen the symptoms, but it doesn't remove the fact that they still have PCOS. Whether someone is healthy or unhealthy doesn't determine whether they have it or not. If you have it, then you just have it. Only the symptoms can be lessened.
@@walkingtalkingdread I am just trying to understand why you thought your original reply was appropriate? I was simply commenting on how happy I was to share a personal thing with a person that I admire, and you thought that commenting on Shaaba's health was the right way to go?
TERF logic: You're not a woman unless you can have babies.
Hate that mindset which is why this video is so refreshing.
That doesnt only cut out trans women, which is stupid anyway, but even cis people who are unable to bear children, which just doubles the fucked-up-ness, both transphobic and ableist
That’s such an anti-feminist sentiment I just can’t...with TERF Logic.
FreyaEinde terfs became the thing they swore to destroy lol
Like that makes infertile woman not woman either..
you misunderstood.. that’s not what the women are pointing out
what they’re saying is that: not all women can give birth, but only women can give birth
get it?
trans women are not women because women are adult human females which is opposite from what trans women are
Honestly, I don’t really have an urge to be biologically related to my children. I’ve always known I never wanted to carry a child, I’m a lesbian, and I’ve a lot of adopted siblings, so I don’t really.. well, care.
kat.665_ Me too. I want kids but I couldn’t care less if they were biological. Also I am asexual. So personally I don’t really want to have sex or carry a child.
It's working out pretty well that I'm trans, I always knew I didn't want to have a kid biologically but now it's like another excuse that I physically won't be able to.
This is a really interesting point to me, I've never wanted kids either. I'm straight and I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years. I'm a carer at an Aged Care home, so I work with a lot of women, new mothers, mother's of three, grandmothers and great grandmothers. They lay the pressure on thickly, and barely any consider my stance of not wanting to give birth and leaning more towards adoption if any kids at all as rational womanly thinking. I don't think any of them consider the fact that most adopted kids are just stoked to be with their family just like any other child and just focus on the "but it's not really yours" viewpoint. It's really gross and disheartening.
@@Sarah-yd9ml you do you, don't let them get you down
Same. But recently I realized that I shouldn't be so harsh on people who feel differently. My extended family's attitudes towards adoption have always been favorable, and in general their attitude is that nurture trumps nature. The idea that an adopted child is not "really yours" would certainly not be considered a valid opinion.
If anything I'm more comfortable with the idea of adopting a kid than playing the lottery of biology. If I can choose the kid, then I feel there's a greater chance that I can adequately care for that child. Partly this has to do with the relationship I have with my mother. We've had a rocky relationship, but I can't be too hard on her. Neither she nor my dad were really emotionally stable when they had kids. He had mommy issues, which she was having to deal with at the same time as an autistic two year old AND she still had her own issues left over from her mother's death. She could not have done any better than she did. But I'm not going to repeat that mistake.
Jamie: "Little pooping, crying machines"
Jessie: "Wait what?"
Claudia: "Yeah, I know"
😆😆😆
When Jamie said that he was afraid of his kid rejecting him, that tore me up a little. Imagine his kid watching this video back in the future finding out that his dad was afraid of this :(
if I was in the position of the kid tbh, I’d be pretty grateful for such openminded parents :)
I have chosen to be child free - kids just never did anything for me. But, I really do believe all any child needs is to be loved - to feel safe, to be nurtured, to be cared for. Who does that just shouldn't matter - as in if your parents are two moms, two dads etc. I hope you all find a way to have your families - who will no doubt grow up to love and care for you because you will clearly love them.
P:S I think I now belong to the "older generation" (that's scarey, it's my birthday tomorrow) Please don't think we're all judgemental. 😀 People are people, wouldn't it just be better if we all accepted that rather than judging and hating? Good luck to you all, may all your baby dreams come true 💕💕💕💕
Happy birthday 🎉🎂🎈
Happy birthday! ❤️
Happy birthday!!!🥳
Thank you for nice and kind child free representation! I'm hopefully on the similar road. I wish to be like you in the future 🙂
I don't need children but not opposed to it. Maybe adopting a child out of foster care. But children love me. Even in 3rd grade the preschoolers followed me at recess. And sometimes when I'm at the store I turn around and there's a baby smiling at me or a toddler following me. I now children have a better sense of smell so do I smell like a mom, maybe? At the same time I don't want to smell like a mom cause I'm trans male.
Happy Birthday!
Me: a genderfluid polyamorous bisexual
My partner: a polyamorous bisexual transwoman
Our kids will have very interesting moms
As a viramoric nonbinary transman engaged to a queer transman, i feel this
seeing these comments is filling my heart with joy, no exaggeration.
Yo I’m in the exact same situation except my partner isn’t poly so we’re mono together :-)) whats goooood bro
@@jxck-in-the-boxnimble2425 I just found out what viramoric means from this, and well I resonate lol. I wish the best for all of the future families here ❤️
@@jxck-in-the-boxnimble2425 what does viramoric mean?
This was a topic I hadn't wanted to look into because I'd just resigned myself to not having kids... And this makes me feel like I can. Thank you all for that.
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!! MY TWO FAVOURITE COUPLES DOING A COLLABORATION.... TOO. GOOD. TO. BE. TRUE.
As a human who has never really wanted kids, this is like watching aliens.
Same, idk if it's because im infertile or because im gay but i dont have that maternal feeling
Asura Heterodyne same
hahaha I don't want kids either - my sister recently had a baby about 6 weeks ago & I love that little boy more than anything but it has confirmed that I really don't want kids 😂😂
Me too. I'm very maternal if I'm put in a situation with kids or someone dependent, but I absolutely do not want to raise a child, or to carry a baby.
Sole Survivor your comment and user name together... I hope you’re doing okay. Wish you the best
My friend/ex partner is days away from delivering right now. She lives with her husband and their fiancee and its an amazingly supportive, wonderful environment that they are bringing a child into. They didnt think they were going to have a child naturally, so the original plan was that they were going to move to a different state that would allow third parent/LGBT adoptions. Even now, so many people are dismissing mom#2 because she is not biologically attached to the child. It's such a unique situation but the judgment they have gotten from others is staggering to me.
Aww that’s horrible that people are reacting so poorly!!! I’m glad that kid seems like they’re gonna be in a really great situation!!! Good look to your friend and her family!!!
Shannon Stutsman Wow, they’re allowed to marry another person? That’s awesome! I’m pretty sure it’s illegal where I’m from. Good luck to your friend.
its so exiting knowing that when this was filmed jessica and cladia were trying to consive awwwww
I love this LGBTQ+ parenting positivity!
We recently had CPS called on us and one of their reasons was because we are transgender...
Love the idea of moving to the UK! Haha, America isn’t very safe for us right now.
Definitely been planning to emigrate since 2016. This country is going downhill while other countries are just getting more and more progressive
We should start a group move like America is a dumpster fire I want to move to Canada or the UK but its scary
Wait what?
JosephcatZ _
They claimed we were spending more on hormones than on the kids when we literally spend $20 a month max on transitional medication.
Alexander Phoenix
A) why would they think that?
B) If you don’t mind, was this in a right or left leaning state?
C) do you know who called them on you? If so, do they have a grudge against you or something?
Cishet people: you don't want kids? That's a waste of such good genes
Also cishet people: there's so many kids that need to be adopted, meanwhile I'm going to go make my own babies with my partner
^^ This
Am cishet, but disabled and childree by choice and people have so many questions when I say I don't want children. I really don't want to go into my medical history and personal experiences to explain to classmates or co-workers why that's the right choice for me and how I know for sure.
What is cishet?
Oh wait let me guess. Cis and heterosexual
@@marieantoinettepaddelboot3149 Yes
@@bonniea8189 what i hate is that i totally could have children by the traditional, biological route, given my body and the relationship i'm in, but like...i don't want to???? like i really just don't want to do that. and people make me feel like i need more of a reason to not want to become a mother using my perfectly good uterus, as though i'm not the one who gets to decide what my body is "for"
BUT ALSO i do happen to have an above-average level of risk involved in getting pregnant, but that should be rendered irrelevant as soon as i say I DON'T WANT IT. but even when i do bring that up as an excuse, a lot of people encourage me to put myself in danger and so extremely much pain for the sake of a baby i don't want to make because "it'll all be worth it". i'm telling y'all it won't be worth it for me.
My issue with "why don't you just adopt?" is that it's usually presented as a consolation prize. Jessica is stunning, as always, with everything on point.
I'm studying child care, and today we talked about different types of families and how to make room for diversity in (Danish) preschools and schools. Just to say that it is definitely a topic that's being discussed by the professionals who are going to take care of your children. It was very interesting to hear your fears, I hope I can take that awareness with me once I start working with children and their families.
good for you!
I agree with you so much with people who say “why don’t you just adopt?” It’s really rude, and they don’t try to make you feel better, it makes you feel guilty for wanting your own biological child.
In school we just started talking about sex and all that stuff and we are talking abt lgbt stuff and as a non-straight individual I think that that’s really nice bc it’s very normalized. Also this video is so interesting!
Wow lucky all my school does is straight stuff and porn (and this is in the UK)
I was in 9th grade in 1999. We were never taught anything other than cis-het, monogamous folks and we were made to repeat several times that abstinence was the only way to keep from having "terrible" consequences of pre-marital sex (STIs and pregnancy).
Needless to say, that confused the crap out of my bi, NB, polyamorous self. I'm super happy younger folks are getting an education that is more inclusive! It's okay to be who you are, love who you love, and enjoy what you enjoy!
Abra Morgan oh that sounds terrible, luckily I’m from Sweden and we’re all very accepting and all of that in my school😊
I wish my school did that, it would have made me realize I'm bi so much sooner.
Can't relate but good for you 👍🏻
Children love parents who love them, all 4 of you are lovely people and and will make lovely parents x x
THE CROSSOVER I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED (caps necessary to show enthusiasm)
Who else is watching this again after Jessica and Claudia announced their pregnancy?!
Yessssss! It’s crazy only just coming across this video now 💕
In the United States, at least in California, it’s the same with people who are disabled. They want to make sure that you can take care of a baby. When I was born, my mom (she’s in a wheelchair) had a lady come every day for about 6 months to see how she took care of me.
This is even more incredible to watch after little Rupert has been born. I’m so happy for Jessie and Claud and their little baby!
Jessica looks like a queen
JDJSJSNSKWKWJDKFD I LOVE ALL OF YOU I CANT BELIEVE YOU FILMED TOGETHER
also as a British person I’m trying to imagine how British this seems to others ahah 😂
Very British indeed 😂
It is incredibly British but I love it!
As a Croatian, I can say-very British. Which is great! Listening to Brittish accents helps me push my own English into somewhat vaguely British-sounding accent as I prefer it over American.
Quite British lol. I'm American 🙏
Well that's one of the reasons I've watched this 😂
15:05 Ah, I have an explanation for this.
I'm a trans man and I'm pansexual. My girlfriend is bisexual. Since we are a male and female in a relationship, it is technically hetero. HOWEVER, we say it is a bi-pan relationship. My friend is bisexual and his partner is straight. They are a bi-straight relationship.
TLDR, Take the sexualities and mix them. There's the relationship. Example, bi-pan, bi-straight, ace-gay, gay-pan, demi-queer or whatever else. If it's two straights, straight and if the sexualities match, it's that relationship. (Gay, pan, bi, ace, queer)
James Jones this is exactly what I was trying to say as well
I love that u added dimi
@@kirstentippit5286 My little sibling is demi, besides, they need more repersentation!
My partner and I are bi(him)-pan(me, female)
My boyfriend and I are in a bi-ace relationship and it’s fantastic
This conversation was, thoughtful, sensitive, informative, and well,-just brilliant!! I can see that as intelligent young people you are trying to look down every path, to see where it might lead, and weight each and every option, so that you will have the optimum outcome. I am the mother of 9 children (2 biological & 7 adopted), children that some were arduously planned out, and others literally dropped at our doorstep, children from 4 different ethnic backgrounds,and 2 of the LGBT persuasion. I just want to say, that in the end, no matter where your children biologically originate, you will realize, that the seeds of those special little beings were first fertilized in the deepest recesses of your heart and soul. That they will be a direct “genetic” product of your love, mercy, kindness, passion, humor, and tolerance of others. When they come to you, you will recognize them as yours, and all the organic stuff will be secondary ♥️! I’m just crazy about you kids🤗❣️
So i had my daughter about a year before i came out (came out as trans masc at 25) and me and my fiancee (cis man) broke up almost immediately. Where as he and i are amicable, i worry my daughter will resent me because she doesnt have a mom. I know there are gay couples and single dads with kids, but i just have this fear that she will reject me because i couldve been her mom but now im her dad. Im very open about me being trans so it wont blind side her because she will grow up knowing but it is still scary.
Don't worry about it. All children need is a loving nurturing environment. If she has such feelings you can talk to her about your life and your experience . If she feels proud and special for having a trans dad she won't resent not having a mother. It's very unlikely she will resent it , for most children with same sex parents it's the default anyway. Both parents should have similar roles in a child's life anyway, gender specific roles of parents are archaic.
@@nebula1oftheseven488 i agree. And i know i give her all the love and nurturing i can. Its honestly just a thing i worry about. No real basis. I guess i worry that "social norms" are going to make her think shes missing out? Idk hard to put into words.
@@XxAnoraxX I understand you can't help worrying that somehow she will think she missed out on something that almost everyone has. You sound like an amazing dad and if she grows up aware of other LGBT+ families it's very unlikely she will be upset about it. You know how kids are they want to be special and having a trans dad is pretty darn special. Don't worry about it, it's our internalised demons coming for us.
@@nebula1oftheseven488 thank you so much! You sound like an amazing human! I appreciate your kind words! I hope you have an excellent day.
So long as you love her and teach her the values of love and acceptance surely that will go the longest way. You clearly care and worry about your child enough you want the best for them.
You can do this and it would be clear that if you go on the path that will make you most happiest, it will reflect to your child seeing how much happier you will be to pursue what makes you ‘you’.
Jessica saying "why do you call them spuds?" in the last seconds of the video... flawless editing choice
You all bring up such big fears that we all as potential parents feel - but your candid perspectives allow us to consider that there are so many more questions out there than the ones we've been conditioned to ask/worry about. You're all such thoughtful, caring individuals, and I hope that whatever parenting path you may find yourselves on, that you'll find boundless fulfilment and love.
I loved this video so much!! So interesting. And Jessica and Claudia seem sweet af. Definitely gonna stick around to see you and Shaaba start a family💜
They are so lovely 💛
Thank you 😊
Knowing they were actively trying already at the time this was shot is so cool! I am very happy for Jessie and Claud and their little baby and only wish them the best!
I have been wishing and hoping that IVG will be possible when my wife and I start wanting to try for children. Ever since I met her I have imagined a child that looks like us both. And I can't give her a child the way my mates can with their wives and partners.
same , I'm super young and I don't even have a gf but that is how I want to carry my children
Couldn't you also try finding a surrogate/sperm donor that looks like one of you? I'm not sure about the specifics of it sorry lol.
Lowkey Lonely We will likely look for a sperm donor that looks like me, however, I cannot help but wish for a child that is genetically ours. Also I struggle with a child having siblings that they do not know, like from a donor. But if I use a donor I know...I have to think about the fact that my mate’s sperm has been in my wife haha.
I CANT BELIEVE MY IDOLS APPEARED IN THE SAME FRAME I CANT
Who else is watching this in 2021 when Claudia is pregnant?!
yup that's meeeee
it's funny how different it hits now
I don’t know if it was filmed before they started trying to get pregnant but it’s so sweet to hear Jessica and Claudia talk about how broody they are to know they have their own baby on the way now!
Me a Genderfluid person: I want IVF even though I can have a "normal" baby I don't feel comfortable being pregnant and it may effect me getting surgery or anything.
Homophobic cis people: *wHy DoN't YoU jUsT gEt PrEgErRrRrRrRrS?*
Me:
Gender dysphoria: **let me introduce myself**
I don't want to be a downer but IVF still requires the fertilized embryos to be implanted into a uterus so unless I'm missing something here like you having a partner who also has a uterus, even if you go the IVF route you'd still need to be pregnant. I'm absolutely not trying to downplay your dysphoria because, from personal experience, being pregnant while experiencing dysphoria is awful. But IVF doesn't eliminate the need to be pregnant, and you're only going to be able to skip that part if you have a partner or a surrogate with a uterus who is capable and willing to carry a baby instead of you.
Adopting a child isn't charity, it's a decision that has to come from your heart, it's also a huge responsibility. Adopted children often have gone through some type of trauma (whether they remember it or not). Adopting children is not playing house nor something you do "to be a good person", it often has additional challenges and it's not something everyone can do. STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO ADOPT AS IF IT WAS A SOCIAL DUTY OR SOMETHING EASY.
This is brilliant! I love you all separately and I didn't even consider how brilliant this Collab would be!
Having kids of my own is a major fear of mine. Even when I was younger I never wanted to have children and I dont feel motherly or broody from anything. Even spending time with my baby niece and nephew, I feel no urge or want for a baby. I am in a heterosexual, cis relationship so family just expects us to have kids at some point. I want to adopt because I'm terrified of pregnancy and I would rather give a child another chance at a good life, then bring one into the world myself. My husband and I are so set on not having children (and only adopting if we want in the future) that we considered sterilization. But my sister-in-law's husband is sterile and they had to pay thousands of dollars for years for fertility treatment and had to endure a miscarriage before having their two babies via IVF. Now I feel guilty for "wasting" my uterus on actively choosing to not have children, while someone in my family struggled so hard to conceive. But in the end, it's my body and my choice and I just have to keep reminding myself that. In the meantime, I'll continue to spoil and dump all my love onto my niece and nephew.
Thank you this is very helpful for me.
I presume due to the fact you are married I'm younger than you (still in school) but my parents keep saying I should have kids in the future and everyone else in my family has tried really hard to have kids although none have had to go through fertility treatments but only just. It always makes me feel bad that I don't intend to consider biological kids just maybe adopt a kid aged like 5 or something. I've never wanted to have kids and you've sorta helped me realize that my parents views really don't matter
So thanks
I love how they talked about how chill and accepting the new generation is. That young kids don’t really thinks it’s weird to be LGBTQ+ they are so accepting
and now claudia is pregnant!
Right. I so can't wait for the baby hauls.
the amount of british slang used in this video is so impressive to me. every twelvth word they say im like "what??"
It's so true. Everyone is like 'why don't you just adopt?' ;n; we want to but at the same time we want biological baby. I'm so glad you addressed that.
And now Claudia is pregnant!
This aged wonderfully! Welcome to the world, baby Rupert!
Shaaba and Jessica melting about those wellies while their partners just nod and smile is the best thing I've ever seen.
I have had baby fever since I was 16 and started working for Babies R US. 22 now and despite being in a long term committed relationship need to remind myself I can't afford kids yet. The "Yet" is what gets me through to the next day.
the fact that Jessica and Claudia are acc pregnant now... i love it
It made me cry, when Jessica told about her fear that because she's disabled, all of her love won't be enough 😭 I really believe that it's not gonna be a case though - she's 100% gonna be an awesome mom, just as everyone else in this video gonna be amazing parents as well ❤️
Oml that’s the collab we’ve all been waiting for and I can’t wait to watch it later ahhhhhhh
For Jessica - My single for a long time parent was also disabled, and very often could not get out of bed either. Neither me nor my brother even ever considered any sort of rejection. You'll be loved!
watching this after the announcement... I'm not crying. 😭
i LIVE FOR this collab, four of my favorite people together talking about very important issues for 26 minutes!! living
Hey just wanted to let you know that there are quite a few oddities in the CC, like claudia is referred to as "Rodya" several times and there are other weird words thrown in. Thank you for CC but just wanted to let you know of that
Edit: fixed grammar/clarity
Oh shoot! I thought it was just the standard craptions but no, it's actually submitted as bad captions. It was so hard to follow the video with them :c
"You know what I can't resist? Little baby feet."
Everybody: * Melts* Aww...
last week i legit thought "haha those two couples should collab, they're in a similar situation"
I love everyone in this video! It's the collab I never knew I needed
this really is a collab i did not realise i needed, i literally love all of these people
I was adopted at 7 years old, and the “just adopt” thing bothers me to no end.
Adoption is often painful for adoptees even when things go well. Identity crisis’ abound. No one should be adopting at all unless it is something they want to do because they want to do it, and have good reasons for doing it. Adoption should not be used as a contingency plan for those who wanted biological children and couldn’t. At least not until those people have healed from the pain of being unable to have biological children. It’s just a lot of pain to expect a child to take away.
Not to mention it’s a long and often invasive, expensive process that can often come with complications and almost always involves birth parents/first parents who need to be considered.
So basically, there is no “just” in adoption.
YEs MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING THIS COLLAB IS EVERYTHINGGGG
I love how you can tell that you guys have gotten closer/more comfortable with each other since the last video you did together!
This collab made my brain so happy! I started following both couples at the same time and to see everyone together is so METAMETAMETA.
Okay so in mtf and Jessica is the transition goal 🥺
Lowkey this video made me kinda sad... having kids is gonna be so expensive and harder for me than it would for a straight person :(
Love these collabs SO much, such a great, warm group of people, so respectful and sweet. I love it!
Omg this is the best Collab ever and I haven't even watched it yet. You tube sand the world needed this
My favourite people on CZcams in one video I'm blessed
As someone with a disabled parent it will not mean your children feel any differently about you. I also think you're underestimating how valuable emotional stability is, that's an amazing thing to provide a child.
AHHH. I love both of these channels!! God this is a collaboration long overdue
I discovered both your channels at about the same time and really love both. This is the crossover I always wanted.
As someone who was raised in unusual circumstances - my parents and I have disabilities and I didn't live with them but saw them all the time. I want to reassure you all that children just accept whatever situation their in as totally normal.
This is the collab I have literally always dreamed about
As someone who is currently pregnant, this is really interesting. I work in a nursery and one of my key children has 2 mummies. It's so natural to their family and to all of us around them, it's no different to anyone than a 'regular' family. It was quite sweet that one mum birthed the baby and supplied the egg, and the other mum supplied the surname, I love that
OMG Claudia at 25:20 - Great laugh. Wonderful information and insights to the system and you personally. Thank you everyone. Much love. Also- I would like to know about "spuds" as well. Sad that cut cut off.
OMG THIS IS THE COLLAB I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED IM JUST GONNA GET A BUNCH OF WORK DONE AND THEN WATCH IT OMG
I'm a trans man in a relationship with a cis man. Biologically speaking, we can create children the "traditional" way and have a child we're both biologically the parent of. But I've known since I was 5 that pregnancy was not for me. As a teen I learned that I have a condition that would make the pregnancy high risk. Very good chance baby and I would die before delivery. And I have genetic things that I don't want to pass on. So adoption seems best for me. My partner said that if he were to have kids he would want them to be related to him. For some reason I can't stand the idea of having children related to only one of us. Like, they would only have one "real" dad, and I'm just someone living there. People wouldn't see me as their parent because only my partner played a part in making them.
In the end we decided on no kids. Which has actually been a huge relief. I didn't realize the societal expectation of being a mother was stressing me out so much. Making me feel like I had to want kids and be pregnant when it really wasn't the right life for me.
best crossover ever oh my goshhhh
I found ur channel more recently and I hadnt seen this yet and I screamed because THEY ARE MY FAVORITE INSTAGRAM ACCOUT!! AAA This was wonderful
Just on the whole Maternity/paternity/biological parent thing I thought I'd add this one really wholesome thing. My song teacher is always gushing about her brother and his partner and this is especially after they announced they were having a kid (through surrogacy). So my song teacher is always on about how great they are and she loves the kid to death even before the kid is born.