Young & Hooked on Chemsex - documentary
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- čas přidán 18. 05. 2023
- The chemsex scene is a subculture within the gay community where men mix drugs like methamphetamine & GHB with sex to maximise pleasure and decrease inhibitions. This documentary is about three young men who share their experiences of what is going on in the hidden gay world in New Zealand.
The best doco on Chemsex from the Gay perspective. Very generous men for sharing their experiences so openly. 'Shame' seems to be the (unspoken) common denominator within many of us Gaymen who have used drugs as both a social lubricant and self-medication. If anyone watching this is fighting with addiction; from personal experience, two options are facing you: at some point you either need to choose to stop use and deal with all the underlying cause(s) OR the drugs will, at some point, effectively stop you themselves - be that through illness, crime or death.
I'm 20 years clean now - it's possible and very doable to stop using - even when it seems to be impossible!
Thank you for your comment. Your points are very similar to what I heard from these brave men. Congratulations on being clean for 20 years!
Thats awesome! Congratulations. Two addicts clean in my family, from heroin use. It truly is doable! Do it for you, do it for your family, just do it!
As a family member, I cannot tell you in words how hard it is to watch, and what a relief it is, a life changing relief for you family! I want to cry just thinking about those years. And for any family, hang in there, never give up, I know I nearly did; but I dearly love my family. I did have to draw a hard line at points, so you may too.
The use of meth and other drugs is rampant among the the gay men in my area in Spain. It has wrecked so many lives
Any one passed away?
I think 90 % of addiction is born from trauma of some sort. I worked in a prison for 3 years and almost all the addicts admitted to being sexualy or physically abused by a close friend or family member before the age of 10. Sadly drugs only mask the underlying cause of why the person uses in the first place. Very sad story!
And the really sad part is "treatment" is almost entirely focused on the drugs and other outward symptoms of trauma rather than seeking justice for the trauma or getting the person out of/changing the toxic environment (poverty, discrimination, abusive relationships, etc). These are largely sociological problems, not psychological ones. Drugs are an easy scapegoat when really they're nothing more than a (poor) coping tool for surviving in a cruel world run by psychopaths. No effort goes into preventing unnecessary suffering in this society.
Good book by Gabor Mate 'In the realm of hungry ghosts...' which speaks of this.
@@MsNooneinparticular exactly. Then they wonder why the recidivism rate is so high among inmates and addicts. Plus many who have been abused just continue the cycle by becoming an abuser themselves in an attempt to maintain some form of control. Like you said ... its a cruel world.
I think it depends. I've been sober for 2 years now and it's a mix of things when people talk about what led to their drug use. For me it was using it to self medicate my ADHD and aspergers. I never wanted to get obliterated really, just wanted to feel "normal". Now i've come to accept that I'm not like everyone else and being different isn't the end of the world. I've also met people who came from great families,no abuse and still became heroin addicts or alcoholics. I believe that genetics play a big role in addiction as well, which is why we see generations of addicts in families.
i was in treatment & halfway house for drink & drug addiction but the reason i kept going back, relapsing is because my internal dialogue, the voice(s) in my head would keep my attention going around in loops of thought that i now see as & call addictive thinking, because the mind is the source or beginning of addiction, while the body reacts to alcohol & drugs & can build a tolerance & become dependent & will suffer withdrawals when it's habitual dose is cut down or stopped, but it was my mind, the thoughts & accompanying imagery that kept me in a state of fight, flight &/or freeze, which would then set the stage for seeking relief, respite & solace from a drink &/or drugs.
reading & listening to Eckhart Tolle has been a game changer especially when it comes to me not relapsing, Tolle reminds me to watch what is going on in my head, to question that voice & what it's saying, & to not believe or just take for granted that what it's saying is true.
So I unfortunately do know why other people haven't commented- still taboo, still secretive, still shamed by people. Thank You to everyone involved with this video❤️🔥.
Ashamed for reason.F ing perverts
Lose the silly "so" as a preface for your brilliant wisdom. It's unnecessary, it's juvenile, it's fluff, it's trendfollowing, and oh yeah-- it's very simply wrong.
@@gavinvalentino6002what??
Me and my gf enjoy sex on X, LSD, SHROOMS, WIPPETS, POT and ALCOHOL. Sometimes on all of it at once. Sometimes sober. It really deepend out relationship and made it stronger. It's like FNMs The Real Thing
@@gavinvalentino6002nobody asked
I just ended a toxic relationship with someone ive loved for 3 years. He was on meth. Ive been clean off heroin and crack for years. I got drugged and gaslit. This documentary has helped me understand what i went through.
I am so happy to hear you quit the man and quit the drugs! You are an inspiration to others now! May you heal from your broken heart and never get in a relationship like that again. I was in an abusive relationship. That was my last relationship where i was abused. I see so many people end up in successive abusive relationships.
@primesspct2 hey thanks for the kind words. I'm here if you need to talk
R U female or gay?@@jkwellness1639
Insane I’ve never heard of this and I’ve been out almost 9 years. I’ve always heard of “ poppers “ and that but never these kind of stories. I’ve never had grindr, been to pride or hell even a bar and it’s so sad to hear these stories of what others have endured. The world is a scary place and being lonely with your own thoughts can be even scarier but it’s just horrible that at our lowest we can easily do things to just feel “ needed or important “ and still at the same time getting more hurt. Thoughts are with anyone who’s been through this and hope you find healing and happiness.
This was such a good documentary! Definitely something that doesn't get talked about enough. Bravo!
The guy with the mustache nailed it with his descriptions of the lifestyle. Although this is one of the best descriptions online of everything I’ve gone through myself I wish there were more success stories and how to succeed passed all this. One day! 😢❤ remember we are NOT the drug! It hijacks the brain and over time I feel our connection with others is all we truly need. Keep going, you got this ❤️❤️
SUCH A COPOUT. MY BROTHER IS KILLING US BUT ITS JUST THE DRUG......HE is THE DRUG. CHAOS, SELFISHNESS, CRUEL, U ALL NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE DISGUSTING ELEMENTS OF CLUB ESPECIALLY GAY CLUB CULTURE. GO ON REPORT ME WALLFLOWERS AND CONTINUE ON UR PATH
I just watched a video the other day about this poor guy who was having chemsex… and he was so messed up that he didn’t realize how rough they were all being. The other guys were so rough they ended up breaking his back and paralyzing him 😣 and he didn’t really “feel it” when it happened because of the drugs. He just realized he couldn’t really move anymore. it was such a sad story. Anyway, be careful out there guys!! Peace and love ❤
WHAT?!
yea but the nigga literally slammed Crystal meth (also smoked it)
@@user-fr8ru4lb9c I know!!!
So so horrible
Wtf?// was he gang raped by vampires or what ?? Werewolves? Absolute horror.
Watched the same video about the guy who was paralyzed after using methamphetamine in a group sex setting. He's originally from the Philippines, but also lived in NYC. He's recovered now, medically but I'm not sure what he's currently doing. It was a very unfortunate situation. He's very candid in his interview about his ordeal. That video's still in circulation due to what he was using. It did, however end well for him. Methamphetamine has very addictive properties. Many people don't do well after the encounter with this drug, which made this story a true tear jerker, and an eye opener!😥The actual story did so well, many people are recanting this story! Very informative and well done!💕
that is heavy. im upset by all this bc it is the person. theres a point where they know theyre off centre then all of a sudden theyve never been wrong. my brother.....please help me.....me....where r u going.......my brother.......across the rd to do 1 last shot. its the person and there is nxt to no physical withdrawal. oh ull feel shit but its not opiates. its selfishness thats the problem
He recovered from paralysis
The pleasure is incomparable. It absolutely intensifies any sexual experience. But the aftermath is brutal & can absolutely ruin you in several ways.
It's no difference than regular sex
@@dontrah1838 you were most likely ripped off. There's a drastic difference with a strong dose of that stuff. The real stuff.
@@jaygarcia8508 or Maybe everyone is just different and have different genetics just Bec you get addicted to something doesn't mean everyone does I know plenty of ppl who's tried meth and sex and said it just isn't for them I feel the same way it's not about being ripped off it's just everyone is different
dude i won't even lie! the best orgasms that i've ever had were on meth! i've never skeeted so much and came so hard in my life! it's earth shattering and mind blowing! like an earthquake times a thousand! i'm attracted to women and pre-op transwomen and turn into an ultra freak when i would do meth! idk what it is but meth and sex just go hand in hand! i'm sorry but that's just my truth! it's just hard to find a partner that's just as freaky as myself!
Great Doc. Needs more deserving views for all the good info it gave
Good work ❤
So sad. I had a friend who grew up gay in Japan and then to London and went wild. He was big on chemsex and was constantly shooting up. Sad story
So much real-ness but a complete glossing over of the lifelong addiction to the drug and the chemsex life, together and separately. The constant social exposure to people offering chemsex and the motivation for those people to inspire a relapse in you.
Powerful and necessary. Thank you for this.
Getting high will enhance for a while but eventually the drug becomes more important and it's not just for sex anymore
It's to cope with what they're doing at that moment
It seems to be much more about hiding from yucky feelings about yourself than sex.
Quite overwhelmed & stunned but have been aware of it. It’s very sad. To abuse oneself after a lifetime of abuse to escape is eventually so deeply destructive & leads to an early death because of low self esteem & worth. Sadly, gay men helping each other’s demise is not even considered.
This is such an incredible documentary omg
Gotta admit I burst out laughing when the guy described blowing up at his mom before every IG photoshoot. Like, wtf come on, you're trying to come off as sympathetic but I've accidentally just connected your inability to respect your mom with the inability to control impulse.
Exactly. It isn’t all trauma. Just bad emotional intelligence
@@zazlar4228At a minimum.
When I was first introduced to meth. I was not out of the closet.. I was 23 when I finally came to terms with my sexuality. But I was doing speed long before then. Then went through several years of cleaning myself up. And then in 1995 I fell back into it again. But by this time I had already came to terms with my sexuality and came out. It was no longer ashamed of myself to realize I was gay. Not a sick disease like others may want you to think it is. Anyhow. Well in the 90s and on into.2000s the marathon sex was phenomenal. Then became addicted to both. I worked support my own habit. I never stole to support my habit. But my rent and my bills were a total mess.. well, I’ve been 20 years clean now 20+ years. Still queer as a $3. Bill. No having sex now I’ve been a little desensitized. Let’s say I guess that’s what you would call it.. now I’m 63. And I regret nothing. Because what I’ve been through in my life makes me a better person today more excepting more understanding and more caring..
It is interesting to see that in an age where homosexuality is celebrated longer and with more priority than a national holiday, there is more drug addiction and abuse among gay men than ever before. As a gay man myself, I think that the gay community does a great job of turning everything into a big party and pushes the idea that to control or deny yourself any natural impulse or urge, especially when it comes to sex, is unnecessary, even bigoted, and contributes to the shackles of traditional "heteronormative" behavior. Unchecked behavior of any kind will definitely lead to self destruction. A little shame and humility would serve our "community" better than the "if it feels good, do it" idea they've been peddling over the last 2 decades.
Lesbian/drug-user & I agree. People seem to be bad at moderation in general. You don't have to be a whore OR a prude; a drug-binging addict OR a puritanical abstinent. If you use drugs to enhance sex with a trusted partner once in a while, that's fine, but they're doing it so they don't have normal amounts of fear about things like promiscuous barebacking with strangers which is idiotic. You *should* be afraid of those things & it has nothing to do with internalized homophobia. These guys are bug-chasing junkies who use drugs as a scapegoat for their own bad behavior. 🤷🏻♀
Very well said. It’s a “reward-system” failure, abandonment of self control. Even after the fact they can’t break it down to simple biologic overkill.
Whatever distracts away from the violence against women in the straight community. 😅😅😅
Last two decades? Try the last 4 -5 decades.
You said it perfectly.
Meth is a very dangerous substance as long term use ALWAYS leads to hearing voices. This is well documented in the medical literature.
And unfortunately anti-psychotics don’t necessarily drown out the voices either, they are basically tranquillisers to knock you out abit, and make you so lethargic that you’re not as irritable to the voices and therefore less likely to listen when they order you to stab someone or end yourself.
They also make people put on a lot of weight and the voices always tells the individual to stop taking them because they hate it. They hate being drowned out and not being heard.
I know it sounds silly but that’s what the majority of sufferers said, and why a lot of schizophrenics get off them in favour of going back to methamphetamine. And from there the cycle starts again. And goes on and on.
I’ve worked in psyche wards and prisons so I do have some insight into this : meth users hearing voices have the largest un aliving themselves percentage in the world. Psychiatrists also have a high percentage of ending it as well due to being around the dark nature of the schizophrenic mind.
Homelessness is linked to this phenomenon.
I know a homeless girl who self identifies as a bipolar schizophrenic. She does meth. I want to save her.
Great documentary. I love the graphical effect used to disguise the contributors.
Great documentary...
The silence needs to stop around chemsex
Meaning what? we start cancelling or calling out those who have it? or just tell more people all the juicy details of how great it feels? When you think about it your statement could mean either. 🙂
@@BraxEvanswe need to reinforce (& strengthen) the stigma. And yes, tweakers should be shunned until they quit. Unpopular opinion, i know, but we should NOT enable their delusions.
I have lots of young friends that do meth and they are straight. But just like all of these gay guys, they really can't see what the drugs are doing to them. I know way to many young couples who started experimenting and destroyed their lives completely. The sad part is that once it starts, nobody can tell you how bad your going down a pit. Because to you, everything is going great. I have also seen testosterone junkies do the same thing.
Sounds like mania.
Testosterone junkies? What is it for beside for gym guys & the trans men?
It definitely desensitizes you to things you'd otherwise be repulsed by. I've seen otherwise normal, good people turn into sexual deviants & end up in prison due to meth addiction. It's neurotoxic but feels like the most natural, healthy thing in the world... at first. Like putting on glasses after a lifetime of nearsightedness. You're MORE sober, clear-headed & clever than ever. But that's just an illusion. Really you're destroying dopamine receptors & if you do it long enough, you risk early-onset Parkinson's & other problems. I tried it once and that was enough to know I didn't need to do it any more. Some drugs just feel unnaturally euphoric and that's one of them. MDMA, mephedrone & OxyContin are some others.
This is all so strange to me. Blaming it all on the drugs, when the root of the problem really is a cluster of mental health problems these people are suffering from. I'm an occasional indulger of chmsex and doing it in a way that it's a full-rounded experience. There's socialization, cracking jokes, watching out for one another and not just sex and substance, so basically just connecting, without the crippling depression, anxiety, paranoia or self-esteem issues that prevent people from enoying life. It's an upbeat thing, albeit occasional. Having healthy limits keeps you far away from any addiction.
You've done an incredible job telling this story. This documentary as a genre is fantastic. The truth about the drug use in the gay community is alarming and needs exposure so others won't fall into this trap.
Great documentation
Thankyou, a well-rounded documentation 🎉.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Try talking about sobriety or recovery within the gay community- it’s all but impossible.
I am gay, and went wild in 2005 and 2007... but I had boundaries. I did smoke weed, tried pills, snorted powder cokaine, and did a lot of drinking but it wasn't for me. Been sober ever since.
@@richardwildlife88-wj6klYou never touched meth. Those who touched meth, almost all of them never stopped. They either can use and function or go downhill. Mostly goes downhill.
So brave! ❤❤ thank you!
Trauma is the gateway to addiction. Those dots are so close together they are a solid line.
Great doc.
so many people need to see this
@@PWEIcom good idea, let me go down to methhead guy living behind the dumpster down the street from my house who stands on teh corner waving his bible around shouting passages.
The "Just say no" mentality is obviously something that's never been effective. Self-help or12-step groups like AA can be useful, but they don't work equally well for everyone. We need to find what's at the ROOT of addiction, to understand what causes it in the first place. Until that happens, people are going to continue to fall into addiction and they'll continue to die.
The dumbest thing about Just Say No (which I grew up in), they never once discussed WHY people do drugs. I remember thinking “why would be do these awful drugs?” Then later, when you learn they make you feel good (lol) you feel lied to all those years. They should explain to kids that they feel good but that there is no “free lunch” with your brain chemicals, you will eventually pay the piper and it’s not worth it.
@@internetperson9121yes! You’ve identified how the just say no approach doesn’t work. Don’t pretend they don’t feel good. They do. But there’s a price and virtually no one thinks they’ll become an addict.
There’s another post about this where the activity was so intense in a three way one guy broke his back!! He posted from hospital! This is a mental, dangerous pastime for sure
Something is starting to get REAL screwed up with our society. I feel like the candy land of mind altering drugs of every kind we are surrounded with, both prescription and non, are making us crazier and crazier as a whole.
He took getting his back blown out literally
Where can I find it?
Omg I saw that it was CRAZY 😜
@@Coffeendonutslmao 😂
Every day has gone through strange trauma from childhood for not being able to be themselves not being accepted by society even if you have a very great parents and family except you society still looks down on you. It’s horrible and this is how they’re processing the trauma unfortunately.
My thoughts were always racing about doing crazy sex but was very private and just took care of myself sexually…So glad it was a short few months of that crazy drug….Hope i never have that again….
Methheads just call it sex.
I was abused when i was younger (under 10) and ended up in toxic relationship at the age of 16 (told him i was 18), never really learned to socialize and my self-esteem was always down with what he would do. For me it helped me talk to someoene even if it was for sex, seeing how people didnt see they needed help and acted weird. I always kept myself on check, quit cold turkey 3 times, 10 year break, 2 year break and now going on 5 years 😊
What drug are they talking about? I heard one person say he was on "p" ..i thought people took meth for chemsexe? Is there another drug that does that too?
P is another name for meth
How about crack cocaine with sex I tried it and loved it couldn't get enough of...😊🫢
I have a friend who has lost himself in Meth addiction but doesn't recognize it at all because he's so driven by the sex.
Honestly, he is one of the nicest people I know - or, was. But that drug stole my friend and replaced him with unclean spirits. People can believe what they want to believe about it. I've seen them manifest themselves in him and change his face, voice and demeanor instantly. It's terrifying to see someone you love become something you don't even recognize right in front of you.
I totally believe that drug is an open invitation for unclean spiritual attachments.
If you are struggling with these issues, please ask GOD to break those chains. And then turn away from the sinful thoughts that lead you to that path to begin with. You are created for so much more than animalistic behaviors. We are created by GOD, for GOD, not for ourselves
Grow up stop the conspiracy crap demons spirits don't exist just bad ppl
Is this entirely filmed in NZ?
Yes, in Auckland, with the exception of the London and Melbourne cutaways.
This is crazy, I’m not alone i feel seen
Even as a hetero, sex on certain drugs can be an incredible experience...if you can get your junk to work. Overall, though, everything works best when I'm sober.
Oh.... it's " Chemsex" !!! And I thought it was "Addicts having sex together" !! I stand corrected.
Haha! In the 70s and 80s, Boomers just did coke and huffed poppers and called it "sex, drugs, and rock and roll", these nancies are calling it "Trauma" 😂😂😂😂 bunch a sissies this world has spawned.
'Chemsex'ers 'gaslighting' one another! Word fun!
Great video.Thank you.People try to normalise everything today.This is where it will brings u.Absolutely slaves of their bodies.Just flesh flesh flesh,nothing hunanbeen😢
who isn't slave to the new flesh?
Im no queer .. i feel sorry for gays... But my wife likes it and were having a rough time shaking this habit.. its very rough on your body..
I know a girl like this... So complicated...
Beautiful message. Greetings from San Antonio, Texas, USA 🌈❤️
❤appears to me sadly more and more people are hell bent on escaping reality with these drugs
Ive certainly never had a whole weekend binge of sex and drugs. 🤞
😉
people in this lifestyle need a lot of help. we should not encourage children to consider it "normal", it is very sad.
Who said anything about encouraging children to consider it ‘normal’? Sorry, I think you missed the point of the documentary.
Meth and sex? Never worked for me like that. All I remember of that timed in my youth was waking up in a hospital basement after sleeping for 3 days straight after being high for a week. As far as sex goes, it only shriveled it up.
Yep
Drinking and driving kills. Please- be safe when you party. Never drive drunk.
I think the only difference between the gay and straight experience is it’s considerably more difficult to find partners/parties in the straight community, so I’d guess more of us end up just using porn exclusively. I don’t know if that’s better or worse, but I know even as a semi “recreational” user, I stopped sleeping with my girlfriend/the mother of my children, because I preferred just doing my own thing once every week or two when I’d be high for a few days. She doesn’t do anything and doesn’t know that I do, but I have to stop and re establish our sex life… which means no more T..
These people talk about their growing up experience as if it’s only them that experienced this and therefore that’s the cause of their addiction. A lot, I’d say the majority of us have had horrific bullying about being gay but we didn’t turn to Chem sex. I think this is a complex issue and not all of it is just rooted in x happened to me so that is why I needed to take drugs. There’s also an addictive personality combined with a really poor set of social skills, knowing how to communicate and connect with individuals outside sex.
Some people can have occasional chemsex without spiraling into addiction. But it’s a dangerous game to play.
Dreadfully sad 😢
Hi, I’m a gay man from the UK and I’ve got to be honest I have got no idea why anyone would want to take drugs of any kind just to have gay sex. I have great pleasure and orgasms and I’m completely straight I don’t take anything what is wrong with people?
Do you feel any guilt or self-loathing after the act?
@@MarcusDaGrandnot everyone gets guilt kid
So being gay seemed gross but then by using the miracle drug meth, these lads “found themselves” and could easily engage in the previously gross gay sex?
Dude that’s really really really really fucked up and absolutely not something I’d want a loved one experiencing.
Chemsex? Is this guys whos I knew men or guys who became gay when using meth. but with out the meth… OOO I’m clean from oxys etc but now I am not using since 2015 o don’t know how to act I haven’t even had a bf since I been like this realy only 1 guy I was seeing but that’s all. but I’m nervous I’m shy I hit the pipe w him dope pipe which isn’t my thing but it helped me do sex but it’s not something o use or look for not sexually
I think it's that 100% of addicts just like being " high" Everyone's had "traumas" etc. etc. etc
😂😂😂 spot on
You don't think at all.
That completely goes against psychology lol
crazy,.
What happens as you age you pay the price.
I'm glad those drugs didn't exist back in my youth. Orgies with no HIV was much better than drugs. If Only They had gotten rid of HIV through Chinese style quarantining, we wouldn't need drugs during sex. Orgies would be enough you wouldn't need all the drugs. Today's generation doesn't know the difference cuz they don't have a way to compare cuz they never new what life before HIV was like. Carefree orgies with no HIV was much better than any type of drug use. They had their chance in 1985 to quarantine society and remove all the positives to stop the spread and they didn't do it so blame her American Constitution of you can't do that you can't quarantine people and look for the disease and remove it from society. And look at the damage it did by not doing so. Today they Implement unconstitutional laws like the offender registry and civil commitment with no two bats of an eye about doing so to people remember that when you go to the voting polls they wouldn't protect Society from HIV, but they will overly punish for life gay individuals and not think twice about it.
HIV originated in central Africa in the 1920s & was gradually spread through prostitution/truckers, dirty reused syringes in vaccine campaigns & the spread of global travel before anyone knew it existed. Love to know how they could've quarantined that lol. If it wasn't AIDS it would've been something else (monkeypox, anyone?) because the behaviors gay men were engaging in during the '70s were so foul new diseases were popping up & old ones were becoming sexually transmitted for the 1st time (Hep B, Gay Bowel Syndrome, i.e. fecal-oral transmitted diseases). Larry Kramer saw it coming & even said "we're phucking ourselves to death!" in his book F*ggots, released in 1978... 3 years before the 1st cases were documented in the MMWR. Syphilis hadn't even been curable for 40 years by this point but our cultural memory was so short nobody gave a damn. We're doing it again now. 😞
P.S. - there was no shortage of drugs in those days lol. In the bathhouses Freddie Mercury took MDA, MDMA, ether, poppers, LSD, Seconal, "Black Beauties," Quaaludes & Placidyl among others. He was not alone.
??? Well, your comment(s) are way out there. Sheezuz!
Very true. Also would stop the planet from being over populated.
So your generation ruined it for the rest of us wow and orgies bro not everyone is a deviant
On the one hand, you ned to be aware enough to consent, otoh I don’t see why “sober sex” is seen as the only right way to be intimate.
It’s the devils work !!!!
Men for women the end
Internalised Homophobia
Nah. Just the toxic everything goes mentality of gay ppl and bad impulse control.
😂
Let people do what the hell they want quit snitching
🤣
How many times have you had Monkeypox?
@@spikefivefivefive Leftist dribble.
I think a lot of people doing this don’t actually want to be doing it. Drug addiction tends to get pretty miserable but you gotta maintain.
Yeah the spread of HIV and AIDS is NONE of my damn business 😂😂😂
I hope Frank Williams isn't his real name
It is not.
i drink wine, the other tenants in this property have inspired me to come here and learn more. It’s like watching an Attenborough documentary some will survive , some won’t. I’ve got my own issues .