Steven Seagal's Code Of Honor Is An Incoherent Mess - Worst Movie Ever
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Steven Seagal movie Code Of Honor is an embarrassment in every possible way. His acting is terrible, the plot is stupid, and the My Night Shyamalan twist is insulting. I put my own sanity on the line, and break down why this movie is so terrible.
#stevenseagal #badmovies #recap #movierecap
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THIS IS THE BEST CZcams CHANNEL IN HISTORY!!!!!!
Steven segal is being forced by the Russian Mafia to make movies to launder money. He gets to live in luxury but be pathetic and they get most of the money meant for production
The F.B.I. are fkn Jedi. 😆😆😆🤣💀
(Edited cple seconds later)
He 😆 ended with 🤣 "F u Seagal".
Aahh ha ha ha haaa
Dude, thanks for your honest work. With the help of your summaries I am now free of a burden to watch those C rated trash movies where all of my favorite actors ended up.
Same
I love how Seagal refuses to use a body double that has the same build as he actually does because he refuses to confront the fact that he has gotten fat.
We all need to have some sympathy for his casting director. "You think this guy looks lak me?"
Yeah. And he was never fit, at least not visually. He just went from skinny to fat over night, what happened there?
Yea, it's hilarious watching the fight scene of him sitting. Maybe they tried a standing scene and then quickly opted for sitting, LoL 😂😆
@Sammy 😆
@@KeithofSpades If I had to guess based on 4 years living in the USA, I'd say it was that biscuit they sell at KFC. Didn't lose the 20 lbs I put on till I came back to the UK, where you can't get it.
Damn you, British KFC. Damn you and your lack of biscuit.
You can't expect Steven to do his own dangerous stunts like standing up for 2 seconds.
AHAHAHA
Are you aware about the pressure put on his knees?
💀
It's only dangerous for his heart
Seagal is becoming the Cameron Mitchell of our generation.
Imagine being an actor on this project and believing this will be your big break.
To be fair, the blonde stripper Porter saved did get a big role in a LIfeTime movie. She was played a fatal attraction with a habit of stealing other women's husbands and when they wouldn't marry her, she'd kill them, skip town, and comeback with a new identity.
@@mephistopheles4910 sounds like a seagal movie female version
Segal's body double could probably have a somewhat regular income
@@SofaKingShit funniest comment here!!
Steven Seagal on set: "Anybody want a big break? I'll give you a big break."
Porter: isnt real
Also Porter: totally engages in noticeable conversation with people throughout the movie, during which they all acknowledge and interact with him
Seagal saw Fight Club and thought he could do a Tyler Durden
And also killed like 7 dudes and saved that stripper 😂
@@xxoptic__nutxx6877 Gotta have priorities.
@@eduardopena5893 Coincidentally, a villain dressed like Tyler Durden was in Into the Sun.
@@sharpfalcon6196 Yeah, there were some very flashy bad guys in that one. All stupid as well. In that one, Seagal is known as a Sword Master, a teacher, and appraiser. So these young gangsters who have all sorts of guns decide, eh, what the heck, let's ditch our guns and fight this sword master with swords!
I love how Seagal forces other characters to lavish him with praise on how much of a badass he is in every film.
Its my favorite part of his movies and you always know what to expect lol
Under siege was about the only segal movie any good. And ya they bragged about him as well.
Literally a kid came up with these movies or a fully grown man with a mind of a child 🤣
@@jummyran I like Nico, Out For Justice, Hard To Kill, Marked For Death, Under Siege 1 & 2 but the rest - nah lmao
@@Grandmastergav86 ya actually his beginning was good like late 80s and early 90s then going into 2000s he quit caring or something happened lol
"We get to see Seagal in his natural environment as a creepy old man at a strip club in the afternoon" 😁😂🤣- Sums him up perfectly!
it should have been "We get to see Seagal in his natural HABITAT as a creepy old man at a strip club in the afternoon" maaàaaaaaan that would have been gold
😂😂😂
HAHA so right.
bro i read this just as it popped up in the video 💀
You laugh at Seagal using a body double to walk up stairs and stuff, but it's done for very serious safety reasons. If Seagal were to accidentally trip and fall, he'd destroy the entire set and everyone in it.
Logic
So what about his dubbed voice?
@@HowToChangeName it's to keep all the women (haha!) who watch the movie from orgasming instantly from his voice
@@HowToChangeName thats for a speedy shot, when he forgot the dialogue, just dubbed it, no need to retake the scene, genius right?
@@HowToChangeName It's cause he's like Black Bolt. Even just accidentally he could still blow up the whole set and everyone in it with a whisper from his mouth.
the funny part is that most of the surrounding cast looks believable while seagal is out of place anywhere he is
Umm I dunno guy. 11:24 seems kinda unbelievable to me, those two ghosts LOL ahhhhHAHAHAH!
I don't know last time you chewed it all up with your teeth
Yeah, that was well dodgy CGI! They look like Casper the ghost! WTH!@@josephfilm73
He looks believable in strip clubs, lol
Even in real life, he's a clown in those silly outfits. It's amazing that a man can outdo Whoopi Goldberg in dressing like a total clown...
Seagal throwing himself through the skylight had me absolutely wheezing.
😂😂😂
I'm just rolling in bed, laughing uncontrollably
I couldn't help but smile when he didn't bounce not even a milimetre!
Couldn't help but think of the Cowardly Lion jumping through the window after meeting the wizard.
It was like a Chris Farley bit.
That CGI helicopter scene was pure gold. Thank you.
Jedi Masters.
It looked worse than those Ugandan action movies.
@@victorcoleman949 lol
This is on Par with Samurai Cop.
I laughed SO HARD
I’ve been binge watching this channel for the past 7 hours
Right there with you
i know. it is addictive ....
because of Seagal's movies
@@visitante-pc5zc i guarantee you that aint it
Its awesome! Binge worthy. Hilarious.
The strip club thing is crazy, he literally hasn't made a movie in 20 years that doesn't have a strip club scene in it.
It is part of his egomaniac power fantasy: he sits in a strip club and is "the boss" who calls all the shots or actually kills or shags anyone who tickles his fancy...
In stark contrast, in real life, when he is sitting in a strip club, he is a pathetic creep, loooong past his peak (which was build on scams from the very beginning), with no friends, except those he pays.
Well how else is he ever going to see a great body? It's not like a beautiful woman will voluntarily take all her clothes off for a huge fat man!
And those glasses and that scarf and a black coat.
@@bennygerow so true lol
It is the Seagal version of meeting at an Inn when you start a D&D campaign.
His skills in hand to hand combat, guns and eating cheeseburgers is... unmatched.
Yeah man! Seagal rulezzz!
Wait ....what!?
cheesewhaaaaaa?
*hand to mouth combat
Let's not forget about Seagal's hand-to-mouth combat capabilities, which are also, unmatched. Seagal is able to dispatch a cheeseburger in under 5 seconds, ready for the next :D
@@marximus4 💀💀💀
Also skill of taking nap and sunbathing
I really can't tell if he really doesn't care, or if he actually thinks his movies are good
Answer: Yes.
@@Mattastrophic1 🤣
what do you mean these movies are awesome segal is badass
this is what happens when a stupid person tries to make a vigilante movie like death wish. no realistic characterization, no believable motive, incoherent plot, protagonist is a delusional self insert.
@@cagneybillingsley2165 what are you talking about man this has plenty of character segal is badass
“He doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t sleep around..and uh..he doesn’t sleep around either.” Holy shit. Such valuable information.
didn't smoke either*
Yet in real life he’s a sexual predator who has decided to be Russian.
And he doesn't sleep around
He might could love the f__k outta cookies.
"He's a child"
''would you give your life to save the world if no one knew you did it'' is actually pretty deep for Seagal. It's not deep for anyone else, but it is for Seagal, because it demonstrates that he can wrap his head around the idea that there might be things that are worth doing without the motive of gaining people's attention -- which is a pretty big almost-revelation for a narcissist.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day
I’d go as far to say that Seagal is probably the eminent philosopher of our time.
any criminal activity, basically
@@Styxswimmer seagal would be an unplugged digital one
It is just another line for him to show how bad ass he is. He's saving the world every day and nobody even knows about it. What a guy.
There should be a “Seagal Award” for every supporting actor. It is a superhuman feat to play a serious character in a Seagal movie. They should be busting up laughing
@@notfiveo bollywood would sweep this sub category every damn time. Seagal award for actor, actress , supporting actor/actress in a movie.
I bet most of them don't even know who he is.
Segal award for the stuntmen actually
What's funny is that a lot of the supporting actors aren't half-bad and more fun to watch fighting than Seagal himself. They deserve their own movies.
"there is no way a guy 70 years old and 300 pounds walks away from that" lmao!
steven said that he trained bruce lee so of course he can walk after that
Hahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@divacroft1034 False. He never said he trained Bruce, he said he met him at James Coburn's house. Coburn was a mutual friend.
@@AztecUnshaven he trained bruce lee
I expect nothing less from a man who said hes tougher than Jean Claude Van Damme
This movie should just be called Steven Seagal's Bourne Identity of a Fight Club Equalizer in the Beautiful Mind of a Lethal Weapon (Director's Cut)
lol
Hilarious 😆 LMAO
The production was filmed entirely inside Segal’s ego. All characters are based on Steven’s own one dimensional persona.
just like all his movies
This is an interesting theory
Broo🤣🤣🤣
Must be why New York is surrounded by a desert and looks like Vegas...
i dont t think its a theory @@xyoungdipsetx
People getting mowed down with bullets and that lady is just hitting her glass pipe like nothing 😭😭😭😭😆
OG
Nothing gets in the way of a crack whore and her pipe.
Priorities.
The only realistic thing about this movie.
Scene shot in s.f.
Steven Seagal has given this guy enough material to roast him for 2 lifetimes.
😂😂😂😂
"This is Keri. A stripper who really does not need to be in the movie." I can see two big reasons why she's in the movie.
They’re not even that big but at least they’re real.
69th like ❤
I love how he "saves" the hooker in a way that ensures she is the primary suspect to her bosses murder
I think that's a completely random hooker that doesn't have anything to do with the plot
Hilarious point
🤣😂🙂🙃😂🤣
Honestly its remarkable how Steven Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction.
he has an oscar though...
@@fabiokaya202 Lol what? He does not have an Oscar. Not sure why you thought that or maybe you’re being sarcastic???
@@maciek8159 you’re trolling right? He absolutely has an oscar lmao 🤣
Its actually inspiring
@@fabiokaya202 Lol yeah, a bunch of razzies.
I like how Seagal is so full of himself that he insists he teaches the police how to shoot yet he doesn't even attempt to simulate recoil on a sniper rifle.
Recoil doesn't affect him ... He obviously uses his 7th Dan Aikido skills to turn the rifle's recoil against the rifle
@@bluenote4727 lol
@@bluenote4727 recoil-ception 🤣🤣 Stevens on another plane of existence
I think it’s just due to the amount of weight he uses to keep the rifle down. I mean he definitely has some padding
Dude he's got the cheat code for no recoil, it's F7 using WeMod
Say what you like about Seagal, nobody in Hollywood can sit, or mumble, like he can. The man has both down to a fine art.
He also has a wide range of accents he can pull off that anthropologists will tell you don't exist in any human society.
He can most certainly sit like a muthafucka.
That "fuck you Seagal" at the end was very genuine and from the heart ❤
People laughing and making fun of him but don’t realize he’s an actual gravy seal
No he was not he played the role of a navy seal in 1992 , I just looked
@@kingkong81icloud "gravy"
@@musashi66973 lol I missed it
HAHAHA🤣🤣🤣
@@davesnothere2782 🤣🤣🤣
"Would you give your life to save the world, if nobody knew you did it?"
Wow, man, just wow..
That is so deep coming from Seagal. Mind completely blown until..
I immediately remembered that every movie he has ever made is all about him saving the world and letting everyone know he did it
that's why he asks the question, he wants to know if it's even possible to not want the recognition
Better dialogue than a Vince Gilligan project tbh.
@@geort45 lmao
he posed a good question though
@@cheefqueef6494 bizarre troll out of no where
I love it when he tumbles through the sky light and lands like a sack of potatoes below 😂
i was literally crying when i saw that 🤣
@@skylinerudy yeah that was something huh 🤣🤣💦💦🥔🥔
Dropped to the ground like a turd dropping into the toilet bowl…
😂😂😂
*thud*
I spit my gum out when he jumped thru the skylight at the end and just splatted on the floor like a elephant turd 🤣
The CGI guys inside the helicopter is absolutely legendary.
I guess you meant the Jedi.
Modern time Jedi. With Guns
@@SSDD168 those guns work via The Force instead of gunpowder
That was insulting
He should’ve had a high school AV student do the editing so it came out better.
"What if I ripped off The Punisher and Fight Club at the same time"
I think the premise is fine, but it has to be intelligently written lol
"if you say, you don't have goosebumps, right now. Then you are a God-damned liar" - absolute comedy gold.
I laughed so hard haha 🎃
So...Seagal was just fighting air on top of the building like a crazy person? And talking to no one in the strip club/bar? That's such a self own and Seagal's far too dumb to realize it.
Him falling through the sky light was like the opening of Mr Bean.
Ahahahahahahaha
3000 likes. Haha.
The funniest shit ive seen in a while
💀💀 damn, i wish this was in the video
11:08 the funniest part is that was the most realistic fall for a death scene in a Segall movie But then he just stands up like he diddnt brutally hit the ground like a sack of wet cement
his knife disappeared as well when they switched away the body double lmao
As a sack of wet cement 😂 had me dying, but when I saw it I get exactly what you mean. Hahaha so good
@@FatalShotGG thats wrong, my dad left cementbags out in the open and the rain made them heavy as shit because the water got inside..
That's because his stunt double took the brunt of the fall.
I've got to be honest, Porter and Carrie both seem like semi-realistic and grounded characters. Their actors did a great job with what they were given. Just from this video (as I would never watch a Seagal movie) Porter even makes fight scenes that Seagal wrote look decent, which is incredible. That bomb under the chair fight looked pretty cool, as did Porter's other fights. He didn't need a body double to keep jumping in so that was probably a plus, and I guess I'm likely comparing him to Seagal... which is something I shouldn't do, because it makes Porter's actor look like the greatest action star in the world
Both those actors have been acting for quite a while. The girl ...Matthesson is the actress' last name but, she has a sister as well, seems to be getting more famous. She's done a ton of commercials, but she appears to have the lead role in some future projects. Porter's actor was in One Tree Hill I think, and other stuff from the '00s and early '10s. He probably took this role because he needed a job where as she is filling out her resume. She was in iron man 2, the surrogates, and something else all with legitimate actors
He got shot in one tree hill...by seagal!!
She was the reporter who slept with iron man?
@@Az-ov1ti Space Ice: ...for no f***ing reason!
I hope the blonde girl playing the "hooker" part isn't a victim of sexual assault like many of Seagal costar or extras when he does the casting for the movie, once he raped an extra in 1991 called Regina (can't remember the surname) search it on Google you can find many sexual assault accounts on him. He's a monster
Seagal looks like a 500 pound sack of potatoes when he jumped through the skylight. The “jump” looked more like a trip and fall.
I laughed so hard I started coughing when Seagal went through the roof window and landed. That scene beats any comedy out there
Best comment here. Died 🤣
I love how his body double lands like a sack of potatoes. The only reason to land like that is if you're trying to kill yourself, and if you didn't die, you will surely wish you had.
Looks like a scene out of Superhero Movie 😂
they forgot the greasy spot on the floor where he landed..
Seagal imitating Chris Farley! OMG!!
One of the weirdest things in Seagal'sdirect-to-USb masterpieces is his use of body doubles just for standing shots, I really cannot find any reasonable reason to why he cannot STAND himself.
He has better things to do than standing in his own movies.
They didn't have a chair to bring him
Because he's so self conscious about his weight and physical fitness, he's trying to convince himself that he actually looks like his body double.
He got too tired from standing and decided to drink the surplus supply of his now defunct energy drink.
You need the body double to do the standing around so sagal can lie down while the other double can dump a wheelbarrow load of fried chicken in his mouth! To maintain a figure like that you have to put in the work!
Fat Segal "rappelling" on shitty green screen broke me. The fact that you go on is a testament to your dedication, my good man. I'm ready to just pack it up and go home after that scene. It looks so God awful.
The amazing thing is, he managed to top that scene multiple times during that same movie...
I love that seagal is playing a 70 year old colonel who’s still out and about, rappelling from rooftops and jumping through skylights.
😂 I grew up dirt poor. Literally only VHS tapes we had was movies like I see on this channel. I thought these movies were so good. Now I can see them for what they really are.
So bad it’s good
It's all good some people saw this man at the picture show (movie theater)(my 8th grade history teacher was 90 in ' 96). I mean I love vam damage and Stallone etc but ole Steve here ...lol 😂
I'm the same, but in all honesty all we had was Seagal and Van Damme...neither were really great movie makers who had really shallow plots and no character development.
To be fair, Steven's early movies like Under Siege weren't that bad. His recent ones are zero effort though
Yeah, watch the moon landing originals
Love how ridiculously he tries to sell himself as a spec ops guy, with the backwards baseball cap, scarf, polarized glasses, and goatee.
He's special alright, but in a different way
Sadly, this is one of his better ones
I dig the idea that the stripper had like dozen bodies in her apartment and outside it for a couple days before she decided that she might wanna report this, maybe someone might come clean them up or something. Or the neighbors started complaining about the flies.
What’s mind boggling is the body doubles bodies not only are very different (doubles are much slimmer,) but the action/fight scenes when the double is very agile, fast, and fluid but then when it’s Seagal turn to show just his upper body and face, he’s so much slower. The contrast is incredibly blatant and obvious.
He has to be trolling us with all these “movies.” He cannot possibly like and be happy with them.
They are simply cash grabs and/or money laundering schemes. He's not doing them to be happy.
Sadly I think he really does believe he is all that but dude I thought about this for a while. Imagine if he came out one day and said he did it for laughs and is really a comedian. Then laughs at himself for once. Would probably be famous again.
I am a classically trained Shakespearian actor and it has always been my dream to work on a Seagal project. I believe I could really bring a lot of pathos to the character of 'man or woman who sings Seagal's praises.'
A sort of Falstaff to Seagals Henry IV ( obviously shortened to just Henry….IV would be the sequel)... Set in the early 1400s, Seagal goes undercover to take down a gang of drug dealing travelling minstrels taking control of olde England.
@@lookandlisten5740 COMING THIS SUMMRE: One Manne’s quest to defende his Kingdom and his Lady’s Honour. Stephen Seegalle starres as MICHAELE MANNINGTON: a humble (yet incredibly Skilled) elite Archer of the Royal Corps. When, at a Taverne of Ill Repute, he overheares a FOUL PLOT against KING AND COUNTRY, this strapping younge Man must TAKE UP ARMS to save his People. Will Mannington be able to stand against the Rogues, Villains & Blackguards that threaten the Kingdom he holds Deare? FIND OUT AT A THEATRE NEARE YOU.
ONE MANNE’S HONOUR: COMING SUMMRE 1433.
@@bruhman5829 Excellent.
@@bruhman5829Huzzah!
@@bruhman5829dude that was amazing. 😂
I'm unironically grateful for Steven Seagal's determination to keep making more movies.
,*inspired by
What you said is super-ironic considering the channel to which you have posted.
How the hell are these movies getting bankrolled?
@@Judge_Meridian I'm starting to think Space Ice is messing with us and this is really just the same movie 11 times.
@@Judge_Meridianthe southern mob
They pay him and they money launder using these straight to dvd movies
I've met a few people like Steven. They were so hard to be around. They just believed with all their heart, that they are the greatest thing to walk the earth. Even worse, no matter how embarrassed or wrong they ever was, it was done on purpose and they meant to do it 🙄
This could have been a decent movie, but like always his ego got in the way
Could’ve been a funny review, but your voice is terrible
Yeah this movie could have been great with a different writer, script, and leading man
@@liamroddy420 and genre
@@theingush9667 and director
And budget
Steven Seagal as the Punishit?
Is that like a shitty version of the punisher? If so im all for it
The Punishatetoomanypies
The progression of his movies is amazing. He went from "acting" in movies with big name celebrities (Tommy Lee Jones, Colm Meaney, Keenen Ivory Wayans, etc.) to having rappers in his movies, to have people I can only assume cut his lawn and dye his felt GI Joe like hair star as the "bad guys".
Do you really think his hair is made of felt? You might be right.
i recognize the potter guy from one of the saw movies im pretty sure
@@jumpinjohnnyruss I think it’s a glued hairpiece 😂
GI Joe hair lmao
Lol @ the hair comment!
“Only a military grade bomb can cause destruction of this magnitude.” The blast didn’t even destroy the entire building.
The twist actually makes the unbelievably in shape body doubles make sense. When any athleticism is required he switches over to his alter ego.
LMFAO!
The jumping through a sky window on the roof is probably the most realistic thing that would happen to Seagal if he did all this IRL 😂
Acting as if he is affected by gravity...yeah, he could manage that. Maybe.
@@Trollificusv2 Just make sure we're not on a fault line when he lands 🤣
I have no trouble believing that Seagal could bust through a skylight and land on a floor thirty feet below. It's the idea of him getting back up again that I struggle with.
...Actually, I struggle with the idea that he wouldn't go straight through the floor as well, and continue on through all the floors until he reached the basement and registered a 6.9 on the Richter scale.
6.9? Dude, it's Seagal. So it would be at least a 25, because he is the best even at richter scales.
My dad was the ultimate connoiseur of cheesy action films, there wasn't an action movie from the 70's, 80's, 90's or 2000's that he never saw, but even he was starting to get fed up with Seagal's later work
Thank you for sharing your story! Feels good man, and it's funny
I don’t understand the praise for segal even in his early days. His movies were always crap.
He was just an ultra violent character who has connections with martial arts.
Once upon a time, I liked his movies. Then I turned 10 & stopped drinking brandy
then surely he saw the program with James caan. and this dude was his co star
Great video, and what a terrible movie 🤣
So Ed Nortons imaginary alter ego is trim and cut Brad Pitt...and "Porter's" super soldier alter ego is 300lb Seagal? That's an impoverished imagination if ever I have seen one!
Spoiler alert!
Especially when Nightbreed is a better action film than any Seagal film (including the first Under Siege)
Hey, Seagal saved the world without anybody finding out about it. Give him some credit.
I really hope Seagal doesn't stop making movies just so Space Ice will never stop making these videos.
Seagal should make a movie where SpaceIce is the badguy and Seagal has to travel the globe attempting to shut down his social media feeds
1:52 I don't know why, but that "What the f*ck, man" has me in literal tears 😂😂
Please give this man medal for watch all of Seagal movies that ever existed 🙌
Being in a Seagal movie is a great way to ensure you're never hired to be in a real movie.
Oh yeah its a surefire way to kill your whole career. :D From this bunch of actors though, Helena Mattssons is the one who still got roles that she can be proud of. Although I guess because she's still hot. Other than her, maybe Louis Mandylor's doing somewhat fine..
It must be a good weekend, surely?
You must not realize that accomplished actor Tommy Lee Jones was not only in a Seagal movie, but he was the main bad guy. This was in Seagal's earlier movies. 1992 "Under Seige"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@coreymartin6486 Yeah before the direct to video garbage. Probably one of his only decent movies. That or they paid him A LOT of money.
The "Jedi" comment literally made me spit out some of my breakfast. :)
Me too, funniest part of the video
Yeah, me too 😂😂
I don't think I've seen a worse CGI job ever...tbf I don't watch many movies but damn that was bad
@@randomfacaYeah, people complain about Superman's upper lip in Justice League. When it comes to CGI, I usually don't get that particular about bad CGI, but the FBI special effect looked terrible even for me 😂
Seagull can actually stop crime in the entire NY city. Not even Batman could do that holy shit.
You are getting Gotham and NYC mixed up, easy mistake to make to be fair. Same thing.
He sees himself as Batman, Optimus Prime, Anakin Skywalker, Superman, Dirty Harry, Neo, and John McClane all in the same body, so of course he believes he can magically stop all crime in NYC
I can't stop laughing the narration is absolute gold, sub earned 🤣
I love that you never refer to his character’s name, just simply Seagal. Brilliant!
The Jedi bit had me rolling 😂
That was so f***ing funny!!!!
@@thevisualedge9346 I don’t know how he doesn’t laugh at himself 😂
11:26😂
@@obitoxshinobi8978 😂😂😂
I respect the creator of this channel. He has devoted his time, efforts and resources to torture himself watching Seagal movies and extracting the funny out of them, and present them to us in an entertaining way. I respect that.
I can also say that Space Ice really must hate Seagal's guts to chase his ass and mock him all around..
this is awesome
Seagal's lack of self awareness and belief in his own hype is top notch for a man. Not even CM Punk can top that.
Gottdamn ya dug an old example out the vault wit that CM name drop, well done my dude I see you're a Man of culture as well lol
So true. To CM Punk's credit though at least he has had public fights in the UFC. CM lost badly but he actually fought in public. The only fight Seagal has had in public is with hunger and keeps losing.
You've put the cart before the horse.. it was Dana White who was high on the thought of another Lesnar-esque money train rolling in after UFC's business being in rough shape in 2014, when he talked him into signing a multi-fight contract right away (in opposite of a vastly younger and more athletically gifted Lesnar, funnily enough, who had to jump through hoops before getting a shot, back when White and the Fertittas were still super-concerned about UFC's perceived credibility).
I remember, around his second fight, CM Punk being criticized for not displaying any of the showmanship and super-confident trashtalk people got to know him for in WWE, but he refrained from doing so in UFC, since he was perfectly aware that he was a total underdog competing in professional MMA.
Pootin maybe? Aren't they best friends?
I absolutely love how no one has showed him how to correct hold a rifle. The butt of the rifle is ALWAYS above his shoulder. Its hilarious
This is Steven "Too Fat To Be In Expendables 3" Seagal, he can hold any weapon whichever way he likes, and he never misses the target. Show some respect.
There is a technique called 'short stocking' where you do this to effectively shorten the barrel of a weapon. I imagine Segal uses it so often because he heard about it once and thinks it makes him look cool.
It's amazing how there is absolutely NO recoil whatsoever when he fires a round. Follow up shots are instantaneous and never miss as a result.
@@smbchc More like "Expandables"
@@killaken2000 only time it was ever a thing is for room clearing and tight quarters. He just saw that and thought it was cool as fuck and used it ever since
I love how these movies are slowing driving this guy insane lol
Hold on, so knowing the ekhm "plot twist" it means that the scene in the dance club is basically one man wearing a wire who walks into the place, plants a bomb under the chair, then fucking sits on it and talks to himself for a while before he drops to the floor and starts killing random bad guys while sliding around... this is so exceedingly dumb I nearly fainted from laughter
The scene where he lightly rolls through a skylight and smacks the floor at 200mph is pure comedy gold!!🤣🤣🤣
i dont get the "worst movie ever" label since the movie is kind of funny and at least a "so bad its good" kind of film. There are much cringier films and movies who are just absolutely dull and lifeless and people will buy a corny movie or a funny shitty movie but not a dull film.
Nah, this is an unwatchable turd. I'd rather drink racing gas than watch one second of it.
Wait so if Porter wasn't real, we must imagine every scene with Porter was happening in Seafood Seagal mind, or else everybody that talked with Porter at one point were hallucinating or something. If we consider it this way, it's actually an old veteran with severe dissociative identity disorder that goes around exploding random buildings(remember, none of the characters Porter interact with are real)..that's terrifying
This movie was written such that it makes no sense. Psycho, fight club, etc all did the dissociative personality brilliantly. This film obviously went with the first draft.
This movie is just so advanced and smart for you to understand.
Jedi fbi we’re amazing
Clearly you're wasting more effort for this movie than Seagal did
The movie actually takes place in Seagal's mind while he's sitting at the strip club in the afternoon.
Was having a really shitty day. Got home and stumbled onto your channel. Subscribed immediately. Can't remember the last time I laughed this hard
Hope you have a nice day today 🙂
Exactly the same happened to me. Insta subbed. This is great stuff. I hope your days gets better :-)
Same.Felt like being in a Seagal movie then decided to watch one....
One thing I realized is that a lot of Seagal movies feature characters who would be so much better suited as the main character than him. Porter is actually pretty cool, & if the movie revolved around him, it would be so much better.
I worked for a night club in Memphis, where Steven Seagal opened for B.B. King. I thank you for the experience Stevie! After your pathetic musical set, we knew exactly who's music to play at the end of every night, to chase out the drunk and sober alike! 😃
How the hell could B.B. King allow Steven Seagal to open for him??
@@AuH2O Well, I'm not sure. Because after Stevie "Lil Bitch" Seagal played it was Bo Diddley, and then B.B. 🤔
@@AuH2O Seagal was a nightmare. Paired with two living (at the time) titans of the blues industry and historical narrative.....🤔... somehow money must have been involved.....
7:56 The entire thing is hilariously bad but when it cuts to him "typing" and he's randomly pressing function keys, I laughed so hard I almost hurt myself.
yeah, like he's some kind of ninja typist, loved it.
"There's no way a 70 year old 300 pound man walked away from that!" I literally laughed out loud
I watched this movie while on quarantine in Iraq. I remember because there’s a strip club scene and I stood up and yelled “I know that club!” Because it was the Northern X Posure club in SLC… one of only two clubs in that part of Utah.. and my whole crew thought I was an absolute deviant who knows all strip clubs on sight.
I heard he was part of Meal Team 6.
He starred in the hit TV series Commander in Cheese.
He is a master of Kung Food.
He once inhaled a seagull.
Semper Pie.
I'm in love this guy's voice. he was born just to make fun of flabby Seagal movies
The first video I watched I almost turned off because his voice was annoying me, but I stuck it out, and glad that I did. Now I can't imagine another voice doing these videos. The entire delivery is perfect, especially his newer videos where he has refined things.
4:18 For a movie called Code of Honor, that was sure unhonorable
"For reasons that aren't explained, seagal blows up the whole floor. "
What the hell are you talking about, man?? He's an EXPERT button-pusher. This has been established in the SSCU and is cannon.
I really admire this guy. He suffered through all these "awesome" movies to make them enjoyable for us!
I wouldn't say the movies are awesome...😅🤣 At least not the Seagal ones. 🤣
I wonder how casting to this movies looks like:
"Wanna be in Steven Seagal movie?"
Louis Mandylor: "yeah... I just need a break from shitty movies in some comedy"
EVERY Seagal movie from his vast catalogue of work, has got to be THE SINGLE WORST MOVIE that I've ever seen.
Seagal owns the production company that makes these. Which means these somehow make money.
Blows my mind
My theory is that Seagal's movies are some eastern European money laundering scheme, maybe for some Russian oligarch who needs to get around sanctions
LoL. There is someone out there actually buying his movies 😂
@@rashidmartialarts9513 Russia loves Segal
There are still really people in other countries that don't know how bad these are. Check out Bollywood garbage, which is only slightly better than this shit.
or the Russian mob uses his production company as a money laundering scheme.
The problem with Space Ice's recaps of Steven Seagal's movies is that, once you watch one, you get addicted and you need to watch all.
Every successful actor: shows the audience how awesome he is.
Every Seagal movie: makes every other actor tell him how awesome he is so he can convince himself he isn't a complete joke.
And then convincing the audience that what they were seeing is might could have just been all an illusion.
I love it how the car the hooker was dropped of had no licence plates. Thanks Mr. Seagal for giving us something soo bad it made me scream.
How am I discovering this channel just now!! This is what "cinemasins" thinks it is. I admire both the comical wrtting and the voice actor punctuating the jokes. What a great sensation to find a gem like this, knowing Im gonna binge watch all their vids. Thanks for this content.
CinemaSins would be a lot better if they went back to pointing out continuity errors, plot holes, dumb logic, and overly used tropes. Granted a lot of the fun of bad movies is how bad they are but Space Ice excels over CinemaSins because it feels like he's pointing out actual issues and not just nit-picking to pad out the video.
cinemasins admitted they’re not film critics; they’re assholes.
@@jcohasset23 Come on, this guy is literally criticizing Seagal for the dumbest shit, like being fat and fighting on a chair, it has become a cult dedicated to shitting not only on his movies and his acting but on him as a person as well…
@@halfcutonion6342 Oh you're not wrong about Space Ice. His videos make me laugh pretty hard but after watching Steven Seagal videos of his films and both of his tv series on other channels you can tell Space Ice exaggerates and edits things to make Seagal look worse. Whether he's praising a film or taking a dump on it he's definitely taking the piss out of it.
I feel sorry for the pretty blonde actress 😞 😔 😟 🙁 😥 😿,..
One can only imagine the horrors that she went through to get the part..
He definitely had a say in her getting the the part
given what we know about segal and his "appetite" when it comes to women i would feel bad for any chick thats even move quickly through his movie....
Those "highly intelligent and great actresses" made their choice tho, not like anybody twisted their arms to either part they legs or show their lack of a gag reflex lol
@@deathbysodomy4124 "not like anybody twisted their arms to either part they legs or show their lack of a gag reflex lol" well you never really know in some parts of the world lol... 99 % of this planet is shit hole----- hard to tell how it really looks like on the set of Seagull movies when one consider what ilk of people he is friend with....
Seagal certainly creeped on her, it's a normal Seagal behaviour. He pays the movie, he creeps.
@@archongaur1191 Unlikely, since moving quickly is the way to easily escape from him
Never forget - no matter how badly your life is going, at least you’re not Steven Seagal’s agent
At least you're not his female love interest co-star in one of his movies.
I lost it at the cgi helicopter scene😂😂😂😂
To be fair Porter was actually pretty badass in this. Can we get some more Porter movies?
Porter never existed, he might could have been an illusion
Segal must've realized Porter was cooler than him in this movie, so he wrote at the end that Porter doesn't exist lmao.
@@panner11 that some egoistic s*** he did there