my spiritual journey
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- čas přidán 25. 08. 2024
- TRIGGER WARNING:
This video discusses sexuality and religious trauma. If that is a trigger point for you, please do not watch this video.
PATREON LINK: / karissalove
Hello my angels!
Today's video was very highly requested from all of you, and it's a type of video I have never made before. This is by far the most vulnerable I have ever been on this channel, and I felt called to share this part of my life with you all.
This video is broken into 4 chapters:
Early Childhood & Indoctrination
Purity Culture and the damage it created
My journey to witchcraft
Book Recommendations
I hope you can sit through this video start to finish, and hear my story, and perhaps gain something from it.
DISCLAIMER:
This video is not meant to offend any person or organization, every word is simply my experience and truth, and you do not have to agree, but I do expect basic respect towards me, my story, and my subscribers. Any hate comment will be deleted, only love on this channel is allowed.
I love you all, and am always appreciative of your support. :)
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'purity culture is a thief of female sexuality' that really hit strong on me
what you said about witchcraft embraces femininity really hit me. i feel like witches always get such a bad reputation just because we are women and women have always been looked down on. meanwhile wizards (although not being the exact same as a witch i think?) are looked up to and are known for their wisdom
just looking at a google result and i found this for ex:
Witch: A witch is a woman who is believed to have evil and magical powers and who practices sorcery.
Wizard: Wizard is a man who is supposed to have magical powers.
witch: a person thought to have magic powers, especially evil ones, popularly depicted as a woman wearing a black cloak and pointed hat and flying on a broomstick.
wizard: a man who has magical powers, especially in legends and fairy tales.
Weird how witches are mostly represented as evil and wizards are worshiped for their wisdom
@@V3NUS888well, that's partly incorrect, or better is not the full truth there as sadly during the infamous witch hunt lot of males ended up accused of witchcraft.
But the "funny" thing there is that females were targeted because the first ever book about witches (and that started the witch hunt) was written by a man who was super pissed over a woman rejecting him so as a "revenge" he wrote that book.
Thats mostly why witches are more likely portrayed as evil womans, i mean since the earth was formed we know that males where considered to be "better" then womans so is not really surprising
@@kelle494 interesting
Witchcraft is working with demons period youre all are sugarcoating things
as a christian teenager, im so sorry you had to go through that. sometimes many churches are stuck with such old and wrong traditions and that’s so wrong. the thing is that most of these things are not even true and not even based on the bible and Jesus’s teachings. christianity is a relationship with Jesus, not a religion. it’s really inspiring and cool to see how far youve come! i’ll be praying for you and ur journey, sending sm love 🫶🏻
so excited as a girly who is also trying to evolve spiritually. u give me so much inspiration to grow my own magic bb!
so beautiful and highly inspirational to listen to as a girl who’s raised in a christian household :)
I was born in an Islamic family and islamic country. I'm drawn into witchcraft, and I recently realized I should trust my intuition with out knowingit'spart of the craft .I'm still scared to talk about it or begin doing it , but deep down, I just know this is my way , I have no idea what to do
Do what feels right, listen to your heart 🤍
Don’t practice witchcraft. It’s satanic. Stay holy!!
Give it time and consider if you would dedicate your life to it
i used to be muslim too, i was sooo scared of disobeying what i thought was god, what i thought was someone or something who loved me. and though im still hiding it from my family that im not a practicing muslim, im now a pagan/witch. i left and ive never been happier. i was also always drawn to witchcraft. trust your gut, you are always stronger than you believe. 💗
As a girl of a muslim family I can relate on every level possible. Especially growing up purity had been the “hot- taboo -topic” for my family. Guilt and shame were and still partly are a big part in my life. I’m glad you could overcome your inner fears and go through with filming and uploading this video, as I know it is very hard to talk about. I’m wishing you all the best, light, love🙏🏻
omg I feel u on this as well growing up in the m muslim community- healing takes time and sometimes doing little self care rituals for myself do help alleviate the anxiety surounding purity - sending you loads of hugs sis xx
@@alera0072same I do little rituals in secret but I’m too affraid that my family would discover it one day
karissa, i appreciate your honesty and strength that you had to obtain to make this video. never let anyone invalidate your feelings and your spiritual journey. this video will help make a lot of people feel more seen in their journey too. keep your head up high. after all, we’re all just here to learn and grow.
As someone who's family was on the extreme side of evangelical Christianity, and has severe religious trauma and purtily culture issues, I identified with this video. Thank you for your bravery in making this video. It's inspiring.💖 The phrase "no wonder I have anxiety" really hit home.
@Perspephone's Ivy I want to see demonstration of the powers!!!!!!!!!
It's appointed once for man to die! And then the JUDGEMENT!
Hey beautiful. You deeply resonate with me. I did not grow up Christian in my family but I did grow up in the Bible Belt. I was the “town slut” and have been over sexualized since I was a teenager. I am also a witch who began their journey with building fairy houses. You are lovely & I so am so enjoying your content 💓💓
I wanna share my own journey Karissa. Firstly, thank you so much for this video. I am a 19 years old girl who lives in Turkey. I have very strict Muslim parents. Thankfully even though our ideas are not aligned, we all had a good relationship. But my parents always expected me to act in a certain way. They never ever let me wear the things I wanted to wear. When I was in middle school, I used to change my clothes in wherever I could find. Sometimes I would get caught. Either my parents would come to my school to visit me and see my inappropriate(!) clothes or they would see some pictures that we took with my friends where I wore clothes they did not let me to wear. We would fight a lot after these, sometimes they would beat me for that. They never made any problem about the things that normal parents do such as low grades. They would only care about those kind of things. I remember one time when I was 12 and my dad was dropping me to school at 6 am in the morning and he called me a whore because I wore a different color of pants than he wanted me to wear :) He never even apologized. When I finished middle school, my family sent me to a boarding quran course. After 3 months of staying there I came back to home and my family said that I had to wear a hijab. That was something that I was always afraid of because my family always threatened me about it. When I started high school, I decided that I was not a Muslim anymore (took me long enough:d) I was an atheist for 2 years and I started to get really curious about the universe. Meanwhile, I would get out of the house at 6 am with a hijab, took it off when I am in the staircases and go to school and after the school I would again wear my hijab in the staircases and go home. One day I was late to school, I quickly got ready and rushed to my bus, I removed my hijab again. Little did I know that my mom was watching me from the balcony:) They did not send me school for 2 weeks and I had exams in those weeks but they still did not let me. I passed that grade with a very low score. They caught me a lot after that. Each time we fought a lot but I never stopped doing it. Whenever they caught me they would always get my phone away from me so I would just sit in my room all day long. One day my mom came to my room and said "do whatever you want" That's exactly what I did. I did not wear hijab anymore. Then pandemic hit and I started to get really curious about spirituality. And I found something called Spiritual Satanism. I loved it at first sight. It is not like an evil act or anything. It was a lot different than the Satanism I knew. (Could you imagine being Satanist in a Muslim household :D) After some time, I realized that it was not for me due to some of their ideas. And my mom caught me again:d She was super super angry with me but they did not do anything. I was so connected with myself, I always meditated and I was in a good state when it came to spirituality. But after my mom caught me I got scared to continue because I was getting ready for university exam and I was afraid of them not letting me go to university. So I stopped everything that is related to spirituality. I now have more freedom since I got into my dream university and I live in a different city most of the time. I've been trying to get back into my spirituality but I just could not do that. Because spirituality in my mind is connected to Spiritual Satanism and I don't want to practice Satanism anymore. But this video made me realize the things I appreciated in spirituality (festivals, nature, meditation, spells, moon rituals) are all connected to witchcraft, not to satanism. From this day on, I will practice witchcraft. I feel so relieved and so happy right now. Thank you so much for the inspiration, I've been struggling so much about this, you made everything crystal clear🧚♀💖🪄
I'm so sorry to hear what you had to be thru 😢. More power to u and I hope u find urself thru something that u connect w. ❤
@@daidipyaa omg thank u sm😭💖honestly i've been feeling really good recently :) again, thank you so much and i wish you the best of everything💜
Islam is not what your parents are doing to you . islam means peace and its the right path darling . I think u should read more about the real islam so that u can take the right path 🕊
@@Angelzh72 here we go again:) i read a lot about Islam, believe me, I know what it is. You guys claiming it is the right path is disturbing to me. I will not discuss with you, I know that Muslims will never listen anyways. Thank you for being nice tho :) But I will no longer follow this path.
@@melinadeshas a Muslim women I appreciate your perspective. It’s important to be open minded as everyone experiences are very different. I’m glad you are happy because honestly life is too short to be afraid and miserable. Much love ❤
this gives me comfort as an ex-christian that I am where I need to be and im safe on this journey thank you so so much Karissa
you are truly so divine, beautiful, and strong. it’s often overlooked how much trauma the church can create for young children. I hope you have a blessed day and thank you for sharing ♡
Omg, I got goosebumps watching this. Especially when you said your “girlhood was tainted by thinking about your own death and a promise you could never keep”. This really hit home for me as I grew up in a super strict anglican christian church, and now I have gotten into spirituality. you seem to have created such a beautiful life for yourself and I hope that one day I can do the same 💕💕your channel means so much to me, sending you love
religious trauma is not in my background, however a chronic (often) terminal illness is. i've been diagnosed since birth, and your phrase "the very early stages of my life were spent preparing for my death" is such a horrifyingly relatable thing to hear. there's such a specific kind of under-the-surface mourning that comes with it that can't really be truly processed until later in life. growing up being aggressively aware of your own mortality too early like that does something to you. it takes strength to share a pain like this, or a story so personal; it really shows the effort and the work it takes to build yourself up again. thank you for sharing, and i hope things only get better for you (:
I cannot WAIT to watch this video from you, as someone with my own religious trauma and forging and finding my way to witchcraft and my own spirituality. While I don't know the exact contents of the video yet, I just want to say I'm sorry for whatever you've been through and thank you for opening up about something so personal!
I really really understand you. I started questioning my beliefs I’m 17 rn I started questioning my beliefs early on I’d say about 10 years old. My family are strict Christians but luckily my mom has stopped forcing me to go to church after going since I was 2 years old after a lot of persuading. There’s so much I could say but after loosing my granny and dealing with chronic fatigue and bpd I healed my body with my subconscious mind. There’s so much more I could say but spirituality has changed my life and I am now able to see auras and meditate often. You are so inspiring to me ❤
wow. you're an incredible women. you just radiate beauty, grace, and intelligence. i really needed this video, it was posted in a perfect time right when i'm coming face to face with my spiritual beliefs and journey. relate to you so much in what you say. you're amazing xxxxx
Karissa, I can tell how much your heart is on your sleeve for in video and I just want to say that I appreciate how you opened yourself up for this. I just want to add that you glow with so much love and light and it's impossible for souls with that much inner light to be anything but beautiful and true 🤍
i feel kind of comforted by you. i also feel so sad for all the young girls who went through such religious trauma. it makes me so angry that we are basically indoctrinated, without even giving us a choice, to be a christian since such a young age... in my case i was a catholic christian as a child, they made my baptism as i was barely five months old, i did most of the various religious ceremony expected in our catholic ambience. i was lucky being born a kind of agnostic family, i could say, but i wanted to find a belief myself, i tried very hard with christianity since it was what i was exposed the most to, but eventually it made me sick to the stomach, but as i said, fortunately my family isn't religious in any way, i was also very lucky and to go away without traces from catholicism. i felt lost and disconnected from my body and especially myself. i am still questioning everything within, i am currently trying to study astrology on a deeper level, navigating through vedic astrology (which is something i am very interested in and made me feel seen in so many aspects), and i feel connected to witchcraft in so many ways, but as a coward i gathered little informations and never practicd it since i feel guilty for my womanhood...
i don’t want to waste your time, you or who is reading anymore, i am rambling and feeling and shaking as a whole after this video, so i wanted to thank you so much for this video Karissa, and i hope you will heal from all the trauma your beautiful soul had suffered from during childhood
i am sorry for any mispelling or grammatic errors i wrote, i am trying my best with writing better, but after all i barely talk english in my everyday life ^-^
Your story touched me a lot, I'm so sorry you've had experiences that a little girl should never have, your sensation as a child gave me goosebumps. Despite everything you managed to get out of it and create your life. Thank you for sharing this. 💕💕
The fact that you filmed in the church near my university...it really hit home how i am deeply going through the same realization of how i was traumatized by the church and my family
I didn’t have to go through religious trauma, but I could definitely relate to shame in loving/intimate relationships, thank you for making this beautiful heartfelt video, I loved it so much:’)
im so glad you mentioned this, im no longer a Christian and went through the same thing where i was so scared of dying at a young age, im a lesbian and am just now coming into myself as i have for years pushed these “urges” down, its sad that im still dealing with it, and sometimes have fears that maybe i need to be a christian. also as you mentioned misogyny is very much present in christianity, so many rules pushed on women but not the same for men, it’s so irritating because it makes women in the church think they are less than and that a man should always be in power
You're the one breaking a chain of fear and that's so amazing and requairs so much strengh. The one who broke the chain in my family was my mom. She was scared that my grandma would find out but until today she never noticed. Because of my mom I feel free to explore my spirituality and I'm very thankful for that.
you are so strong and i relate to much of your experience as a southern christian. spiritually and personally, falling out of the church was the best thing to happen to me and led me to the path of self discovery that i’m currently on - always wishing you all the love and light
I've never felt so understood and seen as I watched your video. Religious trauma crippled me for so long and i feel i wasted years of my life being afraid of myself and the world. I've always been drawn to the "darker" and "nature" side of things but it was always spoken against. Hearing "you're straying too far" from people would play in my mind any time i wanted to make a spiritual decision for myself. But now im on a journey of truly getting to know myself and trust myself. Thank you for sharing this part of you. I know it's not easy
I felt so seen and safe by leasing to you😢. I really feel all the things you mentioned it’s such a good relieve that im not alone !thank u
You narrated this beautifully. My father is a very religious man too and I had many similar experiences to yours while growing up, which also made me question Christianity, God and the church. I am 16 years old now but the things I went through still affect me to this day. It is really comforting to know that I am not alone and many women feel the same way that I do. You are so brave for sharing your story. Sending you lots of love xx
I've been eagerly waiting for this video all week. I may need a box of tissues for this one? Either way, I'm here for it. Saying my apologies in advance for any pain and trauma you've endured. I think it takes ASTRONOMICAL strength to upload a video with such content. I hope you gain the most support, love, and light within these comments in the coming days. I seriously adore your aura. Can't wait for tomorrow. 🤍✨
I think this video may have saved me, I’ve been searching for so long to put into words what I’ve been through and why I won’t conform to the norm and the massive guilt and anxiety I have had all through my life, thank you, you don’t know how much I needed to watch this xx ❤
Karissa, you don't really know what your art means to me, ily, ily, ily so much ❤️
I've been raised in a slavic Orthodox family, and now trying to "survive" here as I started viewing faith as something bigger than religion, trying to understand how to be connected to the nature and universe, and how to be a baby witch 💋🖤 your story inspired me so much thank you, love love love love love ya
truly thank you so much for the magic and care you put into your little films
I am so excited to watch this! I grew up as a pagan, I remain one to this day at 20. I don't dare look down on anybodys spiritual journey, religion, or beliefs. I think its just amazing to walk you're own path of enlightenment in general.
17:34 girl that gave me tears and shivers. 🌹 flowers to you fairy girl. That is so cute how the craft came to your hearts call and gave you a secret happiness
I want to say I went down the same path through my journey through spirituality. I grew up Christian as well and there has been stories I've been told that made me think that if I don't worship, i would burn in hell. Such as your chapter 2 story, i had a ceremony held for my purity promise. At the age of 16 i was still discovering myself and still sheltered from parts of life like virginity and intimate actions. I never had thoughts about losing it or doing such because i just didn't care for it, but it was definitely shoved down my throat growing up. I believed it happened so my family can break a "curse" of getting pregnant at a young age and i felt that my body, my life wasn't mine anymore and i were to break such promise i had to take it up with God if i were to be blessed in heaven or damned in hell. and it definitely messed up my innocence and gave me so much insecurity going deep into my teen hood. I had relationships that left me because I didn't want to or i swore i wouldn't. which ruined my vision of me because they would find someone who would please them in ways i didn't. I wish that my family acknowledged that SA is something to talk about with young women. And i wish i was taught that its not my fault and not have this guilt that i betrayed god or kept the mindset that my body, my life isn't mine. There would be awkward conversations with my family asking if i get intimate with my partners or they would compare me to young girls who are pregnant and it just felt all so wrong as to why they care so much about what i do with myself and other girls. All my innocence and perspective of life felt stolen from me. i didn't want to live through it much longer. But the craft saved me in so many ways i feel more free and no guilt was weighing on my shoulders. Working in the crafts shown me how to take my life back, do what's best for me because i think it's best for me and find justice within my suffering. Thank you for shedding light on topics like these it definitely made me feel less alone with my upbringing and my journey with the craft. I feel very comfortable in this community you created where i can open up and feel what i struggle vocalizing.
karissa, you ARE my spiritual awakening
i'm so excited to hear your story, i love you so much karissa! ✨
your'e so beautifully well spoken
I fell in love with your videos… they are so atmospheric
wow, the way you speak about life - the past, present and future is so beautiful and positive but still so thoughtful and reflective.
In some bits of the video i literally got shivers down my spine from how much I related to you. Beautiful video as always ❤️💫
As a Christian woman myself, who grew up in the church, my heart goes out to testimonies like yours! It’s beautiful how vulnerable you are. It deeply saddens me when people, especially children, get used or abused under the guise of God. Because Jesus loves you, Jesus is not Christian men, he’s not church, he’s not the flawed sinners on earth who may hurt us using Gods name and under the roof of a church. There are many normal Christian churches who aren’t stuck in cultish 1800’s practices. Despite any trauma in my church or family growing up, I always knew Gods love. From a young age He wasn’t something that was taught to me, He was someone I had my own relationship with, and since have. You’re a beautiful soul! I pray for your journey, for healing, for truth, and for Love. ❤️🔥
i loved your comment and i relate to it ❤️
Me too❤
Oh Dear , I am born in a Muslim family in Türkiye and they are not fundemental in religion but in our country there are a lot of fundementalists.. since the beginning of this year I am getting signs from Dear Jesus Chrlst in many ways and a lot of messages, knowings to my heart and mind 🙏 nobody came, talked and effected me but everything started Spiritually and thanks To God there are a lot of sources I can get info from and they purely only talk about the new testament and Dear Jesus only ... I totally agree with Your comment Jesus and his beauty has no relation with the conflicts people made up or forced in the name of God ...
I believe his love , his compassion , his holiness , and when I think about him , in my heart there are so many beautiful feelings cannot be described with words and yes he offers such a personal relationship with God when the Holy Spirit touches in someones heart 🙏💕💕💕
Amen! God bless! 🤍
One of my favorite videos from you!!! Such a vibe
I love the way you express yourself and appreciate your honesty so much in this video. I can imagine how difficult this would be to make. Thank you for opening up , this is helpful for so many
thank you karissa for the transparency and for the strenght that you had to talk about such strong subjects and your videos are always giving me comfort and they make me feel so understood❤
thank you so much for posting this. ive been waiting for you to share your story. this has made me so emotional, not only because of my empathetic nature but also realizing just how deep my trauma runs further and much deeper than what i can recall from my chilhood memories. growing up in a similar household and church along with similar characteristics regarding family members who are also christians, you have made me feel so less alone in my trauma and my healing but also in my femininity. you've given me that little push into my embracing of witchcraft. you've helped me allow myself to be confident as a spiritual woman. im sending you healing, peace and lots of love throughout your lifetime ❤ im so grateful to have found your channel. btw, i love how you have styled your hair, it adds to that childlike, fairy aura you've mentioned. 🧚🏼♀️🌸
I give my unconditional support to anyone that had to go through that trauma,that sounds rly traumatising and u all don’t deserve to have your innocence stolen from you.
I haven’t experienced this type of trauma but I fell very lucky that my mum was so open about the craft with me at such a young age,and is still making me protection spell jars at 19,I love your channel karissa and I appreciate you telling us what happened and sharing ur story 💋x
this video was so special to watch
Karissa, it must have been difficult to share these conversations on the internet and open yourself up, I congratulate you and thank you very much for this. I recently lost my grandmother. Loss brought me lots of confusion and bad feelings.I'm in a place where I don't know what to do with my life. During this period, I had a lot of questions about the afterlife and beliefs. This video is like a medicine to me, thank you so much. Take care.
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable & open about your experiences & spiritual journey! I had a similar experience growing up in the church & hearing your story is so reassuring & insightful. 💘💘
It would seem that this day could not surprise me with anything ... but to hear your story, which is identical to mine🤯I bring my full solidarity. I grew up as an esoteric in the family of a pastor and all the torments are so familiar. How nice to see that you passed over these and touched the real mysticism & spirituality that called you❤🔥🌹
Thank you so much for having the courage to share this ❤ you have no idea how many people you will help heal by being this vulnerable ❤️
Thank you for sharing your courageous journey to free yourself from the negative beliefs and practices you were subjected from an early age. Your story is so inspiring. 🌹🙏🌈
This is literally the best video on earth. Everything you said it’s just so right and I was almost crying I love you, beautiful, strong, kind angel 🥹💜🫀
Tysssssm for being so transparent, helps myself personally, a lot. Being ga y and from a conservative religious family, it always helps to know there are others that had to go through similar things 💓
I see myself so much in your words karissa, thank you for that ♡
very brave of you karissa! You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for x
I love your channel, i've been subscribed since the first video, you inspire me a lot!!! i was waiting for this video since your spiritual awakening video, you always make my sunday happier 🤍🤍
rooting for your success
kisses from brazil!! 🇧🇷🤍🤍
you're so brave for sharing this
Thank you for posting this video and being vulnerable! I have gone through all too simular things. And the spiritual struggles have been real. Growing up a sheltered girly has put me through the ringer as a developing women in the real world. But I have recently shaken off all Christian concepts and beliefs. I have transitioned into a pagan witch, believing in a higher source but from witch all other gods have come from as divine eminations and archetypes. I no longer stress about a he'll and weather God will send others there because I did not share the gospel with them before they died. Instead I carry the belief of returning to that source after death and then reincarnation. And that "god" or source has no religons and is a very neutral being who loves his creations all the same. To me this feels right and true in my spirit. And as a witch I feel so much more love and appreciation for nature and the gods and spirits that live there in. I am more happier as a witch than I ever could have been as a Christian.
12:27 the statement here really struck a cord. Although my traumatic experiences differ from yours I feel like this exact statement rings true to so many people who have experienced girlhood. Thank you for bringing words to something I had not yet figured out how to say
Yay I can’t wait! Watching your videos has given me so much inspiration for so many things, I really look up to you and your energy is just so beautiful! I love your makeup tutorials and vlogs but I especially love your spiritual videos because I relate and resonate with them so much 🫶🫶🫶 I love you Karissaaaa
This was moving. Remaning authentic to yourself and asserting your individuality even when the whole world seemingly rallied against you is one of the testaments of human spirit. As a trauma survivor myself, I wish you nothing but more freedom from the shackles of your past for the years to come.
Your videos are so inspiring to get into witch craft, witch craft is such a powerful beautiful thing, it's a shame that people now days stil don't understand or appreciate witch craft
i love your personality and the way you express, i’m sure you’re gonna archive all your goals
I never related so much to someone, but i still on early stages of this process. I’ve been disconnecting from christianity since I was 15, but I’m 20 now and still caring the guilt, shame e fear that I was taught.
💗thank you for posting this, your videos make me feel so understood and just help me so much to overcome certain things. wish you all the best and we love you so so much (orthadox christian here)💕💗
you're like a whimsical being, sending you so much love💖
thank you for being so honest and opening up about your difficult experiences
as a polish girl from christian family, im sending love to you
i'm so inspired by your vulnerability, it's so comforting and healing to know that questioning my beliefs is a universal experience. although there are some experiences of yours that i am unable to relate to, there are many things you mentioned that struck a chord in me. i'm so grateful to be inspired from you, growing up in an a christian household can be challenging, especially in terms of finding your own path and faith and i am working on my own spirituality every single day, so thank you for helping me on my own journey. much love
Your grace is so refreshing and beautiful. A bright star just shining her light on us ✨🌛
love you karissa
I just found your channel yesterday, and I honestly think I found it for a reason. I was also raised in a very strict Christian household (Jehovah’s Witnesses specifically), and I relate to a lot of what you said. I wasn’t allowed to celebrate anything growing up including my birthday, I wasn’t allowed to watch movies like Harry Potter either, I had purity culture shoved down my throat, not to mention it’s very anti-lgbtq+ (I’m bisexual and nonbinary). I wasn’t allowed to hang out with people from school, only from the religion. I wasn’t allowed to date outside of the religion either. Women are only allowed to wear dresses and skirts in the Kingdom Hall (their church), not even slacks. You can’t really express yourself outwardly, you have to have this plain modest look, and you can’t get tattoos or too many piercings (anything other than ears are not okay). I started deconstructing around 3 years ago when a guy led me on for 8 months just to reject me because I wasn’t baptized. It felt like I couldn’t have anyone inside or outside of the jw religion at that point. I started doing more research about it and peoples experiences deconstructing and my eyes completely opened, I realized I was brainwashed the whole time. Right now I’d just say I’m agnostic, I don’t know what’s really out there. I’ve been interested in tarot and other witchcraft like stuff for a bit now, so I’ll just see where my spiritual journey goes. Loved this video ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. My greatest wish is that the echo chamber of shame and fear will quiet for you and all other survivors of purity culture. You spoke so eloquently about this very important topic, and I am so grateful that you have found your own intuition and spirituality which can hopefully serve as a comfort. Lots of love ❤️
Karissa, you have inspired me in so many ways you have helped me find my style and help me connect with my higher self and also inspired me to start writing my own poetry, after I found your CZcams channel I have been so much happier! It may seem dramatic but you have been such a big impact on my life, you are such a unique and beautiful person and I wish only the best for your beautiful life ❤️🫶💋
I grew up in catholic family, most of my friends are christian and I have been rebelling so much. Catholic practices are different in europe, but just like you, I always felt stuck in a circle I couldn’t leave. Now I’m realizing it’s not God that was holding me in the circle, it was the toxic people in church. I found my way to love God without having to be in the toxic circle, however, I’ve been wanting to start practicing witchcraft for very long time now but didn’t want to do anything against God. Your video really encouraged me and I want to thank you from my heart for speaking up to me and all the other girls that grew up in a religious family. ❤
(Sorry for my bad English, it’s not my first language 😭)
I’m so proud of you ⭐️ You really inspire me
tysm for sharing this! i could relate a lot to your experiences. i’m a brazilian teenage girl who was raised in a full christian family and household and ideas of baptism - having to dedicate fully to god at a young age, without being sure of what i want exactly - were very uncomfortable to me. not to mention having a huge fear of going to hell, mainly because of my sexuality and witchy things really drove me off. with about 12 years old i found out that natural magic exists and i was very happy and excited, so i began my secret practice. for times, i stopped practicing for external influence and not having time due to studying, but now i’m renovating my vow to magic, love, nature and healing myself, becoming my best version :)
hey i’m not christian nor a witch but muslim and i absolutely love how you see spirituality and respect everyone although you had bad experience some humans can really suck but yeah just wanted to say you’re such a warm / peaceful energy girl i love watching your videos
I can't wait! I'm so excited to hear your story, love you Karissa! 💕
I almost cried watching this video, thank you so much Karissa for making this video as I experienced exactly the same. I have so much religious trauma and as a child I was constantly told to behave and keep my purity, to never have sex before marriage. I was limited off of life experiences and lived in a cage my parents built for me. They were also strongly religious and my mom would constantly scare me and threaten me if I did something wrong. I come from a family with strong preachers and it was terrible when I was a child. Now as I grew older with 24 I have realized so many things for myself. I was manipulated and heavily brainwashed. I am no longer a follower of Jesus and I don’t believe in God. I have no trouble saying this although I know so many people shame you for this…I have realized that religion in general was man made, written by humans since there was no law back than and people basically killed each other, stole and were barbaric, so they invented God and the wrote the Bible in order to make humans behave and to scare them. Ppl back than weren’t as educated as we are not and many discoveries weren’t made so people easily believed in fantasies etc. but nowadays we humans know so much more and I respect everyone‘s religion and beliefs. But as for me, the older I got, the less it made sense to me. Religion is a way of capitalizing off of a women‘s obedience and in order to mold her into the fantasies and desires of a man. I was constantly told that when I would have sex before marriage, I was not worth anything and my value goes down and I am nothing but a used tissue meanwhile men were able to do whatever they wanted as much as they wanted. It‘s a total patriotic system but I guess also because back than condoms didn’t exist and women would have gotten pregnant all the time and a lot of they did it with everyone. I think in today‘s time and age there is absolutely no reason for being this religious or even be religious at all. I am SO sorry you went through all of this and I hope you‘re recovering and healing your inner child and just wanted to tell you you were not with your experience❤️
hi, i'm sorry for your experience and i hope you're doing well right now. Im 17 and i live in a super religiuos house. same as you, i don't believe in god but i constantly need to act as if i do, because i know my family would be so dissapointed if they realise i don't have the same beliefs and honestly is something that really scares me, but i don't want to keep pretending anymore.
I was wondering if your family know that you don't believe in god, and if so, how do you live with that? do you have conflicts or arguments with your family?
I do not have any bad intentions with these questions, I am genuinely interested in knowing the experience of someone with a life similar to mine because it's getting really dificult for me and i don't know what to do TT
Religion is man made,
Faith is God made.
beautifully spoken as per usual💒 thank you for sharing your experiences despite the discomfort
What a beautiful, raw and honest video. You’re a truly beautiful soul ❤
such a beautiful and healing video
this slayed, love you💗💗 its so important to talk abt healing our inner child, i am also someone who’s experienced very intense and insidious fear from christianity so this was beautiful to hear
I can’t thank you enough for what you have brought into this world and how much you have inspired me. This video, as well as all your others, have really helped me connect with my creativity and spirituality. Thank you for being who you are and thank you for bringing your beautiful energy into this cruel world. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. Sending you lots of x’s and o’s
I'm so excited!! I've been watching all of your videos with my mom every morning!
i relate to so much of this. it’s sad to see other kids grow up in similar ways. your journey is eye opening! i love your channel so much, it has really helped me on my own journey.
im so thankful there’s a creator like u here on youtube! u always offer such inspiring and beautiful videos🤍!
I love how you can really tell that you get so much happier and gain so much peace at the end of the video, when you talked about witchcraft
***trigger warning**
Brief talk of sxl assault
I relate to this so much. I’m mid thirties and I have daughters. I am pagan and I was told I had to stay pure but that men are men and will sin and the woman’s job to support the man and bring him back to Christ. This lead to many bad relationships. Many days feeling worthless, many nights crying myself to sleep. I am married now. We are not a religious couple and I do get some eye rolls with my craft but it’s always in a playful way. I can express myself and I am thankful everyday I have the adulthood I do. If I married someone who was of the church I could have never been free to be myself. I am still recovering from childhood trauma with the church. Youth leaders trying to date me. Promising marriage when I turned 18 so it didn’t matter what we did. The lord spoke to men not women ***in the church I went to*** so many young girls fall prey to this. I am allowing my kids to choose their own paths. Even church. But I stick out like a sore thumb. I was judged heavily by women in the church. I was a highly developed pre teen and had SO many adult women lecturing me infront of my parents because I was inappropriate simply by just being. I embrace my body and I wear what I want now. I’m sorry you went through what you did. But we are now here to enjoy the lives we deserve. Blessed be.
Love that you’re reclaiming your power and life. Sending you love girl 💕
im literally in love with you and your account - like you are ART
so glad to share this universe and body with you
Karissa- I grew up going to a southern baptist church and it traumatized me to the point of not even knowing if my memories of watching those sermons were real or if I just overdramatized them in my mind. It was horrifying to say the least. It wasn’t until I met up with an old family friend who randomly brought up having the same memories that I understood I’m not crazy and it was very real. She’s a bit older than me so she was able to confirm it was as scary as I remembered. I lost any type of religion or spiritually for years. I had nothing at all after that, I felt so empty. When I experienced a great loss to death at 18 and started grieving for the first time ever I found my own relationship with god and my own spirituality. I’m so thankful to have SOMETHING back and that the evangelical church didn’t steal that away from me forever.
To hear you simply just say out loud what you see in those types of churches gave me chills and just confirms my memories and terror even more. It’s a brave thing to do to post a video like this. Thank you 💙
Tank you for opening up on your past .. i have a lot of respect for people like you who can open up and share theyre stories .iIt takes courage and Authenticity ! You got both young girl ! Wish you all the best
Thank you so much for making this video!! Hearing your story was so validating having gone through similar experiences. The reflections you had on religious trauma were so insightful and well-said. I know it was hard to share, but I (and I’m sure many others) really needed to hear this💓💓
this almost made me cry, i love u
I cannot believe how much I relate to this and your experiences. You already have inspired me so much and seeing who you are now gives me so much hope and inspiration for my own journey in life. I love and appreciate you so much sending you love and light angel🩵
I have so much respect for your love and resilience 🖤