I have a new Patreon! If you want a little snail membership badge, this is the last week to get one by signing up here: www.patreon.com/imautisticnowwhat If you want to learn more about the Patreon & Discord community, I have a video tour!: czcams.com/video/ClgG_9J9cTE/video.html If you missed last week's video (someone on Reddit threw away their partner's Squishmallows 😩): czcams.com/video/EdByHssKrgA/video.html I hope my responses to these three questions were at least a little bit helpful. If you have anything to add, please leave a comment below. Employment is a topic I plan to make lots of future videos about, so please feel free to leave requests. If you want to submit a problem, question, or dilemma for a future episode, please send it to advice@imautisticnowwhat.com (sorry, it hyperlinks weirdly here 😂) Remember that I’m not a medical professional and there will be topics too serious for me to tackle. Just take this advice from your neurodivergent friend. All of the resources I mentioned in the video in the description 💛
After reading a lot of these comments, I think maybe it could be a good idea to create a survey of autistic people to hear what jobs they've enjoyed, but also non autistic people to hear which jobs they didn't. I've heard a lot of neurotypical people complain their jobs are not social enough, too routine, and generally I haven't been able to relate to them because a lot of these "problems" sound like benefits to me.
I sent an email about something I have been desprately getting people to cover. The amount of ableism aimed at autistic people thats rampant in Newfoundland and Labrador is something that REALLY needs to be addressed. Like its FAR worse than literally anywhere else in North America that i can see, even our government was swindled into an ableist mindset at some point.
my own condition, or conditions, has destroyed my life so badly, but i also used it to accel in some ways, and literally to survive day to day. i am still struggling. and recovering. money is the biggest problem. otherwise i'd sign up for the highest tier. thank u for this all
The thing people don’t tell you is that most jobs are acquired through connections in some form or another. Someone with connections will frequently be chosen over the perfect resume, I’ve witnessed this first hand after attending a semester as a visiting student at a prestigious institution with a lot of money being poured into it. The thing is that autism basically severs our ability to make those important connections, pushing us to the fringes of society where we’ll never have a foot in the door to form them. I only got my job thanks to being acquaintances with someone who had been employed for a long time and was well respected.
This is true for more employers / contexts than I would've guessed. For instance, federal employment in the US has a very bureaucratic and superficially merit-based hiring system. On paper, it looks like it'd be hard to selectively hire people you already know and like. And yes, it can be hard. We still do it.
omg yes, a million times over, yes! I remember when I graduated college, top of my class. I was a broke international student working in kitchens (cause that's how I could "afford" food) and doing term projects for the rich and lazy students, so I could pay rent. I was so poor and isolated that I made zero friends through college. Upon graduation, all the colleagues with the right connections, whom I've been tutoring and doing projects for, found great jobs within a week of graduating. It took me YEARS... It was absolutely brutal. I had 3 consecutive years where I made a max of $15K/year. Nothing made me feel more worthless than seeing the laziest of the lazy, the most inept people I ever tutored, get fantastic jobs with a well-placed phone call...
Exactly. I'm 42, recently diagnosed, mother of an autistic child as well, have been focused on him for 12 years and have literally zero connections outside my home. I haven't even been given the opportunity to go to a job interview, no matter how many offers I apply to. My resume must be worth nothing, doesn't matter if I have a college degree or decades of experience as a video editor (working from home and for free, that is). I have zero friends and zero connections. I'm never getting another job 😞
My current job was via one of these connections too- my brother got me an internship at his company. I work from home doing coding for a website. Being a "nepotism" hire is in the back of my head every single day, even though most other employees told me I was the fastest progressing intern they ever had, that imposter syndrome is hard to shake
The standard "job" process feels like it was designed specifically to exclude and torture Autistic people. Dealing with hundreds of rejections. Interviews. Talking yourself up in a resume. Playing little bullshit games that are totally arbitrary (e.g. Answering the questions "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", "What is your biggest weakness?" etc.).
yes! I applied to hundreds of jobs and didn't get an interview. I was in employment and spent 2 years searching for another job because I knew it was bad for my health and ended up unemployed because the rejection and effort was too much. I felt like I was playing mind games to convince them i was good at things without accomodations
My dad’s autistic and once was unable to get a job because he unconsciously stimmed during an interview to relieve stress. Nothing too noteworthy, he just bounced his leg the entire time and occasionally tapped his fingers on the desk. He’s a trained psychologist. He was applying to work at an organization meant to help developmentally disabled people learn life skills. One of their services was a program to help people get employed. The hypocrisy of some people is astounding.
Sylvia Plath described sitting under an apple tree, where each apple represented a career path, and trying to decide which apple to take. She said she spent so much time deciding that all the apples went rotten and fell out of the tree. I feel like that. I'm pushing 50, and just today I told a relative that I don't know what I want to do when I grow uo.
Wow, same. Pushing 50, and I have barely an idea. I’m a massage therapist, so most of the time my clients are quiet for each session. I don’t have to talk or maintain eye contact, but I’m ready for something else.
@@taoist32 I hope you and I can both find it. I'm newly diagnosed, so I feel like that's a bit of a decoder ring to help me figure it out. But that decoder ring's just got one hell of a user's manual, and it takes time...
53 here and same. I feel as if life is over and I have no drive at all to start a new career. I do remember though my friends GF at 45yrs old ewent to school and started a new career when she graduated at 48yrs old and was very happy. That said, I am looking into a night security job and part time at that. The least amount of time spent dealing with others is what I am looking for and night security sounds kinda pleasing NGL.
Same, autism kept me out of college, military, and training. It's been 35 years of fast food, warehouse work, landscaping and retail. If I was born 10 years later, my apples wouldn't have been taken away.
I'm in my 40s now, but I remember telling my friend's grandfather in my mid 20s that I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grow up. He paused for a second, smiled, and said "You know, that's okay. I really don't either." Those words were and still are very comforting to me. I've had a hodge-podge of unrelated jobs over my lifetime, and because of that conversation, I feel like I don't need to feel guilty about it.
Same!! I found that where I belong is taking care of other autistic people. I found a summer camp where all participants have ASD. Everyone there is very aware of the challenges of ASD and they don't mind my traits. It's very tiring, but also very gratifying. It's the first job I found in which I liked what I was doing. My advice is just to try something new, even if it's not in a field you know well. You'll learn more things than if you stay in one field where you don't fit. That's what my therapist told me and she was right. I hope you can find something that fits you well.
I'm self diagnosed autistic and I just happened upon the field I am in now and I think it is very autistic friendly. In fact, I think it draws autistic people to it. I work in histology and it is a very routine, repetitive field. You work in a lab and have no patient contact and very little interactions with others. I do the same thing everyday and am able to listen to audio books and podcasts while I work and I get paid quite well. You do have to have good hand eye coordination though which I have from being a musician. It's a field not many know about, so I just wanted to let others know about it.
Similar to me & truck driving, i'm alone & i listen to podcasts all shift. Decent wage, keeping busy & doing the same thing everyday. I get to take paid naps when i like. Would never have thought about it as a kid, as i was an A* student
I also work in histology, and think its a great field for people on the spectrum. Although personally I have always been drawn to the gross examination aspect of pathology. I am in the process of completing my education to transition from histologist to PA so I can do gross examination full time.
I worked in histology and it was the worst job I ever had. I was treated like shit, was driven into autistic burnout and severe suicidality. Now I work in an office and everybody cares about my specific needs. So, it's not the type of work, it's very much about finding a specific workplace where you fit in with the people and where you are allowed to be yourself. I'm happy you found your spot!
@@anniestumpy9918 Completely agree. The previous lab I worked in definitely put me in a constant state of burn out towards the end. But the other labs I've worked in have been great. My current company is great and my supervisor is also self diagnosed autistic and she is very accommodating. She knows burnout all to well and doesn't want any of us to deal with it, autistic or not.
I didn't get a job until I was 25, and that was "nepotism" and skipping the interview stage. 🙃 Interviews are tough, and it's worst when the other person can sense something is "off" about you. I think the environment is becoming more friendly towards neurodivergent people, but we still have a ways to go for sure.
That I was able to move out of my folk’s house and get by freelancing had a lot to do with a friend of the family, who I now think was probably on the spectrum, getting me some fairly regular work at the company he worked for. It’s occurred to me in the last couple years that it may have been an intentional act of support on his part; he was always grateful to my folks for inviting him to Thanksgivings. So it may also have been “nepotism” of a sort, but I put it in quotes as you do. Within reason, I think relationships and support are okay. Society seems to have fallen into the notion that employment is supposed to be this solitary survival of the fittest, but everyone deserves a little help sometimes.
"when the other person can sense something is "off" about you" Yeah, apparently the whole body language / non-verbal communication / eye contact thing is a deal breaker for about 43% of employers, so autistic folks already have their chances of getting through an interview cut in half right there.
@@jeremiahtree-dweller7370 I have heard though, that being over-qualified deters employers from hiring you, as they are afraid you'll move on to greener pastures as soon as a job that fits your qualifications better comes up. (And as nobody will ever admit to using someone or something as a stepping stone....) Though neurodivergence definitely plays into it, too. I just found the over-qualification bit interesting when I learned about it. Depending on your field it might not make sense to go for a master's or doctorate as it actually decreases your employment chances (depending on what exactly you wanna do witth the degree of course). 🙄🤷♀
This one time at a job interview I told the interviewer about the Epic of Gilgamesh instead of telling her about myself. I am not good at interviews lol
oh my god same i just work at a convenience store for uh my own convenience and the reason im here is because i had the opportunity to join instantly without a resume, interview or issue i would cry if i had to take an interview, at least afterward
The worst comment I've gotten from an interview was when I applied at a vet clinic/puppy daycare and the lady told me I wasn't "bubbly enough" to be at the reception desk. Like...what?! Also the dogs in the play yard that were normally wary of people (even staff they already knew) LOVED me when I was doing the working interview part so... the dogs liking me was worth way more than a rude person liking me lmao
@@Mizuki-dx5cuWhy? Animal owners can be rather stressed out regarding their pet care. The frontman has to have decent social pickups. The pets don't care about performance.
@@Mikinaak2023 They just said they weren't "Bubbly Enough" not that they lacked any sort of social skills, people shouldn't be forced to have a certain personality for a damn job, if they are nice enough and know what they're doing they deserve the job, besides what does a cheerful personality even do in a receptionist job to even get you less stressed out? I have never seen someone who when stressed out WANTS a receptionist to cheerfully talk to them about whatever, they just want their little friend to be okay.
Makes sense tho if u think about it. A smiley, happy person would make a more superficially presentable image of a receptionist than a person who looks unhappy or monotone vocal delivery. Without knowing u as the hiring boss didnt, u could explain to the company that u would mask with customers to create a good experience for them. However while personality goes a long way, it shouldnt be all they judge u on... clerical, typing skills, phone manner and working with the team would be just as important. But if someone is bubbly and has all those things, they would defo be most likely to get job. Sorry for your experience, i agree with u but also trying to see it from their point of view. It also depends on what kind of receptionist it is for what company
I got my last job, because I had absolutely no expectations and just went to the job interview for fun. In the first 10 minutes, I mentioned that I am AuDHD and educated the people there about my neurodivergent needs. Then, I unmasked and began talking about my special interest (that has not much to do with the job), I was very motivated and authentic, so the job interviewers liked it. This experience was like a therapy session for me, I understood that being authentic is the key to success. Because I do not want to work somewhere where I cannot be myself. I make more and more experience, that I get positive feedback from people when I unmask.
Wow! That sounds like you got very, very lucky. I'd love to find a place that actually values difference instead of conformity. There's such a big disconnect between what I know I could provide to a company and their ability to see it
Yes, I always saw interviews like playing a role or a short game of cards, and while, I knew I’d play the game, I’d play it being myself. That worked for me. And like you, I’d have fun. I’d have fun because I knew if we didn’t click or I got the impression it was not a place I’d like to work, I was going to send them a rejection letter before they could send me one.
Yeah, this reason is exactly why I refuse to agree to just any work conditions. If I can't be somewhat authentic then the work place is going to make me fall apart sooner or later anyway
As an autistic person, I feel like it's not talked about enough that the job-searching process is extremely hard for us. It's hard to understand what should be on the resume or in a cover letter (which leads to proctrastination and last-minute sending of those files or overfixation, and always to stress); it's hard to understand how to get ready for the interview and what the questions there could actually mean (like if they are a test for something else); it's impossible to predict whether telling the HR that I have autism is a good or a bad idea; there is also the problem of fitting in and makng friends at the new work place, and many more other issues. Right now I'm working as a translator (the story of a special interest becoming one's profession), the pay is okay but not great. I know that although I might be interested in changing jobs for a better paid job in the same field, there is a heck of a ride ahead of me if I choose to do so.
Wait, did you not learn how to write resumes and cover letters, as well as common interviewing strategies in school?! I always knew I was privileged with my schooling, but this further cements my conviction that school does not teach enough relevant adulting things!
i found for resumes using ai like chatgpt really helps, you can ask it for help writing an resume and it will give you an outline. also you can ask “can you give me an example for *this part*” to get a better understanding. you can also ask how to phrase certain skills you have for a resume so that you can get the right phrasing and length down, personally i change and edit what it gives me but it’s a great assistance for something that normally stresses me out a lot
I work in fast food, possibly one of the least autistic friendly job. But I find that it's just about manageable bc my managers actually accommodate me (don't do customer service, allowed to wear noise cancelling earplugs/loops, etc.) even though I don't technically have a formal diagnosis (just an NHS letter saying I am eligible for further testing I just gotta wait 3 years :')) I'm very lucky to have a manager who is so understanding, they are out there (unfortunately not as common as they should be) Good luck to anyone trying to find work!
It’s funny how many people say how horrible the US system is, capitalism is the worst, etc. and socialism/communism is the right thing, it’s far better. Then I keep running into tales such as this, where people are forced to wait for years to get something they need, taken care of: that’s a lot of time to burn and destroy a life in the meantime, and depending on what is going on, may not merely be a major setback, but may ultimately be fatal!
@strictnonconformist7369 yes but, if people have no money to begin with how could they afford private healthcare anyway? The choice we have isn't "communism or free market", it's less-than-ideal-healthcare or absolutely nothing.
Yeah, being able to get into hyperfocus/flow-state at work is huge for me. I was able to do that at my last job. They really liked the results I produced, but, infuriatingly, they refused to provide accommodations to let me do that *consistently*. Like, I can only do that if I'm not constantly interrupted, and they refused to just let me work from home.
I had the exact same issue! I was so frustrated. I had to work in a hall with another colleague. It felt really exposed, there was lots of noise and my desk regularly got surrounded in boxes that needed to be sent out. I just really wanted to work in one of the offices which were quieter and more private.
I'm having this problem now my employer. I've gotten a talking to over drops in my productivity. We were able to see from reports this would happen on days with nonstop meetings and Teams conversations or days of coworkers calling off (not saying they can't just saying I can barely deal with myself and my own work load so covering for another is very challenging for me). So constant interruptions. They know I'm diagnosed ASD but still I'm having to defend myself. Even though I've already told them. It's like they think autism is something you can just turn off and on.
In my own experience, whenever I have been unemployed I have found it really helpful to volunteer somewhere. I have volunteered at libraries, museums, a Cats Protection charity shop, a castle, a historical house, archives, gardening etc. Even when I have some volunteering I might apply to another thing so I can get an idea of what sector I would like to work in. It helps me to feel like I am working hard too and gives me a nice break from job hunting. It also really helps with reducing gaps.
That's great! Really glad for you. I've been doing similarly since I turned 18. It was most difficult finding "the right job," but sometimes volunteer work can - in some cases - turn into paid work. My grandfather used to say Find something that makes you happy and passionate. Don't settle for low pay. You are more worth than that! ❤ 🌟
I do volunteer currently, and it is super flexible. I'm on the fundraising committee for a non profit counseling service. They meet via Zoom once a month or so usually. I just got informed that would be a better fit for me versus the front desk as a volunteer at their office. She didn't want to send me off, and felt my skills could be used somewhere else.
How do you pay rent and survive with only volunteer work? I'm trying to get employed and my doctor recommended volunteering but that won't pay my bills I don't know what to do
You can still have soft skills if you are autistic. You just need to mask, it depends where you are on the spectrum. However, those soft skills can become very exhausting for sure.
@@justing7202 "soft skills" = doesn't matter how good you are at the work, if you don't fit in we don't want you. only took 20 years in the workforce to realize being incompetent is fine( damn near encouraged in some cases) if you don't rock the boat
Literally just today had to argue my case with my step mum that I am infact autistic but she's as usual not having any of it. I was diagnosed at 17 I'm now 31. Dad's side still won't have any of it because I'm not a more obvious autistic person, I was diagnosed with "aspergers" and that side of my families ignorance of autism really shows and they just don't care to educate on it. If your not showing more "severe" or "obvious" signs on autism constantly to them then your just not autistic. It frustrates me and actually offends me so much. It sucks.
I'm sorry that's happening to you. My paternal family likewise won't acknowledge my experience. They never say it outright, but I think they believe I'm making it up to take advantage of social supports. It's awful when the people you should be able to rely on for support won't accept the reality that you need it from them. I hope there are other people in your life who accept and support you
I can relate somewhat. I have many of the problems of autism-including social ineptitude-but they were never so terribly severe that I knew I even had it until I was, like, twenty years old. So I was a _weirdo_ rather than a _person with a disability_ up till then. It also didn't help that my perception of “autism” during those formative years came almost entirely from memes. (Look up “when the autistic kid” and you'll see what I mean.)
This story reminds me of my mom calling my shortcomings "excuses". She doesn't even realize the amount of effort and emotional energy I expend just to talk to her. Especially when she's being disparaging. It's glaringly obvious she "just wants me to be normal". Which is something I can't provide. I left home at 17, broke contact at 21 and didn't talk to her again until I was 35. That's when I tried to reconnect, see if I'd gotten strong enough to resist her negativity / she had changed her perspective any. The first two months went great, but at the first incident where something I did bothered her, she spent the next 4 months talking down to me whilst I tried to steer the conversation to a workable solution to prevent it happening again. After 4 months I gave up on the whole reconciliation experiment and then she suddenly became agreeable. But I don't feel safe at all near her. Next time will be no different. 70 years old and she's still stuck in the same pattern. So my advise is: If people can't accept you for who you are, don't keep them in your life. They don't love you, they love their imaginary version of you. I have a couple of close friends and they feel more like family than she does. I would go through fire for them because they appreciate my strengths and tolerate my faults. They've stood by me and held me up when life was at its worst and they've trusted me when life was hard for them. That's love. And you won't find it with people who think they can place demands on the immutable parts of yourself. I wish you good luck and great friends.
Sounds like my family to a T!! 🤬 I’m obviously living with undiagnosed ADHD & possibly I would say autism as well but because I can talk & have an anxiety disorder they think I’m just not trying hard enough. 🫠 it’s such bullshit.
I'm 33 now and still struggling with employment. Though in a way, I have the opposite problem. I'm a wonderful employee and bosses (that care) love me. But at my own expense, I'm hyper vigilant to prove myself and over preform, I get burnt out and hit the wall. On top of that, I've been a constant target for bully bosses and the last two jobs I had drove me into the ground. I had a terribly sobering and depressed realization last year of, wow, I'm gonna struggle with this for the rest of my life. I truly felt defeated. Jobs that I enjoyed and was very good at, I had to accept I can't do these, for my own health. Luckily, for now, I'm in a job that seems far more my speed, but am struggling with the social office environment now. All this to say, it's been a taxing experience to say the least but I'm still trying to find my niche and figure it out. It's daunting.
Yes, it is daunting. One of the things that kept me going is I didn’t like getting beat, people or places getting the better of me. That didn’t mean I stuck at a job I thought was toxic, but it did mean that I found ways to cope with toxic people in those jobs.
Wow reading this was so.... validating. Thank you. I'm 35 have always excelled in my field of work but everytime I burn out develope crazy anxiety and have to resign. My employer is always shocked and does everything to try and keep me but I just can't do it anymore 😢. I'm only just realising now employment is not the answer and I need to find my own way
@@deaddog8507 Try not to let it get you down man! It's (hopefully) all about finding that niche that suits you. The job I'm in right now is something I never would've considered before, being too boring and mind numbing. So far, it's surprisingly perfect. So consider some other options you might've turned down before. Write out what seems to be stressors in the jobs you've left and maybe help narrow down the sort of avenue might suit you best. Try not to think of it as repeatedly failing, but shopping for the right role for you.
I work as an online tutor. Its quite a social role but due to a clear process for the talking i manage quite comfortably. Also being self employed is great for having boundaries with work.
@burensohnmusk4721Your name sounds german. ^^ If you do it in Germany, can you tell me more about how you do it? Like over schuelerhilfe or something?
I definitely find that my PDA profile makes it harder to find/keep a job. I really can't do it if I don't enjoy it - and the only jobs I've enjoyed so far, I've had to quit due to my physical disabilities. I'm in the US, and to get disability benefits you can't work at all...(it kills me that I have to depend on others right now while I'm waiting for benefits because I genuinely love being independent). The struggle is sooo real... (The fact that I'm also a moral anarchist and anti-capitalist makes it especially hard to "just get a job" especially if I find the work or company is immoral or corrupt in some way.)
Enforced poverty and isolation is terrific public policy! /s I LOATHE the US disability system. Why would you want to squander anyones capacity to make meaningful productive contributions to their communities? You’re able to work 10 hours a week but unable to work 40+, great! Wtf would anyone object to that? God forbid people with disabilities have any shot at happiness, dignity, or some spending money.
I am having such a hard time getting a job, not only because the job market SUCKS but also because being neurodivergent, my brain has strict parameters for what I can apply for, and every rejection feels personal and deeply affects my sense of self worth 😬 and trying to explain this to my family is like talking to a brick wall so this video was incredibly validating ❤️ Also, the pictures you used for burn out (the burnt toast) and held back (the dog on the leash) made my brain very happy! 😊
I literally fell into swim teaching by chance. I’d been illegally let go from a different job and was applying for anything and everything. It turned out, I had to be given my old job back but I’d interviewed at a swim school and they said that if I did my training course, they’d let me do my training hours there. So I did the Austswim course and did my hours. Then I got a shift on Friday mornings. After another two years, the other job let me go again and I got more shifts teaching kids to swim. That was nearly 12 years ago now. It’s the longest I’ve ever had a job for and I love it so much. Most places are crying out for swim teachers - Covid did a number on the industry. If you like water and kids, it’s perfect. Kids also don’t see our autism and I have quite a few kids who are neurodiverse.
We love our Austswim qualified teachers ❤❤ my boys absolutely adore their teachers and love learning to swim! Teaching a lifelong, potentially life saving skill would be so meaningful too!
I've been able to be consistently employed for my entire adulthood, but there is definitely a place where I hit a wall and either don't advance or don't stay on long past it. I realized this past week during some conflict with a superior that many neurotypical people can just put up with more bullshit than I can. Everyone's hated this woman for two decades but they mostly just grumble about it, but I'm at eight months and she's about to give me a breakdown.
My social at work battery is running out and its been depleting without a charge for years. I understand this. Tho I can handle bs if its not straight up bullying, but my struggle is not wanting to socialize, not wanting to do work I hate, and being bad at working outside of my pace.
I will say for the job one picking a field that makes you feel like your work matters is what made me (autistic adhd) go from being incredibly depressed and feeling worthless to now confident and having my job and skills as part of my identity. I take so much pride in telling people that I'm a welder, just the ability to look at a building and say "I built that" or to look at a car which used parts that I manufacture and could have been made by me. I feel valuable to society and to my family because I can also apply these skills for hobby crafts and such. A solid working class is the backbone of any civilization, and save for farmers I don't think there's any job more important than construction and infrastructure. I've always know I couldn't stand to live in cubical hell and spend all day in an office, and sure it's hard work both physically and it's just difficult to learn, it matters to me and it doesn't feel like I'm just pushing paper to make more money for my parent company to hoard while I do made up work for a made up business for made up numbers for made up money.
Haha your last few sentences resonate with me so hard. Good on you for finding your calling! That’s amazing and really inspiring! It’s so validating to see that other people struggle with the meaningless of corporate bs as intensely as I do. Plenty of people pay lip service to it but, like you and other AuDHD peeps I’ve encountered in autistic spaces online, it is soul-crushing to me in a way I seem unable to adequately communicate to neurotypical people. Being in those environments makes me extremely depressed and burnt out, and I inevitably find myself wishing for non-existence. I think plenty of people write me off as just being overly dramatic about it, but it kills me to deal with how pointless the made-up numbers, busy work, and games are.
I once too made welding a big part of my identity, until a couple of years into full-time work I burnt out from working in horrible conditions, for low pay, expected to work overtime and micro-managing. I haven't been able to get another job in 6 months despite my extensive training and the supposed demand for welders. There's definitely a lot of hyperbole out there lately with regards to the trades. I'm glad it's working out for you though!
@@daniburns6369 Funny enough I'm in a similar boat to you, after welding for a lil while longer I got some injuries, and I started doing more out of position welds. Welding overhead for like 4 hours straight is so awful. I thought learning overhead would increase my value but no. Just get thrown in a tiny trench for the same pay now with the fire going on top of me rather than in front of me. All the dust and slag rains down as well and it's so hot. I'm an arc welder so I mostly do stick and flux core welding with a bit of mig and tig on the side, mig welders get such the short end of the stick. Stick welding makes great money I won't lie, but it's hell on the body. That said I found entry into an electrical apprentice program, ideally it'll be better. Electricians make more then welders, have more stable employment, and most importantly it's clean. I've done some plumbing, some electrical, a lot of welding, and I can say I'd rather come home not covered in metal dust, or shit, or rust.
@@CelesProxy Happy for you! I hope electrical is a good fit. I'm thinking of going into EHS, since I seem to love pointing out unsafe and unhygienic working conditions lol. I'm not sure if the job itself would suit me with having so much peopling to do, but it's a very interesting and rewarding field
I can't find a job as an autistic person, because I barely leave the house or talk to anyone and struggle just to get from one day to the next. I can't even imagine trying to deal with a job interview let alone make a positive enough impression to get the job.
Im 44, and I will NEVER WORK AGAIN. I have been bullied/ignored so much in my previous jobs that it gave me CPTSD. The mere thought of getting a job makes me extremely uncomfortable, so I just stay in my house. I can barely afford to do this.
Pizza Delivery and Rural Mail Carrier were two of the jobs I've had where my autism really shined. Interactions with people were minimal, the better you performed, the more it was worth it, our eidetic memories about seemingly inconsequential details were an asset, and there were lots of friendly doggos. In the US, a Rural Mail Carrier is the one who drives mailbox to mailbox; City Carriers park the truck and walk because the boxes are not conveniently along the road. First thing at the post office you gather your categories of mail, sort them to your addresses (which is becoming easier thanks to automated sorting at the processing centers), load your truck, and go! Your route is rated at X hours. No matter how long it takes you, you're getting paid for at least that many hours. So if you get good enough, it's a light mail day, or everything goes perfectly and you finish it super early, you still get paid for the whole day. On the flip side, with the holidays coming up, you're going to be working longer because of the Christmas cards and packages, packages, packages, but you'll be making lots of overtime.
Pizza delivery isn't bad for an early job (high school or college), but probably a bit low paying later in life, plus it carries risks that many on the spectrum are not best equipped to deal with, namely, mugging. I was mugged twice in the space of a month, and at that point I decided that I'd done enough pizza delivery for a lifetime. If you're well built and well coordinated and know that you deal well with physical danger and physical confrontation, then try pizza delivery, if it meets your financial needs. Otherwise, avoid it. I imagine females also carry an elevated risk of sexual assault in such a job, so I think I'd recommend it for males only. Since rural mail carrier doesn't involve carrying cash and probably involves less rough and tumble areas than pizza delivery can expose you to, it's probably a better idea.
I'm 31 and don't know how to drive. Don't know if I ever will, so a delivery job won't work unfortunately. I feel like I could do it all day and actually have fun doing it.
Currently, I'm working a remote job and as someone who is autistic, has ADHD, PTSD, depression and anxiety it's really been a game changer! Especially, since the company I work for wants to be sure they can give me the necessary accommodations to thrive. I'm allowed to have slightly lower goals, more breaks and my schedule is very flexible in my department which helps a ton! I used to never think it was possible to have a job as I worked so many jobs (mostly retail/fast food) that would just ruin my mental health to a dangerous point. I remember counting down the hours I had to go back to work when my weekend came around. It was dreadful but with my new remote job I've learned that it wasn't that I couldn't work, it was just that those jobs didn't work well for me. If you ever feel hopeless please remember that there are places that want to help you succeed, you just have to keep trying to find them. I know how difficult it is and I really didn't believe I could ever have a job I was happy with but now I know I was wrong. Stay strong and remember to advocate for yourself as you are worth it! 💙
@@jimskeuh Hi there! So basically I process documents and send out forms all day from my desk at home which I actually really enjoy. I never thought I'd enjoy such tedious tasks but I really enjoy looking at patterns. Some might say that it's boring to just try to process documents but for me boring is kinda nice because it takes the pressure off. Speaking of which, being able to not have to worry about going into an office or talk to people on the phone has been incredible for my mental health. I really only talk to my coworkers and that's during short meeting, even then I don't have to talk much. I worked in many customer facing jobs and that just created a lot of burn out for me. Being able to sit at my desk or in bed at home has helped me quite a bit. Now I honestly don't feel I'd ever want to go back from remote! I've also been thinking about getting a job in IT as it's a good field for pattern recognition and problem solving. For now though I am very happy with my job and I think a big reason it works so well for me too as that I did advocate for myself and I explained to my employer what accomodations I might need such as a bit lower goals, a flexible work schedule, more breaks if needed. All of those little accomodations help in a big way to not feel pressure or burnout as quickly. What works for me may not work for everyone but if you have any other questions I'll do my best to answer! 💙
@@kendalltaylor2644 It's a government job where I work with taxes. Really I don't do much with numbers, I just process documents that give voluntary tax information. Working a government job I do feel like workers rights are taken a lot more seriously and accommodations have been easier to obtain. I don't want to say the exact company I work for as it could give away info on where I live but I hope I was able to help a bit 😄
@@woofexe4050 yes what company is it? my partner has ADHD, Treatment-resistant depression, bipolar, and CPTSD but isn't eligible for disability since he's never been able to work somewhere for more than 6 months, and has only had 2 jobs. What is this company so we can look into it as an option?
I am 36 and I've only had two jobs in my life. The first was a weekend temporary christmas retail job whilst I was still in school, I got that job because they needed lots of us to help out. The second was a part time retail job that my sister got me because she worked there already. I think if I had applied without that I wouldn't have got the job, because I am not good at interviews - like many other autistic people I don't make a good first impression. I worked in that part time retail job for 8 years until I had a breakdown (possibly burnout, retail requires so much masking even part time was mentally exhausting) and I couldn't leave my house any more. Now I don't work because my mental health is too bad. Also, whilst I was job hunting, I remember getting frustrated about not hearing back from any jobs I applied to. The man at the job centre told me that it's likely not personal. He said every job advertised gets so many applicants that sometimes just to narrow it down employers will put CVs in two piles, flip a coin, and bin one pile. Because they just don't have the time to read every single CV or application sent in. You could be getting filtered out by pure bad luck.
As this is about jobs, I thought I would mention that I'm a Virtual Assistant and some of my clients are through Wired Differently so if anyone is in the UK this might help. All WD clients are ND, if you apply for an access to work grant you can use the grant to pay for a VA like me or for equipment. Basically anything specifically to help neurodivergent people at work, whether you're self employed or employed.
@@imautisticnowwhatyou're welcome. For people that aren't diagnosed, you can still apply you just need to be able to explain what you need support with and why. 👍
For a sec, when you said "I'm a Virtual Assistant" and "pay for a VA like me or for equipment", I thought you were an automated chat bot (which is much more common in these days of the instructive LLMs like ChatGPT)
Ooh yes vPA changed my life and helped my Aspy partner too when I had her. I paid myself to help me cope with admin alongside work but planning to request through ATW as I start new role. If you're in work and struggling it can be worth the cost because you actually save money by eg being able to claim your expenses. Is there a way to find your website to contact you as I do really need the support again?! I know you didn't come here to advertise but I'd be happy to contact you.
I have tried several dozen jobs, was unemployed for years, failed five educations, have been a fulltime environmental activist and the co-founder of a democratic school. But it wasn't until after a burnout that I got a disability pension and decided to retrain as a mechanic and follow my longest passion: technology. It's only since I know I don't have to work to live that I'm able to focus and commit to a job. I work as a trainmechanic with the National Railways for three years now, and I have never kept a job before for longer than about a year and that wasn't even fulltime. If you have the possibility to retrain do it now, the economy is in our favour because there's an enormous shortage of skilled workers.
A problem that I deal with is eventually getting jobs, but settling for jobs that don't pay me appropriately for the amount of work that I do. I'm always under-earning and not even making a living wage because I'm forced to take jobs that don't pay enough after getting rejected by hundreds of higher paying jobs. Thank goodness I still live with my family, otherwise I'd have a job and still not make enough to have a roof over my head But then I don't know how to feel about the fact that I get rejected from SO MANY jobs (even after being told by interviewers that I'm "perfect" for the job), but once I DO finally get one, some people I work with tell me I'm the ideal coworker and don't want me to leave!🤨 If that's true, then why am I getting passed over so much...(although racism may be another factor in my case)
Same! I'm not autistic (at least haven't been diagnosed with it) but I've always taken fixed-term jobs or poorly paid jobs because I never get offered anything else. 🙃 Now I'm struggling to get any job at all and I don't understand why.
@@alice-elizabethNot being qualified is likely the reason...it's not rocket science to figure that out; can't get jobs if you don't have appropriate experience, even if it's not necessarily related to the job.
I have been told I interview well. To counter some of your interview stress I recommend keeping these things in mind: Places hire underquallified people all the time. I guarantee you they are already paying someone who is worse at their job than you would be Places don't like having unfilled positions. The interviewer isn't your enemy. They're hoping you're the right person as much as you are. If you don't get the job you're no worse off than you were before. You didn't have the job. You still don't have the job. Nothing has changed. Don't bother being your authentic self fully. If you mask well, go ahead and use it. These people don't care to know you as a person. So be honest about your job skills, but if the conversation turns to local restaurants (this happened to me) just roll with it. That's the time to just skate by on pleasantries and nonsense. I don't expect this to absolutely kill your anxiety. And the prep stress is real. But it always has given me an anchor to hold onto in interview situations
There's another issue about how long it takes to find a job. It may be "normal" for it to take seven months, but each attempt is a massive energy expenditure and masking project. The exhaustion factor is more than likely to bring everything to a crashing halt before finding that job.
Neurotypicals usually only take between 1 to 3 months to find a new job, and they almost always already have a job while they're applying...they don't just quit and THEN look for one, they keep working until they get the new job. So no, 7 months is not normal... If you're trying to talk about white collar work, it's literally the minority of jobs in the world, and it's super privileged to act like you're suffering major hardships when the average person could never even get a white collar job. Being super picky means you have a support system, so you should be thankful for it
Talking to my college about jobs and university has been a mostly negative experience so far except for one teacher who's been the first person to show understanding of how hard it can be being newly diagnosed autistic and trying to find out what I actually need/struggle with and the almost 80% of non-working autistic people Nobody else seems to have any clue that my symptoms are genuine struggles and not temporary worries that most people stop feeling after it's all resolved. I will always struggle with certain things and so I have to take that into consideration, I'm not 'worried about what a job will be like' or 'worried about university', I'm genuinely concerned that I will not function in the environments I've always said I aspired to/seen my future self working in, and I'm even wondering now if I ever really wanted to be a teacher or if it was just the most 'me'-sounding job I could think of when I was younger so I'd have a sure answer to what I wanted to do To me it's so blaringly obvious that I'm not just putting my future off or scrapping my plans to go to university (more like what everyone assumed my plan was from the beginning because I'm academically smart) on a whim, but I am yet to find anyone else in my life that ever recognised that I need to change things in my life to accommodate for myself and me knowing I'm autistic now is causing long-term concerns, not just a temporary irrational ones like everyone thought I used to have
Re: teaching, you can try substitute teaching first which will let you try different age groups and also let you sub for special needs kids (SPED). At least in the states (US), you can normaly sub for anything from kindergarten (5-6yo) to 8th grade (13-14yo) without a bachelors; they tend to require just a high school (secondary education) diploma or GED (an alternative to a HS diploma for those who drop out, have family/work obligations, want to get through their work faster, etc) However, the requirements vary a lot from school district to school district (even within the same state), so you should check with your local requirements
"I'm genuinely concerned that I will not function in the environments I've always said I aspired to/seen my future self working in, and I'm even wondering now if I ever really wanted to be a teacher or if it was just the most 'me'-sounding job I could think of when I was younger so I'd have a sure answer to what I wanted to do" this is me. I'm now aiming for my PhD instead of teaching high school because turns out the intense dread I felt at 16 when I was forced to think about employment was in fact prophetic. even though I'm now hurtling towards burn-out after (checks notes) almost ten fucking years of university, I'd still rather do that than experience what I went through during my mandatory internship where I "worked" (hardly, compared to any other teacher there) at a school. I only got through that internship through pure force of anxiety, self-discipline and routine, and I already did unrealistically little thanks to nobody expecting much of anything from an intern. in hindsight, that experience might have accelerated my rate of burnout because despite getting through it, the reality of proper employment (as opposed to working 40 hours a month at McDonald's like I have since starting uni) traumatized me so much that I realized that the life plans I made at 16 were pie in the sky. I'm genuinely not cut out for working and I've known it my whole life, even though I did all I could to convince myself that it would be fine.
She's in a very privileged position, as she said. Most of us need money, or we can't survive. I remember being jobless & on benefits for 2 months. I got £160 benefits a month. My rent was £500 at the time, then bills. Apart from that time, i've been employed since 14yo. There are a ton of jobs out there where they will hire ANYONE & you can just about scrap a living out of them, maybe. Talking about your supermarkets & your fast food places. Factory work & such, they are not fun jobs, that's why they are easy to get. I remember being in a really rubbish job, but it was during the 2008 financial crash. I applied for over 100 jobs a day, countrywide. I would usually get about 3 replies a week & that would translate into about 3 interviews a month. Those interviews would be ones where they lie about the wages, or the jobs & the job would end up being worse than the one i was currently in. In the end, i skilled up & became a truck driver, another job where they are always looking for people. My timeline of jobs.. a paperboy, chip boy (fish & chip shop) Burger king worker, burger king team leader, burger king manager (this is where i left school), whsmiths manager, flavour sample technician, hotel receptionist, hotel manager (got into a crazy amount of debt & life fell apart), supermarket nightworker, then truck driver. At gone 30yo, truck driver was the first job which was a liveable wage & i didn't crash headlong into meltdown & depression. Life can be tough If she can hold off half a year or so & find the right job, where they care about her degree. It can be a very demoralising journey, but it'll be worth it in the end, i'm sure!
£160 a month 😭 That's insane!! Support work is sadly another who are always desperate for people. Thank you for sharing your work history. Truck driving sounds pretty autism-friendly! I imagine it's tiring though.
@@imautisticnowwhat Yes i said somewhere else, but truck driving. You are alone, doing repetitive work. Listening to special interest podcasts or books. You can take naps when you like (paid) & it's a very liveable wage. I would never have thought about doing this as an A* student (that dropped out)
Truck driving in Australia sent me over the edge. I can't handle people in traffic. I get too aggressive. Literally sent me over it, I'm now incredibly hostile
@@bibsp3556 Sorry to hear that. I drive at night, so it's very quiet most of the time. I do hit a little morning traffic. But it's usually not for long in the built up areas. So it's manageable. I work for a supermarket chain. So most of the stores are pretty easy to get to
Left my neurotypical job in 2002 at age 32 to become a self employed artist. Joined the UK's biggest art publisher in 2005 and I've painted for them ever since. I sit in my garden studio 14 hours a day all year long. I have minimal contact with the outside world which is perfect and despite that I have managed to become one of the UK's top sellers. Just lucky I guess but I find hyper focus and perfectionism are a huge driving force in anything I do that's art related.
I can relate when you say people can end up making cups of tea for people. In the 80s I finished a Humanities degree. Started volunteering at Citizens Advice. Found the coordination of accessing information from shelves, putting it back, reading documents in group settings then talking about the information was near impossible. I left and ended up making drinks, scones and toast for old people at Age UK.
I'm sorry that happened to you. This is why I have no regrets about quitting uni. Its great to feel that sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, but the crippling debt and time wasted isn't worth it when you could just as easily autodidact and learn about your field of passions at home/online.
You're not alone. It was a struggle for me to get my first job; in high school I was constantly told that I needed job experience in order to get the job. I did volunteer work since 8th grade with a youth group, but that never seemed to count for anything in their eyes. My first job was a community service work study through my college where my school paid me $8 an hour to volunteer at the local children's museum. I would even help out there over the summer when my college wouldn't pay me because I've always wanted to help people. My college ended up convincing me to enroll in the 5-year program where I would get my bachelors degree in Fine Arts and a Masters in art education, assuring me that it would help me get a job after graduation. Long story short, it was a big old lie. Nobody wanted to hire me because my degrees meant that I had a bigger salary price tag that came with none of the teaching experience. Job interview after job interview turned me down (and I hate the very process of it in the first place--so very stressful and overwhelming). I understand exactly what you mean about feeling like an impostor and like you're lying. My cooperating teacher was part of the interviewing process for a teaching job in her district, and she told me after the fact that I should have pumped myself up more, selling myself. It's incredibly hard to do, especially when people have called you a weirdo your whole life, convinced you were stupid because you were so quiet, excluded you/didn't recognize you even existed, on top of your family constantly acting like you're a burden/you're just being ridiculous and insisting you just get over it and try harder. (Then there's also the fact that I've been undiagnosed my whole life, and it's only this year that I've started to piece things together through intensive research). Advice from the education field was to "work your way up the system" by just getting your foot in the door with a district, so that's what I tried to do next. I ended up getting a before/after care program job that was part time and barely paid anything. I was happy to work with the kids, but the leadership totally took advantage of me. I basically became responsible for everything because only one person would come in early, and he would only set up his one table and nothing else. I was running myself ragged, trying to take care of everything else, and the lead at the school hated me. I never knew what I did because I tried so hard and even ended up doing some of her job because she was never there on time. She would exclude me from hangouts after work (I would hear people talking about it amongst themselves the whole shift but people would never invite me or even mention it to me). When I tried reaching out to the head of the entire program about it, I was told that it was all in my head, enduring extreme gas lighting, and they then forced me into counseling because I was "imagining" it. They lied about so many things and always made me out to be the bad guy, the one in the wrong. I tried to go the teacher's assistant route in another school district, but the same thing basically played out. I was taken advantage of, used like a disposable tool, and then tossed aside. One of the principals told me in passing that they wouldn't need me the following year "because of my degree." I got shoved to other schools in the district, only to basically be told the same thing. I thought I finally had found a place to be accepted at the preschool, as my co-teacher adored me and because the principal wanted to put me in charge of the after care program. I thought I had finally found my place, but then the principal ripped the rug out from me yet again. During a zoom call she told me that I didn't deserve any of the money I was making and pushed hard to make me resign to "keep good relations with the district." With the pandemic, though, both the teacher's assistant job and the original before/after care position at the other district were eliminated to "cut costs." It's been a struggle ever since. I always felt like I was a problem and not good enough with how jobs have treated me. I've tried to find new ones since the pandemic debacle, trying out cat cafe positions, a part-time child care position at the Y, etc. Each time it blows up in my face with people taking advantage of me (i.e. the cat cafe telling me that I would need to volunteer first for a month before getting hired--then after spending all that time volunteering, they told me I would be hired only to back out last minute and tell me that they wouldn't). I've been trying to keep myself afloat, but it's super hard. I've been doing babysitting/tutoring and pet sitting gigs in the mean time, but it's not nearly enough. I've been looking into online work/passive income because I just can't seem to succeed with traditional employment. My parents just keep pressuring to "get a real job." I literally would if I could, but most places ghost me during the interview process or shoot me down. I'm just so sick and tired of it. I'm burnt out by it all, and I don't know what to do about it to actually be able to succeed in this world. It's always felt like the world was against me (school was a living hell), but I did everything I was "supposed" to do--everything that they told me was needed to succeed and get a job. My best apparently is never good enough.
I am 55, and my career journey started by working at McDonald’s at age 15. I was terrified of working the cash register at first, but found that because the interaction is completely scripted, “what can I get for you today?” etc., it allowed me to talk to hundreds of total strangers a day, and get used to looking into people’s faces, practicing eye contact, practicing facial expressions, watching and learning from neurotypical people, and it’s all low-stakes. The worst that can happen is they think you’re a little odd, but they’ll forget all about you within a minute or two. I know it doesn’t pay much, but it was a major part of pulling me out of my shell and helping me feel more comfortable interacting. I worked every station, completed every SOC, and became employee of the month twice in row- all faster than anyone at that location ever had. The tasks are all so focused, and they actually appreciate it when you do things perfectly and perfectly time things. Perfectly placing pickles, perfectly aligning an egg McMuffin. I know it probably sounds really lame, but I really really enjoyed my first real job. Another job I did that drew on my autistic superpowers was designing and creating window displays for department stores. I was really good it and was recommended to others because of it. People would walk by and come into the store just to find out who did their window display, and be amazed at how creative or eye-catching it was. Today, I have degrees in Cognitive Science, Educational Technology, and Learning Design. I have been self-employed almost my entire adult career (being a consultant makes everything easier socially), and these days I help companies create effective training programs and analyze the effectiveness and impact of learning experiences. As a hobby, I do research and am working on a new model of acoustic reasoning in orb weaver spiders for my cognition studies, and I’m developing a new type of dipole antenna resonator that uses ions instead of electrons to pick up ELF at frequencies that are currently invisible to us. There are jobs out there that can help you develop skills you’re not naturally good at, like social interaction, and there are jobs where extreme focus and having a different kind of mind actually help, rather than hinder you. Hang in there, much love. ❤️
I've had sorta the opposite experience working retail...Yes, it has helped me become less afraid of speaking to strangers in a menial way, but it also depletes my social energy to the point that I basically don't want to interact with any of my friends or family, ever.
Talking of having a script and talking to lots of people every day, I found I was very good at doing market research telephone interviews (I don't know if that's still a thing). The script is on the screen. After about a week, I had the second highest rate of completed interviews, out of dozens of interviewers. I'm thinking my autistic qualities probably had something to do with that success, but I'm not sure which qualities. I absolutely loathed that job though; I'd go to the bathroom every hour on the hour just to get a few moments' break. I wonder if someone else might enjoy it though, if it's still a thing.
I was diagnosed "aspergers syndrome" 26 years ago (I'd be given level 1 ASD today). Burnout tends to build up over the course of a year or two before continued employment becomes untenable for me, but luckily I live somewhere I can get financial support for my disability so I have the option to hunker down for recovery when I need it. I've always found jobs through personal connections, never gotten an offer for a traditional application. Ask your friends & family if they know of anywhere that's hiring. But please listen to your body when it comes to burnout and try to identify supports you might be able to receive if you get a diagnosis. At 30, I can't understate how not-worth-it it's been for me to force myself to work through burnout for the sake of being accepted by people who don't understand autism. You can't please everyone; make sure you don't ignore your own well-being trying to meet an externally imposed standard. If you have the option, consider pursuing non-conventional means of income, do odd jobs, walk dogs, nurture your hobbies and interests and see if you can build a following for your writing without making money at it to start.
Im 25 (officially diagnosed with level 1 ASD 2 years ago). I'm not sure if I'm in a stage of burnout or if i've just always been burnt out so consistently in my life that it feels like a default state, but I'm able to hold down long-term jobs. The problem is those jobs are soul-draining, retail-type jobs I have no passion for. I do good at my job, even tasks I hate doing I try to do them as best as I can because "Well im doing it now so I might as well do it right". I have tons of hobbies that I could potentially turn into some sort of income, the problem is between my part time job and online schooling, I don't really have much time for those hobbies (im also ADHD, so time management/time blindness is a big issue for me 😅) and I've gotten little to no real help from the vocational program I got into besides revamping my resume. I'm terrified my whole life will just be working at jobs that eat up my time and make me miserable until im too old to enjoy my life and its too late. Currently going to school for Video game Art and development (potentially dual majoring in Game programming and development, as i enjoy both aspects and its less common for people to be able to do both), which is something im passionate about and hope I will continue to be in a career of it. My special interest is Paleontology, though. The reason I haven't tried to pursue that is that its a highly competitive field and theres not a lot of job opportunities. Plus, I could technically be a paleoartist all on my own as a freelancer. But again, the whole lack of time for hobbies thing.
I had a calling when I was young. I loved chemistry, I obsessed about it all my life. I got a degree in chemical engineering. I had research positions in college and made it my entire universe, I put my whole being into it. Not a single company would hire me. Years passed, nothing. Now I just write software while being incredibly underpaid. I wish I didn't exist.
Surely there's a shortage of chemistry graduates now - so many schools have no Chemistry teachers or labs and a lot of universities have closed their Chemistry departments.
Yes, I was in the death care profession but was cast out in every single job I had. I mean relentlessly bullied and assaulted then fired. Humans are cruel.
I really struggle with the whole employment world, always have, so it's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks for this videos,. they're super helpful ❤
44 year old late diagnosed ADHD and late self-diagnosed Autistic. I’m currently unemployed, it was my 3rd job so far this year. I don’t have a degree in anything and because of this I feel forever cursed to work in retail, the easiest jobs to land but always leaving me so burnt out. Every time I find myself back on the job hunting wagon all of my self-doubt and insecurities intensify. I hate job interviews, they are draining due to struggling to wear a mask I unknowingly dropped during quarantine. I hate having to pretend all over again. I’m so exhausted at this point. So much so that I find myself thinking about not existing far more often than in the past. I just want a job where I don’t need to interact with people, where I can quietly do my job without interruptions. Haven’t had any luck yet. So I fear I will end up in retail yet again. 😔
You say that getting a job in retail is easy to land but I find in my case it isn't as I have been trying to get a retail job since I was 20, I am now 44 and I have NEVER had a payed job.
A lot of public-facing jobs these days require you to do lengthy personality tests where it's clear they want a neurotypical extravert. And they'll even have time limits on them to prevent you from overthinking and giving them the answers you think they want to hear. I have never gotten a job after one of those personality tests, and I would advise autistic people to just steer clear. Way too much anxiety involved for what is almost certainly going to be a rejection.
I love the childhood videos you put in! You were an ADORABLE toddler! :) I guess the fact that I learn an enormous amount about my own (very recent) diagnosis is a plus, too. ;) Thank you for all your work, you are an important source of inspiration, healing, and learning for me.
I love the idea of a portfolio for this person. It gives an “out” for using all the fussy language to try and sell oneself and instead gives an example of capabilities, which can do the talking for you. I’m not necessarily in agreement about doing work specific to the job applied for for free. I know this happens in the wild world of freelancing, but if you’re applying to a company they have a budget to pay for this work and there’s nothing stopping them from using your ideas without hiring you. Additionally, some places have laws in place saying it’s legal to pay people with disabilities less. Where I am, for instance, the minimum wage for disabled is about a TENTH of what it is for non-disabled. That should be criminal imho, which is why we need more dialog and people/charities standing up for the community. Know your worth, don’t let employers exploit you 💜💜💜
In an interview I just want to say, “this is pointless most people lie, I don’t know how to tell you those lies because I can’t read your reactions to know what you want, just give me the job, the probation period will let you know if I can do the job or not, also who cares if I ‘fit your vibe’ what’s important is I can do the job and I will learn to do it better, also I need to work from home because the thought of leaving my house 5 days a week to be around other humans make me want to jump of a cliff” …. Yeah…
Hello! I'm a late diagnosed autistic, I just got a job and I'm soon gonna start work. I got a job at a local grocery store. One thing that really helped me find a job was I went to a local employment office and chose the disability friendly one. They helped me so much! It made things feel a lot less overwhelming! I didn't have to worry as much about making calls and they were just super nice and so understanding of my disability. Honestly I know if I tried on my own again, it would have been a nightmare! So I hope this helps some people 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
My first "big girl job" aka full time was for a library when I was 29 (I'm 37 now). I applied for that specific job every time there was a posting and interviewed for it probably 6 times before I actually got it. I know I am TERRIBLE at interviews, so I always try to prepare as much as I can and write out responses that I can reference (which is a lot easier when the interview is virtual and I can just put the info to the side but off camera). I've also contacted the interviewer beforehand asking if I could get the questions ahead of time, because again, I know I'm terrible at interviews and the unexpectedness is what really throws me off. I fell into my current role by accident when the pandemic hit. I got reassigned from the library to a different department in the county temporarily and I ended up staying there when the position became permenant both because I work from home and because it was in a field more relevant to my Master's degree. Working from home has changed my life in so many ways. I actually have a lot of vacation time saved up because I'm not having to use up every hour of PTO when I get it because I would need to recover from overstimulation and my mental health is a lot better.
@@alexandranorris1763 Yes do try it next time! It's more common than you'd think, so it's not looked at as weird if you ask. I try to mention that I would appreciate having the questions ahead of time so I can present my best self with less anxiety.
wow, ok, hi! So that first one was me! This came at a great time honestly. Life has been real complicated recently, and its nice to hear that i'm not alone. Firstly, I have a diagnosis now! literally got it last week, and i'm very happy to finally have 3 years of questioning and self diagnosis be validated. (i'm very lucky i was able to get into the wait list for PsychiatryUK NHS referrals before they closed it, and while it took me aaaages to fill out the form i was supposed to fill out (executive dysfunction, forgetting it existed alongside finishing my studies and moving home etc. etc.) i finally had my assessment last wednesday, and was diagnosed. Weirdly, I wish i could go back to university (I don't actually want to, just wish i could be back in that time again), because i think i just happen to work better in that type of enviromnment (perhaps not thrive, but it certainly seems to be better for me). This is the first time since i was a tiny child that i've *not* been in any kind of education, and the lack of stability and routine is one of the things that has really thrown me off and caused me to slip into burn out. The uncertainty of life at this stage has really thrown me through a loop, and its really difficult to get myself back into the swing of things. At this stage, I think i may have found a job? It's currently at a weird ambiguous point where i've done a few trial shifts but i don't know if i'm getting paid yet. It's a job working at a livery yard (which connects to a previous special interest of mine - horses). However, I got back from another trial shift yesterday, feeling completely out of my depth and questioning if this was the right choice or not. Everyone there seems very nice, and I do like being around horses again, but I found myself feeling flustered and completely inexperienced. Then my brain spirals into a panic of "oh god this was the wrong decision but now i feel like its too late to turn back and aaaaaaaaa". I want to quit, but i don't, and i don't really know how to talk to anyone about it. My mother of course is very excited at the possibility of me finally having a job, so much so she's willing to drive me there and back while i'm still learning (again, another thing on my plate i have to think about. Luckily for me I kinda enjoy driving, but its still hard work on the brain.), and I know if i try and turn around and say i don't want to do it anymore she'll be disappointed, but maybe if anything it would hammer down the message that I really can't just go about life like anyone else would. I don't know. I keep swinging back and forth from "i'll learn, it'll be fine in the end" to "this is all a mistake and i need to quit" and it is very exhausting. I think i struggle with being the only newbie around who doesn't really know anything, whenever i get things wrong theres that RSD corner of my brain that tells me i'm an idiot for getting something wrong and should quit on the spot. I guess i'm just not really sure if this is really the right place for me, but i don't want to start working there and quit so soon after because the people pleaser in me doesn't want to disappoint anyone. Possibly the worst part of all this is that I just don't write anymore. I find it difficult to motivate myself to write, and i'm sure this is a symptom of the burnout but it has me questioning if i wasted the last three years of university (where i studied creative writing) and now i'll never be able to write again. I can't even keep writing projects going on the side to use as a portfolio or possibly to be published in the future because i can't bring myself to write anything. I can't bring myself to do anything at all really. i haven't even really been doing much other job searching, I think partly because I just find the whole thing overwhelming. Theres so many jobs out there but the thought of going into it is intimidating. I think maybe part of the reason i'm questioning myself about working at the stables is just the intimidation of "omg i actually have to do this job now and i'm being paid to do it" and for some reason that freaks my brain out (maybe a PDA thing?). Anyway, forgive my rambles, This is just a fresh wound at the moment lol. Funnily enough i did start a blog a while ago about my journey with discovering i'm autistic and such. I haven't updated it in a long time (writers block/burnout), and I kept getting a lot of spam messages on there, but i'll link it here incase anyone happens to be interested in my ramblings from years ago. www.journeytoneurodiversity.com/ If you've even read this far, thank you for engaging in my venting as i struggle through a very complicated period of my life. With any luck, I'll get out of this slump soon, cause i must say it really sucks to be in it.
I'm so excited for you that you think you have a job! Once it's finalized, do something to celebrate, because that is a huge accomplishment. I do want to make sure to comment this - everyone I've ever known has felt wildly out of depth when they start their job, especially for the first couple of weeks or months. This includes my parents, one of whom was laid off and felt that way about his next job, and one who retired from full time and is currently working on a new type of career part time. It is normal to have a ton of questions and not know what is going on. You will get there! But at the same time, if you see very bad red flags, I would not feel guilty for backing out. My first job was a nightmare, and I knew it was a mistake day one. It was an insurance job, so I want to caveat that is almost definitely not the situation you'll be in 😊. They had a training program to learn the job and I made the mistake of asking what would happen if we did not pass the training phase, and they didn't hesitate to tell us we would be fired. Cue months of anxiety, and a complete distrust in my safety at the job anytime I asked questions, even after I was over a year in and clearly not being fired. My boss reached a point where he was telling me it was okay to make mistakes every time we had a progress review, but I couldn't believe him or trust him no matter how many times they told me. They also had work demands that no human being should be under at an insurance job and I finally had a panic attack that took me to the hospital and I decided to start job hunting. And I felt equally out of depth at my current job when I started, but the big thing is my team was so very helpful and have a culture of helping each other and working together, and even when the work is hard my team makes it easier. So I wouldn't necessarily panic if you feel very lost. It's completely normal. I really hope this all resolves or at least settles down for you. You're doing incredible!! P.s. congrats on your diagnosis! 🎉
@@rebeccacrow9427 Thanks for the reassurement! I do think i'm just getting in my own head a bit, but i guess its a bit different when you're working with animals. I don't want to put myself or the horses in danger by doing things wrong, yknow? I think i just need to confide in the manager a bit and ask for a bit more help, she's very lovely so i'm sure she'll be sympathetic, it's just all a lot for my poor brain who's never had to deal with all this before 😅😅
I so relate to your description of how it feels to be new at a job. I think it's wise to give it some time, because being new is stressful for everyone. Having worked as a crew manager for a maintenance company, I can tell you that every new hire is worried in their own way. If you feel comfortable confiding in the manager, I think that's a great idea. I know it feels stressful and uncomfortable now, but still, congrats on finding a job! I really hope it works out for you. But, that being said, please listen to your body if you start seeing signs of burnout worsening. What you said about writing I relate to deeply. When I get burnt out I lose all ability to pursue my creative hobbies and start to feel mentally sluggish and like I'm shutting down anytime I'm not in a stressful situation just to recover what little energy I can. I went off work about four months ago due to burnout and I'm still trying to stabilize. Just as insurance for the worst case scenario, it could be worth considering what supports you can access where you live now that you have a diagnosis. Financial support for disability has literally saved my life and it allows me to seek respite from extreme burnout. You deserve to have a life with space for the things you love doing. You have my solidarity, in any case. I have been through similar experiences and by the sounds of it you're doing great.
As rebeccacrow said, it's common to feel a bit out of your depth when you're just starting out. It's entirely possible that your doubts might have an element of imposter syndrome as well. It might be worth discussing it with whichever of your more experienced colleagues you feel most comfortable with - even if you don't know them as much as family, that should be someone who's hoping you succeed, but who isn't as invested as your mother is. Likely they've gone through something similar themselves and can give you some advice, and if practical they might be willing to mentor you a bit until you can settle in. Ultimately, though, if you are passing the trial (it's been a few days, how are you feeling about it now?), you're probably doing well enough. Regarding the overwhelming feeling, I do wonder if the "it's easier to get the job you want if you already have a job, any job" piece of wisdom is another case of neurotypical people assuming that what works for them works for everyone. My experience is that if I'm doing a job that I hate or which is otherwise stressful, I just don't have the energy to do other stressful things... like jobhunting.
@@Draxynnic Things are a little bit weird at the moment still. I haven't heard back from them so i have no idea if/when i'll be working there again, but to be honest it gives me a sense of relief to know i don't have to go back yet, so maybe thats a sign that it's not for me, i'm not sure. I have looked at some other jobs, i need to finish writing cover letters and apply to them, but it just takes so much brain power and clearly my brain percieves it as a huge demand and therefore avoids it at all costs. Executive functioning is certainly not helping me here lol. I think theres just a lot of demands in job hunting, and especially when i have other people pushing those demands on me more (my mother, and now also a careers counsellor as well), it sorta has the opposite effect that they want it to have, and i further just want to sit here and do nothing. To be honest, i've been right in the throws of burnout all week, but I think i'm better now? Who knows, i might be back at rock bottom in a few days. Life is so uncertain at this point i just have no clue what's around the corner.
Nobody seems willing to give me an autistic trans girl a chance with a job 😢 I have sent out hundreds of job applications online. I really relate to this person who wrote to you
Eyy same here, I've done over 200 job applications online, 7 interviews and nothing. Never had this much a problem when I was male-presenting. But I guess I was also 18 and didn't have a 5 year gap in employment .-.
Omg as someone who identifies as a transgender woman but still presents as male this is part of the struggle to to come out publicly. It scares me that my authentic self will be just one more reason to not get the job or make it that much harder. As a ND person life and jobs are hard enough without adding a big pink flag that points out from across the room that im different than everyone else. So for now i just feel its better if i dont transition and just keep presenting male to make others more comfortable with me and not make my life anymore difficult than it already is. Hell I've been masking for 36 years whats the rest of my life gonna hurt? 😅😢
@@BRADDG42O that's the problem I have, I wanna transition more than anything but I know without a job I basically can't pay for it. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place 🥲
I think the whole job application process is built on the assumption that you're neurotypical, and that's why job hunting is really hard if you're neurodivergent.
I feel like it's hard for everyone. A lot of ppl are neuro-divergent from trauma these days in the US and our work world has been down hill. It's about impossible to get an interview on apps like indeed.
Growing up I went through every single autistic and ADHD struggle as someone who didn't even know I had it. I started a special education program around elementary school at a real early age and remember being tested for disability with multiple tests over many years but now that I'm older I realize all those tests were flawed and the adults giving them were miseducated by older generations that didn't understand enough about these disabilities creating many stigmas and stereotypes that they had to go off from. Because of this I was never understood, labeled as Otherwise Health Impaired and was considered a bad child to both my teachers and parents who were quite often rude. This lead to me graduating at twenty years old after getting held back in fourth and eleventh grade and to not get my diploma which I was promised to get by the superintendent if I met criteria which I met. Now I'm twenty five and my dad wants me to run his extremely hard business so bad he's refusing to help me out with getting a house, job, car, license, saving money, etc. My stepmom has always been a mean selfish alcoholic and now my dad is abusing opioids due to having fibromyalgia. I'm to ditsy to due things on my own without help but no one believes I'm autistic and ADHD and I believe I'm just as autistic as you because I relate to your behaviors and experiences you've talked about in all your videos. Sadly I have an unsupportive family with an "I don't know what to tell you" attitude so I will most likely either never get diagnosed or it will be to late. No license, no car, no job, no friends, no money, no talent, never had a true relationship nor first kiss, don't like hugs and kisses but want them, don't know how to talk to others or what to say so they think I'm ignoring them or not interested. It really is a dark evil struggle having such a disability especially in 2023 and sorry if some of this made no sense and sorry it was long.
It's not your fault bud. I hate to say it but with parents like yours you'd be better off with no parents at all. They sound like the extremely ignorant, self-absorbed, uneducated people.
I wish i could tell you it gets better but that would be a lie. Its ok to give up sometime. Take your time to enjoy the small part of life you can enjoy, seek therapy and if you cant, its ok to forget with the help of drugs because your parents dont deserve you.
My job hunt (after my Master’s) took 7 months, approximately 40 applications and 10-ish interviews. The world really needs universal food, housing, education and health care, like the treatment afforded Buddhist monks in 1960s Kung Fu movies.
One real tip (if you're in the UK) is to get hold of Access to Work funding. You can use it for pretty much anything that will help you in work - a support worker, specialist equipment etc. I'm super lucky to have found a workplace that is a bit more accepting of neurodivergence, but I've even used my money to fund training for key staff to help them learn more.
Regarding finding work (working for another person) - I think I need to hold my boss in high regard otherwise my pathological command aversion thing is always going to get the better of the situation (sometimes really, really quickly). Once I find myself thinking "You're a cretin. What am I doing letting you boss me?" it's game over. I've worked in so many different places and some of them have been majority low level racism or consisted of colleagues who were vicious and status driven (not collaborative at all). I've never understood the concept of respect. I know admiration. I know loyalty. I know protectiveness. People used to say to me, "You should respect your elders." Why? It's totally arbitrary. I have to like the person who I let tell me what to do. Because 'respect' is meaningless, to me, the whole authority dynamic is broken. The world of work was not made with us in mind. The whole thing of climbing on the remains of competitors - not for me. And I don't play the games. I don't know how to look overjoyed at the suggestion that if I do well I might be able to get gym or fast food vouchers. Whoopee! To me - when a superior tries to induce me to give more (I'll be already giving everything I've got, anyway) with vouchers or sweeteners - I just think about how else I'm being bamboozled. Commercial entities, though, by nature are always trying to squeeze just a little more out than they deserve. There's nothing of that ideal of fairness in it. No. I want one single point of interaction and I want to be (need to be) in awe of that person. Then I will be their muse. I'm not awestruck by individuals/companies that are merely trying to accrue wealth. Oh, "scorn" is another concept I understand. Has anybody here found a brilliant employment agency for autistic people? I suspect that there are a lot of private agencies, that portray themselves as fantastic at finding perfect placements, that get government funding so their mission is to just throw us at what we are trying to escape from. Keep throwing us back until we are either extinct, broken, or have fallen through the cracks out of sight and out of mind. Another pet peeve is when I am extolled for wanting to help people, and I'm being trained up to be able to do that, but then 'cross selling' rears its ugly head. "It was nowhere in the job description, we know, but when you can get a customer to upgrade to a more expensive option - there'll be a reward for you." And, when I go to read the other comments, I'm really hoping for a story by somebody who had the same issues as me but found a job so rewarding and perfect in every way (and are willing to explain what that job gives them, psychologically, that they didn't even realise they needed). Jobs that make people feel secure and valued. Jobs that challenge, just enough but not so much that they force shut downs, and hold the attention. Jobs where we don't need to wear an excruciating mask. Jobs where we're not going to be messed around with by narcissists. Jobs where we won't get caught up in office politics or power struggles. I've had jobs I really liked. One, in particular, may or may not make sense. I was a croupier, for a few months, when I was about twenty one. Now, I think that's an excellent job for an autistic person ('card counting', as it is termed, is something I was dangerously good at (in training - we got to take turns being either dealer or punter)). Until the bosses' mistress, who is the youngest pit boss ever, decides she has to trip you up at every opportunity. It was way too easy for my superiors (not the customers - we were trained to mostly block their drama out) to interfere with my concentration and this one particular pit boss did not have my back like she was supposed to. So I left. She did it too many times. Apart from the intense concentration, the constant arithmetic calculations, the injunction to be like an automaton (right up my street) - I'm not sure why being a croupier would appeal to an autistic person. It was something I could let my precision and consistency loose on. Being basically commanded to ignore every part of the customer's behavior that wasn't relevant to my task - that was good, too. Of course, you can't ignore your pit boss because their job is to watch out for you getting tired or starting to struggle so the croupier has to have them on a kind of auditory hotline. I liked the camaraderie with the other croupiers, too. They were all interesting people.
I'm an informally diagnosed autistic and I'm 31 years old and still live with my parents. This video honestly really hits home for me. I'm so scared I'll never be independent. I'm trying so hard, and even when making getting a job a priority and spending all my energy on it that I'm not spending on school, it took me until this year to get my temporary part time job back that I lost at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. And even this job is exhausting and I don't know if I'll ever be able to work full time in any job ever. :( I told my boss that if we got offered full time, I'd take it and make it work because I need the money. But also I'm so scared that's a ticket straight to burnout. And my options are either stagnate in this part-time position and let my time on my contract run out and probably disappear into the ether or try to move ahead and burn out doing it. Both are equally terrifying to me and result in ultimately not having a job and not being able to make it in my field it seems like. @.@
It takes me so long to find work, like months when I'm out of work. I was even in an autistic employment program but I still sent out hundreds of emails before finding ANOTHER shitty min wage job that drains me. I opened up a cleaning business. Had my first big mistake that cost me money and my health for a few days, and it absolutely ruined my self confidence again.
I have certifications for a variety of jobs... But I wind up waiting tables, a TERRIBLE job for me, but it's what I know. I'm in a rut, I'm 39, I don't know what to do. Edit: I actually miss COVID desperately. Isolating and more money via pandemic unemployment than I'd ever seen in my life? Can't I go back to then?
I am a diagnosed autistic who is surprisingly a children's nurse, but I really love my job. Younger children are often quite direct and don't have those social rules ingrained into them too much and also when you are in a very vulnerable position children and young people need the truth and have those difficult conversations that neurotypicals try not to avoid. I do get quite tired from my job though, but I am in a very fortunate position that I stumbled upon the place I work currently as a student and are (for the most part) quite accepting of neurodivergence as we work with many diagnosed and undiagnosed neurodivergent children/young people. The Royal college of nursing are making guidelines to help neurodivergent people within the workforce as one of my lectures say WE NEED THEM, as we understand so many different ways of communication than just verbally, so the conversation around neurodivergence is definitely starting to change in the workplace and healthcare❤
Im a single mother living in a rural area and I find I align with aspergers syndrome and maybe some adhd. I find it to be an absolute struggle to find employment that can empathize with my basic needs. I feel like I won't be able to get proper accommodations until i get diagnosed as disabled, which is total bullshit.
Not autistic, but have ADHD. The struggle of the interview is REAL. I never know what to do or what to say, always end up sounding awkward and weird. The one job I managed to land, it was because I was able to record my answers ahead of time rather than speak my mind live and in-person. I've had almost 20 years of work experience at this point in my life, and yet I can't ever seem to sell my skills or knowledge to people. I have a degree in IT but don't have a job in that field, and I doubt I ever will. Not only because of my gender, but because of my inability to put on a fake professional face when I'm in front of another human being. You're not alone out there, writer.
So. I’m 37. Only diagnosed this year. I’ve got a nursing bachelors and history bachelors degree and now I’ve finally found my place and my people. I’ve gone into forensic science and I’m about halfway through my bachelor’s degree. Took a lot of time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I even did a masters in documentary filmmaking. But then spent the pandemic taking PCR tests and volunteering as a vaccinator. Which made me think of doing something that involved science. I love watching forensic science tv programmes so thought of making that my life. And I’m glad I did because life has never felt so right. I fell in with a bunch of other neurodivergent people who all understand each other. So, don’t be worried about doing a lot of trial and error. I was worried having AuDHD would make me a bad fit for forensics but it turned out that my personal tutor is also ND, apparently it’s actually an asset as we think in slightly different ways and we notice things and “think outside the box”. I also get a carer to come in twice a day to help with the household stuff. I want people to have faith in themselves and don’t be so hard on themselves. There is a reason you were put on this planet. I believe things happen when they are supposed to. Keep your heads up and be proud of yourself for achieving what you have done. Meg, you’re a beautiful asset to the world. You’ve changed my life for the better. 🫶🏻
I’ve been on disability for more than ten years. I cannot tolerate the chaotic environments of many jobs especially entry level jobs. I dissociate in those environments, feeling spacey and like I’m floating and not quite in my body. I don’t know that it’s due to my autism. When I tried to get help, a long time ago when I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism, I was told by a psychiatrist that I couldn’t be dissociative because I didn’t have enough of what they considered to be trauma, so they told me that they thought I was developing schizophrenia. At the time I hadn’t met anyone who was doing well with schizophrenia so I panicked. It didn’t help that they actually said, “We’re waiting to see if you get worse.” Well I never developed schizophrenia but they didn’t have any other answers for me. They suggested mindfulness but I just couldn’t do that in such fast paced chaotic environments. I wasn’t able to keep working. I got on disability pretty easily at least though. I went back to school and had a work study job preparing books for publication at the university press but that ended when I graduated. Vocational rehab helped me find what I call a “unicorn job” where I could work independently on a computer at my own pace. However it was a graveyard shift job with no opportunity to switch to day shift, and that schedule was detrimental to my mental health as a not-yet- diagnosed bipolar. So it didn’t last. I’ve been on disability since then. I volunteered in peer support at a psychiatric hospital for six years and got certified but I was turned down for a paid position there because I have been out of the workforce for so long. I didn’t even get an interview. And they say to volunteer to get experience and use that experience to cover gaps in your resume but it didn’t help. I tried applying for other peer support positions but never heard back from any of them. At this point I’m discouraged that I’ll ever work again and it probably isn’t in my best interest anyway since I’m able to get by on disability. Autism isn’t what I got on disability for. I’m guessing it was because it had in my chart that I was developing schizophrenia. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until eight years ago when I was 36. So my age at this point would be another barrier to employment.
I can relate. It is particularly frustrating that services will gladly use disabled people to do unpaid work but will employ others to do the same or near same role on a paid basis.
The amount of emotional outburst because I was over stimulated , the way I allowed myself to be easy manipulated by others , I would work circles because I would take commands from everyone including my peers . I just wanted to work and I ended up working my job and 3 others and by the time I had the courage to speak up people were used to me doing it so I was now the issue . I’m looking into accounting or something more quieter if you guys think it’s a good thing let me know
I love watching Meg’s videos because they make me feel seen. I also love the literal stock videos that are placed throughout the video (an example being when she said “burnt out” it showed burnt toast).
The fact that we nd people tend to be very honest and not huge fans of embellishing stories can be a huge downfall for the job hunt I think. Like the person in the email: playing down the job they did / giving a realistic impression where other people would embellish it to sound like relevant job experience
The RSD is very crippling when job hunting. I tell myself that I'm prepared to be rejected, even if I think the interview went good, but every single time I get that rejection e-mail this intense dread just fills my entire body that stays for days. Panic attacks included. I just get so frustrated about not being able to speak for myself properly, to show them the good criticisms I've had during my work life, how even though I'm masking with full force I've been told that I'm a super nice person to talk to and get help from. Just because bosses only want references from other bosses, I'm stuck with only having my worst sides shown to new jobs. Every single boss I've had has given me verbal warnings during my employment just bc I did something incorrect when not being told properly how to do it. At those times I didn't have my diagnosis evaluated yet so I had nothing to defend myself with other than my own words, but it's extremely scary as an autistic person to be called out like that when all you've tried to do is just do your job properly. Unfortunately I've gotten PTSD from my previous worklife, which makes job hunting even harder when doing it on my own. I've tried to reach out to constitutions that helps unemployed people get a foot in, but just because I'm currently studying they can't do shit. I've never had a part time job in combination with studies before and I have no idea how to get one either... Everything just feels extremely unfair and I don't know how we're just expected to deal with shit like this
Oh my gosh "I got PTSD from my previous work"....yeah no, you're literally invalidating REAL PTSD from such a statement. Tell me, could you say such a thing with a straight face in front of a veteran soldier? Or a victim of abuse? An orphan? Etc.
I’m 22, recently diagnosed with autism, and starting to feel consistently burnt out at work. I know something needs to change, but I’m so afraid that I’ll end up somewhere worse because so far I’ve had bad luck with work environments. I’ve had seven different jobs in the span of three years. They all start out exciting and supportive- the problems begin once I have a handle on the job. I usually get bored and stressed because it’s not “new” anymore, end up overworking for other employees and have more and more responsibility put on me, then realize my requests are ignored, I’m underpaid, tired, and afraid of retaliation. The first couple times I made mistakes long enough that they decided to let me go, but once I fixed that, the overburdening began. I struggle a lot with setting boundaries, and at some point, a coworker or supervisor notices and makes my life hell. I start to wonder why I’m held to such high standards, and rebuffed for behavior like “not clocking in 30 minutes early” (I found out later this might have been illegal?), “using my whole lunch break,” “switching my one (partial) day off to a different day,” “needing the hospital for addiction” (illegally fired but there was a loophole), “making mistakes because someone else actively interfered with my work,” etc. I usually keep next to open availability, speak kindly/professionally to everyone, arrive early, clock in on time, and rarely call in sick. I’m often praised for exceptionally hard work. And so far the thanks I get is being pushed harder than I can stand and being ignored when it all gets too much. And now I’m supposed to successfully find a not-hell job? I hope I can; I find it exhausting and scary. At least I’m used to my current hell.
Im older than you, and I feel the same way. Good work gets punished with more work. Bad work gets punished with job loss. A new job could be better, OR much worse. Its hard, and its not fair. I hope you find something that allows you to thrive ❤
Thank you for making this video. I don't have autism but another disability and have been job hunting for almost three years. Reading the comments I realize Iam not alone in this. It's like the job market isn't designed for disabled people and if you don't fit in the societal mold of "normal" you shouldn't even bother applying. At last count I was at over 1000 applications. Thank you for sharing this video and being real about the struggles of trying to find decent employment.
I am good friends with a NYT best selling author. I asked her for help in the process of writing and she says she always has a plan and knows what she wants the ending to be and writes an outline for the book before she even starts writing. She says that it's normal to go off track, or have the characters seem to have minds of tjejr own and do what they want, so she can just let that happen and then edit later if it doesn't fit in or work at all. The idea that most people have about writers sitting down and putting pen to paper and out comes a book after they have furiously scribbled for 8 hours a day for weeks or months, that is a fantasy probably created by some author who wanted everyone to think he was some kind of god-level genius so that no one would try to outdo him and everyone would fawn.
I dropped out before getting my associates degree (which in the US is halfway between graduating high school and finishing a four-year degree at university), and that filled me with so much self loathing. Associates degrees for most people are, like, this minor part of getting a degree that they don't even think about before it arrives in the mail, and for me it's this thing that I aspire to get one day. I'll get it, though, one day
I completely understand! I left a Master degree and I have always been so frustrated about it. I had taken a leave of absence and wanted to return part-time, because I was working full-time too. The university said my reasoning wasn't good enough so I left. I had already been burning myself out (effectively studying full-time) beforehand trying to prepare to return. I want to go back eventually, but next time I am going to do it all part-time. I have realised I can't cope with a full-time course, I struggle to do 2 essays a term as I fixate on one and don't give enough time for the other.
Thank you so much for bringing up the point about companies being overly vague about what they want! I feel like I'm supposed to be a mind reader. I've been to three job interviews recently where they were so unclear and I only found out 2-3 interviews in that the job I was applying for was completely different from what was advertised.
The job hunt sucks worse for autistic people. I’m almost 50 and can count on both hands the number of interviews I’ve had. I’ve been through numerous books, tips, professional employment “help” places, etc., and they’re still that rare. At Every job I’ve managed to get, I always get tons of extremely positive feedback from employers and customers. Just can’t get enough people to give me the chance.
We are also dealing with a epidemic of narcissistic abuse as children abused an neglected by numb and bitter parents. I would be proud if you were my daughter.
NVLD not Autism but: I feel like I'm super bad at ALL of the skills for basic entry level jobs like waiting tables or fast food or whatever, but I'm really good at super specific things, but it's hard find entry level jobs for those things. And then on top of that, my disability prevented me from driving for a long time, and I live in a rural area with no public transportation and driving is a requirement for life. So now that I can drive, it's like... I just feel like people see that I have no experience, and since I'm in my 20s, they think it's because there's something wrong with me that makes people not want to work with me or something, when it's really mostly because I just couldn't get a licence until I was 21. Also ALL of my experience and skills are in one specific area so it's hard to apply for stuff outside of that because I just have nothing. I hope that changes once I finish my degree... but it's a degree I can't do anything with until I get a master's. Which I want to do! But I need to get a job in the meantime 😅 I am just bad at everything outside of my interest area and I'm currently volunteering and getting experience but it's, well, in my interest area. I wish I were extroverted and social and good at people-ing and good in fast-paced environments and could just take any random job for experience. Also don't get me started on how everyone is "desperately hiring" but unless you have a PhD and 18 years experience they just ghost you.
Oh man! So much good stuff in this video! I can confirm that finding a job at a non profit that you care deeply about is incredibly fulfilling. I had been volunteering at my nonprofit for over two years when a job opening came up, I applied, and I got it. Now I've been working there for four years. The fact that I already knew people there and they knew me made the interview much less stressful than it otherwise could have been. And they had already seen what I could do. I'm very happy with my job, and even when I'm exhausted at the end of the day, I'm still eager to go back the next day. It is good to feel that I am making a difference in people's lives. (Before this, I mostly worked jobs that really anybody could get. I was a Starbucks barista for many years.)
As a self diagnosed Autistic fae with multiple other disorders; Interviews are scary. Just the idea of talking with someone i don't know one on one makes me want to shrivel up and die. It makes me feel like they are watching me trying to find the traits of my neurodivergence; and it's scary and anxiety inducing to try and hide yourself and just hope they don't noticed anything. I wish anyone autistic or not the best of luck in interviews - Evan (The host)
I’m a daycare/preschool teacher, the kids are a handful sometimes but I can manage them easily and the routine daily schedules are great but with different project and activities on a regular basis to keep the adhd side of my brain occupied without having too much change to upset me. The hard part is working with other teachers on a regular basis and their attitudes toward me and how they can get stressed and then get snippy and disrespectful, it can be a lot to deal with. Right now I’m forced to be a floater despite basically begging the office to put me in a permanent room so I would be with the same kids and same teachers who I know I could work with regularly but they keep saying there’s no openings so I have to float to cover in all the rooms with other teachers that everyone else has complained about and doesn’t want to work with. They’ve basically made me the work bully babysitter instead of teacher, which is why I’m changing to a different childcare center soon, I debated leaving the field but idk what else I would be able to do and enjoy and I love working with children.
Idk man. I wouldn't advise to do free labor for a company before they hire you. I straight up don't apply if they ask for something and they won't pay me those hours.
47 never had a meaningful job with a future. life is hell. poverty creates mental illness. there was time in my life where I could have been great for a job. now im just trauma wrapped in trauma.
I’m not diagnosed with autism, however, I have a lot of the same challenges as someone who does. This is a good point. I think people with autism have trouble finding a job because they have trouble when it comes to body language, in addition to having very little to no connections in life. it’s good to have skills and other qualifications for whatever job you’re considering however, I have truly noticed from my experience and others that having connections in life have a significant influence on if you could land the job of your dreams.
I had to be self-employed and even that was hard. Fortunately, I live in a state that is not as controlling as other states here in the USA, so I could try my various income ideas without a lot of government hassles. I did have a few temporary jobs during slow times but they always seemed like I was serving a prison sentence and couldn't wait till the day I could leave for good.
I'm 31 now, and i had put off getting a job for as long ad possible. I was 24(i think) when i got my first job. Currently i'm feeling burnt out from being on someone else's schedule for the last 5 years at the same job. It's so bad that i just never want to get out of bed unless i know that i don't have obligations to other people that day. I'm now searching to change jobs and i feel so sick about it. Like i'm failing and i know that i'm doing what's best for me. I also feel like i can't talk with anyone i see in my daily life about it. It sucks..
I'm 49 years old. I hold an Master of Business Administration degree and graduated at the top of my class with a 3.9 GPA (in the US). Every job I have had since I started working at the age of 15 has been traumatic and ended with me quitting in severe burnout, unable to do anything for months afterwards. I applied for disability three times and was denied. Finally I developed ME/CFS, which seems to be fairly common among autistic people (from anecdotal evidence). I am totally bedridden, and I finally qualify for disability.
@@debutchi read the research. That's how you prove it. If you haven't read anything about it, how can you say there's no proof? Groundbreaking research released 9/23 indicates that it's a mitochondrial disorder.
@@debutchi and how do you prove autism? With a blood test? ME/CFS has biological markers. It's just no one can comprehend the idea that medical science has progressed in the last 30 years, and that nothing new has been discovered. Personally, I find that idea intellectually embarrassing. With the amount of gaslighting adult autistic people get from healthcare professionals, I am shocked to see something like this here. www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/index.html You can use the diagnostic criteria, proposed by the Institute of Medicine if reading research isn't up your alley. The information is out there. I'm curious, off the top of your head, how do you prove something like Parkinson's? Isn't it more a collection of symptoms than a real disease?
I am 41 and have never had a job. At 38 I was diagnosed with ASD. At 40 I finally got a bachelor degree in Archival Science. That took me a lot longer than it does for others. Because what does those degrees depend on? Thesis writing. It worked, finally, in archival science about two years later than my original classmates, when I was combined with a supervisor that actually got autism, and could give me advices that directly lead to me finally getting a stamp of completion on that class. The other part of my program contained another subject, which I am currently having problems with. Probably not going to finish that class, or program, since I got my degree by combining archival science with a lot of random other subjects I have studied at university level. My problems were that I simply didn't get what they (teachers and supervisors) meant when criticizing my texts. Especially in a particular subject (that I still haven't completed) - they said a lot of words, and I tried writing the thesis the way the way they told me to. Apparently it wasn't the way they wanted me to write it, though. Neurotypical people suck at saying what they actually mean. Anyhow, it's not easy. If you are lucky, you get the right help from the right kind of person. I have a degree (after much pain and frustration), but that hasn't helped thus far with me getting a job. Could I get a job in another area? Maybe, but then I would get a mental breakdown in six months or less. Going to keep trying, though.
Also, I have been unemployed for most of my life. In my country, they tend to put those of us that are unemployed for a long time through several different "helpful" programs. I have gone through so many of those that I've lost count by now. Also helped me to completely lose faith in the unemployment place, but anyway. One of those programs though, really did a thorough investigation of the persons in their program. What was I interested in and such, what my strengths and weaknesses were, and then looked for...don't know what to call it in English...a place or two where I could try out that work for a week or two. Kind of like internship, but not quite. One of those places was an archive. Now, I didn't end up being places there, but something about it simply clicked with me. That's why I ended up studying archival science at all. Also ended up at that place for the internship part of my education. Clicked even more then. Really clicked with the people there. Wish they had the finances to actually employ anyone.
Most people don't get a job aligned with their degree. Add autism, and it's rather bleek. Your money and time are probably better spent outside of school.
I've always seen employment as babysitting for neurotypical people. Fortunately I've tended to live in places where I could scavenge quite a lot and get by living well for minimial money. But that's a job in and of itself.
I really needed this video, I have autism and struggle with a slew mental health issues. I want to work and I can not only work but thrive if given the right opportunity and accomodations. I'm not trying to be lazy or ask for more than I deserve, I'm requesting needed services to aid in my success and happiness. I hope there are more opportunities and help available to those like me, thanks for the video! 💙
I'm not even autistic but I can still relate to so much of what everyone shared half a year ago I got fored from a pretty prestigious workplace after wasting 3 months trying to get in, only to get fired after a week it took me MONTHS to recover, and find the courage to find another work, that is a lot easier and simpler and I can handle, it was so hard for me to get over the shame I had but really I had to find what is it that I can actually handle away from society standards and family pressure....Idk if this means anything for anyone but yeah
So, I used to feel like a total schlub because I couldn't get a job, and I started watching content like A Life After Layoff... and I realized that it takes a lot of finesse to write a resume correctly, and a lot of interviews to land something. This is normal. Best of luck!
I’m autistic and I got a job where I wade into chaos and apply the prescribed rules to the situation, and the chaos and personal difficulty doesn’t affect me; my goal is find the particular facts needed to decide which rules to apply. The wake-up call came later when I had similar personal difficulties and realized I wasn’t any different than the people in the chaotic situations
Currently stuck in a crummy retail job, but it finally occurred to me recently that I shouldn't be basing my self-worth and sense of success on my career, because I'm not happy in the American job market. So I'm using the job I have now to fund a travel trailer, which'll be followed by me buying a patch of land, and building for myself a life that won't require me to work nearly as hard - if even at all. These systems aren't meant for people like me, and I'm at peace with that now.
I had never gotten a job through an interview. The only reason I ever had employment was cause they needed warm bodies with qualifications. My mother tells me not to worry about it, but she was always the one (and my older sister) who would tell me what I did wrong whenever we would attend any social gatherings.
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I hope my responses to these three questions were at least a little bit helpful. If you have anything to add, please leave a comment below. Employment is a topic I plan to make lots of future videos about, so please feel free to leave requests.
If you want to submit a problem, question, or dilemma for a future episode, please send it to advice@imautisticnowwhat.com (sorry, it hyperlinks weirdly here 😂)
Remember that I’m not a medical professional and there will be topics too serious for me to tackle. Just take this advice from your neurodivergent friend. All of the resources I mentioned in the video in the description 💛
After reading a lot of these comments, I think maybe it could be a good idea to create a survey of autistic people to hear what jobs they've enjoyed, but also non autistic people to hear which jobs they didn't. I've heard a lot of neurotypical people complain their jobs are not social enough, too routine, and generally I haven't been able to relate to them because a lot of these "problems" sound like benefits to me.
I sent an email about something I have been desprately getting people to cover. The amount of ableism aimed at autistic people thats rampant in Newfoundland and Labrador is something that REALLY needs to be addressed. Like its FAR worse than literally anywhere else in North America that i can see, even our government was swindled into an ableist mindset at some point.
Unrelated but I really like your earrings :)
Could you do Cajun Koi Academy brain type test ?
my own condition, or conditions, has destroyed my life so badly, but i also used it to accel in some ways, and literally to survive day to day. i am still struggling. and recovering. money is the biggest problem. otherwise i'd sign up for the highest tier. thank u for this all
The thing people don’t tell you is that most jobs are acquired through connections in some form or another. Someone with connections will frequently be chosen over the perfect resume, I’ve witnessed this first hand after attending a semester as a visiting student at a prestigious institution with a lot of money being poured into it. The thing is that autism basically severs our ability to make those important connections, pushing us to the fringes of society where we’ll never have a foot in the door to form them. I only got my job thanks to being acquaintances with someone who had been employed for a long time and was well respected.
This is true for more employers / contexts than I would've guessed. For instance, federal employment in the US has a very bureaucratic and superficially merit-based hiring system. On paper, it looks like it'd be hard to selectively hire people you already know and like. And yes, it can be hard. We still do it.
Exactly. I got my first full time job with benefits at 39 years old. It took me that long to actually make a useful connection.
omg yes, a million times over, yes! I remember when I graduated college, top of my class. I was a broke international student working in kitchens (cause that's how I could "afford" food) and doing term projects for the rich and lazy students, so I could pay rent. I was so poor and isolated that I made zero friends through college. Upon graduation, all the colleagues with the right connections, whom I've been tutoring and doing projects for, found great jobs within a week of graduating. It took me YEARS... It was absolutely brutal. I had 3 consecutive years where I made a max of $15K/year. Nothing made me feel more worthless than seeing the laziest of the lazy, the most inept people I ever tutored, get fantastic jobs with a well-placed phone call...
Exactly. I'm 42, recently diagnosed, mother of an autistic child as well, have been focused on him for 12 years and have literally zero connections outside my home. I haven't even been given the opportunity to go to a job interview, no matter how many offers I apply to. My resume must be worth nothing, doesn't matter if I have a college degree or decades of experience as a video editor (working from home and for free, that is). I have zero friends and zero connections. I'm never getting another job 😞
My current job was via one of these connections too- my brother got me an internship at his company. I work from home doing coding for a website. Being a "nepotism" hire is in the back of my head every single day, even though most other employees told me I was the fastest progressing intern they ever had, that imposter syndrome is hard to shake
The standard "job" process feels like it was designed specifically to exclude and torture Autistic people. Dealing with hundreds of rejections. Interviews. Talking yourself up in a resume. Playing little bullshit games that are totally arbitrary (e.g. Answering the questions "where do you see yourself in 5 years?", "What is your biggest weakness?" etc.).
yes! I applied to hundreds of jobs and didn't get an interview. I was in employment and spent 2 years searching for another job because I knew it was bad for my health and ended up unemployed because the rejection and effort was too much. I felt like I was playing mind games to convince them i was good at things without accomodations
Exactly the CBT use language . Patronising misdiagnosed autistics who have no good refs due to autism and scapegoating for others.
I can’t do anything on line as I’m ghosted permanently sept comments on comments. Due to my l wing politics
And I’m not good
These companies want free labour though
My dad’s autistic and once was unable to get a job because he unconsciously stimmed during an interview to relieve stress. Nothing too noteworthy, he just bounced his leg the entire time and occasionally tapped his fingers on the desk.
He’s a trained psychologist.
He was applying to work at an organization meant to help developmentally disabled people learn life skills. One of their services was a program to help people get employed.
The hypocrisy of some people is astounding.
I'm so sorry your dad had to go through that
I hope he finds a better place that would show more humanity and kindness
He's probably a really good Psychologist
This soooo resonates……
Sylvia Plath described sitting under an apple tree, where each apple represented a career path, and trying to decide which apple to take. She said she spent so much time deciding that all the apples went rotten and fell out of the tree.
I feel like that. I'm pushing 50, and just today I told a relative that I don't know what I want to do when I grow uo.
Wow, same. Pushing 50, and I have barely an idea. I’m a massage therapist, so most of the time my clients are quiet for each session. I don’t have to talk or maintain eye contact, but I’m ready for something else.
@@taoist32 I hope you and I can both find it. I'm newly diagnosed, so I feel like that's a bit of a decoder ring to help me figure it out. But that decoder ring's just got one hell of a user's manual, and it takes time...
53 here and same. I feel as if life is over and I have no drive at all to start a new career. I do remember though my friends GF at 45yrs old ewent to school and started a new career when she graduated at 48yrs old and was very happy. That said, I am looking into a night security job and part time at that. The least amount of time spent dealing with others is what I am looking for and night security sounds kinda pleasing NGL.
Same, autism kept me out of college, military, and training. It's been 35 years of fast food, warehouse work, landscaping and retail. If I was born 10 years later, my apples wouldn't have been taken away.
I'm in my 40s now, but I remember telling my friend's grandfather in my mid 20s that I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grow up. He paused for a second, smiled, and said "You know, that's okay. I really don't either."
Those words were and still are very comforting to me. I've had a hodge-podge of unrelated jobs over my lifetime, and because of that conversation, I feel like I don't need to feel guilty about it.
I shamed myself for years over my inability to hold a neurotypical job. Not sure where I belong in the workforce
Same here!
I totally get you! I keep trying to get career advice on what would be a good fit for me and they just don't know what to do with me.
Same!! I found that where I belong is taking care of other autistic people. I found a summer camp where all participants have ASD. Everyone there is very aware of the challenges of ASD and they don't mind my traits. It's very tiring, but also very gratifying. It's the first job I found in which I liked what I was doing.
My advice is just to try something new, even if it's not in a field you know well. You'll learn more things than if you stay in one field where you don't fit. That's what my therapist told me and she was right.
I hope you can find something that fits you well.
@@tomrio9152 I love this
Me
I'm self diagnosed autistic and I just happened upon the field I am in now and I think it is very autistic friendly. In fact, I think it draws autistic people to it. I work in histology and it is a very routine, repetitive field. You work in a lab and have no patient contact and very little interactions with others. I do the same thing everyday and am able to listen to audio books and podcasts while I work and I get paid quite well. You do have to have good hand eye coordination though which I have from being a musician. It's a field not many know about, so I just wanted to let others know about it.
Thank you SO much for sharing this!
Similar to me & truck driving, i'm alone & i listen to podcasts all shift. Decent wage, keeping busy & doing the same thing everyday. I get to take paid naps when i like. Would never have thought about it as a kid, as i was an A* student
I also work in histology, and think its a great field for people on the spectrum. Although personally I have always been drawn to the gross examination aspect of pathology. I am in the process of completing my education to transition from histologist to PA so I can do gross examination full time.
I worked in histology and it was the worst job I ever had. I was treated like shit, was driven into autistic burnout and severe suicidality.
Now I work in an office and everybody cares about my specific needs.
So, it's not the type of work, it's very much about finding a specific workplace where you fit in with the people and where you are allowed to be yourself.
I'm happy you found your spot!
@@anniestumpy9918 Completely agree. The previous lab I worked in definitely put me in a constant state of burn out towards the end. But the other labs I've worked in have been great. My current company is great and my supervisor is also self diagnosed autistic and she is very accommodating. She knows burnout all to well and doesn't want any of us to deal with it, autistic or not.
I didn't get a job until I was 25, and that was "nepotism" and skipping the interview stage. 🙃
Interviews are tough, and it's worst when the other person can sense something is "off" about you.
I think the environment is becoming more friendly towards neurodivergent people, but we still have a ways to go for sure.
I've had my share of interviews for which I was over-qualified yet never got even a phone call back. I'd always wondered why--now I know! lol
That I was able to move out of my folk’s house and get by freelancing had a lot to do with a friend of the family, who I now think was probably on the spectrum, getting me some fairly regular work at the company he worked for. It’s occurred to me in the last couple years that it may have been an intentional act of support on his part; he was always grateful to my folks for inviting him to Thanksgivings. So it may also have been “nepotism” of a sort, but I put it in quotes as you do. Within reason, I think relationships and support are okay. Society seems to have fallen into the notion that employment is supposed to be this solitary survival of the fittest, but everyone deserves a little help sometimes.
"when the other person can sense something is "off" about you"
Yeah, apparently the whole body language / non-verbal communication / eye contact thing is a deal breaker for about 43% of employers, so autistic folks already have their chances of getting through an interview cut in half right there.
@@jimwilliams3816 💯% agreed!
@@jeremiahtree-dweller7370 I have heard though, that being over-qualified deters employers from hiring you, as they are afraid you'll move on to greener pastures as soon as a job that fits your qualifications better comes up. (And as nobody will ever admit to using someone or something as a stepping stone....) Though neurodivergence definitely plays into it, too. I just found the over-qualification bit interesting when I learned about it. Depending on your field it might not make sense to go for a master's or doctorate as it actually decreases your employment chances (depending on what exactly you wanna do witth the degree of course). 🙄🤷♀
This one time at a job interview I told the interviewer about the Epic of Gilgamesh instead of telling her about myself. I am not good at interviews lol
I love this! 😭 Their loss!!
oh my god same
i just work at a convenience store for uh
my own convenience
and the reason im here is because i had the opportunity to join instantly without a resume, interview or issue
i would cry if i had to take an interview, at least afterward
That would have been so cool to listen to. Especially if you correlated to your current situation.
Jeez lol
I would have hired you immediately!
The worst comment I've gotten from an interview was when I applied at a vet clinic/puppy daycare and the lady told me I wasn't "bubbly enough" to be at the reception desk. Like...what?!
Also the dogs in the play yard that were normally wary of people (even staff they already knew) LOVED me when I was doing the working interview part so... the dogs liking me was worth way more than a rude person liking me lmao
It's a reception job, not a theater play, what's wrong with some people?
@@Mizuki-dx5cuWhy? Animal owners can be rather stressed out regarding their pet care. The frontman has to have decent social pickups. The pets don't care about performance.
@@Mikinaak2023 They just said they weren't "Bubbly Enough" not that they lacked any sort of social skills, people shouldn't be forced to have a certain personality for a damn job, if they are nice enough and know what they're doing they deserve the job, besides what does a cheerful personality even do in a receptionist job to even get you less stressed out?
I have never seen someone who when stressed out WANTS a receptionist to cheerfully talk to them about whatever, they just want their little friend to be okay.
Makes sense tho if u think about it. A smiley, happy person would make a more superficially presentable image of a receptionist than a person who looks unhappy or monotone vocal delivery. Without knowing u as the hiring boss didnt, u could explain to the company that u would mask with customers to create a good experience for them. However while personality goes a long way, it shouldnt be all they judge u on... clerical, typing skills, phone manner and working with the team would be just as important. But if someone is bubbly and has all those things, they would defo be most likely to get job. Sorry for your experience, i agree with u but also trying to see it from their point of view. It also depends on what kind of receptionist it is for what company
Same here. And its been that experience for me for the past several months. I just want to work with animals which are my life passion 😢
I got my last job, because I had absolutely no expectations and just went to the job interview for fun. In the first 10 minutes, I mentioned that I am AuDHD and educated the people there about my neurodivergent needs. Then, I unmasked and began talking about my special interest (that has not much to do with the job), I was very motivated and authentic, so the job interviewers liked it. This experience was like a therapy session for me, I understood that being authentic is the key to success. Because I do not want to work somewhere where I cannot be myself. I make more and more experience, that I get positive feedback from people when I unmask.
Wow! That sounds like you got very, very lucky. I'd love to find a place that actually values difference instead of conformity. There's such a big disconnect between what I know I could provide to a company and their ability to see it
Sounds like the interviewers like actual people, instead of the HR manual image of what people are supposed to be. Good for them!
This gave me hope, thank you 🙏🏻✨
Yes, I always saw interviews like playing a role or a short game of cards, and while, I knew I’d play the game, I’d play it being myself. That worked for me. And like you, I’d have fun. I’d have fun because I knew if we didn’t click or I got the impression it was not a place I’d like to work, I was going to send them a rejection letter before they could send me one.
Yeah, this reason is exactly why I refuse to agree to just any work conditions. If I can't be somewhat authentic then the work place is going to make me fall apart sooner or later anyway
As an autistic person, I feel like it's not talked about enough that the job-searching process is extremely hard for us. It's hard to understand what should be on the resume or in a cover letter (which leads to proctrastination and last-minute sending of those files or overfixation, and always to stress); it's hard to understand how to get ready for the interview and what the questions there could actually mean (like if they are a test for something else); it's impossible to predict whether telling the HR that I have autism is a good or a bad idea; there is also the problem of fitting in and makng friends at the new work place, and many more other issues. Right now I'm working as a translator (the story of a special interest becoming one's profession), the pay is okay but not great. I know that although I might be interested in changing jobs for a better paid job in the same field, there is a heck of a ride ahead of me if I choose to do so.
Wait, did you not learn how to write resumes and cover letters, as well as common interviewing strategies in school?! I always knew I was privileged with my schooling, but this further cements my conviction that school does not teach enough relevant adulting things!
Safe bet that HR is not trustworthy. They'll throw their own mother under the bus for validation of their jobs.
i found for resumes using ai like chatgpt really helps, you can ask it for help writing an resume and it will give you an outline. also you can ask “can you give me an example for *this part*” to get a better understanding. you can also ask how to phrase certain skills you have for a resume so that you can get the right phrasing and length down, personally i change and edit what it gives me but it’s a great assistance for something that normally stresses me out a lot
I work in fast food, possibly one of the least autistic friendly job. But I find that it's just about manageable bc my managers actually accommodate me (don't do customer service, allowed to wear noise cancelling earplugs/loops, etc.) even though I don't technically have a formal diagnosis (just an NHS letter saying I am eligible for further testing I just gotta wait 3 years :'))
I'm very lucky to have a manager who is so understanding, they are out there (unfortunately not as common as they should be)
Good luck to anyone trying to find work!
This is amazing and gives me a lot of hope for meeting understanding people!
I'm so glad you have such a lovely manager!!
You have a nice manager
It’s funny how many people say how horrible the US system is, capitalism is the worst, etc. and socialism/communism is the right thing, it’s far better.
Then I keep running into tales such as this, where people are forced to wait for years to get something they need, taken care of: that’s a lot of time to burn and destroy a life in the meantime, and depending on what is going on, may not merely be a major setback, but may ultimately be fatal!
@strictnonconformist7369 yes but, if people have no money to begin with how could they afford private healthcare anyway? The choice we have isn't "communism or free market", it's less-than-ideal-healthcare or absolutely nothing.
Yeah, being able to get into hyperfocus/flow-state at work is huge for me. I was able to do that at my last job. They really liked the results I produced, but, infuriatingly, they refused to provide accommodations to let me do that *consistently*. Like, I can only do that if I'm not constantly interrupted, and they refused to just let me work from home.
That's so frustrating - I'm sorry ☹️
I had the exact same issue! I was so frustrated. I had to work in a hall with another colleague. It felt really exposed, there was lots of noise and my desk regularly got surrounded in boxes that needed to be sent out. I just really wanted to work in one of the offices which were quieter and more private.
Same issue but I’m in high school
I'm having this problem now my employer. I've gotten a talking to over drops in my productivity. We were able to see from reports this would happen on days with nonstop meetings and Teams conversations or days of coworkers calling off (not saying they can't just saying I can barely deal with myself and my own work load so covering for another is very challenging for me). So constant interruptions. They know I'm diagnosed ASD but still I'm having to defend myself. Even though I've already told them. It's like they think autism is something you can just turn off and on.
This is such a common issue, I feel this.
In my own experience, whenever I have been unemployed I have found it really helpful to volunteer somewhere. I have volunteered at libraries, museums, a Cats Protection charity shop, a castle, a historical house, archives, gardening etc. Even when I have some volunteering I might apply to another thing so I can get an idea of what sector I would like to work in. It helps me to feel like I am working hard too and gives me a nice break from job hunting. It also really helps with reducing gaps.
That's great! Really glad for you. I've been doing similarly since I turned 18. It was most difficult finding "the right job," but sometimes volunteer work can - in some cases - turn into paid work.
My grandfather used to say Find something that makes you happy and passionate. Don't settle for low pay. You are more worth than that! ❤ 🌟
I do volunteer currently, and it is super flexible. I'm on the fundraising committee for a non profit counseling service. They meet via Zoom once a month or so usually. I just got informed that would be a better fit for me versus the front desk as a volunteer at their office. She didn't want to send me off, and felt my skills could be used somewhere else.
I’m a cat rescuer and I love you for your volunteering…
How do you pay rent and survive with only volunteer work? I'm trying to get employed and my doctor recommended volunteering but that won't pay my bills I don't know what to do
@@oopsiedaisy1320 You make a very fair point. I am having the same issue right now.
I've noticed this new trend of companies putting "Soft skills" in the job requirements as a politically correct way of saying "Neurotypicals only"
What the fuck? ??
You can still have soft skills if you are autistic. You just need to mask, it depends where you are on the spectrum. However, those soft skills can become very exhausting for sure.
@@justing7202 "soft skills" = doesn't matter how good you are at the work, if you don't fit in we don't want you. only took 20 years in the workforce to realize being incompetent is fine( damn near encouraged in some cases) if you don't rock the boat
Literally just today had to argue my case with my step mum that I am infact autistic but she's as usual not having any of it. I was diagnosed at 17 I'm now 31. Dad's side still won't have any of it because I'm not a more obvious autistic person, I was diagnosed with "aspergers" and that side of my families ignorance of autism really shows and they just don't care to educate on it. If your not showing more "severe" or "obvious" signs on autism constantly to them then your just not autistic. It frustrates me and actually offends me so much. It sucks.
I'm sorry that's happening to you. My paternal family likewise won't acknowledge my experience. They never say it outright, but I think they believe I'm making it up to take advantage of social supports. It's awful when the people you should be able to rely on for support won't accept the reality that you need it from them. I hope there are other people in your life who accept and support you
I can relate somewhat. I have many of the problems of autism-including social ineptitude-but they were never so terribly severe that I knew I even had it until I was, like, twenty years old. So I was a _weirdo_ rather than a _person with a disability_ up till then.
It also didn't help that my perception of “autism” during those formative years came almost entirely from memes. (Look up “when the autistic kid” and you'll see what I mean.)
This story reminds me of my mom calling my shortcomings "excuses". She doesn't even realize the amount of effort and emotional energy I expend just to talk to her. Especially when she's being disparaging. It's glaringly obvious she "just wants me to be normal". Which is something I can't provide. I left home at 17, broke contact at 21 and didn't talk to her again until I was 35. That's when I tried to reconnect, see if I'd gotten strong enough to resist her negativity / she had changed her perspective any. The first two months went great, but at the first incident where something I did bothered her, she spent the next 4 months talking down to me whilst I tried to steer the conversation to a workable solution to prevent it happening again. After 4 months I gave up on the whole reconciliation experiment and then she suddenly became agreeable. But I don't feel safe at all near her. Next time will be no different. 70 years old and she's still stuck in the same pattern.
So my advise is: If people can't accept you for who you are, don't keep them in your life. They don't love you, they love their imaginary version of you. I have a couple of close friends and they feel more like family than she does. I would go through fire for them because they appreciate my strengths and tolerate my faults. They've stood by me and held me up when life was at its worst and they've trusted me when life was hard for them. That's love. And you won't find it with people who think they can place demands on the immutable parts of yourself.
I wish you good luck and great friends.
Sounds like my family to a T!! 🤬 I’m obviously living with undiagnosed ADHD & possibly I would say autism as well but because I can talk & have an anxiety disorder they think I’m just not trying hard enough. 🫠 it’s such bullshit.
Same here
I'm 33 now and still struggling with employment. Though in a way, I have the opposite problem. I'm a wonderful employee and bosses (that care) love me. But at my own expense, I'm hyper vigilant to prove myself and over preform, I get burnt out and hit the wall. On top of that, I've been a constant target for bully bosses and the last two jobs I had drove me into the ground. I had a terribly sobering and depressed realization last year of, wow, I'm gonna struggle with this for the rest of my life. I truly felt defeated. Jobs that I enjoyed and was very good at, I had to accept I can't do these, for my own health.
Luckily, for now, I'm in a job that seems far more my speed, but am struggling with the social office environment now. All this to say, it's been a taxing experience to say the least but I'm still trying to find my niche and figure it out. It's daunting.
This is exactly how I feel. Hang in there 😥
Yes, it is daunting. One of the things that kept me going is I didn’t like getting beat, people or places getting the better of me. That didn’t mean I stuck at a job I thought was toxic, but it did mean that I found ways to cope with toxic people in those jobs.
Wow reading this was so.... validating. Thank you. I'm 35 have always excelled in my field of work but everytime I burn out develope crazy anxiety and have to resign. My employer is always shocked and does everything to try and keep me but I just can't do it anymore 😢. I'm only just realising now employment is not the answer and I need to find my own way
@@deaddog8507 Try not to let it get you down man! It's (hopefully) all about finding that niche that suits you. The job I'm in right now is something I never would've considered before, being too boring and mind numbing. So far, it's surprisingly perfect. So consider some other options you might've turned down before. Write out what seems to be stressors in the jobs you've left and maybe help narrow down the sort of avenue might suit you best. Try not to think of it as repeatedly failing, but shopping for the right role for you.
I work as an online tutor. Its quite a social role but due to a clear process for the talking i manage quite comfortably. Also being self employed is great for having boundaries with work.
@burensohnmusk4721Your name sounds german. ^^ If you do it in Germany, can you tell me more about how you do it? Like over schuelerhilfe or something?
I was going to recommend tutoring, online hadn't occurred to me.
What website do you use
@burensohnmusk4721 Same here. I do that job but can't do it more than 1-2 hours a day max. It's manageable but draining after a little while.
I definitely find that my PDA profile makes it harder to find/keep a job. I really can't do it if I don't enjoy it - and the only jobs I've enjoyed so far, I've had to quit due to my physical disabilities. I'm in the US, and to get disability benefits you can't work at all...(it kills me that I have to depend on others right now while I'm waiting for benefits because I genuinely love being independent). The struggle is sooo real... (The fact that I'm also a moral anarchist and anti-capitalist makes it especially hard to "just get a job" especially if I find the work or company is immoral or corrupt in some way.)
I deal with low back pain, and yeeep. I've quit jobs due to it. I cannot stand for extended periods of time. It sucks.
Enforced poverty and isolation is terrific public policy! /s
I LOATHE the US disability system. Why would you want to squander anyones capacity to make meaningful productive contributions to their communities? You’re able to work 10 hours a week but unable to work 40+, great! Wtf would anyone object to that? God forbid people with disabilities have any shot at happiness, dignity, or some spending money.
I am having such a hard time getting a job, not only because the job market SUCKS but also because being neurodivergent, my brain has strict parameters for what I can apply for, and every rejection feels personal and deeply affects my sense of self worth 😬 and trying to explain this to my family is like talking to a brick wall so this video was incredibly validating ❤️
Also, the pictures you used for burn out (the burnt toast) and held back (the dog on the leash) made my brain very happy! 😊
I literally fell into swim teaching by chance. I’d been illegally let go from a different job and was applying for anything and everything. It turned out, I had to be given my old job back but I’d interviewed at a swim school and they said that if I did my training course, they’d let me do my training hours there. So I did the Austswim course and did my hours. Then I got a shift on Friday mornings. After another two years, the other job let me go again and I got more shifts teaching kids to swim. That was nearly 12 years ago now. It’s the longest I’ve ever had a job for and I love it so much.
Most places are crying out for swim teachers - Covid did a number on the industry. If you like water and kids, it’s perfect. Kids also don’t see our autism and I have quite a few kids who are neurodiverse.
We love our Austswim qualified teachers ❤❤ my boys absolutely adore their teachers and love learning to swim! Teaching a lifelong, potentially life saving skill would be so meaningful too!
@@chloecrawford5426 I’m super glad your kiddos are loving swimming and love their teachers. It brought a smile to my face 💕
I've been able to be consistently employed for my entire adulthood, but there is definitely a place where I hit a wall and either don't advance or don't stay on long past it. I realized this past week during some conflict with a superior that many neurotypical people can just put up with more bullshit than I can. Everyone's hated this woman for two decades but they mostly just grumble about it, but I'm at eight months and she's about to give me a breakdown.
My social at work battery is running out and its been depleting without a charge for years. I understand this. Tho I can handle bs if its not straight up bullying, but my struggle is not wanting to socialize, not wanting to do work I hate, and being bad at working outside of my pace.
Felt that 😂
We have to act at work.
Interesting, that might explain why I struggle to stay with a job long term. After 5 years, it gets too frustrating and I start looking again...
I will say for the job one picking a field that makes you feel like your work matters is what made me (autistic adhd) go from being incredibly depressed and feeling worthless to now confident and having my job and skills as part of my identity. I take so much pride in telling people that I'm a welder, just the ability to look at a building and say "I built that" or to look at a car which used parts that I manufacture and could have been made by me. I feel valuable to society and to my family because I can also apply these skills for hobby crafts and such. A solid working class is the backbone of any civilization, and save for farmers I don't think there's any job more important than construction and infrastructure.
I've always know I couldn't stand to live in cubical hell and spend all day in an office, and sure it's hard work both physically and it's just difficult to learn, it matters to me and it doesn't feel like I'm just pushing paper to make more money for my parent company to hoard while I do made up work for a made up business for made up numbers for made up money.
Haha your last few sentences resonate with me so hard. Good on you for finding your calling! That’s amazing and really inspiring!
It’s so validating to see that other people struggle with the meaningless of corporate bs as intensely as I do. Plenty of people pay lip service to it but, like you and other AuDHD peeps I’ve encountered in autistic spaces online, it is soul-crushing to me in a way I seem unable to adequately communicate to neurotypical people. Being in those environments makes me extremely depressed and burnt out, and I inevitably find myself wishing for non-existence. I think plenty of people write me off as just being overly dramatic about it, but it kills me to deal with how pointless the made-up numbers, busy work, and games are.
I once too made welding a big part of my identity, until a couple of years into full-time work I burnt out from working in horrible conditions, for low pay, expected to work overtime and micro-managing. I haven't been able to get another job in 6 months despite my extensive training and the supposed demand for welders. There's definitely a lot of hyperbole out there lately with regards to the trades. I'm glad it's working out for you though!
@@daniburns6369 Funny enough I'm in a similar boat to you, after welding for a lil while longer I got some injuries, and I started doing more out of position welds. Welding overhead for like 4 hours straight is so awful. I thought learning overhead would increase my value but no. Just get thrown in a tiny trench for the same pay now with the fire going on top of me rather than in front of me. All the dust and slag rains down as well and it's so hot. I'm an arc welder so I mostly do stick and flux core welding with a bit of mig and tig on the side, mig welders get such the short end of the stick.
Stick welding makes great money I won't lie, but it's hell on the body.
That said I found entry into an electrical apprentice program, ideally it'll be better. Electricians make more then welders, have more stable employment, and most importantly it's clean. I've done some plumbing, some electrical, a lot of welding, and I can say I'd rather come home not covered in metal dust, or shit, or rust.
@@CelesProxy Happy for you! I hope electrical is a good fit. I'm thinking of going into EHS, since I seem to love pointing out unsafe and unhygienic working conditions lol. I'm not sure if the job itself would suit me with having so much peopling to do, but it's a very interesting and rewarding field
I can't find a job as an autistic person, because I barely leave the house or talk to anyone and struggle just to get from one day to the next. I can't even imagine trying to deal with a job interview let alone make a positive enough impression to get the job.
Im 44, and I will NEVER WORK AGAIN.
I have been bullied/ignored so much in my previous jobs that it gave me CPTSD.
The mere thought of getting a job makes me extremely uncomfortable, so I just stay in my house. I can barely afford to do this.
how do you pay the bills? i’m so burnt out and can’t work anymore
@@peoniesandparchment I live in the UK and get money from the government.
It is not enough to live on really.
@@jamieholmes6087 Are you in therapy?
Pizza Delivery and Rural Mail Carrier were two of the jobs I've had where my autism really shined.
Interactions with people were minimal, the better you performed, the more it was worth it, our eidetic memories about seemingly inconsequential details were an asset, and there were lots of friendly doggos.
In the US, a Rural Mail Carrier is the one who drives mailbox to mailbox; City Carriers park the truck and walk because the boxes are not conveniently along the road.
First thing at the post office you gather your categories of mail, sort them to your addresses (which is becoming easier thanks to automated sorting at the processing centers), load your truck, and go!
Your route is rated at X hours. No matter how long it takes you, you're getting paid for at least that many hours.
So if you get good enough, it's a light mail day, or everything goes perfectly and you finish it super early, you still get paid for the whole day.
On the flip side, with the holidays coming up, you're going to be working longer because of the Christmas cards and packages, packages, packages, but you'll be making lots of overtime.
Pizza delivery isn't bad for an early job (high school or college), but probably a bit low paying later in life, plus it carries risks that many on the spectrum are not best equipped to deal with, namely, mugging. I was mugged twice in the space of a month, and at that point I decided that I'd done enough pizza delivery for a lifetime. If you're well built and well coordinated and know that you deal well with physical danger and physical confrontation, then try pizza delivery, if it meets your financial needs. Otherwise, avoid it. I imagine females also carry an elevated risk of sexual assault in such a job, so I think I'd recommend it for males only.
Since rural mail carrier doesn't involve carrying cash and probably involves less rough and tumble areas than pizza delivery can expose you to, it's probably a better idea.
Do mail carriers work alone or can there be two people in the truck?
I'm 31 and don't know how to drive. Don't know if I ever will, so a delivery job won't work unfortunately. I feel like I could do it all day and actually have fun doing it.
Pizza delivery is where its at!!!
@@azulizachan7595alone
Currently, I'm working a remote job and as someone who is autistic, has ADHD, PTSD, depression and anxiety it's really been a game changer! Especially, since the company I work for wants to be sure they can give me the necessary accommodations to thrive. I'm allowed to have slightly lower goals, more breaks and my schedule is very flexible in my department which helps a ton! I used to never think it was possible to have a job as I worked so many jobs (mostly retail/fast food) that would just ruin my mental health to a dangerous point. I remember counting down the hours I had to go back to work when my weekend came around. It was dreadful but with my new remote job I've learned that it wasn't that I couldn't work, it was just that those jobs didn't work well for me. If you ever feel hopeless please remember that there are places that want to help you succeed, you just have to keep trying to find them. I know how difficult it is and I really didn't believe I could ever have a job I was happy with but now I know I was wrong. Stay strong and remember to advocate for yourself as you are worth it! 💙
can you tell me more about this job? you said it's remote so does that mean you work from home? is it like an office job ?
@@jimskeuh Hi there! So basically I process documents and send out forms all day from my desk at home which I actually really enjoy. I never thought I'd enjoy such tedious tasks but I really enjoy looking at patterns. Some might say that it's boring to just try to process documents but for me boring is kinda nice because it takes the pressure off.
Speaking of which, being able to not have to worry about going into an office or talk to people on the phone has been incredible for my mental health. I really only talk to my coworkers and that's during short meeting, even then I don't have to talk much. I worked in many customer facing jobs and that just created a lot of burn out for me. Being able to sit at my desk or in bed at home has helped me quite a bit. Now I honestly don't feel I'd ever want to go back from remote!
I've also been thinking about getting a job in IT as it's a good field for pattern recognition and problem solving. For now though I am very happy with my job and I think a big reason it works so well for me too as that I did advocate for myself and I explained to my employer what accomodations I might need such as a bit lower goals, a flexible work schedule, more breaks if needed. All of those little accomodations help in a big way to not feel pressure or burnout as quickly.
What works for me may not work for everyone but if you have any other questions I'll do my best to answer! 💙
What company do you work for if you don’t mind me asking? Looking for remote work.
@@kendalltaylor2644 It's a government job where I work with taxes. Really I don't do much with numbers, I just process documents that give voluntary tax information. Working a government job I do feel like workers rights are taken a lot more seriously and accommodations have been easier to obtain. I don't want to say the exact company I work for as it could give away info on where I live but I hope I was able to help a bit 😄
@@woofexe4050 yes what company is it? my partner has ADHD, Treatment-resistant depression, bipolar, and CPTSD but isn't eligible for disability since he's never been able to work somewhere for more than 6 months, and has only had 2 jobs. What is this company so we can look into it as an option?
I am 36 and I've only had two jobs in my life. The first was a weekend temporary christmas retail job whilst I was still in school, I got that job because they needed lots of us to help out.
The second was a part time retail job that my sister got me because she worked there already. I think if I had applied without that I wouldn't have got the job, because I am not good at interviews - like many other autistic people I don't make a good first impression.
I worked in that part time retail job for 8 years until I had a breakdown (possibly burnout, retail requires so much masking even part time was mentally exhausting) and I couldn't leave my house any more.
Now I don't work because my mental health is too bad.
Also, whilst I was job hunting, I remember getting frustrated about not hearing back from any jobs I applied to.
The man at the job centre told me that it's likely not personal. He said every job advertised gets so many applicants that sometimes just to narrow it down employers will put CVs in two piles, flip a coin, and bin one pile. Because they just don't have the time to read every single CV or application sent in.
You could be getting filtered out by pure bad luck.
A huge issue is that I find most jobs boring because they are tedious and mundane for me given they don't relate to my interests.
As this is about jobs, I thought I would mention that I'm a Virtual Assistant and some of my clients are through Wired Differently so if anyone is in the UK this might help. All WD clients are ND, if you apply for an access to work grant you can use the grant to pay for a VA like me or for equipment. Basically anything specifically to help neurodivergent people at work, whether you're self employed or employed.
That's amazing!! Thank you for sharing that 💛
@@imautisticnowwhatyou're welcome. For people that aren't diagnosed, you can still apply you just need to be able to explain what you need support with and why. 👍
For a sec, when you said "I'm a Virtual Assistant" and "pay for a VA like me or for equipment", I thought you were an automated chat bot (which is much more common in these days of the instructive LLMs like ChatGPT)
Ooh yes vPA changed my life and helped my Aspy partner too when I had her. I paid myself to help me cope with admin alongside work but planning to request through ATW as I start new role. If you're in work and struggling it can be worth the cost because you actually save money by eg being able to claim your expenses.
Is there a way to find your website to contact you as I do really need the support again?! I know you didn't come here to advertise but I'd be happy to contact you.
I have tried several dozen jobs, was unemployed for years, failed five educations, have been a fulltime environmental activist and the co-founder of a democratic school. But it wasn't until after a burnout that I got a disability pension and decided to retrain as a mechanic and follow my longest passion: technology. It's only since I know I don't have to work to live that I'm able to focus and commit to a job. I work as a trainmechanic with the National Railways for three years now, and I have never kept a job before for longer than about a year and that wasn't even fulltime. If you have the possibility to retrain do it now, the economy is in our favour because there's an enormous shortage of skilled workers.
A problem that I deal with is eventually getting jobs, but settling for jobs that don't pay me appropriately for the amount of work that I do. I'm always under-earning and not even making a living wage because I'm forced to take jobs that don't pay enough after getting rejected by hundreds of higher paying jobs. Thank goodness I still live with my family, otherwise I'd have a job and still not make enough to have a roof over my head
But then I don't know how to feel about the fact that I get rejected from SO MANY jobs (even after being told by interviewers that I'm "perfect" for the job), but once I DO finally get one, some people I work with tell me I'm the ideal coworker and don't want me to leave!🤨 If that's true, then why am I getting passed over so much...(although racism may be another factor in my case)
I feel this comment
Same! I'm not autistic (at least haven't been diagnosed with it) but I've always taken fixed-term jobs or poorly paid jobs because I never get offered anything else. 🙃 Now I'm struggling to get any job at all and I don't understand why.
@@alice-elizabethNot being qualified is likely the reason...it's not rocket science to figure that out; can't get jobs if you don't have appropriate experience, even if it's not necessarily related to the job.
@@ChristoffRevan I've got lots of experience, I even have a Masters. I apply for jobs I'm perfectly qualified for but still get rejected.
Thats everyone in general. Not something autistic people have specifically.
I have been told I interview well. To counter some of your interview stress I recommend keeping these things in mind:
Places hire underquallified people all the time. I guarantee you they are already paying someone who is worse at their job than you would be
Places don't like having unfilled positions. The interviewer isn't your enemy. They're hoping you're the right person as much as you are.
If you don't get the job you're no worse off than you were before. You didn't have the job. You still don't have the job. Nothing has changed.
Don't bother being your authentic self fully. If you mask well, go ahead and use it. These people don't care to know you as a person. So be honest about your job skills, but if the conversation turns to local restaurants (this happened to me) just roll with it. That's the time to just skate by on pleasantries and nonsense.
I don't expect this to absolutely kill your anxiety. And the prep stress is real. But it always has given me an anchor to hold onto in interview situations
This is brilliant. Thank you!
There's another issue about how long it takes to find a job. It may be "normal" for it to take seven months, but each attempt is a massive energy expenditure and masking project. The exhaustion factor is more than likely to bring everything to a crashing halt before finding that job.
Neurotypicals usually only take between 1 to 3 months to find a new job, and they almost always already have a job while they're applying...they don't just quit and THEN look for one, they keep working until they get the new job. So no, 7 months is not normal...
If you're trying to talk about white collar work, it's literally the minority of jobs in the world, and it's super privileged to act like you're suffering major hardships when the average person could never even get a white collar job. Being super picky means you have a support system, so you should be thankful for it
Talking to my college about jobs and university has been a mostly negative experience so far except for one teacher who's been the first person to show understanding of how hard it can be being newly diagnosed autistic and trying to find out what I actually need/struggle with and the almost 80% of non-working autistic people
Nobody else seems to have any clue that my symptoms are genuine struggles and not temporary worries that most people stop feeling after it's all resolved. I will always struggle with certain things and so I have to take that into consideration, I'm not 'worried about what a job will be like' or 'worried about university', I'm genuinely concerned that I will not function in the environments I've always said I aspired to/seen my future self working in, and I'm even wondering now if I ever really wanted to be a teacher or if it was just the most 'me'-sounding job I could think of when I was younger so I'd have a sure answer to what I wanted to do
To me it's so blaringly obvious that I'm not just putting my future off or scrapping my plans to go to university (more like what everyone assumed my plan was from the beginning because I'm academically smart) on a whim, but I am yet to find anyone else in my life that ever recognised that I need to change things in my life to accommodate for myself and me knowing I'm autistic now is causing long-term concerns, not just a temporary irrational ones like everyone thought I used to have
Re: teaching, you can try substitute teaching first which will let you try different age groups and also let you sub for special needs kids (SPED). At least in the states (US), you can normaly sub for anything from kindergarten (5-6yo) to 8th grade (13-14yo) without a bachelors; they tend to require just a high school (secondary education) diploma or GED (an alternative to a HS diploma for those who drop out, have family/work obligations, want to get through their work faster, etc)
However, the requirements vary a lot from school district to school district (even within the same state), so you should check with your local requirements
"I'm genuinely concerned that I will not function in the environments I've always said I aspired to/seen my future self working in, and I'm even wondering now if I ever really wanted to be a teacher or if it was just the most 'me'-sounding job I could think of when I was younger so I'd have a sure answer to what I wanted to do" this is me.
I'm now aiming for my PhD instead of teaching high school because turns out the intense dread I felt at 16 when I was forced to think about employment was in fact prophetic. even though I'm now hurtling towards burn-out after (checks notes) almost ten fucking years of university, I'd still rather do that than experience what I went through during my mandatory internship where I "worked" (hardly, compared to any other teacher there) at a school. I only got through that internship through pure force of anxiety, self-discipline and routine, and I already did unrealistically little thanks to nobody expecting much of anything from an intern. in hindsight, that experience might have accelerated my rate of burnout because despite getting through it, the reality of proper employment (as opposed to working 40 hours a month at McDonald's like I have since starting uni) traumatized me so much that I realized that the life plans I made at 16 were pie in the sky. I'm genuinely not cut out for working and I've known it my whole life, even though I did all I could to convince myself that it would be fine.
She's in a very privileged position, as she said. Most of us need money, or we can't survive. I remember being jobless & on benefits for 2 months. I got £160 benefits a month. My rent was £500 at the time, then bills. Apart from that time, i've been employed since 14yo. There are a ton of jobs out there where they will hire ANYONE & you can just about scrap a living out of them, maybe. Talking about your supermarkets & your fast food places. Factory work & such, they are not fun jobs, that's why they are easy to get. I remember being in a really rubbish job, but it was during the 2008 financial crash. I applied for over 100 jobs a day, countrywide. I would usually get about 3 replies a week & that would translate into about 3 interviews a month. Those interviews would be ones where they lie about the wages, or the jobs & the job would end up being worse than the one i was currently in. In the end, i skilled up & became a truck driver, another job where they are always looking for people. My timeline of jobs.. a paperboy, chip boy (fish & chip shop) Burger king worker, burger king team leader, burger king manager (this is where i left school), whsmiths manager, flavour sample technician, hotel receptionist, hotel manager (got into a crazy amount of debt & life fell apart), supermarket nightworker, then truck driver. At gone 30yo, truck driver was the first job which was a liveable wage & i didn't crash headlong into meltdown & depression. Life can be tough
If she can hold off half a year or so & find the right job, where they care about her degree. It can be a very demoralising journey, but it'll be worth it in the end, i'm sure!
£160 a month 😭 That's insane!!
Support work is sadly another who are always desperate for people. Thank you for sharing your work history. Truck driving sounds pretty autism-friendly! I imagine it's tiring though.
@@imautisticnowwhat Yes i said somewhere else, but truck driving. You are alone, doing repetitive work. Listening to special interest podcasts or books. You can take naps when you like (paid) & it's a very liveable wage. I would never have thought about doing this as an A* student (that dropped out)
Truck driving in Australia sent me over the edge. I can't handle people in traffic. I get too aggressive. Literally sent me over it, I'm now incredibly hostile
@@bibsp3556 Sorry to hear that. I drive at night, so it's very quiet most of the time. I do hit a little morning traffic. But it's usually not for long in the built up areas. So it's manageable. I work for a supermarket chain. So most of the stores are pretty easy to get to
@@bibsp3556Yeah you need therapy
We weren't made to work mindless jobs and without support that's all we can get into because schooling and housing is so expensive.
Left my neurotypical job in 2002 at age 32 to become a self employed artist. Joined the UK's biggest art publisher in 2005 and I've painted for them ever since. I sit in my garden studio 14 hours a day all year long. I have minimal contact with the outside world which is perfect and despite that I have managed to become one of the UK's top sellers. Just lucky I guess but I find hyper focus and perfectionism are a huge driving force in anything I do that's art related.
what a dream
I can relate when you say people can end up making cups of tea for people. In the 80s I finished a Humanities degree. Started volunteering at Citizens Advice. Found the coordination of accessing information from shelves, putting it back, reading documents in group settings then talking about the information was near impossible. I left and ended up making drinks, scones and toast for old people at Age UK.
I'm sorry that happened to you. This is why I have no regrets about quitting uni. Its great to feel that sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, but the crippling debt and time wasted isn't worth it when you could just as easily autodidact and learn about your field of passions at home/online.
You're not alone. It was a struggle for me to get my first job; in high school I was constantly told that I needed job experience in order to get the job. I did volunteer work since 8th grade with a youth group, but that never seemed to count for anything in their eyes. My first job was a community service work study through my college where my school paid me $8 an hour to volunteer at the local children's museum. I would even help out there over the summer when my college wouldn't pay me because I've always wanted to help people. My college ended up convincing me to enroll in the 5-year program where I would get my bachelors degree in Fine Arts and a Masters in art education, assuring me that it would help me get a job after graduation.
Long story short, it was a big old lie. Nobody wanted to hire me because my degrees meant that I had a bigger salary price tag that came with none of the teaching experience. Job interview after job interview turned me down (and I hate the very process of it in the first place--so very stressful and overwhelming). I understand exactly what you mean about feeling like an impostor and like you're lying. My cooperating teacher was part of the interviewing process for a teaching job in her district, and she told me after the fact that I should have pumped myself up more, selling myself. It's incredibly hard to do, especially when people have called you a weirdo your whole life, convinced you were stupid because you were so quiet, excluded you/didn't recognize you even existed, on top of your family constantly acting like you're a burden/you're just being ridiculous and insisting you just get over it and try harder. (Then there's also the fact that I've been undiagnosed my whole life, and it's only this year that I've started to piece things together through intensive research).
Advice from the education field was to "work your way up the system" by just getting your foot in the door with a district, so that's what I tried to do next. I ended up getting a before/after care program job that was part time and barely paid anything. I was happy to work with the kids, but the leadership totally took advantage of me. I basically became responsible for everything because only one person would come in early, and he would only set up his one table and nothing else. I was running myself ragged, trying to take care of everything else, and the lead at the school hated me. I never knew what I did because I tried so hard and even ended up doing some of her job because she was never there on time. She would exclude me from hangouts after work (I would hear people talking about it amongst themselves the whole shift but people would never invite me or even mention it to me). When I tried reaching out to the head of the entire program about it, I was told that it was all in my head, enduring extreme gas lighting, and they then forced me into counseling because I was "imagining" it. They lied about so many things and always made me out to be the bad guy, the one in the wrong.
I tried to go the teacher's assistant route in another school district, but the same thing basically played out. I was taken advantage of, used like a disposable tool, and then tossed aside. One of the principals told me in passing that they wouldn't need me the following year "because of my degree." I got shoved to other schools in the district, only to basically be told the same thing. I thought I finally had found a place to be accepted at the preschool, as my co-teacher adored me and because the principal wanted to put me in charge of the after care program. I thought I had finally found my place, but then the principal ripped the rug out from me yet again. During a zoom call she told me that I didn't deserve any of the money I was making and pushed hard to make me resign to "keep good relations with the district." With the pandemic, though, both the teacher's assistant job and the original before/after care position at the other district were eliminated to "cut costs."
It's been a struggle ever since. I always felt like I was a problem and not good enough with how jobs have treated me. I've tried to find new ones since the pandemic debacle, trying out cat cafe positions, a part-time child care position at the Y, etc. Each time it blows up in my face with people taking advantage of me (i.e. the cat cafe telling me that I would need to volunteer first for a month before getting hired--then after spending all that time volunteering, they told me I would be hired only to back out last minute and tell me that they wouldn't). I've been trying to keep myself afloat, but it's super hard. I've been doing babysitting/tutoring and pet sitting gigs in the mean time, but it's not nearly enough. I've been looking into online work/passive income because I just can't seem to succeed with traditional employment.
My parents just keep pressuring to "get a real job." I literally would if I could, but most places ghost me during the interview process or shoot me down. I'm just so sick and tired of it. I'm burnt out by it all, and I don't know what to do about it to actually be able to succeed in this world. It's always felt like the world was against me (school was a living hell), but I did everything I was "supposed" to do--everything that they told me was needed to succeed and get a job. My best apparently is never good enough.
I might know what this is like. That is all I can say.
I am 55, and my career journey started by working at McDonald’s at age 15. I was terrified of working the cash register at first, but found that because the interaction is completely scripted, “what can I get for you today?” etc., it allowed me to talk to hundreds of total strangers a day, and get used to looking into people’s faces, practicing eye contact, practicing facial expressions, watching and learning from neurotypical people, and it’s all low-stakes. The worst that can happen is they think you’re a little odd, but they’ll forget all about you within a minute or two. I know it doesn’t pay much, but it was a major part of pulling me out of my shell and helping me feel more comfortable interacting. I worked every station, completed every SOC, and became employee of the month twice in row- all faster than anyone at that location ever had. The tasks are all so focused, and they actually appreciate it when you do things perfectly and perfectly time things. Perfectly placing pickles, perfectly aligning an egg McMuffin. I know it probably sounds really lame, but I really really enjoyed my first real job. Another job I did that drew on my autistic superpowers was designing and creating window displays for department stores. I was really good it and was recommended to others because of it. People would walk by and come into the store just to find out who did their window display, and be amazed at how creative or eye-catching it was. Today, I have degrees in Cognitive Science, Educational Technology, and Learning Design. I have been self-employed almost my entire adult career (being a consultant makes everything easier socially), and these days I help companies create effective training programs and analyze the effectiveness and impact of learning experiences. As a hobby, I do research and am working on a new model of acoustic reasoning in orb weaver spiders for my cognition studies, and I’m developing a new type of dipole antenna resonator that uses ions instead of electrons to pick up ELF at frequencies that are currently invisible to us. There are jobs out there that can help you develop skills you’re not naturally good at, like social interaction, and there are jobs where extreme focus and having a different kind of mind actually help, rather than hinder you. Hang in there, much love. ❤️
What you do for a living sounds really interesting 😮
Everything you get to do sounds really fun :) thanks for sharing
autistic people :dont ever work as a cashier. burnout is guaranteed
I've had sorta the opposite experience working retail...Yes, it has helped me become less afraid of speaking to strangers in a menial way, but it also depletes my social energy to the point that I basically don't want to interact with any of my friends or family, ever.
Talking of having a script and talking to lots of people every day, I found I was very good at doing market research telephone interviews (I don't know if that's still a thing). The script is on the screen.
After about a week, I had the second highest rate of completed interviews, out of dozens of interviewers. I'm thinking my autistic qualities probably had something to do with that success, but I'm not sure which qualities.
I absolutely loathed that job though; I'd go to the bathroom every hour on the hour just to get a few moments' break. I wonder if someone else might enjoy it though, if it's still a thing.
I was diagnosed "aspergers syndrome" 26 years ago (I'd be given level 1 ASD today). Burnout tends to build up over the course of a year or two before continued employment becomes untenable for me, but luckily I live somewhere I can get financial support for my disability so I have the option to hunker down for recovery when I need it.
I've always found jobs through personal connections, never gotten an offer for a traditional application. Ask your friends & family if they know of anywhere that's hiring. But please listen to your body when it comes to burnout and try to identify supports you might be able to receive if you get a diagnosis. At 30, I can't understate how not-worth-it it's been for me to force myself to work through burnout for the sake of being accepted by people who don't understand autism. You can't please everyone; make sure you don't ignore your own well-being trying to meet an externally imposed standard.
If you have the option, consider pursuing non-conventional means of income, do odd jobs, walk dogs, nurture your hobbies and interests and see if you can build a following for your writing without making money at it to start.
Im 25 (officially diagnosed with level 1 ASD 2 years ago). I'm not sure if I'm in a stage of burnout or if i've just always been burnt out so consistently in my life that it feels like a default state, but I'm able to hold down long-term jobs. The problem is those jobs are soul-draining, retail-type jobs I have no passion for. I do good at my job, even tasks I hate doing I try to do them as best as I can because "Well im doing it now so I might as well do it right". I have tons of hobbies that I could potentially turn into some sort of income, the problem is between my part time job and online schooling, I don't really have much time for those hobbies (im also ADHD, so time management/time blindness is a big issue for me 😅) and I've gotten little to no real help from the vocational program I got into besides revamping my resume. I'm terrified my whole life will just be working at jobs that eat up my time and make me miserable until im too old to enjoy my life and its too late.
Currently going to school for Video game Art and development (potentially dual majoring in Game programming and development, as i enjoy both aspects and its less common for people to be able to do both), which is something im passionate about and hope I will continue to be in a career of it. My special interest is Paleontology, though. The reason I haven't tried to pursue that is that its a highly competitive field and theres not a lot of job opportunities. Plus, I could technically be a paleoartist all on my own as a freelancer. But again, the whole lack of time for hobbies thing.
I had a calling when I was young. I loved chemistry, I obsessed about it all my life. I got a degree in chemical engineering. I had research positions in college and made it my entire universe, I put my whole being into it. Not a single company would hire me. Years passed, nothing. Now I just write software while being incredibly underpaid. I wish I didn't exist.
Surely some evil corporation like Shell or BP (yes, they are evil originisations) would love to have someone like you. How is this possible?
Even though i dont know you im glad you exist and things can and will get better ❤
Know that you are loved more than you will ever know. ❤
Surely there's a shortage of chemistry graduates now - so many schools have no Chemistry teachers or labs and a lot of universities have closed their Chemistry departments.
Yes, I was in the death care profession but was cast out in every single job I had. I mean relentlessly bullied and assaulted then fired. Humans are cruel.
I really struggle with the whole employment world, always have, so it's comforting to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks for this videos,. they're super helpful ❤
For experience, sometimes it's just good to have any job just to show that you can actually work and turn up and do stuff.
44 year old late diagnosed ADHD and late self-diagnosed Autistic. I’m currently unemployed, it was my 3rd job so far this year. I don’t have a degree in anything and because of this I feel forever cursed to work in retail, the easiest jobs to land but always leaving me so burnt out. Every time I find myself back on the job hunting wagon all of my self-doubt and insecurities intensify. I hate job interviews, they are draining due to struggling to wear a mask I unknowingly dropped during quarantine. I hate having to pretend all over again. I’m so exhausted at this point. So much so that I find myself thinking about not existing far more often than in the past.
I just want a job where I don’t need to interact with people, where I can quietly do my job without interruptions. Haven’t had any luck yet. So I fear I will end up in retail yet again. 😔
You say that getting a job in retail is easy to land but I find in my case it isn't as I have been trying to get a retail job since I was 20, I am now 44 and I have NEVER had a payed job.
Applying for jobs and getting rejected again and again is so hurtful. I start to feel like a crap.
A lot of public-facing jobs these days require you to do lengthy personality tests where it's clear they want a neurotypical extravert. And they'll even have time limits on them to prevent you from overthinking and giving them the answers you think they want to hear. I have never gotten a job after one of those personality tests, and I would advise autistic people to just steer clear. Way too much anxiety involved for what is almost certainly going to be a rejection.
I love the childhood videos you put in! You were an ADORABLE toddler! :)
I guess the fact that I learn an enormous amount about my own (very recent) diagnosis is a plus, too. ;)
Thank you for all your work, you are an important source of inspiration, healing, and learning for me.
Thank you so much - I'm so glad I could help a little 💛
you help more than a little!@@imautisticnowwhat
I love the idea of a portfolio for this person. It gives an “out” for using all the fussy language to try and sell oneself and instead gives an example of capabilities, which can do the talking for you. I’m not necessarily in agreement about doing work specific to the job applied for for free. I know this happens in the wild world of freelancing, but if you’re applying to a company they have a budget to pay for this work and there’s nothing stopping them from using your ideas without hiring you. Additionally, some places have laws in place saying it’s legal to pay people with disabilities less. Where I am, for instance, the minimum wage for disabled is about a TENTH of what it is for non-disabled. That should be criminal imho, which is why we need more dialog and people/charities standing up for the community. Know your worth, don’t let employers exploit you 💜💜💜
In an interview I just want to say, “this is pointless most people lie, I don’t know how to tell you those lies because I can’t read your reactions to know what you want, just give me the job, the probation period will let you know if I can do the job or not, also who cares if I ‘fit your vibe’ what’s important is I can do the job and I will learn to do it better, also I need to work from home because the thought of leaving my house 5 days a week to be around other humans make me want to jump of a cliff”
….
Yeah…
yeah
Hello! I'm a late diagnosed autistic, I just got a job and I'm soon gonna start work. I got a job at a local grocery store. One thing that really helped me find a job was I went to a local employment office and chose the disability friendly one. They helped me so much! It made things feel a lot less overwhelming! I didn't have to worry as much about making calls and they were just super nice and so understanding of my disability. Honestly I know if I tried on my own again, it would have been a nightmare! So I hope this helps some people 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
My first "big girl job" aka full time was for a library when I was 29 (I'm 37 now). I applied for that specific job every time there was a posting and interviewed for it probably 6 times before I actually got it. I know I am TERRIBLE at interviews, so I always try to prepare as much as I can and write out responses that I can reference (which is a lot easier when the interview is virtual and I can just put the info to the side but off camera). I've also contacted the interviewer beforehand asking if I could get the questions ahead of time, because again, I know I'm terrible at interviews and the unexpectedness is what really throws me off. I fell into my current role by accident when the pandemic hit. I got reassigned from the library to a different department in the county temporarily and I ended up staying there when the position became permenant both because I work from home and because it was in a field more relevant to my Master's degree. Working from home has changed my life in so many ways. I actually have a lot of vacation time saved up because I'm not having to use up every hour of PTO when I get it because I would need to recover from overstimulation and my mental health is a lot better.
so what kind of job do you do now? in the library still?
I didn’t realize you could ask for the questions ahead of time - I’m doing that in the future for sure
@@jimskeuh I work in homelessness prevention in the same local government that the library is under.
@@alexandranorris1763 Yes do try it next time! It's more common than you'd think, so it's not looked at as weird if you ask. I try to mention that I would appreciate having the questions ahead of time so I can present my best self with less anxiety.
@@MonaLyssa33 and what does your job entail?
wow, ok, hi! So that first one was me! This came at a great time honestly. Life has been real complicated recently, and its nice to hear that i'm not alone.
Firstly, I have a diagnosis now! literally got it last week, and i'm very happy to finally have 3 years of questioning and self diagnosis be validated. (i'm very lucky i was able to get into the wait list for PsychiatryUK NHS referrals before they closed it, and while it took me aaaages to fill out the form i was supposed to fill out (executive dysfunction, forgetting it existed alongside finishing my studies and moving home etc. etc.) i finally had my assessment last wednesday, and was diagnosed.
Weirdly, I wish i could go back to university (I don't actually want to, just wish i could be back in that time again), because i think i just happen to work better in that type of enviromnment (perhaps not thrive, but it certainly seems to be better for me). This is the first time since i was a tiny child that i've *not* been in any kind of education, and the lack of stability and routine is one of the things that has really thrown me off and caused me to slip into burn out. The uncertainty of life at this stage has really thrown me through a loop, and its really difficult to get myself back into the swing of things.
At this stage, I think i may have found a job? It's currently at a weird ambiguous point where i've done a few trial shifts but i don't know if i'm getting paid yet. It's a job working at a livery yard (which connects to a previous special interest of mine - horses). However, I got back from another trial shift yesterday, feeling completely out of my depth and questioning if this was the right choice or not. Everyone there seems very nice, and I do like being around horses again, but I found myself feeling flustered and completely inexperienced. Then my brain spirals into a panic of "oh god this was the wrong decision but now i feel like its too late to turn back and aaaaaaaaa". I want to quit, but i don't, and i don't really know how to talk to anyone about it. My mother of course is very excited at the possibility of me finally having a job, so much so she's willing to drive me there and back while i'm still learning (again, another thing on my plate i have to think about. Luckily for me I kinda enjoy driving, but its still hard work on the brain.), and I know if i try and turn around and say i don't want to do it anymore she'll be disappointed, but maybe if anything it would hammer down the message that I really can't just go about life like anyone else would. I don't know. I keep swinging back and forth from "i'll learn, it'll be fine in the end" to "this is all a mistake and i need to quit" and it is very exhausting. I think i struggle with being the only newbie around who doesn't really know anything, whenever i get things wrong theres that RSD corner of my brain that tells me i'm an idiot for getting something wrong and should quit on the spot. I guess i'm just not really sure if this is really the right place for me, but i don't want to start working there and quit so soon after because the people pleaser in me doesn't want to disappoint anyone.
Possibly the worst part of all this is that I just don't write anymore. I find it difficult to motivate myself to write, and i'm sure this is a symptom of the burnout but it has me questioning if i wasted the last three years of university (where i studied creative writing) and now i'll never be able to write again. I can't even keep writing projects going on the side to use as a portfolio or possibly to be published in the future because i can't bring myself to write anything. I can't bring myself to do anything at all really. i haven't even really been doing much other job searching, I think partly because I just find the whole thing overwhelming. Theres so many jobs out there but the thought of going into it is intimidating. I think maybe part of the reason i'm questioning myself about working at the stables is just the intimidation of "omg i actually have to do this job now and i'm being paid to do it" and for some reason that freaks my brain out (maybe a PDA thing?).
Anyway, forgive my rambles, This is just a fresh wound at the moment lol. Funnily enough i did start a blog a while ago about my journey with discovering i'm autistic and such. I haven't updated it in a long time (writers block/burnout), and I kept getting a lot of spam messages on there, but i'll link it here incase anyone happens to be interested in my ramblings from years ago. www.journeytoneurodiversity.com/
If you've even read this far, thank you for engaging in my venting as i struggle through a very complicated period of my life. With any luck, I'll get out of this slump soon, cause i must say it really sucks to be in it.
I'm so excited for you that you think you have a job! Once it's finalized, do something to celebrate, because that is a huge accomplishment.
I do want to make sure to comment this - everyone I've ever known has felt wildly out of depth when they start their job, especially for the first couple of weeks or months. This includes my parents, one of whom was laid off and felt that way about his next job, and one who retired from full time and is currently working on a new type of career part time. It is normal to have a ton of questions and not know what is going on. You will get there!
But at the same time, if you see very bad red flags, I would not feel guilty for backing out. My first job was a nightmare, and I knew it was a mistake day one. It was an insurance job, so I want to caveat that is almost definitely not the situation you'll be in 😊. They had a training program to learn the job and I made the mistake of asking what would happen if we did not pass the training phase, and they didn't hesitate to tell us we would be fired. Cue months of anxiety, and a complete distrust in my safety at the job anytime I asked questions, even after I was over a year in and clearly not being fired. My boss reached a point where he was telling me it was okay to make mistakes every time we had a progress review, but I couldn't believe him or trust him no matter how many times they told me. They also had work demands that no human being should be under at an insurance job and I finally had a panic attack that took me to the hospital and I decided to start job hunting.
And I felt equally out of depth at my current job when I started, but the big thing is my team was so very helpful and have a culture of helping each other and working together, and even when the work is hard my team makes it easier. So I wouldn't necessarily panic if you feel very lost. It's completely normal.
I really hope this all resolves or at least settles down for you. You're doing incredible!!
P.s. congrats on your diagnosis! 🎉
@@rebeccacrow9427 Thanks for the reassurement! I do think i'm just getting in my own head a bit, but i guess its a bit different when you're working with animals. I don't want to put myself or the horses in danger by doing things wrong, yknow? I think i just need to confide in the manager a bit and ask for a bit more help, she's very lovely so i'm sure she'll be sympathetic, it's just all a lot for my poor brain who's never had to deal with all this before 😅😅
I so relate to your description of how it feels to be new at a job. I think it's wise to give it some time, because being new is stressful for everyone. Having worked as a crew manager for a maintenance company, I can tell you that every new hire is worried in their own way. If you feel comfortable confiding in the manager, I think that's a great idea. I know it feels stressful and uncomfortable now, but still, congrats on finding a job! I really hope it works out for you.
But, that being said, please listen to your body if you start seeing signs of burnout worsening. What you said about writing I relate to deeply. When I get burnt out I lose all ability to pursue my creative hobbies and start to feel mentally sluggish and like I'm shutting down anytime I'm not in a stressful situation just to recover what little energy I can. I went off work about four months ago due to burnout and I'm still trying to stabilize. Just as insurance for the worst case scenario, it could be worth considering what supports you can access where you live now that you have a diagnosis. Financial support for disability has literally saved my life and it allows me to seek respite from extreme burnout. You deserve to have a life with space for the things you love doing.
You have my solidarity, in any case. I have been through similar experiences and by the sounds of it you're doing great.
As rebeccacrow said, it's common to feel a bit out of your depth when you're just starting out. It's entirely possible that your doubts might have an element of imposter syndrome as well. It might be worth discussing it with whichever of your more experienced colleagues you feel most comfortable with - even if you don't know them as much as family, that should be someone who's hoping you succeed, but who isn't as invested as your mother is. Likely they've gone through something similar themselves and can give you some advice, and if practical they might be willing to mentor you a bit until you can settle in. Ultimately, though, if you are passing the trial (it's been a few days, how are you feeling about it now?), you're probably doing well enough.
Regarding the overwhelming feeling, I do wonder if the "it's easier to get the job you want if you already have a job, any job" piece of wisdom is another case of neurotypical people assuming that what works for them works for everyone. My experience is that if I'm doing a job that I hate or which is otherwise stressful, I just don't have the energy to do other stressful things... like jobhunting.
@@Draxynnic Things are a little bit weird at the moment still. I haven't heard back from them so i have no idea if/when i'll be working there again, but to be honest it gives me a sense of relief to know i don't have to go back yet, so maybe thats a sign that it's not for me, i'm not sure.
I have looked at some other jobs, i need to finish writing cover letters and apply to them, but it just takes so much brain power and clearly my brain percieves it as a huge demand and therefore avoids it at all costs. Executive functioning is certainly not helping me here lol. I think theres just a lot of demands in job hunting, and especially when i have other people pushing those demands on me more (my mother, and now also a careers counsellor as well), it sorta has the opposite effect that they want it to have, and i further just want to sit here and do nothing.
To be honest, i've been right in the throws of burnout all week, but I think i'm better now? Who knows, i might be back at rock bottom in a few days. Life is so uncertain at this point i just have no clue what's around the corner.
Nobody seems willing to give me an autistic trans girl a chance with a job 😢
I have sent out hundreds of job applications online. I really relate to this person who wrote to you
Eyy same here, I've done over 200 job applications online, 7 interviews and nothing. Never had this much a problem when I was male-presenting. But I guess I was also 18 and didn't have a 5 year gap in employment .-.
Omg as someone who identifies as a transgender woman but still presents as male this is part of the struggle to to come out publicly. It scares me that my authentic self will be just one more reason to not get the job or make it that much harder. As a ND person life and jobs are hard enough without adding a big pink flag that points out from across the room that im different than everyone else. So for now i just feel its better if i dont transition and just keep presenting male to make others more comfortable with me and not make my life anymore difficult than it already is. Hell I've been masking for 36 years whats the rest of my life gonna hurt? 😅😢
@@BRADDG42O that's the problem I have, I wanna transition more than anything but I know without a job I basically can't pay for it. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place 🥲
Being trans is just as bad for employment as face tattoos. It's very unfortunate.
I think the whole job application process is built on the assumption that you're neurotypical, and that's why job hunting is really hard if you're neurodivergent.
I feel like it's hard for everyone. A lot of ppl are neuro-divergent from trauma these days in the US and our work world has been down hill. It's about impossible to get an interview on apps like indeed.
Growing up I went through every single autistic and ADHD struggle as someone who didn't even know I had it. I started a special education program around elementary school at a real early age and remember being tested for disability with multiple tests over many years but now that I'm older I realize all those tests were flawed and the adults giving them were miseducated by older generations that didn't understand enough about these disabilities creating many stigmas and stereotypes that they had to go off from. Because of this I was never understood, labeled as Otherwise Health Impaired and was considered a bad child to both my teachers and parents who were quite often rude. This lead to me graduating at twenty years old after getting held back in fourth and eleventh grade and to not get my diploma which I was promised to get by the superintendent if I met criteria which I met. Now I'm twenty five and my dad wants me to run his extremely hard business so bad he's refusing to help me out with getting a house, job, car, license, saving money, etc. My stepmom has always been a mean selfish alcoholic and now my dad is abusing opioids due to having fibromyalgia. I'm to ditsy to due things on my own without help but no one believes I'm autistic and ADHD and I believe I'm just as autistic as you because I relate to your behaviors and experiences you've talked about in all your videos. Sadly I have an unsupportive family with an "I don't know what to tell you" attitude so I will most likely either never get diagnosed or it will be to late. No license, no car, no job, no friends, no money, no talent, never had a true relationship nor first kiss, don't like hugs and kisses but want them, don't know how to talk to others or what to say so they think I'm ignoring them or not interested. It really is a dark evil struggle having such a disability especially in 2023 and sorry if some of this made no sense and sorry it was long.
That's really hard.
It's not your fault bud. I hate to say it but with parents like yours you'd be better off with no parents at all. They sound like the extremely ignorant, self-absorbed, uneducated people.
I wish i could tell you it gets better but that would be a lie. Its ok to give up sometime. Take your time to enjoy the small part of life you can enjoy, seek therapy and if you cant, its ok to forget with the help of drugs because your parents dont deserve you.
My job hunt (after my Master’s) took 7 months, approximately 40 applications and 10-ish interviews. The world really needs universal food, housing, education and health care, like the treatment afforded Buddhist monks in 1960s Kung Fu movies.
One real tip (if you're in the UK) is to get hold of Access to Work funding. You can use it for pretty much anything that will help you in work - a support worker, specialist equipment etc.
I'm super lucky to have found a workplace that is a bit more accepting of neurodivergence, but I've even used my money to fund training for key staff to help them learn more.
Ooh, amazing! Thank you for sharing!
Regarding finding work (working for another person) - I think I need to hold my boss in high regard otherwise my pathological command aversion thing is always going to get the better of the situation (sometimes really, really quickly). Once I find myself thinking "You're a cretin. What am I doing letting you boss me?" it's game over. I've worked in so many different places and some of them have been majority low level racism or consisted of colleagues who were vicious and status driven (not collaborative at all).
I've never understood the concept of respect. I know admiration. I know loyalty. I know protectiveness. People used to say to me, "You should respect your elders." Why? It's totally arbitrary. I have to like the person who I let tell me what to do. Because 'respect' is meaningless, to me, the whole authority dynamic is broken.
The world of work was not made with us in mind. The whole thing of climbing on the remains of competitors - not for me. And I don't play the games. I don't know how to look overjoyed at the suggestion that if I do well I might be able to get gym or fast food vouchers. Whoopee! To me - when a superior tries to induce me to give more (I'll be already giving everything I've got, anyway) with vouchers or sweeteners - I just think about how else I'm being bamboozled. Commercial entities, though, by nature are always trying to squeeze just a little more out than they deserve. There's nothing of that ideal of fairness in it.
No. I want one single point of interaction and I want to be (need to be) in awe of that person. Then I will be their muse. I'm not awestruck by individuals/companies that are merely trying to accrue wealth. Oh, "scorn" is another concept I understand.
Has anybody here found a brilliant employment agency for autistic people? I suspect that there are a lot of private agencies, that portray themselves as fantastic at finding perfect placements, that get government funding so their mission is to just throw us at what we are trying to escape from. Keep throwing us back until we are either extinct, broken, or have fallen through the cracks out of sight and out of mind.
Another pet peeve is when I am extolled for wanting to help people, and I'm being trained up to be able to do that, but then 'cross selling' rears its ugly head. "It was nowhere in the job description, we know, but when you can get a customer to upgrade to a more expensive option - there'll be a reward for you."
And, when I go to read the other comments, I'm really hoping for a story by somebody who had the same issues as me but found a job so rewarding and perfect in every way (and are willing to explain what that job gives them, psychologically, that they didn't even realise they needed). Jobs that make people feel secure and valued. Jobs that challenge, just enough but not so much that they force shut downs, and hold the attention. Jobs where we don't need to wear an excruciating mask. Jobs where we're not going to be messed around with by narcissists. Jobs where we won't get caught up in office politics or power struggles.
I've had jobs I really liked. One, in particular, may or may not make sense. I was a croupier, for a few months, when I was about twenty one. Now, I think that's an excellent job for an autistic person ('card counting', as it is termed, is something I was dangerously good at (in training - we got to take turns being either dealer or punter)). Until the bosses' mistress, who is the youngest pit boss ever, decides she has to trip you up at every opportunity. It was way too easy for my superiors (not the customers - we were trained to mostly block their drama out) to interfere with my concentration and this one particular pit boss did not have my back like she was supposed to. So I left. She did it too many times.
Apart from the intense concentration, the constant arithmetic calculations, the injunction to be like an automaton (right up my street) - I'm not sure why being a croupier would appeal to an autistic person. It was something I could let my precision and consistency loose on. Being basically commanded to ignore every part of the customer's behavior that wasn't relevant to my task - that was good, too. Of course, you can't ignore your pit boss because their job is to watch out for you getting tired or starting to struggle so the croupier has to have them on a kind of auditory hotline. I liked the camaraderie with the other croupiers, too. They were all interesting people.
I'm an informally diagnosed autistic and I'm 31 years old and still live with my parents. This video honestly really hits home for me. I'm so scared I'll never be independent. I'm trying so hard, and even when making getting a job a priority and spending all my energy on it that I'm not spending on school, it took me until this year to get my temporary part time job back that I lost at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. And even this job is exhausting and I don't know if I'll ever be able to work full time in any job ever. :(
I told my boss that if we got offered full time, I'd take it and make it work because I need the money. But also I'm so scared that's a ticket straight to burnout. And my options are either stagnate in this part-time position and let my time on my contract run out and probably disappear into the ether or try to move ahead and burn out doing it. Both are equally terrifying to me and result in ultimately not having a job and not being able to make it in my field it seems like. @.@
What field are you referring to? (ppl can only help with enough context)
@KevinFlowersJr Ahh I'm not really looking for help with this comment. Just relating to the video, but my field is Library and Information Science.
@@libraryoflilylol199 Ah, fair enough. Hope things work out for you nonetheless 🤞
It takes me so long to find work, like months when I'm out of work. I was even in an autistic employment program but I still sent out hundreds of emails before finding ANOTHER shitty min wage job that drains me.
I opened up a cleaning business. Had my first big mistake that cost me money and my health for a few days, and it absolutely ruined my self confidence again.
I have certifications for a variety of jobs... But I wind up waiting tables, a TERRIBLE job for me, but it's what I know. I'm in a rut, I'm 39, I don't know what to do. Edit: I actually miss COVID desperately. Isolating and more money via pandemic unemployment than I'd ever seen in my life? Can't I go back to then?
I am a diagnosed autistic who is surprisingly a children's nurse, but I really love my job. Younger children are often quite direct and don't have those social rules ingrained into them too much and also when you are in a very vulnerable position children and young people need the truth and have those difficult conversations that neurotypicals try not to avoid. I do get quite tired from my job though, but I am in a very fortunate position that I stumbled upon the place I work currently as a student and are (for the most part) quite accepting of neurodivergence as we work with many diagnosed and undiagnosed neurodivergent children/young people. The Royal college of nursing are making guidelines to help neurodivergent people within the workforce as one of my lectures say WE NEED THEM, as we understand so many different ways of communication than just verbally, so the conversation around neurodivergence is definitely starting to change in the workplace and healthcare❤
Im a single mother living in a rural area and I find I align with aspergers syndrome and maybe some adhd. I find it to be an absolute struggle to find employment that can empathize with my basic needs. I feel like I won't be able to get proper accommodations until i get diagnosed as disabled, which is total bullshit.
Not autistic, but have ADHD. The struggle of the interview is REAL. I never know what to do or what to say, always end up sounding awkward and weird. The one job I managed to land, it was because I was able to record my answers ahead of time rather than speak my mind live and in-person. I've had almost 20 years of work experience at this point in my life, and yet I can't ever seem to sell my skills or knowledge to people. I have a degree in IT but don't have a job in that field, and I doubt I ever will. Not only because of my gender, but because of my inability to put on a fake professional face when I'm in front of another human being. You're not alone out there, writer.
So. I’m 37. Only diagnosed this year. I’ve got a nursing bachelors and history bachelors degree and now I’ve finally found my place and my people. I’ve gone into forensic science and I’m about halfway through my bachelor’s degree. Took a lot of time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I even did a masters in documentary filmmaking. But then spent the pandemic taking PCR tests and volunteering as a vaccinator. Which made me think of doing something that involved science. I love watching forensic science tv programmes so thought of making that my life. And I’m glad I did because life has never felt so right. I fell in with a bunch of other neurodivergent people who all understand each other. So, don’t be worried about doing a lot of trial and error. I was worried having AuDHD would make me a bad fit for forensics but it turned out that my personal tutor is also ND, apparently it’s actually an asset as we think in slightly different ways and we notice things and “think outside the box”. I also get a carer to come in twice a day to help with the household stuff. I want people to have faith in themselves and don’t be so hard on themselves. There is a reason you were put on this planet. I believe things happen when they are supposed to. Keep your heads up and be proud of yourself for achieving what you have done.
Meg, you’re a beautiful asset to the world. You’ve changed my life for the better. 🫶🏻
I’ve been on disability for more than ten years. I cannot tolerate the chaotic environments of many jobs especially entry level jobs. I dissociate in those environments, feeling spacey and like I’m floating and not quite in my body. I don’t know that it’s due to my autism. When I tried to get help, a long time ago when I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism, I was told by a psychiatrist that I couldn’t be dissociative because I didn’t have enough of what they considered to be trauma, so they told me that they thought I was developing schizophrenia. At the time I hadn’t met anyone who was doing well with schizophrenia so I panicked. It didn’t help that they actually said, “We’re waiting to see if you get worse.” Well I never developed schizophrenia but they didn’t have any other answers for me.
They suggested mindfulness but I just couldn’t do that in such fast paced chaotic environments. I wasn’t able to keep working. I got on disability pretty easily at least though. I went back to school and had a work study job preparing books for publication at the university press but that ended when I graduated. Vocational rehab helped me find what I call a “unicorn job” where I could work independently on a computer at my own pace. However it was a graveyard shift job with no opportunity to switch to day shift, and that schedule was detrimental to my mental health as a not-yet- diagnosed bipolar. So it didn’t last.
I’ve been on disability since then. I volunteered in peer support at a psychiatric hospital for six years and got certified but I was turned down for a paid position there because I have been out of the workforce for so long. I didn’t even get an interview. And they say to volunteer to get experience and use that experience to cover gaps in your resume but it didn’t help. I tried applying for other peer support positions but never heard back from any of them.
At this point I’m discouraged that I’ll ever work again and it probably isn’t in my best interest anyway since I’m able to get by on disability. Autism isn’t what I got on disability for. I’m guessing it was because it had in my chart that I was developing schizophrenia. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until eight years ago when I was 36. So my age at this point would be another barrier to employment.
I can relate. It is particularly frustrating that services will gladly use disabled people to do unpaid work but will employ others to do the same or near same role on a paid basis.
how do u get on disability easily??? Ssdi is one of the hardest things to apply for
Yeah why should they get free labour?@@camellia8625
The amount of emotional outburst because I was over stimulated , the way I allowed myself to be easy manipulated by others , I would work circles because I would take commands from everyone including my peers . I just wanted to work and I ended up working my job and 3 others and by the time I had the courage to speak up people were used to me doing it so I was now the issue . I’m looking into accounting or something more quieter if you guys think it’s a good thing let me know
I love watching Meg’s videos because they make me feel seen. I also love the literal stock videos that are placed throughout the video (an example being when she said “burnt out” it showed burnt toast).
The fact that we nd people tend to be very honest and not huge fans of embellishing stories can be a huge downfall for the job hunt I think. Like the person in the email: playing down the job they did / giving a realistic impression where other people would embellish it to sound like relevant job experience
The RSD is very crippling when job hunting. I tell myself that I'm prepared to be rejected, even if I think the interview went good, but every single time I get that rejection e-mail this intense dread just fills my entire body that stays for days. Panic attacks included. I just get so frustrated about not being able to speak for myself properly, to show them the good criticisms I've had during my work life, how even though I'm masking with full force I've been told that I'm a super nice person to talk to and get help from. Just because bosses only want references from other bosses, I'm stuck with only having my worst sides shown to new jobs. Every single boss I've had has given me verbal warnings during my employment just bc I did something incorrect when not being told properly how to do it. At those times I didn't have my diagnosis evaluated yet so I had nothing to defend myself with other than my own words, but it's extremely scary as an autistic person to be called out like that when all you've tried to do is just do your job properly. Unfortunately I've gotten PTSD from my previous worklife, which makes job hunting even harder when doing it on my own. I've tried to reach out to constitutions that helps unemployed people get a foot in, but just because I'm currently studying they can't do shit. I've never had a part time job in combination with studies before and I have no idea how to get one either... Everything just feels extremely unfair and I don't know how we're just expected to deal with shit like this
Oh my gosh "I got PTSD from my previous work"....yeah no, you're literally invalidating REAL PTSD from such a statement. Tell me, could you say such a thing with a straight face in front of a veteran soldier? Or a victim of abuse? An orphan? Etc.
I’m 22, recently diagnosed with autism, and starting to feel consistently burnt out at work. I know something needs to change, but I’m so afraid that I’ll end up somewhere worse because so far I’ve had bad luck with work environments. I’ve had seven different jobs in the span of three years. They all start out exciting and supportive- the problems begin once I have a handle on the job. I usually get bored and stressed because it’s not “new” anymore, end up overworking for other employees and have more and more responsibility put on me, then realize my requests are ignored, I’m underpaid, tired, and afraid of retaliation. The first couple times I made mistakes long enough that they decided to let me go, but once I fixed that, the overburdening began. I struggle a lot with setting boundaries, and at some point, a coworker or supervisor notices and makes my life hell. I start to wonder why I’m held to such high standards, and rebuffed for behavior like “not clocking in 30 minutes early” (I found out later this might have been illegal?), “using my whole lunch break,” “switching my one (partial) day off to a different day,” “needing the hospital for addiction” (illegally fired but there was a loophole), “making mistakes because someone else actively interfered with my work,” etc.
I usually keep next to open availability, speak kindly/professionally to everyone, arrive early, clock in on time, and rarely call in sick. I’m often praised for exceptionally hard work. And so far the thanks I get is being pushed harder than I can stand and being ignored when it all gets too much. And now I’m supposed to successfully find a not-hell job? I hope I can; I find it exhausting and scary. At least I’m used to my current hell.
Im older than you, and I feel the same way. Good work gets punished with more work. Bad work gets punished with job loss. A new job could be better, OR much worse. Its hard, and its not fair. I hope you find something that allows you to thrive ❤
Thank you for making this video. I don't have autism but another disability and have been job hunting for almost three years. Reading the comments I realize Iam not alone in this. It's like the job market isn't designed for disabled people and if you don't fit in the societal mold of "normal" you shouldn't even bother applying. At last count I was at over 1000 applications. Thank you for sharing this video and being real about the struggles of trying to find decent employment.
I am good friends with a NYT best selling author. I asked her for help in the process of writing and she says she always has a plan and knows what she wants the ending to be and writes an outline for the book before she even starts writing. She says that it's normal to go off track, or have the characters seem to have minds of tjejr own and do what they want, so she can just let that happen and then edit later if it doesn't fit in or work at all.
The idea that most people have about writers sitting down and putting pen to paper and out comes a book after they have furiously scribbled for 8 hours a day for weeks or months, that is a fantasy probably created by some author who wanted everyone to think he was some kind of god-level genius so that no one would try to outdo him and everyone would fawn.
I dropped out before getting my associates degree (which in the US is halfway between graduating high school and finishing a four-year degree at university), and that filled me with so much self loathing. Associates degrees for most people are, like, this minor part of getting a degree that they don't even think about before it arrives in the mail, and for me it's this thing that I aspire to get one day.
I'll get it, though, one day
I completely understand! I left a Master degree and I have always been so frustrated about it. I had taken a leave of absence and wanted to return part-time, because I was working full-time too. The university said my reasoning wasn't good enough so I left. I had already been burning myself out (effectively studying full-time) beforehand trying to prepare to return. I want to go back eventually, but next time I am going to do it all part-time. I have realised I can't cope with a full-time course, I struggle to do 2 essays a term as I fixate on one and don't give enough time for the other.
Thank you so much for bringing up the point about companies being overly vague about what they want! I feel like I'm supposed to be a mind reader. I've been to three job interviews recently where they were so unclear and I only found out 2-3 interviews in that the job I was applying for was completely different from what was advertised.
The job hunt sucks worse for autistic people. I’m almost 50 and can count on both hands the number of interviews I’ve had. I’ve been through numerous books, tips, professional employment “help” places, etc., and they’re still that rare.
At Every job I’ve managed to get, I always get tons of extremely positive feedback from employers and customers. Just can’t get enough people to give me the chance.
We are also dealing with a epidemic of narcissistic abuse as children abused an neglected by numb and bitter parents.
I would be proud if you were my daughter.
NVLD not Autism but: I feel like I'm super bad at ALL of the skills for basic entry level jobs like waiting tables or fast food or whatever, but I'm really good at super specific things, but it's hard find entry level jobs for those things. And then on top of that, my disability prevented me from driving for a long time, and I live in a rural area with no public transportation and driving is a requirement for life. So now that I can drive, it's like... I just feel like people see that I have no experience, and since I'm in my 20s, they think it's because there's something wrong with me that makes people not want to work with me or something, when it's really mostly because I just couldn't get a licence until I was 21. Also ALL of my experience and skills are in one specific area so it's hard to apply for stuff outside of that because I just have nothing. I hope that changes once I finish my degree... but it's a degree I can't do anything with until I get a master's. Which I want to do! But I need to get a job in the meantime 😅 I am just bad at everything outside of my interest area and I'm currently volunteering and getting experience but it's, well, in my interest area. I wish I were extroverted and social and good at people-ing and good in fast-paced environments and could just take any random job for experience. Also don't get me started on how everyone is "desperately hiring" but unless you have a PhD and 18 years experience they just ghost you.
Oh man! So much good stuff in this video!
I can confirm that finding a job at a non profit that you care deeply about is incredibly fulfilling. I had been volunteering at my nonprofit for over two years when a job opening came up, I applied, and I got it. Now I've been working there for four years. The fact that I already knew people there and they knew me made the interview much less stressful than it otherwise could have been. And they had already seen what I could do. I'm very happy with my job, and even when I'm exhausted at the end of the day, I'm still eager to go back the next day. It is good to feel that I am making a difference in people's lives.
(Before this, I mostly worked jobs that really anybody could get. I was a Starbucks barista for many years.)
As a self diagnosed Autistic fae with multiple other disorders; Interviews are scary. Just the idea of talking with someone i don't know one on one makes me want to shrivel up and die. It makes me feel like they are watching me trying to find the traits of my neurodivergence; and it's scary and anxiety inducing to try and hide yourself and just hope they don't noticed anything. I wish anyone autistic or not the best of luck in interviews - Evan (The host)
I’m a daycare/preschool teacher, the kids are a handful sometimes but I can manage them easily and the routine daily schedules are great but with different project and activities on a regular basis to keep the adhd side of my brain occupied without having too much change to upset me. The hard part is working with other teachers on a regular basis and their attitudes toward me and how they can get stressed and then get snippy and disrespectful, it can be a lot to deal with. Right now I’m forced to be a floater despite basically begging the office to put me in a permanent room so I would be with the same kids and same teachers who I know I could work with regularly but they keep saying there’s no openings so I have to float to cover in all the rooms with other teachers that everyone else has complained about and doesn’t want to work with. They’ve basically made me the work bully babysitter instead of teacher, which is why I’m changing to a different childcare center soon, I debated leaving the field but idk what else I would be able to do and enjoy and I love working with children.
Idk man. I wouldn't advise to do free labor for a company before they hire you. I straight up don't apply if they ask for something and they won't pay me those hours.
This. Unpaid Internships are a scam
47 never had a meaningful job with a future. life is hell. poverty creates mental illness. there was time in my life where I could have been great for a job. now im just trauma wrapped in trauma.
hello - similar unfortunately ... a fellow sufferer checking in
I’m not diagnosed with autism, however, I have a lot of the same challenges as someone who does. This is a good point. I think people with autism have trouble finding a job because they have trouble when it comes to body language, in addition to having very little to no connections in life. it’s good to have skills and other qualifications for whatever job you’re considering however, I have truly noticed from my experience and others that having connections in life have a significant influence on if you could land the job of your dreams.
I had to be self-employed and even that was hard. Fortunately, I live in a state that is not as controlling as other states here in the USA, so I could try my various income ideas without a lot of government hassles. I did have a few temporary jobs during slow times but they always seemed like I was serving a prison sentence and couldn't wait till the day I could leave for good.
I'm 31 now, and i had put off getting a job for as long ad possible. I was 24(i think) when i got my first job. Currently i'm feeling burnt out from being on someone else's schedule for the last 5 years at the same job. It's so bad that i just never want to get out of bed unless i know that i don't have obligations to other people that day. I'm now searching to change jobs and i feel so sick about it. Like i'm failing and i know that i'm doing what's best for me. I also feel like i can't talk with anyone i see in my daily life about it. It sucks..
I'm 49 years old. I hold an Master of Business Administration degree and graduated at the top of my class with a 3.9 GPA (in the US). Every job I have had since I started working at the age of 15 has been traumatic and ended with me quitting in severe burnout, unable to do anything for months afterwards. I applied for disability three times and was denied. Finally I developed ME/CFS, which seems to be fairly common among autistic people (from anecdotal evidence). I am totally bedridden, and I finally qualify for disability.
how do u prove something like cfs? seems like a syndrome that could be diagnosed as a myriad of other things
@@debutchi read the research. That's how you prove it. If you haven't read anything about it, how can you say there's no proof? Groundbreaking research released 9/23 indicates that it's a mitochondrial disorder.
@@debutchi and how do you prove autism? With a blood test? ME/CFS has biological markers. It's just no one can comprehend the idea that medical science has progressed in the last 30 years, and that nothing new has been discovered. Personally, I find that idea intellectually embarrassing. With the amount of gaslighting adult autistic people get from healthcare professionals, I am shocked to see something like this here.
www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/index.html
You can use the diagnostic criteria, proposed by the Institute of Medicine if reading research isn't up your alley. The information is out there.
I'm curious, off the top of your head, how do you prove something like Parkinson's? Isn't it more a collection of symptoms than a real disease?
@@CricketGirrl interesting!
I am 41 and have never had a job. At 38 I was diagnosed with ASD. At 40 I finally got a bachelor degree in Archival Science. That took me a lot longer than it does for others. Because what does those degrees depend on? Thesis writing. It worked, finally, in archival science about two years later than my original classmates, when I was combined with a supervisor that actually got autism, and could give me advices that directly lead to me finally getting a stamp of completion on that class. The other part of my program contained another subject, which I am currently having problems with. Probably not going to finish that class, or program, since I got my degree by combining archival science with a lot of random other subjects I have studied at university level. My problems were that I simply didn't get what they (teachers and supervisors) meant when criticizing my texts. Especially in a particular subject (that I still haven't completed) - they said a lot of words, and I tried writing the thesis the way the way they told me to. Apparently it wasn't the way they wanted me to write it, though. Neurotypical people suck at saying what they actually mean.
Anyhow, it's not easy. If you are lucky, you get the right help from the right kind of person. I have a degree (after much pain and frustration), but that hasn't helped thus far with me getting a job. Could I get a job in another area? Maybe, but then I would get a mental breakdown in six months or less. Going to keep trying, though.
Also, I have been unemployed for most of my life. In my country, they tend to put those of us that are unemployed for a long time through several different "helpful" programs. I have gone through so many of those that I've lost count by now. Also helped me to completely lose faith in the unemployment place, but anyway. One of those programs though, really did a thorough investigation of the persons in their program. What was I interested in and such, what my strengths and weaknesses were, and then looked for...don't know what to call it in English...a place or two where I could try out that work for a week or two. Kind of like internship, but not quite. One of those places was an archive. Now, I didn't end up being places there, but something about it simply clicked with me. That's why I ended up studying archival science at all. Also ended up at that place for the internship part of my education. Clicked even more then. Really clicked with the people there. Wish they had the finances to actually employ anyone.
Most people don't get a job aligned with their degree. Add autism, and it's rather bleek. Your money and time are probably better spent outside of school.
I've always seen employment as babysitting for neurotypical people. Fortunately I've tended to live in places where I could scavenge quite a lot and get by living well for minimial money. But that's a job in and of itself.
I really needed this video, I have autism and struggle with a slew mental health issues. I want to work and I can not only work but thrive if given the right opportunity and accomodations. I'm not trying to be lazy or ask for more than I deserve, I'm requesting needed services to aid in my success and happiness. I hope there are more opportunities and help available to those like me, thanks for the video! 💙
I'm not even autistic but I can still relate to so much of what everyone shared
half a year ago I got fored from a pretty prestigious workplace after wasting 3 months trying to get in, only to get fired after a week
it took me MONTHS to recover, and find the courage to find another work, that is a lot easier and simpler and I can handle, it was so hard for me to get over the shame I had but really I had to find what is it that I can actually handle away from society standards and family pressure....Idk if this means anything for anyone but yeah
I’ve been unemployed for 3 years now. This video kind of puts things into perspective.
So, I used to feel like a total schlub because I couldn't get a job, and I started watching content like A Life After Layoff... and I realized that it takes a lot of finesse to write a resume correctly, and a lot of interviews to land something. This is normal. Best of luck!
I’m autistic and I got a job where I wade into chaos and apply the prescribed rules to the situation, and the chaos and personal difficulty doesn’t affect me; my goal is find the particular facts needed to decide which rules to apply.
The wake-up call came later when I had similar personal difficulties and realized I wasn’t any different than the people in the chaotic situations
Currently stuck in a crummy retail job, but it finally occurred to me recently that I shouldn't be basing my self-worth and sense of success on my career, because I'm not happy in the American job market. So I'm using the job I have now to fund a travel trailer, which'll be followed by me buying a patch of land, and building for myself a life that won't require me to work nearly as hard - if even at all. These systems aren't meant for people like me, and I'm at peace with that now.
I had never gotten a job through an interview. The only reason I ever had employment was cause they needed warm bodies with qualifications.
My mother tells me not to worry about it, but she was always the one (and my older sister) who would tell me what I did wrong whenever we would attend any social gatherings.