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I was gonna wait until the end to comment, but I’ll forget… I’m over here relating, go to hit like, and I’m #666 🥰 I also didn’t know why no one else was dying on the inside until today 😍 I’m in an autistic burnout

Obrigada pelo seu Review moça ❤

I get severe anxiety about being perceived whenever im out in public, i sometimes get the shakes and then i worry people can notice my anxiety which makes it worse.

I cried after watching this video. Until listening to your words and hearing about your experience with anger Elena, i had been feeling SO alone and confused. I live with other people (and am not diagnosed with Autism or etc) and let's just say that my own anger has caused quite the tension in the home over this year so far. I absolutely thank you for your encouraging words and for being here for us Elena. I am most definitely in the thick of my anger + anxiety and depression too. The past 2 years have been so tough and it hasn't been getting any better but hopefully educating myself more and finding relatability in others will be helpful, even if i can't see it yet. ♡♡♡

This happens to me soooo much!!! I have a really great intuition, but it's hard for me to be confrontational, direct, or say no. I also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Because of this, I have almost got my car and phone stolen... I have been trapped in really uncomfortable situations with people who are usually old/drunk/homeless... I attract so so many older predators and married people, which was since I was younger!!! People ask me all the time how I get myself into crazy situations or with crazy people. I try to not get close ANY person, but even strangers can't get passed me 😫😆 I always say jokingly, "I attract people that like trauma" Edit: Thank you for sharing your personal experience. It's very nice of you to want us to be aware of these possibilities for the protection of ourselves.

It’s crippling

Some victims are also perpetrators.

I think that we can learn to recognize warning signs and avoid dangerous people. It might take some time. But it is possible. Learn the warning signs. I will tell you a big one. Beware of people who don't respect your boundaries.

I pray she will get a job.

Her statistics are probably only for New Zealand.

She has the beauty of a model.

I was looking for a review just like this. Thank you!

I've had situations when I straight up told a coworker not to touch me on a particular day (because I could feel I was nearing sensory overwhelm). She not only ignored me but, instead of just giving me a quick hug like she normally did, she thought it was a good idea to give me a very tight bear hug. And I just stood there, my glasses not only crooked but also slightly bent, completely frozen in place, staring at my computer. I'm not sure if I was just in utter shock or half-dissociated, but I couldn't move for a few minutes. And no one at the office even noticed. I was as mad at my coworker for not respecting my boundaries (especially since it's hard for me to not only realize what I need at the moment but also voice it out loud) but also at myself that I had been unable to be firmer and either push her away when she got too close or walk away and put some extra distance between us when she started walking toward me. The mix between the alexithymia and the delayed processing makes it extra hard for us to self-advocate.

It's funny. Not haha funny, just odd funny. Throughout my life I'vce been told I was "too angry". My ASD diagnosis finally explained why. The frustration and pain and lonliness. The bullying, exclusion, and feelings of otherness and aloneness. The unreasonable demands on my sensory system no one else seemed to feel on theirs. Rarely being seen, heard, understood, or accepted. I once told a psychologist "Of course I'm angry! I have every right to be angry!!!" He immediately invalidated my statement, and "NO!!! YOU DONT!!!" I should have fired that asshole on the spot. My ex girlfreind gets angrry at things most people don't understand. But I do. She's on the spectrum too. We're still very close, and have been freinds or lovers for over a decade now. I see her anger and yours as stregnth. Like a tiger who's cornered, and comes out fighting. Don't like it? Don't corner us. If you can't love and accept and respect and support us for who we are, stay away - "Go f*k yourself..." Delivered in a normal speaking tone works well for me when dealing with intrusive, agressive insensitive assholes who won't leave me alone. Unfortunately I've been physically attacked many times in my life. It started on the first day of school on the playground in 1st grade when I was 6. The last time I was attacked I was in my mid 40s. I learned to fight back. Hard. So hard I ended up under arrest once. It was always in defense of myself or people I loved. It always terrified me. That beast within. In the end I made peace with it. Came to understand it was there to protect me and my loved ones from harm. Whenever I feel that anger rising up, it's a signal that there's some sort of danger, even if it's hidden. Even if the anger is misdirected. I learned to never run from that feeling or to try to supress it. It's an alarm system and it's there for a very good reason. Remove yourself from the situation if you can, but fight back hard if you are cornered or ambushed by an attacker. Make them pay for their agression, or there will be no end to it.

So familiar. My teens and 20s have been ravaged by these people. And then outsiders remark "How is it you attract all of these crazies?" What a wacky series of unending coincidences that it happens again and again... In having these awful, confusing experiences with people, at least I gain data and get more jaded each time. But boy does it suck to have lost so much time to them, and come out of it all very socially isolated cuz I can't trust ANYBODY to not pull some third act villain reveal! -_-

Best jobs for us; where other autistic or introverted people are. A bookstore is a great choice!

I’m currently struggling at my manufacturing engineering position. Some coworkers are extremely hard to work with. It feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s not good enough. It’s like whoever is below me doesn’t understand all that I do behind the scenes from the back end to get changes implemented. Having social anxiety and being surrounded by already negative, impatient people is a constant struggle and depletes my energy. I do a lot of great work, but since I’m more introverted and have delayed processing when I get nervous, I get looked over compared to my extroverted coworkers and I at times feel very undervalued yet given more work. Even setting boundaries doesn’t feel like enough. Putting on a happy, social, cooperative face every day is debilitating and exhausting. Not sure if the grass is greener, but I’v had 3 full time engineering positions since 2015 (I’m going on 6 years at my current position) and still the egotistical power dynamic and cooperate politics is harder to keep up with for how my brain works.

So, yeah, I've always felt people were looking at me. But I had such a positive outlook and positive view of others that I always imagined they had a positive view of me! (I probably overcompensated this.) I have always done things that draw attention to myself in a positive way - which I now realize is to prevent being seen negatively. I also viewed "pretending to be human" (masking) as a fun game, and I got excited when i passed. In the end, though, I have still burned out. (And why CBT is not the answer.)

i also experience this ALL the time but not sure if I'm autistic , wonder if everyone experiences this

Alina let me just say that I think you’re awesome. Thanks so much for sharing this content. I am not autistic but I do have a disability and can relate to the instinct of wanting to provide others space to listen and share their experiences that you wish you would’ve received. I’m sorry to hear found that unsafe individuals often. I think the first step in learning how to tell a difference between people who need a listening ear and those that do but also have negative intentions is it recognizing the issue and it is difficult which you have done. I wish I had some advice to give you but I have I don’t have the opposite problem in terms of being unwilling to trust others and being very private about personal information.

I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤

I was diagnosed at 23 and I have so many times that these situations have happened to me. When I was 18 I got stuck talking to an old man who was waiting for his ride as I was leaving the library for 2 HOURS. The lady who was supposed to be picking him up called him to let him know she was running late and he hurled abuse at her down the phone, yelling and swearing at her. He then proceeded to tell me some really disturbing stuff about all the gang connections he had and the gang related crimes and murders he had witnessed and then he started asking me inappropriate sexual questions and I was just stuck because I didn't know how to get out of it. At the end of it he insisted on giving me his number and told me I was to call him if anyone bothered me and he would "see to them". I was terrified and I remember sprinting all the way home and crying to my mum about it afterwards. Another time when I was 21 I was waiting to be picked up by my dad outside the cinema after going to a movie with my friends and everyone else had left. I was taking pictures of a tree that was lit in an interesting way by the street lights and a man who was abosultely trollied came up to me and started asking for money so he could pay for a taxi home. When I told him I didn't have any real money, just my debit card he said I could just go into the cinema and take the money out there for him. I didn't know what to do so I went into the cinema with him and went to the counter to ask if I could get $20 out and then he also asked me to buy him a sprite which I did as well and then he took the money and left. Oh and then tehre was that time I was riding home from work on my bike and noticed a tipped over bike in the grass, then I saw what I thought was a sweatshirt next to it but upon closer inspection saw it was in fact a person. At first I thought he was injured or dead from falling off his bike but then I noticed him breathing very slightly and me and another lady shook him awake as it was going to get dark soon. He was drunk as a skunk and when he got up I saw he was carrying a backpack full of nothing but Long Whites. He could hardly stand upright and swayed terribly when tried to walk. He was pretty incoherent and kept asking me for a ride home even though I clearly didn't have a car so I offered to chaperone him to the bus station. He went to get on his bike which I didn't think was a good idea given the state he was in but he was actually steadier on that than his legs so I rode with him to the bus station and he asked for some money for the fare and also to buy some noodles so I gave him $10, made sure he got on the bus and then rode home as it started to get dark. I saw him the very next Thursday in the middle of town with the same backpack full of nothing but bottles as he swayed with a half drunk Long White in one hand. I also get stuck on the street talking to who I find out later are drug addicts who were off their tree while they were talking to me (my friends have witnessed it and informed me after because I just thought they were really friendly and maybe had brain damage or a learning difficulty). Oh and then there was the time I got stuck talking to this guy about all his conspiricy theories about 5G and how the government was trying to take his kids away from him for an hour when I was working on the perfume counter at the Warehouse. I'm just too approachable for my own damn good.

Its not abnormal at all for us to attract abnormal people right out of the wood work.

Even when I'm completely alone in my house with all the curtains closed. I can't stop masking; i feel like it's bad and I'm bad if i stop.

I know the feeling, thanks for sharing

Social situations, hard. Think I shut down and go to bed 😴

Great video. Thank you for sharing and shinning light on autistic.

Have you had any positive experiences helping people that were safe and rewarding? I am sorry this isn't my typical question about the neurodivergent experience, but helping people is important to me, and I hope that you can share in the same rewarding experience throughout your life. Desperate people push boundaries of course, but I would be sad if you never got the satisfaction of helping people who were truly in need. I hope that you are able to develop a method of evaluating these situations, so that you can safely continue helping those in need that you find along them way :)

I so relate to this. I was horribly betrayed a few years ago by my longtime partner and “best friend,” who had an affair and hid it for months. They carried on with each other during a time in my life that was extremely challenging as I was facing professional, family, and health setbacks. They kicked me when I was down. My marriage broke up, and my kids lost their best friends as a result (because they were that friend’s kids). My ex’s behavior since that time has been a 180° change from the partner I knew. They have treated me like scum and rewrote our entire relationship with me cast as the villain. This has caused me to reexamine what I thought was a loving and committed relationship and to realize I was being emotionally taxed the entire time. My ex saw themself as the competent and conscientious one and cast me as the idiot who needed caretaking. I realize now that the promotion I sought threatened the order of things, and that it may have been what triggered the two of them to turn on me. I now see that my ex was never the person they portrayed. They even wrote in a blog after our breakup that upon meeting me they considered my innocence and open-mindedness naive. Now that I’m becoming aware of my autism, I can understand the basis for my lack of a filter. The issue moving forward is, how do I address it and prevent a repeat? I haven’t yet learned how to filter my interactions so as to prevent myself from broadcasting that I’m a pawn to be used for others’ personal gain.

Is this why people always screwed me over aaaaa ahahaha istg ❤

Yeah... It took me so so long to understand this lol I hope whoever sees this understands that we are literally white sheets of paper. Whatever gender you identify as, please please remember that the world outside just wants to take advantage. Many neurotypical people see the world as profit and loss. What can i gain from that person, will being closer to them profit me. I am aro ace and i got red pilled lol fml It took me 5 years to wake up because i was surrounded by them. It has already happened to you, you just have not realised it. I hate talking to people, forget about touching them. How did i get red pilled. I still feel rage and anger about this one part of my life. So please remember all she says lol

One of the greatest talents of autistic people is pattern recognition, we can see patterns where most NT's dont. Your story is very familar to me, it especially applies to my early and mid 20s. I think having so many experiences like this, although painful and traumatic, helped me learn to see the patterns in people's behaviours and allowed me to spot someone who didn't have my best interests much quicker. Then the problem becomes trying to convince others who don't see what you see, and then realising that you can't. Basically we can have very good intuition about people, as well as wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt. When you have intuition about a person there have definitely been things about that person that have triggered you off. Perhaps they are things that you have experienced before in someone, but they aren't always things you notice consciously. Think about what it is that triggered your intuition. The difficult thing is sharing this with others. I think a fairly common experience for autistic people is being told that we 'overthink' or we are 'looking too far into things', or even seeing things in another that 'aren't there'. We usually get told this by NT's who naturally don't think in the same way we do, and don't notice the same things. It teaches us to repress our observations, and further pushes that principle of giving others the benefit of the doubt. There's lots of reasons why we want to do this, for example we are often not given the benefit of the doubt, we can feel it is how the world should be so we act this out, we empathise a lot because of our own experiences being misunderstood or ostracised. But it's important to realise that this empathy we feel is often part projection, we might recognise those feelings of sadness in another but we are essentially filling in the context ourselves with our own experiences. What many people don't understand is that empathy is an emotion, and because it is an emotion it can become dysregulated like any other. For example anger when dysregulated can lead to destructive behaviours, but so can all other emotions including empathy. All emotions are neutral in their affect on the world and ourselves, they can bring good or bad things, but what they bring is very much dependent on how regulated they are. People put a lot of weight on empathy as this thing that leads to positive behaviour, but this is not true. I suggest reading Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion by Paul Bloom. Back to what I was saying before, we have learned to repress our intuition, much in the way we've learned to repress our bodily discomfort. Many of us are disconnected from our bodies because we have been told growing up that our experiences aren't real. When we meet someone who triggers our intuition we may repress it, or we may tell others and get told that we are seeing something that isn't there. We learn how to not protect ourselves and to be 'good' autistics who hurt no one, yet are often accused of causing hurt. We internalise shame and guilt and blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong, and my god if we meet one of those downcast people who tell us they feel like everything is their fault we'll be the first to adopt them, even if we should in reality be nowhere near them. This is another example of dysregulated empathy, where you recognise the feelings but project the emotional context onto another. Its very important to recognise this if you want to learn to avoid people who will take advantage of you. It's not bad to empathise, it's not good either, but it can be very helpful if you know how to use it right! If you notice something about someone that doesn't sit right with you, note it down mentally or physically if you like. It doesn't matter if NT's dont notice what you do, as I said autistics can be very observant people and we see things in others that many NT's dont. They tend to get weird 'vibes' about people, but they can be wrong or right, but they aren't faultless. I often see NT's hanging out with people who will inevitably back stab them, or who cause problems in a group by using underhand tactics and gaining others trust. NT's can be as blind to other people's intentions as we are, but they especially are when that person appears to be socially acceptable and likeable. They tend to notice only the surface level, and let things go that they feel are a threat so they can maintain non conflict and security within a group. They're averse to anyone who to the very clearly displays behaviours and traits that they feel don't fit in with a group or may cause destruction within it, but most wouldn't be able to tell you why exactly, and as I said they can be wrong. So it's best not to use NT's as a compass either. The types of people they miss that end up in their lives are the sorts of people that tend to target autistic people first as a way to gain status, and also because autistic people tend to notice or undermine them whether this is on purpose or not. So don't feel so bad about falling for people's ulterior motives, NT's do it all the time too. Anyway I hope this is helpful.

Excellent presentation! This is critical information. And yes, many out there are well aware of this particular aspect of ASD and can spot the signs. Some are snakes, and some are Mongooses. If I could make a recommendation: Befriend a Mongoose. 🎼TD, Boston

I’ve struggled with the whole issue of leading people on by being friendly and a good listener. It’s hard when that is my default mode. Lately I’ve been trying to think of a situation and put another woman in my place. Like… what would my sister-in-law be like in this situation, would she put up with this, or what would I feel if my co-worker was in a similar position, would I be worried about them.

Great video!😁

Mini golf is fun.

Yeah, that is definitely something I can relate to. Going by how I feel after spending time with someone is something I should adopt. There are people where I feel miserable and tense after meeting them and I should probably be cutting them out. There are others where I feel calm and relaxed afterwards. Anyway, thanks for sharing :)

Loved the video, thanks for sharing this it’s very helpful ❤

Never knew i would need a autistic Review to choose something. Thank's will try These as well. Hope they will do me Good for Festival and every day life.

Elena just wanting to ask, are you into politics?

Thank you so much for sharing this. My younger brother is turning 12 next week and over the past year has developed several behaviors, thought patterns, and emotional responses that have made it very difficult for him to function successfully in school and at home. One of these is him becoming highly angry very quickly over small too little to no cause and a times this leads not just yelling but also him doing things/becoming violent with objects etc. etc. He’s received a few mental health diagnosis from a psychiatrist evaluation but he was not assessed for autism and in fact the summary report that the psychiatrist wrote for the district stated that they did not consider what are some in his case because of the fact that mom has not reported yes to answering any of the questions about his early childhood that would’ve indicated what are some symptoms. This was all to me because I knew that there were plenty of instances when it was not diagnosed until later on in life. Put in mention that if they ask both if you have any suggestions on how to get professionals to consider doing an autism assessment, and what if any advice you might have regarding questions I could ask him about what he’s thinking/feeling during his outburst to try to figure out whether they might in fact be autism related anger/meltdowns, or something else.

Thanks. Did you notice if they help block wind going into your ear?

In my case my autism was hidden behind my mental illnesses. So all my autism symptoms were taken as mental health symptoms. A man at the bus stop spit on me and I blacked out and started whacking him with shopping bags. He wasn't hurt but I got really scared of what I was capable of. That was in 1999. That is the last time I hit anyone. I have since had two incidents of breaking things. One in the Emergency Room in 2009 and one in the psych hospital this year (I smashed a chair). I am pretty good at regulating myself normally but it is harder in the hospital.

Thanks for sharing. I agree with you volunteering is a great confidence builder in terms of employment. I have volunteered before and really enjoyed the experience. Had a temporary job recently that I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by a great colleague and a really nice workplace. The job itself with anything interesting but the people made it really experience. I’ve been thinking about reaching out to one of my old colleagues and see if he would be open to my doing some volunteering in a creative writing capacity of the organization, I’ve been debating it but you’re words about your volunteer experience make me think that maybe I will give it a try.

That sounds like it must’ve been extraordinarily difficult childhood and adolescence. I think you’re doing a great service by sharing your story with others in order to help make it less likely that other children will have the same experience.

I think it’s awesome that you are putting your experience into words in order to help explain for yourself and relatable to others. It’s so important to have people who are open and honest about how they’re feeling and do their best to explain what they’re feeling so that greate understanding and awareness can be shared by others who do not have similar experiences. I will say that even though I am not on tha spectrum I can relate to some of what you said to a small degree. I think that it’s human nature to sometimes feel like we are the center of everyone else of attention, even though when as you pointed out in actuality most people are far too concerned with their own lives to pay any attention to what we’re doing. I have a disability and have found that especially since getting my service dog and becoming more visible I sometimes am a bit more hyper aware of others perceptions and I otherwise would be.--Feel like everyone must be watching what I’m doing and as you mentioned if I drop some thing or trip on something or make some other visible noticeable behavior that could be classified as embarrassing then it does feel like in the moment everyone is watching it. But I remind myself that Disability or not, everyone drop things, trips on things, make mistakes and have embarrassing moments. That’s just a natural part of being human and they’re only embarrassing everyone if we feel like they are which there really isn’t any reason to because everyone doesn’t with a point and chances are no even realized when we’re doing them.

I can relate to so much of what you say. I was a chameleon around my friends.

haha i did bartending for a few shifts and quickly quit because of interacting with coworkers and the busy work environment was so mental energy draining and anxiety inducing. Also my coworkers pushed more work onto me because they knew i was a diligent worker and they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves. It was so bad that I found that my head wouldn't stop thinking about the day after finishing my shift and this would keep me awake at night. One day I woke up having gotten very little sleep and eyes feeling like they have papercuts and I just knew this job was not sustainable for me and so i left sooner rather than later.

This video really nice

In my experience that feeling of being watched is due to just how much I see. I notice everything around me. So I think every one does this too. Reality is they don't. They are not seeing and hearing everything. I speak quietly too in busy seeing as to not be over heard by others and I hear every conversation in the room at that same time. I don't understand all the hear I just hear. What's more later if pattern emerges in what I heard I learn secrets I'm not supposed to know. So yes I struggle with it.