Learning How to Listen Is a Skill That Is Absolutely Unbeatable
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- čas přidán 17. 08. 2022
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Beautiful clip. I learn/am reminded of something truly good every time that I watch one of these clips.
I like you Dr. Peterson, but you have a inability to practice what you're trying to preach in this video. You're constantly interrupting the person whoever you're engaging with that it gets tedious at best and unnerving at worst. That's the only criticism i can point out that can be levied at you, kind sir.
Justin Trudeau does not have the ability to listen. This is his key deficit.
Though he's most likely not a psychopath, JP seems to have narcissist characteristics. He teaches men to avoid vices yet he seems completely oblivious to his own indulgence in these vices.
His don't look behind the curtin moment for me was when he insulted respected trans man , Elliot Page by talking about his breast removal and deadnaming. I dare him to have called Muhammad Ali Cashious Clay to his face if we had a time machine.
The real problem I had with this episode was that his reaction to having his account suspended was a video where he just came across as unhinged using language like “sons of bitches” and “I'd no sooner die than remove thar tweet”. He also analyzed his tweet 100 different ways. It just looked desperate and over the top. He also was in a dark room which gave the video dr evil meme like qualities. All of these elements were a revelation to me about how big his ego is.
My observation was that he had this same “over my dead body” response to Canadian bill c-16 which he claimed would enforce pronoun use (though other sources debate this claim). This stance which was covered in the Kathy Newman interview, is what conservative outlets used to springboard him to fame. It's what he's most known for. Thus I believe when he perceived twitter as defending a transperson against his unflattering comments towards that person, it was as if his reputation was on the line.
Kyle Kulinski told JP that he knew of a transman who claimed transition was very beneficial for his mental state. He asked JP if given that JP was all about supporting freedoms would he not at least support the freedom for this transman to transition? It was a perfect blow to Peterson. His whole freedom platform was turned against him. He was clearly upset at having his own words used against him. He either had to support transition for some transpeople or his persona of sacrificing his life for freedom was all a hoax. Cornered by his own reasoning at 6:50 in the video below Peterson devolved the argument to quibbling over syntax when Kyle made a simple point that the lgbt community has been historically marginalized. Any honest debater would have accepted that obvious point and moved on. Peterson was clearly angered and wanted to use cheap petty syntactic disputes to somehow in his narcissist mind, claim a small victory.
This inability to respect another position that may be valid is the hallmark of narcissist behavior.
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The majority of people, and I include myself in this unfortunately, hear to respond rather than to listen. It is something I really want to change about myself, because it is truly an invaluable skill as Mr P states. I feel everyone would progress much further in life being able to do this, even more so if one wants to be a leader of sorts.
I have a lot more work to do on myself. But I had my first real job the past couple of years working at a gas station and it was really challenging. I've had confidence issues to deal with, and learning how to do with stressful situations in customer service. But I think I can feel proud that I was one of the best employees that my boss has had, she told me herself. And I think that might have been down to the fact that I listened to her and co-workers when things went wrong in the workplace and it was affecting work relationships in a bad way. My boss was horrible at communicating what she wanted of the staff and got angry when things didn't go her way. This ended up in nobody wanting to talk to her and just leaving her alone. That only made things worse. So I decided voluntarily to talk to her on multiple occasions and listen to what she had to say, and one time she just ended up crying saying she's overhelemed and too stressed and that she needs to talk to someone like a professional about it. It didn't exactly solve the problem, but I think we were on better terms after that and she didn't get upset at everyone so much.
@@zonefreakman Firstly I want to commend you for not only doing the job you did, but also thriving in it, when you have confidence issues. I know what that's like and what it takes, so kudos to you!
That's a great story about your boss. Usually anger is the layer on top protecting a wound, or some sort of vulnerability, which is why people get angry much faster than upset. It's far easier, as Mr P has said before. The fact you were able to penetrate that defence enabled her to open up, which is amazing! I need to take lead from your example more.
So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?
I read that as quickly as possible so I could respond...
Lol, this is very true. It's so easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and opinions on what the other is saying, rather than trying to understand and as Peterson said, summarise what they're saying in order to propagate the conversation.
yes Mr Potato is very correct indeed
I got better at listening to people over a span of five years (around the time I started watching Jordan P.).
It was really rough, other people reflected my own insufficiencies back at me. It was hard not to swipe at them, I habitually acted out "an eye for an eye".
I didn't even realize I was doing it.. that's fascinating.
Jordan, you helped me orient myself in ways I can't even begin to comprehend right now. I am eternally grateful for your work.
So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?
the line "you can be absolutely dead, but there is only so happy you can be" is quite profound
I did this with a relationship I had, and it seemed to improve immediately! The change was measurable. Never thought it would help so fast!
A relationship you "had".
What went wrong?
Same
@@Apeiron242 maybe it went right
I’ve noticed so many people not only do not “listen” but they actively hijack the conversation…
truly listening means really removing the ego.
Kinda? You also need your ego to listen at all, ears, a heart, senses, all of that. Don't be so quick to kill your ego, you're the one who created it.. when it's time to blame someone, better to use a mirror.
"If the envious part of you isn't jealous of the revelation of the goodness of the person" 💥 damn 💯
In business, i always appreciate it when colleagues write down whats being said.
Sometimes its not listening thats the issue but comprehension.
As a teacher, I would often tell the pupils to put down their pen, close their notebook, and pay full attention. Too often, the note-taking distracts one's understanding. I was taught this at teacher-training and realised it was true.
Comprehension is a skill unto itself.
@@castelodeossos3947 are you also writing things on the board? Or is talking while writing too much of a distraction for you?
@@nadeemamode
Obviously not, since I know beforehand what I'm going to write, while it's new for the pupils/students. Also asked the students whether they thought it was a good idea first to listen without writing and only then write, and they agreed.
@@castelodeossos3947 thats fine. Writing during or after both have benefits. As long as youre capturing something.
Even when i listen to my instructors, im not writing out everything. Maybe the things that stick out and others that are not so obvious.
Sometimes I find the need to improve my listening skills. Thank you Jordan. ✝️❤️
This is one of my biggest issue of public education. They want to learn, but do not (generally) give the skills to learn such as listening, taking notes, ...
Even as adults, learners sometimes expect the instructor to do the learning for them. Work/effort is a part of learning.
"Listen to the fool, for even the fool has a story to tell".
I tell my kids there is a difference between hearing something and listening to something. The sooner they can tell the difference the better.
100% listening is not a passive task.
"People hearing without listening" - Simon and Garfunkel
Listening is respecting . There are few people that actually know how to listen properly at present . People talk , but few listen to each other .
It is respectful to listen to the other persons point of view , even if it cannot be agreed with . It is frustrating to say something , and know it wasnt listened too
In any relationship with parents, partners , children , friends and foes . The art of listening is essential
It is lacking in in all walks of life . And thus we have conflict .
So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?
I’m definitely going to carefully listen to this one!
Not only listen but listen, learn and apply.
Im sorry.
What were you saying?
@@deanmccrorie3461 “See you weren’t even listening” 😂 if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me🤑
@@talmadhoun i like turtles too. But iguanas more
@@deanmccrorie3461 Not all who like turtles are zombies and some so-called intellectuals are zombies.
@@talmadhoun You mean like Vaush?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart Dr. Peterson ❤️
This is my favourite video of Peterson.
Love from Germany!
Wow. This is the same kind of encouragement given in a book called "Transforming The Difficult Child: A Nurtured Heart Approach," which is very useful for parents dealing with oppositional defiance disorder and such like behavioral difficulties in kids. You try everything in vain, and the day you start to consistently show them that you saw the good they did, and not so much the bad, there's a shift in behavior.
Acknowledgement of what you learn is priceless, with financial benefit.
What a great teacher you are! Not just because you teach but because you share in the celebration of the students actual learning! Jack Layton did the same for me at TMU 💜
“ delights of endless martyrdom “ LOVE THIS!!!❤️
Good job, Jordan. I consider this a "top up" of the teaching I received in the Psychology undergraduate course in the mid 80s at another Ontario university. Glad to learn more about Skinner.
I really appreciate you Mr. Peterson, thank you for your passion 🙏 and attention to detail.
I really appreciate Mr Peterson's suggestions of techniques we can test out for ourselves.
I find these reruns to be quite refreshing to see again
So insightful as usual. Man you have helped me . Thank you
MAN, lets talk about the timing of that commercial. WOW...
For real a gem.. And spot on as always.
*a man of revelations
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I'm so glad I've listened to you.
Thank you, Professor 🙌🙏.
Thank you dr. Peterson! This is an amazing video.
I love listening to you! Thank you. ❤❤❤
JP is the man. Fantastic segment. I was hoping this would be techniques on how to become a better listener, but rather it details the benefits of being s good listener.
Thank you Dr Peterson for this gem
I've usually felt as if I was being manipulated when people complimented me. It's always made me uncomfortable.
Ditto. I try to assume that most of the time people complimenting me are just trying to be respectful and polite.
This is wonderful, thank you.
Im so happy that the ability to listen before deciding is something that I have.
I believe that those people who would just simply listen to Dr. PETERSON lectures couldn't possibly see enough evidence to hate him, much less Vilify him in the way that he's been.
He is a perfectly place totem of positive change in our combined humanity, if only we'd take the time to listen.
Another great banger!! Love ya JP
This clip is absolutely great 👍
I think an important part if listening is actually understanding and asking more out if curiosity
Always loved that particular answer, glad they made it a clip.
So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?
@@Leprutz Right. So, in a relationship that should be reciprocal. It cannot be one sided, otherwise the relationship deteriorates over time. But, you don't want to be a complete pushover and say all the nice things you can. Like what he says about the ratio of positive to negative encounters. That literature has always stuck with me. So, it is important to not only acknowledge the good deeds, but also to stand up for yourself when you feel that the other person in the relationship isn't acknowledging your good deeds. And man, you'd better have your arguments straight before you try that. Because negative interactions hurt us a lot more than positive interactions, but both are important and necessary.
@@robertxaypanya8506 yeah I get that. I just wanted to make sure that I completely understood what he was saying. Good to k ow. Thank you very much for reassuring and explaining once again. 🤗
This guy opens my eyes every time I decide to watch one of his videos.
Its important to notice when other people are testing you for reciprocity and not to be blinded by the prejudicial assumption that you are the authority.
I don’t understand what you are trying to say. Could you care to elaborate !?
@@antoneverbright its a beef ting
you really didn't say much there
Thank you.
Thanks!
I'm listening
So nobody is even going to mention the gentlemen in the white suit half-kneeling in the isle like a statue the whole clip?
I think that’s the microphone guy
This was really good
Amazing as usual
So articulate.
True Jordan, at the ultimate if you can go as far as listening to silence effectively, you can talk to God.
This is very helpful, I’ll look out to use it
So basically what he is saying is the appreciation of others, right? Like apreciating the effort others do or when they say something. Acknowledging the good deeds. Right?
I think you're so interesting. I learnt so much about phylogeny. It's great to hear from you thanks. What bothing me at the moment is people not paying attention to thier inviroment. People walk across the road. They don't look. People on the pavement are not intressing about other people around them. Thier observed with their phone. Driver only looked one way before they drive away. People are not attention is lacking. They don't look about to see where they are in the world. They look about but seems lost. They don't use thier sence. Looking hearing that help our people move easily in the world. I was amazed about 4 years ago. I Was watching the traffic lights and a young lady how had earphone on was going to walk straight into the car and cross the road. I gently put my hand to her shoulders. She turned face to mine in anger. I turn my eyes to the road. She eyes followed mind. She saw the car. Her anger left her. I think she was a colleague student. The piont of tell you this is I should technology has replaced our sence and sence of the world. What do you think about that. I value your opinion.
I agree. People are tuned out. No communication going on. People leaving a train just sneak past one anorher rather than politely ask to get by.
Beyond superb.
Conservative emotion was something I needed to hear. 2:50 damn...so true....
Dude... That audience! No one is fat and they're all dressed well. No one's hair is blue.
It's like a 1950's throwback.
I think this clip might be from his appearance at Bucknell University (Lewisburg, PA) from earlier this year. If that gives any context.
YES.
Only problem with Jordan Peterson is that now I’m watching all his videos on repeat.
Guilty myself ! Wise + Patient ! 🎯
True Word Wizard , Powerful Rhetoric !
That's a good problem to have 😁
Agreed 🤝
I love this💞
I need to listen to learn more and effectively Ms Bethany Williams Jackson MS
Yes peterson wish i whare in your classroom
It is, but as a rule people can only consistently listen to one of two things: external psychology or internal psychology.
This is part of why listening is so difficult because you have to work on your back foot.
“Whenever you see a behavior you would like to be repeated…” _this_ should be in the next james clear book (author of atomic habits”
I agree.
i have been trained in a field that uses active listening in a completely supernatural way. I've noticed if you listen too well, some may become very uncomfortable because they "maybe" notice the attentiveness and feel that they need to give encores. lol. and then they keep talking. I love to engage people because it's easier than observing from afar. Plus, the information you get is priceless and people are more willing to be heard rather than be seen.
OH. the training was Massage Therapy. As a bonus i've also learned how to listen with my hands. Try that one on for size, JP. lol
Capacity for perception is not less than capacity for intellect in the pursuit of the truth.
Legend
Summary: Active listening is a powerful technique that enforces principle of reciprocity in any kind of relationship. One practical tip is to watch people around you and if they do anything that you would like to see repeated, complement them in such a way that you make them feel recognized. Tell them you noticed what they did, tell them exactly what did they did and how that is an excellent thing to do. When you do this multiple times this person will repeat this behavior and improve drastically, you can make them do what you expect them to do.
It's very difficult to be somewhat selfless and just listen without jumping in about oneself. It's a great practice for patients and to lose those selfish tendencies. This one thing has changed my LLC construction business a total 180°. Don't get me wrong I still am at work with this.
The audience looks like they’re holding their breath. And they’re all dressed so proper with collars and sweaters!
@Miguel Silva i thought it was interesting ok I’m easily entertained
@@Sam-bc9ll I remember hearing Jordan being interviewed somewhere and he commented that he also noticed that his audiences were intentionally dressing well. He himself has said that he specifically dresses well as a habit, because he feels it's respectful to others to present the best version of yourself. I noticed the audience right away and even paused the video to see if it was consistent with most of the people shown.
@@stefc1289 that’s honestly really nice
I've been told that I'm a quite good listener but when it comes to talking and being listened to I seem to be wired differently.
I remember people pointing out if I did things good or said something good like the rewarding behaviour he describes.
But it doesn't make me feel good, I feel more like embarrassed if I find myself in this kind of center of attention especially in a group setup and it makes me hesitate to do those things again.
Somehow I seem to prefer if they focus on the things I said or things I did instead of focusing on me.
i could just listen and listen to this guy.
Just Listening 👂 to a homeless person (who feels invisible) can be better than money!
Politics these days are too angry and “the left this” “the right that” and it’s a mess. If everyone, no matter where there are on the political spectrum, could simply acknowledge when they agree with other people, or when they like things people they disagree with say, like Jordan Peterson says, and they point that out, I think it would help us all come together.
Jordan Peterson for president! (Wouldn't that be amazing!)
Robert Greene also mentions this in his book,it’s called empathy
“You hear but you don’t listen. _hey, hey, hey,_ “ - Drizzy Drake
Have you seen my key's? Never mind my shift just ended. He is an amazing human. Thank you.
Wow so many introverts in one spot its beautiful
The best thing about you is dumbing down.... You just get every person
I used to work with animals and training dogs as well using positive reinforcement methods. My sister has a 9 month old child and its really similar im noticing to train a baby, and now finding out I can do this with adults too. Great.
There is a lot more overlap than many people are aware of.
I really struggle with this. I’ve only just realized that in a bad listener. A passive listener. I only listen to respond, not to actually listen. I’m 30 and only just found this out
My parents are similar so assume it’s came from them initially. Then just me being unaware
How do I go about changing this though? Even listening to this video l, I’ve taken a lot in but I’m thinking of other things
It’s something I want to get better at. People have told me I’m selfish for years and I’ve been denial, because I’ve always done things for people materialistically, but only this week I’ve started to understand my selfishness
Any help or advice is massively appreciated
We're listening, Sir Knight
Imagine what the divine aspect of Logos as Speech would be without the capacity to listen to it.
Can someone give an example for the last part
Full video??
Bro, that one white tile in the back isn't orange. Otherwise I love this lecture it actually led to me getting complimented shortly after.
My question is... who is the guy in white suite standing there like a Sailed Jack!?!
where was this filmed
That's a really difficult one if we're talking about political opponents. But at least for family members that I don't get along with perhaps I could find that useful. It's really easy to focus on the upsetting and irritating things that my family are doing, I just have been wanting to get away from them.
When does he talk about listening?
My goodness….. such a long response! Hahaha
❤
When it pertains to those who are transgender, Jordan is anything BUT a good listener.
Jordan Peterson has the paper to prove that he is a psychologist. He doesn’t have any respect whatsoever or want to listen to those who claim to be transgender, that he in turn states are either male, or female.
Rather than thinking of his self as being merely a psychologist, Jordan seems to think of his self as being a reputable scientist … a would-be top notch Prime Minister of Canada, a truth telling theologian, and who knows what else?
From the book … When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress … Author … Gabor Maté M.D.
Studies in psychology-an art trying desperately to dress itself up in pure science-often find only what the particular researchers have the eyes to see.
7:19 "if...if..if..."
man he looks so deviously villainous here even though he is saying a kind thing.
I'm almost 100 percent positive that Jordan's daughter Mikhaila is sitting in the front row. Neat easter egg
and his wife
@@BjornBjorn nice
... and his daughters boyfriend perhaps?
@@BjornBjorn this is too much, reality is breaking now
She was!
Listening is great but understanding is more importanr
Not to mention checking for understanding
The art of listening by zin xao
Is this a book?
The trick is to not shortchange yourself if you're a good listener.
Hello