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How You Feel After Years Of Narcissistic Abuse

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  • čas přidán 25. 10. 2022
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    If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, you may feel like you're dealing with lasting damage to your mental health. Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, confused, and deeply hurt. But there is hope for healing and recovery. In this video, we'll explore the brain damage caused by narcissistic abuse and show you how to reverse its effects.
    Check out my website where you can contact me to talk about one-to-one coaching and therapy - www.carolinestrawson.com
    Don’t forget if you haven’t liked it and hit subscribe, please do so and you will be notified each time I upload a video.
    I look forward to helping you on your journey to not just survive after narcissistic abuse but THRIVE
    Love Caroline Strawson xoxo
    #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #Narcissist

Komentáře • 519

  • @annaburns2865
    @annaburns2865 Před 11 měsíci +245

    This is when your family calls you lazy. When they know they have already stolen all of your energy.

    • @doranvee5944
      @doranvee5944 Před 9 měsíci +12

      oh you know it

    • @ChamStar625
      @ChamStar625 Před 8 měsíci +6

      ✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️

    • @bassplayer10
      @bassplayer10 Před 8 měsíci +6

      Truth. ❤

    • @Tania-rg7jp
      @Tania-rg7jp Před 8 měsíci +4

      EXACTLY!!!!!

    • @RosieTime_
      @RosieTime_ Před 6 měsíci +6

      What you said hit the nail right on the head. I'm 56, still feeling invisible. My name is Rosie. Childhood verbal and mental abuse made my petals dry up and fall away. I feel like I have nothing left but thorns now. I need to find a group of likewise grownups like myself to get past it. BUSY

  • @Thankful305
    @Thankful305 Před rokem +305

    And… you CANNOT show or reveal this pain in front of them.
    They use it against you.
    Everything has to be concealed to protect yourself 😢

    • @ginacassares6801
      @ginacassares6801 Před 11 měsíci +11

      Yes. Mother came over. Why you sleeping. Gee you always sleep.
      Ya think.
      After i worked hard all my life. She never will know. She never worked.
      Yes. I am tired.

    • @agirl3902
      @agirl3902 Před 11 měsíci +18

      You’re absolutely correct. They enjoy when you’re exhausted. They want you to be tired….too tired to stand up and leave

    • @cosmicreef5858
      @cosmicreef5858 Před 10 měsíci +5

      Not every person is bad. There are already a lot of people in this comment section who can understand what you are going through and lived through the same things! But of course you do not have to force yourself to socialize.
      Take your time!

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci +3

      Yes true, you have to hide everything no matter how much you are suffering for your own safety

    • @lastnamefirst1981
      @lastnamefirst1981 Před 7 měsíci +1

      So true

  • @Thankful305
    @Thankful305 Před rokem +161

    Can barely get anything done
    Constantly in self care mode!

    • @themapleandmahogany
      @themapleandmahogany Před 10 měsíci +14

      The hustle culture will tell you otherwise but that means you're facing the healing journey head on ❤️‍🩹 so kudos to you. Being on the run constantly and avoiding/compartmentalizing the grief just prolongs the process and meanwhile you're more prone to all sorts of amygdala hijackings out there in the world.. running around like a chicken with their head cut off getting into more & more trouble. I like you're way!

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 Před 7 měsíci +3

      Same and then worrying that I'm 'selfabsorbed' :(

    • @Thankful305
      @Thankful305 Před 7 měsíci +3

      @@peaceofmindofpeace1650 no way!! Self care to heal-- sometimes we just need to be ministered to instead of pouring out to others.
      Let the Lord pour into you 🕊️🙏❤️

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@Thankful305 Thank you ☺️ ❤️

    • @nellamorra6728
      @nellamorra6728 Před 7 měsíci +9

      I feel the same way...I can't get anything done

  • @ericmoore9444
    @ericmoore9444 Před rokem +152

    Staying the F away from everyone! Trying to heal

    • @timweedon2785
      @timweedon2785 Před 9 měsíci +7

      There isn't any way to actually heal. You can only go out and surround yourself with people and distractions. It never goes away. If you isolate you ruin the rest of your life

    • @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry
      @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@timweedon2785Yes, you can heal. But it takes long, hard, difficult work on your childhood neglect/abuse issues. And you have to make lots of difficult choices and stick with them.

    • @Smellslikenarcspirit
      @Smellslikenarcspirit Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@timweedon2785answer : balance isolation whit social contact .

    • @user-tc4ry5oo7k
      @user-tc4ry5oo7k Před 4 měsíci +1

      Same !

    • @rhondawalker2020
      @rhondawalker2020 Před 3 měsíci +1

      At the moment, I feel safest at home enjoying the peace and quiet 🤫! I really get panic attacks 🙃! One small step at a time.

  • @DeborahOlander
    @DeborahOlander Před rokem +201

    Busy. In recovery. But man it's been hard.

  • @saraumar3295
    @saraumar3295 Před rokem +147

    I'm dealing with emotional mental exhaustion from narc abuse now I'm depressed and have anxiety

    • @stevenkovler5133
      @stevenkovler5133 Před rokem +4

      Exactly

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem +4

      Same here

    • @NB-ic7my
      @NB-ic7my Před rokem +10

      Same, extensional fear depression

    • @user-hz8bb5gk6s
      @user-hz8bb5gk6s Před 9 měsíci +5

      Me too lovely sick of it

    • @doranvee5944
      @doranvee5944 Před 9 měsíci +17

      Anxiety attacks too? Suddenly came on. I spend a lot of time worshipping the Lord and in prayer every morning. We must focus on the Lord and let all else go.

  • @nancychandler768
    @nancychandler768 Před rokem +168

    Complex PTSD goes hand-in-hand with narcissistic abuse. Don’t apologize or explain to anyone because unless you’ve gone through this, you can’t possibly understand.
    Hang tight ❤

    • @themapleandmahogany
      @themapleandmahogany Před 10 měsíci +10

      Yes it's pretty invalidating with the normies.. it gets super frustrating . On the other hand it's definitely a good test of empathy for those around you. It really made me shuffle around my understanding of certain friends & family.

    • @ChandChandramukhi
      @ChandChandramukhi Před 10 měsíci +3

      Can you recover your memory?

    • @themapleandmahogany
      @themapleandmahogany Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@ChandChandramukhiI recovered many when I truly felt safe & stable in the present moment and knew it would help bring me answers to my healing journey. I'd highly recommend doing it with an experienced trauma specialist. Follow your intuition, it's not the path for everyone and could get some people stuck or retraumatized if they're not ready to finally process and grieve that loss of self from whatever it is one endured ❤️‍🩹

    • @SpiritualAwakening11T
      @SpiritualAwakening11T Před 10 měsíci

      czcams.com/users/shortsam3s9XXbevs?si=IGOSJmieh6FWk5xY

    • @christinasapp9726
      @christinasapp9726 Před 9 měsíci +9

      Yes, I agree. Then when you try to have balance in life, others want to call you unstable and crazy. That's what I'm dealing with.

  • @esmeraldasoto6322
    @esmeraldasoto6322 Před rokem +59

    I agree. I'm healing from narcissistic abuse. There are times I feel good but I have moments of emptiness.

    • @themapleandmahogany
      @themapleandmahogany Před 10 měsíci +9

      Those moments, or in my case days/weeks/months, are tougher for me than the complete sobbing breakdowns. It's just a flatlined state of anhedonia. You really feel like a ghost of your old self. It's rough but our bodies & minds want us to heal imo.. it's for a reason. Hang in there ✌️❤️‍🩹

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +4

      Just the other day I felt empty,and asked God to fill that void,nothing related to NPD

    • @esmeraldasoto6322
      @esmeraldasoto6322 Před 9 měsíci +5

      @@MattyNelson-rs3ik I hope you get better

  • @shellyg5705
    @shellyg5705 Před rokem +72

    It’s hard to recover when they won’t leave you alone :(

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem +7

      It is !!! It's prolonging the inevitable

    • @janedoe-mf5dv
      @janedoe-mf5dv Před rokem +4

      Protective order. Tell them in writing you don't want any more contact and block them. If they violate it file. You don't need an attorney if it's a temporary protective order

    • @nildabridgeman8104
      @nildabridgeman8104 Před 10 měsíci +4

      Get AWAY.. forgive but get away from them ♥️

    • @numberone6266
      @numberone6266 Před 10 měsíci +3

      it really is, u gotta get angry , thing is we gotta look at it spiritually we looking at the physical person not the demon an it’s familiar to you too

    • @eboneep6354
      @eboneep6354 Před 10 měsíci +2

      I know this feeling 😢

  • @ufninoc
    @ufninoc Před rokem +145

    Sometimes friends get offended because I opt out at the last second from a dinner invitation. They don’t get it how hard it is to live with narc and being depressed

    • @Thankful305
      @Thankful305 Před rokem +14

      Please just go
      Don’t do what I did and now have no one

    • @alexiscorrigan1765
      @alexiscorrigan1765 Před rokem +12

      @@Thankful305sometimes u only have energy for yourself , if u ever had someone in the first place and u were in a situation this horrible they should more than understand with a simple apology why you couldn’t be present in the relationship

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem +15

      Same with my sister!!!! She gets mad at me for not going to her house when she asks
      She has no fucking clue the hell i go through everyday

    • @presiosac.2719
      @presiosac.2719 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Oh my. That’s how I feel right now.

    • @KATHYCHUBI
      @KATHYCHUBI Před 10 měsíci +10

      ​@@Thankful305same. i isolated for years and compounded it during covid and did not answer calls and now at almost 50 i have zero friends -no family. and wonder who'll bury me

  • @harmantumber
    @harmantumber Před rokem +35

    I lack all motivation. I don’t even have a job.
    The only thing I love to do is go on walking mediations and ground myself in the earth.
    I’ve also been relaxing my vagus nerve and it helps.
    I’m 20 years old but I’m grateful I got out a young age and I can start healing.

    • @notmymonkeynotmycircus
      @notmymonkeynotmycircus Před rokem +8

      I lack all motivation too and i dont even have a job either. All the while everyone at some point /right away have a problem with this and they tell me my problem is thst i need to get a job. Yes, i do. But that is not my problem nor the answer.

    • @nv_chino
      @nv_chino Před 8 měsíci

      Proud of you and wish you the best

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci

      Same exact here and i'm also on my 20's, it's been 3 years of no contact but the healing it's still painful sometimes

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci +3

      ​@@notmymonkeynotmycircusdon't feel guilty for resting, sometimes God is not giving is a Job because he wants and is blessing us with that for us to be able to completely rest and rebuild our temples from everything that happened to us

    • @Datb2
      @Datb2 Před 6 měsíci +2

      Same I can’t do anything been unemployed year now

  • @Lifeeden
    @Lifeeden Před rokem +23

    I am still feeling the same way after 10 years

    • @KATHYCHUBI
      @KATHYCHUBI Před 10 měsíci +4

      10 years since my first discard and am realizing cortisol due to narc abuse messed up my metabolism and my health. gave met lung disease

  • @chiquitac.4222
    @chiquitac.4222 Před 11 měsíci +46

    MAY THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY BE WITH YOU ALL WHO ARE TRYING TO HEAL FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE. I DO UNDERSTAND 100%. 😐✝️🙏🏾

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci

      Thanks, God bless you

    • @RosieTime_
      @RosieTime_ Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you.

    • @DelphineVlogs
      @DelphineVlogs Před 6 měsíci

      Thank you 🙏 God Bless ❤

    • @alicia-michelle75
      @alicia-michelle75 Před 6 měsíci

      It's been 5 months of NC.. most days I'm good, some bad... but I'm pressing forward, can never go back.. I know he's been with a million ppl by now.. he's a whore 🤮

  • @Kerrviii
    @Kerrviii Před rokem +41

    I’m apathetic. Tired. I’m so drained. So misunderstood. I just wanted to help him see he was loved. It’s the worst . THE WORST . Please pray for my son

    • @soja2634
      @soja2634 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I will pray for you and and your son for healing and living a better life.

    • @Vitalocaa
      @Vitalocaa Před 8 měsíci

      I will pray that someday you can make it through and out! It takes time to get the courage to leave. You’re alone in your hell. When you get just 1 breath of I’ve had enough start with one breath at a time. I’m a stranger on the internet but you’re not ALONE! They’re plenty of good folks right here and now that are taking those breaths that led to thoughts that led to self doubt and fear and anxiety that led to actions and Goals and Expectations and GONE!!😊

    • @latterrain09
      @latterrain09 Před 7 měsíci

      46 years have gone by. I let myself become isolated. No one would believe my life. I can't even begin to explain the self doubt. I have auto immune I'm trying to heal from. But my mind is clearing. I cut sugar, dairy, highly processed foods. It's helped my anxiety immensely. One step at a time. I was the family scapegoat, didn't even comprehend the vulnerable narcissist. It all falls into place. My faith is comfort "Take on my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

    • @shekar122
      @shekar122 Před 7 měsíci

      Your last option is nice guys ..

  • @8no1likeme-infinitestar65

    Amen, I will not apologize for saving myself ❤

  • @patrickgerard2016
    @patrickgerard2016 Před 10 měsíci +7

    People who have not experienced this will never understand why i truly think the day my abusive NarcMom dies will be one of the best days of my life...the greatest relief

  • @dwlsn93
    @dwlsn93 Před rokem +71

    It wasn’t a lie to say you’re busy… it was self preservation 😢❤

  • @maryk4815
    @maryk4815 Před rokem +15

    I am hurting so bad from this abuse, but I need to have a plan to get away and stick to it! Narcissists make you have nothing of your own, they make it hard to leave them.

    • @DelphineVlogs
      @DelphineVlogs Před 6 měsíci

      Yes so hard. Go back and forward to my abusive family

  • @neveragain733
    @neveragain733 Před rokem +50

    Wow, I totally needed to see this. I was near death because of a narcissist partner. At the end of 7 years I was bedridden and felt death was near
    I new I was almost out of energy and knew I had to spend that last bit of energy and life I had to sever ties.
    I threw her out. I had a nervous breakdown after she left. I guess all that toxicity came out all at once.
    It's been a year and I am recovering. I wasn't damaged over night and I will not heal over night.
    I wish the Lord would remove every narcissist from this planet.

    • @themapleandmahogany
      @themapleandmahogany Před 10 měsíci +2

      ❤️‍🩹 thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear how severe it got but glad you're on the healing path. Similar story here so you're words hit home. All the best ✌️

    • @fayray9544
      @fayray9544 Před 10 měsíci +6

      HE will eventually. I feel your pain. Stay close to the Lord. He is the Good Shepherd

    • @doranvee5944
      @doranvee5944 Před 9 měsíci +2

      it's been 1.5 years and I feel like square one

    • @user-vl4cr2tz2d
      @user-vl4cr2tz2d Před 9 měsíci +1

      Same.

  • @Petra-qw1pv
    @Petra-qw1pv Před rokem +61

    Sorry you had to go through this .....😔 I felt ashamed of just lying there breathing - but it was all I could do whilst trying to figure out what has happened. Took me two tears to understand I was abused by a Narcisist ....

    • @DeborahOlander
      @DeborahOlander Před rokem +5

      This. Exactly this.

    • @aliya303
      @aliya303 Před 11 měsíci +7

      I dont blame u. Its 22yrs + n still in it. Its hard to fig this out as a layman. The faster u know.. the faster u can try to atleast deal with it. Good luck!

    • @KATHYCHUBI
      @KATHYCHUBI Před 10 měsíci +3

      I am still recovering 7 year after the final discard

  • @phyzertracy9104
    @phyzertracy9104 Před 11 měsíci +9

    Busy...Just got out weeks ago, its hard, i promise it is, i feel weird being single, i feel like my entire world has just fallen apart, i feel like am starting from scratch, believe me am dying inside from loneliness, but somehow i feel theres a better future ahead, whether ill find someone or not, i believe my future is going to be better.❤

    • @phyzertracy9104
      @phyzertracy9104 Před 11 měsíci +3

      The only thing keeping me busy right now is my attachment ending next week. Am kinda scared, that after that, what next??!!

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +1

      Our family friend was the same,20 years,married,blindsided,,wife divorced him,looks like she always had supply in the background,Hectold me.she grew up with alcoholic dad,narcissist mother. MIL,destroyed his marriage, never accepted him for her daughter, she was golden child.He could not sleep for weeks,after she left, told him he'll become psychotic,took meds to help him cope that was 3 years ago,doing much better.now. money is always a bad situation in marriages too,control,power,poor financial decisions.spending money,without consent.

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@phyzertracy9104life goes on,one day at a time,,pray..

  • @concreterosegarden5936
    @concreterosegarden5936 Před rokem +59

    I was bed ridden in recovery for 3 years after I finally cut off my narassstic mother. At first I tried to fight it but I realized my mind, body, heart and soul really needed to just rest and recover. It taught me to be patient with myself and that all I was doing before was keeping myself busy so I didn't have to feel and process my emotions. Healing can feel very painful sometimes.

    • @nicolelang3109
      @nicolelang3109 Před rokem +1

      I’m just leaving one Oofta I’m so sorry

    • @bbdn5123
      @bbdn5123 Před rokem +6

      💗 The realization is making me go in shock and denial even more. I'm where you at. My safe place is under attack, so I'm fighting myself and go in numbing/surpressing, which is sort of impossible this time with the overwhelm and everything... Take care of self and rest seems like the hardest thing ever now.☝🏽🌌💖💫

    • @KATHYCHUBI
      @KATHYCHUBI Před 10 měsíci +5

      the recovery takes years and years. and I've realized the entire relationship destroyed my body I literally have zero dopamine for anything.

  • @spacegirl226
    @spacegirl226 Před rokem +54

    I feel this deeply. This has been me for the last few days. I've been doing a lot of difficult coming to terms with my abusive family lately. I can't get away from them so I suffer and endure. But I am exhausted, soul deep exhaustion. I just want to be alone and be left alone so I can conserve my energy. I'm tired.
    Thanks for this.

    • @harrietthornton5328
      @harrietthornton5328 Před rokem +2

      Hi, haylenore I described my tired as soul tired also.

    • @donzettajarvis6582
      @donzettajarvis6582 Před rokem

      This I understand so well, God's grace is sufficient when all our strength is gone.
      I don't know if you are a believer in Jesus Christ as I am and fallow the leading of God but I know for SURE that I could not have made this far without faith.
      Psalms 91 and Psalms 86 read them and receive comfort and peace.
      N'love and faith ❤️🙏🏻

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +1

      Family,,I'm out..

    • @octavia9464
      @octavia9464 Před 8 měsíci

      God bless you!! ❤🙏

    • @theRealJenessaNo.1.
      @theRealJenessaNo.1. Před 6 měsíci +1

      Oh my God.
      I have been this way for at least 4 years, very very literally.
      A few days. I wish to God I could say t h a t.
      It's been as long as I can remember I've been this way.

  • @sarahmann7390
    @sarahmann7390 Před rokem +10

    It makes me heal just knowing I'm not the only one that has gone through these hard days..weeks. months. It is so healing though to see that we are not
    " crazy "

    • @hellenmbetemutua8544
      @hellenmbetemutua8544 Před rokem +1

      I can hardly get anything done well, i miss the happy me

    • @octavia9464
      @octavia9464 Před 8 měsíci

      That's exactly jow I felt after finding out what a narcissists was!!! I had no idea what I was dealing with and thought I was crazy!! But I found out he was the one causing me to go crazy!!! Just knowing it wasn't anything to do with me, made a world of difference!!! Then I was able to come out of it a whole lot easier!!!! 😊🥰❣️🙏

  • @susanblanche9684
    @susanblanche9684 Před 10 měsíci +6

    Sometimes i put on a good act thinking i had to be strong But it hit me later with the inner thoughts 😊

  • @Mymyrochelle
    @Mymyrochelle Před 9 měsíci +5

    And now I’m crying. Everyday feel like a Infinite amount of breathe I take while telling myself I’ll be ok & im safe. My whole body, mind, always wants to be at peace or almost isolated

  • @christinagable1576
    @christinagable1576 Před 10 měsíci +8

    I cut ties with my narcissistic father and his family members a little over a year ago. I am just coming terms with the fact that it was abuse for over 30 years. Now I'm trying to learn how to heal.

  • @lisas1625
    @lisas1625 Před rokem +22

    After decades of abuse im so tired im not even tired anymore. Ive healed tons tho ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

  • @staceycrofford4163
    @staceycrofford4163 Před rokem +19

    BUSY! Feeling stuck and unable to move forward in areas I wish I could due to the triggers and feelings and flashbacks.

    • @joynorwood1951
      @joynorwood1951 Před 9 měsíci

      Good news is coming. I’m praying for you Stacey

  • @mocalifornia6103
    @mocalifornia6103 Před 11 měsíci +20

    ✨BUSY 🛌💕
    And savoring every minute of my new life living ALONE narcissist husband n adult daughter free!!✨ Thank you Jesus!! 🙌🏻✝️

  • @Jess-ew3tm
    @Jess-ew3tm Před rokem +20

    My mom and older sibling are both narcissists and my grandma is a huge enabler and victim shamer. I’ll never forget the evil sh*t they’ve done to me or put me through and I just want to heal from it all. No one seems to know how to actually HEAL from being abused. Wtf

    • @innuendoz
      @innuendoz Před rokem +6

      Sorry you have to deal with that with people so close, my son and I are in a similar situation. Its such a big accomplishment and advantage to be aware of the situation, stay strong.

    • @bbdn5123
      @bbdn5123 Před rokem +2

      💗 I'm there too. I feel like there's nothing left, I'm too overwhelmed and exhausted. There's a knowing within me; Patience, hope and faith... ☝🏽🌌💖💫

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +2

      First get far away from them, then wake up and pray each day.just say Thank you God for saving me,look in the mirror each day into your eyes and say i love you. THANK YOU GOD.

    • @missphilana
      @missphilana Před 9 měsíci

      @mattynelson that’s the best advice. Unfortunately no professional has ever helped, they just wrote you off as so damaged you can’t ever be okay again. It’s a terrible lie, they don’t know how but desperately need to believe it. So you end up being more abused by those who have to help. Very often it’s a family problem with narcissists and enablers. People really don’t understand and every story of abuse is so similar but the healing is very personal. I’m trying to escape decades of abuse right now and it’s honestly prayer alone giving me the insight and direction and hope I need. I always thought if thing are bad it’s because God has abandoned me so there’s no point in praying. For the first time in many many years, I’m praying for God to sort out everything and for the first time in 40years I have a chance to escape. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done but I’m not alone anymore. I keep getting insight, direction, information etc. I’m operating on blind faith because I myself have been unable to end the cycle of abuse.

    • @gigigogo41
      @gigigogo41 Před 8 měsíci +2

      Healing only comes from Christ the Messiah: ❤ It's God' s Blessing
      To you. Reach out ...Love

  • @AnK036
    @AnK036 Před rokem +13

    Busy… Today marks the first year after leaving my ex of 12 years and I am still recovering. It’s exhausting, draining…. I still feel lost. Sometimes it feels like you are never going to be okay but as it is said, there is always a silver lining..

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem +1

      I'm 10 years in and scared of how I'm going to feel when I leave him
      I'm scared of the hell I am ganna have to endure

    • @Venuschild33
      @Venuschild33 Před rokem +2

      @@shaniecegullison Don't be afraid. It'll be hell whether you stay or go. Pick which one is worth going thru!

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem

      @@Venuschild33 thank you and it's hell right now here with him

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison Před rokem

      @@Venuschild33 🌞❤️

  • @RafaelGonzalez-ww4tv
    @RafaelGonzalez-ww4tv Před rokem +13

    Take a deep breath and leave it in gods hands. I’m a survivor to.

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci +1

      Yes leaving it in God's hands it's the best decision, rest and take care of yourself, God bless you ❤️✝️
      Romans 12:19
      Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

    • @heleyy
      @heleyy Před 6 měsíci

      Literally singing psalms 91 in my head rn. I don’t even have the energy to talk. I feel so broken.

  • @SharlenesJourney
    @SharlenesJourney Před rokem +14

    Yep busy in recovery and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about it

  • @heavyjoechipman3594
    @heavyjoechipman3594 Před 10 měsíci +4

    Am 53. Narc mom is 74. Narc brother is 51. After decades of abuse, i'm at the end of my rope. I cannot take another day of this. Please God, hear my pleas. Get me away from these awful, demonic, wretches.

    • @reneetones2077
      @reneetones2077 Před 9 měsíci +4

      God gave me a plan and strategy to walk away from abusive family. He will set a path out for you too. You matter. I am praying for your complete release into joy and freedom.

    • @heavyjoechipman3594
      @heavyjoechipman3594 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@reneetones2077 Thank you Renee. Prayer for/to me is more valuable than all the money in the world. So, many, many, thank yous. 🙂♥️🙏👍

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +2

      Move far away in stealth.leave them in the dust..no contact..so sorry to know people have been going tru this all their lives..with family members.

  • @foreverlv311
    @foreverlv311 Před rokem +20

    Just starting to get panic attacks in control. Feeling less tired, slept out cold without waking for 9 hours after weeks of not sleeping properly and surviving on just a few hours a night. Today was the turning point of being this busy and it's getting easier 😊👍

    • @Jovalela3
      @Jovalela3 Před rokem +2

      What helped you to get to this point. I‘m constantly feeling tired no matter how much I sleep and overall exhausted during the day plus panic attacks 😢I just wanna feel better

    • @soja2634
      @soja2634 Před 10 měsíci

      That lack of sleep for months and years and feeling tormented pain and anguish is something to go through.

  • @user-vu8pm4dw6d
    @user-vu8pm4dw6d Před 10 měsíci +3

    My head heats up from the exhaustion of thinking about it all!

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci +1

      It's the ruminating thoughts right ? 😕 I understand you, it's your body reacting still from everything that happened

  • @kate8873
    @kate8873 Před 10 měsíci +3

    I thought I was the only one that reacted this way! I’ve been out of my narcissistic family system now for one year and eight months. I can tell I’m getting better but still some days I’m exhausted and don’t do anything. It’s a slow, hard process but improving is the goal! ❤

    • @christinagable1576
      @christinagable1576 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Same for me. It's been a little over a year now. It still makes me feel bad on days when I don't do anything at all because I can still hear them calling me lazy in my head. It's still difficult to set boundaries sometimes, but I am slowly learning that sometimes I have to put myself first and not burn myself out to help others all of the time.

  • @Msfruity44
    @Msfruity44 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Busy healing and recovering - all of this - and I will not apologize.❤ Sending love to all!

  • @courtneyawalsh
    @courtneyawalsh Před rokem +8

    SO relatable. Busy…healing.

  • @katedaley8974
    @katedaley8974 Před rokem +5

    I know that feeling, I’m still in recovery 6 years later

  • @khurtsmom
    @khurtsmom Před 11 měsíci +5

    Busy…I desperately want to get out of bed and start living I’m just too exhausted to move

    • @chaoswitch1974
      @chaoswitch1974 Před 7 měsíci +1

      I feel the same way. I thought I was sick for a long time. It's just exhaustion from narcissist abuse.

  • @Rosyginaz
    @Rosyginaz Před 11 měsíci +4

    I am still married to the narc. I take about 2 naps a day and need a full 6+ hours of sleep at night. In survival mode 24/7. As you get older, it’s just worse. I’m waiting for my youngest to turn 16. Just 5 more years. Almost. Already been 17 years.

  • @elishafleming2440
    @elishafleming2440 Před rokem +18

    Yes and my narc mom doesn’t let me rest either I’m still trapped I need to move but I gotta work and be first it’s so exhausting

    • @lisas1625
      @lisas1625 Před rokem +1

      Thinking of you ✨✨✨

    • @moonlightstargem1006
      @moonlightstargem1006 Před rokem +7

      They’re probably sleep depriving you. Get out of the house to sleep & take time off and catch up on sleep. Don’t give away your location & get comfy and sleep it out. Narcs are super selfish. They need attention on them 24/7

  • @donzettajarvis6582
    @donzettajarvis6582 Před rokem +6

    This is me right now😢

    • @chaoswitch1974
      @chaoswitch1974 Před 7 měsíci

      Me too. Even lying right there, you are not alone.

  • @ethanplacella
    @ethanplacella Před 9 měsíci +2

    For the past 9 months I got my own apartment and only went out if I wanted to see people. If I didn’t, I didn’t pick up the phone or go out. I responded in my own time.
    All I wanted was my own space, to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. For the first time I could take a nap and sleep all day without interruption or without being made to feel guilty for doing it. I could rest and recover on my own time table without answering to anyone.
    That was immense freedom.
    For anyone struggling, get out from that environment if you can and go no contact. Find people who understand/ relate and have experienced the same trauma. Much healing comes through talking it out with like minded people because of the many years of being invalidated.
    You will make it. Hold on.

  • @patsy9947
    @patsy9947 Před rokem +5

    Yep hope nobody wants nothing from me... I'm busy!!!

  • @AB-ec5qv
    @AB-ec5qv Před 9 měsíci +2

    Yep. They do it to you on purpose to drain your light for themselves. Take whatever time you need to recover. You deserve it. Most people don’t understand. ❤

  • @cosmicreef5858
    @cosmicreef5858 Před 10 měsíci +2

    True and it makes me happy
    Sometimes i felt as if i am a burden, i felt shame for not hanging out with others
    Until i realized that i do not owe anybody my time, attention, body, ect.
    It feels nice that i have made the right thing and lifted that burden off my shoulders :)

  • @lesacarter3028
    @lesacarter3028 Před rokem +2

    All that!!! So draining! But done and Happier 🎉🙏🌺

  • @lauriejordan2716
    @lauriejordan2716 Před 9 měsíci +2

    I am crying right now. I lost both my parents and my brother. I keep beating myself up, wondering why I didn’t spend more time with them. What was I so “busy” doing, considering I never actually did anything. But this is it. I was in a 13 year marriage with a diagnosed narcissist. I just needed quiet time alone sometimes. You just made me hate myself a little less. Thank you so much! This is a gift that will stay with me forever.

  • @jennifermyers6453
    @jennifermyers6453 Před rokem +6

    Still can't breathe. Busy

  • @The-Luxe-Life
    @The-Luxe-Life Před 11 měsíci +4

    This is so heartbreaking 😢Stay strong everyone!

  • @KatieCarney66
    @KatieCarney66 Před rokem +2

    Busy. So so tired. Exhausted. But, for the first time, hope is slowly dawning again. 'Self' is ever so cautiously re-emerging.

  • @karenk2409
    @karenk2409 Před 9 měsíci +2

    100% I start every single day with a prayer of thanks for peace.

  • @rosie2879
    @rosie2879 Před rokem +3

    Busy. It just ended. But thank God. If he didn't leave I don't think I had the heart to not forgive him over and over again. But as always he made it as if it was my fault, telling everyone I made a fatal mistake.

  • @survivalcraftlordfnaf-fx9te
    @survivalcraftlordfnaf-fx9te Před 9 měsíci +1

    Busy, regrouping, rebuilding, reenergizing. The abuse is so real and so exhausting. It took 8 months to put myself back together and it took 2 days for him to disrupt my mental peace

  • @maxcano2069
    @maxcano2069 Před 9 měsíci

    Max’s mom here!
    Wow! Is That what I have been going through for 50 years!
    Have been doing research on narcissism, this ties it all together for me! I have been letting my life pass me by! Stay Strong Out There, My People! You Got This!

  • @CraigBixler-dg2fj
    @CraigBixler-dg2fj Před rokem +4

    3 months since I left her. Possible ptsd.
    She went from abuser, to professional victim when I had enough, and left.
    Such an evil behavior(s).

    • @Stretch843
      @Stretch843 Před rokem

      I can relate but I screwed up by trying to defend myself at first, now IDGAF but I believe the damage to my reputation is already done

  • @ppbb5203
    @ppbb5203 Před rokem +3

    That’s how I feel Monday, Tuesday Wednesday after spending half Saturday and the Sunday with my narc partner.

  • @samalam6853
    @samalam6853 Před rokem +3

    It was only 6 months but I can’t even imagine what years feels like I hate how much she is in my head she latched herself onto my soul and took a part of it away

    • @stevenkovler5133
      @stevenkovler5133 Před rokem +1

      I am so addicted to mine that I still hookup with her . She is gorgeous and sensuous and a great lover . I also still love her to death. But I was headed to an early grave because of her !

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +1

      Give it back to God,promise him.its His,,which it is.tell him ,my soul belongs to you God,manage it for me.A tare tried to invade it.its gone now.good riddance.

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci

      ​​@@stevenkovler5133a true succubus,that is what they are.vampires sucking you dry.their art is the lovemaking part.Walk away.Eve was beguiled...then she in turn beguiled Adam.look at us now.

  • @Leoleon11
    @Leoleon11 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Busy . I’m also recovering. Tough !

  • @Marshall-uy2dv
    @Marshall-uy2dv Před rokem +2

    Busy. Was married to one for 15 years. Each day gets just a little easier than the one before. It's a process.

  • @Chloe11118
    @Chloe11118 Před 7 měsíci +3

    I can remember having energy all the time, always go go go and generally happy. And because I still have to co parent, it’s taken years and years to heal. I only just found out my exhaustion is because my body got so used to living in survival mode it doesn’t remember how to be calm and peaceful. It’s been six years… I feel so much better but there is still so much healing to do. And my body is starting to finally to heal ❤

    • @childofthelivinggod9347
      @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci

      I understand you 💔😥 you're not alone I recognise this, it's hard for your body to understand you don't need to be in fight or flight mode even when you are safe

  • @NewLife4GVN
    @NewLife4GVN Před 10 měsíci +1

    Exactly!!!! They're so exhausting!!! I can't wait to be able to rest and re energize. I'm homeless but soon getting a place. I plan on sleeping for at least a week. Lol

  • @ladybutterflyeyes
    @ladybutterflyeyes Před rokem +4

    Busy….yup 👍

  • @groominator-magneticequato7195
    @groominator-magneticequato7195 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Xo. From someone who used to make beautiful experiences and adventures for the kids… Once I broke up, he went after our kids to maintain control/attention. Now, having energy to make muffins w/ my daughter tonight is enough. RIP my twins deep relationship broken by his abuse. Golden child vs abused scapegoat child.
    I Wish you all the strength and self care to do the work and return to you.

  • @Tania-rg7jp
    @Tania-rg7jp Před 8 měsíci +1

    Exactly why I moved the hell away suddenly with little warning. He refused to allow me rest. He disregarded when I was sick and picked a fight, just to pick on and pick me apart. Never again.

  • @childofthelivinggod9347
    @childofthelivinggod9347 Před 7 měsíci +2

    The worst is when after the abuse the people around you will make you feel guilty for resting and recovering and judge your energy, only the ones who went through this truly understand.. it can be a lonely world because no one else understands

  • @Minyobiznazz
    @Minyobiznazz Před 7 měsíci +1

    Oh my ... I use to do this all the time! In a meeting, busy, about to take a shower, running errands .. just anything for a little bit of PEACE

  • @jonmills5097
    @jonmills5097 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I felt this more than any other video I’ve seen …. I thought I was just lazy and antisocial or avoidant I didn’t realise narc abuse could literally stop you in your tracks like this 😳😳

  • @Mari-lv1rd
    @Mari-lv1rd Před rokem +2

    God Bless everyone .

  • @veronicaestrada4100
    @veronicaestrada4100 Před rokem +2

    Busy. Same. So tired after 28 years.

  • @Anointed77
    @Anointed77 Před 9 měsíci +2

    This is exactly what I'm choosing to do today. ❤

  • @ashleybates4411
    @ashleybates4411 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I was busy holding on by a thread, constantly scrambling to maintain a love on life support. Love I had that he was constantly bleeding the life out of. I gave him all of my attention, put him first and so did he. I was lucky to have come in last behind his needs and dare I voice my needs or discomfort with being left out or given crumbs…… then the rage….. the punishment by abandonment and stonewalling for days on end.All to come back when he needed his cup filled and acts like nothing happened….. like ghosting someone you “love” is normal. Like leaving someone at a loss and crying is normal because I deserved it for questioning him, for doubting him, for wanting him to keep the promises he made and ALWAYS BROKE.
    I was busy…… busy staying alive while dying inside for someone else.

  • @joannkemaldean1541
    @joannkemaldean1541 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Dealing w/ this now.💔Saw the red flags early on but ignored & rationalized. Years later, I’m paying the consequences. Jesus & I are constantly in meetings b/c I can’t hold it together. I know I’m trauma bonded so recently started therapy, again. Praying God will fix my stupid.🎚️

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci +1

      So sorry, Joan, one thing we must know in life, we cannot change anyone, but ourselves.red flags are always present, we have all ignored them.God is with you.hold on.pray,continue.God will restore the years the locust has eaten,I am also s h edding a tear for you,and me.find a couple of Bible promises, repeat them often to yourself,God will hold you up with his righteous right hand.

  • @jenniferfisher2703
    @jenniferfisher2703 Před 11 měsíci +1

    This hits my heart hard😢

  • @sorchamarie4089
    @sorchamarie4089 Před 8 měsíci

    My narc friend who told me she didnt want me in her life because i didnt do her bidding, then turned it around and told me the other day that im a horrible person for ignoring her for over a year. Then proceeds to tell me im not allowed use a gym near her, and told me she avoids anywhere i do be and im not allowed to be in her area? I told her she was being ridiculous! Finally blocked her today! It took me over a year to move on with my life, a lot of healing and getting my confidence back, a lot of reflection which is necessary.

  • @christinav3383
    @christinav3383 Před 5 měsíci

    Thank God the professionals on narcissism here on utube are helping us and educating us.

  • @michellelysien5739
    @michellelysien5739 Před 9 měsíci +4

    1000% I have to remind myself everyday itis okay to REST. TO JUST REST. IT IS OKAY IT IS NECESSARY

  • @user-ht2tc5uj7w
    @user-ht2tc5uj7w Před 9 měsíci +1

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WORK. This is my story, it's so hard being and not being able to do. God sees all. 🙏🏻

  • @theophany78
    @theophany78 Před 5 měsíci

    I told him that I was not feeling well lately and thatI need a break from him and his constant stress.
    I told him that it’s affecting my health so he’s been repeatedly asking for me to handle his very few parental responsibilities.
    They have no soul and if you show any signs of weakness or not feeling well they immediately try to capitalize on it and slowly kill you. They do not care about people like normal people do. And asking for anything even for them to be a responsible parent is them doing you a favor! Good Luck

  • @molls_denko
    @molls_denko Před 4 měsíci

    i am very grateful that i was able to get my narc ex out of my aprtment and away from me. I finally had my home to myself which became my safe space. I was so burnt out. This was April of 2023. I finally started feeling like myself again Jan 2024. Majority of my time was spent in bed. I sware it was like 9 months in bed watching self help, therapy videos, journaling. Bc i live alone i felt like i could finally allow myself to feel how i was feeling and let it all out. My mind and body eventually repaired itself. It took time and patience.

  • @sasharob3918
    @sasharob3918 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I needed this. I NEEDED TO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW.

  • @pluckyspector
    @pluckyspector Před rokem +3

    So busy. My father is the narcissist, and we are at the point of transferring responsibilities of life. FML

  • @C4RYB34R
    @C4RYB34R Před 10 měsíci +3

    busy and recovering from addiction due to his abuse.

  • @wictoriaolofsson2714
    @wictoriaolofsson2714 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I recognise myself in that indeed. Worse wa my anxiety attacks and brain fog and the constant fatique. I had Typical ptsd trauma symptom after abuse/assault.
    Today I am healed and ok

  • @Happyfeelinpeace
    @Happyfeelinpeace Před 7 měsíci

    This reminds me of my sister in law. She's been married for 29 years. She's had three forms of cancer. Her husband, my brother, hasn't cared for her for a long time bc even his coworkers say they can't get him to leave work and go home where he should be. He's very overweight. If that's what she's had to see for 29 years then no wonder she's sick. The house is in disarray as well. Life begets life. They mirror one another with the exception of work bc she's never worked. He's always worked even though money doesn't keep breath in our lungs. I'm just saying. When I went to visit before my dad's diabetic ketoacidosis, coma, they were very unhappy about my light. They didn't want to be told the truth. My brother ended it for me by saying if I was at their home the two of them would argue. Dad told them to grow up and that I was younger but much smarter for caring enough to tell the truth. Some people don't accept it. And there are even some who betray you bc of it. It's very sad. I just found out about identity theft and its family who did this. My dad passed away five years ago and my mom passed away in early 2023. The family who are left are should be honest but not with me, with themselves. I already know what time it is.

  • @beealexanders2450
    @beealexanders2450 Před 7 měsíci +2

    I SLEEP ALOT TO AVOID THE ABUSE

  • @gabbygill1516
    @gabbygill1516 Před 4 měsíci

    This is the most relatable thing I've seen today 😢

  • @mooshka5303
    @mooshka5303 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Love you caroline ❤ you have helped me so much with your content. Especially your podcasts!

  • @Amber-ws9ji
    @Amber-ws9ji Před 8 měsíci +1

    This is me for years but I finally got away in August 2023 and I'm slowly but surely recovering although I still feel this every day and it's so hard to try and explain this to others who makes me feel worse by thinking I'm procrastinating, being lazy, or that I don't want to be around or like anyone but all of that can't be any further than the truth

  • @A.M.6795
    @A.M.6795 Před rokem +1

    Wow! This is good!

  • @nellamorra6728
    @nellamorra6728 Před 7 měsíci

    omg...this almost made me cry..
    I was busy trying to heal from a betrayal that tore me apart
    I was busy trying to figure out how I'll get out of this horrible place I'm in.
    thanks for this❤

  • @staysam28
    @staysam28 Před 5 měsíci +1

    One of my friendships still hasn’t fully healed and it’s been 2 years. I was so busy trying to survive.

  • @MrNatural73
    @MrNatural73 Před 9 měsíci

    Stay Focus. Know You are Valued.

  • @lucyloo2520
    @lucyloo2520 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Forty-five years of slow indoctrination, combined with put downs, name calling, lies and lies and lies, I am finally sucked dry of the fire that burnt so deep within, beat down, disabled and dependent. All I have left is the waiting.

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik Před 9 měsíci

      Waiting for what?,Hope in God.He has the final say..not anyone else..

    • @lucyloo2520
      @lucyloo2520 Před 9 měsíci

      I appreciate your thought, but do not believe in a god. I'm 78, pretty much wheelchair bound the past three years. Too late to leave, just enjoying what I can as I wait to clock out. @@MattyNelson-rs3ik

  • @sjla2009
    @sjla2009 Před 9 měsíci

    I've had an 8 day migraine. 8 days and nights of pain. It hurts to sit up, it hurts to lie down. I can't sleep. I can't go shopping or cook. This began 2 weeks after leaving the narc. After 47 years under their thumb.
    I almost went to a&e thinking it must be a stroke. But it's slowly going.
    I realise now that after the initial euphoria of being free, then begins the difficult task of rebuilding me and my life. Most days I'm just in shock. Basic survival only ✔ ✅ 😢

  • @peaceandjoytoall
    @peaceandjoytoall Před 9 měsíci +1

    Document, report and expose them....if you can. Society needs to become aware, understand and try to correct this. Awareness is the first step.

  • @user-tc4ry5oo7k
    @user-tc4ry5oo7k Před 4 měsíci

    So relatable !
    Happy healing peeps ❤