Therapist Reacts: BIG HERO SIX and Grief
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- čas přidán 20. 04. 2022
- How does Hiro find healing and move forward after losing his brother?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright talk about the stages of grief as seen in Big Hero 6 as Baymax and Hiro's friends help him through his grief and find healing and meaning after loss. They talk about the themes of choosing who we want to be and how Hiro's grief process helps him figure out who he wants to be, honoring the departed, the brother relationship between Hiro and Tadashi, and the truly incredible animation and physical comedy of Baymax. Also, this movie broke us. (Yes, there are tears. #cryingwithalan)
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
Spanish Transcription by: Juan Willems
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I also want to point out that they were raised by their aunt, meaning they had already lost their parents. So losing Tadashi probably had that much more impact.
hero is young enough, me might not have ever even known his parents, id wager Tadashi wanted to help people because no one was able to help his parents, and now Hero inherited that by losing Tadashi
Indeed, Hiro might have been young enough when their parents died, so he might not remember them as much as Tadashi did. However, Tadashi dying might have been Hiro's first proper experience with losing a loved one, since the brothers were clearly close.
Does not have to be the case. A friend of mine was adopted by her aunt and uncle. But both her parents are still alive.
@@karindwarswaard1507 that’s true but in this story, they were orphans. It says Hiro was only three when they passed.
@@katelynnehansen8115 ah oké. I read your comment when i started watching. I have seen the movie, but it has been a while 😂.
"If you avoid caring to avoid hurting, you also avoid healing."
God that's a great line.
I agree! It's toxic and ruining society to tell kids that they are born special, that what they do doesn't matter. People aren't born special. NO ONE IS. It's the choices you make and the actions you take and what you choose to do that make you special. Actions are ALL that matter. Who will you choose to be? Will you be a leech? Will you contribute to society or science? Will you make lives of people you come into contact with better? or worse? Telling people they are born special makes them believe that their actions don't matter. That they are already special so it doesn't matter what they choose to do. And that's how you end up with entitled adults throwing temper tantrums because they believe they are so special they shouldn't have to wait in line or that the rules of society shouldn't apply to them. Karen's believe they are so special that their wants and needs and emotions are all that matter. No one else's matter. They think they have a right to treat people like sh*t because they are oh so special. So they act like a spoiled monster and make everyone's life harder and worse and still go home believing they are a good person because they are special and exempt from all consequences and responsibilities.
@@WhitneyDahlin You can be both.
@@WhitneyDahlin I slightly disagree. I think it completely depends from person to person.
...because it's mostly true for adults.
In the developing brain of an infant, toddler, and/or young child of 2-ish...if there are not safe, nurturing adults to help soothe them, those dendrites could be clipped when the developing brain undergoes it's largest dendritic pruning of it's entire lifetime, and those connections can be lost forever: and you have a little one who will grow up to be a sociopath with almost no ability to care, or hurt, or heal.
This is why those first three years of a child's life are so very critical.
@@le_th_ Children without safe nurturing adults do not become sociopaths. They're just more likely to have immense--lifelong--emotional trauma.
I never realized Baymax's voice softened and mildly broke when he asked at the end "Are you satisfied with your care?" This hurts
I caught that too! To me, he sounded human almost 😭
The little head tilt too hhhhh
AGHHAGAHA
If I remember correctly it is also the first time baymax closes his "eyes" when hugging Hiro
Yeah that was 😢
I just now realized that tadashi's last words were "someone has to help"
Oh nooo 😭😭
RIP my heart 😭😭
and that’s also what hiro says before he goes into the portal at the end🥲 that always gets me
@@hellokwenszie OMG I DIDN’T NOTICE THAT
AND the last thing we hear him say (in the recordings after his death) is “I am satisfied with my care.”
I will always love this for the fact that Tadashi programed baymax in a way where if Baymax doesn't have the tools to help a patient he will actively seek out information to allow him to do so.
Agreed. It's such a *human* element and also such a *Tadashi* element that, as you said, even when they don't have the tools or the means to help someone, they will both still extend that hand.
Just... just Baymax seeking out self-improvement for the sake of others as opposed to the self (sure, it's what he's programmed to do) is such a freakin' *human* thing and I think that's one of the things that absolutely messes people up with the big guy.
Yeah that's great, right up until Baymax learns enough to realize the only way to truly help the patients is to crush mankind under the pillowy fist of our care-bot overlords.
@@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat im honestly so sick of humanity, humans aas a species have failed badly.
@@niyazahmed3448 nah, we've just become so good at spreading information you've become conscious of how flawed we've always been. Meanwhile every single day for the past 32 years 100,000 people on this planet have escaped abject poverty -- every day... for 32 years...
@@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat id say himans are far more flawed that those flaws outway those escaping poverty, id rather the reset button just be hit.
"This is a very not subtle metaphor for Tadashi raising his brother." How. Did. I. Miss. That.
Right? **Mind blown.**
I was wondering the same thing, I was like "bro, I can't be that dumb, can I?"
Y'all make me feel better about missing it lmao
@@lowercase_ash Because you're not the only one who did miss that. I haven't seen Big Hero 6 in a while and I don't even know how long it's been if I've even thought about that whatsoever.
The presence of Aunt Kat makes it easy to miss because she's "the adult" in their lives
It's amazing how much emotion they managed to get on Baymax's face despite his expression being either •-• or - - -
1k likes and no comment...
Im ashamed to be that guy
I'll comment: I liked your representation of his expressions 😊
A very technically creative way to explain in a video comment about Big Hero 6 and also the sadness of dealing with harshly depressing real life events. Truly awesome!!!!! ❤💾
I completed sobbed after watching this.
I lost my niece 1 month ago, my mom 6 months ago, my brother 2 years ago and my father 5 years ago.
I've pushed all of it to the side and I see that now.
I've been trying to find the light, get help and this video has helped me heal just a little. Thank you.
I'm so sorry. ❤️🩹
I'm sorry. That sounds horrible. Stay strong ❤❤❤
I’m incredibly sorry for all those loved ones that you have lost. Just remember that it doesn’t equate to you losing in life. Let’s work up to use all that grief as, paradoxically, your strength! I know how it feels to lose a mother, and although it’s been so long since, it was only recently that I finally allowed myself to heal. I kept telling myself “I shouldn’t love anything because it will disappear from my life”, but now I try and cherish every moment I can to the fullest extent for the very same reason, because it may very well, leave me. I wish you the best in life. It’s going to take awhile, but the first step on acceptance is acknowledgment of the truth. This video could very much be the catalyst to your healing process.
That is a lot hold on to who you still have love them.
Mark Twain lost two daughters and his wife over the course of about 13 years. During the depression that followed he wrote this in a letter:
"There is nothing. There is no God and no universe, there is only empty space, and in it a lost and homeless and wandering and companionless and indestructible Thought. And I am that thought. And god, and the universe, and time, and life, and death, and joy and sorrow and pain only a grotesque and brutal dream, evolved from the frantic imagination of that same Thought."
I love how each of Tadashi's friends act as big siblings towards Hiro, even though he's not physically present any more. Gogo calls out Hiro when he's being stupid, Wasabi encourages him to be less reckless, Honey Lemon is the most caring, Fred encourages him to be passionate about science, and Baymax is a last reminder of Tadashi's passions. Friends are family.
If anything ever happened to my friends I'd make sure their siblings are my first priority. We keep the little ones safe, always.
Also, they've all talked to Hiro a grand total of 2 times(that we see anyways)! Once when they first met him at the University, and then again on the presentation night. The fact that they all befriended Hiro so quickly, and supported Hiro through his grief speaks volumes as to how much they loved Tadashi.
Edit: some people who have watched the movie more recently I have have pointed out that all of Tadashi's friends help Hiro build the microbots and that they got to know Hiro then, a detail that I had forgotten. Still, the fact that they would jump in help Hiro after having only met him once, just because he was Tadashi's little brother, shows that they really loved Tadashi and were true friends.
I agree.
@@9elypses amen
@Aubrey Carter Did... Did you miss the entire montage in between those two scenes where they spend multiple days helping him make his nanobots for the presentation?
I've heard that in anime, when a character is "happy crying" the tears fall from the outside corners of the eyes and sad crying has the tears fall from the inside corners. It took me a while to figure out why that works, but if someone is crying with their head bowed, the tears fall from the inside, and if they're crying with their face uplifted, tears fall to the outside.
I also think it could have something to do with smiling/grimacing while crying and the difference in expression, but yeah, head tilt definitely would matter :D
I hope they react to Wolf Children as well. Best animated mother
I never even noticed that but thinking about it, you're completely right. Nice little detail there
@Dragonberry that's really cool! Would you say Asian literature has a more inward, maybe introspective focus, in general?
The tear falls through the easiest path. 😁 falls through cheeks to slopes. 😓 falls through inner corner to along character lines and nose.
I love the double meaning of bamax's first statement after having the doctor chip reinserted on the island: "my Healthcare protocol has been violated." I think that violated is the perfect word here because it is used in very matter of fact, near clinical connotations like when talking about legal contracts or device warranties, but can also be deeply personal and intimate. On the surface, a piece of software was forcibly shut down without the proper procedure. But more than that, Hiro violated Bamax in his anger, disrespecting Tadashi and his creation. Hiro took what made Bamax what it is, the closest thing Bamax has to a soul, and tore it out to leave the empty chassis as a killing machine.
I love lines with deeper meanings like that
All of Baymax's robotic responses that feel like emotional responses are great.
Big Hero 6 always hit me the hardest of all movies, because my mother died when I was around Hiro's age because she threw herself in front of a car to shove an old woman to safety. I remember feeling so distraught and blamed myself for all of it. What if I hadn't been elsewhere, and was at her side to stop her? What if? What if? What if? I was a child. I couldn't see the future. I think it's inherent to grief to give the agony of it a meaning. Of course it had to be my fault, why else would it hurt? But there is no reason it happened. My mother was only 40, she would have had double that if she had survived. The driver was drunk and full of hate in a massive truck, someone could've helped him before he took my mother away. So much could have happened to change this. But it happened like it had, and everyone has to move on. And I have, for the most part. It was over 15 years ago, I'm an adult now. I can realize it wasn't ever my fault. It wasn't that old woman's either. The blame rests entirely on the man who decided he needed to run someone over at a wedding.
I have my mother's ashes. I've been everywhere in this country, from Seattle to Miami, and I've always had her heart-shaped metal urn with me. The box has kept her chocolatey-smokey smell for all 15 of those years. She can't hug me and wipe away my tears, but I can still hug her. I still have her photo. I still know her name.
Grief feels like the end of the world. Maybe it always will. But you will grow, and that would make your lost loved one happier than anything else in the world.
{{Hug}}
Your mom is a true hero.
I get what you mean. I'm in my mid 20's but I lost my brother a couple years ago. He died from cancer. I didn't find out about it until a while through it because I was (still am) in college. My family didn't want to tell me about it because they wanted me to focus on school, a sentiment that I can understand. When I came back home during the holiday break, it had already progressed to the point where he was in a wheelchair. Spent some time with him while I could, and then one night I was in my room with one of my best friends, my mom bursts into my room frantically telling me that he was dying... We go downstairs and, well his body is still there breathing like everything fine...but he was gone. Sometime around this, I was talking with my dad. He was on the phone with me one time, and started talking about weird pains or feelings and I told him he should go see a doctor. This is how my dad also got diagnosed with cancer, twice actually because a second diagnosis came later. Luckily though, in part because I convinced him he should see a doctor, they got to it early and managed to get him both times. In fact apparently somehow they found the start of what couldve been a potential third before it became a problem.
Despite how...honestly cosmically evil it felt to me for my Dad to be in a position where he could've gotten cancer 3 times....I was glad that I talked to him, cuz I worry he may not be here had I not....that being said...I regretted not telling my brother. Sure I didnt know because no one told me, and there's no guarantee that I wouldve said something, I wouldve heard about it or been around to see it. There's also no guarantee that even if I had been able to say something, and he did go, they wouldve been able to do something...because cancer just be like that sometimes. Luckily I didn't go through a fit of anger and being mad at everyone for not telling me sooner, but I did still feel regret for not telling him like I did my dad. Even when my dad gave me the good news, I was beyond relived, honestly watching this movie again that moment of Hero saying I cant lose you to hit hard because I said the exact same thing to my dad... but at some point...it brought up that feeling of regret, like I could've saved him too... had I known...
My brother was the first person I lost that hit me as hard as it did. I dont blame anyone for it. I knew it wasnt my fault, but back then it was really hard to not feel like I couldve done something. As a person who often wants to help others feel better, it was always hard for me when it was grief. I couldnt relate, so I didn't know what to do. This experience told me that sometimes there's nothing you can do. People work through their own grief in there own way, and the only thing you can do is be there for them especially if that grieving becomes self destructive. To be honest, im still "figuring out" grief so to speak. I teared up twice writing that previous paragraph. I feel like I'm mostly over it but, sometimes it still comes back but maybe thats how it is for most people.
I am glad to hear anothers perspective and story, thanks for sharing that emotional history. I'm glad that you found a way that helps you.
I am now crying, this is a wonderful comment with a wonderful message. I wish you forever more happiness💖
I married a widower who had five kids. His first wife passed of a massive heart attack after a severe depressive episode in which she hardly ate or moved. The twin boys were five at the time she passed. BOTH of them had to work through (and still - at almost 14 - are somewhat working through) the idea that they could have saved her if they had tried harder to get her to move or eat. That it was somehow their fault . . . even though logic clearly says it wasn't. If you accept digital hugs from internet moms, please know I'm hugging you right now like I hug them.
It's interesting that the "fade to white" can mean exactly what Alan said... going to the light.
But in Japan, white is the colour related to death and funerals, which may as well be a clear cut of "Tadashi is dead".
Having been the recipient of a few head injuries, fading to white happens with that also, but in real life.
It also seems very clinical to me. Reminds me of hospitals. Like someone coming out of a coma and having to deal with the loss of others.
I'm not sure that's right? White is seen as something pure/clean. In Japan the white is usually represented as a good thing, seeing how geisha's paint themselves white and how the color of the (traditional) dress is white for brides.
White however does mean death in Chinese
@@madeliefynana purity and death are not mutually exclusive. ;-) The idea of white clothes in a funeral is considered to be hopeful of rebirth... which adds another interesting layer here, ifyou consider Tadashi "returning" in his creation.
@@Batini I don't think I've ever seen white clothes worn at Japanese funerals.
I'm just mainly saying white isn't the most associated color with death in Japanese culture. You sure you're not mixing Japanese and Chinese? 🤔
Though white in Chinese is usually meant as a bad color and is almost never seen in a positive light.
Alan: “Thanks, people on the spectrum.”
Me: *rewinds to hear that again because we get so little appreciation irl*
same
Yeah that meant a lot
I'll admit, that did make me smile. It's nice getting some appreciation every now and then.
The line was funny and sweet 🤣🥰
it made me happy too
24:14
Anyone else notice that as the emotional music builds baymaxs voice becomes less and less robotic and more atune to his brothers...
Ow.
This pain was a 10.
Oh shit I just realized that
"Every time you feel anger, it's actually something else in disguise"
That hits hard, for sure. My mom has told me all my life "anger is the second emotion", too
I love how Baymax says "My healthcare programming has been violated." Because Scott Adist delivers it in Baymax's quasi-emotionless voice, it has this factual aspect that makes it hit harder. Baymax was violated. Tadashi's legacy was violated. This isn't an opinion. This is a fact. And yet it has just enough emotion, especially combined with the others recoiled with him, that we can see that Baymax - who's still learning emotions - is deeply hurt by this, which sets up Baymax refusing to open his port later.
Oh wow 😳
another detail to make this movie more painful
This makes sense....
Ouch
Dude, great observation
Baymax is great because is just a robot, who follows is programming, he has no emotions.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm crying over a kid's relationship with his marshmallow robot."😭
Big Hero 6 is so underrated. Also Fallout Boy killed it with Immortals
I listened to that song on loop for a week straight when it became available. It literally pumped me up enough to just get through the day.
Oh thanks for reminding me of that!, i need to go listen to that one again
I remember me and my sister walked out of the theater crying as mom and grandma were taking us to Buffalo Wild Wings
YES thank you I’m still on my emo bs and that song still slaps
The only thing wrong with it as far as I can tell is that it was sandwiched in between Frozen, Zootopia, and Moana. Frozen and Moana are princess-y and thus more marketable and Zootopia is more topical and rah rah inspirational, so in the midst of all that a movie about a sad kid working his way through his grief kinda got a little lost despite the very kid-friendly superhero element.
Also, as a general rule the animated section of Disney (excluding Pixar) seems to lean more towards fairy tales and the magical than sci-fi. I think Big Hero 6 is really only their second sci-fi movie that scored in a big enough way that they could make lots of money off the initial release and then selling merch of it.
19:40 absolutely love the detail of Tadashi mouthing the lines
This is only tangentially related, but I was diagnosed with a disabling autoimmune disease seven years ago. My best friend was across the country, working at Disney World at the time. She sent me a stuffed Beymax, with the note, "Now you have your own personal healthcare companion." He helped me through a very difficult career change, and a very difficult transition into being disabled from able-bodied. To this day, he sits on a dresser, and every time I see him, I think of how much love and support I have, and how it's possible to find happiness, even after something devastating happens.
That’s wholesome. I’m glad your feeling better. Sounds like a great friend!
Now dats the purest lil first " comfort character " bond story ive read in a while🥺
Aw that’s so sweet, I’m glad you have someone to care for you❤️
Disabling autoimmune disease buddies. I had just gotten my first job in the career I'd wanted since I was three years old. After about seven or eight years, I've recently started writing as a hobby, which has been fun. Maybe some day I'll look into trying to get published, but it's basically a lottery so I know it'll never happen. ^_^;;
This is super random but you didn't happen to leave a comment like this on Cinema Win's Big Hero Six video, did you? I just came from that video and saw a comment just like yours.
This is the most underrated Disney movie. No death hurt me as much as Tadashi & watching Hiro have to work through his grief & depression really resonated with me since I lost my father. This is the best movie to show how to work through those hard emotions.
Yeah. One of the best depictions of grief i've seen. Also i'm sorry for your loss. i really hope you are doing better.
My condolences for your loss, I didn't think that they'd ACTUALLY kill off Tadashi, but they did!
Glad I'm not the only one who resonated with this film cause of the loss of someone.
Treasure planet has left the chat
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Also, just wanted to point out that when Tadashi says “people need you”, or “you’re going to help so many people” - he’s not just talking to Hiro, he’s talking/looking into the camera and to the audience, telling someone out there who needs to hear that they are important to this world.
Powerful, subtle, and so good.
That is some excellent insight on your part! Thank you for pointing that out because that's such an a beautiful way to look at it and next time I watch the film, I'll be able to see it from that angle too.
Oh so THATS WHY i cried so much
The hardest part in wanting to help others is finding those that want it or how to help. My mom was flawed but did what she could to help people. I know I'd like to honor her in that way but it's hard to have that belief or willingness to put yourself out there.
I’m 99% sure that this exact reason is why I sobbed during that scene. That’s all I needed to hear
welp that made me cry
Also the fact that in the last scene when Baymax told Hiro to say he was satisfied with his care, Hiro cycles through all the stages of grief in the span of a minute or two... so beautiful and symbolic
Ugh I know. Breaks me every time.
One of the things I love about this movie is that Baymax is always literal. Lines like "I see you have fallen" can be interpreted both in the literal that Hiro fell down, but also that he's fallen mentally as a result of Tadashi's death. "Tadashi is here" is literally "Tadashi has recordings here in my chest" but we hear that and think "oh the people we've lost are always with us", same thing with "I will always be with you". Baymax is a robot in the very traditional sense, he is just programming no emotion whatsoever, but his design, calming voice, and our own interpretations of his literal words create this much more human character.
15:13 When Bamax says, "This is not what..." it's implied that he would say "... I was programmed to do", but when I heard it, I instead thought of how it sounded like he was going to say "This is not what Tadashi would have wanted". It hits a whole lot different when you think of it like that.
That's what I thought he was going to say too!
That’s EXACTLY what I thought as well
It would've been the same. He was programmed by Tadashi to help people, not destroy them.
same I thought he would say this isn't how Tadashi would have wanted!"
By hits a lot different, you must mean eye rollingly cliche. Can that goddamn line go the way of the dodo already? There’s so many more creative ways to portray that idea.
The quote that is the only reason I'm still here after loosing my dad almost 3 years ago is "He wouldn't want his legacy to be that his death destroyed me." It's still a struggle everyday.
Wow.. I can so relate 🫂🫂 I lost my Dad 3 months ago 💔💔💔
It’s been just over a year for me…. Every day, I tell him I love him and I miss him.
@@kaarenbock8361 Same here.. It's just been 4 months now 💔💔 trying to feel normal again, I'd give anything to just hug him again, but he's in heaven and in my heart ❤
@@LeylaXena - Remembering a specific hug can help. And figuring out what to do to honor him. I was already writing a book. Now, it’s dedicated to him.
Grief is something you go through, not get over. And missing him can be a way to include him in events in your life.
@@kaarenbock8361 That's a beautiful way to honor your Dad ❤🙏 thank you, I think about my Dad all the time and I find comfort knowing he's in heaven and not suffering anymore 🙏🙏 trying to honor him too, I'm doing my best and trying to be better 🙏 Bless our Papas 🙏❤🙏
At 14:55 I’m shocked you left that moment at just ‘oh Callahan, we hate you’. Callahan and Hiro are in the same emotional place in this scene, lashing out in anger and vengeance in response to their respective losses, collateral damage be damned. Hiro didn’t react to Baymax hurting and scaring his friends at all, he was too focused on vengeance on Callahan, just like Callahan didn’t care that Tadashi died trying to save him, he was too focused on vengeance on Clay. This scene set up a fantastic parallel between our protagonist and antagonist, and by Hiro’s later moments of major growth and emotional impact, we see the difference right there that the support network Hiro had made. Callahan wasn’t seen to be supported by anyone, he stayed in that dark place; Hiro’s friends helped to pull him out of that dark place.
I have no one else to share this thought with, but technically if hiro installs a chip with pseudoscience he can hurt Callahan and it will still be "helping"
9:12 as someone on the spectrum this means a lot. We can’t always see the social cues but we see that you’re hurting and we just want to help.
As somebody who is also on the spectrum, it really hit me in the feels. Made me feel appreciated and seen.
@@ItBePatYo same here
I miss social cues too sometimes, and I'm not on the spectrum. It can and does happen with neurotypicals, as well. You're not alone. : )
I appreciate all of youuuuuu!!! ❤😁
Oh… so maybe that’s why I think Baymax is the character ever…
There's a strange sort of comfort in staying in your depression. It's unhealthy and you know it's unhealthy, but it just feels so much safer than trying to heal or change. There's safety in the sadness, and it's really difficult to get out of that space
I love the metaphor of the cabinet with a bunch of plates about to fall - while it may be more comfortable to leave the cabinet as it is, the only way to move forward is to open the door, face the damage and try to salvage the pieces
As I like to say: "the void is painful, but at least it's familiar."
Thank you for putting this into words, i couldnt figure out how to explain it by myself
I guess sometimes it's just easier to be sad
Hapiness can be so scary from the outside
@@midoriemi3859 it's not really that happiness is scary, it's more that the idea of leaving the comfort zone is frightening. Or that trying to change will just be tiring and end very poorly. No one wants to just be sad, but sometimes it's just easier
"Sometimes we need the clean happy ending that we'll never get in life."
OUCH.
That's why they're painful too, though. The end of Encanto struck *particularly* hard with Mirabel's whole family telling her "We see how bright you burn, we see how brave you've been." They see her and her accomplishments and understand and respect her. My family will *never* say anything like that to me. Ever. So... I love that Mirabel's family finally recognizes her for the strong person she is... but it also hurts to know I'll never have that.
Pal, I do not know who you are, but wherever and whenever, I hope you finally get that happy ending. Everyone deserves one.
@@aceaids4000 Thanks. :)
Sometimes you never do. That's why its so important to find that in yourself. We'll always want those we love and respect to also understand us, but sometimes you don't.
Just because you have "family" by blood, doesn't mean shit. If you have those around you that love and give a damn about you and reciprocate that, you got all the family you need. It hurts yes but to know you can thrive without them, you're living your best life and you don't owe them anything. I feel for you and I feel sorry for those in your family that don't acknowledge you because at the end of the day, they took you for granted. Family is so much more than relation by blood as Fast n' The Furious cliche that may sound. Live your life and I wish you the best.
Sending you a big hug. I'm rooting for you 🫂❤
"The more you care, the more you can hurt. And to an extent, it feel like if life has no meaning, then at least it doesn't hurt. If you avoid caring to avoid hurting, then you also avoid healing."
This will always remain in my heart. Amazing words
At 4:59, that's the scene my dad worked on!! It's really cool to see people reacting to the animation my dad worked on.
Your dad ruined me respectfully
"Why do we want to be depressed?"
It turns out that depression is, in part, a physiological phenomenon, not a purely psychological one. It's not just a chemical imbalance, it's actually an illness response. When you're depressed, you want to be alone, you want to rest, you don't want to go out into the world and do things and meet people. This is the same thing that your body does when it detects an infection, because your body knows on an instinctive level that when you are infected, you need rest so your body can direct energy towards repairing itself) and isolation (so you don't expose anybody you care about to whatever you have). Depression is, in part, the body's response to detecting an infectious disease. Even if there is no disease, the symptoms the body uses to detect one may still be present, and can often be brought on by poor physical health. One of the first, best steps to fighting depression is improving physical health. Get more rest, drink more water, eat healthier foods, and step outside for some fresh air.
Or as another fictional character we saw deal with grief told us: "To train the mind, you must first train the body."
I feel like ive been improving my physical health for months and months No ive felt the same way for what feels like my whole life now.
Oh...so depression is kind of..."I want to protect others from my sadness and quite possibly my anger at myself."
I found I get out of episodes of depression faster when I really lean into it, instead of fighting it with distraction, trying to meet friends and doing cheerful things. Instead of feeling bad about it, I feel bad and sad in peace and accept that this pain is part of life too. I rest. I eat healthy comforting foods. I consume media that nourishes my soul. I treat it like a bout of illness. While when I struggle, I drag it out for weeks and months, like you would any infectious disease.
This is so well written. Thank you. I have depression and this is very soothing.
hehehhhehehehahahawhahahshahahahaha fkdsjaldf
i am fckin diseased.....
Another nice thing is Professor Callahan is a foil to Hiro's grief. He's an example of what happens when you don't deal with grief in a healthy way. Callahan becomes withdrawn, bitter, and obsessed. He blames everyone because he blames himself for not protecting his daughter. He is stuck in permanent anger and bargaining. Though his bargains are all one sides "you took her from me so now you must pay" bargains. He never accepted the fact that his daughter knew the risks and willingly went forward. He never let go of his own agency within that decision and never accepted that he couldn't have done anything to stop her. Where Hiro eventually learns that Tadashi would've gone in no matter what. He wanted to help people in need above all else. Eventually Hiro accepts that fact and begins to cherish the happy memories he and his brother had instead of wallow in the sadness that he won't be making any new ones with him.
The real sad thing is: If Callahan had actually stuck between denial and bargaining, he might have used his energy to try rescuing his daughter. Because he didn't, he ended up doing to Hiro what he himself suffered and killed a young man he most likely genuinely liked.
I think that right there is what separates the grief of a sudden death fron tbe grief of a death that was expected. With an expected death you know beyond a shadow of doubt that everything was out of your control and you dont get those thoughts. With a sudden death you cant escape obsessing over which of your decisions might have changed things. Its the biggest obstacle because you have to accept your lack of control in that situation to move forward
Just what I was thinking. Callahan couldn't accept the fact that sometimes these things just happen and there's nothing you can do about it, and nor did he understand that his daughter wouldn't have wanted him to do what he did. I like that he survived and now has a chance to redeem himself.
"That was his mistake"
Finally! Someone else gets this. I don’t understand how people (mainly popular video essay CZcamsrs, and their fans) don’t understand that.
I am starting therapy on Monday after years of being an ostrich and choosing not to feel anything in order to not be hurt again. I'm very nervous but I know its the right first step. This episode really got me!
Congrats on starting that journey. You got this!
What I interpreted in the part where baymax stay behind is that, Hiro finally is letting go of Tadashi. That he's ready to move on and create his own baymax with Tadashi still in his heart.
You all got me good with this one. When Jon mentioned keeping his father’s voicemails, I went and looked for voicemails on my phone from my Mom who died two years ago this week. I found three voicemails. The first two made me smile, random messages about stopping at Walgreens, could I pick something up, etc. In the third one I heard her say my name, and then it hit me that I hadn’t heard her voice say my name in two years. Then I was on floor in a ball, ugly crying hard. I guess I had more grief to expound emotionally than I knew, so I thank you all for that. Better out than in, as Mom used to say. ❤
My husband lost his parents back in December and months later, while trying to find a photo on my phone, I came across photos and videos I had of his mom. I have a weird habit of taking photos of people when the mood strikes me. I’m very grateful for the habit. The photos and videos I had of her was he and his mom playing with his sister’s baby. The baby was only about a year old. There was another video where he was teasing the baby and she slapped him. It was very bittersweet to share them with him, but he’s happy I did.
Grief isn't a state you pass through once and then it's gone. In many ways it becomes a part of us, the thing that changes is that over time it shows it's face less and less.
But every once in a while, the tide rolls in anew and you're hit all over again by the sorrow and loss.
I lost my grandpa 5 years ago, and sometime last year I stumbled upon a CZcams video from a family event I had missed in '09, and one of the things in it was my grandpa giving a talk. I realized it had been so long since I had heard his voice that I had almost forgotten what he sounded like - that brought it all on, especially since the last time I saw him was almost a year before he died (I live way out of state). I immediately saved it, because that's not one I'm letting go of.
If you've not done so already, find a way to record them somewhere more secure. It's too easy to lose a voicemail
Bless you, friend. I know I can't do much, but I sending lots of love and well-wishes your way.
"My healthcare directive has been violated" is a line that still hits me in the chest - Baymax isn't just a robot, he's a member of the family, and the idea that someone could just overwrite you if they disagree with you is terrifying.
And it also just highlights the betrayal of Tadashi’s intentions 😭
I think that's why he didn't allow Hiro to remove it a second time. He learned what can happen.
Yeah, that's why if you were unlucky enough to be held in an abusive group/cult and they programmed you, it takes mega work to ever over ride it again. It's taken my whole life and still ongoing. Running headlong into just a bit of that programming sent me into a year of panic attacks over a dozen years ago, not fun. I agree, it resonates.
And also why Baymax tries his best to pull his "patient" out of the dangerous mental spiral of revenge that the villain is firmly in. To make sure it doesn't happen again, and also to help Hiro through the grief that is pushing him to want very dangerous and bad things to happen to someone. Baymax is helping Hiro deal with his programming to safeguard his own programming as much as to help Hiro.
@@tinselPixie oooh, yikes. :( You have my sympathies.
Oh my God I don't know why I didn't realize Baymax's chip is on the left side of his chest where the human heart is located. Baymax's chip is a representation of Tadashi's caring heart!
i love that baymax is entirely devoid of humanity and is never anything else even when hes like "tadashi is here" and "i will always be with you" hes just being completely literal
I feel like the five stages of grief should really be called the five expressions of grief, because "stages" makes it seem like a process you go through and suggests an order, but there really is no order in how you express your grief.
This is a great point that is often overlooked. They mentioned in the video that you don't always go through them in a specific order, but you also don't go through them just once. That was the most helpful thing I learned in therapy after my dad died.
The 5 stages of grief have been totally debunked. There is no scientific basis for it. I'm honestly surprised they even brought it up here because it isn't real, and a therapist should know that.
They weren't ever even meant to apply to the bereaved. Kübler-Ross developed her stage model after interviewing many individuals with life-threatening illnesses. It was only the experiences of these patients that she attempted to model.
You don't bounce from acceptance to denial.
They're not even from the grief of losing a loved one. They're from when people have gone through major physical trauma like losing a limb.
They got "borrowed" from that for grief from losing a loved one and have stuck, but that's one of the things they don't always fit well with what the griever is actually going through.
@@gadgetgirl02 it's actually specifically for receiving a terminal diagnosis. Kübler-Ross interviewed 200+ dying patients as the basis for her work. It has nothing to do with bereavement, and is completely anecdotal. No empirical science involved.
I'm crying because of the movie scene and then Jonathan says: "It'll be allright. There, there." and then Alan says: "I'm satisfied with my care." Now I don't know whether to keep crying or start laughing.
Both is good!
I did both at the same time.
same!! I did both haha
yes
I tear up and laugh.
And as my culture says, I grew a horn in my butt.
During 22:08 and his response at first is “yes- no- I don’t know!” I wanted to mention (from personal experience and opinion) this is the logical side of his brain and emotional side fighting over which side is correct because Hiiro knows that killing the professor is wrong but he’s also driven by emotion that he wants the professor to suffer just something I wanted to mention because I did that a lot as well 😂
One thing I love about Baymax is everything he says is literal because he is a robot. When he says Tadashi is here, he is talking about a series of recordings of Tadashi, and when he says I will always be with you he is talking about the chip with all his memories and programming.
"There are people who are gonna love you back to life, and they're not going to take no for an answer. Thanks, people on the spectrum." That really hit home for me. I had a devastating break-up during the height of Covid with my life partner of 14 years, and my beautiful, wonderful, socially clueless friends on the spectrum were the best thing that could possibly have happened to me at that point. No matter how much i wanted to, they absolutely refused to let me crawl into myself and never come out. They were insistent that I was going to *live* again, and damn it if they didn't succeed. Love your spectrum friends, people - they're sometimes odd, but they can be the most amazing, huge-hearted humans out there.
As someone on the spectrum, I want to thank you. Most of my life I've felt like I had so much to give but people just didn't see it, didn't recognize it. I feel deeply, completely, passionately, not just towards my friends and family but also animals, plants, movies characters, you name it. But so often I've been ridiculed for it because I wasn't loving in the "conventional" way that has "normal society's stamp of approval". I'm 28 now, I didn't get my diagnosis until three years ago, so most of my life I just felt like everyone around me had gotten a memo on how to behave that no one bothered to share with me. Even though I've come a long way since my lonely past, and even though I've got true friends now who actually value me for me, it's still hard to believe whenever someone expresses that they actually value my kindness and empathy and that they see me as a caring, loving person. Finally there are people who actually appreciate receiving something from me, and it still feels surreal. The traumatized part of my mind still thinks it's a bubble that could burst at any second.
I hope you're happy again today. Or tomorrow. Or the week after. I dunno, but soon!
As someone on the spectrum, your gonna make me cry! 😭
don’t be afraid of saying autistic btw. as an autistic person “spectrum friends” sounds weird
@@violetjade64 Good point. I have to admit it makes me a little bit uncomfortable as well but I didn't mind because the message is so wholesome and positive. So no need to feel bad about it! But yeah, reducing autism to just the word '(on the) spectrum' (like they did in the video) makes it feel like our name is something taboo, something bad. Just say autistic person, or person with autism, it's fine.
Those fades to white.... yeah. It just feels so much like the static of being overwhelmed by everything. It's not even the darkness of depression, it's a mute blankness of just too much.
I know that we all accumulate loss as we go through life. Your comment hits the nail right on the head. Thank-you.
There is also a cultural aspect to it. In some non-European cultures, like the Japanese, white rather than black is the color associated with death.
When they came into the room to tell me my husband was gone, I fuzzed out into white and felt like I had been thrust into a static tunnel. That scene when the trauma occurred with the fading to white really can happen. And it's horrifying to do it as you lose your ability to think, see, hear from the shock. And people you don't know are there being detached telling you you're a widow and the chaplain is in there trying to be a comfort and you aren't attached to yourself at the moment.
I felt when Tadashi's cap fades its a subtle sign of Tadashi fading out of life .
15:43 you could say that all Hiro is seeing is red?
Because of the lighting in that moment, it was red.
I currently just “lost” a friend, they didn’t pass away, but they are no longer in my life anymore, and even though they aren’t completely gone, I found myself going through the stages of grief, so thank you for this video, this helped give me the final push into acceptance
Same here:( crazy how it can still hurt for so long even if they are still physically here.
This film is so underrated, Hiro is such a good main character.
It's not underated. They won a Oscar
@@lCoolPartner a lot of ppl are critical of it tho. Rightfully so but it still did a lot great.
Agreed, Hiro is the best type of protagonist, in that he grows majorly, and learns to rely on his family and friends.
I think unless you've gone through loss and grief it makes it harder to get past this movie's shortcomings... Like casting TJ Miller. It gets the concept and feeling of dealing with grief so right tho.
@@EZ33377 I watched the movie back then before losing My father and still hurts the same. Ppl Will always be critical but I still don't believe most of them thinks it's underrated
I got diagnosed w ASD this year and seeing the "symptoms" and getting that verbal "thanks people on the spectrum" really feels good. consoling people is difficult but helping people is rewarding :')
Agreed. When I was in elementary and saw a sad person at recess I often asked what was wrong, but later stopped because people who don't me don't want to tell me, but one time even though my friend was yelling at me I just continued my sentence because I knew he didn't want to hurt my feelings
Ditto, I didn’t realize that’s what I did until Jonathan mentioned it 😂 and oh my lord, as someone who also wants to be a counselor, that was the best thing I’ve heard all day 🥲🤍 and congrats on the diagnosis!! 🥰🎉
I have been diagnosed with ASD as-well I feel the same when he said that too
@@Emuly293 Wow....I did the same thing as a kid. If I saw someone sad in class, at recess, or on the bus I would ask them what was wrong and comfort them. But just like you as I got older I later stopped doing that because I realized most people didn't want to tell me and didn't feel comfortable with me comforting them.
I loved seeing how his awkward kindness was well-received. I used to think my awkwardness cancelled out anything good I had to offer. Totally not true - being awkward and kind means you're brave enough and care enough to TRY even though you don't know exactly what you say.
It's insane how much emotion and intent they were able to put behind the seemingly cold expression of Baymax. His face never moves and you can still tell exactly what he's trying to convey through the subtle vocal delivery and mannerisms.
This movie always made me emotional and since English isn't my first language, I have only watched it in my mother language, and the phrase "I am satisfied with my care" was changed to "I feel better". And the last scene with Baymax and Hiro, when he says "I will always be with you" and they hug, after that Hiro says "I feel much better now" and that never failed to make me cry.
The movie had always been my favorite and after losing a friend I had, it is held even more dear to me because of how similar my process is with Hiro's. It still hurts, it was a pretty recent loss, and I'm sure it will keep hurting for a very very long time, but I feel better now, and this movie always helps me out when I need that comfort, along with watching some more Cinema Therapy, of course : D
Oh my gosh, that is such a great translation and I think if I had watched it with that translation of the line I would be been completely gutted. Thank you for sharing that.
That moment, when Baymax says, "I will always be with you." His voice changed ever so slightly, making it feel like he was Tadashi saying that.
I thought I heard that too, which is why it wrecked me, again.
I wonder if that was truly intentional.
Exactly! My interpretation was that he sound more human but sounding like tadashi is another great take
It was one of the few moments where you feel like this squishy bouncy healthcare has a heart and soul, i swear i can see baymax smiling there
I love the parallel that Tadashi risks his life because he needs to help, and by the end of the movie Hiro also risks his life to save someone, he has to help.
I don't remember the movie saying she is their aunt
As someone on the spectrum: we know what hurting looks like and we know we all have different needs when we are hurting. I think people on the spectrum are a great blank canvas, we don’t assume what you need, we don’t tell you to just cheer up, and we don’t ignore you because that’s easier than dealing with your feelings. One of the biggest misconceptions is that we lack empathy and that’s one of the most wrong and hurtful things I’ve ever heard about because we absolutely do have empathy and A LOT of it, it’s just looks different. For example I have learned that my boyfriend needs distractions, and my best friend needs silence. So I adapt my approach based on the person who is grieving and i make it all about the person and not about myself, except i feel like relating to the person could help.
One of my favorite things about this movie is how much detail there is in it. This movie isn’t actively hyper realistic but the amount of detail that they include into the movements and human actions are the most incredible part and they raise the scale of realistic portrayal.
Things like
-Hiro swallowing after he screams tadashis gone
-Hiro rubbing the lamp when he’s uncomfortable talking about tadashi with Baymax
-baymaxes head moving ever so slightly when he talks
And like they said the small detail of things like tears in the waterline.
All of these things make the movie FEEL real and you don’t have to rely on the movie LOOKING real. It’s almost like if it FEELS real it glosses over things having to LOOK real.
You can meet the Baymax character at Epcot in Orlando. When you hug him, he feels exactly how you think he would. That's what makes the animation so amazing, they did an impeccable job with texture.
Hubby and I waited in line just so I could have the chance to hug Baymax and photographers started snapping photos before I even hugged him and those pics leading up to the hug, I look so goofy happy to have the chance to meet Baymax and he is most soft and wonderful and recommend everyone hug Baymax once in their life.
@@imakuni2003 it is truly such a warm and comforting experience
Baymax was easily my favorite part of the movie. He was quite literally the beacon of light guiding Hiro/Us through sadness. At least that is how I saw him.
Tickets. NOW.
It’s pretty rare for me to comment on videos, but I wanted to thank you for talking about the power of technology for keeping someone’s memory alive. It prompted me to go back through old voicemails and recordings. I had one voicemail left from my mom, and a recording of my dad telling a story. They brought up a lot of emotions for me, and it was exactly what I needed. Thank you for sharing your experience so openly; it really helped.
You are so welcome.
I also kept a short recorded voicemail of my husband. "Hey. Call me. Bye."
I recently lost my grandpa, and I have this voicemail of him wishing me a happy birthday, and it makes me cry every time I listen to it
I have my friends voicemails on my phone and I listen to them from time to time. She was murdered two years ago. I think of her all the time.
I lost my little brother in 1998 when I was 15. I'm able to look at pictures and even short videos with him (our Super-8-Camera didn't record sound) but still after all those years I didn't have the courage of listening to some audio tapes recorded when we were little.
I think this movie really gets me because I’m 10000% Tadashi in this movie. And I can definitely see parts of my little brother in Hiro. And this movie always gets me because seeing Hiro’s response to Tadashi’s death just makes me start thinking of how would my death affect my brother. And this movie shows me how I think he would deal with it (minus you know, the whole superhero and robot part lol). But my brother looks up to me so much, and I’ve recently left for college, he’s going to middle school next year, and I just know I’m going to hate not always being able to be there for him. I never had an older brother growing up and I know how much I would’ve loved it if I did. And just knowing that I have a chance to be the person I always wanted in my life for my brother is just such an awesome opportunity. Knowing that I won’t always be there for him absolutely devastates me. I’m his older brother, I’m supposed to be there to look out for him and protect him. That will always be my job no matter how old he gets. On a different note, this really makes me think about why I am the way I am, and I think it has a lot to do with hating being away from family and having lost many important people to me in my life from such an early age. My first experience with death was from as early as the age of 6. Ironically enough, it was the loss of my two little twin brothers (miscarriage). From then on I always saw myself as the glue that held the family together. My parents were absolutely devastated after we had lost them, and rightly so. I really didn’t understand grief yet, so I just assumed it was my fault for asking for brothers and even to this day, I still some what feel that way even though I know I couldn’t possibly have been at fault. Somehow blaming myself makes it hurt a little less and I don’t know why. But since then I’ve known I don’t like losing people. And being in a military family didn’t help with my dislike of losing people. I’ve lost many friends due to moving, I’ve lost other family members to just natural causes. The most impactful one happened two weeks after we lost the boys. My great grandma who I was really close with got in a car accident and was on life support for a little under a month. In case you couldn’t tell, she didn’t make it. But my whole life I’ve been absolutely terrified of losing the people I love and care about. And recently just over a year ago I lost someone who I held dear to me. And the worst part is that they’re not really gone, they just chose to leave. And I didn’t realize how much more that would hurt me. And it sounds so stupid in comparison but when I look at why this hurt me more than anything else I see why. With the other people I’ve lost they didn’t choose to leave. They wanted to stay, they wanted me to stay. With this most recent one, they chose to leave me, they chose to go the rest of their life without me. And that stings so much more than I could ever hope to explain. Sorry, I’m getting really off topic now. But back to my main thing, I think the main reason I’m terrified of growing up isn’t what most people’s reasons are. I’m not scared to make my own path, to go it alone. Maybe not go it alone actually, more like I know what I want to do and what I need to do to get there. I know I can do it. I’m scared I won’t be there for everyone that I love and care about, especially my family. And I know I need to start learning to accept letting things and people go, but that’s just, god it’s so hard. It’s not even me being selfish like I need them to be with me. It’s more like I need to be with them incase they need me. I hardly ever think about myself, I’m almost always thinking about how I can help others, or what I can do to make someone else’s life easier. I don’t know. Sorry for the essay if anyone ends up reading this. It’s 6am and I’m feeling homesick so I got emotional and started typing out my life story in a CZcams comments section. In case you can’t tell, I’m lonely asf lmao. If you actually read all this, thank you, and you definitely could have done something way more productive 😂
@26:12 I find it ironic that Jonathan is wearing red like beta max!
From someone who experienced depression, the best way I can explain Why people want to stay depressed is because depression is a comfortable misery. After all, you can't be let down if you expect the worst out of life.
Even if you try to heal there is always that fear that tells you: What if it gets worst? and that is why you always need that friend who ignore all the social clues and take you to do fun activities against your will.
Having been through depression too, that was not my experience.
You just feel devoided of any emotion, no ounce of joy and some occasional spikes of hurt and sadness. You stay depressed because you're just empty of any will to do anything about the overwhelming hurt, even hunger doesn't faze you anymore.
You just feel this big hole in your heart, it's emotional but almost hurt you physically, and you don't feel any reason to be hopeful about the future being better.
So you just exist, in-between your survival instinct that prevents you from ending it all and the emptiness of your heart.
That is exactly it. I pushed off getting better because I didn’t want the unknown of being happy. Because being happy means you can fall from that joy. Misery was a comforting friend who was always mad at you for being happier than they were.
It really reminds me of a lyric “Depression’s like a big fur coat, its made of dead things but it keeps me warm.” The song is called Iodine, the band is Icon For Hire. Highly recommend if you like rock music that gets super real about depression and mental health in the best way possible.
That is beautifully dark
@@devilsadvocate2643I think what the original commenter expressed is often the experience of people who have been depressed for prolonged periods of time. Years or even decades. Many eventually feel comfortable in their misery, and some may not even remember a time before they felt the way they do. The fear of committing to being a way you felt you haven't been in a long time or have never been, is large and can keep people seeking the comfort of their predictable, never changing emptiness.
I love the symbolism of Hiro taking out Baymax's healthcare chip (analogous to Hiro's compassion) and just leaving his fighter chip there (analagous to Hiro's anger and hatred) soon after he realized Callahan indirectly killed Tadashi, and how his closest friend got hurt trying to stop Baymax from just completely obliterating Callahan, which I think is a representation of how anger resulting from grief _can_ sometimes lead you to unintentionally hurting the people that are trying to help you if not managed properly.
To me the second fade to white after the EXTERNAL explosion signifies the realization of what Hero just lost and the INTERNAL explosion that comes with it.
8:43 "Every time you feel anger, it's actually something else in disguise" - A truer line has never been spoken😓😔🥹😭
Just like most deaths of a family members, Tadashi's death hits as an explosion, sudden and tragic.
Yeah my mom lost her cousin a few years ago and she was sad throughout the whole event from the news of his death and our trip to go to the funeral and when it was time to go up and view the casket she broke down and my father had to pick her up and besides me and my youngest brother everyone cried at some point i think I’m neurologically numb to a point or i was subconsciously being that pillar of support for my family alongside my father
@@CrazyGamebino I was like that for most family deaths at a young age. They weren't really people I knew, so I didn't feel too badly. I was detached from the situation, but held close to it. I usually acted as emotional support, but that was it.
Then we lost our first dog. He was part of my family. My home. And that was sad. But I still felt some detachment, because he loved my father most, and his sickness caused him to get angry with everyone. The one who felt it most was my father. And while I hate that man, I decided I would let him hug me and cry as he did. That was about 7 years ago.
Then we lost our first dog we ever had, about 2 years ago. I was her Person, and it was emotionally destroying. I still kick myself over how unpleasant her final days were. I'd had her since I was five. She was my best friend, and she loved me more than anything.
Then, February 10th of this year, we lost their runt. She suddenly developed both of her parents' health problems, at 11 years old. Her chances were extremely slim, and our funds weren't very flexible. I was the one who had to make the decision. While driving between our place and the vet's, we'd keep suddenly exploding into frantic sobs. Mom was her Person, and while she wasn't always so happy with me (probably because she was a senior, whereas I'm still very young), she definitely did love me, too. This one hurt especially because it was so sudden, and she was our last. And we kept each other company when we were alone.
I thought, for a while, that I was partially impervious to grief. But I've since learned that grief is only something you feel for those that are truly dear to you.
@@bluelfsuma tbf my mind is a fucked landscape of compassion and rage and has been since I was a child being bullied for my stutter didn’t help but even then I expected some type of emotional response I was the only one there that didn’t really emote in anyway my father even as a pillar of support for my mother did cry at some points himself I just showed compassion for my younger brother who broke down in tears as well but I never cried or felt saddened by the fact that I was at the funeral of someone who was around me at early point that I can say he was a distant memory as a baby and a solid memory of graduating from high school a few years prior to his death as one of the last times I interacted with him
@@CrazyGamebino I didn't really feel anything but "huh" for either of my great-grandmas, and we interacted semi-frequently. One died when I was about 9? And I met with her every now and then. The other died when I was a teenager, and I felt more comfortable around her, yet saw her less.
I felt kinda gross for not being more sad about the latter passing. But we just weren't close enough for me to really feel a hole in my life.
I think Hiro's form of Denial is that while he accepted Tadashi _died,_ he hadn't yet accepted the idea of Tadashi no longer being part of his life. There's a great quote from Hiro in the S2 finale of the follow-up series -- which continued exploring Hiro's personal journey of discovering who he wanted to be -- where he says about Tadashi _"I used to think having a legacy just meant that people remembered you, but now I realize it's more than that. It's when the things that were important to you live on in the people who loved you."_
Ooof, that quote hit me hard. Thank you. ❤
Wait THERE WAS A FOLLOW UP SERIES WHY IS THIS THE FIRST IVE HEARD OF THIS I NEED TO FIND THIS NOW.
...Also, uuughh...I feel that acceptance-of-death/not-fully-accepted-they're-not-part-of-your-life thing in my life. I lost my dad to a random heart attack about two months ago, and while I've largely accepted it and started to move on...On some level I haven't fully done so yet, and I think it's that exact reason.
@@AegixDrakan Yep, it was a very good show! The animation style is very different but I really enjoyed it. All of the characters got a chance to shine in ways they weren't able to in the film.
@@jijitters ...OH! It's a cartoon!
WELL, that's something I may want to give a looksee at in the near future! :D Time to make this Disney + subscription worth a damn again.
@@AegixDrakan All 3 seasons should be on Disney+ at this point. Also I'm sorry to hear about your dad, my condolences.
(PS, if you liked Tangled, hopefully you know they made a follow-up series to that as well.🙂)
As someone who lost their brother suddenly, I can really relate to the main character. But instead of pushing people away I couldn't be alone with myself, the pain was too much alone and with people, I could push it back. Push it out with my mind, but at night when alone I just sobbed till I just passed out. I ended up having a nervous breakdown that nearly completely derailed my life. My brother was my best friend, he was the one person I knew had my back, I knew I could count on, and I knew really loved me for me. It was hard, very very hard but it's been almost three years and every day is one step forward to recovery.
One thing you guys didn’t show a clip of was the moment Hiro echoed Tadashi’s last words, “Someone has to help.” You mentioned early on in the video about Hiro not knowing who he is and I feel like that’s such a powerful moment in his character progression. This movie completely destroyed me emotionally though, I feel like I was the only one who didn’t know what was going to happen to Tadashi. Getting blindsided like that was devastating
When Hiro says "it still hurts", I felt that. Especially since I lost my grandmother and my last phone call with her still haunts me to this day. Schaffrillas Productions may make fun of this movie all day long, but there's no denying how emotional this movie is
Oh man I'm a Schaff fan but the way he made fun of this movie really hurt my soul 😭
@@georgewashingmachine3957 i mean it is really good but can you really blame him for finding the plot twist villain awful?
@@isidoooora Yeah Callahan wasnt the best villain. Not because it was too obvious, personally I thought Callahan was a good balance between unexpected and obvious, but because of how he reacted to one of his students dying in trying to save him made him really unlikable and one dimensional. If he at least demonstrated some guilt about it Callahan would have been a better villain i think.
"Thanks spectrum friends, we love you!" Is probably the most heartwarming and precious thing that anyone has said to those of us who are Neurodivergent. Thank you.
I know that was so sweet 😭 I love them back! And I love all my depressed friends who I pester constantly!
agreed!
They’re so precious, and they never cease to amaze me
I’ve been a film lover for my entire life with my ultimate goal being a filmmaker but I was very detached from the overall emotion of the movies. I liked excitement and joy and that’s about it. This was the first movie I ever cried during and accepted the full spectrum of the emotional consequences of storytelling and it will forever mean the world to me for that
9:14 I figure pushing past social cues and continuing with relentless love/care helps a lot because that's what pushed me out of my walls and encouraged me to jump over my hurdles.
-Signed a high functioning spectrum resident.
"anger is always masking something else" God that hit me hard and makes so much sense to me.
Another quote about anger was in a recent episode they did about the Hulk:
"Sometimes it's easier being angry than being sad..."
Makes me wonder if they ever read spider robinson, he's well known for that line.
Two core emotions:
love
fear
Everything other emotion originates in one of those two core emotions. At its core, anger is deeply rooted in fear.
At the moment where you showed the clip of Sirius Black saying, "The ones who love us never really leave us," suddenly through my open window, the smell of my beloved grandmother's old house carried through to me. I lost her almost a decade ago, but I still think about her every day, and often still cry. I just lost my father at the end of last year, too, and couldn't get home to see him because of the pandemic. It's been hard. Thank you for doing this movie. Of course I'm crying again, but it's somewhat cathartic.
she is with you 🧡
They are with you💖 even though you can't see them physically.
25:28 I was blinking together with Alan, what a coincidence we must've both had a radom gust of wind in our eyes
8:30 He does go through Denial in a small way, because Baymax says “Tadashi is here.” Trying to show Hero that Tadashi lives on, but Hero knows he isn’t really there and Denies that a part of his brother can and does live on.
"if life has no meaning then at least it doesn't hurt"
I felt that so deeply.
Me too
I always wondered how anyone could bear to take that approach. Least now it makes sense. I mean, it doesn't make sense, but it also does...? Psychology in a nutshell, I guess.
My favorite song as a teen was Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a Rock." "...and a rock feels no pain....and an island never cries..." Very true. Thankfully I moved on but sometimes you really do stay there for a while.
My mother, who was my inspiration said, "You don't get over grief, you just eventually get through it." If that helps anyone. Gotta go through the grief before you are okay. Bless you, guys!
That is awesomely said! I think it should be said about all the "dark" emotions.
I've always said the hurt never goes away, and it can also hit you out of nowhere years later by something as simple as a smell or taste, but you just get better at living with the grief
As those fish in Finding Nemo said: “swim through it, not over it.”
@J Rakoczy "get over it"(quote)
Getting over the loss; and "pushing through" the debilitating emotional flood....
...are two sides of the same coin.
You're working with the memories (coin) that produces a chemical reaction; that is expressed in your emotional expression (heads/ tails) .
You manage memories by limiting the sad ones. You can use tools like puppy pictures; that stimulate your hilarious memories, for example.
Use recordings of jokes that you shared with your living friends and relatives to refocus your mind away from the one that you've lost.
If your memory prompts you to call that friend that you're laughing with, in the recording; then reach out immediately to reminisce and share a live exchange of laughter. (Release "happy" chemistry to nourish your body as frequently as possible; as grief tends to put your body on a continuous "sad" chemistry dietary restriction)
People confuse the requirement of moving from " hurt to heal " ... as a process of forgetting about their loved ones.
"HOW IS UNLOVING POSSIBLE?"
I'm delighted to say, "that it's not possible. "
Your goal to reach a state of healing; consists of, managing your body's chemistry. i.e. Akin to managing your diet.
A small amount of sadness is healthy when you're reminded of loss.
But, learning to clear your mind is something that maturity allows you to master.
12:34 I nearly spit out my water, I was shaking so hard. You two are truly friendship goals.
I've just sent both of my Labradors into a frenzy because I cried so hard at this. They're both desperately trying to offer me their toys to cheer me up.
I'm going to quote one of my favourite Marvel shows ever: "What is grief if not love persevering?"
One of my favorite quotes from movies and books !
Everyone talks about 'Inside Out' as the catharsis film.. this movie made me react (internally and externally) so much harder than 'IO' ever did. 💯
I felt this. Everyone talks about inside out and how hard they cried but I didn’t cry at IO the first time I watched it. (Definitely did later in life but that’s because I could relate to the story more) At the time, I’d just lost my aunt, who was basically my best friend from ages 4 to 9. It hurt and watching this movie just broke me. I bawled like a baby.
@@astrocake584 I didn't cry at IO any more than I would during another movie where a good character dies, but my dad has depression and he said it hit him really hard. He really loves that movie.
@@Ikine557 yeah, after being diagnosed of clinical depression, IO hit harder than it did back in 2015 when I first saw it.
@@Ikine557 Same, but with chronic dissociation. I went through a period of around 4 years or so where at Every. Single. Moment, I was completely cut off from my whole inner life. I didn't know what I wanted, or why I was doing anything, or what/IF I was feeling. All I had was a lingering sense that "It was better before." Inside Out hit me really hard in the scenes where her childhood was disappearing and nothing came to replace it. And at the end, where her emotions are still there but the board's gone black and she can't hear them anymore... I know what that's like. I think Inside Out is known as a cathartic film, not because it's inherently more influential than any other movie, but just because so many more people have had the kinds of experiences where they can relate to it.
Brick red anger in that Hero suit!
As someone who feels broken quite often this movie helped a lot.
"I'm not giving up on you. You don't know it yet, but the world needs you"
Do you know how impactful that is to those of us who have given up or feel like we're cast aside? Alone and unwanted? It's something we long to hear. And for me it deeply resonated
As a kid that lost his mother semi recently, I get what hiro is going through. The sadness that you think will never end, that rage that makes you feel powerless, and most importantly, the acceptance that the person knew what you were destined to do and they’re always watching you, waiting to see you achieve greatness. My mother always loved to help, so I hope to one day help others just as much
18:16 To be fair, most people in that situation would have stubbornly replied "Yes!" multiple times with even more conviction.
It's surprising that Hiro was actually considering Baymax's question rather than dismissing it.
I know right! he's a very considerate person (literally)
Really? I thought it would be the more common answer in the scenario, it certainly fits the character and im not dismissing the thoughtfulness, but I thought of it more like a wake up call.
I was in nursing school when this movie came out. I sobbed as a sibling, a writer, an artist, and as a care provider. My nursing instructor that I asked said that they also cried. So many of us cried because we will help so many people and we know what grief is, and if only we could help everybody and keep on helping.
Damn this movie is great.
This is like one of my absolute favorite movies ever, maybe my MOST favorite even. One thing I feel like I don’t see people talking about a whole lot is the small little detail of how Hiro copies some of Tadashi’s mannerisms which I just think is a really really amazing detail. It’s been a long time since I watched the movie all the way through so I don’t remember all of them but I do remember distinctly that Tadashi is shown a couple of times saying “unbelievable” in a specific tone, and later on through the movie Hiro repeats it a couple times, like he’s copying these little things maybe subconsciously even just to keep Tadashi alive in some small way. I’ve just always loved that addition because it’s never even mentioned or anything it’s just a subtle thing that happens and it’s really beautiful.
I lost my dad about 8 months ago. I could not confront it until I watched this video, and I have watched it multiple times because I need this. I can't accept he's gone, I need to hear John's words and Alan's realism. I am sobbing.
I watched this movie about a year after my older brother died in an accident and it honestly changed my life. This movie really helped me come to terms with my brother's death and try and be more like him as a way of keeping his kindness and warm heart in the world somehow
My condolences for your loss, I'm glad that this movie was able to be of comfort to you. 🤗💕
"What is grief, if not love persevering?" - The Vision (Wandavision)
Damn you 😢
I feel sorry for "adults" that refused to watch animated movies because they are "too childish" or targeted at children. Animated movies have some of the most thought out, developed, and relatable characters. My brother joined the army about 10 years before this movie came out, and was deployed twice to Iraq/Afghanistan. I remember the constant fear of losing him. When this movie came out, that fear was re-ignited and I absolutely related to Hero and his grief (even though I never actually lost my brother). I still cry watching this movie, hell I cried just watching the clips with you guys again.
Thanks for the excellent commentary and insight into both the psychological and theatrical elements of the movie.
Something I noticed: Baymax moves one part at a time, the whole movie. He turns his head, THEN he turns his body, THEN he takes a step. EXCEPT when Hiro removes his medical chip. Then his movements are fluid, he moves his arms and legs at the same time, turns his head while walking. The detached movements that show Baymax as Baymax are removed when Hiro removes "what makes Baymax... Baymax."
This is the one marvel movie that doesn’t get as much credit as others. I’m very glad that you guys gave your opinions on this movie🙏🏾
is it actually a marvel movie? like officially? I know Stan Lee is in it, but I thought that was an Easter egg or something
@@norwegianpride7523 It's an adaptation of a Marvel Comic so, yes, it is.
But it's not part of the MCU if you happen to confuse the two
@@doomse150 oh, ok. cool!
The storytelling emotion-wise is honestly really well done. Hiro's lose was relatable in many ways and his growth also felt genuine too.
The show is amazing too. And a new show is coming out soon
This episode of Cinema Therapy hit me extra hard. My sister committed suicide a few months ago, and for long I’ve been depressed, so it hit really close to home. I’m really struggling, and it’s so hard to handle the grief and guilt. Your videos help me feel comforted, and I really appreciate you for what you do. I’m so grateful that you put out these videos, they really help me cope with all the things that has been happening. Of course the pain and grief isn’t going away anytime soon, maybe it never will, but I’m learning how to better deal with my feelings thanks to you guys.
I just wanted to thank both of you, you’re both great people who deserve all the love appreciation in the world. Your videos are great, and so are you two.
I am so sorry for your loss, I hope the best for you
@@azaaellise Thank you, I hope the best for you as well
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand. My sister committed suicide almost three years ago and it hasn't hurt any less. You just try to do what you can, because that's all you can do. Do your best to keep moving forward and like they said, try to honor their memory by living in the way that would make them proud.
I am sorry for all the pain that you are experiencing, losing a sister is so heartbreaking, in the distance feel yourself hugged.
I'm so sorry, I'm sure she was so, so wonderful.
TW for discussion of a loss and coping metods!
When I lost my grandpa, I barely stayed in the denial stage. I was on vacation during that time on Kos, scrapped everything and came home immediately. It was a tough time, especially because I went straight to the depressive stage. I tried to isolate myself and pretend to be fine but eventually, a huge fear of death and illness came up. I started imagining health issues, which caused my heart rate and blood pressure to rise. I often got dizzy and had trouble breathing because of that fear. I know this sounds awful but this was actually what caused me to seek help. I got so scared that I went to family to talk about my concerns. I was barely of age back then and didn't really know how to fix appointments with specialist doctors yet. My family took me by my hand, got me to rest after I haven't slept in 8 days (actually) and finally made me eat (after going without for 8 days as well since I was so nauseous). They even helped me make some appointments to help ease my fears. Took me quite a while to get over the rest of the grief after that anyway and I still feel hurt and fear of forgetting his voice or face (Thank god for phones). There are tons of things I wish I would have done when saying goodbye, even staying, even though grandpa insisted I go enjoy myself on my holiday.
What I am trying to say is that getting help in grieving situations is incredibly hard and if you are currently going through something like this, then I'd like to tell you that it might not seem that way right now but it will get better again. Try to seek help or even just closure with family or friends. Don't isolate yourself since it will only make everything feel worse in the long run. Try to find comfort in some blankets, a place, a drink, maybe a book and most importantly: other people who are close to you. They probably feel the same as you and grieving together and being there for each other, makes it so much more bearable. I know that everyone grieves differently. Methods for coping should never be harmful. And please accept this virtual hug!
I know I’m a bit late but thank you for sharing your experience. Virtual hug for you 🤍
Grief has been a huge part of my life the last few years. Last year I lost my best friend to terminal cancer (she was 32). I’ve known her since I was 13…..almost 20 years. And a week after her funeral my husband’s grandmother passed away. Then last November my grandfather passed away and THEN back in March (a year to the day when my best friend passed) my friend from college passed away too. And it’s been 5 years since my friend Ryan died from kidney failure. He was 28……it’s been really really hard. Going back and rewatching this movie and the “Tadashi is here” scene brooooooke me. 😢 but the “what is grief?” line from WandaVision really has helped me
The interesting thing is that when it was revealed to be Callahan, Hero was more upset then angry until Callahan said that it was Tadashi’s mistake aka his fault for him getting himself killed which was what set Hero off and to be honest, it’s very realistic since I don’t think I would have reacted calmly if my mom or someone that I love died trying to save someone and that person was saying that it was their fault that they died.
I love how everyone tries to approach Hiro trought the movie and get him back. As Jono said, Hiro is in his depression stage and doesn't want to be bothered out of it. He spends the whole day alone in his bedroom, doesn't eat, doesn't talk anybody, yet everyone keeps doing their best to look out for him even though he keeps pushing them away. Baymax keeps trying to take care of him, Aunt Cass still goes to his room to check on him all the time, Hiro's friends keep calling him and try to spend time with him.. Hiro keeps cutting them off, yet they DON'T GIVE UP- Then, when Hiro builds the super hero suits, he starts to get close to his friends again, he accepts Baymax's treatment, Hiro starts to accept help. He finally stops pushing everyone away and accepts the comfort they all are offering him, and it's honestly so heartwarning
One correction I need to make is that, Hiro wasn't originally close with Tadashi's friends. Hiro...didn't really have any friends at all, and that's also part of why the loss hit him so hard. Tadashi was literally his entire world, and then he was gone. He wasn't letting the other in because, to him, they were acquaintances. They were Tadashi's friends, and with Tadashi gone, he couldn'tfind it in himself to try to forge a connection past that. It was through Baymax, a kind of extension of Tadashi, that he started building up that connection to them and actually became friends.
And, honestly, them trying to help him in his depression despite not being very close to Hiro himself just goes to show how caring they were as people. I think they were also trying to reach out to help him through all of their mutual trauma and loss, because they all loved Tadashi, too. They loved Tadashi, and Tadashi loved Hiro, so they wanted to help and love him, too.
@@platinum_noelle very good point 💜
What I love is that while we can interpret the end as "Beymax can feel emotions" he has never once used a figurative expression. He is purely literal, so if we weren't absolutely sobbing at the moment we would've put together that he'd literally always be with him.
This reminds me of when I lost my fiance when we were both 23. I remember how hard I fought the world to make sure the dream we wanted when we were together to come true I slowly began to ostracise myself. While I really think about it I believe that was me refusing to fully let her go since it was all I still had of her. That scene where Hiro makes Baymax a weapon reminds me of that. When we were together Baymax was a beautiful vision then Baymax becomes a terrifying idea that scares everyone away from me. It wasn't until I let go of the Baymax we created together, our dream, and create my own Baymax, my own dream, did I find the satisfaction of life that our dream was actually about creating. A great movie and even better analysis. Thank you so much Cinema Therapy!