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Anja Kersten
Registrace 12. 05. 2009
A Life Coach, Artist, Performer, who supports artists and creative entrepreneurs on their journey from hiding to thriving.
Self-Silencing: Stoic on the Outside and Broken on the Inside
Do you relate to the feeling of showing up stoic on the outside, but feeling broken on the inside?
I think a lot of people have learned to not show certain parts of themselves, because they weren't welcomed and therefore self silenced. Especially as in general in our society emotions aren't really appreciated as such.
When this spills over to our creativity as well, we lose the whole range of our expressiveness. It's important to find the courage and take a risk once in a while, showing a different side to ourselves, that's maybe less professional and put together.
I will soon be offering an online workshop on this matter. Stay tuned!
#authentic #visibility #selfimprovement #selfsilencing #silencing #hiding #emotions
I think a lot of people have learned to not show certain parts of themselves, because they weren't welcomed and therefore self silenced. Especially as in general in our society emotions aren't really appreciated as such.
When this spills over to our creativity as well, we lose the whole range of our expressiveness. It's important to find the courage and take a risk once in a while, showing a different side to ourselves, that's maybe less professional and put together.
I will soon be offering an online workshop on this matter. Stay tuned!
#authentic #visibility #selfimprovement #selfsilencing #silencing #hiding #emotions
zhlédnutí: 1 068
Video
Feeling Alone or Lonely? It's Time to Remove the Shame
zhlédnutí 634Před 12 hodinami
There are many reasons for being alone-moving to a new place, coming out of a bad relationship, or dealing with chronic health issues. These situations can make it extremely difficult to reach out to others. This video is about being okay with your situation and removing the added shame, despite societal pressures and stereotypes. Being alone or lonely isn't a black-and-white story. Sometimes, ...
Spontaneous Thoughts: What's Needed Here and Now?
zhlédnutí 48Před 14 hodinami
I am playing around with a new add on, where I don't have any preconceived idea on what I am going to talk about. Usually I do have a subject and points, which I wanna bring across. This is the first off the cuff reflection as a kind of an experiment. Let me know how this lands for you, I would love to know. In this one, we are looking into how important it is sometimes to allow ourselves a cha...
The Alternative Scene Is Just as Snobbish
zhlédnutí 77Před dnem
The Alternative Scene Is Just as Snobbish as the Golf Scene or any other for that matter. When I told people in my Portuguese Conversation group today, that my landlady enjoyed playing golf, there was a strong reaction of being repulsed by people playing golf. 'Oh, they are so snobbish!' It's easy to make an immediate judgment, I am not any better, still I always find it's good to stay curious ...
Toxic Positivity versus Optimism: What's the difference?
zhlédnutí 54Před dnem
Where does optimism turn into toxic positivity? Or are both totally separate from one another? Personally, I am wrestling with this differentiation a bit myself so I am very curious what you have to add to this one. Let's make the attempt to take a closer look! #toxicpositivity #optimism #authentic #visibility #thoughtprovoking
What To Do When Things Feel Stagnant…
zhlédnutí 52Před dnem
It's easy to start something, when we're all enthusiastic and motivated and it's also doesn't take that much effort, when things seem to go our way. We are improving in a new language, our CZcams channel is growing, or we are having great ideas about our creative project we are working on. But when the flow stops and we are entering an ebb state, things become increasingly difficult and it even...
It Takes Courage to Doubt Your Long-Held Beliefs
zhlédnutí 138Před 14 dny
In many ways it's easier to stay in denial about certain belief systems, that might be hurting us and impacting us badly in the long run. It's because to there's often people attached as well and it might mean we have to leave certain situations, set boundaries etc. The other thing is when we start to question long held beliefs, especially when it comes to spirituality, it can feel like having ...
Are You a Critical Thinker?
zhlédnutí 123Před 14 dny
Honestly, I wish they would teach healthy scepticism, critical thinking and discernment already at school! I for sure didn't learn it there... Personally I believe it's very easy, especially when you're somewhat of a seeker and very open minded person, who's quite eager to check out things; teaching modalities, different spiritual approaches etc. to fall prey to a charismatic, popular teacher. ...
Trying very hard versus being in the flow
zhlédnutí 113Před 21 dnem
Trying very hard versus being in the flow
The Art of Balance: Processing and Enjoyment Through Creative Expression
zhlédnutí 29Před měsícem
The Art of Balance: Processing and Enjoyment Through Creative Expression
Stuck in Isolation: Coping with feelings of frustration
zhlédnutí 128Před měsícem
Stuck in Isolation: Coping with feelings of frustration
Authentic Visibility Workshop: Key Insights & Takeaways (Part 1)
zhlédnutí 43Před měsícem
Authentic Visibility Workshop: Key Insights & Takeaways (Part 1)
Should You Bring Your Audience Along? The Ethics of Emotional Dumping in Art
zhlédnutí 60Před měsícem
Should You Bring Your Audience Along? The Ethics of Emotional Dumping in Art
How to engage respectfully on my YouTube channel
zhlédnutí 57Před měsícem
How to engage respectfully on my CZcams channel
Skip the Hero's Journey: Just Be Yourself
zhlédnutí 105Před měsícem
Skip the Hero's Journey: Just Be Yourself
Art in the Box: Thriving with Creative Limitations!
zhlédnutí 41Před měsícem
Art in the Box: Thriving with Creative Limitations!
The Falsehood of Rescuing and Being Rescued
zhlédnutí 66Před měsícem
The Falsehood of Rescuing and Being Rescued
Isn't guru-like content just so pervasive?
zhlédnutí 88Před měsícem
Isn't guru-like content just so pervasive?
What's Keeping You Stuck? Prove It Can Be Done!
zhlédnutí 58Před 2 měsíci
What's Keeping You Stuck? Prove It Can Be Done!
Visibility on Someone Else's Terms: Is It Worth It? | Identity and Acceptance
zhlédnutí 293Před 2 měsíci
Visibility on Someone Else's Terms: Is It Worth It? | Identity and Acceptance
The Impact of Your Help: Why Supporting Independent Artists Matters Today
zhlédnutí 39Před 2 měsíci
The Impact of Your Help: Why Supporting Independent Artists Matters Today
Can Emotional Dumping Lead to Real Connection?
zhlédnutí 46Před 2 měsíci
Can Emotional Dumping Lead to Real Connection?
When You Feel Alone: Why Desperation is not a good advisor
zhlédnutí 139Před 2 měsíci
When You Feel Alone: Why Desperation is not a good advisor
When we silence ourselves we pay dearly
zhlédnutí 184Před 2 měsíci
When we silence ourselves we pay dearly
Come out of Hiding: Free Online Workshops on Authentic Visibility
zhlédnutí 95Před 2 měsíci
Come out of Hiding: Free Online Workshops on Authentic Visibility
The pitfalls of authenticity at all costs
zhlédnutí 289Před 2 měsíci
The pitfalls of authenticity at all costs
Three Ways to Feel more Empowered When Becoming Visible
zhlédnutí 160Před 2 měsíci
Three Ways to Feel more Empowered When Becoming Visible
Yes, Thank you! :)
@@patsyballantyne9886 You’re welcome ☺️
It’s OK to throw about the theories. But clearly you know it’s “bullshit” if it doesn’t work as it is being claimed when tested scientifically in logical ways. Scientific doesn’t need to be like in a lab and stuff but the proper scientific method of processing. This is common sense. Those people that go about spreading this information clearly don’t truly experience or believe it because when I questioned them to clear my doubts, they don’t bother to do so. It’s so obvious. They don’t even say that they can’t explain. They just ghost totally. It clearly shows how irresponsible they are.
Oh god. I have been thinking about this recently till now about the videos of people claiming this. I also tried to believe it and even tell people about it and I’m starting to feel that it might not actually be true. Because when I tried to “debate” with those people who made this claim about the situations that I have faced if it truly resonates with this theory and then they ignored me totally, leaving me hanging and I am feeling torn between believing it as truth or manipulation. But maybe what you said is correct since this video popped up. Also, about the concept of we can manifest any reality we wish too. Such as people saying that if we truly believe in something, reality would become that and I also believed in it and tested it but it doesn’t seem to work. (Such as thinking that you are physically healed and you would be etc.) I didn’t eat and thought that I could still survive didn’t seem to work and I lost weight. Worse still is there are people commenting that this is true and stuff and when I questioned about the validity of my “experiments/ experiences”, they didn’t bother to address it in a way that seems logical and if I pressed on and they couldn’t, they responses were illogical such as you choose to etc. I don’t know that if these “new age” truths are actually false truths to be honest. I am starting to feel like it is and those people that claim that it works likely are fake. What does the community here have to say?
They are more stuff I can “debate” about to “argue” with the new age claims made and no one would bother to counter “argue” my claims to convince me in a proper logical way so it makes me left in limbo (to believe or not). It really feels like the scams I encounter in the past with how people respond to me when I questioned what they said. (Same type of response)
Basically, it’s like gaslighting the reality we feel is true based on what we observed naturally without such information when we grew up (not sure if it really is but it seems possible). I believed it at the start but the facts don’t add up when I tested it (“experimented”).
I love, that you experimented with it yourself and found out it didn't really work. And that you challenged those people, but they didn't have much to say. It seems like you have very good observer capacities and you are curious enough to question things. Personally I have the feeling anything, that's too much an extreme narrative, proclaiming the truth without any depth can potentially be dangerous. Usually it's more complex, maybe sometimes we can create things and at times we can't. I think you can trust yourself and your findings. 🧡
For me in general, I keep it in. Yeah. I’m respectful for doing so. I mean if I would to show it, people also will complain for being “toxic” etc. so am I already doing what they want? (and they still complain) That is why humanity is “toxic” in general. 🙏
Yes, you've got a point. It's really hard to get it right. We definitely don't wanna be toxic ourselves, but it's great when we find spaces where we can be honest and kind at the same time. 🙂
❤
🙏
@@anjakersten keep going. Your videos are great 👍
@@335rody Thank you very much, will do. 😊
and honestly i do not like when people hold it in. i have no clue what is happening. you should always express all, just finding a good way to do it. but do not pretend and hold it in :(
I know what you mean, it's when you never know what's really going on with the other person. At the same time, sometimes these survival patterns are so ingrained, that some people just never feel safe enough to not hold it in. It's kind of beyond conscious control.
i would rather appear crazy then not to be silent when i feel broken. people wont like it and is hard to find someone who listens but if you keep quiet i think it is worse.
There's definitely a huge downside to keeping quiet, I agree. Maybe it's a bit both, depending on the space we're in. But I admire your approach. 😘
If golf is ok for Michael Jordan..its ok by me ..
Nice one!
I feel shame being alone ..but Im scared of another relationship. Youre beautiful wish u well.
I understand, both feelings the shame and the fear are so normal. You're for sure not alone in this one.
Liebe Anja, ich finde auch, dass wir mehr Authentizität brauchen. Thriving instead hiding!
Genau 😘
What shame? No shame in not being in a relationship
Yes, right on!
Obviously you would know better, but we only said toodle-oooh, when saying goodbye.
Lol, thanks for the hint. The one I was using is tüdelü which a dear friend of mine invented and it can be said at any occasion, when wanting to contribute something different. 😉 But I guess it just sounds the same.
@@anjakersten sounds the same. Like akoha, good for coming and going (:
Everyone at work always says I'm never in a bad mood. Just because I don't show it or put it on other people doesn't mean I'm not!
For me in general. Yeah. I’m respectful for doing so. I mean if I would to show it, people also will complain for being “toxic” etc. so am I not already doing what they want? (and they still complain) That is why humanity is “toxic” in general. 🙏
I am sure everyone at work really profits from you being in a good mood and bringing a lot of great energy. I hope you have spaces where you can feel relaxed enough to sometimes share your struggles and what's really going on. I know it's so difficult! 💜
@@waykee3 true. You cant please everyone
@@anjakersten thank you! Stay well
I tend to lose myself in relationships. In the past, I've attracted a couple of narcissists and certainly don't want that anymore either. I'm fine being single, but I can't speak from a woman's experience. Thank you for sharing. I found your perspective to be interesting. This reminds me of something that my grandma used to say. Other people's opinions of your life are none of your business! 😂
I love what your grandma had to say! And I totally understand where you are coming from. Thank you for your insights!
Well said, thank you so much, I'm a new subscriber now ;)
Ah, thank you so much! 🙏
I relate to every word of this. I'm looking forward to your workshop!
Ah, thank you 🙂
Thank you, Anja. ❤
@@jenniferwooliscroft5778 My pleasure 😍
I don't know what it is but every video you post is oddly specific to my experience. It's getting kind of eerie. But I appreciate it.
Lol, I promise I am not spying. Maybe we are all much more alike than we often think. I am so happy you're finding some value in what I have to share. 😘
I find that I feel naturally best with the peace of solitude because I don't have to do anything for anyone, I can just be. It's so nice to just be.
@@xaraha4884 Yes, I totally understand that feeling 🥰
dont know why youtube sugested me this video . thanx from curitiba brasil anysay. this woman is so pretty. what a face. anysay. her beauty is irritiante. closing the video right now her face is from god what a face
I’m going back inside the wardrobe. All the men outside are empty raincoats.
@@Marius_vanderLubbe That’s very evocative imagery 😊
until it feels like ~~> @1:46 .. perfect .
😉
agree - there's a lot of people in the alternative scene ... just as snobbish as any other defined group.
Yes!
My Dad cut the shaft short for me on a Bullseye putter when I was five. That was the only club I had until I was eight. From then on, my favorite was the seven iron. I would putt with that too. Even use it off the tee. I would take loops with that one 7 (holes one and nine) at the local golf course ( 9 hole public course ). Sneak on usually, although a round would only cost you nine US dollars back then ( circa mid 1980s). Pretty dang cheap. The game is incredibly difficult. It's also laced with ugly business deals and fat cats pretending to be important. I knew it as a kid. Trying to get better. And I did. The world of skiing and snowboarding has turned an ugly course in greed as well.. It's hard to be a ski bum now. There are some sweet public courses still in the US.. Very affordable. You carry your own bag. Walk the course. gOOd stuff. I love the game of golf. Maybe it's because I'm a mick 🤣 . Hope you are well, Anja!
So interesting, didn't know a lot of the things you were sharing there. I used to love Mini-Golf as a kid. Golf an American friend showed me once, but I think I don't have the patience necessary, lol. Are you still playing golf or have you stopped? Hope you're well too Dan!
To negate someone's experience = dismissiveness = gaslighting for sure. Tricky within business and family networks. You almost have to relent under the pressure to keep silent. Makes autoimmune symptoms blow off the charts. Be honest. Be Authentic. That's not what's acceptable.
Yes, very true!
Thank you, Anja. Just what I needed to hear. I've been in the stagnant state for several months and the guilt of not being productive has been a downer. I'm trying to accept things as they are and enjoying just being in the moment.
@@marymonson905 I am so happy to hear this helped you. It’s a tough place to be in. We all go through these phases, so you’re definitely not alone. Hang in there! 💕
Yes, I agree with you! Unfortunately, many people are trapped in their family, society, and country's beliefs, and to question or doubt them could potentially mean exile or death. So, if we are fortunate enough to live in a part of the world that allows us to research, question, and change beliefs and behaviors, it does indeed still take courage.
@@paulathistleton1339 yes, you’re making a very valid point! That’s so true and really important to take into account. Thank you for your insights! 🙏
I used to belive that everyone was trying to work together, and be kind. Now I realize that there actually are malicious people, who are trying to thwart kindness. This belief has saved me from a LOT of narcissistic targeting! I keep my shields up. Shields...Heck! I put up a brick wall! 🐒🧱
@@lindac6919 Yay 🙌 that’s fantastic Linda!
Skepticism and critical thinking is not a class to take. Putting those to use depends on emotional maturity. No emotional maturity, no critical thinking.
I can see your point about the emotional maturity. That makes a lot of sense. Still I believe questioning things can be fostered, which might in return mature a person emotionally. Or the other way around or both ideally.
@@anjakersten think on this scenario. You’re a little girl on the playground and another girl, one of your friends, whispers to you that some other schoolmate has said some evil thing about you behind your back, or perhaps they’ve done something unworthy. Critical thinking skill means you would instantly approach the schoolmate and ask them if the story is true or not, get their side of the story. Seems simple but not necessarily so. What are the possible repercussions of you being so open and inquisitive? What if your friend grabs you and demands you not talk to them, even threatens you? What if you know already that the friend will do the same thing to you if you cross her, and you know that nobody else will check her story but instead hate on you, too? What if you find out that the story is fabricated by the friend, now you have to face the fact that someone you like, you totally misread, do you want to face that shock? What if you will feel personally embarrassed about yourself being so easily manipulated? What if the friend you know very well could easily turn all your present friends against you just for having tried to protect the reputation of a possibly innocent person? What if all your friend group is mobilized against you and the schoolmate as both being unwanted? What if demonstrating that much more virtue than the others would actually cause them to loathe, fear and hate you? Emotional maturity means you don’t care what other people think about you, you never submit to your lessers. Without robust emotional maturity, how many would think critically in that situation, even if they’re taught what it is and how to do it? What would you have done then, compared to now? I know there are 8 year olds who wouldn’t hesitate to face their fears without having had any training on critical thinking, and there are 80 year olds who are still the manipulative personality who continue to manipulate, never mind standing up for anyone else. I’m saying if you want critical thinking, then focus on the root cause from which it emerges, emotional maturity. I agree that being put into a position where we need to practice critical thinking and that exercise will promote emotional maturity, certainly. I’ve been through that crossroads many times and have had to make difficult choices depending on whether I protect my inside vs my outside.
@@MarcSmith23 thank you for going through so many scenarios and adding valuable points. I love what you said at the end about making the choice whether you need to protect your insight vs the outside. I can relate.
@@anjakersten we need to teach these concepts with the proper words to use so the youth don’t go through their lives with things bouncing around in their heads with nobody else to discuss it with.
i agree it should be taught in schools - Which may blow the cover for some faculty control freaks within. My eyes were opened wide to the duplicitous nature of some humans about eight years ago. My Dad warned me to read The Prince (Machiavelli) .. I used to be an innocent hippie kid. Now I know better. The best tool now seems to distance myself from certain environments and focus on my personal projects/development.. This seems to offer a break from any allure.. See things clearer. Not sure if that makes sense. Thanks, Anja!
I can relate to the innocent hippie kid! Sounds like an intriguing read. And it makes perfect sense to distance oneself from certain environments for sure and focus on own projects. At some point it's maybe a good idea to venture out into new situations, people etc. That's my take on it for now. 😃
I've come to terms with folks who are improvisors, and what I call Formula People. Both are necessary. If you threw a formula person into a strange situation, they may not do as well as an improvisor. Yet, if you had to lock into a calculated, repetitive process with precision, I'd go with the Formula folks. Some of the finest processes have evolved from improvisation and become standard flow/process.. It's a wacky world 🤣
@@echopathy yes I agree, both is very valuable and necessary and I am very familiar with creating processes from improvisation. And I know great conceptual artists too. Ideally it’s great to be able to do a bit of both 🙃 or do what suits the person best.
Right On! Woo!
Thank you 🤩
Happy anniversary, Anja! Thank you!
Yay, 🙌 on we go!
Congratulations!!! 🎉😉👌 Great, great!
Thanks 🙏 Véronica 😘
Well done. Great achievement!
Thank you so much!
When your gut tells you the shock "art" is abusive, listen to your gut.
Yes, I agree!
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great topic for artists, who are often diffident.
Thank you! 😘
Thanks for reminding me! I'm afraid I do have an expectation that there has to be suffering or hard work, or some other storybook kind of sequence. I leave it behind for a while. Then, one day, I look around and- boom! I'm Cinderella, all over again. But mostly I move forward, thank goodness.
Aloha, Anja! I find vibrations can be very, sort of, oppressing. Airplane noise bothers me at the airport, with the multiple planes. I like the bird songs in the background. 🐦
Yes, the birds are really lovely here and I agree sounds can be oppressive. That’s exactly the kind of sound in the dance piece.
Hello Wise One of the humble innocent creative wise guardian "see-through" heart. I love that you are expressing, your expressions bring "the things" (floating in the human ego field) forward into balance and light. Truly well-needed communications. Thank you :D <3
That was very poetic and made me smile. 😊 Thank you.
I am a PRO at NO now 🏆🥇
Wow, that's great!
Very good
Thank you 😉
Please define the difference
Thanks, you made me even think more on this. Maybe I'll do another video on this. I would say it comes down a bit to intention amongst other things. When someone creates from their pain for example, but then has brought it into a certain shape through technique, style etc. because they want to bring the audience along on the journey and the personal becomes a shared experience at the same time. But when the emotion is just put out there to have a sense of relief, then the second step is missing. It can be a great place to start, but at some point we need to be artful with it, unless we are doing it just for ourselves and not an audience. I hope it makes sense, I could go on and on about this. And at the end of the day, it's only my perspective.
I grew up as a people pleaser... Was attracted to broken people thinking i could make them laugh their way out of things. An exhausting way to live, but I've learned to leverage that more as I've grown. To witness my close friend still attempting to appease his loved ones is difficult. I see his attempts stripping him of energy and happiness - As he shares frustration over a lack of reciprocity. He gives so much, and people just keep taking it.
Yes, it's so terribly exhausting and a difficult pattern to shake. I can imagine it must be difficult witnessing your best friend still doing that and the lack of reciprocity is a tough one. I hope he can find another way of relating at some point in his life. But at least he has a good friend in you.
Yes, yes, and yes! It gets ickky. I don't want to be a brand or anything. I just want to share my tools.
That's definitely a great intention Linda!
Yes, this kind of 'funding' always makes me mad. And I tried to 'adjust' my work.- as I am a naturally curious person (and I find interesting points in everything), but often the flow is much better when it's your original idea.
Being a naturally curious person is for sure a huge advantage. 😀 Who knows how many original ideas got killed off, because of this kind of 'funding'...
😂😂😂
😉
everyone has long been told to "brand" and "market" themselves. really is a culture of me. lots of psycho.babble, too.
Yes! 🙌
Good points. The thing is literally everybody nowadays can set themselves up as a teacher. I don’t mind when people are coming at it from the angle of guide on the side rather than sage on the stage. I had the feeling you were talking about Richard Grannon here!
Yes, that’s so true, that everybody can set themselves up as a teacher nowadays. I don’t know Richard Gannon, but now I‘m of course curious! Lol, love the ‚guide on the side rather than sage on stage‘ line. It’s a good one. 😉
lol. i know that channel the royal we. backed out of that one. got kinda creepy for me
I had to force myself watching that one video until the end, someone else had recommended to me… There were some valid points, but I didn’t like the whole vibe and it missed out on the complexities of it. Apart from being preachy. Dr. Ramani is the best, when it comes to that subject. I stand by that.🙂