Is Finding 'THE ONE' A Myth?
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
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Soul mate. Partner for life. The One?! All are buzzwords thrown around in the realm of relationships when trying to find, pursue or maintain a partner. We let you know our thoughts on whether 'the one' actually exists. Let us know how you approach the high sought after semi-mythical term ;)
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FELICIA:
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ALLEN:
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DAN
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YI
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Mia made a great point about needing to be in the right place in your life to meet "the one". You need to be comfortable and confident about who you are as a person before bothering to even seek a relationship with someone else.
i don't know, maybe "THE ONE" does exist, but i'm just aiming for 'CLOSE ENOUGH'.
Romanke if you're serious about the one your with, and you're to face life side by side with them throughout all hardships, they are THE ONE.
True so true
:') when you haven't even found one, let alone *the* one
lifewithmel i feel you😭😭
lifewithmel me too!!!
Me three!!!
Exactly what I'm thinking!
lifewithmel spot on!!
your right Dan. personal change is the embodiment of progress..and by all means change is good.
Who else has been a single Pringle all their life? 🙋🏻🙋🏻🙋🏻
Felicia is incredible and a gem - why can't all girls be this down-to-earth, intelligent and sincere...
Cosmic Resonance Got all that from a 16min video😕?
Yup. Maybe its just the circles I'm in. You know many girls like her? Intro to me please LOL
Funny thing about "the one" concept. it was said that everyone has many soul mates. That soul mates were only meant to help each other become more of who they are meant to be, to help them grow as individuals throughout their time together (from an extroverted perspective, b/c extroverts cant really "see themselves clearly" and so they look for what they are "missing in themselves" in other ppl - aka their soul mates - to help bring those traits out in each other and learn self acceptance through "loving" the other person; where as introverts date less b/c they are better at "seeing themselves" and are better adept at going though and achieving personal evolution on their own then their counterparts - they get the whole "its not 2 halves become one its 2 WHOLE ppl become one", so while they may not date many ppl, the relationships they do tend to get into, provided they're not forced into it, etc, are more fulfilling and successful b/c their not trying to use the other person to complete themselves) and also to help them to understand and accept how they are in relationships, how they relate to ppl, what they want in a mate, etc. ~~~~~~~~~ ALL leading them to what is called their "twin flame" which is the ACTUAL one for them. BUT to be drawn to this person, which is said to only happen once you are a whole person or as whole as you can become in this life in equal to the other and they are themselves as well, you have to learn ALL THAT YOU CAN from all the soulmates you get with, or you will only keep attracting soulmates, and never your twin flame...and its also said that this is why divorce rates are so high, b/c ppl get married to their soulmates and not their twin flame b/c they are just so afraid of being alone, or cant handle being alone.
So really the question isnt something like "how do you see the one?" or something about a "list" its, "do you want to find the one b/c you are lonely and/or cant handle being alone, OR b/c you are content (happy) with being single but accept that if you were with the right one it would make your life "happIER" instead of "happy" and until then you'll just enjoy your life?" ~ This is why they say that "when you stop looking you will find it, until then you'll simple be lost, finding nothing but endings or heartache." and "if you seek you do not know, and if you know you do not seek." (that last one being my fav)
I've always said I wouldn't change myself for anyone, because I want them to like me. I had never thought that changing yourself is not changing your identity, but growing with that person. That was an eye opening for me, thaks for the great advice!!
I really enjoyed this video! I agree with what you all said, and will definitely remember those things in my own relationships.
Mia, you have a lovely smile and I love your shirt :)
Some things you shouldn't say when you know we're all able to see it
I don't agree delikadesa,
I first got onto this channel because I initially thought that it was all about introducing Chinese culture. What a surprise to find this topic! I think you guys ought to put this on a separate channel about relationships instead! I got married just last year when I was 38. Really wished that I had heard all the advice here then so that I wouldn't had to go through so much heartache before I finally met my wife. Thumbs up!
Thanks for sharing! I have had similar thoughts and I admire everyone's thoughtful answers to this topic!
The idea of 'THE ONE' is ridiculous to me, because there are 7 billion people in the world, and i find it hard to believe that only ONE out of that many people is perfectly compatible for me .
Suliat Lilly I sort of agree, but just to make you think I will argue. Maybe like they said we are combined by a string with our significant other and we are destined to be together. Like it's already planned out.
If *THE ONE* is not with me, why is it that we are still so close together after 30 years? We have so much to talk every day on our way to work and back, and still have lots to talk to each other at home.
Because you took the time and care to develop your relationship, not because you were meant to be together. And I don't think that makes your relationship any less special.
No.
I found her and she's fucking amazing. First love, lost my virginity to her, got married to her, and now we live in (relative) bliss...that is, when I'm not making mistakes and getting on her last nerve lol
My wife is married to me for 28 years and I never got on her nerve (and it is true, not bragging). When she loves (me) with her whole heart and her whole soul, there's nothing that could really unsettle her, short of being unfaithful, but of course I won't even risk trying that. I just want her to know that her judgment (in choosing me) had never been wrong.
love your vids keep it up! especially deep discussions like these haha
Great advice as always. Love the channel
Mia is my one and only .....since I saw her for the first time in one of the videos ..love you Hermosa!!
Been heart broken twice.....I'm afraid to look anymore so now I'm just being me
Soushi Miketsukami keep ur head up. in this current society, we have to be tough inside to protect ourselves from getting our heart broken. not too mention, ppl r so selfish and looking for perfection without trying to perfect themselves. im sure u did nothing wrong bro, a lot of us have been there. stay strong
KuriousKoopa Troopa
Thanks, Btw I'm a girl
Soushi Miketsukami oh I'm sorry XD then it must be harder for u, it's worse for girls than guys imo
KuriousKoopa Troopa
Trust me it hurts a lot
Soushi Miketsukami if you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know. I've never been in a relationship, but all my friends (yes, practically all) have been stuffed up by their gf's at one point or another. I can understand the pain
Guuuuuys, it was so deep, so wise.... I really enjoy it
Mia, you very cute and gentle
going through a rough breakup. this video couldn't have come at a more relevant time.
checkthisout3344 same
I believe you become "The One" through spending time and life together, and you grow together because you both put each other's happiness first. You become better friends and support each other no matter what. A soul mate will leave you if you don't treat them right, so both sides must make the effort to nourish the relationship.
I have commitment issues and I get bored VERY easily. As a result, I tend to just date casually.
I'm not opposed to finding the one and settling down one day but as of this very moment, not interested.
Hey Dan, welcome back!
as a person who's found the one, I agree with when they said growing into each other's "the one" is the most ideal way :3
Mia's single? So there's a chance?
Awesome video by the way.
I wonder if she's really, or just otgw doesn't wanna to lose subscribers who fantasize her as fantasy gf/waifu
I don't see any reason for her to lie. Even if she was in a relationship that wouldn't stop people from liking her. Most people, including myself, watch the videos for cool information about Asia and just cool stuff in general. What they look like is only secondary to the content.
NO T H O T S not if you're asian.
NO T H O T S there's no chance. sorry bro
is there like an online application or something?
Nice video. Always so sunshine personalities. Good for you folks.
I've had my heart broken by one-sided love. I'm afraid of expressing my feelings because I don't want to experience that kind of rejection again. It's gotten to the point where I've given up on finding love and would rather stay isolated and try to focus on making myself a better person.
Dan is on point with this stuff
"The One" in my opinion, is someone that balances your personality. Hopefully, if you two can appreciate your differences your relationship will grow through your experiences as a couple. Most importantly, initially you must have a similar worldview.
great talk. more like this please :D (how about more delving into things learned from personal experiences?)
practical real philosophy right here ^^ dang I love your channel
I believe that theres a "The one" for each and everyone of us, but in most cases it's followed by "that got away"
Great convo
I don't believe in "the one", maybe that'll change because I've never been in a relationship but my grandparents (on both sides) being divorced, my parents aren't but my mum told me that she doesn't feel that much love for my dad anymore, she's with him cause my father is a hardworking and family oriented man so she just feels bad, they've been their firsts & they're married for 19 years now (I'm 19 too). It's just that I can't imagine being with one person forever no matter how much you complete eachother. There are so many people who can make you feel really comfortable and you can grow as a person with them by just being friends, friends can be the ones as well! Even the closest and longest friendship can fall apart after you change together and realise that both of you have different interests actually, you know what I mean?
(Sorry it's so long lol)
Yes my mom told me she found my dad when she stopped looking, just decided to live her life and not worry about getting married. She was considered an old maid at 27 back in the 50s
Yes the "One" is out there!!! I met a man and we had so much in common. He asked me 3 times before I said yes and I finally married him. After 8 wonderful years he died. Now after 5 years of being single, I'm going to start dating again and find out if if there is another "One".
Great Video! just subscribed :)
it's funny coz my parents meet and started dating like in 2 days and got married in 2 weeks and now there 45 but they still have the lovey romantic thing about them and when I asked them how they knew they were soul mates they said it was just this sort of this instinct like they are meant to be...
badass Anika My grandparents were in the same boat. They met on a Thursday, and got marries the following Thursday. They had 10 kids, and were together until my grandma past away six years ago. Sometimes you just know. :)
SavyCakes yeah your right ...I mean you can't put an explanation or a set of steps for everything sometimes people need to just let go
Maybe 'the one' concept does exist. I met this new international student in my school when I was 14/15. I thought he was interesting/ something special about him. It's now our 8th year anniversary been through high school, college and medical school with him beside me =) So don't lose hope=)
I used to believe in that myth when I was younger, but now I don't believe it anymore. I think "the one" doesn't exist, you only need to marry the person who you think is a good option for you.
It's weird lol I'm in a relationship right now and I just prayed about it and I happened to stumble on this video so I'm happy thank you for the great advice :} I also love what you said about websites that say 11 signs he's the one we all know it's bs yet we can't help but read it anyways XD lol
It gets old if one person is giving all the time. I think is the trick to recognize it is bothering you, talk about it and if nothing changes move on.
Mia, you can make mistakes with me if you want. I'm here for you.
So this isn't about finding Jet Li?
ACN3388 lol I saw that movie XD
ACN3388
😂
Mia you are my dream "ONE" if I could meet for once!!! Huge fan!!!😍😘❤💕
you three are my favorites from OTGW 😊
Great Video
The *One* is right here!
"The One" is somebody who is imperfectly perfect for you...
it's not change it's that they inspire you to become better
I 100% agree with DAN
What a great way to find the one
The one, is not actually one person. But more of a fit, a strong emotional connection. You have to be open. There must be strong physical attraction in both directions, there must be reciprocity. Relationships are complex and complicated. Communications, values, personalities, conflict resolution all play a big part of being of the one. Sacrifice is not a word I would use for the one. Also there always a slight imbalances in relationships. It's hard to change. We let trivial things get in the way, hey life is 99% trivialities.
Dan, top notch, quality bloke. I want to be besties
I have difficulty believe the concept of "the one" is anything but a myth; at least from my experience.
Hey Mia... I'm "THE ONE" for you!
Very good.
I think there are certain basic things we should expect in a relationship but I think people in the U.S. sometimes have an over inflated amount of expectations. I am divorced but it was a deal breaker and it was out of my control. I think had there not been the deal breaker like the big elephant in the room there could have been a good chance of things working out quite fine but that is after some growing and understanding that we don't have to like everything our partner does and vice versa.
Great Video
+
I believe there are 2 types of the ONE
1A - is someone that is exactly like you, that person is on the same page as you and have very similar interests
1B - is the opposite of you, this one will compliment you, whatever your weakness is that their strength and vice versa.
I will define the "ONE" for each of you.
Dan - Quiet girl work best. Since he's the "one" who in charge of all conversation either it right or wrong.
Felicia - Not just any chef but has to be iron chef. He doesn't need to carry a conversation but at least know where to start "one". She of course would be the boss in a relationship period, if you don't like it leave.
Mia - A mature handsome well dress and must have a creative mind. No! not dirty mind. She doesn't like to be loves so it make that dude a lucky "one".
Dan's concept at the beginning got me shocked and hat down. I can't agree with Dan anymore. Dan's really buddy to everyone. His concept sounded like very high reach but that makes so much sense in a way. We can't be so picky. Let it happen naturally. The question is how to determine that's THE ONE when it comes.
All 3 of you cute people have brought up many things that would go really days, if not years, to talk about. 2nd Q is Would THE ONE mean MARRIAGE? You guys should do a skit in a funny way. I remembered there was one done called "before and after marriage". Thanks for sharing.
Marriage to women means security and the seal of the commitment of the love. Why not give the woman you love that sense of security?
well, i would have to agree with you if both would be take each other as soul mates willing to go thru all challenges and happiness together. Thanks for your golden words.
I completely agree with Dan. You won't find The One. The One finds you.
how about this?
Predetermine or / to be determined?
Are you seeking a doll that has the qualities you like?
Or?
Does their qualities take a place in your heart?
Mia you will find the one. just don't have a high expectation a guy. I lowered mine and I found a great girl and I was not expecting that girl was going to match me but we both have many beliefs that we agree on and that makes it the one.
If they share and also love the same things that u love , music, movies , work , kindness happy personality, even temped , not selfish.
Mia is a cat, a cute Asian cat.
hahaha I see what you mean.
Mia is Single???.. wow what a surprise
Dan makes me wanna watch Lost again.
daniel dae kim lookalike
I feel like there are too many people in the world for just "the one". There could be multiple people in the world who could be "the one". I believe that once you find one of them you should stop looking for anyone else.
What about when or if love fails? Is he or she no longer the one? Sadly so many couples give up at this point instead of rekindling love.
Oh to be young and think you've figured it out.....that includes you three ☺️
certain personalities match then factor in life experiences that overlap then factor in financial status and physical attractiveness this is my version of the one, you just shop around for a personality that matches then once youve singled out that matching personality you just want to have meshing the other things i mentioned wahla you then have found the one then if it fails you refind this personality that fits or find a personality that maches (their are only so many human personalities) and match the rest of the stuff i mentioned simply as drinking half a pint of vodka after work and watching yt vids then replying as you slowly realize how fucked up your getting while then realizing you may have takien too muxh but then you realize everything is awesome and you feel nothing but that hahahahaja
Dear OTGW panel, my cat is destroying my life, should I get a dog instead?
How about a baby bunny?!
Meh, they're too tasty! :op
On a serious note, some people marry a virtual character (from a dating sim) or their pet. I think most people would consider this abnormal, but let's not forget that homosexuality was considered abnormal 60+ years ago. What do you guys think, can non-humans be "the one" or is that too "abnormal"?
Definitely imho.
Dan's mic annoys me so much lol
LOL oops!
Ramadhika Satria be vee rgydrWd
Bruce Lee might day "Don't think! FEEEL!" on this one? I feel like that's the answer to this one..
perhaps I can help the OTGW panel a bit by revealing some of my own culture's ideology n philosophy. we have a phrase which is a sort of guide or way 4 u 2 no if ure truly "in love" or just in love w/da "idea" of being in love. when in fact, wat u may b feeling is just LUST 4 da person. we referee it as someone having "stars in their eyes." meaning, dat one has or sees dat person as perfect n not seeing da person as theyre truly r. when one has gotten RIDE of those "stars" from their eyes n sees them as they r, if wat they see n feel afterwards they STILL like n love. then theres a stronger chance dat u r indeed "in love." then we have ANOTHER belief why u may NOT b w/dat perfect person (or da one ur suppose 2 b with): 1. TIME. because da timing 4 u 2 b 2gether wasn't right, n so, time separated u. now, whether or not time will bring u back 2gether later in da future is anyone's guess. but in my culture it usually NEVER happens. 2. U JUST DIDNT NO IT. n this may have 2 do w/either age or maturity level or personal growth as a person.
but da main key 2 any relationship is NEVER b inflexible or close-minded or compare them 2 previous exs. because da moment u do those things, everything u didn't like abt ur ex or da reason(s) u broke up w/them will manifest itself on2 ur current relationship. in other words, if ur current is joe n ur ex is james, joe suddenly is james in ur mind n NOT joe, because joe might do or say something dat REMINDS YOU of james. so ppl don't compare, just like how u hate it when ur mom or dad says u act just like uncle nick or aunt Susie or cousin molly.
my physical taste in women is different in every culture n every ethnicity. wat I might find attractive in one ethnicity, I might not like it in another ethnicity. but primarily wat keeps me attracted 2 a woman is how we connect 2 n understand each other.
Sorry for being nosy but who is Felicia dating? I don't see pics of him on her IG page
I'd like to be The One for Mia
For me you wont know if he or she is THE ONE until both of you grow old together. Then that will be the time you can say he/she's the one. get it? :)
Lets just say I live in an area where finding "The One" is difficult
Feli, u are the one. :D
How is Mia single??? Mia is so beautiful, I would think she has so many guys to choose from????!!!!
No, "the one", was there. xD
Mia is so darn cute! Can't believe she's single.
At what point should you give up looking for the one (or ANYone for that matter)? A year, 5 years, 20 years? Wouldn't it be better to just focus on something else to fill that gap (your career, hobbies, etc). If there is no one out there for you, why waste your time looking?
the one does meet the one, so u may find someone and instead of that person be the one u become the one to that person, whereas someone else is your one. so its circular
The one you marry is THE ONE
SweetPlain agreed 100%. more ppl need to think this way
And the one you divorce is chopped liver ?
Mia is single? Perhaps I'm the one...
lol funny how half the comments are "omg Mia is single"
I volunteer to take Mia on a date!
She's single?!...I can make her smile 24/7.
Soulmate is a myth.
Boy Felicia is smart
"The one" is a definitely a myth. We're compatible with different people at different stages of our lives. Not a whole lot of people, but not just one either. You'll have intuition with someone you're deeply compatible with, granted that you're not so infatuated with them that you won't listen to your own intuition. It takes a lot of honesty and some realism, and willingness to compromise. with your own notions of perfection when you start to notice less impressive things. Gotta look for "a good a person as you can hope for." And take a real look at things that go against the modern notion of romance. It's not bad to consider you long-term familial, religious, cultural, and financial compatibility. Because if you're not able to meet each other on those levels and build a good life, you won't have a lot of good potential to build on once initial infatuation dies down and you have to face together the various crises that come with being alive. We all change over time, and "the one" is someone who has the potential to change and grow with you in a mutually positive way.
Holy crap, how is Mia single?!
You might not find the one and as such don't pin your hopes only for the one, But live life and do what you want and if by chance comes then your lucky, most times you make do from what I have seen around me not so much the one.
There is no "one". There are simply people you have a mutual attraction with and people who you don't.
As a married woman, I will say NO, there is no such thing as some mystical magical "the one". The one you're meant to marry is the one with whom you are married. If you are not willing to selflessly put your spouse first, to love them and be loyal to them through both the joy and pain in life, to invest in the most important and valuable relationship in your life, then you shouldn't be with ANYONE.
The One has to be able bends spoons with their mind, able to jump from building top to building top and dodge bullets.
it is a MYTH! even though i am white, i love chinese women. i have looked 5 years for the one chinese lady. there is nothing and i am a great guy that actually would love just one woman. i can't even find ONE. any advice to just finding a one?
I don't believe in the one, because biologically speaking you are more than likely compatible with quite a few members of the opposite sex, however for love and marriage I guess it's important to find someone who shares the same beliefs and values with you so you won't wanna kill each other 5 years later.