Reacting to your trans fails and confessions with my partner Shaaba! Shaaba's Channel: / shaaba17 Our Twitch: / shaabaandjamie Submit a fail/confession: Sorry, we now have a lot of submissions!
funny trans thing: I'm non-binary (afab), and I'm one of the enbies that dresses very androgynous/masculine. I get called sir at restaurants pretty much all the time. My family's pretty unaccepting and gets really pissed whenever it happens. So one time we went to Applebee's and the waiter, who was obviously gay, asked me what I'd like to drink and referred to me as sir. I just answered and inwardly celebrated, but my mom got mad. She goes, "Excuse me, that's my daughter!" I rolled my eyes and just said, "It's fine, I'm not bothered" My mom goes, "Well I'm bothered, you're a girl!" The waiter deadass looked my mom in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry sir, I couldn't tell" Side note: my mom refused to tip him, so I gave him 20 bucks on the way out
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice omg that is amazing i should do this to my girlfriends dad next time he insults me on being trans and tries to be me and her up
I was wearing my Non-binary bracelet and coming back from a pride event. And I wasn't out to my Uncle. And this bracelet was the flag colors and had 'Non-binary' on it. I forgot to take it off and he saw it. He said "What's your name and what are your pronouns?" I cried.
i mean... who wouldnt love someone like that? like all you asked for was acceptance, and she went the extra mile just to show she cares. not to be a downer but i would kill for parents like that tbh
I get sir and ma'am in about equal measure no matter what I wear, and honestly that's about as close to getting correctly gendered as I'm likely to get by strangers yeah. Everyone assumes I'm cis though for some reason, including other trans people.
People incorrectly correcting themselves happens pretty often with me (I'm genderfluid and only out to my friends). Right now, my hair is really short and I look and act masculine. I usually wear baggy shorts and shirts as well. Whenever my family and I go out, people usually say 'son' or 'sir' instead of 'miss' and I love it, even if I'm female or enby that day. It really sucks when my parents put a bunch of emphasis on 'daughter' to correct them. Story: Once when we had gone out, a waiter had called me 'Sir' and my parents did the 'daughter' thing. The waiter just smiled and glanced at me (my face is blank whenever my parents 'correct' people) and gave me a nod and returned to taking out orders. Twenty or so minutes later, he comes back out with our food and calls me 'sir' again. Left and came back with refils, and called me 'Mr'. My parents were a bit mad and kept correcting him. He came back with the check and when my parents and brother were looking away, he tapped his chest pocket, which had a folded up trans flag. Parents took me back home but the waiter gave me a fistbump before we left. That man was a legend and he made me feel a whole lot happier for that week.
One of the stories reminded me of something that happened to me. A few years ago I had a test in school and I had gotten so used to my name that I wrote it on the test. Gladly it was one of my favorite teachers class and when she was returning the graded papers she quietly asked if it was mine. I was embarrassed but obviously said yes. After the class ended she asked me to stay for a bit and asked if I wrote the name myself or if it was someone else bullying me (if I remember correctly it was a smaller test so the students graded each others tests and the teacher looked them over). I then explained the situation and that I had gone by my name for a while and gotten really used to it and accidentally wrote it down. She was really supportive and asked if I wanted her to call me by my new name in class. It made me really happy. After that I explained my situation to other teachers I had and they all were very nice about it and even told other staff to call me by my new name. One of the teachers actually said that she had thought so when I told her I was trans. Sorry for writing so much, I just got really happy remembering that :)
This story is so lovely, I am so happy for you that you were met in this really vulnerable state with understanding and love. Good on you! I hope many, many others also experience supportive teachers and staff at their schools!
10:00 I once was in a similar situation. I went to get food and the person behind the counter apparently read me as male because of my clothes and was like "What can I get you, sir?" When I told her what I wanted, she seemed to think she had misgendered me, started to apologize, then got completely confused and eventually settled on "young person". I'm agender and she has no idea that she made my day.
I had a similar experience to the changing room one except I was with my mom and when the lady told me to go into the women's changing rooms (I'm ftm) my mom just goes "oh yeah, ya know he's getting older now. I don't really need to go with him anymore." And the lady kinda did a double take as I quietly shuffled into the men's changing area.
That's so sweet!!! I honestly don't get the separate changing room thing... I went men's clothes shopping (she/her here) and no one said a thing. Got a few weirded out looks from teenage boys though 😄
ItS funny how binary trans people feel awkward when a waiter or someone is confused by their gender (which is 100% valid) but then I'm like yes be confused my gender is unknowable! I I love when someone can't figure out my gender XD
Oh god yes! Few month back while shopping groceries there were to boys I always see in our neighborhood and they asked each other if I was a girl or a boy and it was so hecking funny to see their confusion 😂
Ehh idk I still feel hecka awkward when someone stumbles over my gender and I’m enby. Just the hyper focus on my gender gives me dysphoria. It doesn’t feel great when somebody “ma’am”s me but at least it can slide by unnoticed by others. Can’t really blame anyone tho bc I’m still confused by my gender on a regular basis despite years of introspection so 🤷🏻♂️ On the other hand it is nice when someone doesn’t just assume I’m female so I kinda get it. Guess it’s just somewhat down to the individual and situation. I prefer when people just assume I am a 12 y/o boy tbh
Even though I'm binary, I always laugh when people don't know my gender bc they get so flustered when they start thinking that someone might just not be binary lmaoooo
So true, once my younger brother's friend came over and couldn't figure out my gender but didn't know what nonbinary is so called me both "[younger brother]'s brother" and "[younger brother]'s sister" and I just had the goofiest, happiest smile on my face for the rest of the day, lol
I came out to my best friends parents before my own. Before i did, they said i was like another daughter to them. After i came out, they corrected themselves. "Babe! Turns out, we got another son! Our eldest daughters best friend!" "Sweet! Remind me to invite him when i take the boys fishing!" Was the reaction. Her dad takes her brothers fishing every year durring spring break. It was in my sophomore year and they didnt forget to take me fishing with them. Her dad even told someone asking that they stole a friends son for the week.
Hahaha. I've never tried?a potato. That's funny. I have packed before and it felt right. Thank God i didn't have any embarrassing episodes like the beach.
Forcing your child to wear something is mean and controlling, even if the child is cis (more so if trans... parents usually don't know that until later). For example I hated wearing uncomfortable dresses and jeans, while my brother got to pick what he wanted, just because it aligned with my mom's taste. I liked his style, but those options were not available to me, because it wouldn't "show my figure". Also: Mom nagging me to wear make up was annoying. My brother looked good enough without the extra effort, but I was supposed to put it in? Overdone gender roles, or rather sexism sucks. It's just as bad for boys, I assume (if not worse).
My mom made remarks on how I should dress more femininely (by which she meant dresses, because the jeans and shirts I wore were female). I was a stressed teenager with self-esteem issues and much more interest in hobbies than clothing. I mainly just wanted to feel comfortable. Her nagging didn't benefit my self-esteem. I hate it when moms do that and quite a lot of them do it.
@@Evija3000 Mine made a comment about how I should highlight my beauty with eyeliner. One of my hobbies is art and she tried to animate me by saying I should see my face as a canvas. Made me kinda mad. A canvas is blank and replaceable.
@@TheSassi14 Yeah, I'm sure she didn't. Many women approach make-up as a form of art and that must have been the idea behind her comment. That being said, don't compare people or their features to objects :D
I'm nonbinary and when there is not a unisex or neutral bathroom, I just end up going into the first one I see and the reactions I get sometimes are hilarious. I am AFAB, but very stocky so I pass easily as either when I bind, except for my voice. Therefore, sometimes I'll enter the women's bathroom and the people will freak out at me because there is a man in there and try to make me prove I was born female. Then, sometimes I'll be in the men's restroom and some dude will try to strike up a conversation with me and I have to go wordless or try to lower my voice because the few times I've spoken in men's restrooms everyone in there stops and stares awkwardly. Idk, I just wish there were neutral bathrooms everywhere so I didn't have to deal with it, but it can be very funny sometimes.
🏳️🌈 I have the same problem! I'm Non-Binary but appear female (My birth gender) I wish there where more unisex bathrooms. I had to take a quiz at my school to tell them how my well my teachers did and the last question was "What is your gender, Male or Female?" and when I have to I choose female so I don't confuse anyone. There is always someone at the bathrooms to make sure everyone has a pass so I have to go into the female bathroom (There are only male and female bathrooms) and I feel bit weird because there are some girls always talking in the bathroom so I'm always feeling awkward when they look at me. I might ask the principal if we can do a fundraiser to raise money for a unisex bathroom since we are all virtual again. He seems supporting of the community because he let my girlfriend start a club for people of the LGBTQ+ community to talk and answer questions straight people have. Wish me luck!🏳️🌈
I'm sorry but, people ask you to PROVE your sex? as a cis straight female, I just couldn't imagine that. That's awful. I've used mens bathrooms in the past because womens usually have stupid lineups and sometimes I just gotta go, I couldn't imagine having someone ask me to prove my effin genitals. it's a toilet. let people use it. ffs. I'm sorry people are like that to you. :(
@@bentobento3241 tbh at bars, I constantly strike conversations with others in the ladies room. usually its makeup related, or outfits. haha. nothing disturbingly personal however
I feel like if your parent opened your sock drawer and found a ~genitalia~ shaped object, their first thought wouldn't be to know that it was a packer and that you were trans
I once stole some of my sister's clothes, because I wanted to know what it feel like to be a girl. This was six years ago. I was born Male and I am Non-binary. I dressed in her clothes, but it was late so I passed out on my bed. My mom found me because I had disappeared into my room earlier than usual. My mom didn't freak out, but I was super scared. She made me go into the bathroom and dress back into some of my own clothes. She didn't give the clothes back to my sister, they sort of just 'disappeared.' She also didn't tell my sister, but she did tell my eldest brother because he had a friend do the same thing and mom probably wanted someone a little more mature to help her understand what was going on. I didn't know I was non-binary at the time (I didn't know that it was an option), so I didn't really understand why I did it at the time either. I was 12. After that night, we never spoke of it again, until I came out as non-binary four years later. I didn't figure out that I was non-binary until I had a major identity crisis after performing a monologue as one of my female classmates for drama class. We all were assigned partners to perform our monologues as each other.
I love that- the monologues thing, I can sort of relate to In Year Seven (sixth grade I _think_ but don’t quite me on that) we did a drama devised performance where I was a (male) detective (I am ftm). I was SO happy and I didn’t understand _why_- but next devised? I did it again. And again. Aaaand again. I’m still not out now, actually, and I’m still doing it; I was Simon the other week (I’m actually a James). But that first time, I had a kind of identity crisis vis-a-vis WHY AM I ENJOYING THIS??? And then, abruptly, it clicked!
Update to the story. Recently I learned from my sister, that my mom told everyone there including my sister's friend she brought along while visiting from college. So my mom lied to me, like she apparently did about a lot of stuff. She also apparently asked my siblings (all 4 of them) if I was gay.
Here’s the most embarrassing story I’ve got: When I ordered my first packer, I was living in an apartment building. One of my neighbors had the same last name as me and this was the first of many packages that would end up getting mixed up in their mail. They made the mistake of opening it (which is illegal in America) then taped it back up and gave it to the front office who called me to tell me they received my package. They tried to apologize for the neighbor opening it, but needless to say, even when we had mix ups down the line, none of my other packages ended up being opened. I was still mortified at the time, but I can laugh about it now.
Aww man, some of these coming out stories are really good. I just had 8 shots of espresso and then decided to word vomit at my parents that I was trans.
@@nikolasslead6582 you are amazing and treasured and loved regardless of what people say NEVER forget that and NEVER EVER let anyone or any group of people make you feel otherwise
I felt that hug. I'm sweating just looking at them. By the way, have you heard of virtual pride? Since pride is cancelled this year because of lockdown, @fx.kiara.fx on tiktok came up with the idea of making a virtual pride lasting the whole of June. It will be happening here, TikTok, instagram, snapchat and a few other places. It would be so cool if you could get involved!! There are a few people who are co-organising it but I'd suggest checking out Kiara's TikTok or DM her on insta (shes @fx.kiara.fx and both) to find out more since I don't know every detail.
idk, virtual pride has been also semi-cancelled a few days ago because of a scandal [one on the organizers being pro-Brexit, politics, etc.] and many creators have backed off. I don't think he should participate, tik tok has already shadowbanned the tik tok account for Virtual Pride.
My little sister came out as trans shortly before Christmas. She was three years old, which is insanely young, but everyone in our family had basically always known (she acted so girly). My mom, being a total hero, spent all night sewing a unicorn horn onto the rocking horse “Santa” was going to give her for Christmas. Three years later, she still hasn’t noticed that it wasn’t originally a unicorn. And she’s still trans. And I love her.
I want to thank you for creating your content! I'm a highschool teacher and councellor with little to no knowledge about trans people but sexuality is a thing that is so common, I try my best to understand them all as well as I possibly can. As someone who's bisexual, I do feel comfortable talking about it but I can still learn a lot from the trans community, how they feel, what I should do, absolutely shouldn't do and how to make them feel the most at ease and of course: make them feel vallid.
Ask their pronouns and what name you should call them by, and try to remember as frequently as possible, and make sure they know they're accepted by you. That's what I think does the best job of validating them
I'm mtf and maybe a year after being out, I was shopping with my family at Walmart for dat good cheap shit. I wasn't on blockers or hormones at the point because we couldn't afford it and my voice was deep at shit. But to my joyful surprise, when I went to the changing area, she pointed me to the women's rooms with a smile. But the second I said thank you, her face soured, but I didn't care; I actually passed for the first time!
Here's another flashback: In the weeks after getting my new IDs with my new name and M gender on it, I wanted to buy some liquor at the grocery store. Note that I was around 24 y/o at the time and in Quebec, CA, legal drinking age is 18. But, you know, I looked 12 like most of us. Honestly I was more than happy to show her my brand new Driver's license we she asked for ID... but then she said she was not convinced. So I showed her my health care card which also has picture and birtg date. I lost my cool when she said she still wasn't convinced and that she could not sell my alcool. I told her "do you want me to go get my birth certificate? Cuz I have it in the car!" (I had just visited an institution to have them change my name in their files). She finally asked the superviser and that person just looked at my ID and said "yeah, it says 1992, that's fine". Why it gotta be such a fight when I got proper ID???
Also, about the changing room one, my dad once said to me I should go into the womens' one with my mens' clothes (I'm FTM and I was out). I asked why, and he said that he didn't want me to see...stuff.. in the mens'. I replied with, "What weird-ass changing rooms are you going to?" He laughed and let me go into the mens' ever since! hehe
@@yako_the_silly yEp! Came out about a month or so after I made that comment.....well, my little sister outed me......that was not an enjoyable experience. But everything's going great now. Parental units are trying their best to use my chosen name and my pronouns :D Tis nice
I work for a clothing brand. Once, shortly after I got hired, a friend of mine came and asked my boss "is Milan here now?" And my boss was super confused, she came to me asking "who is Milan? Someone is asking for him". That's how I came out to my coworkers.
One day I forgot to change the ytb account on the family computer after watching one of your videos (luv ur content). The day after my mom came into my bedroom (she had obviously seen a video of yours in the recommendations, nearly cried and started telling me it was ok to be trans and so on but i was just like "no I'm not" because supporting LGBTQ's community does not always mean that you're a part of it. It was really akward and it took me two hours to explain her I was straight but at least we had a great conversation about genders and sexual attractions 😰. (Greetings from Belgium)
I have a small story that 10:12 reminded me of I’m out to some of my family, but they aren’t supportive. They’re not UNSUPPORTIVE, they’re just stuck in the whole “it’s a phase you’ll grow out of it” thing. I was getting my nice short hair trimmed because I was getting a quarantine mane. We had to wear face masks into the salon, so most of my face was covered. The lady checking us in referred to me as “him”. Even though I’m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, if I HAD to choose between he/him and she/her I’d DEFINITELY go with he/him. So, naturally, I was feeling a little (okay, a lot) excited that I wasn’t passing as my birth gender. And then my mom (I love her she’s amazing), who I’m out to but she’s in denial, goes and kills my happiness with an “oh, this is my daughter.” The lady checking us in was super apologetic and I didn’t know how to tell her that she did something great and made my day because even though she incorrectly referred to me, she didn’t use the pronouns for my assigned gender. So yeah I’m a little more dysphoric lately. Sorry for the long rant thing, thanks for reading if you made it this far, I love you guys 🖤🏳️🌈🖤
I'm nonbinary and I had a string of events leading to telling my mother... I said "I'm nonbinary" She said "But you're a girl- oh, I guess I shouldn't say that" And then she proceeded to accept me slowly and slowly be open to my pronouns She already knew I was bi and she was cool with it and proud but me being nonbinary was iffy I know she's trying to be accepting though
When I was in eighth grade and cis-passing as male, I was involved in a program in my school where eight graders helped out sixth graders. I was in a small group with three eighth grade girls and we would do activities with a sixth grade class. Apparently, one of the girls in my group who knew I was trans accidentally misgendered me in front of some sixth graders. Later, when we were giving instructions for an activity to the class, one girl raised her hand when I asked if there was any questions. She said in front of the whole class, "We thought you were a boy." I just laughed nervously and said "I am". Later I pulled that girl aside and admitted that I was a trans boy.
I am 14 and im ftm i came out to my parents at 13, didnt go so well and they now use female pronouns 10x more and watching u helps me accept that not everyone accepts that your trans. Not the happiest coming out but i wanted to share it with you guys.(if you can you can share this in a video 😁)
I just want to tell whoever is reading this that you are loved and valid and freaking valuable. If you're having a rough time, it's going to get better. It always will. That's the crazy thing about life... So yeah. You're important and I love you :)
I kinda feel like life is getting harder over time. Like I get so much responsibility and I already felt overwhelmed with responsibly in 1st grade (grades and school stuff: homework, not being ill, because then you have to catch up, tests...)
people like u honestly make me so happy. people who voluntarily choose to spread positivity and kindness with all the negativity going on in the world. thank u 💖
awkward story, but still not out: I was at the museum with my dad and younger brother, and we were going between the two parts of a NASA exhibit when I realised I had to go to the bathroom. I told my dad I was going to the bathroom and the museum staff man next to us looked up as I headed off, saying "Oh, the male toilets are that way" and pointing in the opposite direction I was going. Now, I've been coming to this museum since I was like three, I knew exactly where the bathrooms were and although I was dressed as masculine as I could manage, I wasn't confident enough to use the male toilets yet. So I just kinda blinked at him and then kept walking while freaking the fuck out, because a) I just passed publicly for one of the first times, and b) holy shit my dad and brother must have heard him. I went and did my business, came back and he apologised profusely to me, while I was just kinda going "aaaahh no it's okay, don't worry" and he was saying "no, it's not okay, I'm really sorry". It was incredibly awkward. I'm still not out. My brother still teases me about it because he's an asshole. another story: I met my friend's boyfriend for the first time at a party. I wasn't even dressed that masc, but when she was introducing him to everyone over the beer pong table, he pointed to me and the female friend I was leaning on, and said "boyfriend or brother?" everyone broke down laughing (again, I'm not out to most of them but we're all hella queer) and I said "both". he heard my voice and started apologising lmao.
I'm coming out to my mom next week, I really can't wait Update: the other day my my siblings told me that my mom told them I might be trans and seemed totally okay with it?!?!?! This is an exciting turn of events Update So I told her, and she told me she still loves me and wasn't kicking me out, but she wouldn't say she accepts me and wouldn't say she loved me as her daughter... So not the worse outcome but I feel like she doesn't really believe me and she's acting as if nothing changed
people will see my long hair and dress, they say "ma'am" but once they notice my stuble or voice they say "sorry sr". i then tell them "no you had it right the first time." it's kinda obvious I'm feminine.
I relate to the whole "hating wearing dresses" thing. I hated wearing dresses before I came out. It's why I hated concert band season in school (mostly spring semester; fall semester was marching season when we had to play at football games), because I had to wear the dress. And trust me when I say I'd get out of that thing as quickly as possible once the concerts were over! Also, Chili's is an American thing. It's a fast-casual chain where you can get anything from burgers and fries to quesadillas to even steak and ribs.
I know this is like 2 years later. Sorry. My kiddo is in high school choir (ftm) but not out at school yet. Of course the teacher had picked out & ordered really ugly long black dresses that belonged at a funeral or a witch coven meeting! So I took initiative to email him & remind him that this isn't the 1950s anymore & to force dresses for the girls was a bit sexist & that some girls are not comfortable in dresses. He amended the concert attire rules to just black formal concert attire! My Robbie got to wear black pants & shirt & tie!
i recently became very close friends with a ftm i’ve watched your videos for awhile but once he came out to me fully i have kept up with all your uploads i am from a very small town and sadly am ignorant to most of it but your videos have helped me understand better. :)
One of the stories reminds me of something I experienced a long time ago. This was about 20 years ago, when there wasn't as much awareness about trans people. I was working in the women's clothing department at a department store and a trans woman came up to the counter where I was working and asked me if she was allowed to go into the women's changing room to try on the outfits she'd picked out. The whole situation was very confusing to me. Clearly, I had never thought this situation out ahead of time because back then, this was the type of situation that most people would almost never find themselves in. It hadn't occurred to me that someone who came in wearing women's clothing and who was wanting to try on women's clothing would have to ask for permission to use the women's changing room. So just by her asking, it suddenly made me think that maybe there was a reason why she wouldn't be allowed to and I just wasn't aware of it. So it kind of had me panicking a bit lol. I ended up telling her that I wasn't sure what the store's policy was, but that I personally had no problem with her using the women's changing room. I also thought about the fact that it would probably cause a much bigger scene for her to try on women's clothing in the men's changing room(and probably just be really awkward for her in general) than to just let her use the women's changing room, regardless of the store's policy. It ended up not being that big of a deal anyway because it turned out that there wasn't even anyone else using the changing room at the time. I'm just glad that I had enough common sense at such a young age to not make an already awkward situation any more awkward than it needed to be lol.
Shaaba gives me hope that someday I’ll be able to find someone who loves me for me as all the genders i am when i am them without it being a big deal. She makes me hopeful that someone can love me equally as any gender on my spectrum without feeling like my partner enjoys one gender more than another. Shaaba shows me that people can love people for who they are as people, and be attracted to them, regardless of the junk they’ve got in their swim trunks. (I’m fluid if that clears up any of the confusing concepts in this comment)
I agree, Shaaba - my dad is so oblivious and in his own world that I'm 95% sure he wouldn't notice if a realistic packer was staring at him from my sock drawer XD
Turns out that I didn’t need to come out as trans my whole family has been thinking that I’m trans Yesterday my grandma said you like being my grandson right and I just silently said yes she went ok and went back to cooking most stressful minute of my life
So I was playing Tetris whilst watching this video, and when you were reacting to the one where the guy had to come out to the whole school, an ad on Tetris popped up with really opera-like-dramatic music. Perfect timing.
I'm non-binary and when I came out to my friend group my bestie was super nice about it (calling me by my preferred name and pronouns), she also came out as bi after me and we were both super happy that we had a safe place with our friends. This year I am doing online school so I wont be able to see her as much as I usually do. Today she called me up and asked me if she could buy me a non-binary pride flag I literally cried and we planned to meet up at our favorite candy shop after it arrives in the mail, little does she know that I made her a painting that has all the bi-pride colors on it (she hasn't told her parents yet so it's like a secret bi-pride flag). I'm so lucky to have her as a bestie and I really hope she likes the painting I made for her.
I (FTM) was hanging out in my college dorm’s lounge (all women’s dorm) with some friends. My packer got loose while I was doing homework and it fell from my shorts when I stood. . . (It all went well. My friends and entire dorm was super supportive and used he/him for me and my proper name. They also switched back when my family came to visit because I wasn’t out to my dad yet)
not a fail in my eyes bc it was so hilarious but once at a lgbt+ youth club, we were all getting up from sitting on the floor to get snacks, and someone suddenly clutched at their pant leg to presumably catch their rogue packer and squeaked "MY BALLS JUST DROPPED!" hahahahaha
My favorite way to address a group and be gender inclusive come from the Doctor Who episode “Midnight “ from season 4. “Ladies and gentlemen, and variations there upon.”
I feel like some of those stories are what in french we call “acte manqué” : when you do something by mistake that your subconscious actually wanted you to do. The physical freudian slip if you will :)
i’m not on T but H&M has been great abt their dressing rooms, as long as i’m shopping on the men’s side no one seems to have a problem with me using the men’s dressing rooms! worth a try if anyone’s scared of being turned away like that! (also i swear by their jeans, they’re the best fit i’ve had)
H&M also has shirts that fit transmasc people so well! One of the only department stores that carries XS sizes. My sister took me to H&M shortly after my top surgery and I almost cried when I saw myself in nice fitting shirts with the body of my dreams (( also the cashier was really cute and we hit it off a bit 🎉 ))
As a cis woman who often shops in the men's section, noone has ever said anything about which changing rooms I should or shouldn't use. I usually use those that are closer, so usually the ones that belong to whatever section the clothes I want to try on come from. I may occasionally have gotten some looks before, but not in a malicious way, more in a "huh, this sticks out from the norm and I wasn't really expecting it" kind of way. I've never experienced any problems with that.
To everyone in this comment section with unsupportive parents, I'm your mother now. I love you, you are valid no matter who you are and you are amazing. You can talk to me. 💕🏳️🌈
Also the way I came out was the school ringing in asking why I wanted to change my name to Jasper. They still haven't changed my name, I have been trans for almoust 2 years, know i wasnt female for 1/2 a year... It ended with kind of positivity, only my parents know, they still call me daughter but they are slowly getting used to calling me son.
I'm a not out and when I ordered my first to binder my mom opens the package thinking it was for her, she texted me and asked me why I'd ordered a booby torture device
The potato packer SEND me omg also i'm scared i will sign stuff with my name instead of deadname after quarantine because i didnt use that one for weeks
today is my dads birthday but he's not home so i spend the rest of my time watching mileschronicles Jammidodger noahfinnce notcorry :) that just shows what a big gay i am
Speaking of packer mishaps. I took mine out to go to the bathroom on a car trip, left it on top of my bag in the packing pouch. Fell asleep for awhile and then I switched seats with my bf's brother. I unknowingly kicked it out of the car when we did. So...somewhere in Kansas is a masho packer...in a farm ditch. Also on that trip my bf (who is also trans and has a binder on, and a little beard) was misgendered at the Denny's but I wasn't? For the record, I'm maybe 3 months on t, just wearing a sports bra and my hair is really shaggy. It was incredibly surreal and sometimes I just don't understand cis people lol.
When I was younger I used to not really mind wearing feminine clothes because I have always been really shy and didn't want to upset my mum. Looking back on it now, I barely recognise old photos of me as myself because I only dress masculinely (but I'm not out as trans to anyone but my close friends)
The high level of comedy in this totally cured me of crying all over the last thing I watched! Also I love the contrast between Shaaba looking bright and cheery with the yellow chair and then Jamie doing a white guy blend into the wall behind him! lol
I'm a waitress and whenever I'm in doubt abt "sir" or "ma'am" everyone is "love" "what can I get you to drink my love" because I am the biggest ally and I've misgendered someone once and I never wanna make that mistake again.
I used to cry everytime I had to wear a dress when I was younger (weddings etc) and there’s a picture from an event where I’m in a dress one photo and I look completely miserable and then there’s one from after I changed into jeans and a short sleeve button up and I look *over the fucking moon* and honestly idk how I didn’t figure out i was trans sooner
My sibling and I would always wear matching clothes. We're not the only kids my mom had, we're not twins, we just matched all the time and my brother thought it was creepy
One of the stories remindes me of something that happend to me once, I had to give in an homework for a class. It got really late, cause I finished around 3 am and I signd the mail with my new name instead of my death name, because I was so exhausted
My friend is ftm and we were in math class before I knew and he passed his paper forward with his masculine name and after the teacher took it i told him and he said he forgot to put the date and grabbed it from him quickly. that’s how we came out to each other-
It’s so sad there’s no pride this year, but on the last day of school we are having a car parade. I am going to stick my head out the sunroof of our car and wave a very large pride flag.
Amalia Serkin I’m wondering whether you know about Virtual Pride! It’s happening all through June on yt, TikTok, insta, Twitter, etc. Just search fx.kiara.fx or Virtual Pride and you’ll find them!
I'm here sitting in my room eating while my binder is drying amongst my other laundry, now thinking that what if my mother decides to move my wet laundry for some reason and notices it
At my high school we really don't, girls in bras and panties is typically just out in the open in there, even the showers don't have stalls. Luckily my school doesn't make us use them. I usually just change in the bathroom stall in there since I'm self conscious but the partial nudity is pretty normal here in the U.S.
@@outtathepantry yes that's what it's like in high schools here too, but they were talking about changing rooms in stores, like where you go to try on clothes.
There are like 3 stalls in most (at schools at least) so it would literally take hours for everyone to get changed. And public ones aren't much bigger.
I had a sub a couple weeks before we were let off school for quarantine. The sub came and asked everyone’s names and said “What is his name?” I responded with my name (Birthname, my name is an intersex name (griffin) and i’m ftm.) The kid sitting across from me was about to correct her and say I was a girl but I stared at him and shook my head no. He stared at me with pure shock and concern which I don’t understand bringing up the fact he was in my class for years and I was a tomboy since I was 3. Bonus story: We had a thing in spanish where we had to find adjectives for ourselves and use the endings, a if we are female, o male, and e is non-binary. I put the male ending (suffix? Idk what it’s called for spanish) and handed in. I got extremely scared to come back the next day and see her reaction and she hasn’t said anything yet. It still bothers me.
I think it's a good sign that you were given a non-binary option. If they're open to non-binary identities they'd be open to binary trans people. Or maybe I'm ignorant about spanish--in french there's no such thing as non-binary adjectives, unfortunately
hi im a spanish native speaker - there arent really any gender neutral adjectives, but it is acceptable in some contexts to change the ending of a word to e from a or o to reflect neutrality. most people will not take you seriously though.
So I've been watching your videos for awhile, and after recently coming out as non-binary to my husband, he's started making sure he watches them with me too. :) He's been totally accepting, and makes sure that I know he supports me, and that he educates himself.
funny trans thing: I'm non-binary (afab), and I'm one of the enbies that dresses very androgynous/masculine. I get called sir at restaurants pretty much all the time. My family's pretty unaccepting and gets really pissed whenever it happens.
So one time we went to Applebee's and the waiter, who was obviously gay, asked me what I'd like to drink and referred to me as sir. I just answered and inwardly celebrated, but my mom got mad. She goes, "Excuse me, that's my daughter!"
I rolled my eyes and just said, "It's fine, I'm not bothered"
My mom goes, "Well I'm bothered, you're a girl!"
The waiter deadass looked my mom in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry sir, I couldn't tell"
Side note: my mom refused to tip him, so I gave him 20 bucks on the way out
Holy!
That waiter deserves those 20 bucks
Also, ignore whatever others say bout your gender, just continue being you!
I love the idea of being aggressively gender-blind to cis people. Using sir on a Karen is brütal
@@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice omg that is amazing i should do this to my girlfriends dad next time he insults me on being trans and tries to be me and her up
I am also non-binary/enby and Androgynous/masculine and get misgendered all the time
Seriously tho
I was wearing my Non-binary bracelet and coming back from a pride event. And I wasn't out to my Uncle. And this bracelet was the flag colors and had 'Non-binary' on it. I forgot to take it off and he saw it. He said "What's your name and what are your pronouns?" I cried.
That’s so cute. Uwu
ohh that's adorable
WHO PUT THESE TEARS IN MY EYES?
i wish smh
omg so cute plsss
MY BOYFRIEND IS THE SPRITE AND COUSIN STORY 🥺
Oof
LMFAO
LMAO RIP
Welcome to Chilis
Mady Morrison out of all of the restaurants, my brother decides to go to CHILIS before leaving for the army
I’m the one who had the mall coming out, I showed this to my mum and she cried that you guys loved supportive mums.
that's so nice
That's just adorable. That's awesome!
This needs more likes so Jamie and Shaaba can see it!
@@autumnbreeze_official haha thanks
i mean... who wouldnt love someone like that? like all you asked for was acceptance, and she went the extra mile just to show she cares. not to be a downer but i would kill for parents like that tbh
As a non-binary human, I love that look of confusion/waffling on maam/sir so much. It's the closest to being correctly gendered I ever get.
I get sir and ma'am in about equal measure no matter what I wear, and honestly that's about as close to getting correctly gendered as I'm likely to get by strangers yeah. Everyone assumes I'm cis though for some reason, including other trans people.
I was once called an actual "ma'amsir"
this made my agender brain very happy, I could not stop laughing ^^;
As an enby who only ever gets identified as a woman, I wish I could relate 😣
So, as a cis man who is starting to see the world outside his heteronormative old ways, what would be correct way to refer to you?
@@robinsuj I know Mx exists but I haven't actually seen it used much (unfortunately)
People incorrectly correcting themselves happens pretty often with me (I'm genderfluid and only out to my friends). Right now, my hair is really short and I look and act masculine. I usually wear baggy shorts and shirts as well. Whenever my family and I go out, people usually say 'son' or 'sir' instead of 'miss' and I love it, even if I'm female or enby that day. It really sucks when my parents put a bunch of emphasis on 'daughter' to correct them.
Story: Once when we had gone out, a waiter had called me 'Sir' and my parents did the 'daughter' thing. The waiter just smiled and glanced at me (my face is blank whenever my parents 'correct' people) and gave me a nod and returned to taking out orders. Twenty or so minutes later, he comes back out with our food and calls me 'sir' again. Left and came back with refils, and called me 'Mr'. My parents were a bit mad and kept correcting him. He came back with the check and when my parents and brother were looking away, he tapped his chest pocket, which had a folded up trans flag. Parents took me back home but the waiter gave me a fistbump before we left.
That man was a legend and he made me feel a whole lot happier for that week.
He's more than just a legend. He's The Legend.
he is so cute help
Your and Shaaba's relationship honestly is so wholesome and cute and it makes me so happy.
Same
Same here... I have to smile all the time I see them
Tho it makes me sad I’m single-
Yassss
Second that
One of the stories reminded me of something that happened to me. A few years ago I had a test in school and I had gotten so used to my name that I wrote it on the test. Gladly it was one of my favorite teachers class and when she was returning the graded papers she quietly asked if it was mine. I was embarrassed but obviously said yes. After the class ended she asked me to stay for a bit and asked if I wrote the name myself or if it was someone else bullying me (if I remember correctly it was a smaller test so the students graded each others tests and the teacher looked them over). I then explained the situation and that I had gone by my name for a while and gotten really used to it and accidentally wrote it down. She was really supportive and asked if I wanted her to call me by my new name in class. It made me really happy. After that I explained my situation to other teachers I had and they all were very nice about it and even told other staff to call me by my new name. One of the teachers actually said that she had thought so when I told her I was trans. Sorry for writing so much, I just got really happy remembering that :)
lmao was your teacher psychic??
also loved that your school was so supportiveee!!
This is so sweet :'0
This story is so lovely, I am so happy for you that you were met in this really vulnerable state with understanding and love. Good on you! I hope many, many others also experience supportive teachers and staff at their schools!
002. Lol. There are usually signs beforehand but can easily be misinterpreted. I thought my nephew was a lesbian 🤷♀️ before he came out.
10:00 I once was in a similar situation. I went to get food and the person behind the counter apparently read me as male because of my clothes and was like "What can I get you, sir?" When I told her what I wanted, she seemed to think she had misgendered me, started to apologize, then got completely confused and eventually settled on "young person". I'm agender and she has no idea that she made my day.
I feel like the default should be "younglings"
Wholesome 💜
@@lexthedork4040 "kiddos"
Omg thats fantastic
Thats epic
I had a similar experience to the changing room one except I was with my mom and when the lady told me to go into the women's changing rooms (I'm ftm) my mom just goes "oh yeah, ya know he's getting older now. I don't really need to go with him anymore." And the lady kinda did a double take as I quietly shuffled into the men's changing area.
That’s such an awesome comeback! Omg!
Love how supportive mum was
Full marks to your mom 💜
That's so sweet!!! I honestly don't get the separate changing room thing... I went men's clothes shopping (she/her here) and no one said a thing. Got a few weirded out looks from teenage boys though 😄
Jana we have seperate changing rooms because I don’t want to see boys half naked and I don’t want them to see me half naked
ItS funny how binary trans people feel awkward when a waiter or someone is confused by their gender (which is 100% valid) but then I'm like yes be confused my gender is unknowable! I I love when someone can't figure out my gender XD
Oh god yes! Few month back while shopping groceries there were to boys I always see in our neighborhood and they asked each other if I was a girl or a boy and it was so hecking funny to see their confusion 😂
Ehh idk I still feel hecka awkward when someone stumbles over my gender and I’m enby. Just the hyper focus on my gender gives me dysphoria. It doesn’t feel great when somebody “ma’am”s me but at least it can slide by unnoticed by others. Can’t really blame anyone tho bc I’m still confused by my gender on a regular basis despite years of introspection so 🤷🏻♂️
On the other hand it is nice when someone doesn’t just assume I’m female so I kinda get it. Guess it’s just somewhat down to the individual and situation. I prefer when people just assume I am a 12 y/o boy tbh
Even though I'm binary, I always laugh when people don't know my gender bc they get so flustered when they start thinking that someone might just not be binary lmaoooo
It’s the best feeling :D
So true, once my younger brother's friend came over and couldn't figure out my gender but didn't know what nonbinary is so called me both "[younger brother]'s brother" and "[younger brother]'s sister" and I just had the goofiest, happiest smile on my face for the rest of the day, lol
'Mission successful but very stressful'
That needs to be on a t-shirt.
Thought you said “mission successful but very successful”
I would absolutely buy that!
I came out to my best friends parents before my own. Before i did, they said i was like another daughter to them. After i came out, they corrected themselves. "Babe! Turns out, we got another son! Our eldest daughters best friend!"
"Sweet! Remind me to invite him when i take the boys fishing!" Was the reaction. Her dad takes her brothers fishing every year durring spring break. It was in my sophomore year and they didnt forget to take me fishing with them. Her dad even told someone asking that they stole a friends son for the week.
I feel like we need a part two where you reveal the outcomes to all of these stories
Instructions unclear
Potato fell out of table leg
Hahaha. I've never tried?a potato. That's funny. I have packed before and it felt right. Thank God i didn't have any embarrassing episodes like the beach.
XD
i’ve been laughing at this for way to long lmaoo
there are 3 things that are strange:
1. Username
2. Pfp
3. potato fell out of table leg
yes.
@the weirdo Why everyone so on my username and pfp, it just makes sense to me
edit: yeah the slushy is the best part
Forcing your child to wear something is mean and controlling, even if the child is cis (more so if trans... parents usually don't know that until later).
For example I hated wearing uncomfortable dresses and jeans, while my brother got to pick what he wanted, just because it aligned with my mom's taste. I liked his style, but those options were not available to me, because it wouldn't "show my figure". Also: Mom nagging me to wear make up was annoying. My brother looked good enough without the extra effort, but I was supposed to put it in? Overdone gender roles, or rather sexism sucks. It's just as bad for boys, I assume (if not worse).
My mom made remarks on how I should dress more femininely (by which she meant dresses, because the jeans and shirts I wore were female). I was a stressed teenager with self-esteem issues and much more interest in hobbies than clothing. I mainly just wanted to feel comfortable. Her nagging didn't benefit my self-esteem. I hate it when moms do that and quite a lot of them do it.
@@Evija3000 Mine made a comment about how I should highlight my beauty with eyeliner. One of my hobbies is art and she tried to animate me by saying I should see my face as a canvas. Made me kinda mad. A canvas is blank and replaceable.
@@Evija3000 I'm sure she didn't mean it that way though
@@TheSassi14 Yeah, I'm sure she didn't. Many women approach make-up as a form of art and that must have been the idea behind her comment. That being said, don't compare people or their features to objects :D
ye my mum shouts at me for not wearing the dresses she buys me
I'm nonbinary and when there is not a unisex or neutral bathroom, I just end up going into the first one I see and the reactions I get sometimes are hilarious. I am AFAB, but very stocky so I pass easily as either when I bind, except for my voice. Therefore, sometimes I'll enter the women's bathroom and the people will freak out at me because there is a man in there and try to make me prove I was born female. Then, sometimes I'll be in the men's restroom and some dude will try to strike up a conversation with me and I have to go wordless or try to lower my voice because the few times I've spoken in men's restrooms everyone in there stops and stares awkwardly. Idk, I just wish there were neutral bathrooms everywhere so I didn't have to deal with it, but it can be very funny sometimes.
🏳️🌈 I have the same problem! I'm Non-Binary but appear female (My birth gender) I wish there where more unisex bathrooms. I had to take a quiz at my school to tell them how my well my teachers did and the last question was "What is your gender, Male or Female?" and when I have to I choose female so I don't confuse anyone. There is always someone at the bathrooms to make sure everyone has a pass so I have to go into the female bathroom (There are only male and female bathrooms) and I feel bit weird because there are some girls always talking in the bathroom so I'm always feeling awkward when they look at me. I might ask the principal if we can do a fundraiser to raise money for a unisex bathroom since we are all virtual again. He seems supporting of the community because he let my girlfriend start a club for people of the LGBTQ+ community to talk and answer questions straight people have. Wish me luck!🏳️🌈
As a fellow enby I feel you. Why the hell would someone try to start a conversation with a stranger in restrooms anyway?? Just let me be, please
People should just mind their own business. Bathrooms are meant for using not for proving what genitalia you were born with 😂
I'm sorry but, people ask you to PROVE your sex? as a cis straight female, I just couldn't imagine that. That's awful. I've used mens bathrooms in the past because womens usually have stupid lineups and sometimes I just gotta go, I couldn't imagine having someone ask me to prove my effin genitals. it's a toilet. let people use it. ffs.
I'm sorry people are like that to you. :(
@@bentobento3241 tbh at bars, I constantly strike conversations with others in the ladies room. usually its makeup related, or outfits. haha. nothing disturbingly personal however
I feel like if your parent opened your sock drawer and found a ~genitalia~ shaped object, their first thought wouldn't be to know that it was a packer and that you were trans
but if you're out, they might suspect it's related
I once stole some of my sister's clothes, because I wanted to know what it feel like to be a girl. This was six years ago. I was born Male and I am Non-binary. I dressed in her clothes, but it was late so I passed out on my bed. My mom found me because I had disappeared into my room earlier than usual. My mom didn't freak out, but I was super scared. She made me go into the bathroom and dress back into some of my own clothes. She didn't give the clothes back to my sister, they sort of just 'disappeared.' She also didn't tell my sister, but she did tell my eldest brother because he had a friend do the same thing and mom probably wanted someone a little more mature to help her understand what was going on. I didn't know I was non-binary at the time (I didn't know that it was an option), so I didn't really understand why I did it at the time either. I was 12. After that night, we never spoke of it again, until I came out as non-binary four years later. I didn't figure out that I was non-binary until I had a major identity crisis after performing a monologue as one of my female classmates for drama class. We all were assigned partners to perform our monologues as each other.
I did the same thing of stealing my sisters clothes and trying them on, luckily I don’t think anyone saw me in them so I didn’t out myself
I love that- the monologues thing, I can sort of relate to
In Year Seven (sixth grade I _think_ but don’t quite me on that) we did a drama devised performance where I was a (male) detective (I am ftm). I was SO happy and I didn’t understand _why_- but next devised? I did it again. And again. Aaaand again. I’m still not out now, actually, and I’m still doing it; I was Simon the other week (I’m actually a James). But that first time, I had a kind of identity crisis vis-a-vis WHY AM I ENJOYING THIS??? And then, abruptly, it clicked!
Update to the story. Recently I learned from my sister, that my mom told everyone there including my sister's friend she brought along while visiting from college. So my mom lied to me, like she apparently did about a lot of stuff. She also apparently asked my siblings (all 4 of them) if I was gay.
@@kroganpopy9206 shit that’s rough. I hope stuff turns out alright between you and your mum.
Here’s the most embarrassing story I’ve got:
When I ordered my first packer, I was living in an apartment building. One of my neighbors had the same last name as me and this was the first of many packages that would end up getting mixed up in their mail. They made the mistake of opening it (which is illegal in America) then taped it back up and gave it to the front office who called me to tell me they received my package. They tried to apologize for the neighbor opening it, but needless to say, even when we had mix ups down the line, none of my other packages ended up being opened. I was still mortified at the time, but I can laugh about it now.
Insert obligatory "the last time I was this early I thought I was a girl" comment
Aww man, some of these coming out stories are really good. I just had 8 shots of espresso and then decided to word vomit at my parents that I was trans.
Nikolas Studios Wait, then what happened?
@@lovelygirl3117 They told me they would think about it and we haven't talked about it since. They still deadname me :(
@@nikolasslead6582 you are amazing and treasured and loved regardless of what people say
NEVER forget that and NEVER EVER let anyone or any group of people make you feel otherwise
Nikolas Studios I’m your parents now!
Relatable
I felt that hug.
I'm sweating just looking at them.
By the way, have you heard of virtual pride? Since pride is cancelled this year because of lockdown, @fx.kiara.fx on tiktok came up with the idea of making a virtual pride lasting the whole of June.
It will be happening here, TikTok, instagram, snapchat and a few other places. It would be so cool if you could get involved!! There are a few people who are co-organising it but I'd suggest checking out Kiara's TikTok or DM her on insta (shes @fx.kiara.fx and both) to find out more since I don't know every detail.
I can't wait!
idk, virtual pride has been also semi-cancelled a few days ago because of a scandal [one on the organizers being pro-Brexit, politics, etc.] and many creators have backed off. I don't think he should participate, tik tok has already shadowbanned the tik tok account for Virtual Pride.
@@LoreCatan wait, what?!? But why??? Is TikTok homophobic???
There’s also a CZcamsr doing a giant pride Zoom call
@@yourlocaltheatrekid900 who is it? I NEED to know😂
My little sister came out as trans shortly before Christmas. She was three years old, which is insanely young, but everyone in our family had basically always known (she acted so girly). My mom, being a total hero, spent all night sewing a unicorn horn onto the rocking horse “Santa” was going to give her for Christmas. Three years later, she still hasn’t noticed that it wasn’t originally a unicorn. And she’s still trans. And I love her.
You're so parent-y in this video and I love it. Like "Did it go okay?" "Well done for the award" I melted
I want to thank you for creating your content! I'm a highschool teacher and councellor with little to no knowledge about trans people but sexuality is a thing that is so common, I try my best to understand them all as well as I possibly can. As someone who's bisexual, I do feel comfortable talking about it but I can still learn a lot from the trans community, how they feel, what I should do, absolutely shouldn't do and how to make them feel the most at ease and of course: make them feel vallid.
thanks so much for educating yourself! I hope I have a teacher like you someday.
I don't even know you, but you are the absolute BEST
Ask their pronouns and what name you should call them by, and try to remember as frequently as possible, and make sure they know they're accepted by you. That's what I think does the best job of validating them
I'm mtf and maybe a year after being out, I was shopping with my family at Walmart for dat good cheap shit. I wasn't on blockers or hormones at the point because we couldn't afford it and my voice was deep at shit. But to my joyful surprise, when I went to the changing area, she pointed me to the women's rooms with a smile. But the second I said thank you, her face soured, but I didn't care; I actually passed for the first time!
Here's another flashback: In the weeks after getting my new IDs with my new name and M gender on it, I wanted to buy some liquor at the grocery store. Note that I was around 24 y/o at the time and in Quebec, CA, legal drinking age is 18. But, you know, I looked 12 like most of us. Honestly I was more than happy to show her my brand new Driver's license we she asked for ID... but then she said she was not convinced. So I showed her my health care card which also has picture and birtg date. I lost my cool when she said she still wasn't convinced and that she could not sell my alcool. I told her "do you want me to go get my birth certificate? Cuz I have it in the car!" (I had just visited an institution to have them change my name in their files). She finally asked the superviser and that person just looked at my ID and said "yeah, it says 1992, that's fine".
Why it gotta be such a fight when I got proper ID???
Also, about the changing room one, my dad once said to me I should go into the womens' one with my mens' clothes (I'm FTM and I was out). I asked why, and he said that he didn't want me to see...stuff.. in the mens'. I replied with, "What weird-ass changing rooms are you going to?" He laughed and let me go into the mens' ever since! hehe
My mum used to try to make me use the women's room but the workers kept pointing me to the men's and it eventually became the norm
lmfao.
Are the changing rooms really weird-ass?😂 lol cause in my country the shops have one changing room for all I guess🤔
Isabel Bogdan One changing room at a Macy's near me, the doors don’t close and there are bathroom sized gaps between the door and wall
I live for that tank top.
How I'm gonna come out to my mom:
"Skedaddle skedoy your daughter's a boy" over text
cause why not
Omg i love that, that's 5he fucking best way to do it
Sooooo any updates? 🍵👀
@@yako_the_silly yEp! Came out about a month or so after I made that comment.....well, my little sister outed me......that was not an enjoyable experience. But everything's going great now. Parental units are trying their best to use my chosen name and my pronouns :D
Tis nice
@@kalechip5681 :D I'm glad they support you! and thanks for actually responding
Kale Chip, since that method didn’t pan out, tell them that was the plan or use a variation somewhere else :)
I work for a clothing brand. Once, shortly after I got hired, a friend of mine came and asked my boss "is Milan here now?" And my boss was super confused, she came to me asking "who is Milan? Someone is asking for him".
That's how I came out to my coworkers.
I thought you were talking about the fashion brand Milan lol
One day I forgot to change the ytb account on the family computer after watching one of your videos (luv ur content). The day after my mom came into my bedroom (she had obviously seen a video of yours in the recommendations, nearly cried and started telling me it was ok to be trans and so on but i was just like "no I'm not" because supporting LGBTQ's community does not always mean that you're a part of it. It was really akward and it took me two hours to explain her I was straight but at least we had a great conversation about genders and sexual attractions 😰. (Greetings from Belgium)
I have a small story that 10:12 reminded me of
I’m out to some of my family, but they aren’t supportive. They’re not UNSUPPORTIVE, they’re just stuck in the whole “it’s a phase you’ll grow out of it” thing. I was getting my nice short hair trimmed because I was getting a quarantine mane. We had to wear face masks into the salon, so most of my face was covered. The lady checking us in referred to me as “him”. Even though I’m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns, if I HAD to choose between he/him and she/her I’d DEFINITELY go with he/him. So, naturally, I was feeling a little (okay, a lot) excited that I wasn’t passing as my birth gender. And then my mom (I love her she’s amazing), who I’m out to but she’s in denial, goes and kills my happiness with an “oh, this is my daughter.”
The lady checking us in was super apologetic and I didn’t know how to tell her that she did something great and made my day because even though she incorrectly referred to me, she didn’t use the pronouns for my assigned gender.
So yeah I’m a little more dysphoric lately. Sorry for the long rant thing, thanks for reading if you made it this far, I love you guys 🖤🏳️🌈🖤
I'm nonbinary and I had a string of events leading to telling my mother...
I said "I'm nonbinary"
She said "But you're a girl- oh, I guess I shouldn't say that"
And then she proceeded to accept me slowly and slowly be open to my pronouns
She already knew I was bi and she was cool with it and proud but me being nonbinary was iffy
I know she's trying to be accepting though
When I was in eighth grade and cis-passing as male, I was involved in a program in my school where eight graders helped out sixth graders. I was in a small group with three eighth grade girls and we would do activities with a sixth grade class. Apparently, one of the girls in my group who knew I was trans accidentally misgendered me in front of some sixth graders. Later, when we were giving instructions for an activity to the class, one girl raised her hand when I asked if there was any questions. She said in front of the whole class, "We thought you were a boy." I just laughed nervously and said "I am". Later I pulled that girl aside and admitted that I was a trans boy.
I am 14 and im ftm i came out to my parents at 13, didnt go so well and they now use female pronouns 10x more and watching u helps me accept that not everyone accepts that your trans. Not the happiest coming out but i wanted to share it with you guys.(if you can you can share this in a video 😁)
I know it's been two years, but I hope it got better!
1. A fellow ARMY ayyyy
2. Intentionally increasing the misgendering? That's fucked up.
I just want to tell whoever is reading this that you are loved and valid and freaking valuable.
If you're having a rough time, it's going to get better. It always will. That's the crazy thing about life...
So yeah. You're important and I love you :)
♥️
I kinda feel like life is getting harder over time. Like I get so much responsibility and I already felt overwhelmed with responsibly in 1st grade (grades and school stuff: homework, not being ill, because then you have to catch up, tests...)
Omg I have no idea why but I'm actually crying when reading this. Thank you for your warm words. I think I really needed them.
You are amazing too!
people like u honestly make me so happy. people who voluntarily choose to spread positivity and kindness with all the negativity going on in the world. thank u 💖
Thank you 🥰
awkward story, but still not out: I was at the museum with my dad and younger brother, and we were going between the two parts of a NASA exhibit when I realised I had to go to the bathroom. I told my dad I was going to the bathroom and the museum staff man next to us looked up as I headed off, saying "Oh, the male toilets are that way" and pointing in the opposite direction I was going.
Now, I've been coming to this museum since I was like three, I knew exactly where the bathrooms were and although I was dressed as masculine as I could manage, I wasn't confident enough to use the male toilets yet.
So I just kinda blinked at him and then kept walking while freaking the fuck out, because a) I just passed publicly for one of the first times, and b) holy shit my dad and brother must have heard him.
I went and did my business, came back and he apologised profusely to me, while I was just kinda going "aaaahh no it's okay, don't worry" and he was saying "no, it's not okay, I'm really sorry". It was incredibly awkward. I'm still not out. My brother still teases me about it because he's an asshole.
another story: I met my friend's boyfriend for the first time at a party. I wasn't even dressed that masc, but when she was introducing him to everyone over the beer pong table, he pointed to me and the female friend I was leaning on, and said "boyfriend or brother?" everyone broke down laughing (again, I'm not out to most of them but we're all hella queer) and I said "both". he heard my voice and started apologising lmao.
i would’ve came faster but my cat was attackin me
XD oh god
Jordan Fires noice
mood
@@jordanfires9777 noice
@@jordanfires9777 I was just thinking that lmao.
Shaaba: at least you didn’t use a potato
Jamie: a potato!!?
Me: sounds like something I would do.
Reece Brenton mind blown 🤯
SAME
"Mission successful, but very stressful"
Yes. I love it. This is my motto now. My life is a mission and always stressful
At like 6:54 u two are so cute acting like proud parents for this person who won an award at school
I'm coming out to my mom next week, I really can't wait
Update: the other day my my siblings told me that my mom told them I might be trans and seemed totally okay with it?!?!?!
This is an exciting turn of events
Update
So I told her, and she told me she still loves me and wasn't kicking me out, but she wouldn't say she accepts me and wouldn't say she loved me as her daughter...
So not the worse outcome but I feel like she doesn't really believe me and she's acting as if nothing changed
I hope it goes well!!! All the best 🌈
good luck kiddo! we wish ya a happy outing
Omg best of luck I seriously wish you the best of luck
@@Jammidodger I'm going to be wearing a trans flag under my cap and gown, I'll keep you all updated
heyyy i hope everything comes out great !! best of luck :)
"even if we were twins 4 years apart"
😳
@@Jammidodger hi Jamie! 😊
people will see my long hair and dress, they say "ma'am" but once they notice my stuble or voice they say "sorry sr". i then tell them "no you had it right the first time."
it's kinda obvious I'm feminine.
i came out to my school today. after being so scared for months i finally did it!! it went really well so far haha (trans ftm btw lol)
Ahhh so glad it went well! Congrats 🥳
Dude, if that's you in your pfp, just saying, you're highkey really cute. Just saying.
Saphira Sparkle haha thank you it is me 😂
I relate to the whole "hating wearing dresses" thing. I hated wearing dresses before I came out. It's why I hated concert band season in school (mostly spring semester; fall semester was marching season when we had to play at football games), because I had to wear the dress. And trust me when I say I'd get out of that thing as quickly as possible once the concerts were over!
Also, Chili's is an American thing. It's a fast-casual chain where you can get anything from burgers and fries to quesadillas to even steak and ribs.
shaaba thinking chili's is a mexican restaurant took years off my life /joke
I know this is like 2 years later. Sorry. My kiddo is in high school choir (ftm) but not out at school yet. Of course the teacher had picked out & ordered really ugly long black dresses that belonged at a funeral or a witch coven meeting! So I took initiative to email him & remind him that this isn't the 1950s anymore & to force dresses for the girls was a bit sexist & that some girls are not comfortable in dresses. He amended the concert attire rules to just black formal concert attire! My Robbie got to wear black pants & shirt & tie!
i recently became very close friends with a ftm i’ve watched your videos for awhile but once he came out to me fully i have kept up with all your uploads i am from a very small town and sadly am ignorant to most of it but your videos have helped me understand better. :)
One of the stories reminds me of something I experienced a long time ago. This was about 20 years ago, when there wasn't as much awareness about trans people. I was working in the women's clothing department at a department store and a trans woman came up to the counter where I was working and asked me if she was allowed to go into the women's changing room to try on the outfits she'd picked out. The whole situation was very confusing to me. Clearly, I had never thought this situation out ahead of time because back then, this was the type of situation that most people would almost never find themselves in. It hadn't occurred to me that someone who came in wearing women's clothing and who was wanting to try on women's clothing would have to ask for permission to use the women's changing room. So just by her asking, it suddenly made me think that maybe there was a reason why she wouldn't be allowed to and I just wasn't aware of it. So it kind of had me panicking a bit lol. I ended up telling her that I wasn't sure what the store's policy was, but that I personally had no problem with her using the women's changing room. I also thought about the fact that it would probably cause a much bigger scene for her to try on women's clothing in the men's changing room(and probably just be really awkward for her in general) than to just let her use the women's changing room, regardless of the store's policy. It ended up not being that big of a deal anyway because it turned out that there wasn't even anyone else using the changing room at the time. I'm just glad that I had enough common sense at such a young age to not make an already awkward situation any more awkward than it needed to be lol.
Shaaba gives me hope that someday I’ll be able to find someone who loves me for me as all the genders i am when i am them without it being a big deal. She makes me hopeful that someone can love me equally as any gender on my spectrum without feeling like my partner enjoys one gender more than another. Shaaba shows me that people can love people for who they are as people, and be attracted to them, regardless of the junk they’ve got in their swim trunks.
(I’m fluid if that clears up any of the confusing concepts in this comment)
I agree, Shaaba - my dad is so oblivious and in his own world that I'm 95% sure he wouldn't notice if a realistic packer was staring at him from my sock drawer XD
Turns out that I didn’t need to come out as trans my whole family has been thinking that I’m trans
Yesterday my grandma said you like being my grandson right and I just silently said yes she went ok and went back to cooking most stressful minute of my life
(First: i love your vids
So I was playing Tetris whilst watching this video, and when you were reacting to the one where the guy had to come out to the whole school, an ad on Tetris popped up with really opera-like-dramatic music. Perfect timing.
I love your relationship! It's so sweet and I love the on screen jokes you let the world see
I'm non-binary and when I came out to my friend group my bestie was super nice about it (calling me by my preferred name and pronouns), she also came out as bi after me and we were both super happy that we had a safe place with our friends. This year I am doing online school so I wont be able to see her as much as I usually do. Today she called me up and asked me if she could buy me a non-binary pride flag I literally cried and we planned to meet up at our favorite candy shop after it arrives in the mail, little does she know that I made her a painting that has all the bi-pride colors on it (she hasn't told her parents yet so it's like a secret bi-pride flag). I'm so lucky to have her as a bestie and I really hope she likes the painting I made for her.
I (FTM) was hanging out in my college dorm’s lounge (all women’s dorm) with some friends. My packer got loose while I was doing homework and it fell from my shorts when I stood. . . (It all went well. My friends and entire dorm was super supportive and used he/him for me and my proper name. They also switched back when my family came to visit because I wasn’t out to my dad yet)
not a fail in my eyes bc it was so hilarious but once at a lgbt+ youth club, we were all getting up from sitting on the floor to get snacks, and someone suddenly clutched at their pant leg to presumably catch their rogue packer and squeaked "MY BALLS JUST DROPPED!" hahahahaha
My favorite way to address a group and be gender inclusive come from the Doctor Who episode “Midnight “ from season 4. “Ladies and gentlemen, and variations there upon.”
AYY IM THE FIRST STORY
well how did it go at the end :0? your story had me laughing for five minutes so i hope the outcome was also nice qifnwkf
HOW DID IT GO
Miriam MP everyone was accepting except my nan at first but she is getting there :)
@@jamesgrayson4370 hey I know this was two months ago but is your nan accepting now?
I feel like some of those stories are what in french we call “acte manqué” : when you do something by mistake that your subconscious actually wanted you to do. The physical freudian slip if you will :)
i’m not on T but H&M has been great abt their dressing rooms, as long as i’m shopping on the men’s side no one seems to have a problem with me using the men’s dressing rooms! worth a try if anyone’s scared of being turned away like that! (also i swear by their jeans, they’re the best fit i’ve had)
H&M also has shirts that fit transmasc people so well! One of the only department stores that carries XS sizes. My sister took me to H&M shortly after my top surgery and I almost cried when I saw myself in nice fitting shirts with the body of my dreams
(( also the cashier was really cute and we hit it off a bit 🎉 ))
As a cis woman who often shops in the men's section, noone has ever said anything about which changing rooms I should or shouldn't use. I usually use those that are closer, so usually the ones that belong to whatever section the clothes I want to try on come from. I may occasionally have gotten some looks before, but not in a malicious way, more in a "huh, this sticks out from the norm and I wasn't really expecting it" kind of way. I've never experienced any problems with that.
To everyone in this comment section with unsupportive parents, I'm your mother now. I love you, you are valid no matter who you are and you are amazing. You can talk to me. 💕🏳️🌈
Hey jesse. Can we talk via discord
I was just wearing my shirt with the trans flag on it.
Also the way I came out was the school ringing in asking why I wanted to change my name to Jasper. They still haven't changed my name, I have been trans for almoust 2 years, know i wasnt female for 1/2 a year... It ended with kind of positivity, only my parents know, they still call me daughter but they are slowly getting used to calling me son.
Man I wish I could do that
@@chicken_nugget_boi4452 eyyy same name bros!
@@cattyghostly7414 eyyyyy!
I'm a not out and when I ordered my first to binder my mom opens the package thinking it was for her, she texted me and asked me why I'd ordered a booby torture device
'i just wanna torture my b00bs until they go away, mom, don't worry'
Literally that what it is tho 😂😭
@@miri5609 the way you wrote "boobs" made me read it in a funny voice lol
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
A BOOBY TORTURE DEVICE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The potato packer SEND me omg also i'm scared i will sign stuff with my name instead of deadname after quarantine because i didnt use that one for weeks
When I told my mom I was trans she literally said “no you’re not”.
Kevin H sorry to hear 😔 hope you’re okay ❤️
Yeah I’ve just learned to live with it. My parents don’t accept me but they’re not gonna kick me out or stuff so I guess I am luckier than some
Miriam H I hope you know that you’re amazing and valid and nobody can tell you what to identify as.
I send positive vibes ~~~•
Thanks y'all
today is my dads birthday but he's not home so i spend the rest of my time watching mileschronicles Jammidodger noahfinnce notcorry :) that just shows what a big gay i am
OMG YASSS SAME
Relatable
Relatable 100%
Is it weird this is me
Speaking of packer mishaps. I took mine out to go to the bathroom on a car trip, left it on top of my bag in the packing pouch. Fell asleep for awhile and then I switched seats with my bf's brother. I unknowingly kicked it out of the car when we did. So...somewhere in Kansas is a masho packer...in a farm ditch.
Also on that trip my bf (who is also trans and has a binder on, and a little beard) was misgendered at the Denny's but I wasn't? For the record, I'm maybe 3 months on t, just wearing a sports bra and my hair is really shaggy. It was incredibly surreal and sometimes I just don't understand cis people lol.
When I was younger I used to not really mind wearing feminine clothes because I have always been really shy and didn't want to upset my mum. Looking back on it now, I barely recognise old photos of me as myself because I only dress masculinely (but I'm not out as trans to anyone but my close friends)
That moment when you realize 9:30 - 12:00 are both of your stories
Oof- that packer story
which one
I want to know how ypu can be wearing a packer at the beach and not be out?! Poor guy!
The high level of comedy in this totally cured me of crying all over the last thing I watched!
Also I love the contrast between Shaaba looking bright and cheery with the yellow chair and then Jamie doing a white guy blend into the wall behind him! lol
I'm a waitress and whenever I'm in doubt abt "sir" or "ma'am" everyone is "love" "what can I get you to drink my love" because I am the biggest ally and I've misgendered someone once and I never wanna make that mistake again.
I lost it at “table leg.” 🤣
"You're channeling your inner Roly" I already love this video
Jamie’s face when he hit the fan is incredible
I used to cry everytime I had to wear a dress when I was younger (weddings etc) and there’s a picture from an event where I’m in a dress one photo and I look completely miserable and then there’s one from after I changed into jeans and a short sleeve button up and I look *over the fucking moon* and honestly idk how I didn’t figure out i was trans sooner
My sibling and I would always wear matching clothes. We're not the only kids my mom had, we're not twins, we just matched all the time and my brother thought it was creepy
gotta say as a nonbinary person that moment of terrified confusion on the faces of cis people working how how to address me is peak gender euphoria
As a visibly AMAB enby, I can't relate to that situation.
Shaaba said “potato” I thought “aren’t we spuds...?”
One of the stories remindes me of something that happend to me once, I had to give in an homework for a class. It got really late, cause I finished around 3 am and I signd the mail with my new name instead of my death name, because I was so exhausted
My friend is ftm and we were in math class before I knew and he passed his paper forward with his masculine name and after the teacher took it i told him and he said he forgot to put the date and grabbed it from him quickly. that’s how we came out to each other-
The last time i was this early i had a different name
Damn that's a good one... I'm cis but I'll steal this so I can give it to my trans friend :)
It’s so sad there’s no pride this year, but on the last day of school we are having a car parade. I am going to stick my head out the sunroof of our car and wave a very large pride flag.
That's so gay bruh
Amalia Serkin I’m wondering whether you know about Virtual Pride! It’s happening all through June on yt, TikTok, insta, Twitter, etc. Just search fx.kiara.fx or Virtual Pride and you’ll find them!
@@frenchiestfry9045 that is literally the most wholesome thing i've heard this week
Pure strangeness no, it’s virtual school, but we have to turn in our laptops so we’re doing a car parade where we can’t exit our car
@@frenchiestfry9045 How? I wantttt too dooo ittttt!
Gosh you guys are such a cute couple!
Like whenever I see a thumbnail and it has both of you I just start smiling! 💖
Thank you, I did enjoy my sprite that day :3
You guys are an amazing pair. Watching you two together makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.
Jamie: your channeling your inner Roly
Me just got done binging Rolys videos: *screech in piercings*
I'm here sitting in my room eating while my binder is drying amongst my other laundry, now thinking that what if my mother decides to move my wet laundry for some reason and notices it
6:33
Gives a whole new meaning to Jamie's intro...
We are the packers
It's really awkward when someone genders you correctly but your with family your not out to yet and they correct that person.
No matter how angry and disappointed I become... even watching an old vid just settles me inside.
YOU ARE BOTH AMAZING HUMAN BEINGS!
Shaaba’s laugh is so endearing and just makes me feel really happy :)
when jamie waved at the end i waved back and i have no clue why
I'm still so confused about the UK having gendered changing rooms. Like why? Everyone is in their own cubicle anyway 🤔
The united states also has gendered changing rooms
At my high school we really don't, girls in bras and panties is typically just out in the open in there, even the showers don't have stalls. Luckily my school doesn't make us use them. I usually just change in the bathroom stall in there since I'm self conscious but the partial nudity is pretty normal here in the U.S.
@@outtathepantry yes that's what it's like in high schools here too, but they were talking about changing rooms in stores, like where you go to try on clothes.
There are like 3 stalls in most (at schools at least) so it would literally take hours for everyone to get changed. And public ones aren't much bigger.
I had a sub a couple weeks before we were let off school for quarantine.
The sub came and asked everyone’s names and said “What is his name?” I responded with my name (Birthname, my name is an intersex name (griffin) and i’m ftm.) The kid sitting across from me was about to correct her and say I was a girl but I stared at him and shook my head no. He stared at me with pure shock and concern which I don’t understand bringing up the fact he was in my class for years and I was a tomboy since I was 3.
Bonus story: We had a thing in spanish where we had to find adjectives for ourselves and use the endings, a if we are female, o male, and e is non-binary. I put the male ending (suffix? Idk what it’s called for spanish) and handed in. I got extremely scared to come back the next day and see her reaction and she hasn’t said anything yet. It still bothers me.
I think it's a good sign that you were given a non-binary option. If they're open to non-binary identities they'd be open to binary trans people.
Or maybe I'm ignorant about spanish--in french there's no such thing as non-binary adjectives, unfortunately
hi im a spanish native speaker - there arent really any gender neutral adjectives, but it is acceptable in some contexts to change the ending of a word to e from a or o to reflect neutrality. most people will not take you seriously though.
I totally understand. I just bring it upon myself to use the e or x. I am Mexican and I am nonbinary. It is such a struggle.
i'm nonbinary too! though i just let them use the a. i am weak lol. fuerza hermanx latinx ✊🏽❤️
I had to pause the video for like five minutes to think about packing with a potato
So I've been watching your videos for awhile, and after recently coming out as non-binary to my husband, he's started making sure he watches them with me too. :) He's been totally accepting, and makes sure that I know he supports me, and that he educates himself.