Alters and Derealization
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- čas přidán 22. 06. 2024
- In this video from The CTAD Clinic, Dr Mike Lloyd (Clinic Director) discusses the potential for alters within conditions such as Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) being able to manifest derealization symptoms as a coping strategy against anxiety and trauma.
#otherspecifieddissociativedisorder #osdd #dissociativeidentitydisorder #did #anxiety #trauma
When my therapist simplified this, she basically said - alternative states can have derealization brought on by triggering past expernaces or emotions. Which can be brought on by sites, smells, sounds and even touch that remind them of past memories. Which, hense is why grounding techniques are so important. Some alternative states get so heavily imbedded in past traumatic events they cant even move or see. So she will repeat calmly your in my office and safe. She can also use strategies like biolatural stimulation to calm those issues and help process through. This is a great subject to chat on.😊
Sounds like you have some great support!
I don’t know how our alters might play into this, but there is a frighteningly familiar pattern in our system where we oscillate wildly from grounded in reality and panicking to feeling disconnected from reality in exchange for not panicking, but as you point out in this video, that doesn’t do much, just stops the panic, and creates it’s own problem in its place. Glad you’re feeling better, thanks so much for the video
You are most welcome!
I would love to talk about our months-long episode of heavy DR. It was traumatizing for me bc the shame I felt around it all and the anxiety i felt bc I suddenly was so heavily detached from the world and everything seemed so far away. I felt like, I was experiencing this life so different than others, I had no emotions for my beloved ones anyone, kinda nothing mattered anymore. My mind was quiet and black for months. Only doubting everything, my whole life, all the disorder, the trauma etc, I also forgot how my life was before. I couldn't remember anything. Sometimes there where memories but as soon as they came they went away with me doubting myself only more. I didn't talk to anyone in this phase. I didn't know how. Bc I had also no words. Only this feeling of a barrier between me and everything and everyone. Also myself. Anxiety all day. All night. Shame. So much shame.
But I started working in this time again bc financial existential problems.. And idk but I never worked this long in a row without calling off, I was super consistent and worked really much. Nothing mattered anymore. Only working (bc I couldn't stand this chaos of feelings alone at home..). And atm I Dont remember when and how it stopped. Now we look back at this time and call it "system crash" bc it was like everything collapsed into itself and the mind was quiet. So quiet. I remember, when I started to have thoughts again, like normal daily thoughts it was so heavy and hard to deal with bc it drained me. I Really had no thoughts at all. The only moments when I had thoughts inside my mind, where, when the feelings of shame and guilt and doubt came over me. It mostly lead to panic and more DR. It was also like ping pong. DR=anxiety Anxiety =DR. Maybe someday I will come back to this comment and write more. I need a pause. But yeah, I really had a big and long DR episode with dissociative amnesia and stuff. (with DID diagnosis in general )
Glad you are feeling better if not a bit snuffley.
As I have said before, I nearly always get an ah hah that makes sense moment during your videos.
Today was when you mentioned an alter and the Video camera.
When dealing with a very difficult face to face person I would go in to the situation or room
“being videoed as a training video that could be played back later in a safe space. Watching it back viewers can give feedback on how well it went”
Thank you so much Dr Mike ❤
Thank you so much for making a video on this and giving us words to describe our experiences! Our parts do this all the time! They can blank out upsetting parts of our vision (but the rest of our vision works fine). They can also erase whole names of abusers (and anyone associated) even though we once knew the names well. We are currently reporting on serious crimes and this has made it very difficult to give our detective important info. We would love to see videos on how to work through dissociative issues when reporting crimes to law enforcement. There seems to be a lack of this info or support available, which is surprising given the co-occurence of extreme trauma and DID. Thank you!!
Thanks for making this invaluable content!
Very interesting to me that the opposite has happened for my system in that when we are going through that all too familiar "dark night of the soul" processing trauma, the system SUPERIMPOSES the past abusers faces onto the face of the safe person outside the body. Its surreal and disturbing but that only happens when we're able and willing to face the fears. Its been quite a healing journey ❤
Wow. I started experiencing both DP/DR, after it being absent for years, when my previous therapist started treating, or matching certain "parts" anger with anger, rather than compassion. Sometimes it would start on the way to my appointments. I couldn't figure out what was going on. It was awful. Fast forward, I haven't had an episode since leaving that therapist. If I start to get twinges of it during sessions with my current therapist, she notices before I can say anything, and immediately pulls back, and slows things down. Thanks as always for making these videos.
you are most welcome!
Glad to know you are feeling better. The summer allergies stink. Be well 💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💙👊
Yes! Thank you!
Thank you for this video! Derealization can be so complex to the point where feeling the disconnect can become a trigger in itself and triggers even more derealization lol. As if the system is dissociating itself, which may be what is happening but with extra layers.
I would love to see a video on IFS and DID and one about more complex systems (polyfragmentation). Especially the latter. I experience so many subsystems, layers, duplicates, inner worlds and very complex internal dynamics that it's hard to find good info on and I am wondering what your experiences are (or what is known about it) when it comes to more complex system structures. I also find it difficult to explain the inner workings to our therapist for this reason as there's not too much about it so maybe it would be helpful for that as well!
As always, super helpful explanation that simplifies things so well. We’ve definitely experienced exactly these things. Thank you!
Thank you, this explains what I’ve been experiencing for ages and I tried explaining it to people but this just makes it so clear, even saying how the amnesia and derealisation is linked, which is what I’ve been dealing with. Glad to hear about how reassuring myself is the correct path to take
Glad this might help!
thank you so much, it's always really exciting to see a new video of yours
So nice of you!
Thank you for this. 💜
You're so welcome!
This is exactly how it is, this was so very helpful. I would never have thought to reassure my Others, that makes so much sense as a way to help when that state is triggered, I hope that reassuring them would help to get grounded as that is the worst part of that state. Thank you.
We appreciate this type of explorative analysis. We don’t recall experiencing derealisation, so we can’t contribute feeeback on this aspect in our system. - we hope your health continues to improve.
Danke so hilfreich...kenne ich immer nur minutenlang und finde ich sehr beunruhigend weil ich dann Angst vor Kontrollverlust bekomme....werde den vorgeschlagenen Versuch der Beruhigung nach innen versuchen,statt von außen den Kontrollverlust versuchen zu vermeiden....😊gute Besserung für Sie.
Danke!
New to all this for my self, this was a great angle I never considered. Thank you!
Great video! I noticed this happening within my system but I didn't realize it was an aspect of derealization--I had more or less chalked it up to it being how the system would "encode" surroundings, but it sounds like that actually falls more into the derealization umbrella. Always get great insights from your videos. Thanks so much!
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you 💙💞👊👊
Ty!
I’m not sure if this is derealisation, but I often have the strange experience of feeling like I’m very big or very small. For example if I’m in the kitchen making a drink, the work surface etc feels very small, I feel like a giant or the opposite happens where the work surface feels huge like I can’t reach it. It happens in therapy where the room seems absolutely huge and I feel tiny. I’ve mentioned it to my therapist but they have never heard of it happening before.
Yes! This happens to me too. I describe it as an 'Alice in Wonderland' feeling.
I think technically it comes under the 'depersonalisation' section of dissociation, but I may be wrong about that.
If I'm not mistaken, look into Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. I do think it's highly correlated with dissociation and derealization, but not necessarily synonymous
@@samf8405
Yes, sorry, I should have made that clearer. It's not the medical AIW Syndrome, which is different.
It's just the big/small feeling that reminds me, personally, of Alice in Wonderland in description. But it's a dissociative symptom, not a medical one.
When a certain aspect comes up in my therapysessions, this happens. Last time I told my therapist, and was able to speak "through the wall". It felt disturbing indeed, and unreal. Hopefully we will be able to work this out. The session continued, but with me not really in place. Still able to recognize that and able to tell. Almost as being on another planet rather than in the same room. I fear to know the reason for this. Try to discuss among us alters that we don't need to do this, but the anxiety is paralyzing..so I suppose we need it. Thank you for this video.
We think of it less like its an attempt to make things less real, its more that there is a particular set of physical/sensory settings from the memory space the alter lives in, overlaid on top of current reality. So your eyes might dilate as if you're in the dark because it was dark then, your hearing may enhance sensitivity as if you're in a quiet room if it was quiet then. Normally we adapt sensorily to our environment, but alters can come in and be in a different mode.
good to know you ar3 feeling better. allergies suc ❤
if its true alters can create a hyper specific derealization over just very specific things like a certain building or a certain person that's honestly o-O,
i mean stop it please DR feels horrible, but .. god damn thats impressive
Have you done or could you do a video about managing denial in OSDD/DID? It's something we really struggle with.
There was one a long time ago about denial, but it would be worth revisiting. What would be your specific question?
I also would appreciate such a video. Denial is very strong in our system and we need strategies to cope with.
@@psychopompes I have a new video being sorted now on Denial, will be ready soon
I or we are getting closer and closer inside. I have always been left-handed. But all of the sudden I am much better to catch and to throw a small ball with my right hand. Is it possible to make a video about differences in motoric control in parts? Thank you for all the great video. They are really helpful
Hello, nice to know u're feeling better, i want to leave comment to ask since i feel the channel is talkin about derealization in these last videos, if (and idk if i could be one sole video ) is possible to know of articles, channels or books that talk about this topic
Again, thanks for your videos
Thank you for all you do. ♡♡♡
Feel better soon! ❤😊
You are so welcome!
can you make a video on alters having different disorders as there seems to be quite a lot of misinformation on social media about this. people claiming only one alter having autism, adhd, tourettes etc.. when the body/brain doesnt have it since they are neurological or developmental disorders, but also about anxiety, depression, eating disorders, personality disorder, fnd, non epileptic seizures etc.. is it possible one alter can have depression while the body/brain doesnt? would the alter only display symptoms of depression but not meeting the diagnostic criteria if it doesnt affect everyone? we already know that if someone with DID also have PTSD/CPTSD, all alters have PTSD/CPTSD but symptoms might be affected differently between alters, so does this apply to those disorders mention like anxiety, depression and the rest listed? hope this made sense.
I second this, I have DID, ASD, and ADHD and waiting on a Tourettes diagnosis though some alters have conditions specific to them. We used to have Anorexia as a system though now only a few alters still have Anorexia whilst others have recovered. One alter fits the diagnostic criteria of BPD and NPD whilst another alter fits the diagnostic criteria for NPD and ASPD but they aren't included in our diagnoses because those symptoms don't show up in the rest of the system of 30+ alters. We all (or very almost all) have tics though I've noticed that some alters tic more or less frequently or have specific tics more or less than others do; the tics that affect us all are the ones that have been present since we were 5/6 years old (that being said we do have alters younger than that and I'm not aware of whether they tic or not). I definitely have alters who experience depression/anxiety more or less than other alters, ranging from extreme to not at all. I'd presume that neurodevelopmental disorders have to be system wide (though symptoms may be less apparent in an alter who has a specific role e.g. a persecutor who's highly internally abusive), whilst other environmental/biological disorders could potentially differ in their presence from alter to alter.
i think alot of this might just be certain alters experience the symptoms of these *worse* than everyone else and idk systems thinking that means only one of them has it.
Changing how things are remembered? I've been thinking of this a lot, can memories be symbolic, but real at the same time? So it an alter dissociated that they were a dog kept in a kennel, with all the dog things, it doesn't mean that was literally the case, it could mean they were trapped, though, and that feeling could feel really real
Derealization is a constant thing for us, it doesn't really help us though usually, it kinda just freaks us out. 😅
- Michael and um... others I guess lol
Thanks for this video, really great way to start the day 👍 😊
Huh.
I grew up as a bookworm and I have a child alter who views everything in 'real life' as a book and she's just reading it. She's not in the story, she's just observing it. She makes friends with 'characters' (alters or real people in my life) in the book but she doesn't view them as 'real', just as characters in this book she's reading.
I never really considered it as a form of derealization.
It would be an interesting theory to consider, from the sound of it.