Porn Addiction Is Misunderstood: How To Actually Stop - Dr. K Healthy Gamer
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- čas přidán 11. 05. 2023
- Dr. K aka HealthyGamerGG discusses why porn addiction is often misunderstood. Why does Dr. K think Porn addiction has nothing to do with sex? How do people get addicted to porn in the first place according to Healthy Gamer? What are some methods HealthyGamerGG has seen work for recovering porn addicts?
#healthygamer #nofap #pornaddiction
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You asked - we made it happen! Full episode goes live with Dr K this Monday - press Subscribe you beauties.
Good video you beauty
You tease. I want the full version, jk. Got arouse and then fufill. basic buisness model
im so glad you brought on dr k. this man has genuinely changed me from a lifestyle perspective. i cant wait to see him enter more of the mainstream side of podcasting and youtube
Where do you buy your plain tshirts? what is the brand?
Here's the Islamic perspective:
In islam this dark force and "whispers" is the voice of satans/demons. There are many satans/demons amongst man and jinn, varying in power.
But there is only one "iblis" (he is the original Satan that approached Adam and eve, (may peace be upon them).
He has sworn revenge and eniminity towards humanity until the final day.
This life is a test to see who repels evil with love/good/patience having believed in God. And follow God's guidance and avoid sin and whispers of iblis/satans.
In addition to this our souls (rhuu) have the ability to do both good and bad without the whispers.
God tells us to take the path of goodness. The part of our soul that lends ear to desire and weakness and excess love for this worldly things, is called the "nhaffs".
When one battles with his nhaffs to do good while a believer they are fulfilling the purpose of their creation.
The jinn reside in the filthiest of places. In the home those places are usually the bin or toilet. Guess where the tissue goes after watching po**?
This way they gain access to ur seed. The life forming best part of u. And u give it away cheaply for a fleeting pleasure.
When this happens a type of magic takes effect and this can amplify their whispers to u. Possibly causing low self-esteem, anxiety, paranoia, self doubt, fear.
Notice that distinction sense of guilt, shame, embarrassment straight after PMO.
If u were interested this is just a perspective. You are feel to believe and explore as u will. Providing its legal.
Peace
"When a person can't find a sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure" Viktor E Frankl
"And when you can't find either, one sublimates their life away into finding meaning" - Me.
Let's get real P### IS NOT THE PROBLEM, alcohol is not, neither sugar, nor weed. U name it,
SELF control 😅
best comment
"When a person can't find a sense of meaning, they make their pleasure a meaning." - Me
thats common sense how is that a quote
Porn should be illegal.
It’s not cuz they want us to be addicted lol
You and me both
@@evanmorse8778 that’s the same reason why everything else that’s addictive is legal. Take it from me, a person who is voluntarily excluded from gambling in four states… Making something illegal or putting personal legal consequences on your use of that thing does not make you want to use it less. You have to do the internal work to put yourself in a better mind state.
Even if it was, in the age of the internet, it would pretty much be impossible to keep it out of people’s hands if they want it.
I don't think it should be illegal as people deserve their rights and unlike substance abuse doesn't cause physical harm to others. It's use anyway. Can't speak about its production. However something should absolutely be done. Education if anything.
I'm 42 yrs old now. I've Been a heavy addict since I was 16, 3 years ago, I Lost my wife and daughter because of heavy porn use . the guilt almost killed me, so I said enough and decided to escape from this shithole. I read a ton of books (the only one that changed me was "Befapless" because it had the most realistic steps for quitting), joined communities(like "r/nofap"), and gave it all to quit.
.
I'm clean for 3 years now. I feel regret every day about the time that passed.
I wasted my life. I wish I hadn't. God, I wish I hadn't.
If you're young reading this, please do anything at all necessary to overcome this ASAP!
What tipp helpef you the most? I realiced I tried no fap but then porn use increased.
Have you fixed the relationship with your family? God bless you sir I hope it has fixed.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
I saw thiis on reddit on pornfree
You haven't wasted your life. There's a lot of things you still need to live, so not everything is lost.
Even though you suffered a lot in the past, you did your best to eliminate that pain: you have quit porn and masturbation, two habits that are usually problematic and affect a lot of people to this day.
Don't look that much to your past, enjoy your present! I hope you have a fantastic life.
I’m 23 and have watched porn ever since I was around 10 years old. The past few years I’ve struggled immensely with motivation and have struggled with anxiety and depression. Only now am I realising the damage this addiction is actually doing to me.
I can’t believe porn is normalised when it literally effects the brain the same way many drugs do with create an absurdly high dopamine spike followed by a drop that is below baseline. I’m only on day 5 right now of not watching it but I already feel more clear minded and less ashamed of myself!
Keep it up bro
Same goes here, on day 6.
Can you believe near the end of the video they where saying its a problem that we dont want porn normalized?
You still going bro? Keep going strong!
Same! I was exposed to porn at the age of 12.
A classmate in elementary school introduced me to porn, anal sex porn for that matter. It has now traumatized my brain like never before. After anal sex got boring, at the age of 15, I started watching a genre called sloppy blowjobs to get a new dopamine high.
It has just been downward spiral up until I was age 19. I started slowing down on porn consumption.
Age 23 now, one month clean from porn, 40% to a Bachelor’s in CyberSecurity, lost healthy weight, confident, my communication skills has improved.
Great talking with you, thank you for the conversation 💚
Big love man
I genuinely saw this and gasped! This was the collab I'd thought in my mind would be awesome and it actually happened!
Love your content - working through your Guide.
GG.
Dr. K! I found you recently and you have AWESOME material that is so relevant for the modern world and it’s challenges.
Thank you!
Here's the Islamic perspective:
In islam this dark force and "whispers" is the voice of satans/demons. There are many satans/demons amongst man and jinn, varying in power.
But there is only one "iblis" (he is the original Satan that approached Adam and eve, (may peace be upon them).
He has sworn revenge and eniminity towards humanity until the final day.
This life is a test to see who repels evil with love/good/patience having believed in God. And follow God's guidance and avoid sin and whispers of iblis/satans.
In addition to this our souls (rhuu) have the ability to do both good and bad without the whispers.
God tells us to take the path of goodness. The part of our soul that lends ear to desire and weakness and excess love for this worldly things, is called the "nhaffs".
When one battles with his nhaffs to do good while a believer they are fulfilling the purpose of their creation.
The jinn reside in the filthiest of places. In the home those places are usually the bin or toilet. Guess where the tissue goes after watching po**?
This way they gain access to ur seed. The life forming best part of u. And u give it away cheaply for a fleeting pleasure.
When this happens a type of magic takes effect and this can amplify their whispers to u. Possibly causing low self-esteem, anxiety, paranoia, self doubt, fear.
Notice that distinction sense of guilt, shame, embarrassment straight after PMO.
If u were interested this is just a perspective. You are feel to believe and explore as u will. Providing its legal.
Peace
Dr K is the best! Harvard trained Dr, Yogi and Gamer who has insights that beat most Drs
I’m 26 days into quitting porn, it’s wreaked havoc on my ability to intimate with someone and has been such a source of shame/brain fog/diminishing self respect over the years.
My head is so much clearer at the moment and I actually respect myself for the first time in my life
Keep going it’s worth it!
W
I quit years ago. I've now realized just how much coping goes into justifying its use. Now I'm totally against its use in many aspects. It's so weird, like it was brain washing.
@@DoubleOhSilver Yeah, makes you wonder what else is programmed into our brains huh
Godspeed in your journey 🙏
Wow, he hit it right on the head. I noticed that when I gave up pornography I was also forced to confront many issues in my personal life that I was avoiding through porn.
1:54 absolutely correct. I told someone one time, I have very little support group to break my porn addiction. I said, "If I told you I was trying to beat a heroin addiction, you'd be immediately empathetic"
A lot of my friends even bring up situations that can trigger it. It's hard to find groups that will even understand it, let alone support you.
I feel for you but the thing is you've just made that up. Actual drug addicts do get some empathy, as do porn addicts. But there are a huge contingent of people who just say "shouldn't of done drugs then" and leave it at that
@@stefanmirica6485you are so right
Check out an SAA meeting. There is support, fellowship, and a solution
Guys, I have a crippling prawn addiction. Just the other day, I was driving down the freeway when I saw a sign for red lobster. I nearly took the exit, but I stayed strong. Haven't touched prawn in three months. I'm doing this for myself as well as my family. I'm tired of living shellfishly.
Okay okay....high effort Dad pun of the year appreciated 😊
😂😂😂
Unexpected second pun made this good.
Prawn hub
😂😂
As an addict for over 2 decades and now 10 years in recovery from neurological addictive patterns from fantasy and porn addiction, I can vouch this is more powerful than substance abuse
Have you been a drug addict?
My dude, have you seen crack whores? Or meth heads?
lil bro, having "fantasies" isn't something you recover from. Bad thoughts don't exist, it's completely natural and normal to have immoral thoughs. Acting on them is a different story.
@@therealzizmon1748 Idiot
@@therealzizmon1748 porn addicts see people as sex objects first and foremost. Often regardless of their age or gender. That’s not normal or healthy and definitely something that can be changed.
My goodness, thank you for this response, it's a breath of fresh air from the types of people that get completely puritanical about the way these addictions function.
Speaking the truth from childhood trauma, stress, lack of self worth
Great guest. He's extremely understanding and not condescending at all. Been subscribed to him for more than a year and a half. Amazing insight.
Who cares if it’s condescending? Do you want your life back or not?
@@sssweetnesss3483 not really.
@@sssweetnesss3483, he said “ he is NOT condescending”.
This hits home so bad...I've been an addict since I was probably 11 or 12, and I have been experiencing all the issues brought up. Thanks for bringing these up and making me understand my issues better, as well as now attempting at solving them.
I was addicted to porn unknowingly since I was 12 till last year at 34. I have a long road ahead to re-wire my brain but I am already seeing benefits such as actually feeling emotions, better outlook on life just to name a few.
Can I email you or get in contact with you somehow
were u a gooner
@@zou8492 no I wasn’t a goner in the sense of being completely consumed by porn but I use to watch it religiously before going to bed. The time watching could vary from 5 mins to an hour, keep trying to get more explicit content to feed my dopamine.
@@rorinotengo173 yes of course you can
@@gearoidmcsweeney6234 how
I love how articulate Dr K is. Always a pleasure to listen to.
Right, i completely agree. I have watched him for a while as well, but this is the first video I see of Chris, ever. Man, I gotta say the opposite of your comment is true for this guy. While Dr K articulates himself perfectly and you understand everything he wants to convey, you can't even understand the QUESTION Chris is posing. How can you not articulate a QUESTION when a man on the other side is busting himself to answer and help people?
How pleasurable was it? Could you tell us? Use as much detail as possible and type slowly.
@jessicaras4540Yeah, no. Don’t do this. Grew up one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and it just made me feel like shit whenever I’d relapse, not only am I failing myself, but God’s going to damn me.
Holy shit this is a crossover I didn't even expect. I've been watching Dr K for like 3 years and he's helped me tremendously. Really looking forward to the entire episode coming out!
Honestly, he's been one of the most requested guests by you guys so we had to make it happen. The episode is 2 hours long and absolute MONEY. One of my favourites this year. Pepper your angus.
Couldn’t agree more
@@ChrisWillx Thank you for making it happen. His community is genuinely one of the best, most accepting online communities I've found.
I found him first (his longform interviews with regular people are his BEST work) last year and then Jordan Peterson. I've hoped for the two to talk to each other in camera since.
@@ChrisWillxdude please podcast with Dr Trish leigh
The big problem with being addicted to porn, is that it's literally free and available everywhere on the internet. Imagine if someone struggling with alcohol could get free drinks all the time, then that person would probably never quit because they don't need to pay anything. This is a serious issue when fighting a severe porn addiction and it needs to be addressed with governments and internet providers around the world.
Absolutely. One momentary slip up of the wrong type of thoughts and you can relapse before u know it. I’ve been an on and off addict for years now for this reason.
I looked on Fight the New Drug, and one thing that might help is knowledge that the porn industry is notorious for abusive practices toward workers. There is no guarantee that it's been ethically produced. It took the major credit card companies cutting off Porn Hub for it to delete a ton of its stuff.
Not only that, but you actually need technology for your everyday life, which would be the equivalent of needing to carry a bottle of Jim Beam to work if you're an alcoholic.
Using something like Covenant Eyes would help.
Look at it this way: I pay my time, my mental and physical health, I pay my life.
As a therapist who works with men struggling with sexual behaviors, your podcast has been incredibly helpful and informative and I use relevant conversations in my work with them from time to time, so thank you!
@jessicaras4540we need a therapist for this person please ^
@jessicaras4540"Pretending God is reality works for some, but not all.
@jessicaras4540community helps
Women toooooooooo
Do you help women too?
Chris is on a RAMPAGE with these great guests!
Did not expect this awesome collaboration!!! Been listening to both creators for about 2 years now and honestly this has made my day!
I’ve had a pron addiction for about 3-4 years and I’ve combated it this year and am now 6 months clean, hopefully I can keep this up
awesome job, how did you stay clean for so long?
Good man
Bro howw?
@@dovidschecter8623 bro dont watch porns i swear there boring ass fuck play fifa mobile at night or watch movies go to Training its better for u...
@@dovidschecter8623follow Jesus Christ he wants the best for you
I really feel this is the first decent analysis of porn addiction I have encountered - and there are so many out there.
This is going to be by far one of the best episodes ever. Thank you so much for the content Chris!
I wish I wasnt exposed to it when I was so young. I was super addicted before I even had capabilities to realize what an addiction is.
Well you can find a way to work through it now. If you haven't already. I also started rather early and honestly I needed it to survive. Why did you start, what were you dealing with, what are you dealing with now.
I am 17, and was exposed to it at like 14. I should have been more intelligent to avoid. I regret it so much.
@@Aurora-bv1ys that kind of attitude is going to cause you a lot of problems bro. Don’t hate yourself for it. Accept what happened and understand it.
@@coollary1 You know, you're right. I'll won't be bitter, rath I'll be better
@@Aurora-bv1ys keep watching doctor K, and meditate. Dude serious. Meditate
Thank you for having your sponsor add at the end of the video, legend !
This explanation is so spot-on. People smoke pot to excess out of a sense of meaninglessness. It’s the same with any other coping mechanism where the person feels horribly ‘stuck.’
agreed.
Sickest crossover. You're covering everyone man, I love it. Keep it coming!
The most interesting and useful interviews are the ones in which you hear and learn something you have not heard or considered before. This interview fits into that category. Dr K is also a good speaker.
Maybe the best video on porn addiction I've seen. Keep up the great work!
Low self esteem is at the core of porn addiction.
Doc was spot on here
Very exited for this episode, really like Dr. K's insight on a lot of things!
Chris you legend you read my mind getting him on. Healthy gamer has been on my recommended and I know you’ll ask the right questions in the full pod.
Thankyou for this conversation ❤
Thank you for doing this interview Chris. This was a fascinating perspective on the reality of Porn, Shame & Guilt.
Having followed both of you for a long time, my brain scrambled a little when it cut from you asking a question to Dr K responding to it. Love to see Dr K branching out into podcasts to hopefully spread the message about mental health more broadly.
No way this collab happened!! Much love to you and Dr. K.
I’ve quit all kinds of drugs and quitting porn is more difficult. It’s not as complex as explained in this video - it literally just feels so effing good for free, that’s why it’s so addictive. The withdrawal symptoms (inability to focus, demotivation, irritability, etc) last a long time and we don’t tend to associate them to the porn use. There needs to be a cultural shift if we are to more effectively help people suffering because of this « super stimulus ». Thanks for the video. ❤
Man, this was 🔥🔥🔥. Watch what we eat and discipline yourself. Brother, I am a firm believer in that. How can we overcome the devil and we are sloppy and can’t stop eating donuts? GREAT STUFF!!!!!
This whole video was a gem. Very insightful to know what is the #1 trigger for p*** usage (meaninglessness). However, that little moment from 11:51 until 12:23 is golden. The fact that society is moving more towards removal vs getting better at dealing with things. Can't wait for the whole video. This is awesome !
I highly recommend the book “The Importance of Suffering” by James Davies.
@@arnoldcantu9583 thanks for the rec ! I'll give it a try
Yeah, thats a very fleeting part of the video but is something that far too many people need to hear and understand. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it is inherently bad or should be banned. We live in a strange time where some of the people who preach tolerance and acceptance are some of the most closed minded people you could hope to meet and they don't see the contradiction.
He is spot on about everything. I was molested at age 7 by my nanny and at 13 I discovered pron lol ohhhhhhhhhh boy. where I was spending hours outside using that as a distraction, not eating, just being outside all day, after discovering pron, I was always inside. I was spending something like 6 hours a day using pron trying to numb those feelings.
Although i've lost many many years to pron i have no regrets, that's just how life is, we all get dealt a card in this life and now i'm making the most of whatever time I have left.
If you're young and wondering if you should quit or not, i would say first figure out what is the underlying issue that causes you to even seek out pron, video games, and other distractions to NUMB your feelings in the first place. What you trying to run away from? if you say 'nothing' well that's what I would've said when i was your age. You are running away from, it doesn't have to be as big as being molested, or civil war like me, it can be bullying, it can be neglect from your parents, it can be just being a teenager. I don't know but you should investigate and spend some time with yourself ALONE instead of trying to run away from yourself so much.
Hope this helps.
Dude it really hit me in the head, when he said the people addicted to porn have been experienced porn before puberty.
Could have been my story with a few alterations, my teen cousin’s were my babysitters, around 4-5 yrs old, and they introduced the porn at that time. Boy did that mess me up, then my middle aged brother in law manipulated me into a sexual relationship the summer before I turned 12. I’ve struggled with what I see as severe perversion since, given the strict moral code found within the Catholic faith that I grew up in. Due to the sex of my abusers I was sickened by males, despite having romantic feelings towards them, but sexually I am only attracted to feminine women. It has been one of my most difficult trials…❤
That's true. I lived in rural America up to my early 20s. I would play video games so much because there was just nothing productive or fun to do that wasn't to get constantly drunk or high. I've been living with my parents for the last 3 years again due to pandemic-related reasons and so has my older brother -- I'm 31 he's pushing 40. My parents went on vacation for a couple of months and I don't have the best relationships with him, so I found myself escaping into video games after work. I felt like when I was younger all over again. I just felt so like, trapped.
As for porn, I don't use it as most people do but I think the amount I use is enough to affect me. I had moments where I got deep into it because for years it was touted as "healthy", smh. I think I usually do it when I'm feeling either lonely or when I'm alone and just horny -- sometimes it's been out of boredom. Lately I've been trying to pick up hobbies though, which makes so much damn sense that not having a feeling of purpose helps people get out of that addiction. I'd go as far as saying one needs purpose and an overall healthy lifestyle -- hobbies, relationships, and physically/mentally healthy activities. I was in college and pretty addicted to it, even though my purpose was school, had friends, but my physical/mental health was shitty due to stress and not working out.
I'm slowly making strides towards improving myself. I'm better where I was these past 3 years. It's very good to recognize the triggers.
Great words broski
@@joaquin67 Thank you bro, if I can give you some unsolicited advice, the reason you're both back in the same hosue isn't some coincidence lol i'm deeply spiritual, i'm not going to tell you what to do about it or how to do it but i know the universe doesn't create 'coincidences'. I'm sure you'll get there but pron should be the first thing you kick out. It opens the door to many many other changes, I know it did for me.
Just stumbled across this vid...I've struggled for a number of years and always tried to understand the pull of it. Never had a desire to use any drugs, I drink but am not an alcoholic, was addicted to food early in adolescence but that one thing has always captivated me since seeing it for the first time at 5 years old. At first I thought it was loneliness or rejection. This is the first time I've heard lack of purpose but, looking back, it really makes a lot of sense and even now in my middle aged years, still is true. This is really eye opening.
That's heavenly information. Thanks.
Nonjudgmental clarity about the stigma. Looking forward to the conversation and hopefully more collaborative content.
This was an unexpected guest, but a huuuge positive surprise!! Big fan of the healthygamer CULT
This video was wonderful. Thank you guys.
Love it. Thanks Dr gamer
I have been waiting for Dr K for a long time!!
I'm subscribed to both channels for a long time now. This collab has me shocked.
Most interesting video about the topic, i've ever seen on the internet. thx
This was incredibly insightful!
Holy shit! Doctor K and Chris ❤
Yay! Two of my favorite internet people!
Dr K keeping it real - as usual! 👏👏
Very educational video. Thank you.
Dr K might be my favorite CZcams channel (after hours of course). His videos are so interesting and, while not a replacement for a therapist, has been a great resource to go to when I’m down and out or have questions about anything involving therapy. So excited for this to come out
For all his "this isn't a replacement for therapy" - I spent hundreds on therapy in London, from a well known and reviewed therapist - and it was borderline useless compared to the value I've gotten from Dr.K. His videos, and particularly "Dr.K's Guide" are very solutions orientated. Thats what I needed - therapy might be helpful for some people, but this was much better for me personally.
@@The_Reductionist Therapy has become too oriented to just talking out your week's problems and not feeling guilty or lonely about them. That's why people like Jordan Peterson and now Dr. K have become so popular, SOLUTION-ORIENTED. It's very common nowadays for people to feel helpless and every day there's less need to eat well or meet people or even leave your house, so it's way easier to spiral down.
Its so cool to see two channels i follow collab
fantastic video. both really smart & articulate people
This was an insightful video!
Unlikely union but great stuff. Dr. K is someone is one of the only people I’ve found that is capable of giving you non “just do it” advice. Believe it or not, most people are not a at a loss for what they should do about their problems, most people are at a loss for how to consistently convince themselves to take the necessary action to solve them. Dr. K has a great purchase on why people people do what they do and bow you cam change your way of thinking and ultimately how you act.
@jessicaras4540 I asked God for help, that’s why I’m here.
@@ryanbailey8588i know right. God failed the task a long time ago 😅
this guy is a genius. glad he is getting more attention
he said men lived life on easy mode when it came to dating and also gave a really awful study about men "opening up" that was called out by several people in which they had to take down the video because it was just an all around awful video.
@@yeahright3901 where did he say this? I have a feeling it was much more nuanced than what you're presenting.
@@TheDezo0 he said this on a video addressing "incels of the community" and was talking about the dating scene.
And no. He said it word for word. Regardless of context saying that is inexcusable. He didn't even apologize for it and at best he said "we at healthy gamer arent the best at tackling gender problems".
Its just scummy and gross.
@@yeahright3901 kinda shocked and scared by the fact that most people don't understand how useless those online therapists are, it's literally an info-scums, same as all those celebrities with their "motivational" videos which all looks the same and very cliche and dumb
@@CamelliaFlingertit’s crazy because you actually whole heartily believe you’re right and you’re probably miserable. He’s helped me so it does help in a way, just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean everyone else is. If he doesn’t help you thne move on, stop leaving these comments.
I kicked vaping. I kicked weed. This is something else
I’m on day two. One at a time brother.
Let's see who's stronger I'm on the day 1@@DocMC86
@@DocMC86day one for me. How you doing
Good shit brother u got this
This is much harder
This was funny and mega interesting at the same time, thanks you very much 2 both of you for this content
This is an episode I can't wait to listen to
I have never heard of Dr. K... so thank you! I look forward to discovering even more!
You would love his channel.
Healthy Gamer GG.
heavy addict my entire life. it’s saving me. i’m not stopping
Keep this info coming
So true. It's a coping mechanism. It's also really difficult because women are so beautiful and sex is so amazing. The feeling of being sexually turned on is incredible. It's a very difficult thing to say no to. I think it's also connected to the desire for connection, attention, the desire for love, the desire for validation, etc. It's really connected to the feeling of needing to be satisfied in life. What REALLY sucks about it though is the fact that porn is so good sometimes that it's depressing. Youll never have what's happening on the screen. It makes you chase a rabbit you're never gonna catch and it makes you feel hopeless. And it makes you wish you had a woman in your life who acts like a porn star, and many women dont and never will. So it distorts everything.
Not only that, but the comparing yourself to the guys can make you feel inadequate, because often they are ripped, have a ton of stamina, and are very well endowed. Some guys can screw for hours without ejaculating and they can go like jack-rabbits for most of that time. I would lose it in five minutes at best, usually long before the woman felt satisfied.
It is indeed a very difficult desire to not succumb to, because how deep it's ingrained in our biology as humans to reproduce. But nonetheless there's a natural way to combat the desire. It has been shown that loneliness corelates very strongly to porn usage, hence why I myself am still struggling to quit. It's easier said that done, but try to prioritize social contact with whomever and if that's not possible, find meaning in other activities to fill your day so you won't get the urge as often and strong.
Then why you dont put that time and energy into getting real life women who look and fuck like that? Loooksmixing, game , social skills, using tinder and other apps, meeting women in real life ect. To actually moving towards your goal.
Hire prostitutes instead of desiring a girlfriend, this way she will be able to satisfy you like a porn-star, and unlike with having a girlfriend you will still have freedom
Well said.
Only the other day, I was hoping you would one day speak with each other. Very important video!
"The more that we remove Things the less tolerant we become"
Yoo that was soo bright!
"a man who lacks purpose will distract himself with pleasure"
find a purpose people!!!! i certainly am trying to find mine.
The most ambitious crossover I never thought I'd see
“It’s NO measure of health to be well adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society” . J Krishnamurti .
Well this was surprisingly fascinating
Spent over 2 decades addicted to porn. Could not beat it no matter what I did it was destroying me. Took a heroic 7g mushroom trip (psylocibin) about 2 1/2 months ago. Wrote my intentions beforehand and prayed over it. Haven’t looked at porn or haven’t even had the urge since that day. In fact the trip started with God telling me, “You aren’t addicted to porn, it’s done”. Most freeing feeling ever
I love Healthy Gamer! He speaks so well to young lost men.
This is the greatest crossover ever for real
Never been a believer of the nofap trend so I clicked this video very luckwarmly...been sitting in my tabs for 2 days.
But BOY am I glad I watched it !! So interesting and enlightening.
Some truths almost made me uncomfortable I as felt very called out but y'all are truly doing Lord's work with this one.
A much needed conversation, you guys can be proud of what you contribute to society on this topic.
I don't want to stop. I want more! Harder, bigger, faster, stronger!!
The “death grip” thing is no joke. Any man that says he has difficulty climaxing when with a woman is probably suffering from this. I’d bet everything I own on it.
I have no idea how a man can prefer his death grip hand to an actual real vagina. For me it's the exact opposite. Maybe that's why so many dudes are obsessed with butthole these days
My life motto has been "Real Men Don't Bust" and/or "Real Men Say No!" That way no woman can ever reject you if you don't express interest, and no woman can falsely accuse you of rape 37 years later if you don't put it in. C'mon bro. Porn use has become political!! Last time I climaxed with a woman was April 1, 2010. But I bet you I've orgasmed closer to 5,000 times since with OUT any need or participation from a woman. (aka: "the assholes of the world"). Not busting lets the woman know she has NO purchase or power over you. See, it's men chasing women who have become simps. It's pitiful. Women today have absolutely ZERO value and totally NOTHING to offer a man. A vagina?? Wow.
I mean, that's better than premature ejaculation. I'd venture to say it's the only positive part of porn use in men from the female satisfaction pov. I want to make it clear I think porn is one of the worst things people can get addicted to and nobody should be using porn too much and it's better to not use it at all.
That being said, we can all agree that one of women's biggest problems when they have sex with men is their inability to go for as long as women like them to go. You see a conversation between women with no judgement and they'll always mention that a lot of guys simply can't last. Whether it's ED or premature ejacultation, that's a big issue. So the ONLY good thing of all the effects porn has might be just that. If those guys don't already have ED, they can at least go for some time.
Even then though like I said, I want to be very clear that obviously that doesn't at all make it a positive to be addicted to porn or anything like that. I very obviously advice against it's use.
I had that problem, it was SSRI’s. Now im on the other end of the spectrum
Might sound hyperbolic, but Dr K is gods gift to humanity. Nobody compares when it comes to describing and helping with psychological issues online. He makes every other "coach" or self-help guru look like a charlatan.
Because he knows the science. Same thing with Jordan Peterson, people online were not used to that, it blew their mind. There is a difference between those who have read 100 books on productivity and those who studied the science behind it for decades
@@drchtct It's the science for sure, but both Peterson and Dr K are highly influenced by religion/tradition/spiritual practices as well. There is a lot of wisdom in those areas we cannot yet explain with science. This is where even many scientists fall short, imo.
@@okaySam True. Maybe I should have said they are very well educated, and combine spiritual wisdom with rigid science, and life experience. They have a deeper knowledge than the average 23-year old "I read the 4-hour work week" self-help guru who can only talk about the surface problems often times. That's what I wanted to express.
@@drchtct Agreed
@@drchtctStudied extensively and constantly, as well as had a large amount of experience.
It's the massive dopamine hit you get from porn viewing that makes it extremely difficult to stop. It took me years to finally overcome the urge. I'm still in recovery and the temptation is always there, but everyday that passes without me succumbing to the urge is a victory💪
The less tolerant we become smaller and smaller things can set us off.... This stuff just hit different when I think about my anger issues. Literally, ignoring anger is worst thing we can do as it will burst in the most bizzare way we can hardly imagine.
I was addicted to booze and I was addicted to porn, and it was MUCH easier to give up booze than porn to give you an idea.
Ya not for me. Much harder giving up crack and booze. I think it depends on the person.
@@filippians413 isn't crack on a league of it's own when compared to Alcohol? Like a league with all the best canonical hard drugs like meth, heroin and other like substances?
The crossever I never knew I so definitely needed
This was amazing my goodness
11:55 If I have a problem with something, our society is moving more and more towards "that thing needs to go away," as opposed to, "I need to get better at handling it." So the really scary cycle that I see is that the more that we remove things, the less tolerant we become, and then smaller and smaller things can set us off.
Something that may also make porn attractive in my opinion, is the lack of effort required. With porn, you can reach an orgasm without having to make ANY effort at all.
But with sex, EVEN if you have a partner, it still requires effort. There is the psychological effort of being on the same wavelength as your partner. There may be the pressure you put on yourself to please your partner. And there is the physical effort you have to do to actually peform sex.
1000000% this. I have access to sex but most of the time instead of inviting someone over, which might be a 30min-2hour process depending on how quickly they come, I’ll just masturbate.
Porn has made relationships harder for me because they feel like too much effort.
If you are a guy that the girls actually want, there is little effort you need to put into it. If you are an average dude, don’t bother.
Well, as I said, there is still the physical effort required to actually perform sex.
Also, you definitely should make efforts. I’ve personally witnessed myself, average looking guys who do have a partner.
Beside, how do you determine if you, yourself, are pretty or average? We’re not really our best judge.
@@cubescihist6737 I guess by the level you attract females...
This is ironically why sex and porn are two completely different things. If porn was as hard as having sex then it wouldn't be nearly as appealing to people.
When He said meaninglessness is one of the biggest factor in porn use. I silently cried inside. Wooo 😓😓😓 find meaning Damn that's good
Nice Advertising for the Book… i rode exactly the same comment somewhere else. Shamless
Thank you Dr.Always knew it was kinda like a natural drug, but that meaningless part was new.
Thank you for putting porn addiction as a non shaming non degrading way. Many of us, to be frank, is in this too.
If only women were non-shaming. Porn never rejects anyone. It's a true shame that modern women have given away their value and power. Who in their right mind, in 2023, would go out of their way to desire or pursue an asshole species like women ? Esp. when these lazy good for nothing, overly entitled women (aka: "assholes") have willfully permitted porn to replace them! LMAO It's almost jokes now! I'd say it's called "Karma". If only sex and women could be as tantalizing and "addictive" as porn. Oh, what a wonderful world it would be! peace.
Quit porn for 2 weeks, failed, now trying again. So far 1 week.
I believe in you! Everytime you try and every time uou get up after falling you improve and grow and improve!! You can do it!
My dude, if you are not having a sex life, you are just trying to deny your sexual desires lol. Unless you are watching porn and fapping every day - you dont have an addiction. If you are doing it once to 3 times a week - you are fine. Coz thats the amount of sex your body would have been happy with. Seek out real women, invest in looksmaxing, game, social skill, new skills , hobbies, education, ect but dont feel bad coz you choked the chicken once a week coz you dont have a gf. lol.
You might not be religious but one thing I did was return to church (now go every Sunday) after so many years. I confessed (personally) to God about my sin of lust and have been porn free for several months. The physical urge is wearing off but the visual practice off watching is gone. My advice to you is to find something that gives you moral obligation to do better!
How'd u do?
@@jamisonbernhardt3310 so far moderation. It’s been tapering off. Every now and again I delete videos from my computer. Beyond that I’ve also been very busy with my art so I don’t want to waste the time I have on porn.
What dr. K said about society becoming less tolerant of things bc we refuse to take individual action. Was really thought invoking.
He is spot-on, I've never thought about meaningless
one day i decided that for the next month iw as going to be as healthy as possible. i went to the gym at least 5 times a week, stopped all junk food, no alcohol and i also decided to stop porn consumption completely. and it was oddly very easy, and i think it was easy because of all the other vices i decided to cut out. after one month i got down to 64kg (i was about 70kg at the start of the month) i looked fit and cut and my mental clarity was definitely noticeable. i have resumed things like eating fast food every now and then and only drink maybe once every few weeks. but no porn at all and i dont desire to watch it either. it was a much needed reset! highly recommend everyone do what i did
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 Porn *addiction is often misunderstood and is a powerful emotional coping mechanism, not necessarily linked to sexual perversion.*
02:20 Research *shows that the main variable associated with pornography addiction is a sense of meaninglessness in life.*
03:32 Porn *use is not primarily a sexual trigger; it's driven by life circumstances and emotional regulation.*
05:23 Pornography *addiction is compared to other coping mechanisms like binge eating, alcohol, cannabis, social media, and video games.*
06:33 Downstream *effects of porn use include sexual dysfunction, such as "death grip syndrome" and difficulty with real physiological interaction.*
08:57 Shame *and guilt associated with porn use can lead to difficulty performing and maintaining erections, impacting psychological and physiological aspects of sex.*
09:51 Porn *usage can escalate to more extreme content, desensitizing individuals and making real-life interactions less stimulating.*
11:45 The *story one tells themselves about porn use contributes to its impact; demonizing it may exacerbate issues, and a healthier approach is developing better coping mechanisms.*
Thanks, so when does he talk about how to stop like the title implies
For those wondering...this is how you lose your family. The porn takes over your brain and becomes your priority. It becomes the coping mechanism fir all your problems. You ignore the ones that love you, porn becomes the great escape.
Thanks my g!
Dr.K makes so much sense.
Years. Non stop watching 24/7 if I can do it. Then I know for sure anyone can. Let’s do this.