Once somebody told me that I was “always smiling” and I got in such a panic like “ omg what now, I can’t get out of it with a smile” I literally felt like crying and just alwardly said something like “Idk I really like to smile”
Ooh..I did the same thing once..same answer ( buddy the elf from the movie elf said it... so I used it ) Yep: 😃 smiling , it's my favorite ! not really😢
Honestly, just like... *shrug*" It feels weird because people will attach judgements to random innocuous statements and observations like that a lot, but that doesn't mean you have to give a damn about whatever they're trying to hand you.
I already have a diagnosis but this was still surprising to me. Nearly all of these questions had me going: "Wait what!? Is that like... not a normal thing people do? How else do you learn to talk to people?" Like legit I thought this was how everyone else was doing it.
2 weeks ago today I was hanging out with a life long best friend and I went on a rant about how I was sick of all the games. If I had only 1 wish it would be that everyone just said what the hell they wanted because I am exhausted. All the bullshit small talk I have to suffer through just for someone to be able to ask me for a favor. I'll be standing there for 10-15 minutes like when the hell will this end. I know what you want. You know what you want. Just ask me so I can do it and be on my damn way already. I am so tired. Is this just me?
@@treadhead44 Why don't you just interrupt them and tell them to get to the point? You already know they want a favour from you so tell them you already know that's what they're getting too? If they are such good friends of yours to ask a favour you should be able to speak honestly to them instead of the nonsense time wasting you are complaining about here.
When I get asked how I am, I always blurt out "good" really quickly despite how I feel because I panic and I'm supposed to answer relatively quickly but I end up saying it so quickly that it's not normal. And I always forget to say "how are you?" back to them and then I avoid eye contact because things got awkward and the awkwardness hurts and I don't want to be perceived 😂
I'm actually training myself to also just say "good" too haha. Often people ask 'how are you', and then somehow my brains goes into hyper thinking mode and I try to process how I feel, but I have no idea. So I just scrap together a weird sentence like: "Uhhhh yeah, I thiiiiink, maybe, welllllll, but this, and, yesssss no quite good and yeah it's okay" OR! If I feel really shitty I just can't lie and say I'm good. Someone being polite: "how are you?" Me: "GIVES A LONG ESSAY HOW I'M FEELING AND WHY" - and while I'm giving my speech I notice they were just being polite and kinda want to move on and I'm so clueless how to wrap up a conversation so I'm just a big blob of awkwardness. :D
I always get unreasonably angry internally when I'm asked "how are you", because I know it's completely insincere and they don't actually want to know. Same with "what's up", "how's your day going", etc etc [insert ice breaker small talk here]. I started just replying with "well, I'm here" or "okay", or "it's going", but later got better at responding with as short an answer as I could that was actually honest, committing to the exchange and asking them with genuine interest how they are (because now it's a challenge to get them to actually respond with a real answer). I kinda made it a game to force small talk into actual engagement, which helped with a bit of my awkwardness because now everyone was forced out of their comfort zone. 😂
I've quite often respond with script to different question. So "How are you?" and I say "Thank you". Realizing my mistake I exit the stage as quickly as possible. This happens a lot to me.
@@chrismaxwell1624 Same! Or saying "You too!" to something that doesn't apply and then try to hope they didn't hear you and walk away as fast as possible... hahah
On eye contact. I have ADHD and I avoid eye contact because people's facial expressions are a MAJOR distraction. If I allow myself to fall into that rabbit hole what usually happens is we'll reach a point where i'm asked something and I realise I havn 't been listening so have ZERO context with which to answer appropriately! Awkward....to say the least. My solution? Avoid eye contact so I can actually listen to what's being said. Facial expressions are f'ing fascinating though.
I’m autistic and don’t make eye contact because most of the time I see the words in my mind and so have to look at a clear(ish) space like a wall or the middle distance so I can read the words with my internal voice. It’s very normal for me.
I also have adhd and I find literally anything distracting while I’m trying to speak. Like some people have mentioned above, I get distracted by trying to maintain eye contact if that makes sense. Like I see their eyes and Ike like “oh okay keep looking at them” and then I completely lose my thought altogether because I had to think about looking at them… And like I said, anything is distracting. So I have to look away and try to like….visualize my thoughts so I can read them, almost. So I’m really just looking away so I can read my thoughts coherently and not get distracted. Not sure if that makes sense, but I definitely relate!!
I'm diagnosed as autistic and I score incredibly high on every single autistic test there is...except this one. The reason for that is quite simple, I just don't care enough about social interaction to bother with masking. The only part I scored a little higher on was assimilation, and that's because I got bullied as a teenager and have learnt not to stand out to avoid trouble. My compensation and masking score were incredibly low, even lower than would be average for a neurotypical person. My point is: don't rely on a single test to figure out if you're autistic, everyone is different and it there is a reason why so many test exist.
Yeah I think either we dont care much or these questions are no longer relevant, like we dont need the coping strategies because the lessons have become internalised maybe
I would have scored higher 5 years ago than I do today, except that 5 years ago I was in denial about a lot of it so I probably would have skewed my answers lol. These tests definitely arent the be all end all.
My tests were similar. All the other tests showed a high likelihood of being autistic except for this one where my compensation and masking are significantly lower than nt and nd, but my assimilation is roughly equal to an autistic person's level.
I remember crying to my mom when i was 16 or 17 that I was too scared to "be myself" in school. I felt like every time I talked, people could tell I was different, it was something i learned as young as age 5. I felt that I had to be quiet and complacent in order to not be "too much". I relied on my twin sister as my security blanket when I was in school, going to school without her made me feel so scared.
I mean, honestly most of us are not covering it up very well and everyone DOES know lol. They might not guess autism, they just think we’re awkward weirdos or standoffish or whatever. It’s sad to think the thing I put a ton of energy into still doesn’t really make me appear typical
I’ve been described as “intense!” by some people, including a (mis)manager at a past job that had a personality of cult insanity that claimed they embraced diversity, but didn’t realize they had it in me right in front of them (I didn’t mention my nature, I let them use their own bad judgment, as honestly, I don’t believe informing them would have helped, and would have made me an even juicier target of their abuse) and the day I was fired was (perversely enough) one of the best days. How, you might ask? In the “exit interview” I did need to know how they’d handle questions from possible future employers. I asked if they’d give references. She was so mad at me to start with (frankly, she set me up to fail via absurd requirements) it was fun watching her trying not to explode in front of her boss.
I always think of this! Maybe my efforts are useless and practically unnecessary if people already perceive me as a 'human alien'. Unmasking is hard and sometimes hurtful.
Old-school masker here. I used to emulate the mannerisms and speaking patterns of friends when I was younger. It's only recently (I'm well into middle age) that I've developed an "act" that is completely my own, that I put on at work or wherever. It takes effort to sustain for long periods, so once I'm home, the mask is off, much to my wife's chagrin. The mask is essentially a more muted version of myself - no exhaggerated movements, reserved, soft measured speaking tone in the working-class Southern Californian accent that I grew up hearing, steady eye contact, nodding in all the right places.
RE: Scripting conversations...I found socializing with new people extremely difficult...until I started playing Sims 3. Then I mastered the "make friends" patter for your individual Sims. And I realized I could apply the same patterns to human interactions. And, now well...yes. Yes my speech is scripted, with new people at least!
In a similar way, whenever I "successfully" make small talk or have basic interactions with people, especially strangers, I always picture a little Sims "positive reaction" symbol afterwards 😂 (And same if there's a bad interaction, but with the minus symbol haha)
I thought I just had social anxiety. But the more I listen to you brave young women talking about this sh*t, I am like…. Hang on. I’ve been masking for 39 years?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god.
Over 50 years of masking for me. FFS! Trying now to learn how and when to let it down. I work in customer service so I have to wear it at work but am trying to be more authentic outside of that. I’m going to a 3 day event soon where I’ll see some people who haven’t seen me in 3 years and most of them know about my recently self-diagnosed autism so I’m curious to see how this goes.
I recently started the process of being assessed for autism after taking some tests on Embrace Autism. On the CAT-Q I scored 150. I'm not diagnosed yet, but the more tests I've taken and the more experiences I've listened to from people with autism the more a lot of things that I've struggled with in my life began to click into place. Now I'm a bit nervous that I won't be diagnosed, because it feels like my life has been a puzzle with a bunch of missing pieces, and the possibility that I'm autistic feels like I've found the missing pieces.
With the right Dr, they’ll be able to see past your mask. My psychiatrist was actually confused that I *hadn’t* already been diagnosed because she said it was super obvious… and I thought I was “perfectly peopling” 💀 I was being perfectly honest with her in other ways, because therapy doesn’t work unless you want it to and are honest with your therapist, but I thought I was flawlessly hitting all the right social cues and I super wasn’t 🤣 A Dr who is familiar with the autism spectrum, especially with BIPOC and women, will be able to spot an autistic person from across the room. Additionally, autism is based on internal reactions and how things make you feel, so if you’re strongly suspecting autism, you’re almost definitely right. Especially with you saying you’ve basically made autism your special interest 🤣 You’ll be alright.
Scripting: I just spent 2 hours meticulously writing an email to ask for a quote (ugg, adulting) just to get a response "I'll just call you and we'll chat". NOOOOOO!!!
So... I got total 134, compensation 52, masking 44, assimilation 38. That means I got an A with bonus points right? Joking aside, I was diagnosed ADHD @ 23, and just last year saw a psychologist and got diagnosed ASD and confirmed ADHD. I thank you for the content!
I got 35 total - compensation 14, masking 9, assimilation 12. But I'm diagnosed with autism. I don't get it. I don't mask at all and I'm pretty good at social interactions if I make the effort. Maybe I just have ADHD.
@@AutomaticDuck300 That's cool. I actually started masking very young. By middle school / Jr High I started masking my autistic traits with my adhd traits because it was more socially acceptable to be goofy than just quiet. Of course, I didn't know I was either of the two, so I just thought of it as developing a more class clown type of persona. I always knew I masked, because it was always intentional, though I didn't know it was called masking. I thought of it as method acting a tailored version of myself that only stick out as different in the ways that I felt were acceptable. I mask at a depth that is more like females on the spectrum, but being male, I don't have the advantage of the extra social circuitry in the brain so it is not as good as what females can do.
@@theghcu hmm interesting. I can’t tell you my childhood experience because I don’t remember a lot before the age of 12 or 13. But I’m the opposite of you. I always felt more female than male. According to the OCEAN personality test and interpretations, I am more stereotypically female than male in terms of temperament. Maybe that’s why I’m pretty good socially. Who knows?
Oh the whistling!! It goes right up my spine, and I have a coworker who whistles all the time. I have considered checking the employee handbook to see if murder is a fireable offense, or would only get me a suspension, which tbh might be nice, as I am feeling burned out just now.
According to Embrace Autism, CAT-Q scores can be higher for neurotypical people who have reduced well-being and social anxiety. If you have any concerns about your mental health, please see a medical professional, such as your GP. If you like this, you may like my previous video about what masking feels like from the inside: czcams.com/video/H4vcMWB7fuQ/video.html Or this is a fun one reacting to autism memes that my husband chose (I tried not to be offended): czcams.com/video/Pzj0IUyPha4/video.html Thank you so much for watching! 🥰
I took the cat-q and wow! I'm a guy and I scored a total of 141. I thought that I wasn't very high masking. But I had an epiphany while taking the test. So often I'll have a reaction to something, a strong emotion that makes me uncomfortable, like self conscious, so I will actually suppress the emotion or even be agitated by the stimulus giving me the emotion. I never realized that is masking but now I'm sure of it. I mask, not just by changing my behavior, but also by changing or compartmentalizing my emotions.
I'm a guy and scored 147, and I do that as well. I am feeling very little emotions in day to day life and if I do feel one, it's usually very intense. I thought for some time now that I might be suppressing my own emotions, and have no idea how to undo this. Makes sense that this might be me masking my feelings because they're not 'normal', numbing them in the process.
I wasn't exactly aware I was scripting for a very long time lol but I recently noticed my internal feelings during small talk, like when I'm at a hair appointment. I must have, over time, learned that they will ask the same things: "Are you in school?", "What do you do for work?", "Where are you from?", "Do you have any pets?" And I've noticed that I have a stock of things I'll tell people during small talk. I've learned the "appropriate" things to say... Which unfortunately don't include info-dumping or talking about my special interests. Occasionally I've managed to sneak in a little bit of special interest discussion though if it comes up in conversation (like psychology) When a hairdresser doesn't talk to me at all it REALLY throws me off though lol
Took mine a few weeks ago and scored 152 and yeah... reading the averages and realizing how much significantly higher I scored was pretty eye opening. I think it was the same night that it did truly click for me that I'm autistic. I wrote a poem at 18 about feeling like I had to wear a mask, before I even knew about this concept or term, and finished wondering if everyone else felt like they had to wear a mask too. I thought it might just be something that was normal. I'm 28 now and realizing I'm autistic has made my whole life make soooo much more sense!
It always has made me sad to remember visits with my late mother years ago, arriving at home, and realizing I hadn't made eye contact with her the entire afternoon. It is a comfort hearing you talk about your experience with your own mother, and that it's okay because you two are so close. That is a beautiful explanation.
I also got 147! I never knew what autism really is and the more I look into it the more I think that I am in fact autistic. Although these tests always feel a little bit weird to take. In most questions I can tell what answer will lead to a higher score, so I always think I'm falsifying the test with what I think the answer to a question should be. I read a question and subconsciously think "if I select strongly agree, I get a higher score" so I automatically select something in this region before consciously thinking about it and coming to a real answer. That's probably pretty autistic on its own lol
That's actually kind of a thing for everyone! It's called the observer effect and it can really mess with the data on psychological surveys. The wording is usually designed to minimize this, but people always act a little different when they feel they're being watched. It's why they often tell you to answer fast - your first impulse is usually the least affected!
Got 147 as well, such a funny coincidence. Curiously enough, I got 56 Compensation, 44 Masking, and 47 Assimilation; which is the inverse to what she got in her results, I scored lower on what she scored higher and vice versa. Noticed that having ADHD really helps with scoring high on these Autism related quizzes lmao
Total:158 Compensation:56 Masking:51 Assimilation:51 I've had my suspicions for a while. Never been tested, only diagnosed with deep depression and anxiety disorder. Unfortunately not all doctors go deep and question the reasons. I've been thinking for a long time, that why no medication worked is because they were trying to cure tha symptoms instead of finding out what is really happening.
I was diagnosed with what used to be known as Aspergers syndrome in 1993 (31 Years ago!!) and the earliest footage pre diagnosis is a video from about June of 1990 where I'm on the floor of my great aunt's house sliding the tv guide around in a side to side motion while zoned out (my dad was calling my name but I didn't look up) I was probably stimming with tv guide because at the time I felt a little like I was "on display" for one of dad's home videos.
I did the questionnaire right now before watching the rest of the video, and my overall response was "I don't know?!???" Most of the time. The questions where overwhelming to understand, and my interpretation was not always spot on I felt like. And then when I watch you do the questionnaire and hear your thoughts you also interpret the questions in a different way then I did.. Apart from me feeling like an imposter, it feels like maybe the questions are a little too diffuse and depending on context you answer it differently 😅. So I wouldn't rely on questionnaires to answer anything really.. I have diagnosed ADHD and did some questionnaire, I guess close to this one later in my diagnosis. I think then I didn't answer at all the same way I did this time because I was fixated on having ADHD and not Autism. And also the fact that "I don't know?!??". Questions are hard and overwhelming.. and I think I have both ADHD and ASD.. both run in the family anyway 🎉. But I love this video and the one about masking from the inside! Even if my response is mostly "I don't know 😢 maybe??", Analyzing the little interactions I have with non family I think I am masking alot, and I do get burnt out and overwhelmed every day. But ADHD and ASD are so "cross compatible" for a lack of a better word that I just don't know if I have just adhd or both.. just had to share this..
I remember trying to script conversations ahead of time when I was younger. I gave up fairly quickly because I realized I was not good at predicting the sort of thing the other person might say.
Thank you for this funny and insightful video. It's as if I hear my wife talking 😊 She's on the spectrum as well, and since we know this, it's way easier to understand her peculiarities. For me, her neurodivergence is a big plus. Yes, it has it's disadvantages (I am quite extraverted and social, so my love for parties isnt mutual, to name one). But the great thing is her exquisitely detailed perception, her creativity and - how to say - pureness. She taught me to just say what I want, in stead of implying it. Her enthusiasms are delightful. And in general, as she's so comfortable with me, our relationship is hyper close.
I recently got diagnosed, but still often doubt myself. Like, everyone is selfconcious in social interactions, right? So this was actually really helpful to disprove those doubts. I scored above the average for autistic women in all categories.
Me too! Two years after the diagnosis I'm still reading books, watching these type of videos, and taking extra tests. I downplayed my answers and still scored 150. And yet I keep wondering...
I remember taking an online quiz called RAADS-R and my total score was 150. I had no idea what it meant though (because I didn’t see the “What do my scores mean?” thing so I just assumed that it was a low score and that I’m probably not autistic. I just found the website again and it says my score means “strong evidence for autism”. Wish I realized this back in May when I took the quiz because I really thought I wasn’t autistic. Now I’m doing a lot of research and realizing I probably am.
I have a lot of social anxiety and am strongly introverted, and was sorta wondering if I was autistic. I think this questionnaire puts me on the allistic side, all things considered. The idea of actively studying others' social interactions to build my own script is so foreign to me! I think I just have a case of ADHD and a lil awkward sometimes when I'm not paying attention. Godspeed to y'all though, that sounds exhausting af
ADHD often also includes masking. Just in different ways / areas. I strongly suspect to have both “disorders”, so I mask the hell out of every social interaction 😅
@@Slaaneshy_Concubinereally? Im gonna do some research into this because my mom keeps saying I have autism, she literally WANTS me to have it but I think it’s just ADHD and anxiety. I don’t study facial expressions but as a kid I apparently did autism symptoms
@@10yearsago96 The differentiation is very difficult unfortunately because both disorders share a lot of their symptoms, even if the reasons for those symptoms are different. Stimming and issues to focus on things one isn’t interested in for example are very common in both conditions. Also, masking mechanisms are high in number. Studying facial expressions is not the only way autistic people mask.
I often find myself "channeling" the social energies of certain characters or people in conversation. It bugs me sometimes, especially since it can lead to its own social errors and miscommunications.
With regards to one of the biggest autism signs... When I was growing up, a lot of people told me that I seemed to never or barely look anyone in the eye when talking to them. That kind of shaming, along with the old myth (?) that someone is lying if they aren't looking the questioner in the eyes while responding, made me train/force myself to look people in they eye, which still makes me uncomfortable but I push through it. 😢 Edit: someone mentioned ADHD and being distracted. I also struggled with ADHD for most of my life and people's facial expressions were VERY distracting, hence my eyes drifting away from their face and eyes.
Why can I not be myself in social situations? I am anxious because of the things people have said to me whenever I let my guard down. That I'm too much. Too intense, too passionate, too sensitive, shaming me in front of others. I used to mask well enough and then I got a brain injury and now I can't mask well at all. I always feel exposed. My daughter tells me not to care, but I don't like the way I feel when Im around 99% of the population. I feel safer alone. But I enjoy watching people interact with eachother. I'm trying to be okay without filters, stimming publicly because I really can't hide it now, but I don't like the attention.
I wanna get assessed to stop my brain from saying “you’re not autistic you are just an attention seeker” but my mother says it’s way too expensive for ya’ know just peace of mind.
@@UnnecessaryWords303 it is. I looked into it for myself and as an adult female in the US it is 3 to 5 thousand out of pocket and the diagnosis won’t help me at all to get accommodations for anything. Not in the US, at least.
@@faeriesmak Irene (the Thought Spot) has a video where she goes step by step through how to apply for financial help for an ASD diagnosis. I imagine i will be utilizing that information for myself - I will discuss with my psychologist this Monday so that I may be connected with the right psychiatrist. I hope we can receive what we need from any diagnoses we seek.
I can very much relate to that xD I too suspect that I might be autistic but I am so scared of someone tell me 'no you're just bad at life, just finally get you're sh*t together and stop whining about it.' Wich I kind of heard a lot when I was a child so maybe that's why 😅
@@mableleaf2445 don't worry, those two aren't mutually exclusive Signed: a diagnosed autistic who has been told I'm just not trying hard enough my entire life.
@@fenixmeaney6170 yeah, I was afraid so. But it is a comforting little lie that this imposterfeeling and this comments magically disapears with a Diagnosis 😅 although I know better. I'm sorry that you have been told that too, I can't understand why so many people just don't have one percent empathy in theire Body. It's so frustrating sometimes.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, and OCD. My Cat-Q score was 141, but I'm curious as to whether that is due to my numerous disorders and the fact that ADHD can be similar to autism. I did have a low assimilation score so maybe that shows that its really just my ADHD and other stuff. IDK. but I can say that I am so glad to have found such a relatable and enjoyable community.
@@piiinkDeluxeI actually have OCD though, theres poison in my water at night so I have to blow on it 5 times to fix it. I have to touch everything x amount of times so the evil entities go away. I have to touch x thing to make sure my parents stay alive and healthy. Along with almost every ADHD symptom and no autism ones, my mom keeps trying to say I have autism but I don’t experience any symptoms:/
12:20 I like to call this a need for a 'support human', hah. You just heavily prefer if not need someone there who's more willing and comfortable to socialize for you. For the longest time I've needed my mom to be my support human, but while I'm around my s/o, I realize they need me just as much if not more, so we switch off being each other's support human based on who needs it more that day, without a single question asked as to 'do you need it more than me', we just. Click that well. I finally found someone I understand and who understands me well enough that I don't have to have every single thing verbalized or analyzed to ensure I'm not missing something important that will get me told off, someone who won't be upset even if I do miss a beat, y'know? It's not all there is to the relationship but it really does help a ton to have that, it's a massive thing among many that I'm constantly grateful for ^^
I tried the test and got a 140, but I'm not really surprised by that. I've put in an ungodly amount of work into understanding other people, fitting in, and "succeeding" in social situations since I was 7.
Huh, I got an 80 (rather below average) which is interesting to me since I've recently been wondering if some of my anxiety is linked to autism-spectrum stuff. I'm *pretty sure* what I've been considering 'depression' is more actually 'anxiety', but I wish I had a better idea where/what that anxiety is based in. Excellent videos, btw. Thanks for putting in the effort for random internet people. :)
wow. i really relate to you saying that being around people is always a performance when you have to control how you sit, stand, what expressions you make. also, this video has helped me realize that any time i understand the social norms of a certain situation, it's either from observing other people or through trial and error. in any new social situation, i have to observe other people to get an example of how i can behave.
Overall score: 153 The other things that I forgot what they were: 57 59 45 I won the autism test! Again! I'm starting to suspect I've been autistic all this time and everything is making so much sense! Channels like yours have been so helpful I don't have words. Here I am a 52 yo afab and just now considering the possibility I'm autistic, and lo & behold, I am! At least I know now. I live in a mental health care desert so I have to rely on this kind of thing to get any straight answers, and I know it's not a professional assessment by a long shot but it's better than the absolute nothing I've had for most of my life. Thank you so much for this channel!
Wow this was actually very helpful. I have recently "talked myself out" of being autistic, lol. I had this big revelation two years ago and the language auf autism (masking, burnout etc) helped me navigate my world better. But then I thought "yeah but it doesn't matter if I actually am autistic anyway because I get by fine, it's okay, I am functional". But I have to put so much effort into all of this, jfc. I score 140 in the test. That's even more than the average for autistic females. And I deliberatly answered conservatively. Sigh, I'd really like a formal diagnosis. But I am so scared of not being taken seriously and waiting lists are like 18 months or closed altogether. I am scared if going through all the hassle of diagnosis just to get told "no you just have social anxiety, byeeeee".
Dont be scared to do it. Im going through this right now. If it is anxiety they still would help you to navigate that. Thats what my psychologist said. And then you know whats happening. I would say that it atleast feels better to just know. Ik how bad it feels, like nooo im normal ive just not ”tried hard enough, i make excuses, im lazy”. Its always that critical voice. Hope you get the help that you need and advocate for yourself. Take care☺️
My favorite scripting error I had was going to a restaurant advertising a new sandwich. The thing is normally those interactions go, "Hello welcome to [restaurant], would you like to try [new item]." and I always respond "No I will have the [my usual order]." Well the problem was they asked me if I wanted the new sandwich... and because the answer was yes, my brain shut down and I went silent and the attendant was like, "Excuse me? Do you know what you would like to order?" Which snapped me out of it.
A lot of those things I was like "nah" as you were going along, but then I think about how I am around people I don't know well in person, particularly those who are NT versus fellow NDs (a lot of the people I meet with are also ND because, well, work in tech), and how I react when joining new online communities, and definitely tick a lot more of the boxes there. Also, it's interesting, was chatting with a colleague a few years younger than me and it came up that I talk a lot in the work chat app (Slack) and how she wished she had that confidence. I replied something like how it was easy to do it online where you can lurk and get the vibe of the place before contributing and then when you do you're one voice among dozens or more, so it's much less pressure than in a small group IRL where you can't just disappear by falling silent if you mess up. She was countering that it was easier for her in person than online because you get the body language feedback. I very much prefer the more straightforward emoji react than trying to read people directly, especially being in a place with such a strong emoji reaction culture (which is kinda essential in a chat room with hundreds of people, but our emoji set is large enough to basically hold mini-convos in the reacts 😂). Sorry, that went wildly off topic right there, but I guess the point being that the safety of both the crowd and the ability to observe before joining in and being able to easily disappear is easier for me whereas for her as more likely an NT she likes the in-person feedback, which I find so much less useful
I got a score of 144 on the Cat-Q test. I've researched autism, I have many, many traits. I keep bringing them up in hope my parents researched them. I've stopped masking infront of my parents recently, they're always asking ”why do you ___?” ”why are you ___?”. I say ”I don't know” because if I gave them a true response, or else they won't believe me.
Holy crap! Allistic communication is wild. Taking note means noticing a thing, but taking notes means writing stuff on paper. That S is doing a lot of work.❤
This video helped me so much. A large number of the questions on the quiz would confused me or I would've put a neutral answer on it since most of the time I didn’t have a good understanding of what it could entail. Most of this test was just me thinking, "what do they mean by that," watching the video for an answer, and then returning to the quiz. This video and the quiz has helped me realize more about the stuff that I do in social interactions, especially since I generally get overwhelmed with these types of quizzes and have a hard time remembering what I do because of the panic. Having something to remind me, or at least give me a hint of it really helps, thank you.
I got a 136. I wonder how much of the masking is how I've been doing things differently lately though. Like I've done some introspection and realized that my facial expressions haven't matched what I really feel a lot of the time, so I decided to start smiling more. But it's almost never automatic; I need to think "oh I'm happy or interested it's time to smile."
This is too funny. There was also a big chunk of time in my childhood where my only friend was my cousin, who-wait for it-was also 2 years younger than me.
I got total 143, compensation 38, masking 49, assimilation 56. Welp. I’ve been researching autism for a while and I am still not sure if what I have is just social anxiety or not. I always recognized autistic people in the collectives I’ve been in, I just didn’t know they were autistic. I thought: "Oh, they are like me! Let’s form an alliance so we won’t get bullied!" But since both of us had social skills of a hermit, it didn’t go anywhere. I think I am probably just socially anxious, because if I were autistic, we would probably hit it off.
Total:155😬 57, 51, 47 I have been heavily struggling with imposter syndrome even though I have been researching ASD for over a year now and find new supporting evidence constantly. Seeing the scores of other people such as these comments put my mind at ease but also further the feeling of I must be faking, which I believe stems from people in my life saying I'm too intelligent and functioning, which I know comes from their lack of understanding, but constantly hearing it and having no one to discuss this topic with I find myself struggling to accept and move forward. I'm sorry for this rant, and want to say thank you for these videos💜🌻
I am off by one point on two of your scores and have the same assimilation score as you I see you nothing to be ashamed. I will just try to be clean and honest with others and see how it goes ❤❤ also don’t let people force you too do anything your really uncomfortable with
I’ve been questioning whether or not I may be autistic… these questions made me feel like I need to go to an evaluation because these are scarily accurate
Well, i can remember that for example i was always doing things like being full blown aware of my posture and mannerism while riding the bus, alone, when i was a teenager. When i went to school i had to take the bus and i was always "busy" doing this. I am 44 now and started to suspect myself to be autistic two years ago. So, much of the stuff i used to do got better, because i was apparently getting better at masking. It became a second nature. The eye-contact question really hit home as i do not really do that often without conscious effort. I am beyond feeling uncomfortable doing it, but it is something i have to remind myself of doing even today. So yeah, the high scores i have correlate with deppression, which is true for me. Nice double whammy there. Anyway, great video, thanks for digging up this test to give me some mroe confidence in what is going on with me.
I found people love to talk about what they are interested in and it's easier for me that way, and I learn something new generally. And then hopefully they feel listened to and understood ... it brings harmony to the interaction. If they hold opinions that do not resonate with me, I won't challenge or try to share my differences. It will just reduce how often I interact with them, from listening to them realising we haven't got much in common. As I've got older, I come to value my time and where I spend it . After a lot of soul-searching, I'm living a life now with greatly reduced anxiety , and when I get triggered, I tell myself it will pass become more effective at self-soothing. its taken many yrs to learn how to unwind and not walk round with replays in my head /or projecting future scenarios in my mind on reply. I very fortunate my home environment is a place of comfort, I gave up watching the news a few years ago, and that was the start to being a lot happier without all the gloom and doom. Although I enjoy CZcams, I'm not much on social media which has helped me get off the merry-go-round of chasing my feelings / reactions in vicious circles
I got 97, and was diagnosed as a child. I think the fact I didn't really understand masking was what got me my early diagnosis, but I find it hard to connect with other autistic women because of it. I don't really find myself altering or being overly conscious of my behaviour, but I put more focus on what I'm saying and how I come across based on that. I'm "so autistic" that when I'm in the moment, it doesn't even really occur to me that people could be judging me based on my body language or facial expressions because instead I have to focus my energy on auditory processing and how I should respond.
It's a pretty eye opening test, at least to the extent I was masking. Did the cat-q recently and got 144 with 50 comp, 50 mask and 44 assim, that prompted me to go through more of the tests on the site.
Your comments about whistling causing "anger/panic" and that it "goes straight through" you were so relatable, except for me it's whispering. For me it's less related to volume and more about tonal quality and proximity. "It makes me want to remove my skin" is how I usually describe the overall effect. Dudes hoping to achieve a "makes me want to remove my clothes" situation with *ugghhh* "sexy whispering" were likely very disappointed.
I am puzzled by this hammering on this whole idea of "appearing relaxed". In my whole life I have never received a comment about my body language or facial expressions or anything like that being weird; I don't remember ever being told I appeared anxious or nervous or whatever the comment is that causes people to monitor the 'relaxedness' of their body language. For me the comments have always been about things I said, and the thing I mask is the things I want to say. During a conversation, what I'm doing, the whole time, is weighing whether the things I'm thinking are worth saying, whether the other person may interpret them as insults or something, whether the other person may just be uninterested (I can't stand the idea of starting a conversation the other person isn't interested in because I hate being stuck in conversations where the other person is doing that and not being able to tell them that I'm not interested because that's rude, but also being unable to steer the conversation in a different direction without appearing rude, not being able to find another subject to move on to because *I don't know if the other person may be uninterested*), trying to find a more acceptable/normal/non-insulting way of saying the things I want to say and often throwing them out when I can't find any.
"have a lovely day" did a little chuckle to myself thinking "she went a bit offbcript there" really interesting! didnt know there was a tool / questionnaire for masking specifically. this one seems really good
I took the quiz before watching to make sure I wasn’t parroting you but we got hung up on the same details like having learned by fumbling around as opposed to research and awareness of others impressions of me. I’m male and got a 153, which I suppose makes me an anomalous anomaly
Diagnosed before the age of three… this checks out, and it feels surprisingly good to see others if our breed, I didn’t have really anyone else like me in my social circles growing up, and these behaviors traits are spot on descriptions for the most part, until the performance question, I somehow am extroverted as well so I enjoy putting on the show most of the time
I love how confident you are with you autism. I re-did the test now after about 9 months from my diagnosis/first time and the score is lower! I had it almost maxed out now im only 15% above male average!
I am wondering if masking is more prominent when undiagnosed .. you indicate that maybe diagnosis helps lift those personal expectations that swamp our social circumstances
I interpreted question #10 (I need the support of other people in order to socialize) in a completely different way than you did. I leaned more toward a positive response simply because, when I start talking, people may literally need to stop me from talking (being auDHD means I can talk non-stop, even without leaning into my special interests) but I will rarely be the one to initiate a conversation. So, to me, that meant that I do need the support of other people in the sense that I need them to be the ones to take the first step to engage with me.
Okay I think my favourite thing about your videos, beside the perfect black fringe (omg you're so pretty btw) is seeing footage of you bouncing around. Your child-self is adorable flapping and turning in circles
great video! i took the test, then went down the apparently very autistic rabbit hole of taking a bunch of autism tests to find out tf is going on with my brain, and ive concluded imma go see a psychologist, cause all the tests said i was autistic, which is probably a sign-
This test definitely helped me understand that I based my entire personality (in front of friends) off the always-smiling main character of stories I read. I did this because everyone always loved them unconditionally within 2 secs flat. You learn something new everyday, ig
Ooh the greetings story triggered a memory: I was working at a supermarket, and I had the task of bringing the waste to another supermarket to recycle. Apparently I just waltzed in without saying hello and the lady gave me an earful. I cried for half an hour because being yelled at and criticised was something I could not bear at the time. In between sobbing I said to her "It's not y-your fault, I had a hard week" 😢
I took it before watching and got 135, with 55 compensation, 41 masking, and 39 assimilation 🥶 explains A Lot...I am also diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder...
I would have been nice if the test included other types of masking, like monitoring your body (voice, movements, etc.) and the dissonance between your feelings and what you show, especially when you feel panicked but you just stay neutral on the outside. My boyfriend is autistic and I'm often the one explaining to him what he's masking because he's been doing it unconsciously for so long 😅
17:33 that question is exactly why i started using social media so much, its like a free study of the human experience without having to experience it first hand aka embarrass myself like dammmnn my brain is frying with all the realizations
I know I'm late to comment on this but I've just found your channel and am doing some binge watching. When you talked about watching yourself in zoom meetings and checking how your expression looks I nearly cried! My whole life I've been called vain for looking at myself rather than others if there's a shiny surface nearby because how do you explain that you're so desperately trying to look normal that you're look at yourself to check that your face/body/hands are doing the right thing. I get so embarrassed on online calls that the other participants will notice I'm staring at myself and adjusting my face that I spend 90% of the meeting telling myself to relax and not look at the screen... thank you for the validation and sorry for the rant!!
when you spoke about the thought process behing recognising facial expressions you BLEW my mind... i never realised that i always try to imagine what might have happened for a person to make such an expression...
Anger panic is the best description I ever heard for the feeling sensory overload feels like. Like stop your whistling is gonna make me go coocoo bananas. I don’t wanna hurt anyone but I kinda want to make you not have the ability to do it ever again for your whole life. But I like to whistle. Only I am allowed (I know my brain is unreasonable so that’s why I ignore it)
79- apparently lower than the neurotypical average. 😮 (Not diagnosed with ASD but I was wondering if I was masking traits.) But even if I'm apparently not masking much, this was still really helpful. And it's also pretty eye-opening to learn just how much the rest of the world apparently is acting!
That CAT-Q test really needs to specify if the questions relate to interactions with strangers or people I know well. OF COURSE I act completely different with the (few) people I'm comfortable with, and everyone else. Always assumed this was severe social anxiety and self-consciousness, which I've had from a very young age.
@@imautisticnowwhat My prediction is basically guaranteed now. It'll be a 100k subscriptions in no time. You're doing such great work! I'm glad you decided to start this channel. It's clear you have a lot to offer, and you've helped many people. Keep it up!
I relate to a lot of the underlying things, and I'm sure I'm autistic, but I'm so socially unaware that it never occurred to me to try to mask or try to copy others. I was okay with being weird. Oh my Lord, I had someone ask me if my sister was my best friend, and other people were like "that's mean," and I didn't even know that could be mean.
Oh my goodness:( I'm a whistler, like probably on a professional level...I'm learning guitar, but my lips and tongue are my instrument that comes natural to me...not just silly jingles or doing it for a dog. It's like a dead talent...and there's probably people out there who are better, but I'm the best I've personally ever heard, any melody, beat, lead, mimic, I can do it all. I have a full range and a few different vobratos and techniques. Strangers usually think it is a cellphone or recorded song, when I randomly so it in public, then they'll be in disbelief that it's me. I started copying my dad, who was very musical, when I was a baby. Idk how old, but I could sit up on my own. It's one of my coping mechanisms. When I overthink things or stress, and don't know what to do, I'll either flow with whatever song I'm thinking of or compliment and music already playing. Most people tell me it's so beautiful and nice....but I've had a couple people who hate it. I'm so sorry it triggers you a bit. That makes me kinda sad. I need to be more self conscious of it. I can also do a few pretty bird songs hehehe.
I didn’t think I practiced facial expressions, but then totally related when you spoke about the zoom calls. In fact I relate to almost everything you say, but I’m old now and have learned a lot about coping and don’t really care about approval from others as much anymore.
In social situations (like parties, back when I went to parties) I rarely stay in one place. I thought I was really extroverted because I was always moving between people, but now I realise I was compensating and hiding that I had no idea what to do after "hi, how are you, how are your kids/job/life etc" and so would need to move to the next person. I am now 38 and feel no need to 'prove' myself anymore, so I don't even go to parties in the first place, or just sit with my husband or one person I feel really comfortable with and don't talk to anyone else. With learning social skills from TV etc, what I tended to notice was that I would accidentally emulate whatever I was watching (down to putting on accents, then getting accused of mocking accents - ops!), so I always act like whatever I am watching at the time, and since I stopped watching dramatised TV and started watching documentaries about things I am interested in I am less able to manage socially, because I don't have something to copy, but none of this was conscious - it wasn't until I started learning about it all that I thought... oh, is that not how people do things?
Also, I scored 123, 45 compensation, 43 masking and 35 assimilation. I think the last one reflects that I don't really bother to socialise outside my trusted people very often anymore!
Legit with the low key looking mad when you're not making your face do happy face, lol. My partner, when I'm focusing on a task, asks so often if I'm angry, and I'm like' "What? No, I don't now what you're talking about, I'm just trying to get this thing done."
I indentify myself so much on what you said, like having a voice in your head saying "YOU SHOULD TALK TO THEM, A NORMAL PERSON WOULD TALK TO THEM" kkkkkkk but I don't do most of the time
The cat Q is seriously flawed in several respects. The obvious screamer is in screening those with a co-occurrence of ADHD. The questions in this test pre-suppose a level of working memory, a lack of scatter, and the effective executive function needed to, as the test calls it, "practice" or "copy" the body language, posture, and traits. This adhd brain is too scattered to really relate to the questions in the cat q because it is using the presumptive terms it uses. An interesting study would be to take a group with dual diagnosis and have them take the test unmedicated followed by taking it after getting a comfortable dose regimen going
As a boy. As I got older smiling all the time was eventually called out as weird. Then towards the end of high school I got called out for looking angry all the time. Figuring out what I am supposed to be at times is hard even now many many years later.
yay I agreee so much with the idea of their being pressure to talk to people instead of wanting to in social situations, unless its close friends and I actually feel relaxed (rarely).
I'm not diagnosed autistic, but somehow my instagram feed shows me more and more content from autistic people and I relate quite a lot, and now YT starts to do that too... So I start to question that. Did the test, total 128; compensation 33, Masking 42 and Assimilation 53. As a chronic depressive person with social anxiety, in my case, high assimilation implies lower well being. I moved on to the raads-r test and got 141. So somewhere between that: 130 The mean score of autistic people; strong evidence for autism. 160 Very strong evidence for autism. I just have no clue where I could go here in Germany to have an real diagnosis, also I'm not sure it would be 100% accurate, they couldn't talk to my parents (as they live in another country and don't speak German) and there might be some incomprehension due to the fact that German is my second foreign language, so I don't always have the right words to express myself.
This seems to be aimed only at people who really want to appear sociable. I know I have no instincts to rely on in social situations, but I also have no drive to mask it. Like, I'll put conscious effort into eye contact, posture, my facial expressions and trying to keep the conversation going, but only on very rare special occasions, like dating and job interviews. The rest of the time, I feel no desire to try to appear more approachable to others. I dont owe it to anyone to put in that effort. If it makes people uncomfortable, that's not my concern, I feel uncomfortable around them too, and neither they have any obligation to manage my emotions nor I have any obligation to manage theirs. Indeed, if people are as uncomfortable around me as I am around them, that reduces the likehood of additional chit-chat beyond the minimum necessary for whatever reason we're interacting in the first place. And I dont remember anything good ever having come out of such additional bonus interactions.
i really like how you explained your thought processes, and i also could relate to a lot of things you said. i'm not autistic, but i took the test and got 140. so i don't know what to think about that lol
Me too. I am not diagnosed but I have been researching for two years now. I really think I am but I also don’t want to be one of those people who self diagnose. Idk
@@kaylanek1 self diagnosis is a step towards a proper diagnosis and you know what to look for when looking back at your experience, nothing wrong with self diagnosis if the end goal is to actually get a proper diagnosis at some point 👍
@reain since there can often be reasons an official diagnosis could be detrimental, as long as a person uses things they learn from the autistic community to make life easier to live then they are achieving the goal.
@@kaylanek1Formal diagnosis isn't something everyone is able to access, afford, or sometimes it just might not be suitable in their particular circumstances - and that's okay. If you want access to accommodations, to particular services or programmes, or official recognition of some kind, in most countries you need a formal diagnosis. In addition, formal diagnosis can help many autists (especially older ones with long years/decades of struggle, distress, rejection, isolation, poor mental health, etcetera) to feel validated, and to begin a process of self-acceptance, understanding, and kindness. Then, too, it *can* (but doesn't always) make it easier for those around us to (a) accept our diagnosis is real, and (b) begin to understand why we are as we are. For the above reasons, formal diagnosis can be a very positive and effective step to take. However, not everyone is in a situation where that's possible. Perhaps they live in an area where there are no diagnosticians. Perhaps they cannot afford the fees, or the cost of travelling to where there are diagnosticians. Perhaps waiting lists are immensely long, and they're still waiting. Perhaps they have sought diagnosis in the past and were refused (as I was around 2002) because I was female and 'too old'. The diagnostician wasn't 'comfortable' diagnosing adults. A little earlier my brother was told he couldn't be autistic because he was in a relationship. It's even possible that seeking an assessment might be risky for them in terms of educational or employment opportunities, discrimination, social stigma, risk of abuse, or something else. Some people lives in places where being a known autist may expose you to worse than social stigma or harassment. So please, people, remember that for some individuals self-diagnosis is the only diagnosis they can get. Many online communities for autists accept self-diagnosis for those reasons. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, wherever it may take you.
I scored 120 total, so well above the threshold and roughly in line with other autistics. I feel like if I had taken this test ten years ago or more, I would have scored much higher. I'm much more comfortable with myself than I was in school, so I don't feel the need to mask as much. Overall, this was an interesting thing to look at, and I'll definitely share this with some of my fellow neurodivergent friends and family
Bro, what? My bond with my cousin is gold, I'd never entertain someones being disrespectful about my friendship with my cousin. I think is that they're just sad they don't have a strong bond like that. Someone tried to "joke" about us thinking sweet home alabama, and we ended up putting him in his place by using the methods of making someone feel uncomfortable and cringe at what they just did. We gave him the disgusted glares and told him "That's f*cking disgusting and not funny. What is wrong with you?" In a bold strong and controlled voice in a scolding manner. It was highly effective, he stopped and you could tell he was reevaluating his life choices right then and there. This was during middleschool.
I'm going through autism and ADHD assessment at the age of 35 snd just took the CAT-Q - my results were really high, a total of 163. I think my autism was never noticed because I'd already learned to mask so well before I even started school!
Once somebody told me that I was “always smiling” and I got in such a panic like “ omg what now, I can’t get out of it with a smile” I literally felt like crying and just alwardly said something like “Idk I really like to smile”
Feel you
I just say "It's easier to smile"
I relate to this so much! I find myself just defaulting to a smile because any other facial expression seems "wrong."
Ooh..I did the same thing once..same answer ( buddy the elf from the movie elf said it... so I used it )
Yep: 😃 smiling , it's my favorite ! not really😢
Honestly, just like... *shrug*"
It feels weird because people will attach judgements to random innocuous statements and observations like that a lot, but that doesn't mean you have to give a damn about whatever they're trying to hand you.
I already have a diagnosis but this was still surprising to me. Nearly all of these questions had me going: "Wait what!? Is that like... not a normal thing people do? How else do you learn to talk to people?" Like legit I thought this was how everyone else was doing it.
Me too before I did the quiz!! So weird how different our internal experiences of life can be - who knew?
Yep...so did I 🙄
37 years old, I just learned this less than two weeks ago and I'm still very confused.
2 weeks ago today I was hanging out with a life long best friend and I went on a rant about how I was sick of all the games. If I had only 1 wish it would be that everyone just said what the hell they wanted because I am exhausted. All the bullshit small talk I have to suffer through just for someone to be able to ask me for a favor. I'll be standing there for 10-15 minutes like when the hell will this end. I know what you want. You know what you want. Just ask me so I can do it and be on my damn way already. I am so tired. Is this just me?
@@treadhead44 Why don't you just interrupt them and tell them to get to the point? You already know they want a favour from you so tell them you already know that's what they're getting too? If they are such good friends of yours to ask a favour you should be able to speak honestly to them instead of the nonsense time wasting you are complaining about here.
When I get asked how I am, I always blurt out "good" really quickly despite how I feel because I panic and I'm supposed to answer relatively quickly but I end up saying it so quickly that it's not normal. And I always forget to say "how are you?" back to them and then I avoid eye contact because things got awkward and the awkwardness hurts and I don't want to be perceived 😂
I've had so many cringy moments where I realise I was supposed to asked someone a question back and I never did 😂
I'm actually training myself to also just say "good" too haha. Often people ask 'how are you', and then somehow my brains goes into hyper thinking mode and I try to process how I feel, but I have no idea. So I just scrap together a weird sentence like: "Uhhhh yeah, I thiiiiink, maybe, welllllll, but this, and, yesssss no quite good and yeah it's okay"
OR! If I feel really shitty I just can't lie and say I'm good.
Someone being polite: "how are you?"
Me: "GIVES A LONG ESSAY HOW I'M FEELING AND WHY" - and while I'm giving my speech I notice they were just being polite and kinda want to move on and I'm so clueless how to wrap up a conversation so I'm just a big blob of awkwardness. :D
I always get unreasonably angry internally when I'm asked "how are you", because I know it's completely insincere and they don't actually want to know. Same with "what's up", "how's your day going", etc etc [insert ice breaker small talk here]. I started just replying with "well, I'm here" or "okay", or "it's going", but later got better at responding with as short an answer as I could that was actually honest, committing to the exchange and asking them with genuine interest how they are (because now it's a challenge to get them to actually respond with a real answer). I kinda made it a game to force small talk into actual engagement, which helped with a bit of my awkwardness because now everyone was forced out of their comfort zone. 😂
I've quite often respond with script to different question. So "How are you?" and I say "Thank you". Realizing my mistake I exit the stage as quickly as possible. This happens a lot to me.
@@chrismaxwell1624 Same! Or saying "You too!" to something that doesn't apply and then try to hope they didn't hear you and walk away as fast as possible... hahah
On eye contact.
I have ADHD and I avoid eye contact because people's facial expressions are a MAJOR distraction. If I allow myself to fall into that rabbit hole what usually happens is we'll reach a point where i'm asked something and I realise I havn 't been listening so have ZERO context with which to answer appropriately!
Awkward....to say the least. My solution? Avoid eye contact so I can actually listen to what's being said.
Facial expressions are f'ing fascinating though.
Yessss - totally relate!
I'm adhd and cannot make eye contact when I'm talking, because I need to string the info in my brain into a cohesive story and not get lost lol!
I’m autistic and don’t make eye contact because most of the time I see the words in my mind and so have to look at a clear(ish) space like a wall or the middle distance so I can read the words with my internal voice. It’s very normal for me.
Eye contact is so overwhelming for me !!!
I also have adhd and I find literally anything distracting while I’m trying to speak. Like some people have mentioned above, I get distracted by trying to maintain eye contact if that makes sense. Like I see their eyes and Ike like “oh okay keep looking at them” and then I completely lose my thought altogether because I had to think about looking at them…
And like I said, anything is distracting. So I have to look away and try to like….visualize my thoughts so I can read them, almost. So I’m really just looking away so I can read my thoughts coherently and not get distracted.
Not sure if that makes sense, but I definitely relate!!
I'm diagnosed as autistic and I score incredibly high on every single autistic test there is...except this one.
The reason for that is quite simple, I just don't care enough about social interaction to bother with masking.
The only part I scored a little higher on was assimilation, and that's because I got bullied as a teenager and have learnt not to stand out to avoid trouble.
My compensation and masking score were incredibly low, even lower than would be average for a neurotypical person.
My point is: don't rely on a single test to figure out if you're autistic, everyone is different and it there is a reason why so many test exist.
Yeah I think either we dont care much or these questions are no longer relevant, like we dont need the coping strategies because the lessons have become internalised maybe
I would have scored higher 5 years ago than I do today, except that 5 years ago I was in denial about a lot of it so I probably would have skewed my answers lol. These tests definitely arent the be all end all.
Yeah. I think I may have done this stuff in grade school, but then I kinda stopped caring about what other people think of me
My tests were similar. All the other tests showed a high likelihood of being autistic except for this one where my compensation and masking are significantly lower than nt and nd, but my assimilation is roughly equal to an autistic person's level.
In another video she said this CAT-Q was especially good if the other tests made on the fence about whether you're autistic
I remember crying to my mom when i was 16 or 17 that I was too scared to "be myself" in school. I felt like every time I talked, people could tell I was different, it was something i learned as young as age 5. I felt that I had to be quiet and complacent in order to not be "too much".
I relied on my twin sister as my security blanket when I was in school, going to school without her made me feel so scared.
I scored 151. Social anxieteeeeeee! It's weird to think that non-autistic people don't put SO MUCH effort into social interactions.
Dude, i got 162, not even diagnosed, could call it social phobia at this point
@@mustachecrab9669 I scored 162 too.
I scored 39 and suffer with extreme social anxiety.. not sure how
I got 136 lol xxx
i scored 157 and undiagnosed. could explain a hell of a lot.. 😮💨
I mean, honestly most of us are not covering it up very well and everyone DOES know lol. They might not guess autism, they just think we’re awkward weirdos or standoffish or whatever. It’s sad to think the thing I put a ton of energy into still doesn’t really make me appear typical
I’ve been described as “intense!” by some people, including a (mis)manager at a past job that had a personality of cult insanity that claimed they embraced diversity, but didn’t realize they had it in me right in front of them (I didn’t mention my nature, I let them use their own bad judgment, as honestly, I don’t believe informing them would have helped, and would have made me an even juicier target of their abuse) and the day I was fired was (perversely enough) one of the best days. How, you might ask?
In the “exit interview” I did need to know how they’d handle questions from possible future employers. I asked if they’d give references. She was so mad at me to start with (frankly, she set me up to fail via absurd requirements) it was fun watching her trying not to explode in front of her boss.
I never thought of it this way....😂 so true.
Ah but if they misidentified you then you are still winning at imposter 😂 I mean so many of us are so good we fool ourselves lol
Exactly, just don't
I always think of this!
Maybe my efforts are useless and practically unnecessary if people already perceive me as a 'human alien'.
Unmasking is hard and sometimes hurtful.
Old-school masker here. I used to emulate the mannerisms and speaking patterns of friends when I was younger. It's only recently (I'm well into middle age) that I've developed an "act" that is completely my own, that I put on at work or wherever. It takes effort to sustain for long periods, so once I'm home, the mask is off, much to my wife's chagrin. The mask is essentially a more muted version of myself - no exhaggerated movements, reserved, soft measured speaking tone in the working-class Southern Californian accent that I grew up hearing, steady eye contact, nodding in all the right places.
I hate test like this because the answer is always "it depends on the situation".
It is so tricky!
RE: Scripting conversations...I found socializing with new people extremely difficult...until I started playing Sims 3. Then I mastered the "make friends" patter for your individual Sims. And I realized I could apply the same patterns to human interactions. And, now well...yes. Yes my speech is scripted, with new people at least!
In a similar way, whenever I "successfully" make small talk or have basic interactions with people, especially strangers, I always picture a little Sims "positive reaction" symbol afterwards 😂 (And same if there's a bad interaction, but with the minus symbol haha)
I thought I just had social anxiety. But the more I listen to you brave young women talking about this sh*t, I am like…. Hang on. I’ve been masking for 39 years?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god.
Also, I got 144! Wow. This is crazy. Thanks for helping me learn more about myself!
Over 50 years of masking for me. FFS! Trying now to learn how and when to let it down. I work in customer service so I have to wear it at work but am trying to be more authentic outside of that. I’m going to a 3 day event soon where I’ll see some people who haven’t seen me in 3 years and most of them know about my recently self-diagnosed autism so I’m curious to see how this goes.
My thoughts exactly I’m now questioning if I just have social anxiety or if it’s something a bit different
Mood
Yeah same! I took this test and my numbers were quite high … I just assumed it was social anxiety … now I’m thinking this might be more 😮
I recently started the process of being assessed for autism after taking some tests on Embrace Autism. On the CAT-Q I scored 150. I'm not diagnosed yet, but the more tests I've taken and the more experiences I've listened to from people with autism the more a lot of things that I've struggled with in my life began to click into place.
Now I'm a bit nervous that I won't be diagnosed, because it feels like my life has been a puzzle with a bunch of missing pieces, and the possibility that I'm autistic feels like I've found the missing pieces.
With the right Dr, they’ll be able to see past your mask. My psychiatrist was actually confused that I *hadn’t* already been diagnosed because she said it was super obvious… and I thought I was “perfectly peopling” 💀
I was being perfectly honest with her in other ways, because therapy doesn’t work unless you want it to and are honest with your therapist, but I thought I was flawlessly hitting all the right social cues and I super wasn’t 🤣
A Dr who is familiar with the autism spectrum, especially with BIPOC and women, will be able to spot an autistic person from across the room.
Additionally, autism is based on internal reactions and how things make you feel, so if you’re strongly suspecting autism, you’re almost definitely right. Especially with you saying you’ve basically made autism your special interest 🤣
You’ll be alright.
@@CraftyVegan unless your a white man
@@CraftyVegan all she needs to do is identify as autistic and she will be
Same...
Same Same Same!!
Scripting: I just spent 2 hours meticulously writing an email to ask for a quote (ugg, adulting) just to get a response "I'll just call you and we'll chat". NOOOOOO!!!
So... I got total 134, compensation 52, masking 44, assimilation 38. That means I got an A with bonus points right? Joking aside, I was diagnosed ADHD @ 23, and just last year saw a psychologist and got diagnosed ASD and confirmed ADHD. I thank you for the content!
My score was very similar.
Mine was 132 with an almost perfectly even divide for each category 💀
I got 35 total - compensation 14, masking 9, assimilation 12.
But I'm diagnosed with autism. I don't get it. I don't mask at all and I'm pretty good at social interactions if I make the effort. Maybe I just have ADHD.
@@AutomaticDuck300 That's cool. I actually started masking very young. By middle school / Jr High I started masking my autistic traits with my adhd traits because it was more socially acceptable to be goofy than just quiet. Of course, I didn't know I was either of the two, so I just thought of it as developing a more class clown type of persona. I always knew I masked, because it was always intentional, though I didn't know it was called masking. I thought of it as method acting a tailored version of myself that only stick out as different in the ways that I felt were acceptable. I mask at a depth that is more like females on the spectrum, but being male, I don't have the advantage of the extra social circuitry in the brain so it is not as good as what females can do.
@@theghcu hmm interesting. I can’t tell you my childhood experience because I don’t remember a lot before the age of 12 or 13. But I’m the opposite of you. I always felt more female than male. According to the OCEAN personality test and interpretations, I am more stereotypically female than male in terms of temperament. Maybe that’s why I’m pretty good socially. Who knows?
Oh the whistling!! It goes right up my spine, and I have a coworker who whistles all the time. I have considered checking the employee handbook to see if murder is a fireable offense, or would only get me a suspension, which tbh might be nice, as I am feeling burned out just now.
According to Embrace Autism, CAT-Q scores can be higher for neurotypical people who have reduced well-being and social anxiety. If you have any concerns about your mental health, please see a medical professional, such as your GP.
If you like this, you may like my previous video about what masking feels like from the inside:
czcams.com/video/H4vcMWB7fuQ/video.html
Or this is a fun one reacting to autism memes that my husband chose (I tried not to be offended):
czcams.com/video/Pzj0IUyPha4/video.html
Thank you so much for watching! 🥰
I took the cat-q and wow! I'm a guy and I scored a total of 141. I thought that I wasn't very high masking. But I had an epiphany while taking the test. So often I'll have a reaction to something, a strong emotion that makes me uncomfortable, like self conscious, so I will actually suppress the emotion or even be agitated by the stimulus giving me the emotion. I never realized that is masking but now I'm sure of it. I mask, not just by changing my behavior, but also by changing or compartmentalizing my emotions.
I'm a guy and scored 147, and I do that as well. I am feeling very little emotions in day to day life and if I do feel one, it's usually very intense. I thought for some time now that I might be suppressing my own emotions, and have no idea how to undo this. Makes sense that this might be me masking my feelings because they're not 'normal', numbing them in the process.
I wasn't exactly aware I was scripting for a very long time lol but I recently noticed my internal feelings during small talk, like when I'm at a hair appointment. I must have, over time, learned that they will ask the same things: "Are you in school?", "What do you do for work?", "Where are you from?", "Do you have any pets?" And I've noticed that I have a stock of things I'll tell people during small talk. I've learned the "appropriate" things to say... Which unfortunately don't include info-dumping or talking about my special interests. Occasionally I've managed to sneak in a little bit of special interest discussion though if it comes up in conversation (like psychology)
When a hairdresser doesn't talk to me at all it REALLY throws me off though lol
Took mine a few weeks ago and scored 152 and yeah... reading the averages and realizing how much significantly higher I scored was pretty eye opening. I think it was the same night that it did truly click for me that I'm autistic.
I wrote a poem at 18 about feeling like I had to wear a mask, before I even knew about this concept or term, and finished wondering if everyone else felt like they had to wear a mask too. I thought it might just be something that was normal. I'm 28 now and realizing I'm autistic has made my whole life make soooo much more sense!
It always has made me sad to remember visits with my late mother years ago, arriving at home, and realizing I hadn't made eye contact with her the entire afternoon. It is a comfort hearing you talk about your experience with your own mother, and that it's okay because you two are so close. That is a beautiful explanation.
I also got 147! I never knew what autism really is and the more I look into it the more I think that I am in fact autistic. Although these tests always feel a little bit weird to take. In most questions I can tell what answer will lead to a higher score, so I always think I'm falsifying the test with what I think the answer to a question should be. I read a question and subconsciously think "if I select strongly agree, I get a higher score" so I automatically select something in this region before consciously thinking about it and coming to a real answer. That's probably pretty autistic on its own lol
That's actually kind of a thing for everyone! It's called the observer effect and it can really mess with the data on psychological surveys. The wording is usually designed to minimize this, but people always act a little different when they feel they're being watched. It's why they often tell you to answer fast - your first impulse is usually the least affected!
Got 147 as well, such a funny coincidence. Curiously enough, I got 56 Compensation, 44 Masking, and 47 Assimilation; which is the inverse to what she got in her results, I scored lower on what she scored higher and vice versa.
Noticed that having ADHD really helps with scoring high on these Autism related quizzes lmao
Total:158
Compensation:56
Masking:51
Assimilation:51
I've had my suspicions for a while. Never been tested, only diagnosed with deep depression and anxiety disorder. Unfortunately not all doctors go deep and question the reasons. I've been thinking for a long time, that why no medication worked is because they were trying to cure tha symptoms instead of finding out what is really happening.
Same problem over here! ❤
I was diagnosed with what used to be known as Aspergers syndrome in 1993 (31 Years ago!!) and the earliest footage pre diagnosis is a video from about June of 1990 where I'm on the floor of my great aunt's house sliding the tv guide around in a side to side motion while zoned out (my dad was calling my name but I didn't look up) I was probably stimming with tv guide because at the time I felt a little like I was "on display" for one of dad's home videos.
I did the questionnaire right now before watching the rest of the video, and my overall response was "I don't know?!???" Most of the time. The questions where overwhelming to understand, and my interpretation was not always spot on I felt like. And then when I watch you do the questionnaire and hear your thoughts you also interpret the questions in a different way then I did.. Apart from me feeling like an imposter, it feels like maybe the questions are a little too diffuse and depending on context you answer it differently 😅. So I wouldn't rely on questionnaires to answer anything really.. I have diagnosed ADHD and did some questionnaire, I guess close to this one later in my diagnosis. I think then I didn't answer at all the same way I did this time because I was fixated on having ADHD and not Autism. And also the fact that "I don't know?!??". Questions are hard and overwhelming.. and I think I have both ADHD and ASD.. both run in the family anyway 🎉. But I love this video and the one about masking from the inside! Even if my response is mostly "I don't know 😢 maybe??", Analyzing the little interactions I have with non family I think I am masking alot, and I do get burnt out and overwhelmed every day. But ADHD and ASD are so "cross compatible" for a lack of a better word that I just don't know if I have just adhd or both.. just had to share this..
I remember trying to script conversations ahead of time when I was younger. I gave up fairly quickly because I realized I was not good at predicting the sort of thing the other person might say.
Thank you for this funny and insightful video. It's as if I hear my wife talking 😊 She's on the spectrum as well, and since we know this, it's way easier to understand her peculiarities. For me, her neurodivergence is a big plus. Yes, it has it's disadvantages (I am quite extraverted and social, so my love for parties isnt mutual, to name one). But the great thing is her exquisitely detailed perception, her creativity and - how to say - pureness. She taught me to just say what I want, in stead of implying it. Her enthusiasms are delightful. And in general, as she's so comfortable with me, our relationship is hyper close.
I recently got diagnosed, but still often doubt myself. Like, everyone is selfconcious in social interactions, right? So this was actually really helpful to disprove those doubts. I scored above the average for autistic women in all categories.
Me too! Two years after the diagnosis I'm still reading books, watching these type of videos, and taking extra tests. I downplayed my answers and still scored 150.
And yet I keep wondering...
I remember taking an online quiz called RAADS-R and my total score was 150. I had no idea what it meant though (because I didn’t see the “What do my scores mean?” thing so I just assumed that it was a low score and that I’m probably not autistic. I just found the website again and it says my score means “strong evidence for autism”. Wish I realized this back in May when I took the quiz because I really thought I wasn’t autistic. Now I’m doing a lot of research and realizing I probably am.
I have a lot of social anxiety and am strongly introverted, and was sorta wondering if I was autistic. I think this questionnaire puts me on the allistic side, all things considered. The idea of actively studying others' social interactions to build my own script is so foreign to me! I think I just have a case of ADHD and a lil awkward sometimes when I'm not paying attention. Godspeed to y'all though, that sounds exhausting af
ADHD often also includes masking. Just in different ways / areas. I strongly suspect to have both “disorders”, so I mask the hell out of every social interaction 😅
@@Slaaneshy_Concubinereally? Im gonna do some research into this because my mom keeps saying I have autism, she literally WANTS me to have it but I think it’s just ADHD and anxiety. I don’t study facial expressions but as a kid I apparently did autism symptoms
@@10yearsago96
The differentiation is very difficult unfortunately because both disorders share a lot of their symptoms, even if the reasons for those symptoms are different.
Stimming and issues to focus on things one isn’t interested in for example are very common in both conditions.
Also, masking mechanisms are high in number. Studying facial expressions is not the only way autistic people mask.
Same I think I just have a lot of social anxiety :) I could never script conversations
I often find myself "channeling" the social energies of certain characters or people in conversation. It bugs me sometimes, especially since it can lead to its own social errors and miscommunications.
Times my scripting has failed:
Me: "Hey, how are you?"
Them: "Good how are you?"
Me: "Good, how bout you?" .....
😂😂 I've definitely done this!
Me too!
With regards to one of the biggest autism signs... When I was growing up, a lot of people told me that I seemed to never or barely look anyone in the eye when talking to them. That kind of shaming, along with the old myth (?) that someone is lying if they aren't looking the questioner in the eyes while responding, made me train/force myself to look people in they eye, which still makes me uncomfortable but I push through it. 😢
Edit: someone mentioned ADHD and being distracted. I also struggled with ADHD for most of my life and people's facial expressions were VERY distracting, hence my eyes drifting away from their face and eyes.
Why can I not be myself in social situations? I am anxious because of the things people have said to me whenever I let my guard down. That I'm too much. Too intense, too passionate, too sensitive, shaming me in front of others. I used to mask well enough and then I got a brain injury and now I can't mask well at all. I always feel exposed. My daughter tells me not to care, but I don't like the way I feel when Im around 99% of the population. I feel safer alone. But I enjoy watching people interact with eachother. I'm trying to be okay without filters, stimming publicly because I really can't hide it now, but I don't like the attention.
I think it’s definitely time for me to get assessed.
I wanna get assessed to stop my brain from saying “you’re not autistic you are just an attention seeker” but my mother says it’s way too expensive for ya’ know just peace of mind.
@@UnnecessaryWords303 it is. I looked into it for myself and as an adult female in the US it is 3 to 5 thousand out of pocket and the diagnosis won’t help me at all to get accommodations for anything. Not in the US, at least.
@@UnnecessaryWords303 with insurance i paid like $120 and got a written letter from them as well.
@@stupidsminkle do you mind if I ask which state you got diagnosed in?
@@faeriesmak Irene (the Thought Spot) has a video where she goes step by step through how to apply for financial help for an ASD diagnosis. I imagine i will be utilizing that information for myself - I will discuss with my psychologist this Monday so that I may be connected with the right psychiatrist. I hope we can receive what we need from any diagnoses we seek.
I think I'm autistic but my imposter syndrome is killing me 😭
I can very much relate to that xD I too suspect that I might be autistic but I am so scared of someone tell me 'no you're just bad at life, just finally get you're sh*t together and stop whining about it.' Wich I kind of heard a lot when I was a child so maybe that's why 😅
Me too 😥
@@mableleaf2445 don't worry, those two aren't mutually exclusive
Signed: a diagnosed autistic who has been told I'm just not trying hard enough my entire life.
@@fenixmeaney6170 yeah, I was afraid so. But it is a comforting little lie that this imposterfeeling and this comments magically disapears with a Diagnosis 😅 although I know better. I'm sorry that you have been told that too, I can't understand why so many people just don't have one percent empathy in theire Body. It's so frustrating sometimes.
@@mableleaf2445 Oh, that feeling. I know it so so well.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, and OCD. My Cat-Q score was 141, but I'm curious as to whether that is due to my numerous disorders and the fact that ADHD can be similar to autism. I did have a low assimilation score so maybe that shows that its really just my ADHD and other stuff. IDK. but I can say that I am so glad to have found such a relatable and enjoyable community.
Anxiety and OCD are often diagnosed when autism is missed , especially in females.
@@piiinkDeluxe Thanks for letting me know! I will look into it😊
@@arrypotter9472 you're welcome 😊
@@piiinkDeluxeI actually have OCD though, theres poison in my water at night so I have to blow on it 5 times to fix it. I have to touch everything x amount of times so the evil entities go away. I have to touch x thing to make sure my parents stay alive and healthy. Along with almost every ADHD symptom and no autism ones, my mom keeps trying to say I have autism but I don’t experience any symptoms:/
12:20 I like to call this a need for a 'support human', hah. You just heavily prefer if not need someone there who's more willing and comfortable to socialize for you.
For the longest time I've needed my mom to be my support human, but while I'm around my s/o, I realize they need me just as much if not more, so we switch off being each other's support human based on who needs it more that day, without a single question asked as to 'do you need it more than me', we just. Click that well.
I finally found someone I understand and who understands me well enough that I don't have to have every single thing verbalized or analyzed to ensure I'm not missing something important that will get me told off, someone who won't be upset even if I do miss a beat, y'know?
It's not all there is to the relationship but it really does help a ton to have that, it's a massive thing among many that I'm constantly grateful for ^^
I tried the test and got a 140, but I'm not really surprised by that. I've put in an ungodly amount of work into understanding other people, fitting in, and "succeeding" in social situations since I was 7.
Huh, I got an 80 (rather below average) which is interesting to me since I've recently been wondering if some of my anxiety is linked to autism-spectrum stuff. I'm *pretty sure* what I've been considering 'depression' is more actually 'anxiety', but I wish I had a better idea where/what that anxiety is based in.
Excellent videos, btw. Thanks for putting in the effort for random internet people. :)
wow. i really relate to you saying that being around people is always a performance when you have to control how you sit, stand, what expressions you make. also, this video has helped me realize that any time i understand the social norms of a certain situation, it's either from observing other people or through trial and error. in any new social situation, i have to observe other people to get an example of how i can behave.
Overall score: 153
The other things that I forgot what they were:
57
59
45
I won the autism test! Again! I'm starting to suspect I've been autistic all this time and everything is making so much sense!
Channels like yours have been so helpful I don't have words. Here I am a 52 yo afab and just now considering the possibility I'm autistic, and lo & behold, I am!
At least I know now. I live in a mental health care desert so I have to rely on this kind of thing to get any straight answers, and I know it's not a professional assessment by a long shot but it's better than the absolute nothing I've had for most of my life. Thank you so much for this channel!
Wow this was actually very helpful. I have recently "talked myself out" of being autistic, lol. I had this big revelation two years ago and the language auf autism (masking, burnout etc) helped me navigate my world better. But then I thought "yeah but it doesn't matter if I actually am autistic anyway because I get by fine, it's okay, I am functional". But I have to put so much effort into all of this, jfc. I score 140 in the test. That's even more than the average for autistic females. And I deliberatly answered conservatively.
Sigh, I'd really like a formal diagnosis. But I am so scared of not being taken seriously and waiting lists are like 18 months or closed altogether. I am scared if going through all the hassle of diagnosis just to get told "no you just have social anxiety, byeeeee".
Dont be scared to do it. Im going through this right now. If it is anxiety they still would help you to navigate that. Thats what my psychologist said. And then you know whats happening. I would say that it atleast feels better to just know. Ik how bad it feels, like nooo im normal ive just not ”tried hard enough, i make excuses, im lazy”. Its always that critical voice. Hope you get the help that you need and advocate for yourself. Take care☺️
My favorite scripting error I had was going to a restaurant advertising a new sandwich. The thing is normally those interactions go, "Hello welcome to [restaurant], would you like to try [new item]." and I always respond "No I will have the [my usual order]." Well the problem was they asked me if I wanted the new sandwich... and because the answer was yes, my brain shut down and I went silent and the attendant was like, "Excuse me? Do you know what you would like to order?" Which snapped me out of it.
A lot of those things I was like "nah" as you were going along, but then I think about how I am around people I don't know well in person, particularly those who are NT versus fellow NDs (a lot of the people I meet with are also ND because, well, work in tech), and how I react when joining new online communities, and definitely tick a lot more of the boxes there.
Also, it's interesting, was chatting with a colleague a few years younger than me and it came up that I talk a lot in the work chat app (Slack) and how she wished she had that confidence. I replied something like how it was easy to do it online where you can lurk and get the vibe of the place before contributing and then when you do you're one voice among dozens or more, so it's much less pressure than in a small group IRL where you can't just disappear by falling silent if you mess up. She was countering that it was easier for her in person than online because you get the body language feedback. I very much prefer the more straightforward emoji react than trying to read people directly, especially being in a place with such a strong emoji reaction culture (which is kinda essential in a chat room with hundreds of people, but our emoji set is large enough to basically hold mini-convos in the reacts 😂). Sorry, that went wildly off topic right there, but I guess the point being that the safety of both the crowd and the ability to observe before joining in and being able to easily disappear is easier for me whereas for her as more likely an NT she likes the in-person feedback, which I find so much less useful
I got a score of 144 on the Cat-Q test. I've researched autism, I have many, many traits. I keep bringing them up in hope my parents researched them. I've stopped masking infront of my parents recently, they're always asking ”why do you ___?” ”why are you ___?”. I say ”I don't know” because if I gave them a true response, or else they won't believe me.
I'm laughing at hiding in toilet cubicles. I still do that when I have to go in the office for work.
Holy crap! Allistic communication is wild. Taking note means noticing a thing, but taking notes means writing stuff on paper. That S is doing a lot of work.❤
This video helped me so much. A large number of the questions on the quiz would confused me or I would've put a neutral answer on it since most of the time I didn’t have a good understanding of what it could entail. Most of this test was just me thinking, "what do they mean by that," watching the video for an answer, and then returning to the quiz. This video and the quiz has helped me realize more about the stuff that I do in social interactions, especially since I generally get overwhelmed with these types of quizzes and have a hard time remembering what I do because of the panic. Having something to remind me, or at least give me a hint of it really helps, thank you.
I got a 136. I wonder how much of the masking is how I've been doing things differently lately though. Like I've done some introspection and realized that my facial expressions haven't matched what I really feel a lot of the time, so I decided to start smiling more. But it's almost never automatic; I need to think "oh I'm happy or interested it's time to smile."
This is too funny. There was also a big chunk of time in my childhood where my only friend was my cousin, who-wait for it-was also 2 years younger than me.
I got total 143, compensation 38, masking 49, assimilation 56. Welp. I’ve been researching autism for a while and I am still not sure if what I have is just social anxiety or not. I always recognized autistic people in the collectives I’ve been in, I just didn’t know they were autistic. I thought: "Oh, they are like me! Let’s form an alliance so we won’t get bullied!" But since both of us had social skills of a hermit, it didn’t go anywhere. I think I am probably just socially anxious, because if I were autistic, we would probably hit it off.
Total:155😬 57, 51, 47
I have been heavily struggling with imposter syndrome even though I have been researching ASD for over a year now and find new supporting evidence constantly.
Seeing the scores of other people such as these comments put my mind at ease but also further the feeling of I must be faking, which I believe stems from people in my life saying I'm too intelligent and functioning, which I know comes from their lack of understanding, but constantly hearing it and having no one to discuss this topic with I find myself struggling to accept and move forward.
I'm sorry for this rant, and want to say thank you for these videos💜🌻
I am off by one point on two of your scores and have the same assimilation score as you I see you nothing to be ashamed. I will just try to be clean and honest with others and see how it goes ❤❤ also don’t let people force you too do anything your really uncomfortable with
I’ve been questioning whether or not I may be autistic… these questions made me feel like I need to go to an evaluation because these are scarily accurate
Spending 30% of your focus making sure you look focused in a conversation 👀
Well, i can remember that for example i was always doing things like being full blown aware of my posture and mannerism while riding the bus, alone, when i was a teenager. When i went to school i had to take the bus and i was always "busy" doing this. I am 44 now and started to suspect myself to be autistic two years ago. So, much of the stuff i used to do got better, because i was apparently getting better at masking. It became a second nature. The eye-contact question really hit home as i do not really do that often without conscious effort. I am beyond feeling uncomfortable doing it, but it is something i have to remind myself of doing even today.
So yeah, the high scores i have correlate with deppression, which is true for me. Nice double whammy there. Anyway, great video, thanks for digging up this test to give me some mroe confidence in what is going on with me.
I self-diagnosed a few days ago and it is so affirming to hear someone share about these experiences that I have also lived with my whole life
I found people love to talk about what they are interested in and it's easier for me that way, and I learn something new generally.
And then hopefully they feel listened to and understood ... it brings harmony to the interaction.
If they hold opinions that do not resonate with me, I won't challenge or try to share my differences.
It will just reduce how often I interact with them, from listening to them realising we haven't got much in common.
As I've got older, I come to value my time and where I spend it .
After a lot of soul-searching, I'm living a life now with greatly reduced anxiety , and when I get triggered, I tell myself it will pass become more effective at self-soothing.
its taken many yrs to learn how to unwind and not walk round with replays in my head /or projecting future scenarios in my mind on reply.
I very fortunate my home environment is a place of comfort, I gave up watching the news a few years ago, and that was the start to being a lot happier without all the gloom and doom.
Although I enjoy CZcams, I'm not much on social media
which has helped me get off the merry-go-round of chasing my feelings / reactions in vicious circles
I got 97, and was diagnosed as a child. I think the fact I didn't really understand masking was what got me my early diagnosis, but I find it hard to connect with other autistic women because of it. I don't really find myself altering or being overly conscious of my behaviour, but I put more focus on what I'm saying and how I come across based on that. I'm "so autistic" that when I'm in the moment, it doesn't even really occur to me that people could be judging me based on my body language or facial expressions because instead I have to focus my energy on auditory processing and how I should respond.
It's a pretty eye opening test, at least to the extent I was masking. Did the cat-q recently and got 144 with 50 comp, 50 mask and 44 assim, that prompted me to go through more of the tests on the site.
Your comments about whistling causing "anger/panic" and that it "goes straight through" you were so relatable, except for me it's whispering. For me it's less related to volume and more about tonal quality and proximity. "It makes me want to remove my skin" is how I usually describe the overall effect. Dudes hoping to achieve a "makes me want to remove my clothes" situation with *ugghhh* "sexy whispering" were likely very disappointed.
I am puzzled by this hammering on this whole idea of "appearing relaxed". In my whole life I have never received a comment about my body language or facial expressions or anything like that being weird; I don't remember ever being told I appeared anxious or nervous or whatever the comment is that causes people to monitor the 'relaxedness' of their body language.
For me the comments have always been about things I said, and the thing I mask is the things I want to say. During a conversation, what I'm doing, the whole time, is weighing whether the things I'm thinking are worth saying, whether the other person may interpret them as insults or something, whether the other person may just be uninterested (I can't stand the idea of starting a conversation the other person isn't interested in because I hate being stuck in conversations where the other person is doing that and not being able to tell them that I'm not interested because that's rude, but also being unable to steer the conversation in a different direction without appearing rude, not being able to find another subject to move on to because *I don't know if the other person may be uninterested*), trying to find a more acceptable/normal/non-insulting way of saying the things I want to say and often throwing them out when I can't find any.
"have a lovely day" did a little chuckle to myself thinking "she went a bit offbcript there" really interesting! didnt know there was a tool / questionnaire for masking specifically. this one seems really good
I love how you have blossomed just by knowing more about yourself!❤
I took the quiz before watching to make sure I wasn’t parroting you but we got hung up on the same details like having learned by fumbling around as opposed to research and awareness of others impressions of me. I’m male and got a 153, which I suppose makes me an anomalous anomaly
i got 151. we scored so high i don't even think it's about autism at this point
Diagnosed before the age of three… this checks out, and it feels surprisingly good to see others if our breed, I didn’t have really anyone else like me in my social circles growing up, and these behaviors traits are spot on descriptions for the most part, until the performance question, I somehow am extroverted as well so I enjoy putting on the show most of the time
I love how confident you are with you autism. I re-did the test now after about 9 months from my diagnosis/first time and the score is lower! I had it almost maxed out now im only 15% above male average!
I am wondering if masking is more prominent when undiagnosed .. you indicate that maybe diagnosis helps lift those personal expectations that swamp our social circumstances
I interpreted question #10 (I need the support of other people in order to socialize) in a completely different way than you did. I leaned more toward a positive response simply because, when I start talking, people may literally need to stop me from talking (being auDHD means I can talk non-stop, even without leaning into my special interests) but I will rarely be the one to initiate a conversation. So, to me, that meant that I do need the support of other people in the sense that I need them to be the ones to take the first step to engage with me.
Okay I think my favourite thing about your videos, beside the perfect black fringe (omg you're so pretty btw) is seeing footage of you bouncing around. Your child-self is adorable flapping and turning in circles
great video! i took the test, then went down the apparently very autistic rabbit hole of taking a bunch of autism tests to find out tf is going on with my brain, and ive concluded imma go see a psychologist, cause all the tests said i was autistic, which is probably a sign-
This test definitely helped me understand that I based my entire personality (in front of friends) off the always-smiling main character of stories I read. I did this because everyone always loved them unconditionally within 2 secs flat. You learn something new everyday, ig
Ooh the greetings story triggered a memory: I was working at a supermarket, and I had the task of bringing the waste to another supermarket to recycle. Apparently I just waltzed in without saying hello and the lady gave me an earful. I cried for half an hour because being yelled at and criticised was something I could not bear at the time. In between sobbing I said to her "It's not y-your fault, I had a hard week" 😢
I took it before watching and got 135, with 55 compensation, 41 masking, and 39 assimilation 🥶 explains A Lot...I am also diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder...
I would have been nice if the test included other types of masking, like monitoring your body (voice, movements, etc.) and the dissonance between your feelings and what you show, especially when you feel panicked but you just stay neutral on the outside.
My boyfriend is autistic and I'm often the one explaining to him what he's masking because he's been doing it unconsciously for so long 😅
I heard someone say once that "what neurotypical people do automatically, I have to do manually"
17:33 that question is exactly why i started using social media so much, its like a free study of the human experience without having to experience it first hand aka embarrass myself like dammmnn my brain is frying with all the realizations
I know I'm late to comment on this but I've just found your channel and am doing some binge watching. When you talked about watching yourself in zoom meetings and checking how your expression looks I nearly cried! My whole life I've been called vain for looking at myself rather than others if there's a shiny surface nearby because how do you explain that you're so desperately trying to look normal that you're look at yourself to check that your face/body/hands are doing the right thing. I get so embarrassed on online calls that the other participants will notice I'm staring at myself and adjusting my face that I spend 90% of the meeting telling myself to relax and not look at the screen... thank you for the validation and sorry for the rant!!
when you spoke about the thought process behing recognising facial expressions you BLEW my mind... i never realised that i always try to imagine what might have happened for a person to make such an expression...
Anger panic is the best description I ever heard for the feeling sensory overload feels like.
Like stop your whistling is gonna make me go coocoo bananas. I don’t wanna hurt anyone but I kinda want to make you not have the ability to do it ever again for your whole life. But I like to whistle. Only I am allowed (I know my brain is unreasonable so that’s why I ignore it)
79- apparently lower than the neurotypical average. 😮 (Not diagnosed with ASD but I was wondering if I was masking traits.)
But even if I'm apparently not masking much, this was still really helpful.
And it's also pretty eye-opening to learn just how much the rest of the world apparently is acting!
That CAT-Q test really needs to specify if the questions relate to interactions with strangers or people I know well. OF COURSE I act completely different with the (few) people I'm comfortable with, and everyone else. Always assumed this was severe social anxiety and self-consciousness, which I've had from a very young age.
I will be surprised if you don't have 100k subscribers by the end of next year.
Keep it up!
That's so kind!
@@imautisticnowwhat Yeah, you're blowing up, sister! :)
@@imautisticnowwhat My prediction is basically guaranteed now. It'll be a 100k subscriptions in no time. You're doing such great work! I'm glad you decided to start this channel. It's clear you have a lot to offer, and you've helped many people. Keep it up!
I relate to a lot of the underlying things, and I'm sure I'm autistic, but I'm so socially unaware that it never occurred to me to try to mask or try to copy others. I was okay with being weird.
Oh my Lord, I had someone ask me if my sister was my best friend, and other people were like "that's mean," and I didn't even know that could be mean.
Oh my goodness:( I'm a whistler, like probably on a professional level...I'm learning guitar, but my lips and tongue are my instrument that comes natural to me...not just silly jingles or doing it for a dog. It's like a dead talent...and there's probably people out there who are better, but I'm the best I've personally ever heard, any melody, beat, lead, mimic, I can do it all. I have a full range and a few different vobratos and techniques. Strangers usually think it is a cellphone or recorded song, when I randomly so it in public, then they'll be in disbelief that it's me. I started copying my dad, who was very musical, when I was a baby. Idk how old, but I could sit up on my own. It's one of my coping mechanisms. When I overthink things or stress, and don't know what to do, I'll either flow with whatever song I'm thinking of or compliment and music already playing. Most people tell me it's so beautiful and nice....but I've had a couple people who hate it. I'm so sorry it triggers you a bit. That makes me kinda sad. I need to be more self conscious of it. I can also do a few pretty bird songs hehehe.
I didn’t think I practiced facial expressions, but then totally related when you spoke about the zoom calls. In fact I relate to almost everything you say, but I’m old now and have learned a lot about coping and don’t really care about approval from others as much anymore.
YES the Zoom calls for sure!
In social situations (like parties, back when I went to parties) I rarely stay in one place. I thought I was really extroverted because I was always moving between people, but now I realise I was compensating and hiding that I had no idea what to do after "hi, how are you, how are your kids/job/life etc" and so would need to move to the next person. I am now 38 and feel no need to 'prove' myself anymore, so I don't even go to parties in the first place, or just sit with my husband or one person I feel really comfortable with and don't talk to anyone else.
With learning social skills from TV etc, what I tended to notice was that I would accidentally emulate whatever I was watching (down to putting on accents, then getting accused of mocking accents - ops!), so I always act like whatever I am watching at the time, and since I stopped watching dramatised TV and started watching documentaries about things I am interested in I am less able to manage socially, because I don't have something to copy, but none of this was conscious - it wasn't until I started learning about it all that I thought... oh, is that not how people do things?
Sorry the edits was because I was trying to figure out how to do a carriage return!
Also, I scored 123, 45 compensation, 43 masking and 35 assimilation. I think the last one reflects that I don't really bother to socialise outside my trusted people very often anymore!
Legit with the low key looking mad when you're not making your face do happy face, lol. My partner, when I'm focusing on a task, asks so often if I'm angry, and I'm like' "What? No, I don't now what you're talking about, I'm just trying to get this thing done."
I indentify myself so much on what you said, like having a voice in your head saying "YOU SHOULD TALK TO THEM, A NORMAL PERSON WOULD TALK TO THEM" kkkkkkk but I don't do most of the time
The cat Q is seriously flawed in several respects. The obvious screamer is in screening those with a co-occurrence of ADHD. The questions in this test pre-suppose a level of working memory, a lack of scatter, and the effective executive function needed to, as the test calls it, "practice" or "copy" the body language, posture, and traits. This adhd brain is too scattered to really relate to the questions in the cat q because it is using the presumptive terms it uses. An interesting study would be to take a group with dual diagnosis and have them take the test unmedicated followed by taking it after getting a comfortable dose regimen going
Yay, I finally scored well on a test ...... I downloaded it and it's going on the wall.
As a boy. As I got older smiling all the time was eventually called out as weird. Then towards the end of high school I got called out for looking angry all the time. Figuring out what I am supposed to be at times is hard even now many many years later.
yay I agreee so much with the idea of their being pressure to talk to people instead of wanting to in social situations, unless its close friends and I actually feel relaxed (rarely).
I'm not diagnosed autistic, but somehow my instagram feed shows me more and more content from autistic people and I relate quite a lot, and now YT starts to do that too... So I start to question that.
Did the test, total 128; compensation 33, Masking 42 and Assimilation 53.
As a chronic depressive person with social anxiety, in my case, high assimilation implies lower well being.
I moved on to the raads-r test and got 141.
So somewhere between that: 130 The mean score of autistic people; strong evidence for autism.
160 Very strong evidence for autism.
I just have no clue where I could go here in Germany to have an real diagnosis, also I'm not sure it would be 100% accurate, they couldn't talk to my parents (as they live in another country and don't speak German) and there might be some incomprehension due to the fact that German is my second foreign language, so I don't always have the right words to express myself.
This seems to be aimed only at people who really want to appear sociable.
I know I have no instincts to rely on in social situations, but I also have no drive to mask it. Like, I'll put conscious effort into eye contact, posture, my facial expressions and trying to keep the conversation going, but only on very rare special occasions, like dating and job interviews. The rest of the time, I feel no desire to try to appear more approachable to others. I dont owe it to anyone to put in that effort. If it makes people uncomfortable, that's not my concern, I feel uncomfortable around them too, and neither they have any obligation to manage my emotions nor I have any obligation to manage theirs.
Indeed, if people are as uncomfortable around me as I am around them, that reduces the likehood of additional chit-chat beyond the minimum necessary for whatever reason we're interacting in the first place. And I dont remember anything good ever having come out of such additional bonus interactions.
Feeling "anger panic" at whistling! 😂 Such a good description, for me electronic whirring.
i really like how you explained your thought processes, and i also could relate to a lot of things you said. i'm not autistic, but i took the test and got 140. so i don't know what to think about that lol
Me too. I am not diagnosed but I have been researching for two years now. I really think I am but I also don’t want to be one of those people who self diagnose. Idk
@@kaylanek1 self diagnosis is a step towards a proper diagnosis and you know what to look for when looking back at your experience, nothing wrong with self diagnosis if the end goal is to actually get a proper diagnosis at some point 👍
@@reain Thank you. One day I pray I will get the chance to
@reain since there can often be reasons an official diagnosis could be detrimental, as long as a person uses things they learn from the autistic community to make life easier to live then they are achieving the goal.
@@kaylanek1Formal diagnosis isn't something everyone is able to access, afford, or sometimes it just might not be suitable in their particular circumstances - and that's okay.
If you want access to accommodations, to particular services or programmes, or official recognition of some kind, in most countries you need a formal diagnosis.
In addition, formal diagnosis can help many autists (especially older ones with long years/decades of struggle, distress, rejection, isolation, poor mental health, etcetera) to feel validated, and to begin a process of self-acceptance, understanding, and kindness. Then, too, it *can* (but doesn't always) make it easier for those around us to (a) accept our diagnosis is real, and (b) begin to understand why we are as we are.
For the above reasons, formal diagnosis can be a very positive and effective step to take.
However, not everyone is in a situation where that's possible. Perhaps they live in an area where there are no diagnosticians. Perhaps they cannot afford the fees, or the cost of travelling to where there are diagnosticians. Perhaps waiting lists are immensely long, and they're still waiting. Perhaps they have sought diagnosis in the past and were refused (as I was around 2002) because I was female and 'too old'. The diagnostician wasn't 'comfortable' diagnosing adults. A little earlier my brother was told he couldn't be autistic because he was in a relationship.
It's even possible that seeking an assessment might be risky for them in terms of educational or employment opportunities, discrimination, social stigma, risk of abuse, or something else. Some people lives in places where being a known autist may expose you to worse than social stigma or harassment.
So please, people, remember that for some individuals self-diagnosis is the only diagnosis they can get. Many online communities for autists accept self-diagnosis for those reasons.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey, wherever it may take you.
I scored 120 total, so well above the threshold and roughly in line with other autistics. I feel like if I had taken this test ten years ago or more, I would have scored much higher. I'm much more comfortable with myself than I was in school, so I don't feel the need to mask as much. Overall, this was an interesting thing to look at, and I'll definitely share this with some of my fellow neurodivergent friends and family
@Mp how does this in any way relate to my comment?
@Maximumevent710 good for you, but those things are 100% unrelated. You can't "cure" autism with it without herbs buddy.
I always watched how people on TV and in movies reacted with each other so I could learn normal responses.
I also got Total:147! Compensation subtotal:45 ; Masking subtotal:52 ; Assimilation subtotal:50
Bro, what? My bond with my cousin is gold, I'd never entertain someones being disrespectful about my friendship with my cousin. I think is that they're just sad they don't have a strong bond like that.
Someone tried to "joke" about us thinking sweet home alabama, and we ended up putting him in his place by using the methods of making someone feel uncomfortable and cringe at what they just did. We gave him the disgusted glares and told him "That's f*cking disgusting and not funny. What is wrong with you?" In a bold strong and controlled voice in a scolding manner. It was highly effective, he stopped and you could tell he was reevaluating his life choices right then and there. This was during middleschool.
I'm going through autism and ADHD assessment at the age of 35 snd just took the CAT-Q - my results were really high, a total of 163. I think my autism was never noticed because I'd already learned to mask so well before I even started school!