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Hello, nice to know u're feeling better, i want to leave comment to ask since i feel the channel is talkin about derealization in these last videos, if (and idk if i could be one sole video ) is possible to know of articles, channels or books that talk about this topic Again, thanks for your videos

Thanks for making this invaluable content! Very interesting to me that the opposite has happened for my system in that when we are going through that all too familiar "dark night of the soul" processing trauma, the system SUPERIMPOSES the past abusers faces onto the face of the safe person outside the body. Its surreal and disturbing but that only happens when we're able and willing to face the fears. Its been quite a healing journey ❤

Changing how things are remembered? I've been thinking of this a lot, can memories be symbolic, but real at the same time? So it an alter dissociated that they were a dog kept in a kennel, with all the dog things, it doesn't mean that was literally the case, it could mean they were trapped, though, and that feeling could feel really real Derealization is a constant thing for us, it doesn't really help us though usually, it kinda just freaks us out. 😅 - Michael and um... others I guess lol Thanks for this video, really great way to start the day 👍 😊

Great video! I noticed this happening within my system but I didn't realize it was an aspect of derealization--I had more or less chalked it up to it being how the system would "encode" surroundings, but it sounds like that actually falls more into the derealization umbrella. Always get great insights from your videos. Thanks so much!

Thank you for all you do. ♡♡♡

Glad you are feeling better if not a bit snuffley. As I have said before, I nearly always get an ah hah that makes sense moment during your videos. Today was when you mentioned an alter and the Video camera. When dealing with a very difficult face to face person I would go in to the situation or room “being videoed as a training video that could be played back later in a safe space. Watching it back viewers can give feedback on how well it went” Thank you so much Dr Mike ❤

Glad to know you are feeling better. The summer allergies stink. Be well 💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💙👊

thank you so much, it's always really exciting to see a new video of yours

Ty!

I would love to talk about our months-long episode of heavy DR. It was traumatizing for me bc the shame I felt around it all and the anxiety i felt bc I suddenly was so heavily detached from the world and everything seemed so far away. I felt like, I was experiencing this life so different than others, I had no emotions for my beloved ones anyone, kinda nothing mattered anymore. My mind was quiet and black for months. Only doubting everything, my whole life, all the disorder, the trauma etc, I also forgot how my life was before. I couldn't remember anything. Sometimes there where memories but as soon as they came they went away with me doubting myself only more. I didn't talk to anyone in this phase. I didn't know how. Bc I had also no words. Only this feeling of a barrier between me and everything and everyone. Also myself. Anxiety all day. All night. Shame. So much shame. But I started working in this time again bc financial existential problems.. And idk but I never worked this long in a row without calling off, I was super consistent and worked really much. Nothing mattered anymore. Only working (bc I couldn't stand this chaos of feelings alone at home..). And atm I Dont remember when and how it stopped. Now we look back at this time and call it "system crash" bc it was like everything collapsed into itself and the mind was quiet. So quiet. I remember, when I started to have thoughts again, like normal daily thoughts it was so heavy and hard to deal with bc it drained me. I Really had no thoughts at all. The only moments when I had thoughts inside my mind, where, when the feelings of shame and guilt and doubt came over me. It mostly lead to panic and more DR. It was also like ping pong. DR=anxiety Anxiety =DR. Maybe someday I will come back to this comment and write more. I need a pause. But yeah, I really had a big and long DR episode with dissociative amnesia and stuff. (with DID diagnosis in general )

Thank you 💙💞👊👊

Thank you for this. 💜

I hope you recover quickly 🪿💐

Hello Dr. Lloyd. My counselor went on maternity leave a couple months ago. I watch your videos as a way to help myself between sessions and now that I have not seen her for a couple months. I have DID. I have severe trauma in childhood that parts of me can access some of it but came up in hospitalizations. I still deal with dissociative amnesia between parts and most of the time I can not access details of my childhood. I also had abuse in my adult years because it is only recently I have had enough healing to recognize some red flags and develop some boundaries. Do all people with DID have inner worlds they can access? I do not always. I also go between times of denial that I have DID and other times when I have huge swathes of amnesia. I just turned 50. Thank you for your videos. I live in America so I wish I had the resources to be there to be treated by you. No matter how hard I work, I can not heal myself. I have been working with my counselor over a year and I keep struggling. THank you

Thanks for this video. I am late diagnosed autistic (aged 38 at the time of diagnosis). I also have family history of abuse and survived suicide attempt at 20. My life has been hugely impacted. I am almost 50 and just recently had CPTSD diagnosis. I have been on disability benefits for last 15 years and spent 30 years in and out of mental health services. I am awaiting therapy and have very mixed feelings due to past negative experiences. I did not settle in nursery or school and was taken out of nursery. I relate a lot to havings parts of my identity feel like they're floating in out of space or barley existing. I have had 'out of body' experiences since childhood and in adult years and episodes of psychosis. I relate a lot to derealization and depersonalization and feeling out of control/possessed at times with different personality states. There definately needs to be more education and help for us. I'm so glad of videos such as these.

"The goal of Trauma therapy is to bit by bit lift all of those weights out of that rucksack and start handing them over to the therapist, who can take them away and process them and deal with them in a really structured way." Great video, I found the video very interesting and thought that you covered this subject in a concise and easy to understand way.

Thank you

For me, I believe my trauma comes from my father. Unfortunately, a lot of autistic people are destined to be traumatised from birth because at least one of their parents also has autism and this means they're less likely to be supportive. My father is completely emotionally blunt - technically present in my life, but we barely say "hello" every day, yet we live in the same house. As my dissociative PTSD's biggest symptom is disconnection (particularly the inability to talk to and feel love) from others, I just know intuitively this comes from how I was raised. Unfortunately, even if you have one very stable parent, as I fortunately do, this doesn't seem to be enough to counter the attachment style you have with your autistic and/or unstable parent. This is especially the case when you 'collect' traumatic experiences over time, as is inevitable in life as an autistic person. Social rejection, eating disorders, being especially prone to abusers, social isolation, being fired and mistreated at work, feeling on the edge of society, constantly ruminating over past rejection/gelotophobia, unhealthy attachments with other emotionally unavailable men like my father, feeling especially distant if all your friends/loved ones are also neurodivergent and experiencing the same disconnection you are, etc. People don't help, either - even those who would pat themselves on the back for encouraging an 'inclusive' workplace actually act like you're an alien when you're nervous socially (even if this is your first time speaking in a meeting and it would be normal for an NT person). I've had people point out how I have a knee-jerk tendency to look at the floor after making eye contact momentarily, or my people-pleasing. There is a tendency to make you hyperaware of (obvious) trauma symptoms and then say "don't worry, you don't have to be like that here." Yet, we autistic people know that this means "you need to stop that in the next month or we'll fire you for being odd." Everything feels very impossible right now in every aspect of life. Thank you for sharing this video; it's greatly appreciated. I'm so glad that someone isn't afraid to make so-called 'generalisations'. When I talk about autism, I tend to get the "we're all on the spectrum somewhere" line. Making generalisations can be progressive sometimes, instead of ignoring a pattern. I've noticed that many people who seek assisted dying for psychological reasons are autistic (and women with eating disorders & SA trauma). I don't think this is coincidental. I would like to come back to this comment in e.g. 3 years, 5 years, etc. to update how I'm getting on. I hope to look back on this period as a terrible time that I survived. I'm mostly over my SA (the feelings of worthlessness and wondering 'why me'), so why do I still dissociate. It is a mystery to me. It's been 10 months of hell. I hope everyone here gets better.

Impossible to not be afraid to ask for help when all authority figures just want to keep using violence against me for the things i believe.

Very easy to understand with your explanation. 👏👏👏🙏

Great video, despite being unwell. Best wishes for a speedy recovery

I've struggled with dissociation for a long time (diagnosed with bpd since 2021) and the general understanding did make sense to me. I was also able to apply some of the characteristics of dissociation onto my own struggles but they've never been as clearly described and explained as with the structural dissociation theory. To me it always seemed like you're either dissociating or not, but I've always felt like the dissociation is sort of like tides that rise and fall but are always somewhat present while I am trying to function or in a complete freeze state. Describing it as ANP and EP is literally bringing me to tears as well as the characteristics you described in the end, because it's putting what I am experiencing into words that one can work with. I want to thank you for this well structured and informing video, I feel like you've unlocked a whole new part of the puzzle that is my brain for me. Now I can try and put the pieces together that were in the dark for so long, and that always gives me a sense of power while feeling so helpless most of the time. Thank you so, so much for that.

Could you please explain the difference between "distinct" and "less distinct" personality states? How to distinguish them?

How do I handle an angry alters of a loved one who blames me for abuse from other people? And they hear ( voices telling them terrible things about me)? Sometimes they can ignore it, and sometimes they believe it.

Could you make a video on how memories of trauma are repressed in dissociative people and non-dissociative people (PTSD)?

I'm nearly 70 and only just got diagnosed with CPTSD (during a stay in England) after decades of struggling to be understood (I live in Germany). This video really hit home because I feel I'm too old to really feel the hope you talk about but I do feel helped by the sincere and knowledgeable way you present these videos and it feels you are describing my childhood and life so far. Thankyou so much.

❤

Aww, they're so cute!

Thanks for another great video, Dr Lloyd! I think it's helped me to realise some related matters too. I went to therapy for 3 years after being diagnosed with CPTSD (I wasn't diagnosed with DID/OSDD, but am suspecting it now!). My therapist and I focused mainly on managing the depression and anxiety, which did help, and I learned some new skills to combatting those problems. But after the therapy I went back to dissociating and suddenly forgetting how to handle things, despite the therapy I'd gone through. I tried to delve into the matters myself with intense self-exploration but I found it only made the confusion, anxiety, and amnesia worse. I thought maybe it's because I failed my previous therapy. But maybe it's just because I didn't realise there were other parts that also needed to be taught on how to manage their emotions and trauma? I'm going back to therapy in a month to see if I'm right. :)

We just had a fusion of 2 of our original protectors and a new alter came forward in its place. We haven’t started EMDR yet to process our trauma and this has left us feeling very discouraged. Do fusions like this constitute healing as the system is still actively in place? Does this make sense? Thank you for all of your wonderful information we greatly appreciate it. -Aurora/Jess

So parts only come out when threatened or more than that???

Just discovered this channel and am so glad. I am on a waiting list for therapy as I recently got diagnosed with CPTSD. I am just realizing I have been having dissosiative experiences which began in childhood and always felt many personality states. I have previous diagnosis of BPD and Recurring Depression. I survived a suicide attempt 30 years ago and have had various eating disorders which began in childhood. I am also late diagnosed autistic. I love the logical approach discussed in this video.

“To learn to not be afraid to ask for help is a real skill” - this is one we really really struggle with and are a long way from being masterful! As you say Dr Mike patience with myselves …….

Thankyou for explaining so much of my life. I thought (and still think 😢) I was just broken. I'm still new to figuring out plurality personally but so much of it neatly ties my life together

Being ill can cause more switching and amnesia, so for me, it is best to bring awareness to your support team and mental healthcare professionals. They can help guide family members and even physicians up to speed to get the best care possible. 😊

made so much sense. not to self diagnose ( i will send this over to my psychotherapist ), but i do know where am i in the spectrum. thank you doc!

We hope you get rest and recover from any ailments, swiftly 🌿🫖🌿

Please take good care of yourself!

Wishing you well, Dr. Thanks for the video. It is very much appreciated and needed at this time 🤙🏽

can autism be misdiagnosed as chronic dissociation from birth. chronic dissociation can be caused in the womb which later can be misdiagnosed as autism. if structural dissociation happens from birth and they cant connect with others or their self it will be traumatic. nobody thinks about this what im saying but this is crucial...

I've reached a point in which I don't know what normal is anymore. Am I dissociated? Alls I know is that I had a mental breakdown 5 months ago, and since, it's been an neverending identity crisis, periods of self-destructive thoughts, and gradually destroying my memory, emotions and ability to feel like I'm inside my head. I feel like I'm outside of my body, but I'm not numb to negative things. I also feel very sensitive and fragile but didn't before this event. I feel very angry sometimes. I just feel completely dead inside. It's like everything that defined me, my beliefs, passions, they've all been erased. I just feel so out of tune with my thoughts, feelings and I don't even know what my body wants. I want to experience life again. If my mind is completely blank and all my self-beliefs have changed, how can I undo all this damage and feel normal again? I just don't know how I can get out of this. I don't even understand sarcasm anymore. I go through periods of feeling good for a little bit, and I'll enjoy some old hobbies, but then I'll just feel terrible again. I just don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm going to explode in anger and frustration.

Thank you for this really thoughtful reminder and caring words.

Here are 4 slightly different "basics": 1. ask your therapist to help you recognize small bits of progress in therapy. We see everything as bad or worse unless it is crystal clear. Sometimes not even then. 2. Support physical health, because healing while in pain or ill is nearly impossible. Brush your teeth and don't ignore small things like hydrating enough. 3. Anticipate that change will stress some part of your system, and prepare for it. Even if it is a good change. Even if some parts think it is no big deal. We survived by accepting that nothing would ever improve and all change was dangerous. That will bite us in the backside now. 4. Actively look for and show your system the small daily sources of gratitude, even in a bad day. Also show them who supported the system at any level that day. We tend to think nobody helps and nothing is good. It is a trauma survival mechanism, and usually not true. The sun came up. Again. We need hope to keep on keeping on.

Thanks for a wonderful video. This was just the perfect encouragement for me at the moment. Its so impressive that you can put together such a helpful video when you are feeling unwell. Hope you feel better soon. 💚🦆

I hope you feel better asap, Dr. Mike. God bless.

Thank you, Dr. Mike, at working hard at breaking down the stigma of DID & supporting the healing of survivors. God bless!

Oh no, not the Man Flu! 😂 Sounds like the worst! This reminds me of a conversation we've been having about splitting. It's become more apparent that we split a certain type of alter whenever the seasons change, no matter how prepared we are. This is accompanied by drastic mood swings, panic, even dissociative seizures. Basically, we've just had to accept that we're gonna have little brain babies year-round no matter what we do. But MAYBE in the future, it won't happen anymore. Either way, I think it's really important to remember that stuff like this doesn't mean we're "failing" as a system, it just means we're still doing what we need to do to heal, and we haven't put all the pieces together yet. We haven't arrived at our destination yet, but we're getting there. ~ Cub/Dai

Hope renewed @ 63years young...thank you!! 🩵

I'm aged 57... Rumour has it that chicken soup and a bottle of Lucozade plus plenty of bed rest can cure almost anything 😆 Sorry to hear you are feeling poorly. See you after you have taken some much needed timeout for yourself too. Much appreciated that you dropped by to check in on us. Get well soon.

Hope you feel better soon! I recall something about needing to look after yourself before you can continue to look after others. :)