My sister was so against being a bridezilla that she refused to stress even when she should have at least a little bit. Her planner was SO incompetent and when i tried to help she shut me down saying she wasn't going to stress about it. Result: WEEK OF THE WEDDING, there's no list with all the guests names, there's no music for the processional, there's no timeline for the party, the bouquet was completely forgotten, and a million things like that. And as she didn't want to stress herself out, I did EVERYTHING for her. Gave her my own wedding playlist, called around to sort out the little things, begged the florist to take some flowers from the centerpieces for the bouquet and all that. Come the wedding day she had 22 people in her bridal party. To say that I felt unimportant and rejected while her husband's friends' girlfriends were standing beside her in bridesmaids photos is an understatement. Not that I wanted special attention, but being by my sister's side in at least *one* of the pictures of the bridal party would have been nice.
@@Gigi-bo3zr thank you so much 💗 i was one of the bridesmaids but every time something happened her friends would flock around her and literally push me away 😅 i got over it eventually but i'm still salty about it
Not engaged yet, but I'm 99% sure my boyfriend recently bought a ring. Secretly planning stuff and bigning these videos 🤫 I would LOVE to have our St. Bernard be the ring bearer and have a little carrying box on his neck/collar 😍
He scheduled a day of hiking with my best friend and then gave away that it is actually an impromptu photo shoot in my hometown because he was all excited about what I was going to wear to go hiking 😅🤦🏼♀️ .... I wonder what could possibly be important enough for a photo shoot 🤔
Sometimes I wish all brides watched your channel. I am a bridesmaid and was not forewarned that I would be paying all the things I paid for or that I had to take 4 days off from work to be a bridesmaid. I will definitely be warning my bridesmaids what i expect before they accept and also trying to make sure I am not asking for too much!
sbtesta Same! And I had already agreed to it and months later did I find out it was going to be so costly and time consuming. I felt awful for having to back out so late in the process
I find it so interesting that in America you have such large bridal parties, in the UK the couple are expected to pay for the dresses/attire/anything else for the bridesmaid and groomsmen so they're often much smaller. I love seeing the differences between the two types of weddings
I think it's a bit in the middle here in Australia. I don't think there's as many activities and responsibilities given to the maid of honour here, but they might pay for their own dresses. It's definitely heading more towards the American trends though, I never knew anyone who had a bridal shower until recently, everyone I know before that just had the hen's night. Or hen's weekend if they could manage it.
@@JamieWolfer it really should be the couple paying for their bridal party’s attire. It’s a relatively new thing to expect people to pay for that sort of thing.
We’re having four on each side. Two of my bridesmaids are my sisters and the other two are my best friends and they’re my maid and matron of honor. I definitely wanted to keep it small. We ran into major politics when I did not ask my future sister in law, but I don’t regret it because we never have gotten along and it’s just constant jealousy in her end. She’s already attempted to sabotage our wedding twice and I’m just NOT about to involve her in my day with that behavior haha. I think I’m ultimately going to be really glad I chose to do this the way I did!
Are his groomsmen mutual friends or just his friends? If they are your friends too, then "steal" a couple to your side. Or if you or he have any close sisters or cousins, ask them. Or just have your one. There are no set rules that the numbers have to be even, or that you even have to have a bridal party stand with ya'll. It will be a day for you two, do what makes ya'll happy.
Google “uneven bridal parties”. It’s fine :). Your wedding day is about you two. If you have one person you want and fiancé has 5, then that’s what you should do! Much better than finding another 4 ransoms to “balance it out”
I conveyed my minimal expectations to my bridal party (my siblings and my bff -- I have a lot of sisters I couldn't not ask to be in the party I and preferred to keep my party small), and they still gave me pushback about literally everything and didn't even plan me a bachelorette party )= I talked about budgets when them, the color I wanted their dresses, the one style I did not want them to wear, the boutique we would shop at after determining budgets, and tried to say what I wanted for the bridal and bachelorette parties, and every single time they caused me stress and didn't listen to me (especially my mom, who decided she was in the bridal party and took over planning everything about planning the bridal shower, which she insisted had to be a surprise without asking me for even my availability), and I had to plan my own bachelorette party because I found out 5 or 6 weeks out from the wedding that beyond one very brief conversation, my bridal party didn't discuss it at all. I felt so small learning that and finding out from my MOH what my own sisters were saying about me behind my back. My personal recommendation would be to make sure you have a friend on board who can take charge, especially if you have a pushy family or members of the party who are passive people.
Same. Not engaged yet but I have no friends right now. All my high school relationships faded away. And I haven't made any friends in real life since. In fact I may end up inviting some people I know online to my wedding which I think might be weird cause no one else knows them besides my boyfriend.
@@ramblingmillennial1560 It's OK. If your boyfriend has friends, you'll be friends with them too. I don't have many friends either (like, 3 friends of mine at 37, plus some new friends I've just made through my fiancé). Nobody cares. Just invite people both of you like and enjoy the party.?
I’m not having a bridal party for my wedding this October. I want everyone to come as a guest and not have to worry about a certain dress or doing extra jobs! Also, love that you touched on declining an invite. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I knew I didn’t have the money and mental health for that commitment, but she understood and it was a beautiful wedding! 💗
This 👏🏻 right 👏🏻 here👏🏻 My fiancé and I got engaged March 3rd of this year. Do you know how long we were engaged before he started asking groomsmen to be part of our special day? ONE HOUR. Just ONE! Now, guess what we’re dealing with 6 months later? We have a groomsman that had a child and has to back out due to those obligations (Obviously, this is completely understandable and we encouraged him to come as a guest without the pressures of being in the bridal party. He was relieved and thankful that we were understanding of his situation, thank goodness.), one groomsman hasn’t spoken to my fiancé in a couple of months and then there’s another that my fiancé has decided he would rather swap out for someone he is closer with. What an absolute mess. 😅 Thankfully, I’ve convinced him not to ask anyone else until at least a year out from our wedding.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't want to have a wedding at all, but my fiance convinced me otherwise. And one of the biggest points of contention between he and I at the very beginning of the wedding planning process was the bridal party. I didn't want one, he did. After I explained to him everything that would be involved with having a bridal party (picking out suits for the men, deciding on dresses for the women, rehersals, flowers, boutonnieres, etc.) he very quickly agreed with me that we didn't need the headache, nor did we want to force that headache on our friends. For some people, the wedding party is important and this video helps with making that decision. For other people like us, if it's not for you or doesn't make logical sense (we're only having about 50 people attending our wedding), then you can scrap it.
Hello my favorite wedding planner. I think this was the hardest part of my wedding. I only had a maid of honor for a long time. I think the hardest part was people who just assumed I was going to-ask them to be in my wedding 😒. My future sister n law was very upset that I did not ask her or her kids to be in our wedding but in the end it was about us and not them and it all worked out.
I have a brother and a sister, my fiance has a brother. My sister is the maid of honor and his brother is the best man. No one else! We have two people in our party and I am really happy with the low key-ness of it all. I am hoping it will feel more intimate that way. OH and my brother is ordained so he will be marrying us! :)
Our nieces and nephews are our flower girls and ring bearers. We decided that instead of shelling out for a small suit or fancy dress, we asked the kids to come as super heroes! They are super, Haha!, excited and will be much happier in costumes!
Number 3 is my favourite tip. So important to look back on photos and see people you love and not people you no longer speak with beside you. For this reason I'm having my sister, my best friend and my sister-in-law to be who I get along with awesomly.
My brother will be my 'man of honor' I never really understood why it had to be gender specific on each side if you're close with someone and want them in your bridal/groom party then do it no matter their gender or if it's against 'tradition'
Hey! Can everyone help me out a little!? My fiancé and I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, none. *We* have none. I do have one best friend I want up there with me and he wants his dad as his best man and he wants to leave it at that. But I have 3 brothers that I also want up there with me, and 2 of them have fiancés that are like sisters to me that I would want up there too(I'm also a bridesmaid for both of them). He has 2 sisters, a brother, and a brother in law, but would only want the b-i-l. So he would have his dad and b-i-l, while I would have my best friend, 3 brothers, and the 2 fiancés. I hope y'all followed me, I'm sorry it's so long. My question is, 1) is that too much? And 2) if I ask the two fiancés, since they're technically not my sisters, do I have to ask his sisters too?
My husband & I got married March 29th. He had his best friend as best man, his close female cousin as Honorable Lady, & his son as a groomsman. I had my 2 adult daughters as MOHs, my 2 grandsons gave me away (both parents are deceased) & 3 youngest grands as bridesmaids & groomsman. It was OUR day & we broke all the "rules". Thanks for your videos, Jamie...they rock!
My sister isn't my maid of honor simply because she is a freshman in college this year. She has so much going on with being away from home for the first time and having the first taste of adulthood. She doesn't have time do anything a maid of honor is expected to do. She's also only 18 going on 19, she can't even go out with us for my bachelorette. Legally. I've also asked her about her feelings on it and she said that she doesn't even WANT to be maid of honor for all of those same reasons. She is a bridesmaid and picked out the dresses she and my other bridesmaids will wear and she's perfectly fine.
Sounds nice. I was the maid of honor for my sister's wedding. At the time I was a senior in high school and living on opposite sides of the country. I missed her bridal shower by a few hours due to travel delays. I wasn't able to help her plan very well, but as far as I know, we were both happy she was getting married and I was there for her.
And plus I don’t think I would ever make my bridesmaids think they have all these responsibilities... just find a dress in this color scheme and that’s it we can have the lowest cost of a bachelorette party locally idk what else I would have to ask from them!
But what are the traditional responsibilities of a bridesmaid and maid of honor? I’m American and all but I’ve never been in a bridal party anddd haven’t gone to too many weddings and I’m also a bad Millenial who doesn’t know about all these things lmao like aside from planning the bachelorette party and obvs being there the day of the wedding what else is there?
When my friends C and D got married, C (the bride) had about 10 bridespeople (1 a bridesman, her brother in a shirt the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses; the rest were bridesmaids, including but not limited to her sisters) while D (the groom) had about 5 groomsman. If I recall correctly, the wedding party walked out 3 at a time, with 2 bridesfolk per groomsman. When my friends B and K got married, B (the bride) had 2 bridesmaids while K (the groom) had 2 groomsmen. When my friends A and K got married, they had a flower girl (I don't know how they know her) and their just-a -few-years-younger brothers as ring bearers.
My Fiancé has 8 guys and he went out right away and told everyone they could be bridesmaids. So after a year of drama I just have his sister and niece. Personally I would rather have none but they are excited. I have found bridesmaids are just work. As always thank you for your videos, the brides in my group love them!
So far I've asked my cousin to be my maid of honor, and I don't think I need more than that. My future sister in law is on my "decor crew" and a good friend is helping plan the back yard shindig/hog roast for later in the week. I guess they count as part of the "bride tribe" even if they aren't all standing with me on the day.
I know this video is older, but I figured why not just take a shot in the dark. My future sis in law is my best friend and will be my MOH. My twin cousins (one of which I am a bridesmaid for her wedding) are my bridesmaids. I know I may get some negativity in not having my own sister in my party, but it’s because our relationship is off and on... and she is exhausting to be around. Her personality is so different than mine and although I love her, she sucks the life out of me. Should I be feeling the guilt of not having her up there with me or can I still be a good person and not have her in my party?
I was a groomsmen for my sisters wedding. l live in Florida and she lives in California. The only thing i attended was the Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding. My sister had a bachelorette party for her bridesmaids and maid of honor (there were only a total of 3 of them). I don't think my brother-in-law had a bachelor party.
My fiance has no friends, and will not have a best man/woman. I have tried not to pressure him at all because we're having a small wedding of maybe 15 people, but I am having my sis as my maid of honor.
It made me feel better to hear that your sister was your maid of honor, even though she wasn’t close and couldn’t make it to everything. The only person I could see being my maid of honor is my best friend since kindergarten, but she moved to Arizona and I am in Michigan. I’m stressed about something happening and her not being able to make it.
I’m having 10 and he’s having 7! I’ve been soooo stressed about this because I don’t want it to look weird.. but he can either add people he knows he won’t be friends with forever or have the people he really wants. This made me feel a little better though! Just hoping no one talks about it 🙄
For me, most of my bridesmaids would not have been able to afford to be in my wedding. So I made the choice to spend part of the wedding budget on their dresses and a few other things they would need for the wedding. It was more important to me that they were there with me than for me to spend that money on other things that were less important.
Love this advice! PS - would love more inclusive language. There isn't always a "groom" side and while I know a lot of the wedding industry is centred around bride vs. groom, it would be great to hear "bride and bride" from time to time!
I understand where your coming from but it can get kind of confusing to say bride and bride or groom and groom. When throwing a lot of information at you all at once it can trip up. Unless its bride a and bride b. Sometimes bride and groom will help deliver the message in a clear way
My best friend I met in 7th grade, my other best friend I met around when I graduated high school (12 years ago), my fiancé’s sister, my sister, and another friend of mine I have been friends with since 2010. Havnt asked anyone yet but that’s who I want. And my first best friend from 7th grade will be my maid of honor.
Update. Fiancé sister won’t be. Mostly because she didn’t invite me to be a bridesmaid in hers. She was going to have me walk in the wedding at least and didn’t even have that. We do clash sometimes which also could be negative because she might try to take control. So just 4 people. Just made my proposal boxes.
no official bridal party for me. just my bestfriend as my maid of honor and my gals. If they want to help out with somethings great, if not i'm happy if they're down for a party
So good to hear. In Switzerland Bridal Parties aren‘t really a thing / aren’t traditional... I grew up in California the first few years of my life. And I still want to have Bridesmaids & Groomsmen. I think it’s just awesome and a great way to share the responsibility and some of the tasks that come along with wedding planning. And also you can show everyone that these are special people in your life. But I know a lot of couples who didn’t have a bridal party and it worked just fine.
My fiance and I are planning this out still. We have many more gal friends than guys, so we are going to have "bridesmaids" and "bride tribe" for pretty much all of the reasons mentioned. My maid of honor lives a couple states away, so she won't be able to help out as much. And I do not want people to feel obligated to spend money they don't have. But I will be asking them to help me out especially if they live close to me and the venue (just... Without the obligations).
I have 4 bridesmaids and my Fiance has 4 groomsmen. For a while he didn't know who he was picking and may have only had 2 or 3. I have about 10 female friends and I didn't want to have to chose 1 over the others. So we decided that if he only had 2 then I would pick 1 and have my brother on my side. It all ended up working out but I wouldn't have been opposed to having my brother on my side with me.
I would like to add, many people now work on weekends. It’s a super common thing. And it can be difficult to get time approved off of work for every single event. So if someone has a job where they are required to work weekends, they may not be able to go to every event.
My fiancé and I will be at the alter with just one person on each of our sides (his twin and one of my best friends-who set us up on a blind date). But! I have a very large group of friends/family in my ‘bride tribe’ (19, in total...some very local, some on different contents) so I’ve asked all to partake in whatever they’re able to and to wear similar colors on the wedding day so we can take group photos. The wedding will be at my parents 2 acre property so the morning of getting ready in the home is *hopefully going to be open-ended and easy for everyone too.
When I get married I know for sure I will include my 3 sisters, 2 of my closest girlfriends, my husband to be had a sister(s) I may include at least one, and finally I’m considering adding my cousin as a junior bridesmaid. As far as ring bearers and flower girls I would choose my little cousins who are actually the 3 younger siblings of the junior bridesmaids as one of the flower girls and her little two brothers as my ring bearers and for my final flower girl one my bridesmaids is having a little girl soon and I would actually pick her.
i am hoping for both of us to keep a small group for our bridal party. hopefully 6 at the most. this was helpful theres a lot of things i’ve always wondered about all of the bridal party details and expectations!
I'm not having a bridal party. It's just too much pressure on everyone. Also, both of my closest friends will have very young children by the time we get married. They will be my bridesmaids in spirit without the obligations.
We are getting married in 19 days eeee! We each have 5, I have 2 close friends, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my childhood best friend. He has his older brother as BM and friends. We kept it simple with rentals for the suit wearers and my 2 ladies just had to stick with the color scheme (black) but style/length/shoes etc doesn't matter. I always enjoy your content, thank you!
I have four bridesmaids (all from the same group of friends to keep things simple) and there's also four groomsmen :) I allowed him to pick his number first then I selected mine
Loving your videos!! I'm quite newly engaged and struggling with who to pick as I'm Australian and my fiancé is Irish so we're planning to get married and live in Ireland. I want my sisters as bridesmaids and they'll be in Australia so I'm totally realistic that they won't be able to help as much which I'm ok with because I still want them apart of the wedding. But I'd like at least one person, I guess like a maid of honour, to be in Ireland and be able to help me with things like dress shopping or fun wedding diys but I don't have anyone I'm that close with... My fiancé has 3 sisters but I'm not that close with them and couldn't include one and not all three and I have a few friends in Ireland but none I'm that close to so feel like I'd be forcing it a bit to ask them, you know? Anyway, whinge over 😂
We are getting married this September (I'm 100% binge watching everything u post) our wedding party is my little sister (maid of honor), my FH' s best friend (best man), and our 3 young daughters joining us as well. I'm doing everything myself so the less complicated the better💕
We are just going to have my kids double as ringbearer/flower girl and bridal party. We have both moved around a lot in our lives and though we have quite a few acquaintances and get along with most people, we are quite private people with few deep friendships. We are planning a small affair with family and a few close friends
I just got engaged last weekend and we are getting married November 6, 2021. We’ve already decided on 4 people on each side for our bridal party, 10 people total including us. We haven’t asked them yet, as we still have about 2 years before the wedding. But we can’t stop wedding planning 👰🏽👨🏽⚖️💍
This is actually what I've stressed out the most about while planning my wedding! (3 months so far in planning) I have 3 older sisters all whom I'm now close to. My future sister in law who've I gotten close to. My best friend, who lives in Tennessee, who I haven't seen in years but talk to once a month. I have a friend who considers me to be her bestfriend but the feeling isnt nessicarily reciprocated, but she considers my best friend her best friend as well *awk*. And a friend who I use to be close to, where I'm going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. My fiance only has 4-5 guys in mind for groomsmen & I've always wanted a small bridal party. I considered just having my sisters and not having a MOH. But I want one. Its a difficult situation for me lol I tend to feel obligated to people when in reality its MY wedding and I shouldnt have to please everyone
Omg!! Similar type of dilemma and how to figure out who to ask. My fiancé and I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, none. *We* have none. I have one best friend I want up there with me and he wants his dad as his best man and he wants to leave it at that. But I have 3 brothers that I also want up there with me, and 2 of them have fiancés that are like sisters to me that I would want up there too(I'm also a bridesmaid for both of them). He has 2 sisters, a brother, and a brother in law, but would only want the b-i-l. So he would have his dad and b-i-l, while I would have my best friend, 3 brothers, and the 2 fiancés. So I'd have 6 to his 2 which I guess is okay, but it's just so much to think about. It's so stressful!
I can’t choose between two of my best friends for the maid of honor so they’re both going to be one. I’ll have 6 in the bridal party all together. My boyfriend is having 3 best men cause he can’t choose either! They’re all equally influential in his life. He’s going to have 6 in his party as well.
Very interesting topic because here in France it's not a common practice to have a bridal party ! I've never even been to a wedding where there were bridesmaids or groomsmen ! I know, shocking lol Some people do it now, but I think it's more of a trend inspired from american weddings. Here, when there are "bridesmaids", they really are not expected to do as much as yours are, if that makes sense ? :) one of my friend was once a bridesmaid, and she was asked to organize the bachelorette party, which is by no means easy but she had nothing special to do on the wedding day. So I like to watch your videos and learn more about other people's ways to do things :)
I was going to ask if you could give a refresher to this video but after watching this video you have definitely helped me out. I’m trying to plan for a small wedding but have 14 ppl in the bridal party and I thought woah this is way too much but it makes the friend dynamic equal. And your last rule is what make things clear for me. Thank you Jamie!!
My fiance and I are having a bridal party of 3 lol. His brother is the best man and my best friend is the MOH and my other friend is the bridesmaid. The best man is gonna have one woman on each arm haha hes gonna feel like such a stud.
We’re planning for a tiny ceremony with only immediate family and close friends. I will technically have a bridal party, but they will be seated day of because otherwise half of our guests would be standing with us. We’re really excited to have people to plan and party with us, but we’re also happy they get to relax on the big day with our families.
There was never any question with my bridesmaids! My best friend of 13 years as my maid of honor, my sisters and my cousin as my bridesmaids. My FH had a little more trouble figuring out his groomsmen
I already have four sisters and two brothers, we as sisters promised each other that we would all go be each other’s bridesmaids but never be maids of honour as that would leave someone out every time. But then I also want friends to be in my bridal party! It’s gonna be so huge!😂
My best friend since childhood didn't have a bridal party. My boyfriend and I and great friends with both her and her husband, but she had said that once he was involved in a friends wedding, and it cost them almost a $1000 so she didn't want to do that to any of their friends. To each their own, but I've always been bummed out I never got to be my best friends bridesmaid.
so me and my partner are looking at being engaged in the next coming 4months and he has all his groomsmen and I realized I have like zero close friends. I have friends who I love and see once in while cause we are all busy but they arent like close. he has like 4-5 groomsmen he wants and im like.... i go maybe 1 person who is close. I honestly dont know what to do.
Andrea D maybe just don’t have the groomsmen stand behind your partner during the ceremony. They can still get pictures with them before or after, and they can still have the title of groomsmen, but that might take some stress off of you to find more people that you may not necessarily want in your party.
I don’t have close female friends or a sister, and so I’m slightly stuck on who to invite to be a bridesmaid or even maid of honor. I feel pressures to have bridesmaids, but my friends are my fiance’s friends and all of them are going to be included on his side. Is it unheard of to just have a bridal party without the individuals being tied to either side? I’m thinking of doing this to keep me from feeling so bad.
I think it would be fine to have a "non-defined" or sided bridal party. It's nice to have everyone rally around the couple with no divisions. You don't even need anyone to stand behind you and your husband at the ceremony if you don't want it.
Lexi S. Girl it’s the same for me. I’m not getting married soon but we’d like to sometime in the future. I live a pretty isolated life cause I have a chronic illness that keeps me at home, and unfortunately I’ve lost basically all of my friends. I’d imagine if we do get married I’d consider his two sisters as my bridesmaids. I think he’d have more groomsmen though.
I've had the most anxiety over picking my bridal party so I'm glad I've made my choice and I'm super happy with it. I stuck with my three closest friends from University, and since we make up our own little gang I've decided against adding someone else since we've hung out just the four of us so much that people tend to feel left out when we get together. In the last year or so we haven't been as close due to an arsehole boyfriend but we've already started patching things up now that we're all on the same team again. It's all I wished for when I decided to stick with my Uni gang and I'm so happy. I've explained the situation to other close friends and they totally understand. I'm still including them in the planning so that they don't feel left out just cause they're not officially in the party. Now I just feel like I've got to go and get myself another guy friend so that my only close manfriend doesn't feel singeled out on my bachelorette as the token gay guy. Is there anything I can be anxious about that I'm not? No? No. 🤷
We have decided to keep it strictly family for our party - I do not have siblings so my two closest cousins will be my bridesmaids and his two brothers will be his groomsmen.. We are also having two ring bearers, a little girl and boy.
I live in Texas. My Matron of Honor lives in upstate New York. My Maid of Honor lives in (wait for it...) Australia! And my bridesmaid I see five days a week as she's my coworker. I've spoken to my bridesmaid, and she has agreed to be my Acting Maid of Honor. What can I say, I don't like "easy." Hahaha!
I love that you have a matron of honor and a maid of honor! My sister will be my matron of honor, and I figured the rest would be bridesmaids, but I might decide to have a maid of honor as well. Thank you for the idea!
I would love to see the pics of you and your wedding party! We’re going to have 20 in ours and I was wondering what that looked like in pics. Thank you!! :)
Seriously though, my fiancé was like we should elope and small wedding. now that we are planning our guest list and bridal party count went up because he keeps adding to it! lol they're so cute.
Thank you SO much! This is exactly what I am dealing with right now! He wants it to be balanced, but that means scrapping one of my friends.. now I can jusy go: "Well, JAMIE says..." 😋
My partner and I are not engaged, but we've talked about weddings a lot. We know we have a lot of shared friends and are kind nontraditional, so we're thinking about just having a wedding party instead of a bridal/grooms party and let our friends pick a side to stand on.
Can you do a video on ushers? I saw maybe one thing about them on pintrest and we have two guys that are gonna be ushers but have no idea what they are supposed to do. Please and thank you! Love your videos!!!
My parents are trying to pressure me into asking my future sister in law to be my bridesmaid... But this is very awkward for me. I had my bridesmaids picked out in my mind literally months before we even got engaged. I've always known I didn't want loads of them - I'm having my best friend as maid of honour. My currently sister in law (brothers wife who I'm very close with and see, on my own and go for days out with, as a great friend), and my mums best friends daughter - who is a couple of years older than me and whom I literally grew up with, I've known her since I was born! - those 2 are my other bridesmaids. Just the 3 in total. I asked them months ago today be my bridesmaids and they all said yes which I'm so happy and excited about Anyway, fast forward to last week... My mum and dad call me to ask how our wedding planning is going. They then tell me that my younger brothers fiance will feel left out if she is not bridesmaid too. She's a lovely person and I get on really well with her, I just don't want her to be my bridesmaid. I told them this, and told them truthfully that if I was having another bridesmaid there is no way I'd ask her without also having to ask my fella's sister too. Who arguably I get on with better than anyone else after my 3 special women... I pointed out how unfair it is. I also said very clearly I do not want 5 bridesmaids. So my parents changed tack and said why don't me and my fiancé give those two women, the future sister in laws on each side, who I didn't ask to be in my bridal party, another job to do and a dress to wear which is the same as each other (and maybe a diff colour as the Bridesmaids). I said we can't afford that. My parents said they'll pay for their dresses... I told my fiancé and he said no way. I've chosen the ladies I want and that's it. He said in fact asking his sister and my younger brothers fiancé to be honourary Bridesmaids with some random made up job for them will feel like an afterthought. And it'll be worse, significantly worse to do that to them than it would be to just not have them at all. They are wedding guests. They are special to us. I feel that it's unfair of my parents to try to influence my decisions on it... It's not something I just threw together, I thought carefully about each of my Bridesmaids and I'm so happy with my choice. My parents are worried about people feeling left out but everyone is adults... So surely they'll be fine...? Rant over 😂 I'd be interested to know what the rest of you think and particularly Jamie if you do get to see this comment?
I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding, and it was probably the most awkward experience of my life. I had met his fiance MAYBE twice before he (not even her) asked me to be one. I was the only one with a kid, and I lived out of town. And these women had all been friends with each other for years. They wanted to have the bachelorette party in Vegas so they could party & drink (neither of which was something I was into...even if I could have afforded to go...which I couldn't), and it was just completely obvious that the ONLY reason I was asked to be in it was because I was the groom's sister. It was awful.
I’m in the same boat you were...my fiancé asked 6 people right away! And I barely had 3 people to ask... I added a few people but then I had some drop out so he still has 6 and I have 4.
I have 4 girls on my side, my cousin, 2 of my best friends, and my sister is my maid of honor. Ive had them picked out from the beginning. My fiancé doesn't have many friends or family members. He asked his best friend to be his best man and that was it. I was freaking out about how lopsided it was going to look. He finally did ask one more friend so I'm a little less stressed.
I would love some advice on making a small wedding work, and what to do when families don't get along that well - I recently got engaged and am struggling with both of these issues and have failed to find much advice here on the tube, thanks!! 💚
I actually get that too, about small weddings, it's hard to picture how it will work because so much of the typical wedding revolves around a lot of people and stuff happening. I wouldn't want more than 50 people, no bridal party, no bouquet toss or garter stuff, no grand entrances, no first dances, no speeches, no fuss whatsoever. Just the people we love most having a good time together. There's really no frame of reference in our culture for that type of event that I can think of. Restaurants with a small function room and chuck a cake in a corner is all I can come up with haha I don't have any ideas for dealing with families, because I haven't done it yet, but my parents haven't been able to be in the same room for 15 years, so I kinda feel your pain 😬 Good luck sorting it out
@@JamieWolfer thankyou! When I mean small I mean under 20 guests so it's going to be pretty intense - I'd love some advice on reception ideas because alot of the 'norm' traditions aren't going to be as needed with so little people eg. big sit down meal, cake cutting, speeches, first dance etc. Would love to hear any ideas as I'm stumped - plus as I mentioned both sides don't really like each other .. so tricky, we were going to throw the towel in and elope but I think I'll miss everyone too much. Sorry so complicated!!
I'm not even engaged!! LOL! But, if I were, if my fiance had sisters, I'd love for them to be my bridesmaids. My perfect number is 7; I don't know why but I feel like that's just the right number for me - 1 maitron (or maid) of honor, six bridesmaids. And while some people are fine with having an uneven number of groomsmen and bridesmaids, I'm not. Lol. I definitely want an even number. Love the idea of having adorable little girls dressed up to toss flowers. Anyway, that's the way I want to do it. If someone else doesn't want to, I have no condemnation for them. To each their own.
Love these videos! Thank you for posting them! My present dilemma is that I’ve already chosen my bridesmaids, a mix of my family, a couple of his and now my total is 6. Totally happy with whom I’ve chosen! Problem is, mother-in-law was pressuring me to have his 3 brother’s girlfriends included so that we could become closer. I opted not to do this since 1-We didn’t mesh well, not close with them, and 2- I didn’t think they would mesh with my Bride Tribe. Monkey Wrench! Now, one of them decided to have a fast wedding (before ours :-l ) and has asked me to be a part of her wedding. Nooooooo! 😩 Now I feel a little obligated to include her in mine, but if I do, I’d have to include all of them! Aaaack!! Thoughts anyone?
Jessica Lopez Ignore any feeling of obligation and stick with the 6 people that are "your people." You have two great reasons not to include these three women and you really have no obligation to include someone just because they invited you to be in their party.
Already picked out my bridal party.. I just love Jamie's energy! Happy to report my small little bridal party (4 on each side) does fit in the guidelines Jamie gave!
I honestly will probably have twenty to thirty people in my bridal party. Because I have tried over and over to cut and narrow down the list it's impossible for me. I know that just because they're not in the wedding party doesn't mean I don't care about them but I know for myself I can't cut down the list. All of these people I've known a year or more and some of them my entire life. That's just me and when the time comes I hope to make that work.
I know this is a late comment but first, I love watching your videos they are helping me a lot plan my wedding. Second, I'd like to add, our dog is going to be our ring bearer and looking at about 4 groomsmen and bridesmaids. We have around 50 people we are looking to invite, so pretty small lol. I cannot wait, thank your for the help and inspiration!
Unfortunately, of all the girls i want in my bridal party, only 1 lives near me. But we're in texas, so "near" is literally 4 hours away. The rest live across the country in Minnesota. Since i want to invite way more people to the wedding than my husband anyhow, he agreed we could have the wedding in MN. We acknowledged i would be far more devastated than he would be if my guests couldnt fly across the country. But that also means we have to plan a destination wedding :( i have 0 clue who to elect as my maid of honor, one of the girls i have a much longer friendship with in MN or the only girl in TX whom I have the newest friendship with but see and talk to the most consistently. Its so hard 😢❤
I currently have 13 bridesmaids and my fiance has 7 groomsmen and we are considering adding more 🤯 his sisters will stand on his side so we currently will have 10 people on each side but all the girls will come to my events and the men will go to his events. It's kinda crazy...
Such an exceptionally thorny subject for the bride especially ime anyway ~ That said thank goodness that’s not in my culture though not necessarily completely unheard of either phew.
Could you do a video on the engagement party? What should be involved in it and should we invite those in the “B list” to the engagement party since they won’t really be invited to the wedding?
Picking the bridal party has been the biggest struggle of wedding planning so far out of everything I've done for the wedding the past 5 months 😧 I would say it's a topic more people should talk about ...
Our bridal party is all our children. We each have 4 from a previous marriage. No dealing with adults and their opinions or worrying about them getting offended because they aren’t part of the party.
& Ring bearer pets! ♡ In my case bc im having a beach wedding so my fiances youngest brother but not a tiny child is gonna carry a cute tray with the rings and a photo of my son (my cat) haha (We arent doing flower girl bc of the beach + no kids under 12. :D)
Our bridal party will be: Bride: maid of honour, 2 bridesmaids, 2 bridesmen (my brother and my male best friend)-5 Groom: 3 groomsmen and a groomsmaid (his sister) - 4 I thought it was silly bridal parties are usually divided by gender - we are both very close to our siblings and I think it's nice they stand by our side. Flowergirl is my 14 year old cousin Ring bearers are our dog and our pet sheep, haha!
Love your videos!! I’m not even engaged but I know it’s in the near future and I want to be prepared because I know how my family is. Lol. My bf and I want to opt for a no bridal party, and have our immediate families enter, almost like a parade, before we enter the ceremony. So they still get to feel part of it, but no hurt feelings for being selective with the bridal party.
I literally have like 2 friends
Same here! 😌
Same. I asked my best friend and future SIL. That's it.
Glad I’m not alone on that 😂
I said this too. Then I joined a sorority, and added someone who has two sisters in addition to my own. Now I ma trying to cut from 11 to 6. Oof
Same
My sister was so against being a bridezilla that she refused to stress even when she should have at least a little bit. Her planner was SO incompetent and when i tried to help she shut me down saying she wasn't going to stress about it. Result: WEEK OF THE WEDDING, there's no list with all the guests names, there's no music for the processional, there's no timeline for the party, the bouquet was completely forgotten, and a million things like that. And as she didn't want to stress herself out, I did EVERYTHING for her. Gave her my own wedding playlist, called around to sort out the little things, begged the florist to take some flowers from the centerpieces for the bouquet and all that. Come the wedding day she had 22 people in her bridal party. To say that I felt unimportant and rejected while her husband's friends' girlfriends were standing beside her in bridesmaids photos is an understatement. Not that I wanted special attention, but being by my sister's side in at least *one* of the pictures of the bridal party would have been nice.
Why didn't she choose you?
I'm also really that that happened. You seem like an amazing sister!
@@Gigi-bo3zr thank you so much 💗 i was one of the bridesmaids but every time something happened her friends would flock around her and literally push me away 😅 i got over it eventually but i'm still salty about it
I’m having a really small wedding. My dogs are actually the best man and maid of honor(:
That's adorable. Our labrador puppy is our ring bearer. We'll see how that goes lol
Not engaged yet, but I'm 99% sure my boyfriend recently bought a ring. Secretly planning stuff and bigning these videos 🤫 I would LOVE to have our St. Bernard be the ring bearer and have a little carrying box on his neck/collar 😍
He scheduled a day of hiking with my best friend and then gave away that it is actually an impromptu photo shoot in my hometown because he was all excited about what I was going to wear to go hiking 😅🤦🏼♀️ .... I wonder what could possibly be important enough for a photo shoot 🤔
That’s adorable
That sounds perfect!
I love how we already picked out our bridal party but I watched this anyway. Haha I just can’t NOT watch a Jamie Wolfer video!
girl you literally have a video for EVERYTHING! Not even engaged, I just find your videos so entertaining and informative lol
Sometimes I wish all brides watched your channel. I am a bridesmaid and was not forewarned that I would be paying all the things I paid for or that I had to take 4 days off from work to be a bridesmaid. I will definitely be warning my bridesmaids what i expect before they accept and also trying to make sure I am not asking for too much!
sbtesta Same! And I had already agreed to it and months later did I find out it was going to be so costly and time consuming. I felt awful for having to back out so late in the process
As a potential BRIDE I'm not sure even i can take off 4 days of work lol... This all seems like so much
I find it so interesting that in America you have such large bridal parties, in the UK the couple are expected to pay for the dresses/attire/anything else for the bridesmaid and groomsmen so they're often much smaller. I love seeing the differences between the two types of weddings
I think it's a bit in the middle here in Australia. I don't think there's as many activities and responsibilities given to the maid of honour here, but they might pay for their own dresses. It's definitely heading more towards the American trends though, I never knew anyone who had a bridal shower until recently, everyone I know before that just had the hen's night. Or hen's weekend if they could manage it.
We are paying for our bridal parties attire because only one of them live here and they already have to pay travel expenses.
@@JamieWolfer it really should be the couple paying for their bridal party’s attire. It’s a relatively new thing to expect people to pay for that sort of thing.
We’re having four on each side. Two of my bridesmaids are my sisters and the other two are my best friends and they’re my maid and matron of honor. I definitely wanted to keep it small. We ran into major politics when I did not ask my future sister in law, but I don’t regret it because we never have gotten along and it’s just constant jealousy in her end. She’s already attempted to sabotage our wedding twice and I’m just NOT about to involve her in my day with that behavior haha. I think I’m ultimately going to be really glad I chose to do this the way I did!
Good move
Good job standing your ground
Any tips for non-social brides who have just 1 person they want in their side when their social butterfly of a fiancé will have at least 5? lol
Are his groomsmen mutual friends or just his friends? If they are your friends too, then "steal" a couple to your side. Or if you or he have any close sisters or cousins, ask them. Or just have your one. There are no set rules that the numbers have to be even, or that you even have to have a bridal party stand with ya'll. It will be a day for you two, do what makes ya'll happy.
Google “uneven bridal parties”. It’s fine :). Your wedding day is about you two. If you have one person you want and fiancé has 5, then that’s what you should do! Much better than finding another 4 ransoms to “balance it out”
We have the opposite problem ! Lol my fiancé joked saying he was gonna have his best man walk with all my bridesmaids !
Haha I’m the opposite. I want to ask 5 girls and my fiancé has one best friend.
I conveyed my minimal expectations to my bridal party (my siblings and my bff -- I have a lot of sisters I couldn't not ask to be in the party I and preferred to keep my party small), and they still gave me pushback about literally everything and didn't even plan me a bachelorette party )= I talked about budgets when them, the color I wanted their dresses, the one style I did not want them to wear, the boutique we would shop at after determining budgets, and tried to say what I wanted for the bridal and bachelorette parties, and every single time they caused me stress and didn't listen to me (especially my mom, who decided she was in the bridal party and took over planning everything about planning the bridal shower, which she insisted had to be a surprise without asking me for even my availability), and I had to plan my own bachelorette party because I found out 5 or 6 weeks out from the wedding that beyond one very brief conversation, my bridal party didn't discuss it at all. I felt so small learning that and finding out from my MOH what my own sisters were saying about me behind my back. My personal recommendation would be to make sure you have a friend on board who can take charge, especially if you have a pushy family or members of the party who are passive people.
If you're up for it, I'd love to see a full video about not having a bridal party! Thanks :)
I wasn’t concerned about the amount of friends I had until it came to wedding planning...
Same. Not engaged yet but I have no friends right now. All my high school relationships faded away. And I haven't made any friends in real life since. In fact I may end up inviting some people I know online to my wedding which I think might be weird cause no one else knows them besides my boyfriend.
@@ramblingmillennial1560 It's OK. If your boyfriend has friends, you'll be friends with them too.
I don't have many friends either (like, 3 friends of mine at 37, plus some new friends I've just made through my fiancé). Nobody cares. Just invite people both of you like and enjoy the party.?
I’m not having a bridal party for my wedding this October. I want everyone to come as a guest and not have to worry about a certain dress or doing extra jobs!
Also, love that you touched on declining an invite. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I knew I didn’t have the money and mental health for that commitment, but she understood and it was a beautiful wedding! 💗
This 👏🏻 right 👏🏻 here👏🏻
My fiancé and I got engaged March 3rd of this year. Do you know how long we were engaged before he started asking groomsmen to be part of our special day? ONE HOUR. Just ONE! Now, guess what we’re dealing with 6 months later? We have a groomsman that had a child and has to back out due to those obligations (Obviously, this is completely understandable and we encouraged him to come as a guest without the pressures of being in the bridal party. He was relieved and thankful that we were understanding of his situation, thank goodness.), one groomsman hasn’t spoken to my fiancé in a couple of months and then there’s another that my fiancé has decided he would rather swap out for someone he is closer with. What an absolute mess. 😅 Thankfully, I’ve convinced him not to ask anyone else until at least a year out from our wedding.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't want to have a wedding at all, but my fiance convinced me otherwise. And one of the biggest points of contention between he and I at the very beginning of the wedding planning process was the bridal party. I didn't want one, he did. After I explained to him everything that would be involved with having a bridal party (picking out suits for the men, deciding on dresses for the women, rehersals, flowers, boutonnieres, etc.) he very quickly agreed with me that we didn't need the headache, nor did we want to force that headache on our friends. For some people, the wedding party is important and this video helps with making that decision. For other people like us, if it's not for you or doesn't make logical sense (we're only having about 50 people attending our wedding), then you can scrap it.
Hello my favorite wedding planner. I think this was the hardest part of my wedding. I only had a maid of honor for a long time. I think the hardest part was people who just assumed I was going to-ask them to be in my wedding 😒. My future sister n law was very upset that I did not ask her or her kids to be in our wedding but in the end it was about us and not them and it all worked out.
I'm really glad to hear it all worked out for you ❤️ managing family expectations, I've found, is definitely the most difficult part of it
I have a brother and a sister, my fiance has a brother. My sister is the maid of honor and his brother is the best man. No one else! We have two people in our party and I am really happy with the low key-ness of it all. I am hoping it will feel more intimate that way. OH and my brother is ordained so he will be marrying us! :)
Our nieces and nephews are our flower girls and ring bearers. We decided that instead of shelling out for a small suit or fancy dress, we asked the kids to come as super heroes! They are super, Haha!, excited and will be much happier in costumes!
Number 3 is my favourite tip. So important to look back on photos and see people you love and not people you no longer speak with beside you. For this reason I'm having my sister, my best friend and my sister-in-law to be who I get along with awesomly.
I have 3 brothers and my fiancé has 4 brothers. We have no sisters. So he’ll have 6 groomsmen, and I’ll have 3 bridesmaids and 3 bridesmen 😂😂
I love that you are having your brothers in your group! I never understood why people choose to include siblings by gender instead of relationship.
I might do something like this! I have 3 brothers and he has 3, plus a couple friends he wants to include 🙈
Salena Wilhelm yeah, I don’t have much of a choice lol I don’t have 7 close friends 🤷🏼♀️
My brother will be my 'man of honor' I never really understood why it had to be gender specific on each side if you're close with someone and want them in your bridal/groom party then do it no matter their gender or if it's against 'tradition'
Hey! Can everyone help me out a little!? My fiancé and I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, none. *We* have none. I do have one best friend I want up there with me and he wants his dad as his best man and he wants to leave it at that. But I have 3 brothers that I also want up there with me, and 2 of them have fiancés that are like sisters to me that I would want up there too(I'm also a bridesmaid for both of them). He has 2 sisters, a brother, and a brother in law, but would only want the b-i-l. So he would have his dad and b-i-l, while I would have my best friend, 3 brothers, and the 2 fiancés. I hope y'all followed me, I'm sorry it's so long. My question is, 1) is that too much? And 2) if I ask the two fiancés, since they're technically not my sisters, do I have to ask his sisters too?
My husband & I got married March 29th. He had his best friend as best man, his close female cousin as Honorable Lady, & his son as a groomsman. I had my 2 adult daughters as MOHs, my 2 grandsons gave me away (both parents are deceased) & 3 youngest grands as bridesmaids & groomsman. It was OUR day & we broke all the "rules". Thanks for your videos, Jamie...they rock!
My sister isn't my maid of honor simply because she is a freshman in college this year. She has so much going on with being away from home for the first time and having the first taste of adulthood. She doesn't have time do anything a maid of honor is expected to do. She's also only 18 going on 19, she can't even go out with us for my bachelorette. Legally. I've also asked her about her feelings on it and she said that she doesn't even WANT to be maid of honor for all of those same reasons. She is a bridesmaid and picked out the dresses she and my other bridesmaids will wear and she's perfectly fine.
Sounds like you included her perfectly!
Sounds nice. I was the maid of honor for my sister's wedding. At the time I was a senior in high school and living on opposite sides of the country. I missed her bridal shower by a few hours due to travel delays. I wasn't able to help her plan very well, but as far as I know, we were both happy she was getting married and I was there for her.
And plus I don’t think I would ever make my bridesmaids think they have all these responsibilities... just find a dress in this color scheme and that’s it we can have the lowest cost of a bachelorette party locally idk what else I would have to ask from them!
But what are the traditional responsibilities of a bridesmaid and maid of honor? I’m American and all but I’ve never been in a bridal party anddd haven’t gone to too many weddings and I’m also a bad Millenial who doesn’t know about all these things lmao like aside from planning the bachelorette party and obvs being there the day of the wedding what else is there?
When my friends C and D got married, C (the bride) had about 10 bridespeople (1 a bridesman, her brother in a shirt the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses; the rest were bridesmaids, including but not limited to her sisters) while D (the groom) had about 5 groomsman. If I recall correctly, the wedding party walked out 3 at a time, with 2 bridesfolk per groomsman.
When my friends B and K got married, B (the bride) had 2 bridesmaids while K (the groom) had 2 groomsmen.
When my friends A and K got married, they had a flower girl (I don't know how they know her) and their just-a -few-years-younger brothers as ring bearers.
My Fiancé has 8 guys and he went out right away and told everyone they could be bridesmaids. So after a year of drama I just have his sister and niece. Personally I would rather have none but they are excited. I have found bridesmaids are just work. As always thank you for your videos, the brides in my group love them!
So far I've asked my cousin to be my maid of honor, and I don't think I need more than that. My future sister in law is on my "decor crew" and a good friend is helping plan the back yard shindig/hog roast for later in the week. I guess they count as part of the "bride tribe" even if they aren't all standing with me on the day.
Can you make a video of different ways to incorporate people in the wedding without making them a bridesmaid / groomsmen?
I know this video is older, but I figured why not just take a shot in the dark. My future sis in law is my best friend and will be my MOH. My twin cousins (one of which I am a bridesmaid for her wedding) are my bridesmaids. I know I may get some negativity in not having my own sister in my party, but it’s because our relationship is off and on... and she is exhausting to be around. Her personality is so different than mine and although I love her, she sucks the life out of me. Should I be feeling the guilt of not having her up there with me or can I still be a good person and not have her in my party?
I was a groomsmen for my sisters wedding. l live in Florida and she lives in California. The only thing i attended was the Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding. My sister had a bachelorette party for her bridesmaids and maid of honor (there were only a total of 3 of them). I don't think my brother-in-law had a bachelor party.
Do a video about bachelor/bachelorette parties and other events involved (wedding showers, engagement parties, etc) pretty please!
My fiance has no friends, and will not have a best man/woman. I have tried not to pressure him at all because we're having a small wedding of maybe 15 people, but I am having my sis as my maid of honor.
It made me feel better to hear that your sister was your maid of honor, even though she wasn’t close and couldn’t make it to everything. The only person I could see being my maid of honor is my best friend since kindergarten, but she moved to Arizona and I am in Michigan. I’m stressed about something happening and her not being able to make it.
I’m having 10 and he’s having 7! I’ve been soooo stressed about this because I don’t want it to look weird.. but he can either add people he knows he won’t be friends with forever or have the people he really wants. This made me feel a little better though! Just hoping no one talks about it 🙄
Please do a Jr. Bridesmaid?!
There’s no clear video or article. I rlly need this, ty 😊
For me, most of my bridesmaids would not have been able to afford to be in my wedding. So I made the choice to spend part of the wedding budget on their dresses and a few other things they would need for the wedding. It was more important to me that they were there with me than for me to spend that money on other things that were less important.
Love this advice! PS - would love more inclusive language. There isn't always a "groom" side and while I know a lot of the wedding industry is centred around bride vs. groom, it would be great to hear "bride and bride" from time to time!
I understand where your coming from but it can get kind of confusing to say bride and bride or groom and groom. When throwing a lot of information at you all at once it can trip up. Unless its bride a and bride b. Sometimes bride and groom will help deliver the message in a clear way
My best friend I met in 7th grade, my other best friend I met around when I graduated high school (12 years ago), my fiancé’s sister, my sister, and another friend of mine I have been friends with since 2010. Havnt asked anyone yet but that’s who I want. And my first best friend from 7th grade will be my maid of honor.
Update. Fiancé sister won’t be. Mostly because she didn’t invite me to be a bridesmaid in hers. She was going to have me walk in the wedding at least and didn’t even have that. We do clash sometimes which also could be negative because she might try to take control. So just 4 people. Just made my proposal boxes.
no official bridal party for me. just my bestfriend as my maid of honor and my gals. If they want to help out with somethings great, if not i'm happy if they're down for a party
So good to hear. In Switzerland Bridal Parties aren‘t really a thing / aren’t traditional... I grew up in California the first few years of my life. And I still want to have Bridesmaids & Groomsmen. I think it’s just awesome and a great way to share the responsibility and some of the tasks that come along with wedding planning. And also you can show everyone that these are special people in your life. But I know a lot of couples who didn’t have a bridal party and it worked just fine.
My fiance and I are planning this out still. We have many more gal friends than guys, so we are going to have "bridesmaids" and "bride tribe" for pretty much all of the reasons mentioned. My maid of honor lives a couple states away, so she won't be able to help out as much. And I do not want people to feel obligated to spend money they don't have. But I will be asking them to help me out especially if they live close to me and the venue (just... Without the obligations).
I have 4 bridesmaids and my Fiance has 4 groomsmen. For a while he didn't know who he was picking and may have only had 2 or 3. I have about 10 female friends and I didn't want to have to chose 1 over the others. So we decided that if he only had 2 then I would pick 1 and have my brother on my side. It all ended up working out but I wouldn't have been opposed to having my brother on my side with me.
I would like to add, many people now work on weekends. It’s a super common thing. And it can be difficult to get time approved off of work for every single event. So if someone has a job where they are required to work weekends, they may not be able to go to every event.
My fiancé and I will be at the alter with just one person on each of our sides (his twin and one of my best friends-who set us up on a blind date). But! I have a very large group of friends/family in my ‘bride tribe’ (19, in total...some very local, some on different contents) so I’ve asked all to partake in whatever they’re able to and to wear similar colors on the wedding day so we can take group photos. The wedding will be at my parents 2 acre property so the morning of getting ready in the home is *hopefully going to be open-ended and easy for everyone too.
When I get married I know for sure I will include my 3 sisters, 2 of my closest girlfriends, my husband to be had a sister(s) I may include at least one, and finally I’m considering adding my cousin as a junior bridesmaid. As far as ring bearers and flower girls I would choose my little cousins who are actually the 3 younger siblings of the junior bridesmaids as one of the flower girls and her little two brothers as my ring bearers and for my final flower girl one my bridesmaids is having a little girl soon and I would actually pick her.
i am hoping for both of us to keep a small group for our bridal party. hopefully 6 at the most. this was helpful theres a lot of things i’ve always wondered about all of the bridal party details and expectations!
I'm not having a bridal party. It's just too much pressure on everyone. Also, both of my closest friends will have very young children by the time we get married. They will be my bridesmaids in spirit without the obligations.
We are getting married in 19 days eeee! We each have 5, I have 2 close friends, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my childhood best friend. He has his older brother as BM and friends. We kept it simple with rentals for the suit wearers and my 2 ladies just had to stick with the color scheme (black) but style/length/shoes etc doesn't matter. I always enjoy your content, thank you!
I have four bridesmaids (all from the same group of friends to keep things simple) and there's also four groomsmen :) I allowed him to pick his number first then I selected mine
Thank you :)
Loving your videos!! I'm quite newly engaged and struggling with who to pick as I'm Australian and my fiancé is Irish so we're planning to get married and live in Ireland. I want my sisters as bridesmaids and they'll be in Australia so I'm totally realistic that they won't be able to help as much which I'm ok with because I still want them apart of the wedding. But I'd like at least one person, I guess like a maid of honour, to be in Ireland and be able to help me with things like dress shopping or fun wedding diys but I don't have anyone I'm that close with... My fiancé has 3 sisters but I'm not that close with them and couldn't include one and not all three and I have a few friends in Ireland but none I'm that close to so feel like I'd be forcing it a bit to ask them, you know? Anyway, whinge over 😂
We are getting married this September (I'm 100% binge watching everything u post) our wedding party is my little sister (maid of honor), my FH' s best friend (best man), and our 3 young daughters joining us as well. I'm doing everything myself so the less complicated the better💕
Can you do a video on having no wedding party pros/cons? Have you ever had a wedding like this?
We are just going to have my kids double as ringbearer/flower girl and bridal party. We have both moved around a lot in our lives and though we have quite a few acquaintances and get along with most people, we are quite private people with few deep friendships. We are planning a small affair with family and a few close friends
I just got engaged last weekend and we are getting married November 6, 2021. We’ve already decided on 4 people on each side for our bridal party, 10 people total including us. We haven’t asked them yet, as we still have about 2 years before the wedding. But we can’t stop wedding planning 👰🏽👨🏽⚖️💍
This is actually what I've stressed out the most about while planning my wedding! (3 months so far in planning) I have 3 older sisters all whom I'm now close to. My future sister in law who've I gotten close to. My best friend, who lives in Tennessee, who I haven't seen in years but talk to once a month. I have a friend who considers me to be her bestfriend but the feeling isnt nessicarily reciprocated, but she considers my best friend her best friend as well *awk*. And a friend who I use to be close to, where I'm going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
My fiance only has 4-5 guys in mind for groomsmen & I've always wanted a small bridal party. I considered just having my sisters and not having a MOH. But I want one. Its a difficult situation for me lol I tend to feel obligated to people when in reality its MY wedding and I shouldnt have to please everyone
Omg!! Similar type of dilemma and how to figure out who to ask. My fiancé and I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, none. *We* have none. I have one best friend I want up there with me and he wants his dad as his best man and he wants to leave it at that. But I have 3 brothers that I also want up there with me, and 2 of them have fiancés that are like sisters to me that I would want up there too(I'm also a bridesmaid for both of them). He has 2 sisters, a brother, and a brother in law, but would only want the b-i-l. So he would have his dad and b-i-l, while I would have my best friend, 3 brothers, and the 2 fiancés. So I'd have 6 to his 2 which I guess is okay, but it's just so much to think about. It's so stressful!
I can’t choose between two of my best friends for the maid of honor so they’re both going to be one. I’ll have 6 in the bridal party all together. My boyfriend is having 3 best men cause he can’t choose either! They’re all equally influential in his life. He’s going to have 6 in his party as well.
Very interesting topic because here in France it's not a common practice to have a bridal party ! I've never even been to a wedding where there were bridesmaids or groomsmen ! I know, shocking lol Some people do it now, but I think it's more of a trend inspired from american weddings. Here, when there are "bridesmaids", they really are not expected to do as much as yours are, if that makes sense ? :) one of my friend was once a bridesmaid, and she was asked to organize the bachelorette party, which is by no means easy but she had nothing special to do on the wedding day. So I like to watch your videos and learn more about other people's ways to do things :)
I was going to ask if you could give a refresher to this video but after watching this video you have definitely helped me out. I’m trying to plan for a small wedding but have 14 ppl in the bridal party and I thought woah this is way too much but it makes the friend dynamic equal. And your last rule is what make things clear for me. Thank you Jamie!!
My fiance and I are having a bridal party of 3 lol. His brother is the best man and my best friend is the MOH and my other friend is the bridesmaid. The best man is gonna have one woman on each arm haha hes gonna feel like such a stud.
We’re planning for a tiny ceremony with only immediate family and close friends. I will technically have a bridal party, but they will be seated day of because otherwise half of our guests would be standing with us. We’re really excited to have people to plan and party with us, but we’re also happy they get to relax on the big day with our families.
There was never any question with my bridesmaids! My best friend of 13 years as my maid of honor, my sisters and my cousin as my bridesmaids. My FH had a little more trouble figuring out his groomsmen
As always, such great hair! 💁🏼♀️ loved the video, especially the rule of...forget the rules xo
I already have four sisters and two brothers, we as sisters promised each other that we would all go be each other’s bridesmaids but never be maids of honour as that would leave someone out every time.
But then I also want friends to be in my bridal party! It’s gonna be so huge!😂
My best friend since childhood didn't have a bridal party. My boyfriend and I and great friends with both her and her husband, but she had said that once he was involved in a friends wedding, and it cost them almost a $1000 so she didn't want to do that to any of their friends. To each their own, but I've always been bummed out I never got to be my best friends bridesmaid.
so me and my partner are looking at being engaged in the next coming 4months and he has all his groomsmen and I realized I have like zero close friends. I have friends who I love and see once in while cause we are all busy but they arent like close. he has like 4-5 groomsmen he wants and im like.... i go maybe 1 person who is close. I honestly dont know what to do.
Andrea D maybe just don’t have the groomsmen stand behind your partner during the ceremony. They can still get pictures with them before or after, and they can still have the title of groomsmen, but that might take some stress off of you to find more people that you may not necessarily want in your party.
I don’t have close female friends or a sister, and so I’m slightly stuck on who to invite to be a bridesmaid or even maid of honor. I feel pressures to have bridesmaids, but my friends are my fiance’s friends and all of them are going to be included on his side. Is it unheard of to just have a bridal party without the individuals being tied to either side? I’m thinking of doing this to keep me from feeling so bad.
I think it would be fine to have a "non-defined" or sided bridal party. It's nice to have everyone rally around the couple with no divisions. You don't even need anyone to stand behind you and your husband at the ceremony if you don't want it.
You guys could share the people. Also, I'm using my brothers as Bridesmen so make up your own rules
Lexi S. Girl it’s the same for me. I’m not getting married soon but we’d like to sometime in the future. I live a pretty isolated life cause I have a chronic illness that keeps me at home, and unfortunately I’ve lost basically all of my friends. I’d imagine if we do get married I’d consider his two sisters as my bridesmaids. I think he’d have more groomsmen though.
Lexi S. That’s what my partner and I are doing, since we have the same friend group! Remember it is your wedding. There are no rules my dude
Same here! I have my sister and best friend who I've both know since I was 3. He has three groomsmen and the officiant who is also a close friend.
I've had the most anxiety over picking my bridal party so I'm glad I've made my choice and I'm super happy with it. I stuck with my three closest friends from University, and since we make up our own little gang I've decided against adding someone else since we've hung out just the four of us so much that people tend to feel left out when we get together. In the last year or so we haven't been as close due to an arsehole boyfriend but we've already started patching things up now that we're all on the same team again. It's all I wished for when I decided to stick with my Uni gang and I'm so happy. I've explained the situation to other close friends and they totally understand. I'm still including them in the planning so that they don't feel left out just cause they're not officially in the party. Now I just feel like I've got to go and get myself another guy friend so that my only close manfriend doesn't feel singeled out on my bachelorette as the token gay guy. Is there anything I can be anxious about that I'm not? No? No. 🤷
Also this is the best idea ever! A sparkler first dance!! instagram.com/p/BAi-2aaSyhg/?igshid=1xbu6ki2yykvl
We have decided to keep it strictly family for our party - I do not have siblings so my two closest cousins will be my bridesmaids and his two brothers will be his groomsmen.. We are also having two ring bearers, a little girl and boy.
I live in Texas.
My Matron of Honor lives in upstate New York.
My Maid of Honor lives in (wait for it...) Australia!
And my bridesmaid I see five days a week as she's my coworker.
I've spoken to my bridesmaid, and she has agreed to be my Acting Maid of Honor.
What can I say, I don't like "easy." Hahaha!
I love that you have a matron of honor and a maid of honor! My sister will be my matron of honor, and I figured the rest would be bridesmaids, but I might decide to have a maid of honor as well. Thank you for the idea!
I was literally just thinking you needed to make a video like this YESTERDAY!
I just got engaged and I found your videos and have been binge watching since 1 am it’s now 4:45 am 🤦🏻♀️
I would love to see the pics of you and your wedding party! We’re going to have 20 in ours and I was wondering what that looked like in pics. Thank you!! :)
Seriously though, my fiancé was like we should elope and small wedding. now that we are planning our guest list and bridal party count went up because he keeps adding to it! lol they're so cute.
Thank you SO much! This is exactly what I am dealing with right now! He wants it to be balanced, but that means scrapping one of my friends.. now I can jusy go: "Well, JAMIE says..." 😋
My partner and I are not engaged, but we've talked about weddings a lot. We know we have a lot of shared friends and are kind nontraditional, so we're thinking about just having a wedding party instead of a bridal/grooms party and let our friends pick a side to stand on.
Can you do a video on ushers? I saw maybe one thing about them on pintrest and we have two guys that are gonna be ushers but have no idea what they are supposed to do. Please and thank you! Love your videos!!!
My parents are trying to pressure me into asking my future sister in law to be my bridesmaid... But this is very awkward for me. I had my bridesmaids picked out in my mind literally months before we even got engaged. I've always known I didn't want loads of them - I'm having my best friend as maid of honour. My currently sister in law (brothers wife who I'm very close with and see, on my own and go for days out with, as a great friend), and my mums best friends daughter - who is a couple of years older than me and whom I literally grew up with, I've known her since I was born! - those 2 are my other bridesmaids. Just the 3 in total. I asked them months ago today be my bridesmaids and they all said yes which I'm so happy and excited about
Anyway, fast forward to last week... My mum and dad call me to ask how our wedding planning is going. They then tell me that my younger brothers fiance will feel left out if she is not bridesmaid too. She's a lovely person and I get on really well with her, I just don't want her to be my bridesmaid. I told them this, and told them truthfully that if I was having another bridesmaid there is no way I'd ask her without also having to ask my fella's sister too. Who arguably I get on with better than anyone else after my 3 special women... I pointed out how unfair it is. I also said very clearly I do not want 5 bridesmaids. So my parents changed tack and said why don't me and my fiancé give those two women, the future sister in laws on each side, who I didn't ask to be in my bridal party, another job to do and a dress to wear which is the same as each other (and maybe a diff colour as the Bridesmaids). I said we can't afford that. My parents said they'll pay for their dresses... I told my fiancé and he said no way. I've chosen the ladies I want and that's it. He said in fact asking his sister and my younger brothers fiancé to be honourary Bridesmaids with some random made up job for them will feel like an afterthought. And it'll be worse, significantly worse to do that to them than it would be to just not have them at all. They are wedding guests. They are special to us.
I feel that it's unfair of my parents to try to influence my decisions on it... It's not something I just threw together, I thought carefully about each of my Bridesmaids and I'm so happy with my choice.
My parents are worried about people feeling left out but everyone is adults... So surely they'll be fine...?
Rant over 😂 I'd be interested to know what the rest of you think and particularly Jamie if you do get to see this comment?
I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding, and it was probably the most awkward experience of my life. I had met his fiance MAYBE twice before he (not even her) asked me to be one. I was the only one with a kid, and I lived out of town. And these women had all been friends with each other for years. They wanted to have the bachelorette party in Vegas so they could party & drink (neither of which was something I was into...even if I could have afforded to go...which I couldn't), and it was just completely obvious that the ONLY reason I was asked to be in it was because I was the groom's sister. It was awful.
I’m in the same boat you were...my fiancé asked 6 people right away! And I barely had 3 people to ask... I added a few people but then I had some drop out so he still has 6 and I have 4.
I have 4 girls on my side, my cousin, 2 of my best friends, and my sister is my maid of honor. Ive had them picked out from the beginning. My fiancé doesn't have many friends or family members. He asked his best friend to be his best man and that was it. I was freaking out about how lopsided it was going to look. He finally did ask one more friend so I'm a little less stressed.
I would love some advice on making a small wedding work, and what to do when families don't get along that well - I recently got engaged and am struggling with both of these issues and have failed to find much advice here on the tube, thanks!! 💚
I actually get that too, about small weddings, it's hard to picture how it will work because so much of the typical wedding revolves around a lot of people and stuff happening.
I wouldn't want more than 50 people, no bridal party, no bouquet toss or garter stuff, no grand entrances, no first dances, no speeches, no fuss whatsoever. Just the people we love most having a good time together. There's really no frame of reference in our culture for that type of event that I can think of.
Restaurants with a small function room and chuck a cake in a corner is all I can come up with haha
I don't have any ideas for dealing with families, because I haven't done it yet, but my parents haven't been able to be in the same room for 15 years, so I kinda feel your pain 😬
Good luck sorting it out
@@JamieWolfer thankyou! When I mean small I mean under 20 guests so it's going to be pretty intense - I'd love some advice on reception ideas because alot of the 'norm' traditions aren't going to be as needed with so little people eg. big sit down meal, cake cutting, speeches, first dance etc. Would love to hear any ideas as I'm stumped - plus as I mentioned both sides don't really like each other .. so tricky, we were going to throw the towel in and elope but I think I'll miss everyone too much. Sorry so complicated!!
I'm not even engaged!! LOL! But, if I were, if my fiance had sisters, I'd love for them to be my bridesmaids. My perfect number is 7; I don't know why but I feel like that's just the right number for me - 1 maitron (or maid) of honor, six bridesmaids. And while some people are fine with having an uneven number of groomsmen and bridesmaids, I'm not. Lol. I definitely want an even number. Love the idea of having adorable little girls dressed up to toss flowers. Anyway, that's the way I want to do it. If someone else doesn't want to, I have no condemnation for them. To each their own.
When I get married I’m having a man of honour because my most loyal and closest friend is male🤷🏻♀️
I had two of my daughters as maids of honor and my husband had one of my daughters and his best friend as "best men" 🤣
Love these videos! Thank you for posting them! My present dilemma is that I’ve already chosen my bridesmaids, a mix of my family, a couple of his and now my total is 6. Totally happy with whom I’ve chosen! Problem is, mother-in-law was pressuring me to have his 3 brother’s girlfriends included so that we could become closer. I opted not to do this since 1-We didn’t mesh well, not close with them, and 2- I didn’t think they would mesh with my Bride Tribe. Monkey Wrench! Now, one of them decided to have a fast wedding (before ours :-l ) and has asked me to be a part of her wedding. Nooooooo! 😩 Now I feel a little obligated to include her in mine, but if I do, I’d have to include all of them! Aaaack!! Thoughts anyone?
Jessica Lopez Ignore any feeling of obligation and stick with the 6 people that are "your people." You have two great reasons not to include these three women and you really have no obligation to include someone just because they invited you to be in their party.
Already picked out my bridal party.. I just love Jamie's energy! Happy to report my small little bridal party (4 on each side) does fit in the guidelines Jamie gave!
I honestly will probably have twenty to thirty people in my bridal party. Because I have tried over and over to cut and narrow down the list it's impossible for me. I know that just because they're not in the wedding party doesn't mean I don't care about them but I know for myself I can't cut down the list. All of these people I've known a year or more and some of them my entire life. That's just me and when the time comes I hope to make that work.
I know this is a late comment but first, I love watching your videos they are helping me a lot plan my wedding. Second, I'd like to add, our dog is going to be our ring bearer and looking at about 4 groomsmen and bridesmaids. We have around 50 people we are looking to invite, so pretty small lol. I cannot wait, thank your for the help and inspiration!
What should I do if I don't really know many close girl friends to be my bridesmaids?? Right now I only have 2 bridesmaids.. Please help.
Unfortunately, of all the girls i want in my bridal party, only 1 lives near me. But we're in texas, so "near" is literally 4 hours away. The rest live across the country in Minnesota.
Since i want to invite way more people to the wedding than my husband anyhow, he agreed we could have the wedding in MN. We acknowledged i would be far more devastated than he would be if my guests couldnt fly across the country. But that also means we have to plan a destination wedding :( i have 0 clue who to elect as my maid of honor, one of the girls i have a much longer friendship with in MN or the only girl in TX whom I have the newest friendship with but see and talk to the most consistently.
Its so hard 😢❤
I currently have 13 bridesmaids and my fiance has 7 groomsmen and we are considering adding more 🤯 his sisters will stand on his side so we currently will have 10 people on each side but all the girls will come to my events and the men will go to his events.
It's kinda crazy...
Such an exceptionally thorny subject for the bride especially ime anyway ~ That said thank goodness that’s not in my culture though not necessarily completely unheard of either phew.
Could you do a video on the engagement party? What should be involved in it and should we invite those in the “B list” to the engagement party since they won’t really be invited to the wedding?
What should you do if you have three friends who think they're bridesmaids? How do you tell them they're not bridesmaids?
Picking the bridal party has been the biggest struggle of wedding planning so far out of everything I've done for the wedding the past 5 months 😧 I would say it's a topic more people should talk about ...
Our bridal party is all our children. We each have 4 from a previous marriage. No dealing with adults and their opinions or worrying about them getting offended because they aren’t part of the party.
& Ring bearer pets! ♡
In my case bc im having a beach wedding so my fiances youngest brother but not a tiny child is gonna carry a cute tray with the rings and a photo of my son (my cat) haha
(We arent doing flower girl bc of the beach + no kids under 12. :D)
Our bridal party will be:
Bride: maid of honour, 2 bridesmaids, 2 bridesmen (my brother and my male best friend)-5
Groom: 3 groomsmen and a groomsmaid (his sister) - 4
I thought it was silly bridal parties are usually divided by gender - we are both very close to our siblings and I think it's nice they stand by our side.
Flowergirl is my 14 year old cousin
Ring bearers are our dog and our pet sheep, haha!
Watching your videos made my wedding go by so smoothly! Thank you!!!
Love your videos!! I’m not even engaged but I know it’s in the near future and I want to be prepared because I know how my family is. Lol. My bf and I want to opt for a no bridal party, and have our immediate families enter, almost like a parade, before we enter the ceremony. So they still get to feel part of it, but no hurt feelings for being selective with the bridal party.