Therapist Reacts to SOUL
Vložit
- čas přidán 2. 04. 2021
- What do you do when you either don't know your purpose or feel like you can't live up to it? Joe Gardner and 22 seem to be opposites - one fears life, and the other fears death - but they really struggle with the same fear: failure. Something a lot of us can relate to.
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright discuss Pixar's SOUL, a movie Alan very much relates to (and therefore many tears are shed). They talk about living a fulfilling life, family relationships, and the beautiful design and music in this film.
Support us!
Patreon: / cinematherapy
Merch: store.dftba.com/collections/c...
Internet Dads Popcorn: ctpopcorn.com
Rent or buy Soul here: amzn.to/3sPA3Fx
Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis - Krátké a kreslené filmy
The thing someone should have told you is that we don't need more Steven Spielbergs. We have one already. We need YOUR movies. Your contribution, that only you can make. Same goes for everyone. Make your movies. Paint your pictures. Write your books. The world needs the thing that only you can make.
Needed to hear this, even if my contributions will only be seen by or matter to very few people directly. We have no idea of the ripple effect (or butterfly effect, for that matter) we may have
You nailed it, Misty
This is the loveliest thing to hear in the morning, especially after thinking my writing wasn’t enough. Thank you Misty. I wish you nothing but love, health, and happiness!🥺💞
This is the loveliest thing I’ve read all week. Thank you
I needed to hear that. Thank you.
I just realized it's another layer that Joe is a great teacher is that he ends up being the only mentor to ever teach 22 about life in a way that connects with her.
Like no matter how trained a teacher is, sometimes all a student needs is to be understood.
Something I picked up when I watched the movie was that very early on, Joe accidentally helped a soul discover their spark despite not being their mentor, by kicking a football towards them. I'm thinking that it was setting up the conclusion that he's good at mentoring others.
Exactly. How's that for a purpose, finally bringing a thousands-year old soul finally to life just through your own spark being so bright? It worked on Curly too, and he even inspired his own mother while being translated by an avowed anti-Earth cynic while trapped in the body of a cat! And how many times could Dorothea have heard something like his "accept me" speech? He had more than one talent...
Yeah I've noticed that to; all the big historically famous movers and shakers just could not get through to her no matter how hard they tried, then along comes this "Average Joe" who finally has an effect on the girl.
That's such a beautiful observation! Wow
When my sister told my parents she wanted to be an actress, my dad sat her down and told her this: we will support whatever you want to do, but instead of defining success as being a famous actress, which, no matter how talented you are, requires a good amount of luck, your goal should be getting to do what you love for a living, such as working with a local theater. I think that may be a way to say what your mom meant without insulting your talent. My sister started her nonprofit theater when she was 23-years-old, and it's still doing well after 13 years despite the hiatus during COVID.
What’s the name of the theater? I would like to check it out if I can .
@@bombasticbyaatch1803 The Three Leaches in Denver.
I think that’s the reason why 22 is number 22… it’s the traditional age a person might finish college and is expected to “find their purpose”
@@realSimoneCherie WOOOOAAAHHH hadn't made that connection but it makes so much sense
🙏🏾🙏🏾
This movie came out right around the time I was on the edge of suicide. The scene where Joe just takes a moment to reflect on the little things in life sparked an emotional break down I won't soon forget. I almost lost it all but this movie gave me such a huge reminder that even though I feel lost and worthless, sometimes just being alive is enough.
You should write a letter to the writers of the movie thanking them, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
I watched this movie for the first time today, I loved it.
I’m so happy you’re still here ❤ this movie makes me appreciate life for what it is, instead of what I wish it was.
Thank you so much for staying with us, I hope you enjoy your time here and live life in all its fullness: happiness, sadness, and all else
You know man I love you that’s how great you are kay? I too am not feeling too great at the moment but let’s get through this..
This movie is brilliant in its message, because it’s a very non-Disney approach. Disney tends to give the message of “follow your dreams” and “don’t give up on them”. This movie, however, tells you that perusing a dreams is cool and all, but there’s more to life than endlessly chasing a dream. Enjoying a piece of pie or pizza, talking to people, or just simply sitting down, taking in a breath of fresh air, and appreciating the world around you...that’s living.
But it's not just disney it's pixar... And their stories are always about hard choices, feelings and realizations
It’s the little things also...
@@kissynuggett3727 Pixar is disney though. Everything 3D animation by Disney will be from Pixar.
And yeah, but it's always in some cathartic, hero's journey type style that is completely unrealistic and to an extent unrelatable. Not everybody needs to hear "Follow your dreams, you can do it!" in fact some need the opposite, cause they took that first message and ran too far with it.
Monsters University broke away from the follow your dreams formula with Mike Wazowski.
@@mirriadel true but it was also a sub par movie so I feel like it’s less memorable than Soul.
I think the barbershop scene was so important! 22 was so free in Joe’s body that she didn’t feel constrained at all. Joe put himself into a box and he put others into boxes too. He didn’t talk to his barber about anything else. He missed out on other relationships and impactful conversations he could’ve had.
I think it's cute how at first 22 was nervous about being in the shop; but after Dez gave her the lollipop she was able to feel more calm, never under estimate the power of a lollipop.
And I really do like Joe but in the start of the movie he did kind of strike me as some what selfish; choosing to only talk to Dez about himself and is love for Jazz music and not giving the other person a chance to talk about themselves and something else for a change, I think that Joe got basically a wake up call after 22 asked "Huh. How come we, um, never talked about your life before?" and then Dez answered “You never axed”.
@@scarysara9364 Well, that's exactly what they're going for. Most people are pretty self centered and forget there's a complex and beautiful world beyond themselves because they don't have curiosity for it anymore; they look at their limited experiences and think, "Yeah, that's all there is."
Joe learns this as a flawed person, like us. Imo he's very selfish (never really caring for 22 learning about life, having a narrow definition of purpose, etc.) but it's not an _unreasonable_ or _bad_ thing necessarily. He only needs to look beyond his limited perspective. It's nice the film approaches his selfishness like this, esp since he's supposed to be a character most of us can see ourselves in.
@@lotsofuwuenergy3983
Very True
I like how Joe and 22 are basically helping and teaching the other one; but doing it accidentally and unknowingly of course, sort of a “You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours” type of relationship I guess you could call it.
Yeah, Joe isn't selfish because he's a bad person, it's because he doesn't know better
What does it mean when someone puts someone into a box?
The reason I stuck around watching these when I first was introduced to the channel, was that you would cry at many of the same parts as I do so I immediately felt a connection "this guy feels movies and emotions just like I do and isn't ashamed about it, I want to keep hearing his thoughts about them"
Aw, thanks! Happy to share my damage. Not sure I have super-coherent or useful thoughts very often, but, you know... I need therapy. -alan
@@CinemaTherapyShowthe mere fact that you agree that you need therapy, that you don’t shy away from that and that not only are you out here declaring it but also showing us ALL, so intensely, why and how much it helps…
Well, it’s already helping a lot of people
@@CinemaTherapyShowwe all need therapy 😄. But the best kind of therapy is the kind where the ‘therapist’ is able to make an authentic impact on the person in the chair. And your willingness to share your vulnerability and authenticity has done precisely that.
You’re wiser than you know, Alan. 😉
This exact feeling is honestly one of the reasons I vibe with this channel so much, and I’ve never realized it before. Thanks for putting this into words so well 😊
@@CinemaTherapyShowThe fact you are open with your feelings and saying you need therapy is affirming to so many of us. Your passion for filmmaking and your clear understanding of it is always inspiring, keep bringing that into the world and it will make the lives of everyone who sees it that much richer.
"You don't have to be a public roaring success to feel fulfilled" was beautiful and healing to hear.
Lately I've always wondered if it can be enough to just BE. What if I don't have the aspiration to do something 'great' with my life? What if my personal 'great' is drinking a cup of hot chocolate in front of my window while it snows? A beautiful sunrise when I go to work very early in the morning? Looking at the full moon, taking walks in the nearby forest, reading my Harry Potter books for the 10000th time and still laugh, cry and get excited at the same old moments in the pages I already know by heart?
A simple life can also be successful and wonderful too.
It sounds very great to me!
This is what I like too just simple pleasures of life ❤️
The way you describe it sounds so beautiful. I love it ❤
My first goal in life, my true ambition has always been to be happy. And I've never know if it was being ambitious or not ^^
Burnt out college student here. I’m so terrified I’ve already ruined my life when it’s barely begun. This video just helped me breathe. It reminded me that I have value and worth beyond what I do.
I'm a freshgraduate after 7 years of college, and currently taking online courses because I have nothing to offers skillwise in job affairs. And it is actually fine. I still have a lot opportunities to try ahead in this days of internet. And I surely hope you had a lot more than I do. It's allright mate. Just start doing what you find a little bit interesting. And finish what you started. You'll eventually found your path.
Cheers!
You absolutely do ! You were someone before college and you will be after ! It's just a small part of your life and it doesn't dictate how many amazing adventures you will get to live.
I empathize with you. Please get nutrition advice and guidance from someone who is alternative and will give you magnesium and other things. It's physical too.
Get trauma release therapy if you can.
Trust me, I delayed doing that for 15 long years. Due to money which I could have borrowed.
I'm 37 and burnt out again without a clue as to career even though I have skills and ambition and drive.
You need to heal, and I pray you're guided to what is the best way for you soon and not ten years later like I did
Wow i felt this so much. Thank you for articulating
Me too! I’m just pushing to the end of the semester and then taking two years to heal and recharge
One thing I think was overlooked in the movie was that 22's Mentors were all these great, larger than life people who's achievements were very valued on Earth. But the person who really got through to her was just an ordinary guy who already did what she feared most, and that was to fail.
Wow, that's a really good point! Thanks for pointing that out. :)
To add on, all the previous mentors were satisfied by having lived, Joe was the first who was only concerned with getting back to living.
Her mentors were awful. They bullied and shamed and insulted her. I didn't like that. I know what the point of it was storywise...she was SO difficult even these amazing people got frustrated and couldn't help... I still thought it unfairly tarnished good people and it was no wonder she struggled if this was thew way her mentors treated her...the place was set up to be a place of wisdom and acceptance and encouragement and yet they chose people who would be so awful to her...? Why?
@@Andreamom001 here a video that explains it so clearly. Btw those amazing people aren’t exactly nice people. czcams.com/video/VUAu3prsGD8/video.html
@@Andreamom001 I feel like the point was that they tried, and tried, and tried, and continued to fail, to the point that they had to get upset and give up. She was that difficult - and it wasn't her fault, but it wasn't theirs either. I think this experience speaks to a lot of neurodivergent kids, and potentially, their parents. Just because she couldn't adapt, she genuinely drove people nuts, and they lashed out on her. Lashing out on her was absolutely abnormal and bad of course, but they weren't being mean to her on *purpose*.
Another element of it is that 22 had been shielding herself from her own fears by pretending that she didn't care - this gets mentioned in the video, she developed a bad attitude to hide them. For that reason, her mentors probably thought she was being bad on purpose. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't. This isn't exclusive to neurodivergent kids/teens, by the way, as a lot of teenagers with "bad attitudes" are simply misunderstood.
I just have to say... this is my favorite corner of CZcams. The raw emotion and honesty both Alan and Jono bring to the channel is honestly incredible. I'm still an actual child as of now, but I really want to do what you guys do. Seeing Jono truly empathize and listen to Alan, help him as both a friend and supporter, is what I want to contribute to the world. That's what therapy, psychiatry, is really all about. Helping people through their struggles. Giving them a shoulder to cry on. Wow, I'm crying now. What an amazing channel. In the off-chance that you guys see this, you guys are seriously making a difference. Hope you have a great day :)
That’s such a wonderful aspiration and I am cheering for you all the way. We need more people like these two!
im also a kid, 14 but i really want to be a therapist for mostly the same reasons as you. And im really glad that there are other people like me in that way. I dont wanna accuse but i feel like most teens are focused more on how likable they are instead of enjoying life, and I also struggle with this daily but if i can acknowledge it then thats a start right?
I think the way that the movie didn't show us who 22 become when she was born as human on earth is brilliant. It's an opportunity that the movie wants us to take to restart our lives with the whole new perception on life and to ACTUALLY LIVE our lives from then on. In a sense, we are all 22. The unwritten part of 22's life is for all of us to fill.
Plus, how often do we really get to know the lives we touched? Most of the time, we never see the outcome of someone we influenced. Seeing that outcome isn’t what is important.
Alan Seawright is the co-creator of something I have been watching for the last few months and got me through really difficult times. Steven Spielberg has never done that. Thank you Alan, you guys mean a lot to me.
Oh Man. I’m literally tearing up reading this. Thank you. Seriously. You give me life.
Agree
Yeah this comment made me cry all over again! The message is so important.
@@CinemaTherapyShow :) I really mean it, thank you for the videos!
That is so crazy beautiful. What a thought!
I've always loved the quote by Albert Einstein "everyone's a genius, but if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree it'll live it's while life believing it's an idiot." It's always reminded me to not compare myself to others and to focus on what I love and what I'm good at
I wish I knew this quote sooner. My entire family talks down to me and treats me like I'm stupid to the point where I believe it. Even though I *know* that I have adhd and depression. It's ingrained in my head that I'm just stupid and that's how it is. And I can't change it.
what if im not good at anything
@@MartairEPIC You’re good at one thing, being yourself.
@Young Machi I'm eternally grateful to you... I really wanted someone to say this.. I'm sick of my parents comparing me with other kids. Thanks a lot man..!
Another great quote of his is something like "The true test of genius is being able to make the complex simple to those who have no experience with it"
As a psychologist I love seeing how open both of you are with your emotions. It means a lot to see this normalized on the channel!
And by men! I fricken love this so much.
I’ve never been moved so deeply from a movie. I’ve been dealing with poor health for the past 2 years. It’s been bad enough that I have been unable to pursue many of my passions and goals. I’ve been really depressed because I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything and now my health may prevent me from ever reaching my full potential. But this movie delivered the exact message I needed to hear. I’m no longer worrying about the future or regretting things I’ve done in the past. I’m completely in the present and it’s honestly perfect. I’ve learned to cherish every small thing such as spending time with my family or sitting outside listening to the birds. So much of our suffering comes from our anxieties of the future or regrets about the past. It’s crazy how much it blinds us to the beauty of the moment. Life is about the journey not the destination. This movie is a masterpiece
I so agree, the internet and society is so full of people telling you that if you don't do something 'great' (whatever that means), that you're living life without purpose. The real purpose in life is living in the present. Life is not something you should measure, it is something you should just live. That's all there is to it.
thats deep. hope you well.
Just make sure , when it's your time , DO NOT go into the White Light, go to the Dark void.
You'll know exactly what I mean soon .
This channel is so insanely beautiful, thank you both for bringing this into the world
One of the best!
You are so very welcome. This means the world to us.
Glad you enjoy it!
Thank you guys. Big hug to Alan, from France : with internet you are watched from all over the world 💙 you make a difference 🌍
Agreed!
"The meaning of life is to live it." I cannot believe this is the first time I heard that from someone else. Its so true. Thank you
I heard other quotes like this, like “the meaning of life is to search for the meaning of life” and i think its really true
You should listen to Alan Watts
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans...
It feels so weird when you hear iy
😭😭😭😭😭😭🤧 I LOVE THIS MOVIE and that quote
For so long, I felt like an outcast because of how much I love stories. From deconstructing characters and plots to seeing how a writer (in both books and movies) gets their point across, I love every aspect of it. However, a lot of people found this annoying or pretentious whenever I would try to share my love for it; even my own family. Watching this show has given my passions a chance to be recognized as real. To hear others discussing how powerful movies and stories can be, regardless of the medium, is so validating for me. I can't thank you two enough.
So agreed with you. This channel has been so validating for how I process storytelling. I often get the "you're taking it too seriously, it's not that deep" when deconstructing media, but like... that's simply my favorite part. So thank you too, for sharing.
I feel the same way, thank you for this comment
I feel like I wrote this. I always talk about stories especially animated movies to everyone I know. And I’m trying to get into the animation industry. I rlly felt like I wrote this comment
Lots of cultures remember their history through stories, and for lots of people including myself reading fantasy/sci fi etc is a way to escape our lives for a while.
No matter what people have said to you stories are important.
Thank you, I feel seen.
Just want to say that your videos are having an impact on audience all over the world. I'm from Brazil and I feel very lucky to have access to such content. Alan is so refreshing and real, it's so lovely to watch a man being so open and brave to be this vulnerable, I can see myself in a lot of his reactions, and this is absolutely amazing. At the same time,when Jono is making room for Alan's feelings and bringing a therapists pov into the context, I feel listened too, and that's so much like having a therapy, cause I feel like I'm healing through the video. It's so wonderfull how much of an impact a project like this can have in a lot of lives. Thank you guys for your amazing work. Kudos from BR.
Thank you so much for sharing. We appreciate you! Thanks for watching!
I was hoping that Alan's mom responded to him by saying:
"You can't. There's a million people trying to be Spielberg and only 1 Spielberg. Instead of trying to make movies like someone else, go make movies like Alan Seawright."
But hey now I know what to say to my hypothetical kid if they come to me saying "I wanna do this thing like this person"
That was exactly the same thing that crossed my mind!
I thought that too.
I was thinking the same too!
i honestly scrolled down here to write the same comment
That's exactly what went through my mind too ❤
"Life is not a problem to solve but a reality to experience."--Frank Herbert
"something something spice something flow" - dune Herbert
“Watch me ruin this dude’s philosophy”
-School
@@mich5131 haha damn that got me
Said the dude who literally wrote the most well-known sci-fi book in the universe where hypervigilant-style predictive problem-solving is the most important thing in the story (Mentats, Bene Gesserit, Guild Navigators, and The Kwizatz Haderach all do it). That quote must've been Herbert *after* therapy, LOL.
@@mesheree well, if we look at Dune Messiah and later books, we can see that Herbert is explicitly critiquing this approach. The powerful try to use their prescience and other superhuman abilities to change the world for the better, but they all only bring more pain to humanity.
That story about you, as a kid, wanting to make a movie like Spielberg really resonated with me. When I was younger I grew up loving and making art, I thought that was my plan, to become an artist and I wanted to help make animated movies like, "the Prince of Egypt." When I told my mom that in my future, I want to be an animator, she said to get a real job. All I heard was, all these years of you being so EXPLICITLY passionate about something you're great at... you have to stop, because what you want is silly.
I love that the Prince of Egypt was your inspiration for wanting to make animated movies. That was my favorite movie growing up and I watched it every week.
I think something that's not discussed enough is that your passion or purpose doesn't have to be your paid job. My husband was a musician but he didn't earn his income that way. He would have hated being a professional musician having to worry about if his music appealed to others traveling etc. He worked a day job and was a musician in his spare time and that left him free to enjoy it to make it his without worrying if it paid the bills.
Thank you Alan for sharing your story here. It can't be easy to talk about something so heartfelt publicly. Best wishes from Britain
Jonathan here. Alan is courageous as hell and I love him for it. When the world opens again we'd love to come to the UK's version of Comic-Con and say hello!
Please do! I've never been to Comic-Con but would so go if you guys came 😄
@@CinemaTherapyShow oh yeah ! Another UK fan here would love to see you guys 🙂👍
I have grown up surrounded by men who never cried, never expressed how they felt and the pains and woes of their feelings. Getting to see a man express himself, and cry, and talk about pains that he'd felt in ways I that I have expressed myself was honestly so validating and nice. This really hit home for me, thank you for your vulnerability, thank you for showing me your heart and your past.
As a girl, seeing you cry made me feel better about crying at the same thing. I feel like we're supposed to reject being girly and emotional all the time and it was completely okay for me to feel this way about the movie and about my life because you are too just as strongly.
Nothing says "manly man" more than suppressing all your emotion and turning into a emotional wreak just because you're so insecure that you don't want to be called a woman!
As a guy I think I cried a little a the end but thats a good thing, if a movie that good can make you cry happy then you knows its good.
That kind of mindset’s why male suicides are 4:1 worldwide. I’d tell ya to ask my father but...
Take care of yourself, my friend🙃
❤️❤️❤️
I know you'll never see this Alan, but you've made a world of an impact on my life. This channel and all the vidoes you guys have made get me through so many tough days and have helped me realize how to be a person and friend and learning the difference. You're amazing and know that you changed (AT THE VERY WORST ) 1 life for the better Thank you both, you're awesome :)
We check CZcams comments every day because we wouldn't want to miss comments like this. Thank YOU so much for your kind words. You're doing great! Thanks for watching. 😊
The message of this film hits home for me because growing up I genuinely fully believed that i would die before 17. I'm not sure why I thought that but when my 17th birthday came I was terrified because suddenly the idea of having a future could apply to me and I wasn't prepared at all. I'm 22 now and while I have some plans for the future I'm mostly just happy that I still get to experience being alive :)
I'm 22 now ---> you didn't notice the irony did you
I think I also believed I would’ve been dead before 17, because I didn’t see myself living beyond a set of exams I had when I was 16 that felt like the world to me at the time. I was also scared at 17. I’m nearly 20, and I’m still working on myself, but I don’t tie my self worth to my academic achievements so much anymore
Well done for getting here, I’m sure it hasn’t been entirely easy but you’re doing it
This was the exact same for me and now I’m about to graduate high school.
I really don’t know what to expect now.
I relate so much to this it's almost creepy. I turned 17 two days ago and I'm terrified of the future. While most of my friends are excited to grow up, I have no idea what I will do or how I will build a life for myself, despite many people around me thinking I'm going to have a brilliant future because I do well in school. While it's heartwarming to have people who believe in me, this also makes me more scared of failing to adjust well as an adult and becoming a sort of Rory Gilmore (basically someone who peaks in high school and makes a mess of things after growing up).
It's clever that the soul's number is 22, because that's the age when a lot of people start having the problems this film explores.
Around the age someone usually graduates college
Soul was Pixar's 23rd film.
As someone who is about to turn 22 this month I feel called out
@@ifancycurly Same. I watched this film initially for background noise while playing Minecraft (my go to when I feel down) and I remember having to pause the game part way through because it spoke to me.
It wasn't the film alone, but on top of therapy and other skills, it really helped me feel less pressure to be the shining star of perfection and just live to enjoy things and not be ashamed im not aiming for "greatest"
@@ifancycurly I just turned 22 last Monday I feel you
Alan,
As someone who is extremely burnout and crying everyday just to get through the last stretch of her university semester, I want to say thank you for sharing with us your story. We cried together and seeing where you are today makes me feel better about the future. :)
Thanks for sharing! You got this!
You can do it.
I'm legit in the same boat. I'm in my last semester too, trying to finish a short animation film, crying about so many things about it and life (whether or not I can do it, what would I even do with this thing I made, what's my voice even about etc). Just know you aint alone and you can do this, and even though I don't know you, I believe in you and I just wanted to give support ❤️
You're not alone, let's get through this semester together
i am the same, i got 2 weeks until a deadline and i have been so exhausted and on the edge constantly. but i am trying to think of it that i am doing my best now and that's all i can do and just get it done.
Alan, I hope you're reading this. I can't tell you how many times I've watched these episodes and felt that you are a reflection of my own experiences and aspirations and insecurities. I've never met a man who can make me cry just by getting choked up. Thank you for being your amazing, creative, beautiful, authentic self. This content has ment the world to me.
I just wanna say how much I truly truly appreciate this channel and what you two do. I love cinema, and God knows I need therapy, and you two have magically brought those two things together. The openness, the raw feelings, the emotions you both go through and speak to, honestly...I love this channel and I love you guys. Can't tell you how many times I've wept watching and listening to your content, wept for myself, for the both of you, wept for all of us together, my God...if this isn't the single greatest channel on YT then I don't know what is. Thank you guys, thank you for being there for the love of cinema and for the love of the human experience, you have my truest and most sincere thanks 💛
Wow, thank you so much! 💛
"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
Makes me feel better abt all the content I consume!
I don’t think that goes for everything though. As life can’t all be pleasure. One can learn something from self control.
Perfect! *continues scrolling on TikTok for 2 more hours*
@@InjusticeJosh that is so true, i agree
@@InjusticeJosh True we need to be responsible just as much as we need fun and enjoyment. That's why balance is key.
I hate the "I didn't want to see you suffer" excuse that parents give. Not fulfilling my calling is suffering. Even if you go down the road they think is most safe there will still be suffering. It's just the type of suffering that THEY can handle and potentially help you through.
Exactly. Plus, what career is safe these days even?
Oh wow. You have out into words what I think. Thank you.
That is why I wasn't allowed to have a pet as a child after my hamster died, why I couldn't have a close friend (and because having close friends is obsessive behaviour), or try new things because going to church and stay in the church is the right thing to do, so you won't suffer.
to be fair, no sane parents would willingly subject their children to pain & suffering, especially not when they can prevent it. But this just means parents should accept this and not coddle them, because you can't coddle your children forever, life will come eventually.
@@islagreenburg1145 the point is that it DOES NOT prevent pain. These days even "safe" jobs are not safe
Alan's little tangent about his struggle with his mom did so much more than speak to me. I want to thank you guys for producing these videos and making these connections because you really do heal us through your own experience, while watching movies. I feel like my eyes were open to my own personal struggles with my talent because of this and I will not hide the fact that I ugly cried when Alan was reacting to Joe confront his mom.
What you both are doing is a purpose. You are touching lives and helping people. What could be better than that? Keep doing it and much thanks:)
They are fortunate to have viewers who care. That's what counts. That's currently my issue. Nobody cares about my contributions. And. I gotta learn to live with that.
What could be better? Lisa's popcorn.
"You can't be the next Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, or BTS. There are a million people trying to be them. Instead, you can be you because there's only one of that." is a quote that will always stick with me.
'JUNG KOOK IS MY FAVORITE AND I DONT CARE IF IM NOT KOREAN ENOUGH TO BE HIM I AM JUNG KOOK'
@@heetman5925 uhh
@@heetman5925 That's concerning.
@@heetman5925 delete this comment
@@heetman5925 you need therapy
In the words of harry styles: if you're happy doing what you're doing, nobody can tell you you're not successful
Yes! I think of that from time to time!
I'm not familiar with Harry Styles and his work, but I know a lot of young people look up to him. If that's his attitude towards life, then I'm happy young people have such a good role model.
@@fatcat1414 he is actually a really good influence. He always says to treat people with kindness and be yourself. He has honestly given me a lot of happiness and hope, Im very glad I found him and his music
Happiness can only be sustained when basic needs are met. We have the resources to end hunger, homelessness, and medical bankruptcy . We simply lack the political and social will to stand up to the billionaires. Worst economic inequity since Egyptian times.
@@EroticInferno this has exactly nothing to do with my comment tho
I'm so damn glad that these two dorks decided to share their love of movies with the world and ended up healing so many hidden scars in themselves and us.
Like, they will never know how many souls they've touched.
You guys are awesome.
Holy shit that pie thing made me tear up! You never really know what someone is feeling inside, or how they are interpreting the world around them.
Also, I love that you mentioned your kid wanting to be Spider-Man. That was Stan’s whole point to Spidey, anyone, absolutely anyone can be the person behind the mask. That’s what makes him so incredible and relatable. And why he is my favorite superhero.
Watching Alan cry was so therapeutic for me, I like people who are in touch with their emotions, especially, men. I like men who are authentic and can cry and not feel like it undermines their masculinity. Because it doesn't, it just shows they are human.
Yes
We need to normalize crying men. This idea that they shouldn't cry because it makes them "weak" Or "sissy" Is honestly extremely toxic and a terrible double standard to live by.
You could say I'm the onion to men. I've seen very many partners in my life tear up from various reasons. Sometimes it is just better to let tears come so that eyes won't get too irritated.
@@jadeheart4587 yes I agree with you! It’s so sad how men are automatically viewed as weak for crying:/ at the end of the day they are humans just like women and they too have emotions
Everything in moderation. It's fine to show emotion and to cry, but do you enjoy the idea of a man that cries at everything? Who gets angry at the drop of a hat? Who laughs as loud as possible in the movie theatre?
We need filters at acceptable levels, the alternatives are emotionless husks, violent aggressors, and grown men that throw tantrums. The problem isn't teaching men how to be emotional, it's teaching men to have healthy emotional reactions to things.
As someone on the spectrum, emotional health is something I struggle with, determining what is a healthy reaction to a stimulus. I was a very, very angry child. To some extent, I still feel that angry child in me, but I've learned to cope with most of it in healthy ways. I still swear more than I should, pound the desk from time to time, but I've learned to step back and look at it objectively.
It's taken many years of therapy, and I still feel that angry, petty child in me, telling me to retort to every vaguely negative comment and lash out. Only in the last couple of years have I learned to reign that pettiness in, after leaving many years worth of comments and posts that I regret. Everything in moderation.
Just wanna let you two know you’ve become a lot of safe teenagers surrogate internet dads. And that’s certainly one of my aspirations in life.
THIS
FR! 💯
YES! And the feeling is so nice since I never had the experience since mine passed away when I was still a baby
@@seherling207 it’s crazy how even though we never had a father figure, we feel at peace with two complete strangers.
Dramacat 21 agree, in my case my father didn’t completely take part in my life and the feeling of safety and security these guys can make us get to feel it’s simply fascinating!
One of my favorite movies. We are not here to fulfill a specific purpose. We are here because we exist. And that is enough.
When this came out, the scene where 22 is appreciating life, the leaf falling into her hand... God I cried. Because I was so depressed. Everyday felt the same. The world felt like it was in grayscale. But... God. The way she was just enjoying life was so eye opening. Because all I wanted was for that to be me.
Happy to still be here and enjoying the little things. 💙
If you give your kids what you needed from your mom and didn’t get... You have made all the difference in the world.
And the funny thing... all kids would have had something missing from a parent... of course, they themselves would probably miss something too... but it's important to try and be better than your parent, then you did something right.
Just make sure there wasn't a good reason for your parents to do what they did first and don't be like Toph.
@Angelique Buchanan Disagreed, I'd say "If you give your kids what THEY need the most from YOU... You have made all the difference in the world." Because everyone has their own different version of needs in life. What you needed from your mom and didn't get has nothing to do with what your kids need from you. A real parent is the best friend of their kids.
Thank you
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
“You don’t need to know your purpose to live”. There is a lot of stuff that you guys said in this episode that really hit home and rang true, but nothing so much as this. Thank you.
You're so welcome!
As someone still figuring it out I'm just enjoying trying to live a comfortable life I resonated with the quote so much
That is the true meaning of what this movie calls a spark, the difference between one's purpose and one's reason to live. A purpose is something handed to you, be it by cosmic forces or imposed onto yourself by yourself, it is fake and it enslaves. A reason to live comes from within and is a genuine force to keep on living, it is one's passion and core motivation to everything one does.
it's barely been 50 seconds, and im crying
The movie is all about how completely arbitrary at best the concept of having a purpose is, and how no one has a life purpose; they're simply human beings.
My parents always said, "What's your back up, in case that doesn't work out." It gets across the same idea of not everything will work out, and I want you to be ready without implying you will fail.
Hearing Allen talk about how his mom made him feel as a kid, gave me a better understanding of why my mom is the way she is, because of how my Nana was.
Growing up, I was very lucky to have parents who encouraged my creativity and desire to be an artist. I had a dad who told me he was proud of me.
Still I never really felt I connected with my mom. Like she cared but she didn't know how to reach out and connect with me. Like she tried to say things moms say and go to school functions and all that, but she never really taught me anything. She's had a lot of hardship and depression and burdens to bear. But the one thing I'll always remember, is that she supported me being an artist, and encouraged me to keep drawing.
Now as an adult, I have more information. Back in the 80s, when my mom was a kid, she told her mom she wanted to be an artist, or a Marine Biologist. But her mom told her that those interests were stupid and you'll never make a living as that. You're a woman in the 80s, so you can be a nurse or a secretary. Pick one.
So my mom became a nurse. And she's good at it.
But hearing Allen talk about how devastated he was when his mom told him he can't be Steven Spielberg... I think that similar experience had a large impact on my mom's self esteem and the person she became.
But because she made the hard choice to support my wanting to be an artist, (which I understand is rather terrifying for any parent to hear from their kid) I got to have a mom that, when I ran up to her and said I wanted to be Steven Spielberg, she said Absolutely. You can do anything.
So if Allen ends up reading this, you might not know it yet, but your kids are going to grow up knowing that they had a dad that said that they can do anything.
And even if it seems small to you in the moment, they're going to hear those words for the rest of their lives, and it will make all the difference.
Don’t know if anyone noticed, but along with the linkage of the pie scene - when Joe was looking at his life and thinking it was “meaningless”, there’s a short scene of Joe teaching young Curly the drums. Fast forward to irl and Curly is really appreciative of the teaching Joe had given him. This is also extremely beautiful in showing how much Joe had actually impacted on people, but he refuses to see it and only views it negatively. Being that Joe was so obsessed with the one thing he thought was his purpose.
OH I see it now. Good eye!
YES! That's the thing!
This movie was the first movie where I felt represented. I do not have a purpose, a dream or a passion whatsoever. I am the happiest when I am eating an ice cream or other delicious foods, when I am walking in a forest, or when someone hugs me, etc. I just try to enjoy every moment of my life without ever worrying about the future. Watching all those disney, pixar and other movies telling us to "follow our dreams" or "not give up on them" I couldn't relate, even though I understood the characters. And I always felt guilty of not having a purpose or a passion. I thought there was something wrong with me like 22 did and even though I was satisfied with my lifestyle, I still felt like I had to find something to be my passion or purpose. After watching this movie, I was able to get rid of the little voice in my head telling me I'm worthless.
I want you to know that I feel the same way. As a kid I constantly changed my mind about what I wanted to be (a comic book artist, a marine biologist, an engineer). I kept changing majors in college until junior year I was forced to pick one (linguistics). Then I went back to school to study something else (cyber security). I ended up working in finance. My job is fine, I like my coworkers and it pays well. But sometimes I think maybe I should be something else, like an editor or a mortician.
Then I hit 30, and I realized that I really don't want to do anything. I don't want to work, I don't want to pick a career to define me. I wouldn't have a job if it wasn't required to pay my bills. I like to draw and write, but I don't have any burning desire to Create Art and I don't feel the need to share my work. I just want to chat with my friends, try new foods, pick up new hobbies and abandon them (hello knitting). I want to play videogames without the nagging feeling that I'm not being "productive" with my free time.
It feels weird to admit that I don't have any particular goals, especially in a society that basically worships single-minded ambition. We all love a story where the protagonist works towards being the World's Greatest X. It's nice to have a movie tell you it's ok to find contentment wherever you end up. Now if only I can get my boss to stop asking me where I see myself in 5 years...
@@victoriaoosterhout I feel so, too. I don´t have a life goal either and I never knew what I wanted to be or had a dream job still until now (i´m turning 30). But this doesn´t bother me too much. I am often thinking what I am good at and if this could be a job, that is suited for me and would make me happy, but I am so insecure that I hadn´t find anything yet and just stay in my current job that I am familiar with. But I don´t tell people that I don´t want to work or don´t have the feeling that I need to work, because I am afraid they think I´m just lazy^^ Currently I am lucky that I can work parttime and even with that people have asked me what I do with my free time and if I´m not bored. But I have enough hobbies like sewing, reading or playing computer games that makes me happy and fill out my days. Also I hate the common saying "Live your life as if it was the last day". This puts so much pressure to you and you have the feeling that you can´t sleep until midday because you wasted so much time of your day and you have to do something spezial every second. But I enjoy staying long in bed on sundays, why shouldn´t I do that. I see it as part of my day. Or just sitting on a bench and starring at nowhere and letting my thoughts wander around.
I relate 💯. I'm happiest when I have a cup of coffee or tea with something sweet. I love spending time with the people I love and feel whole when I'm around nature. I too feel like I lack a passion or purpose. I just whatever job I have in the future, it won't be the things that defines my existence
U just put my thoughts into words
While I'm very late to this train, I just wanted to express how grateful I am that you put my feelings into words.
As a kid, I loved being in school, because there was always someone telling me what a "good" goal was (straight As, popular extracurriculars, team captain spot, etc.), so I always thought I was goal-oriented. Then college came around and I spent most of my freshman and sophomore year panicking, because for the first time, I suddenly realized I didn't actually know what I wanted to do - but it certainly felt like everyone else around me did. I muddled my way to two bachelor's degrees under the guise of "giving myself more opportunities", but hell if I knew what those were.
It's been several years since I graduated, and while I know what I'm good at and what I enjoy, I have yet to find that "passion" that everyone loves to point to. I think I know what lifetime career I could enjoy doing, so I'm trying to make my way towards it. And yet, there's still that omnipotent voice of society asking, "But is this your passion?" While I can't say yes at this time, it's at least a goal that I've decided for myself for once, so I'm learning to accept that it's okay.
Thanks for letting a stranger connect with you, and thanks for making me feel less scared about "not being right."
This movie is so utterly beautiful. The scene with the barber saying he was going to be a vet, I mean my god I have had a couple major changes in plans/career for multiple reasons, and many are rather sad. I ended up setting banquets and functions for a hotel. It was supposed to be a job to hold me over until I found one that paid more, and then I ended up loving it. I've loved it for 15 years now. I still have people in my life, so many loved ones, ask me when I'm going to do something with myself and none of them get that I'm doing what I love doing and it is wonderful.
Thank you guys. I cried so hard hearing your story Alan. I`m an artist. I paint and teach for living and never had love, approved or support of my family. In fact, like you, they always told me that I will failed. They are no longer part of my life because I choose that. But I`m happy to have people that really support me like my friends. Soul got me too. I`m so happy that you share this. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your story too!
16:12 Can we all just take a moment here to appreciate the Mother. She sacrificed her dreams so that her husband could persue his and she'll probably be sacrificing her retirement so that her son can continue to chase his dreams... and nobody even notices it. That's how much our culture doormats mothers.
Excellent point.
True
I am pretty sure she doesnt see that sacrifice as a burden. Her top priority was her family so as long as they are happy she may feel fulfilled. But of course, it would be nice to tell those parents their effort is very much appreciated
I don’t know that the film ever suggests that she gave up what she wanted to do. If anything she seems a lot like the barber; a character who is happy in her own niche.
Dreams are not just about work also. I have MS, and a nursing daughter. I chose to not take my meds so my daughter can breastfeed to give her my immunity (during this plague) and help build her brain. I am making the conscious choice to protect her by hurting myself. It scares me, I love my mind, but I love her more.
god, as a high school senior about to graduate, go to college without discerning a purpose or a spark or a whatever, watching Soul and THEN watching THIS?! Hits DIFFERENT. so, really appreciated this guys. /gen
we’re in the same boat friend
Good luck
Sameeeeeee, i cant take the pressure of going to college, even choosing my course is so difficult to me.
I literally had my first brush with anxiety attacks my senior year of high school because I was TERRIFIED of college and who I'd be or grow to be. I was so used to being someone's little sister or someone's daughter but at college I would just be me. I graduated from university last year and I'm pretty proud of who've I become. Flaws and all!
Thank you
Many people don't see what's in front of them. You have no idea how many we are out here who would give sooo much to be in your shoes, Alan. I can understand a disappointment over not having the exact career you wanted, but you have a great marriage and kids who love you, plus you help lots of people all over the world with this channel. That is worth so much. So if anyone have reasons to feel like a failure, it's not you ❤
❤❤
The first time I watched this movie, I was going through a period of depression caused by an existential crisis. I kept struggling with how to find a strong enough meaning to hold on to a life that, to me, seemed full of suffering. Watching 22 be so amazed with seemingly insignificant parts of life was incredibly impactful to me, enough to help me out of that depressive episode. Maybe I don't need this big purpose to enjoy life, maybe those small moments are enough.
i feel like its a crime yous never added the scene where Dorothea tells Joe about the fish and the ocean: " I heard this story about a fish. He swims up to this older fish and says, "I'm trying to find this thing they call the ocean." "The ocean?" says the older fish. "That's what you're in right now." "This?" says the young fish. "This is water. What I want is the ocean."
Kinda like if i make it to the nba, and i expect more from what im doing. But since its the nba, ive already made it. So its kinda like a then what moment
that is so true, sometimes we don't realize that the one thing we always wanted was already on our hands.
I actually still don't understand that quote.......Can anyone please explain to me what it means??? 😅
@@klaudinegarcia8932 Well, lets see the ocean as the life you want to have and you are already in it(water), but your perspective restricts you into thinking you have to reach that life(ocean). And if you are already in the Water, you are surrounded by the things you want already, but you arent fulfilled with it cause water isnt the goal you wanted to reach. You want to reach the ocean, even though the water surrounding you is in essence the same thing as what you are searching for. If u dont understand my explanation, just blame it on my bad english ;)
@@klaudinegarcia8932 basically when you look to something youve been working for your whole life you expect it to be this amazing wonderful thing thats going to instantly change your world but when you get there you realize its not what you expect, still good just not amazing.. the fish can only see water because no matter where he is, sea or river, its still water... the fish is you, the water is life, and the ocean is the goal youre working for. the quote doesnt mean to not have goals but rather dont expect them to be this over hyped unrealistic thing or you will just disappoint yourself
"Thank you for crying with me." He says as tears are already falling down my cheeks. #CryingwithAlan
we love him #cryingwithalan
Same
ya same lol
Everything Alan said about love and support of parents to be "as excited as me to be doing the things I love the same way I'm excited for them" and "I need love and support in my purpose even if I got my purpose a bit wrong" is everything. I feel it 💯%
i cried so much during this video, my cat woke up from her nap and sat on my lap to soothe me :'(
my dog does this as well, pets really know when we're sad
"the meaning of life is to give life meaning" - Epica
OOh! I like that! I’m stealing it!
omg I also figured out myself the same thing!!
That quote is fire
I didn’t know how affected I was by the “men don’t cry” thing that’s constantly pushed until I found this channel with Alan and was able to see, “hey; there’s a real mans man who can cry all he wants!”
I never really cared about that. I cry quite alot
HEY SORRY I HAD TO POINT OUT THE KIIBO PROFILE PICTURE!!!
But back on topic: I was also very affected by it, and oh man is it comforting to see a man okay with crying over a movie. It might be obvious by the Kaito profile picture that I relate a lot to Kaito, including his toxic masculinity. However, I've been working on it, and people like Alan are super important in helping get over the whole "men don't cry" mentality. It's really nice to see, right?
@@oliver1616 that mentality was always weird to me. It didn't made all that much sense to me
@@spritemon98 Same here tbh. It's really stupid when you actually think about it. But it's what everyone knows and is taught, and as impressionable kids who trust what adults tell them, it's easy to listen anyways. At least that's how I see it!
It's really freeing. I recently got out of a marriage where I felt I had to man up all the time and not be vulnerable. The girl I'm seeing now couldn't be more different. I've probably cried more in the last year and a half with her than in 12 years with my ex. It's freeing and therapeutic and she's not judging me for it.
20:35 this is so true. this entire channel is so healing for me as a 21 yo woman who is trying to comfortable with feeling and has experienced the same rejection from my parents about my dreams 🤍 passion vs talent; interesting idea. thank you for being raw and thank you both for this channel ❤️🩹
The humanity of these two is reason enough to watch these videos even before the therapy is accounted for.
sitting here, extremely suicidal, crying about this episode, I was scared to watch this video, mostly because I was trying to end it all, and I was afraid I’d be just stalling and making people disappointed, but seeing mr. Alan share his story and cry, it truly did just stop me and make me say “maybe I could stay here one more day”
Thank you Alan
Thank you for sharing, Aishath. The world needs you, one more day, and the day after that. Every day you can get, we need you.
Alan
thank you Alan
❤️
Please stay. Just think of one tiny good thing that you have been part of everyday and know that you have been important in more lives than you could possibly know.
X
i cant tell you how much i relate to this comment. im also glad i watched this as it helped me learn about everything i can appreciate in life and how it can be worth living. stay strong!!
I identified with 22. I have disabilities and im never good enough for many many things in my life and when 22 said " I'm really good at walking" i felt that. And this movie was important to me that even if I'm not good enough for jobs/school ect, I'm still good enough to live.
Agreed
Me too. I have mental health problems, so sometimes doing basic stuff is almost impossible. People tell me to "at least make an effort" when even getting out of bed is a lot.
Ok just wanted to let you know you did it, you made me cry
I really agree! I have disibilit(ies) too and I really get this! I am good at making people laugh, and encouraging and praising people. I want to be a teacher, but I’m definitely not the best. Most importantly I want to glorify God and share him with others!
Not just good enough. The movie is telling us we can thrive at life, we don't need a socially approved "purpose" or "spark" to thrive while we're here. 😊
I remember I first watched this during a time when I was really down and my mental health wasn't in the best place. This movie helped me so much, and I watched it on repeat. Its such a beautiful movie and it made my life way better.
Im glad you two acknowledge your importance in a lot of peoples lives . It was a pure stroke of luck and maybe coincidence that I stumbled on one of your videos one day. Since that day I’ve learned, laughed And cried a lot . You could say your channel is one of the things that’s beautiful about living it’s part of my experience of life and I’m grateful for people like you !
I feel the same
Overlooked one major part of the movie of when the little girl who plays the trombone comes to quit playing and fully just talks herself out of it, is such a beautiful part of the movie
Yeah I was waiting for that
"We're all sacks of meat. But you are finely spiced like a nice sausage." I need that sewed on a pillow
It’d be a lovely pickup line 😆
I'm waiting for the merch right now
I gonna do it. I'm going to cross-stitch it.
@@zrc1514 Send me one once you do
@@zrc1514 Same
The coolest thing about Soul is that I resonated so strongly with it and cried quite a bit the first time I watched it. I’m an artist and I’m moving in just a few days for grad school. I make work all about mundane memories and how mundane memories are often overlooked but they truly shape who we are. I struggled with my physical and mental health in many ways (still do) and my art being my passion has truly saved my life, and the little moments that ground me are those mundane times. I can’t say enough about this film. I struggled growing up being asked if I had a plan and knew what I wanted to do. It was part of my depression - feeling like I wasn’t enough and had no goals - mind you I was in middle school+. I couldn’t handle that. I finally realized going into college that I didn’t need to have a plan and know what I wanted to do, as long as I was happy then I was okay. I had “family” shit talk my art degree to my face because he was the one since I was a kid telling me I need a plan and to make money. And now I’m here, focusing on my mental health, taking meds, and going to grad school for my art. I’m terrified but excited. I didn’t think I’d make it to 18, and now I’m 24. This movie is everything to me.
Alan, I know this is an older video but I have been binge watching you guys for weeks and it has been more helpful than you know. I am in a wheelchair and have always felt like I can never find a purpose or find true happiness. Through your videos I have been inspired to actually start therapy and had my first session last week. That was all possible in part due to your content. You do make a difference even when you don’t see it. Thank you
I am tearing up reading this! Thank you so much for sharing. Best of luck with therapy. -alan
🫂
Watching John, the filmmaker crying is the exact opposite of toxic masculinity. It is so comforting and heeling
It's my weakness, a man starts crying and I cry myself out... ❤️
Did you really have to make it about toxic masculinity, guys can cry about things in movies more often than you think
@@genericname3206 The whole idea of toxic masculinity includes not showing emotions and staying strong no matter the consequences, so I'm not sure what your point is.
It definitely goes against toxic masculinity to see a man own his feelings and cry in front of an audience, so she didn't MAKE it about toxic masculinity, because it was already about it. She just used appropriate words to describe what happened.
His name is Alan and it's spelled "healing." But samesies! This channel is the best! It restores my faith in men and humanity.
@@genericname3206 many people have the misconception that the phrase toxic masculinity is about shaming men.
"When I was 12 years old... "
I need to hug this man.
This broke my heart. I hope every parent heard your message here and navigates that conversation with their own child with more thought and care.
I just found this channel and watched quite a few episodes but I didn't expect to be so deeply touched by an episode. I don't really know how to describe what I have just experienced personally but thank you. Thank you so much for what you do (I cried from start to finish) it gives me a lot of courage. I will never forget (ps: you are my Steven Spielberg be sure of it)
I am late to this party (no clue who will even read this)... but the second the mom says she's always been proud, I immediately started crying thinking of Alan and his mom. My mom was quite unkind at times; she has also passed. Listening to Jono and Alan talk about their moms gets me every time. Listening to you yell at people make poor choices in bad romances is what intrigued and hooked me with your channel. I've yelled when you've yelled, cried when you've cried, and legitimately learned from your therapeutic and cinematic wisdom. I just got into your channel a couple months ago, but I am fairly obsessed and binge watch and rewatch your work. LOVE all you share. Thank you for the amazing work you all do.
On one of the last videos I commented, how I was raised to be "special" and "gifted" and how much pressure that was. Here is more about the "hello this is me" Story:
For my mom I was gifted, perfect, creative and ... well - I failed at everything. I got very sick at 15. I couldn't go to school, and I couldn't learn. So I was a bad student, sick and totally depressed. I was so afraid of school, because I wasn't the genius my mother told me. I was bullied, beaten up, called stupid from the other students and told I was failure from my teachers.
Then I gave up, gave up all my dreams, my books, my art, my hope, my work, all I loved to do - I wasn't good enough. And I felt free for the first time in my life. I healed a little bit.
But I never trusted me enough to start something new, I even took a break from drawing. I was only able to stay awake. I was functioning, not living. After total breakdown I realised, I ask my self a question: What do I want?
I want to fail.
I want to fail, be allowed to fail and it is OK.
And I answered to myself: Then do it. You are on the ground, how can it be worse?
I now do what ever I want, I learn at my speed, I write my books, draw my comics, work and... fail. I fail as much as I want. Again and again. I grow from it, learn from it, I laugh about it and I am also now an author and people buy my stuff. So in the end, my dream came true. Because I accepted to fail.
Sorry for my bad school English, I am German. :'D
Haha, as American your English is fine, you are genius but the trick is to find your talent, find your own adventure, find your dreams and for your failures, use them as lessons to help you as you grow, then someday you will look back at your life, you smile brightly, knowing that life did give you something that you never thought about.
Also I probably not good at advices but I know I do bright someone day.
Failing at something equal's growth, and a learning experience. So good luck at failing into something wonderful.
I can really relate to what you mean, Honeyball. I think I had a similar experience to yours but how I got there was different, I was quite the problem child, throughout primary school, even in kindergarten I was truly a bad person, I only knew how to deal with my anger, sadness and all of the negative emotions through violence and anger, whenever I got upset I would hurt people, I hurt a lot of people. But when I turned around 11-12 years of age, something changed, It's like I could finally feel empathetic to all of the people I ended up hurting, and boy did feel the weight of my actions, it's like I didn't even understand the things I did was wrong, I never cared or felt anything until I hit around 11 to 12 years old. I cried, I felt horrible, I felt like the worst person on earth, and then I became a shell of a person, like you, I was functioning not living
All I did every single day was wake up, go to school, come home, then sleep, I would wake up when mum made dinner then just go to sleep again because I didn't want to be awake, I didn't want to think, and if I didn't sleep I would be just mindlessly watching youtube videos, but honestly, I might as well have not been watching them at all because I was basically not thinking. But then something happened, my sister who's about 10 years older than me moved pretty close to where me and my mum lived, and I went there and visited her and her partner, and while I was there I felt something I hadn't in a while, I felt happy. And that small glimpse of truly feeling happy made something click within me, I had to live, to live, I had to live this life that I had, I can't be emotionless and depressed anymore, I can't live like this. It was almost like an epiphany of sorts. like waking up from a nightmare I've been living in for the last couple of years.
So I decided to change, It's truly hard to explain and even harder I'm sure to replicate. But it's like I completely changed as a person, and to be completely honest when I look back at my memories of myself I don't see it as myself anymore. I decided to live my life, and to be happy, we only have a relatively short time on this earth, and I refuse to let myself waste that life. we will fail, we will be sad, these things are normal, but we can't let those things consume us and take over our lives.
My "Inception" moment when one of your most fav artists on youtube comments on a video of one of your most fav movie channels... That just filled my heart with joy ♥
This is beautiful.
This episode really hit me hard. I wanted to be and author and illustrator when I was a kid. I would make up stories and draw my own pictures for them. My father used to search through my things and tear up all my drawings and stories in front of me and would tell me that there's no future in it. I've finally gotten around to completing my first novel as an adult, and I haven't made any attempt to put it out there because of extreme self-doubt that's lingering.
Your father was wrong to do that. I hope you have honest & supportive friends who can help you.
put that novel out there! for sure, don't let that voice of pain stop you, because your voice matters!
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. But please, go ahead and publish it once you've finished writing it. Whatever happens, happens. When you put your heart into your work, it shows! All the best!
I can relate to this. Parents who tear down their kid's self esteem and dreams don't realize how it'll negatively affect them in adulthood. My mother tore me down constantly, while also supporting me in other aspects. I was a very confused, withdrawn child. There are a ton of things I'm passionate about and wanna do, but I'm absolutely terrified of failure and intense criticism, because it was drilled in my head at a young age. I'm 39 now and it feels like a lot of time has been wasted wallowing in fear. And I wanna change that, but it's hard.
I believe in you, hun. Whether or not your novel is successful, what matters is you tried. You put yourself out there and accomplished something you've always wanted to do. Experiencing life means you'll encounter negativity along the way. How we react to those moments is important. It shapes how we'll react in future encounters.
So publish that novel and be proud that you did. Breathe a sigh of relief and treat yourself to a nice reward, because you deserve it. ❤️
well i hope you have put your work out there already by now 💓
One or the best thing about having experienced depression early on in my life (no, no, you read right, depression sucks but you can get good lessons from it) is understanding how valuable small things are. When it rains I run to the closest window to watch, when I feel love for my friends and family I tell them, when I eat good food I'm grateful I was born... I'm so glad to be here experiencing life and every small thing in it. I don't have a dream job, or a clear purpose in this life but I'm glad I'm here and I'm glad I exist and I just hope to leave a good impact no matter how small.
I love how open these guys are. They are not afraid to show their emotions and it actually really helps me. I am going through a lot at the moment and really need therapy but unfortunately I cannot afford it. Watching this channel is great because it combines my love of movies with things that the guys say that actually help me cope. In a weird way by watching this channel I feel like I am getting some sort of therapy out of it. For one I know I'm not the only one that feels completely inadequate every day of their life. I am a preschool teacher and I had huge dreams of joining the Peace Corps and traveling around the world to teach young under privilege children. However when I was 21 and already had my teaching degree I got incredibly ill with crohn's disease and had to have major surgery. Crohn's disease is a disorder that affects your stomach but it is also an autoimmune disorder. When the doctor told me I can never travel to countries where the peace core would be going such as 3rd world countries because I cannot get live vaccinations I cried and cried for days because that was my dream all throughout high school. Now I worke for very little money for the amount of work I have to do at a job that I really don't like because it was not my goal to be a preschool teacher it was my goal to travel and yes teach. Now I worked for very little money for the amount of work I have to do at a job that I really don't like because it is in the town I grew up in.
I’m sorry that you have to go through this! Whenever I start feeling down or sad thinking about what I’m gonna do with the rest of my life, I’ve found that the best option for me is to go outside. I lay down in the grass and cloud watch. I close my eyes and feel the breeze on my skin and it’s like my worries melt away.
Although I have so many worries, it sometimes does help for me to slow down and just take in life around me. I’ve always enjoyed the little things that life gives me, and I can’t wait until you’ll be able to enjoy them too! I totally believe that you will find another path that gives you enjoyment and peace of mind!
Sometimes I’m annoyed there isn’t a “Love” button on CZcams. Today I’m appalled there isn’t a “Throw Bouquets of Roses and Do A Standing Ovation Through Tears” button.
Now I demand it,
Now CZcams
N O W
YES
YES
o I felt this
As someone who actively needs therapy but can't afford it, who also struggles with being vulnerable in the first place, this channel has quickly grown to be very important to me. I really appreciate you guys making a genuine, non-judgmental space on the internet for the feels in such a short amount of time.
I don't know if its helpful but self theraphy may help slightly. I also can't afford theraphy either but smart recovery offers exercises that can help get someone become more aware of their thoughts
The most important thing the film tries to tell us: there is actually no other purpose to life than life itself .. with each and every moment. Living in the present and realising that each of those moments hold so much purpose. And the spark being a way of getting so close to this awareness or presence through something you do with so much passion that you almost don’t realise. Aka being in the flow. You’ll mostly feel it. It’s a feeling of content which is so nicely portrayed at the end of the film. Being present of life means living your true purpose means being content. 🌿
I sure can relate to the movie but I honestly appreciate how honest Alan is in this video, this movie takes out Something so hung over and it exposes the fear of an insecurities one has of themselves and seeing Alan react to this movie is moving ❤
"If you're not in the United States, our deepest apologies, we love you and go get yourself something nice" sent me lol
i didn't get this joke?
To all of americans: be grateful u don't live in iran :) bc i am living rn and it's just like a small blueprint of hell ;)))))
???
@@guokfdukknbgjk9416 means theyre sorry u cant get that popcorn
@@imoneroundapplepie3229 so sorry you are living through that taliban/ Kabul war right now, will be sure to pray for the safety of you and your family 🙏🏻
I went to film school. I lived in L.A. I didn't make it. I failed. I fell into depression and now, years later work as a Peer Specialist, supporting folks experiencing depression, anxiety and so forth. I recommend these videos to the peers I support. I talk about it with them. You're doing something good and useful.
Seriously.. this is one of the best things I've read. 🙏🏼 We go through hard times for many reasons, and we don't always see the bigger picture until later down the road. I'm really happy that you could be helped and that you're helping others. We need each other, folks.
I remember when I first started having these fears. I was in middle school, 12 maybe 13 and way to young to even think of stuff like this, in an awful living situation and just desperate to find a safe place for myself in the world. And now I’m 25 almost 26 and while I still have these feelings, both Joes and 22s feelings, I’m better equipped to figure it all out… eventually. Hopefully.
this video and film hit me so hard. as someone who's experienced depression quite bad in my life, it's sometimes super hard to find a purpose, but as you've said in this video and as they said in the film, you don't really need a "purpose" per se, you just need to want to experience life. when i was about 10 or 11 and had seen the last harry potter film come out, i knew that i wanted to go into acting. i don't know what exactly it was at that age that appealed to me about it, but even now it's all i want to do with my life. it's why i'm going to university, it's why i want to push myself to do better (as well as for the people i love and for myself generally). just thank you guys for making great videos that talk about stuff like this. and alan, it's not that we don't need another spielberg, we need YOUR movies. i don't know if anyone will ever be able to exactly replicate what he's done with his movies, but your movies will be unique to you and your experience and the stories that you want to tell. remember that. every voice is worth hearing.
Can we just... appreciate how open and honest Alan is in these videos? Like, he's showing a deep wound on camera for (currently) 333K people and he is doing it so bravely too.
I really appreciate how you share your vulnerability, Alan. I find it oddly comforting. (And I also lay awake at night wondering about my purpose.)
I read this as kkk 3 people
Everyone can show physical strength, but you need to be a lot braver to show vulnerability
I keep saying this show's subtitle should be "Crying With Alan". Jokingly, but also kind of not.
As an author, this Channel is where I come when I need to learn about different types of relationships. You really help me write healthy (and not so healthy) relationships and much more. I’ve truly learned so much, thank you for this channel.
That's fantastic! You're very welcome. Good luck with your writing!
Where can I read a book with the author name chicken wing.
Me too!
Same here, it’s one of the best channels to learn from!
@@goose1194 lol believe it or not but that is not my author name
This is a beautiful episode for other aspiring artists who feel like they are failures ...it's nice to know that most of the time it's all in our heads. What matters most is the joy we get out of our lives. We will figure it out one way or another and hopefully we all have the chance to do what we love and not be afraid
this content is so raw and real, and both of u should be so proud to provide it on this platform. alan u are a part of making something that touches people emotionally in ways steven spielberg can’t!
when i was a senior in high school i was talking with my three closest friends about the future & when i told them i was going to be a musician they spent the next HOUR bombarding me with reasons to quit & telling me i was going to fail. growing up i had teachers, other classmates laugh in my face too when i told them my dreams. it wasn't until i was in college that my songwriting professor (the first one who'd actually HEARD my songs) told me i was great, and today i'm recording my first album with a Grammy-award winning producer. i didn't look for him either, HE found ME & decided to be my mentor. if people haven't even seen what you can do, don't let them talk you out pursuing your goals !!!
Sometimes you just need the right person to discover your talents, like how Dorothea discovered Joe
That's so cool!
@@Tanzong830 Exactly. I think that’s happening with me. I look up to this person who’s taken the time to appreciate my art, but that makes me incredibly scared. He is so talented and insightful, that it makes me feel like I will screw up my chance somehow. This past year had me going in circles on what to do to maintain my creativity without being miserable again. I want to live and take a chance without critiquing myself so hard. I already have potential, and that is the most important part of starting one’s journey. This is why “Soul” made me cry.
@@Probablylani been there ! something counterintuitive that helps me keep insecurity at bay is to put my work next to somebody else's. i'll make a playlist of songs & throw some of mine in the middle.. it breaks down the pedestals i have for other artists by reminding me we're all coming from the same place. maintaining a distance between your heroes & yourself keeps you from remembering they've made just as many mistakes on their own artistic journey. embrace comparison but from the perspective of appreciating where you fit into the artistic community because you're the person best suited to express your truth
Congratulations!!! It's incredible that you've come so far with your music! I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
Since 3yo I wanted to work with animals. I wanted to be an “ist”... a biologist, zoologist, palaeontologist... I didn’t know. But, in the caring mum way, mum told me that “there’s no money in animals and it’s a thankless job”.
I was pushed to go into education. I have my diploma of children’s services... I was pushed further. I did 3/4 years of my Bach of Edu and had a mental breakdown. I went deeper into the depression I was already in. I felt like I was trying to live the life my mum had wanted.
I wish I hadn’t listened. I wish I had become what I wanted to be.
BUT being an early years educator, I can catch the children young. I KNOW I am making a difference to the way the children see the world. I teach them about the environment and animals and dinosaurs and plants. I see the wonder in their eyes. The children ask me “how come I know everything”. I just tell them “because I love to learn”.
THAT is my Spark. My Ikigai... Learning... and then TEACHING that knowledge to others.
I still mourn the life I wanted when I was 3yo... but, I know if I died tomorrow I would have made some difference in the lives of the children I teach.
Wow that’s good that you caught that!!! A good way to bring both things together and get you can make it into something bigger!!!
Never too late. You can do it!
I had the same kind of dream... wanting to be an "ist" but at 36 I'm still struggling to get somewhere, and I'm in a field I NEVER thought I'd ever go into. Nursing. I'm not quite done yet, but I've already had several teachers tell me how good I am at it, so hopefully, I can make a difference.
Well that’s the most wholesome thing I’ll read all week.
thank you...that's all :)
4:25 John coaxing Alan back to reality oh there goes gravity- I love the editting in that part.
I work as a Walmart greeter and it makes me so happy cause I love seeing people. I've had people tell me that coming into the store and seeing me makes their day better. That's what makes me happy.
I saw Soul as a love letter to millennials. Those of us, who were born in that brief period of euphoric victory between the end of the Cold War and 9/11, only spend our youth in a financial crisis, have our early adulthood in a time extreme political turmoil and finally have the rug pulled from under the feet of our early careers by a global pandemic. To me, Soul was Pixar's ultimate love letter to us.
So true! Thank you for this.
I totally agree. I felt more for 22 then I did for joe
Nah, thats just your millennial narccism.
@@Benjumanjo Judging people in the comments of a therapeutic YT channel.
Your life must be so sad I almost wish you're just trolling, instead of just being a moron.
Gonna give credit to this man. Crying publically and NOT coming up with shit like "I'm a man I don't cry". You are beautiful and if I ever see any of you, I'm baking brownies. enjoy
I struggle with dissociative symptoms and I’m still often somewhat numb to things. Listening to you guys breakdown and react to movies really helps tune me in. Not because of what you’re saying but because I can feel how much you’re feeling. And then I’m feeling too. So yes, what Jon said, thank you for modelling that for me. You guys are healers indeed.
sometimes fear of not being good stops us from even trying and practicing a thing! we deny ourselves the chance of learning by not allowing ourselves to do it however it works for us rn. even later on when we practiced that thing a little it can become something that stops us from going on. "i should be better rn" - no, even if you have some practice even if you are a master at it, the worst reason to do something is in order to be good at it. just have fun, being good will come!