"I don't know where my boyfriend lives" l EP. 153 l The BTS Podcast
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
- Welcome to the Behind the Scenes podcast! Make sure you follow our page and like, comment, and share this episode with your friends and family if you enjoyed it!
0:00 Intro
01:57 - Dilemma: My best friend got me nothing for my birthday
28:50 - Song of the Week
32:05 - Dilemma: My boyfriend lied about where he lives
Tune in to hear our thoughts! If you would like to send us in a dilemma so that we can discuss, please email us: BTSPodcast00@gmail.com
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#btspodcast #bts - Zábava
Tammy's vibe on the pod is fire - her style and POV are legit goals. She's always coming at things with grace and compassion. And don't even get me started on her humor - top tier, no cap! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
First dilemma. If someone shows up for you and makes you feel appreciated then you should want to make them feel the same way. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or costly but simply making memories or offering sentimental gifts will suffice. It’s a problem when you don’t have the heart posture to wanna show up for someone you claim you care about.
This!!!!
the way i was shouting at the screen in dilemma 2 BEATRICE PLEASE 🤣
Is Beatrice venting her personal situation through this girls dilemma?😭. But I agree with Tammy for sure
Omo!🤣
Felt the projection as well😁😁
Agreed😂
We often over play our roles in people’s lives.
I love Tammy’s POV when it comes to the dilemmas! Beatrice seems to often miss the point which is truly frustrating
ALWAYS misses the point - I wonder if she does it on purpose sometimes because 🤦🏾♀️
@@florencxe lol I tried to give her a little grace 😂😂
@@moniqueroger224 I always bite my tongue but seeing someone else pointing it out was a relief lol
Same she’s my fave!
Tammy I love you. Your patience, emotional intelligence, and logic is chefs kiss!!
I couldnt agree more❤
Tammy is so funny, literally never fails to make me laugh 😭
Effortlessly funny 😂😂😂please, I love her🤎
aww thank you xx
Tammy I'm not being funny you need to do some comedy skits, your funny can't be wasted!😂😂
Sharon is such a doll 😍😍
Some of these dilemmas be simple and straightforward but yall tend to put too much hypotheticals and spin on it that yall confuse each other 😂 WHOA 😂😂😂
Also make sure the person you call your best friend also sees you as her best friend, if not she's putting all the effort into the person she actually sees as her best friend
Beatrice take the L this time, chile.
Beatrice sorry babes, but you seem a bit hostile in this episode. Are you ok?🥹
Yes Tammy! I agree wholeheartedly. I'm not a big birthday person either but like you said, sometimes you have to step out of your own way to celebrate your friend. I'm literally doing this next month lol and I'm with the advice as well, definitely reach out and ask a question but try not to be confrontational.
Nope nope nope !!!! Stop investing in people who won’t do the bare minimum for you. Not saying she should have done exactly the same thing you did but she didn’t even do the bare minimum.
I feel like playing the devils advocate can rlly backfire because in an effort to understand the “wrong” point of view you end up invalidating the “right” point of view😭 so now the girl who sent in the dilemma is getting screwed over twice LOL. At the end of the day, they’ve been friends for 10 years. If you don’t know how ur friend prefers to spend their day then you must not b a great friend huh? “yall do bad by good ppl to do good by bad ppl”
Totally agree ! Out of common human decency, she should have done something for her birthday .
my thing is, even if my brother doesnt really care for his birthday, he will still step up for mine cus he knows i do care about it. its not about you, its about your BEST friend
Dilemma one shouldn’t be such a long stretch. Any friend who can not go all out for you like you did them but make it seem like you are disturbing them or being a stress isn’t a friend. Periodt.
Something different is happening with you girls in this podcast. Obviously, three individuals going through personal, career, podcast content, relationships, etc...but I FEEL it. Hope it's just temporary. Smile and laugh like before. It's why I tune in. Don't let no one get you down. I felt I had to say that.
Stay beautiful girls, heads up
❤❤❤
It's okay to not be happy go lucky all of the time
@@orangemoon9634 It is, I like to use my gifts to uplift.
Yupppp I just felt like I was watching 3 beautiful women who didn’t like each other at some points… there was a weird energy:// I really hope things get better for them❤️🥹 I love their podcast
I agree. It seems like such a disconnect.
The title is sending me already 😂🤦🏽♂️ lemme get stuck in!
Sorry a lot of you are making excuses for shitty friends. If your friends don’t match your energy for the things that are important to you then they’re not your friends. The things that are important to them they will not hesitate to make noise about it. Let’s stop making excuses for grown, competent people who are aware of their actions. Move on. Cut off. Readjust simple
She's a shitty friend. End of. Beatrice has lost the plot, Sharon got it, and Tammy is almost there. When we are in relationships, platonic or romantic, there will be things that we do not enjoy that the other does. In this case, it can potentially be celebrating birthdays. When you know that person enjoys something, you do your best to make it enjoyable so that they feel heard and seen. If in the case that you feel like you and that person aren't really friends, then she should've rejected the usher concert, and let it be known that this much effort should not be given. People do things because they love you and they enjoy doing it. Learn to do the same. And if you dont feel the same let it be known. I advise that she confront her. Sit her down, and speak to her about how you feel. If she is willing to compromise, then she loves you the same. If she is not willing, then that is not your friend. In hind sight, personally, I feel like if someone loves you they will celebrate EVERYTHING about you.
Don’t confront her..Not everyone is you so aslong as she shows up for you in other ways all you have to do is reciprocate her lack of effort and do as she does rather than judging her or taking issue with the fact they don’t reciprocate the effort you give.
The energy is so down today!! What’s gwanin
Facts! I thought it was just me feeling the low energy. Hope the ladies are doing ok 🙏🏾
Maybe they're just tired? 🤷🏾♀️ I get it
The energy is deflee a little shallow.. I was wondering the same thing if it could be something in their personal lives going on. I hope all is well ladies 💕 47:19
They’re human and this if life. Nobody can be in high sprints 100% of the time.
I been feeling the low vibes the last few episodes. Idk. I feel like something shifted after vday.
Beatrice chile.........
Fr😭😂😂😂 I was looking at her like Sharon 😭😭
Don’t think I’ve seen Tammy with black hair. She looks sooo good 😍
yall are a monday necessity! im tuned in immediately 10 minutes after the upload❤️
Can you start rounding up your thoughts at the end of the dilemmas pls like a summary of what you all think/stand
Thanks girls! Been waiting for you guys to drop.
I feel like she should try to have a convo with her about it. especially if you are a person who normally celebrates or ur birthday is a big thing for u. My best friend doesn’t normally celebrate her birthday or see it as a big deal however I always try to make her feel somewhat special on the day. but I would defo feel some type of way if she didn’t even make an effort to try to plan something or be there with me for my day.
Leaving out a big piece of the truth is still a lie. It’s called lie of omission
the who tf did i marry ptsd is reallll cause why we all first question if the kids were real 😭😭😭😭
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
I understand what Beatrice was trying to say about the last one - sometimes people need to take personal responsibility, not asking or trying to further the situation for two years? You were always 1/2 of the relationship, you are not asking to meet kids? to come to house? it is a bit delulu.
Always looking gooooooodt🔥 y’all never misss
Literally liked b4 watching....keep up the good work sis❤️❤️
Every time LOL
Thanks Ladies! Monday is always on point when I see y’all pop up! Much love to you Ladies ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🫶🏾🙏🏿
Beatrice seriously 2 years and you think its a communication issue or she as a women just didn’t understand i know im always saying this but your logic hardly ever makes sense and the excuses you often make my goodness
Honestly ! I love the pod but her reasonings really frustrate me, always arguing an uphill battle
@@florencxe i thought it was just me i love listening to them aswell but Beatrice is always the devils advocate or usually she doesnt believe the person who sent in the dilemma
Yes and im like you know when you live with your parents you would definitely mention them a lot more like they said when you hit a certain age and you’re dating you divulge that you live with your parents
Beatrice 😂 ai my sister
Lmaooo I can’t..the point flew over Beatrice’s head I fear
Flew 😭😭😭😭
I get what Beatrice was saying in that alarm bells should’ve been ringing much earlier. He could’ve shown a pic of his kids or arrange a day to meet up outside of the house. So it’s either they don’t exist or he is making excuses because he is embarrassed of his living situation. Also he didn’t explicitly say it’s because he lives with his parents that’s just what Tammy inserted so I deffo would lean more towards Beatrice pov.
No!!! First dilemma response: you celebrate someone how they want to be celebrated you don’t celebrate them your way of celebrating so the friend was wrong
Agreed. The friend is wrong even if I don't value birthdays I realize that my friend went ABOVE AND BEYOND for me, I need to make some sort of effort for theirs.
Loved this episode.And also loved that Beatrice was comfortable to take a different stance to the others/voice her own opinions. Even though I didn’t agree with some of her point, It’s what makes the podcast different and entertaining
17:35 I had this experience in my most recent relationship. He ALWAYS had a reason not to celebrate anything for me, but it meant the world to him when I did things to celebrate him. I never understood that. We broke up over a year ago and he’s still trying to get back. No sir.
Honestly, for a second I thought the 2nd dilemma: he actually lives with the mother of his kids.
🤷🏾♀️
But once I heard the parents I was wondering what’s the issue with her knowing that information? Interesting 🧐
lol I love that watching this on my 22nd birthday after making decisions processing how I want to celebrate my birthday going forward😂 love you all!
It's not about the money or being extravagant. If you have a friend always reciprocate. With what you have. Text message it's so bare minimum 😭. Especially if you are aware that your friend take birthdays as a priority.
I don’t like how they both keep trying to disagree with Beatrice when what she says has grounds. She was chiming in about how the op found out about him living with his parents so keeping that same energy about him being a good guy with that statement makes absolute sense. She’s not contradicting with you all. It’s a stamens and it’s ridiculous how much nit picking was going on.
I think our expectations of friends is really high and when we don’t get it reciprocated we are so disappointed. I know how she feels but it’s very tricky to expect the same when maybe your friend doesn’t have the finances or might not celebrate birthdays the way you do.
In this episode you ladies didn't ask how you are or how was the week. I will ask How are you ? Ih onestly hope you are okay and if not I believe you will be. You are all amazing, love you all and already so excited for the next episode. Have a blessed week filled with love.
Beatrice AH AH....come on girl...
Thought was just me like wow
So as far as the dilemma: none of my exes celebrated my birthday AT ALL. My ex husband even forgot my birthday the first year we were married. My bf now did Valentine's Day very big for me but doesnt celebrate birthdays. He might do something for my birthday but I stopped celebrating with people cause previously people would always cancel and I always ended up celebrating alone. For my birthday I started solo traveling to a new country and it's now become my tradition. I don't depend on people to make my day happy anymore. This year I'm doing Singapore & Cambodia 😊
I’m new here! (Watched plenty of videos but just realized I never subscribed until now lol). So far I love the high energy, jokes and laughter you all have with each other and with guests. But this video just seemed off. I felt a slight bit of tension when you all were expressing your thoughts and opinions for both dilemmas, especially the 2nd one cause of Beatrice. I noticed that she tends to have differing perspectives (which is fine ofc) on these dilemmas and Tammy & Sharon for the most part are on the same page. But her arguments seem to move into a whole different direction and then I get confused on what she’s trying to say. Anyways, I hope you ladies are doing well outside of your podcast. Sending love & prayers your way!🤍🙏🏽
beatrice…
As a person who has many friends that don't care about their birthdays but I'm very huge on birthdays, I've done the most for them over and over. They will show up when it comes to mine but it was only last year where they gave me back the exact same energy. That being said, I was happy every year cuz they had made an effort on their level. For me what makes me feel like the girl's friend in scenario one was wrong was there was literally zero effort. A Phone call... I'm sorry but that's not effort. I feel like the ladies were discussing the other person giving little effort back, but a phone call is not even effort. I feel like the girl in the scenario would've been happy if her friend had just at least shown up, but she didn't even do that.
Beatrice has a point on the second dilemma how do you take all that for 2 whole years. The whole dilemma seems to have missing details because she can't be this deluded for 2 years.
Exactly - 1 year can fly by, but TWO? Didn't care about staying hotel and not asking more until 2 years is done is so wild
@@oceandelver exactly my point 😭😭😭😭the first year she didn’t mind staying but the second year she starts to think this is a red flag😭😭😭😭😭2 whole years
I totally understand where Beatrice is coming from.
If anyone withholds information, or doesn't Gove the entire story, it is called a "a lie by omission." He was lying. I thought the issue was going to be that he is married. They need to talk, both of the dilemma situations. Full conversations need to be had where everything is hashed out, disclosed, and laid on the table. Especially the best friends.
That’s why having a great conversation with the person you are dating help you to rule out where you stand in a relationship and not wasting 2 years asking hard hitting questions do you rent own or live with a roommate what’s ur credit score like how is your spending habits are you in any debt ppl wasting time on what’s someone favorite color or food 😂 some ppl would say you never asked so I never felt the need to say anything so it’s not technically with holding the info it’s more of asking the right questions ❤❤❤ having a lot in common with someone is great, but it doesn’t mean that they are perfect fit
Really enjoyed this week's episode both dilemmas were good ones. I have being with my partner for two years and I have never been to see his place because, from the first day of knew him, he told me he still lives with his mum. He comes to me all the time. To the second dilemma I think the problem isn't that he lives with his parents; it's that he did say from the start of the relationship.
What kind of friendship is this oo? First of all, the main question should be is this a pattern of behaviour (where she doesn’t reciprocate) or is it the first time? The second question is, these are the types of things to be discussed IN ADVANCE. So was this discussed beforehand (over a 10+ yr friendship????) Like price limit on gifts etc. Thirdly, this seems like the friend (who wrote the letter) made an unreasonably grand gesture just for a birthday that would be hard to reciprocate. It seems like she did it hoping that she would get a similar gift in return. Thats quite passive aggressive. That’s not how gifts work. If you want to give a big gift and be generous, then be generous and don’t expect it back. Just give a normal sized gift tf 🙄
For the 1st dilemma, I think if someone is your best friend then you should know how they behave when it comes to celebrations etc. if they never go all out for you, you can’t now be upset that she’s not going all out because you did for her. But if she did always go all out for you and now she’s not then I think a conversation is appropriate, but it shouldn’t be confrontational. You can express how you felt and ask her if everything is okay as you were surprised nothing was being planned etc and see what they say. Because something must have been going on for her behaviour to changed like that all of a sudden.
Dilemma 2, there is not enough information in the dilemma to begin with, but definitely information was withheld from the girl.
Whether it took her two years or 6months to realise, the fact still is, he withheld information from her which is a lie. But again, there isn’t enough detail to really know what she already tried to do within those two years to go to his house etc and the excuses he gave her (if any).
For the dilema.. personally i think.. when someone does something special for you it's only decent thing to do something back. It doesn't have to be something big like the Vegas thing ... but you have to do something in return ... at least show up and spent time with them doing nothing just sitting and talking ...not just a phone call that's stupid. I would literally be crying if that happened to me
I have dated people that have never met my kids or been to my house because I set certain boundaries until I know we are going to be serious.
Hehehehe. I have a friend like this too. The lack of effort is so sickening. But I’ve just learnt to let go of it & stopped making the effort on hers 😊
Yes, you should see is as important too, because that’s your friend. If someone means a lot to you gotta take sometimes into consider like what u do for your family and man. I’m not saying cut and arm and a leg off for that friend, but if your friend treats u we’ll do the same because that’s how she wants to be treated.. and if you as a friend can’t treat yourself tell them so it doesn’t create funny feelings..
Lol i “dated “someone for 3 years and never knew where he lived 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭
With the situation about not knowing if the bf lives with the parents should have never been an issue because in a relationship, actually when you are first dating you ask about the living status. If he did lie then it’s odd. I agree with Beatrice so much because we know that situation would never happen to us.
Idk but if my friends enjoys celebrating her birthday and I dont, I would still make the effort to make her feel special.
I love these girls I hate that in my part of the world I’m able to watch Tuesday because it gets in late in South Korea and I prefer video ❤❤🥰🥰🥰😍
They’re so funny but can’t stand the ‘mmmmmm’ ‘mmmmm’ ‘’mmm’ 😩😩😩
In regards to the first dilemma, I think a lot of things come into play. I wonder what happened last year for them during their birthdays. Did both friends do something for each other or did one friend put in more effort. Also i wonder if maybe it was milestone year for one of them or both. Cuz some people obviously tend to do more for milestones. The friend doesn't seem like an overall ungrateful person considering that the writer claimed she thanked her many times.
Regardless I do think the friend should've asked her about plans or asked about going out to dinner, something like that. But there's also the part where the writer said "that they haven't talked in the months before their birthday. Which means if something is going on with the friend, does she know about it?
This episode the dilemma "i don't know where my boyfriend lives" 😅😅😅 Beatrice went on wrong & strong, wrong & strong cheeiii🙌gal is committed 🤣🤣
@16:21 YES YOUR PARTNER SHOULD HOLD THE SAME VALUE !
Regarding Dilemma 2 i do understand Beatrice’s point of view, i think as women while dating after a period of time if certain things aren’t crystal clear then that should be an automatic red flag and you should stop and consider if the whole situation is worth it.
As women i feel like we waste so many years being optimistic with men to only find out much later that they have fabricated their reality. Sometimes as women we have to draw the line in order to stop inconveniencing ourselves.
It’s really not that hard to tell the truth about your day to day life if we are being real. Love is also not enough!
No Beatrice made a lot of sense
Literally witnessed views increase by 300 in less than 1 hour🔥
Nobody can control someone else’s reactions or gestures you can’t expect nothing from nobody
Beatrice😭😭😭😭😭😭😭My dear ahhhhh
Beatrice and this mmm mmm mmm mmm 😂 chai
As a friend for 10years u gotta know you friend ..
I am on dilemma 2 and Beatrice......😅
Omg❗️❗️❗️🤦♀️Beatrice I don't think you were listening to the second dilemma.
WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS AND YOU DON'T GIVE EFFORT TO WHAT I FIND IMPORTANT. People are so selfish man...Personally I'm not a big party person, but if that's my friend, I'm going to show up! Of course you don't do something for them to do something back, but at least give some effort🙄. My advice: celebrate yourself, people's celebration is just extra🤷🏾♀️
But if your best friend knows how you feel about your birthday and she doesn’t do anything,.. I’m sorry that’s not your best friend
Beatrice is killing me in this episode. Focus babes 😭 Also, I love Tammy down! 🩷
I realised im a gift giving person, i love it and one of my friends ive known since primary is too, we are like that with each other. But i think as years went on with a few friends i have (and when we were in a bigger group/had) i think it was me who was always remembering other peoples birthdays and trying to see what we could do to chip and get them something. Its only when things went south with one former friend that i realised that some are just not like that. As sad as it is that took a long time to realise, i dont give them anymore and they dont to me. I still remember on the day and to message them cause thats just me, even if they forget to message on mine, but i dont do anything unless someone asks me if i want to chip in. Even then i just hang back and let them plan it cause i still enjoy time with the the friends i have even if some arent as gift giving as i am. It is what it is now im just wary now and see how it goes, instead of going all out.
I think its hard to come to terms with that someone doesnt remember or care about stuff you do but i have to understand if its only for one thing, and i still have a great time with them and they show up in other ways, then i have to let that slide
Is all well Sister Beatrice?. It is giving off and annoying vibes
Nope Nope! Stop investing in people who do the bare minimum for you. She did have to splurge like her friend did for her but a phone call only? Nope a good friend would want to make you feel special too
Dilemma 2…whether the man lead on that he lived alone or not, the FIRST time I come to your city as your GFriend and cnt stay at your house, I’m asking allll the questions. So gf needs to take some accountability.
Why are you finding it so hard to believe that she was with him for two years and only starting to ask these questions now?
The mhmmmm is getting on my nerve😵💫🫠😂😂😂😂
Absolutely not Beatrice 😭 she was clearly suspicious as to why and as she said the excuse he made was his kids which is a valid excuse. That’s why she was understanding of it until she found out there was another factor. He was 1000% wrong and he could’ve lied out of shame but he shouldn’t have lied.
When a convo comes up and you purposely withhold that’s lying.
Regarding the use the same energy part, it’s not the same now. Yes she let things that was suspicious slide because she trusted and loved him but when you lie about this, it does open up a question on his personality and how secretive he may be so it’s a valid reason for her to leave, not because he lives with him parents the main problem is the lie.
I think with the second dilemma, he definitely withheld information but i think dating someone for 2 years and never going to their house? Seems very sus to me and i think Beatrices point is that she shouldve noticed something was off before 2 years
Can we stop the contact hmm hmm hmm
how don't y'all get what beatrice is saying 🙃 The girl's boyfriend told her that the reason she couldn't stay at his house was because of his kids. Even though the girl said she "found out" he lives with his parents doesn't mean that what he said about his kids isn't true. Just like it doesn't mean that him living with his parents the real reason. That's an assumption because the person who sent the message didn't articulate the situation properly. I get why y'all made the assumption, BUT I completely understand what Beatrice is saying as well. TBH, homegirl should be more embarrassed that after 2 years he didn't want her to meet his kids and she accepted it, seeing as though she was paying for hotel rooms instead of staying with her man. 2 years is more than enough time and sis should've just accepted that he's not that into her to begin with. F*ck him staying with his parents....that shouldn't even matter atp 😩
I'm a woman btw...on my husband's computer 😂😅
& if she accepted the kids excuse, then him omitting something about his living situation should be easy to get over 🤷🏾♀
🔝🔝🔝🔝
I see what you are all saying however I’m with Beatrice she should have been questioning that sooner. How could there be enough excuses for her to stay in the relationship for 2 years? Also you’re not in a real relationship if you don’t know where that man rests his head. Beatrice is right. He may have lied but that girl was lying to herself as well!
The relationship was for a year?
I think living with your parents depending where you are in the world. Ain’t no way I’m dating a man who lives with his parents at my big age. I’be been living alone for years just closed on my own home and I’m 29 this is common in the US. If I find out you are living won’t your parents it’s a lie through withholding coz why isn’t that something you said on the first date abeg let’s be for real
I’m not trying to do too much, but can I please borrow your beauty team? Lol. Yall slay all day every day!😍😍😍
Sharon reminds me of a Sudanese model, but I can’t remember her name.