ZHEANI - I WON'T SELL MY SOUL

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  • čas přidán 4. 12. 2019
  • Download/Stream: smarturl.it/IWontSellMySoul
    The Zheani Sparkes EP - OUT May 29th
    Instagram; / askulloffoxes
    Patreon; / zheani
    Video created by Zheani Sparkes and Mik Shida ( Just the two of us )
    With blood in your eyes
    You can’t see the same
    It’s a bleeding shame
    We are not the same
    I will eat the pain
    With blood in your eyes
    We can’t see the same
    It’s a bleeding shame
    We are not the same
    I will eat the pain
    Bucket leaking out
    Wanna scream and shout
    Let the demons out
    Teeth cracked in my mouth
    We are sailing south
    I can’t take this world
    Blood is running cold
    I am getting old
    I won’t sell my soul
    I won’t sell my soul
    I won’t sell my soul (x8)
    Born as a d*** addicts’ daughter
    Daddy good looking
    But momma was hotter
    Dumb like a lamb to the slaughter
    But I grew tough from the dirt as a toddler
    I grew bolder, badder
    Runs in the family
    14 years old
    Had a man say he loves me
    Got what he wanted
    And then he was done with me
    All of those memories
    Drown them in Hennessy
    Momma beat with a bat
    And the cops they did nothing
    Battered and bruised
    Watched her climb out the gutter
    Keep speaking it straight
    I won’t crumble or stutter
    Monsters are real
    Can’t hide under the covers
    I learnt to suffer
    And grew up a cutter
    If I was a man
    I’d be in jail my brother
    There’s ugly in this world
    Just flip to uncover
    But it’s real motherf***
    Take a look and then shudder
    With blood in your eyes
    We can’t see the same
    It’s a bleeding shame
    We are not the same
    I will eat the pain
    With blood in your eyes
    You can’t see the same
    It’s a bleeding shame
    We are not the same
    I will eat the pain
    Bucket leaking out
    Wanna scream and shout
    Let the demons out
    Teeth cracked in my mouth
    We are sailing south
    I can’t take this world
    Blood is running cold
    I am getting old
    I won’t sell my soul
    I won’t sell my soul
    I won’t sell my soul (x16)
    ____________________________________________________________
    ____________________________________________________________
    zheani.com/
    / askulloffoxes
    / zheanisparkes
    / askulloffoxes
    / zheani
    / @zheani
    ____________________________________________________________
    #zheani #iwontsellmysoul
  • Hudba

Komentáře • 1,6K

  • @zheani
    @zheani  Před 4 lety +390

    Stream "I Won't Sell My Soul" on all streaming platforms;
    zheani.lnk.to/IWONTSELLMYSOUL
    (Also add it to a bunch of your playlists! Everything helps)

    • @LivingDead53
      @LivingDead53 Před 4 lety +12

      I can't get you on Pandora. I love your music. You're real! Sorry you've had to suffer so much. You won't sell your soul. You have a beautiful soul from the struggles. Keep going, lady!

    • @13gudadod
      @13gudadod Před 4 lety +3

      💗sure

    • @pressureflipin1992
      @pressureflipin1992 Před 4 lety +3

      I really love when you show off those incredible feet in your videos and I know I'm not the only one who loves it. We love your stinky feet. Show them off some more please..

    • @mysticaldreams6095
      @mysticaldreams6095 Před 4 lety +3

      Zheani 🖤❤️❤️

    • @Isinforever
      @Isinforever Před 4 lety +6

      If you don't sell your soul, we'll be vulnerable for your words are magical !!!

  • @bellamy4325
    @bellamy4325 Před 4 lety +1127

    When the darkness is all around you it means you are the light.

  • @NoOneSpecialxoxo
    @NoOneSpecialxoxo Před 4 lety +1334

    An anthem for the girls who have grown through the pain.

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +521

      I hope so. That is really sweet. I started speaking about my past purely for myself as a form of therapy, and the fact I get people reach out and tell me they relate and are helped by my music is honestly beautiful, but at the same time heartbreaking. Eat the pain.

    • @Steadybeheady
      @Steadybeheady Před 4 lety +24

      @@zheani This triggers the feels

    • @fullup91
      @fullup91 Před 4 lety +131

      *and boys.

    • @gutimar0328
      @gutimar0328 Před 4 lety +3

      @@Steadybeheady same here. Crazy, was actually reflecting on past things today.

    • @fakename658
      @fakename658 Před 4 lety +5

      @@zheani im crying now

  • @edwinsgeneration
    @edwinsgeneration Před 4 lety +503

    This is so raw. You're on the rise and I'm so pumped for your future 🤘🏽🤘🏽

  • @roblee6441
    @roblee6441 Před 3 lety +25

    Anyone else cry a little when they hear this song? You can hear the pain in her voice. Not to many singers out there can claim that.

  • @kantonlevine8898
    @kantonlevine8898 Před 4 lety +674

    Zheani is one of the more original artists out there, she's outdone herself here

    • @heatherblaire2187
      @heatherblaire2187 Před 4 lety +4

      Kanton Levine I'm not sure if the word "original" fits her

    • @medotaku9360
      @medotaku9360 Před 4 lety +3

      Yeah... nothing like lol peep at all.

    • @cstokes3552
      @cstokes3552 Před 4 lety

      This is legit cocorosie

    • @TheLukas59
      @TheLukas59 Před 4 lety +5

      @Genna Tuelz its a shame you dont see how certain rap artists are just poets with a beat in the background... but sure only classical music or heavy metal or whatever are "true art", get outta here with your soggy knees

    • @TheLukas59
      @TheLukas59 Před 4 lety +4

      @@heatherblaire2187 how is she not original then? who the fck is she copying?

  • @silversmith333
    @silversmith333 Před 4 lety +427

    This song makes me feel an emotion that doesn’t have a name

  • @nekobunnylols650
    @nekobunnylols650 Před 4 lety +47

    On December 5th I ran into the monster that used to abuse and stalk me. I broke down all over again and all the pain hit me again all at once. After almost 7 years of fighting to be okay it really took me back to a dark place. This song helps me to feel stronger and also helps me let the bad out through tears. To anybody out there who's hurting just know you're strong and pain is knowledge and unlocks stronger and wiser parts of us we wouldn't have found without it. ❤

    • @violetmoon6233
      @violetmoon6233 Před 4 lety +2

      Thank you for sharing your courage much love 🙏

    • @nekobunnylols650
      @nekobunnylols650 Před 4 lety +1

      @@violetmoon6233 ❤❤❤❤

    • @Julie_Serenity
      @Julie_Serenity Před 4 lety +3

      Pain molds us into better, stronger beings. Take care, sweetie!💜

  • @sicelly
    @sicelly Před 4 lety +7

    "I will eat the pain".............. thats raw man

  • @cryingbecausehollowknightd5748

    I won’t sell my soul for happiness, I won’t even sell it for love. I’ll continue to grow and become stronger... I can make it past all the voices, all the things they say. All the moments I hate. Thank you... I cannot get over this.

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +111

      You got this. Meaning>Happiness

    • @ravillejohnson2881
      @ravillejohnson2881 Před 4 lety +3

      Do you love me now I love you 👙 👙 👙 💋 💋 💋 kiss kiss kiss

    • @profesa-rsk
      @profesa-rsk Před 4 lety +1

      don't fall for this the video is full of satanic imagery and symbolisms, by the end of the song she says she "wants to sell her soul"

    • @ZambiZoo
      @ZambiZoo Před 4 lety +9

      @@profesa-rsk ummm yea?? She is a witch and practices magic 🤔😂

    • @profesa-rsk
      @profesa-rsk Před 4 lety

      @@ZambiZoo thanks for letting people know

  • @mikshida1399
    @mikshida1399 Před 4 lety +349

    Strongest person I know.

  • @xXEvanescentShadowXx
    @xXEvanescentShadowXx Před 4 lety +42

    When this track hits 1 million views, Zheani you better pop some bottles, girl you deserve this! 🤟🏽

    • @Keig0.mp4
      @Keig0.mp4 Před rokem +2

      1.3M views now, amazing to see

  • @violetmushroom6
    @violetmushroom6 Před 4 lety +13

    made me extremely sad, I can feel how pain pushed you to express it in art. you are not alone, I'm also a survivor of dark things. eventually we grow and leave our past behind and not let it define us. I hope I hear lighter music from you one day when you work through your pain. I painted really dark things, and wore black everything till this year, I'm 29, and I bought 2 floral dressed, they are unbelievably oretty on me, I'm letting go...have a nice day

  • @camusleon460
    @camusleon460 Před 4 lety +597

    I've been listening and watching over and over and crying since the first listen
    I'm pretty sure my words aren't gonna be enough, i just want to thank you. I discovered your work with The Question (and it helped me escape an abusive relationship). I've found your music and universe captivating ever since. But this... this speaks directly to the deepest parts of my soul and gives me hope that i can make it through all this pain
    I am so happy you can express all of this
    i cannot wait for what's next
    THANK YOU

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +334

      Harsh and abusive backgrounds unfortunately shape us to be more vulnerable to abusive relationships and manipulation. I made my music for myself in the beginning as a form of therapy, but the fact it has helped people is really beautiful and makes me proud.
      I'm sorry for what happened to you but we all have what it takes in us to overcome. Eat the pain. Sending love.

    • @diaryoftherose7091
      @diaryoftherose7091 Před 4 lety +9

      Lea Sonmez 💯 I feel the exact same. This music is so powerful. I am a forever fan now ❤️

    • @fakename658
      @fakename658 Před 4 lety +7

      Reading this made my throat hurt

    • @lovejustifiesexistence
      @lovejustifiesexistence Před 4 lety +7

      There is an end to the pain... much love from another survivor of a lot of hardship. I wish you all the best.

    • @irkallaLustre
      @irkallaLustre Před 4 lety +10

      thanks for writing that....its the same with me. So many of Zheanis songs make me cry this one especially....the Question, and satanic Prostitute both made me realize i need to publically name and speak out against my abuser in order to heal and Zheanis music helped me find the courage to do that. im so glad her music has helped you too and i hope youre in a safer place now

  • @kreaturaofthenight3792
    @kreaturaofthenight3792 Před 4 lety +227

    This song is really important to me now

  • @maxxinejacobs1264
    @maxxinejacobs1264 Před 4 lety +12

    The hardest&most inspiring woman in rap.
    Thank you for existing, we all needed you and didn't know it.

  • @cherrycocane4039
    @cherrycocane4039 Před 4 lety +93

    “Say less.. you used to know better, Zheani say less” 💜

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +65

      The real ones know.

  • @GrimmHades
    @GrimmHades Před 4 lety +254

    Loved the sound and really enjoyed the natural voice without all the auto tune

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +197

      People are always complaining about the Autotune (which I honestly do for the aesthetic and LOL value) but I thought it was time I showed people my actual voice more, doesn't matter if it isn't so good or well trained. Thank you for taking the time.

    • @adjectivemak
      @adjectivemak Před 4 lety +37

      @@zheani it's a good voice because it's yours, incredible work tbh.

    • @GrimmHades
      @GrimmHades Před 4 lety +18

      zheani thanks for the reply back, exactly who cares if it is trained you sound great. Either way love it all with or without keep up making the music you are very talented

    • @katalyst_music
      @katalyst_music Před 4 lety +6

      @@zheani you could have the best voice sonically in the world but what matters is the emotion, at the end the really valuable part of being trained is to not destroy the voice if you do crazy things, and you have your own emotion ^^

    • @chelle559
      @chelle559 Před 4 lety +1

      Its raw and it makes it all that much more authentic genuine and beautiful this is one of my favorite songs in the whole world....only someone that's really been thru some shit could understand why this song is so important to ppl like you and me .particularly women like you and I. I can feel your pain in your voice through these lyrics it gives me chills I've been hooked since I discovered it like 4 months ago

  • @TabCatz
    @TabCatz Před 3 lety +12

    As someone who grew up without a father and raised by a mother with substance abuse issues, this hits really hard. Thank you for making something so beautiful out of something so painful. I feel it, and I’m sure a lot of others do too. Thank you.

  • @valpierce1607
    @valpierce1607 Před 4 lety +2

    zheani as a survivor. thank you on behalf of survivors everywhere. Thank you for your bravery -- speaking out and not backing down. your truth helps other women in similar situations, like myself

  • @digitalmascara
    @digitalmascara Před 4 lety +354

    Zheani hitting us with a whole masterpiece

    • @emmaboyett8667
      @emmaboyett8667 Před 4 lety +1

      I know right!

    • @princejepri7201
      @princejepri7201 Před 4 lety

      Check out my soundcloud

    • @ravillejohnson2881
      @ravillejohnson2881 Před 4 lety +2

      I love you pice one love 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄👄

    • @jessachi
      @jessachi Před 4 lety +1

      Jw are you from the States or Australia?

    • @digitalmascara
      @digitalmascara Před 4 lety +1

      @@jessachi I am from the states!

  • @xXEvanescentShadowXx
    @xXEvanescentShadowXx Před 4 lety +278

    Burn the witch vibes but levelled up, love everything you’ve done so far but the rawness and honesty you’ve put out here, that takes a lot of bravery, shadow work and reflection and I’m incredibly proud that you’ve shared your story and your art with the world. It’s going to help a lot of people heal. I feel you girl, I feel ya and thank you

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +93

      Thank you. I started speaking on my past purely for myself as therapy and I could have never predicted people would be helped by my work. It's both heart warming and heart breaking.

    • @kass_G59
      @kass_G59 Před 4 lety +2

      zheani Love you 🖤🤍

  • @rikiforever420
    @rikiforever420 Před 4 lety +25

    Loving this song, Zheani!!! As a woman who comes from a mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally horrific background. This song makes me empowered by the hurt from my past. It helps me realize that even though I went through all that trauma, I don't have to let it define me and who I am now. I am a big fan of your music, and I just started want to thank you for making this song. ❤️
    And to any other women out there struggling, just know that you are NOT alone! Many women have been through this. Hold your head up, puff your chest out, and know that you are strong! Know that you are a warrior!!!

  • @bradbastian4687
    @bradbastian4687 Před 2 lety +4

    As a musician of 30 years I truly believe that Zheahi’s music is the best stuff I’ve heard in years.

  • @Kk-kv1rw
    @Kk-kv1rw Před 4 lety +140

    I love that drug addicts daughter is in this omg this is such a masterpiece

  • @Gemmagic84
    @Gemmagic84 Před 4 lety +149

    Lovely that this is dedicated to your mother, I have met her personally. A beautiful soul. Breaks my heart that so many women and children (and men) go through so much torment because of DV, but we are strong... unbreakable lotuses rising from the muck 🌷💕

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +82

      I'm so proud of her. Thank you for taking the time to leave this note. sending love

    • @ravillejohnson2881
      @ravillejohnson2881 Před 4 lety

      @@zheani you look pretty cool sexy baby

    • @chillernokiller1926
      @chillernokiller1926 Před 4 lety +2

      what is DV ? i am not native speaker so i really have no clue what it means

    • @Gemmagic84
      @Gemmagic84 Před 4 lety +14

      @@chillernokiller1926 domestic violence (also called home and family violence)

    • @chillernokiller1926
      @chillernokiller1926 Před 4 lety +1

      @@Gemmagic84 thank you

  • @yolandaarranzgomez2605
    @yolandaarranzgomez2605 Před 4 lety +2

    Just want to say that with this you are giving te voice to many many women, man, kids, that have suffered or are suffering any type of abuse. Giving STRENGTH and hope . Thank you so much. Maybe lot of people don't see how as far is this important in this terrifying world we are living.

  • @SIRXNZ
    @SIRXNZ Před 4 lety +1

    How did I now only come across this beautiful princess.

  • @firmmonkey4547
    @firmmonkey4547 Před 4 lety +58

    A powerful and moving track for those who have suffered and moved forwards not allowing their past to define their future

  • @MissMetaverse
    @MissMetaverse Před 4 lety +73

    “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”

  • @starless1444
    @starless1444 Před 4 lety +2

    From one dreamer to another: It's hard to grow up in emotional pain. It drowns and suffocates the victims of abuse.
    I can't tell you I know how you feel but I can tell you how I grew up was not how any child should have.
    Thank you for sharing your pain with others Zheani. It truly makes a difference.

  • @BecauseILikeItThatsY
    @BecauseILikeItThatsY Před 4 lety +8

    No matter what Zheani puts out, it's AWESOME. Such a gift to touch hearts like she does then turn around and throw beats down. She is 100% girl goals. Can't wait to see how far she goes !

  • @mirwillits3031
    @mirwillits3031 Před 4 lety +148

    Zheani I felt this song so bad “we are not the same I will eat the pain”
    “Born as a drug addicts daughter”
    My mom was also beat.
    “I learned to suffer, and grew up a cutter”
    “If I was a man I’d be in jail my brother”
    I’m crying watching this zheani I’m so proud Of you! So fucking proud!!! I followed u before u made any music

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +84

      Thank you for being around since the early days. I used to keep my mouth shut about my past and accept a lot of bad behaviour. Recently I've changed a lot and put my foot down finally. Thanks for being here and I hope you stick with me for this journey. Everyone has shit in their pasts that can haunt them, but everyone has the potential to over come it.

    • @mirwillits3031
      @mirwillits3031 Před 4 lety +10

      zheani very true you’re my motivation to be honest. Grew a ton this year went thru tough shit. I’m still trying to overcome it

    • @caporal4456
      @caporal4456 Před 4 lety

      @@zheani I understand what you mean

  • @drex128
    @drex128 Před 4 lety +55

    I love how eclectic your music is. Life is complicated and your catalogue reflects that. It’s inspiring seeing you turn your pain into something positive.

  • @jtalacatori
    @jtalacatori Před 4 lety +9

    I am a survivor of SRA , this song..... it speaks to me. Zheani thank you for putting into words what I could never emotionally express. I cried through this. I love you so much.

  • @user-bj7em4fv1p
    @user-bj7em4fv1p Před 4 lety +1

    So much pain in this world...Zheani, I wish you nothing but happiness and success and love in your life. You deserve it.

  • @michirin1039
    @michirin1039 Před 4 lety +40

    Damn. This song makes me want to use art to work through my own trauma. It's so powerful. Eat the pain.

  • @Kk-kv1rw
    @Kk-kv1rw Před 4 lety +5

    My 2020 anthem🖤

  • @erynsmerch3
    @erynsmerch3 Před 4 lety +18

    The darkness that not everybody is unlucky enough to see, you take that and you fuck it balls deep. I love how you express yourself via your sexuality. You're not scared to be vulnerable, that's the real strength - You're hard as nails, inside and out. I love the imagery of impurity in this video and your acceptance of it, and I honestly felt magick through your words and the video. I could say so much about how your music has helped me look monsters in the eye, but I'll just say that I've seen the darkness too. Fucking thank you tbh. Ps: your mom is a badass, guess it runs in the family

  • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
    @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Před 4 lety +1

    It makes me angry that I've spent my kid's life trying to protect them from abuse - and luckily, they've been safe so far - but here is a woman nearly the same age who's struggled through stuff just like I and other women of my generation have - and the generation before me, and before that...
    What gives me hope is this same woman sings in her own voice, tells her story, stands a survivor. To be so young yet so switched-on, raw, and strong... power to truth. Cycles can be broken. This is a beautiful song - thankyou.

  • @Haleybluebarry7
    @Haleybluebarry7 Před 4 lety +29

    Love your work sm, your art has gotten me through the hardest of times. I wouldn't have had the strength to tell the truth of what has happened to me this year without you. Tysm for sharing your life with the world

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +19

      Comments like this make it worth it. I did it for myself but the fact people are relating and drawing strength is amazing and kind of shocking to me. You got this.

  • @mssimulated651
    @mssimulated651 Před 4 lety +6

    Thank you for this openness and vulnerability

  • @vanjaganja
    @vanjaganja Před 4 lety +1

    I always have a freeing sensation when listening to Zheani's music. It takes me into a state of compassion and I know how to move forward

  • @hehehehe2736
    @hehehehe2736 Před 4 lety +2

    The evolution is just crazy. Each new song gets better and better

  • @Sludge_Elf
    @Sludge_Elf Před 4 lety +46

    U are such a strong person ❤

  • @triple_gem_shining
    @triple_gem_shining Před 4 lety +39

    YES! cant wait to see more from you zheani i know you have so much to show the world! so glad i found you

  • @crystalnova2378
    @crystalnova2378 Před 4 lety +5

    Zheani, you are a truly a remarkable being and I admire you so much. Your music has been keeping me going since I discovered you back in April/May.
    I get so pumped whenever I see that you’ve released new content, and am eagerly awaiting your upcoming Zheani Sparkes EP.
    I don’t usually try to reach out to artists or bother commenting on their videos or posts, but I just wanted to share my sentiments because you are such an inspiration to me.
    Keep on being your majestic, badass self and following your own path in the music industry. You’ve got something special and authentic that so many other artists these days lack, and I wish you nothing but love, healing, and success in your journey. 😉🥰🔮

  • @mariahcraig7298
    @mariahcraig7298 Před 4 lety +3

    I adore the Drug Addicts Daughter freestyle in here ❤

  • @Alex-jj4ek
    @Alex-jj4ek Před 4 lety +5

    Stumbled into zheani's music completely by accident and now I can't get them out of my head. Not sure why but her songs reach me on a different level and I love it. I really enjoy the more natural voice in this one, would love to hear more like it

  • @vincent3060
    @vincent3060 Před 4 lety +65

    Zheani, I listened to the song again, and this time I just listened to the lyrics, to what you're actually saying in your words, and your song almost made me cry.
    There is so much pain in this life, and everything would be a lot easier if we didn't have to worry about money, and the easy way out of the struggle is to just sell your soul, but you won't do it, you rather put up with the struggle and the pain that that struggle brings, rather than take the easy way out and just sell your soul to evil Men, and the evil forces in this world.
    Your Brother is in jail right now.
    How much does it cost to get him out?

    • @zheani
      @zheani  Před 4 lety +59

      Hey honey! I appreciate your words X
      The lyric is "If I was a man I'd be in jail my brother", pointing towards the fact that many men who grow up in abusive situations end up traumatised from it and in jail because of the way the world has shaped them.

    • @vincent3060
      @vincent3060 Před 4 lety +8

      Yeah, this is 1 of my favorite songs that you have made, because it's so real and deep, and you're pouring your heart out to the world.
      My other favorite song is when you destroyed that piece of shit Ninja.
      I always knew he was a horrible human being.
      And the crazy part is that he will say that you're a satanist, when we all know that he's the real monster.
      I hope their Album sales went down after you exposed him for what he is.

    • @vincent3060
      @vincent3060 Před 4 lety +8

      @@zheani woe, I just realised that you actually replied.
      Zheani, when the law was going against you, that pissed me off.
      But there is some good news in all this, you lit a match, and jumpstarted your career a lot more intense then the first time.
      I make music too, but at the moment my kidneys are failing.
      Before I go, I would like to show you some magic that I discovered in music.
      I'm going to message you on Facebook ok.
      So I can send you some pictures, of some geometric shapes that create perfect harmony in music.
      When I say magic, I mean ancient magic, from Sumeria and Babylon 5,000 years ago.

    • @chatchit2996
      @chatchit2996 Před 4 lety

      @@zheani damn you are so right

  • @DaughterOfTheKing_777
    @DaughterOfTheKing_777 Před 4 lety +1

    Your soul is all you got in this life. Your physical body and mind is the one that takes the pain. I grew up a cutter as well due to family issues between my stepmom and dad. I feel your pain. We have our souls and that is what makes us, us. No-one can destroy or take that away. Beautiful song.🌹

  • @1fr1nn
    @1fr1nn Před 4 lety +35

    I appreciate this song a lot rn.
    I needed this.

    • @ThisIsSparta300
      @ThisIsSparta300 Před 4 lety +1

      Hope you’re okay. Everyone loves you ❤️ keep your head up, we need you!

  • @cryptobunnybytes6919
    @cryptobunnybytes6919 Před 4 lety +16

    The hope your music gives me is like permeating light I need to make it through this abysmal darkness. Helping me kick opiates by inspiring me to stand my ground. True to yourself. Never stop being you, Zheani 🌒🔮🌘

    • @cadavher
      @cadavher Před 4 lety +1

      I kicked opiates in Oct 2016, after being prescribed them for several years. Was on over 800mg of oxy a day and about 50 in fentanyl patches. I was a wreck. Taper yourself slowly, it's the easiest way love. I tried so many times to quit cold Turkey at high doses and only landed myself back into hospital from withdrawl. Withdrawl can, CAN kill you if you're not careful. I tapered myself down slowly till I was on 40mg 3x a day, ripped the patch off, and put in my earphones and blasted music while sitting/laying in bed. First it's the watery eyes, then the aweful yawns, the leg spasms, the restlessness, the profuse sweating, then puking, shitting, sometimes all at once lol. Be prepared to be awake for 3 days or so, constantly telling yourself that yes, yes this could all go away if you take another dose, or you could suffer a few more days, and never feel this again. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour. If needed dont avoud the hospital for some fluids via IV. And if possible get your dr to prescribe you just a couple larazopam ( to stop the anxiety shakes and pains) and then after the 3rd day your body will start to come around. You will still feel sick, like a cold, but a sick that you feel strong enough to overcome. It also helps if you have someone to help you. My mother stayed with me for a week. She changed my bedding when I would soak through it, or missed my puke pail. She sat with me in the bathroom while I hung over the side of the tub throwing up trying to get warm. Its hell, if you've done it before, but once you overcome it, you feel invincible. You will fell reborn. I would be honest with you and say I didnt feel completely normal until 2 or 3 months after, but after the new year hit, I felt like I went from a 40yr old cripple to a fresh 14yr old, i had so much energy, so much mindfulness, so much sorrow for the years i lost to the drugs, but hope knowing I no longer needed them.
      I hope you find peace! I hope you get off of your drug of choice! Just remember, when your brain starts telling you it can all stop if you just take 1 hit, to tell it to fk itself because every 20min longer you make it, the further you are from ever having the feeling again. Hugs. Sending many hugs your way.

  • @cowchild777
    @cowchild777 Před 4 lety +6

    Zheani really throwing some bops at us 🖤💖🖤💖🖤

  • @chloebutton8953
    @chloebutton8953 Před 4 lety +1

    Im glad I've found an artist who shares her truth despite the negativity people give off

  • @Brithewulf
    @Brithewulf Před 4 lety +4

    This speaks volumes... I can definitely understand how this feels. It's crazy how similar the lyrics have been applied in my own life. Thank you Zheani you are such a big inspiration to me and my music

  • @-oak.moth-3258
    @-oak.moth-3258 Před 3 lety +11

    I INSTANTLY STARTED CRYING AT THE PART WHEREIT SAID " This is dedicated to my mother, a survivor. " BRO WTH STOP MAKING ME CRY ZHEANI

  • @bluecolamusic
    @bluecolamusic Před 4 lety +8

    the rawness in your lyrics is unmatched!!!!!

  • @r4w220
    @r4w220 Před 4 lety +2

    This hits home in some ways...I feel you, I feel the pain deep in my soul, but that means I still have mine and just like you, I won't sell my soul it's not for sale. Some people don't realize how hard it is, and how much strength you have to have to be/do good when you have had so much bad stuff happen to/around you. It can feel like an endless fight, but to anyone out there dealing with that, just know, you CAN get through it and you may feel weak and like you don't matter but I PROMISE you, you are far stronger than you give yourself credit, and you DO matter and if it's not someone currently in your life, just wait, hold on, because they are going to come into your life, whether it's a lover or a friend. And when that happens, you will be so grateful that you didn't give up. I don't know you, but if no one's said this to you lately/ever, you are amazing being exactly who you are, only change to better yourself, you are not alone even when you feel that way, it's ok to be sensitive, it's ok to not be ok, you don't have to fake being happy to please others, the ones that need to be there will the ones that don't, won't and that's ok, trust me and one more thing I love you, not because I have to, but because I rather fill hearts with love and not fear because we need love in this world more than ever.

  • @jinx17
    @jinx17 Před 3 lety +1

    14 years old, had a man say he love me, got what he wanted, and then he was done with me
    I learnt to suffer and grew up a cutter
    Zheani 😞 I love you, thank you infinitely for this anthem for girls like us.

  • @ohnobrittany3065
    @ohnobrittany3065 Před 4 lety +3

    Oh Zheani, it's beautiful

  • @user-lp2sz9gm7j
    @user-lp2sz9gm7j Před 4 lety +3

    My ride or die singin the song of our souls. I love you baby.

  • @meiinherzbrennt
    @meiinherzbrennt Před 4 lety +1

    Started crying after just 30 seconds... this song speaks so much to me at the moment dealing with trauma. Thank you

  • @anyaevia8707
    @anyaevia8707 Před 4 lety +3

    Wow she killed it😩💕 and this dropped on my birthday❣️ blessed

  • @liixymlz
    @liixymlz Před 4 lety +3

    i just fall in love

  • @viridianavargas2230
    @viridianavargas2230 Před 4 lety +7

    I LOVE YOU
    MEXICO LOVES YOU
    YOU ARE ART!!!! 💖💖💖💖

  • @RinIzanami
    @RinIzanami Před 4 lety +7

    Feel like she just brought us together, thanks for this Zheani, it's scary and creepy because you're describing my childhood and ugh that hurts to know more people went through what I did too. I'm a human trafficing victim, I'm in recovery but thank you for this and all your music speaks to something in me I could never ever describe. Like you spoke the words I could never mutter thank you for your work. Its helped through my journey of healing

  • @KiriEclipsa
    @KiriEclipsa Před 4 lety +4

    Shes doing our country proud AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!

  • @cryingbecausehollowknightd5748

    I love this 🧡🖤 Tears sit in the corners of my eyes, and this is just what I needed to let it out. I look back at my past, and all I can do is cry. I love this so much, thank you. I know hope is a fleeting thing, but I’m sure I’ll find a way to make it stay this time...

  • @cursedcache6316
    @cursedcache6316 Před 4 lety +3

    The last frame of her face sinking into the dirt sent shivers down my spine. I love Zheani's hype music but this was a masterpiece.

  • @crystalcarney7991
    @crystalcarney7991 Před 11 měsíci +1

    I cry to this song every few months and I need it every single time it’s healing I swear ily ❤

  • @AmourEtLumiere
    @AmourEtLumiere Před 4 lety +2

    Please never ever sell out!! THANK YOU FOR NOT SELLING YOUR SOUL TO THE INDUSTRY!! 1We need more like you in the music industry!

  • @f1zzg1g_47
    @f1zzg1g_47 Před 4 lety +3

    Thank you for this. It's like a broken girl anthem to keep fighting. I needed this. Your work moves me. Makes me feel emotions I can't explain. I don't feel alone when I listen to your music. You're amazing.

  • @MichaelGarcia-rk6jk
    @MichaelGarcia-rk6jk Před 4 lety +4

    I hope this gets released on Spotify I love this soo much

  • @raphaeldububuchim6983
    @raphaeldububuchim6983 Před 3 lety +1

    I am crying while listening. I haven't cried like this in a while

  • @BenjaminLupton
    @BenjaminLupton Před rokem +1

    Finally music I listen to with my accent. You go girl

  • @cg63970
    @cg63970 Před 4 lety +12

    What a powerful song.
    Zheani, I have been a huge fan of your work since I discovered you over the past summer.
    You inspire my inner creativity and motivate me to power through difficult situations.
    Thank you for sharing this.

  • @sadbeautiful7361
    @sadbeautiful7361 Před 4 lety +6

    Hope you start regularly posting content again! 🔥🦋🧚‍♀️

  • @kitsune2481
    @kitsune2481 Před 4 lety +2

    Your beautiful, anyone who doesn't like u is sick! You be you. ❤💝

  • @BernardoRojasdeLuna
    @BernardoRojasdeLuna Před rokem +1

    Peace be with you, Zheani. God bless you so much.

  • @unorthodox_gaming1189
    @unorthodox_gaming1189 Před 4 lety +4

    I love seeing all the support you have in these comments, it's really heart warming seeing you have such an amazing fan base

  • @anderssvendsen6682
    @anderssvendsen6682 Před rokem +11

    I'm a 35 year old man playing minecraft and vibing to your music. Thankls for putting it all out here zheani! Love all your tracks!

    • @SuperBozz
      @SuperBozz Před 3 měsíci

      Minecraft needs this as background music instead of the dreary sad music

  • @laurenleeonethree
    @laurenleeonethree Před 4 lety +2

    I've just recently discovered her music. I'm so glad 😭 I'll be listening to her all day now 🖤

  • @xxewoxx1628
    @xxewoxx1628 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Damn girl dtay strong for your mom she was strong i hope god strikes down the evil away from her god bless you zheani

  • @arsaeterna4285
    @arsaeterna4285 Před 4 lety +8

    I almost cried
    love you thank you

  • @unorthodox_gaming1189
    @unorthodox_gaming1189 Před 4 lety +10

    Definitely going to be slapping this song for a while 👀👌

  • @merriahdubois5457
    @merriahdubois5457 Před 2 lety +2

    I'm here because I know your words all to well zheani ❤

  • @alexcomsa296
    @alexcomsa296 Před 4 lety +2

    thank you for paying actual money for everyone to see this masterpiece

  • @_marbzipann
    @_marbzipann Před 4 lety +3

    Zheani this is amazing great message. Hope u and ur mom are okay now . im so sorry ❤❤❤

  • @mercedescarbajal6387
    @mercedescarbajal6387 Před 4 lety +5

    I can’t get enough of this song. On repeat. Everything I want to say in a song. Ugh fucking art

  • @joethafoe
    @joethafoe Před 4 lety +1

    Hell yeah we need more like her in this industry. Wont sell out no matter what it will bring her. She understands something about this world most don't.

  • @missmarie3351
    @missmarie3351 Před 4 lety +1

    Keep standing true to yourself, honey, don't let anyone try to break you.

  • @destinaro.
    @destinaro. Před 4 lety +33

    My baby brother died and it's hard to feel anything other than pain. I felt these lyrics in my soul.

  • @dwhite3937
    @dwhite3937 Před 4 lety +3

    She’s pretty cool

  • @jaynesvijeo249
    @jaynesvijeo249 Před 4 lety +2

    I cant stop listening.

  • @mariemarquez6686
    @mariemarquez6686 Před 4 lety +2

    I have no fucking words. I'm crying, like.. Just. I love you, Zheani.

  • @ellieglendenning4493
    @ellieglendenning4493 Před 4 lety +4

    This is unlike anything I’ve heard , I didn’t realise I needed to hear this thank you zheani for killing them all 🤟🏼

  • @izzygore1077
    @izzygore1077 Před 4 lety +3

    Never fails to amaze me, I feel this. Love you Zheani✨🦋🖤

  • @the1pirateking1
    @the1pirateking1 Před 4 lety +2

    My love for you continues to grow stronger everyday .

  • @sophiascl6100
    @sophiascl6100 Před 4 lety +2

    Hi Zheani, I met you yesterday thanks to your most recent song "I wont sell my Soul", and I just want to tell you that you are not alone friend ... maybe you went through a lot of suffering when you were younger ... but that is already past ... you have the opportunity to look straight ahead and not look down ... you are not alone ... we have all gone through suffering, whether little or much ... in my case, my mother left me 2 years ago ... when I was 12 ... I suffered a lot, but in the end that suffering helped me to be stronger, and to be more able to face the problems that life will put us ... you are not alone ... you have an extraordinary gift ... your voice is beautiful, and you can make a very notorious use of it... you have already done it ... your themes are very sonorous and you really have talent ... I just want you to know that you are not alone ... and don't decay ... life goes on and you have to live it ... of course ... try not to hurt the people around you ... they are by your side for something ... and that something, it's because they love and care about you ... greetings and a hug friend 😁🙋