I love the use of the whiteboard and I'd love to see you use it again! The only thing I would say is you should probably use a darker marker since the green is a little tough to read.
Love the whiteboard idea! And the flow chart is clever. However, please use a darker marker & maybe set the board more facing the camera. 💞 one of my fav relationship advisors!
I do think it's true how people overthink a "first date"/ going out for coffee. At a church's young adults I attend, once a year they hold a blind dating sign up. This is where they hook you up with someone else (obv. they know the people who have signed up) and they do the arranging of where you will both meet up and when. There's no obligation for going out a second time. He mostly did this to release the stigma that you have to know for sure if "he's the one" or "do I like this guy?" before the first date.
I've never been in a relationship and don't forsee any super soon (and I'm 21 lol), but this is honestly the most helpful dating advice I have ever seen. The few times I've had crushes I tend to go straight to "but could I see myself with this person forever?" which is just a bit much and I totally psyche myself out 😂
I'm so glad this could help!! I totally did the same thing in the past: Jumping right to "could I marry this guy?" before we'd even hung out once!! 😂🙈 Like you said, it's so easy to psyche yourself out.
Great video! I feel like girls need to see this because they overthink a simple date request (guys can too). A guy just wants to get to know you more, thats all. That’s how our grandparents and parents approached dating. The Joshua Harris effect still lingers unfortunately lol The whiteboard is great! Diagrams are always helpful!
This is SOOO helpful! So often I look around at guys I might be interested in and I'll immediately jump to "could I see myself married to him?" I always had in my mind that I wanted to be friends with a guy first before getting romantically involved, but usually that turns into "see a guy, have a few convos, decide I like him, invest in becoming friends/hanging out and then see where it goes". I think I'd like to try to actually have guy friends who are just that, rather than a guy-friend-who-I-want-to-be-more right off the bat. I'll keep watching this to give me a better idea of what dating should look like. Thanks Tiffany!
Hey Lynsey, just know I appreciate your honesty and as a single Christian guy, you're in a vast majority of Christian girls. No pressure but tell everyone about This CHANNEL!! Also read the book How to Get a Date Worth Keeping.
This is great! I keep hearing people saying you should date to marry because otherwise you're dating to break up and that feels way too serious for me so it's great to hear someone actually saying you shouldn't start off like that!
Okay, so-this is amazing!! Thank you so much for this! 😅 I love the emphasis on not overthinking things in the beginning and on not becoming too serious too quickly once you’re dating. When I’m in a relationship, I will be returning to this, and when I was going on dates in the past, I could definitely have used this!! Also, your earrings are so cute! You look great with your hair pulled back like that!
Yay!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the encouragement!! (And for the hair/ earrings compliment 😍 It was my first time ever doing my hair like that!)
oh man I needed this last year!!! thank you!!! This may be a stupid question, but what if one is too much of an overthinker to be able to work out their own feelings and therefore MEI?
Oh that's SUCH a great question!! So do you mean that you overthink things so much that you can't decide if you're interested in becoming exclusive with the guy? In that situation, I would lean toward giving the relationship a try. If you are in the relationship awhile and you continue second guessing it, then you can end it. But I know with James, I almost broke up with him a few days into our exclusive relationship because I was overthinking it so much! And man am I glad I just gave it some time. He's so good for me! Also, here's a video I did about second guessing a relationship. I hope this can help! :) czcams.com/video/ym2Cg3zRumE/video.html
@@TiffanyDawn Thanks! I ended it because I was so stressed, I was putting off responding to his messages, and he lived 1.5-2 hours away and we were both too busy for that. I didn't want to waste his time and I couldn't see anything developing if I was going to stress about it that much
Thanks for helping explain the stages. I'm in a serious dating relationship and he's the first person I've dated (besides a couple first dates) so I've had to follow his lead about different stages in the relationship. This helps me! :)
Hey Tiffany!! I would love a video on how to wait out that weird impatient time, when you’re ready to get married but you can’t yet (finishing out college first, not financially ready, etc).
I think I have gotten conflicted in what is a healthy and fun approach to the flow of dating and yet guarded in the right stages for the right reasons. For me, dating is something I want to explore because I feel ready for that to lead to marriage. I was never interested in casual dating for it's own sake (not that it might be a wise choice for others). Thankfully God has recently been revealing to me what you so succinctly said in this video! I can still initiate a relationship that can stay at a fun, surface level until we are guided by God to step out in faith to a more committed relationship. Thank you for reminding us one way in which we can guard our hearts in a way pleasing to God and at the same time say "yes!" to the adventures He wants us to grab hold! "To every thing, there is a season." (Btw I'm 40 and have never been married.) Edit: HI NATALIE!😍 I almost forgot to say how much your wave melted my heart! Your Momma's message almost upstaged you! Almost! 🥰 2nd edit: Just watched this little angel sing her heart out to our Lord and I immediately thought "Wow, she looks like a 7 year old version of your Natalie!" She had me in years and I had to share even if you don't think they look alike. 😊 czcams.com/video/pJeoTfxa-3k/video.html
Can I just say that I LOVE this sentence you wrote: " we can guard our hearts in a way pleasing to God and at the same time say "yes!" to the adventures He wants us to grab hold!" What a great way to put it!! 🙌 Also thank you for that link of Natalie's older twin from afar! ❤️
never thought id be with a girl that i felt happy with as a christian but now that has happened at uni through the christian union iam wanting to make sure i take my time to respcet her and god in the relationship and these sorts of videos have been really helpful.
This is so good!! I’ve watched this video multiple times to get it in my head because I ALWAYS overthink it and talk myself out of going anywhere or end up taking about babies on the second date 😂 so good and love how there is an emphasis on how important it is to have fun together !! Thanks for this Tiffany love your work ❤️
praise God even tho I'm married now, this will help me give advice to my single girlfriends . i will recommend your channel to my single girlies! singleness is a great season too! hmmi think i felt my husband was good guy on our first date, i trusted him even tho we got lost in a forest but God was telling me he wouldnt be a creeper or anything XD :) I hope everyone is doing safe and well during quarantine. God loves u all and is with u all beauties
What a great story you guys have to tell about getting lost together! I'm glad he wasn't a creeper LOL - and thank you for sharing this with your single girls! ❤️❤️
First I’d like to say that you looked adorable in this video, the hair and shirt were sooo cute and pretty! Also I think this was some great advice on how to not freak yourself out when you first start dating someone. I think taking your time is super important and you’re always spreading wisdom on just how to do that! Love it!
Amazing video sis!!!☺️💛 So helpful. I'm currently talking to a guy and it's been amazing. We are going to move to phase 3 after having been friends for some time!!! Love you and how helpful your videos are. I'll definitely be needing more advice haha. God bless you and your beautiful family always💛☺️🥰
That is so exciting you are moving to phase 3 after being friends for a long time!! How exciting, and how neat to have the friendship and really know each other first! If you ever have certain topics you want advice on, please let me know! That can give me more video ideas! 😍❤️
@@TiffanyDawn thank you so much sis☺️ I was definitely wondering if you could talk about being strong in keeping boundaries so that a couple can be faithful to God and not fail him with pre-marital sex. Also, what are your thoughts on long distance relationships. Do you think they can truly work? The guy I like is such a good man with a heart after God, but my parents are so hesitant because of the distance. Do you have any advice? I want to honor and respect my parent's advice but at the same time I am so sure about how I feel for this guy. So much love and blessings to you and your family 💕😋 Thank you for being so amazing!
We are on the MEI stage. I had been interested in her for years giving her hints that I was interested in her, and at a funeral recently, she told me that she loved me, and I told her that I loved her too. She said that she would be around so I could see her, and I think she gave me the green light to start having fun together. I was wondering what the next step was, and now I know. I am so ready for the next step in our relationship, but I want to do this right, so thank you for this video. It helps me know where to go from here.
Super useful! I went out with a guy from church and he could not make up his mind about dating me after we already had been hanging out everyday for a month so I was lost in what to do. I ended up just staying friends but he ghosted me really soon after.
I'm so glad this was helpful! I agree - I think if someone can't decide whether or not to date you after a month of hanging out every day - that's a good time for you to step away and say, "This isn't for me." That takes a lot of wisdom and courage - it's awesome you were able to do that! ❤️
I really like your stages, they make perfect sense. My only problem is that so much info about dating (both general secular and Christian) focuses on you basically not knowing the person and starting from scratch when you begin to date. I am dating a guy I have been good friends with for years so we basically did the first two stages without even considering dating (he thought of me as a sister for most of our friendship) and since we know each other well we are getting to know each other better but I think our stage 3&4 are blurred. Advice?
I love your videos. Thanks for talking about all the hard questions that aren't talked about in homes or church. It's one of those topics (dating, boundaries, etc) that aren't talked about enough or in such a safe place that everyone is comfortable asking those more private questions. I grew up in the world and came to Christ in my early 20s. I've never had a boyfriend but I had a guy friend I had feelings for early in my teens. Anyway, this is good information as I am still single and in my 30s so I often have questions (that I talk to the Lord about!) because I only know what the world says about dating, engagement, boundaries, sex before and after marriage, Hollywood and what it SAYS or indoctrinates you with about sex, and what weddings should be. I appreciate everything you're willing to be transparent about. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you.
In the past, I started to like a guy and quickly jumped to “Is he the one?” This is the first guy I have actually dated. We are coworkers and have a mutual friend, so we did a lot of small talk before we hung out on a first date (how were our holidays, how many siblings we have, how are the siblings). I am so glad that I grew a lot from my past and with God. When we actually hung out, I didn’t go in thinking “We’re gonna get married.” He just seemed like a fun, nice guy. (Still does.) I’d say we’re somewhere in between stage 2 and 3. We’ve both said we enjoy hanging out and we hang out with some of my friends, but we’re not official yet.
I loved hearing a little bit of your story! It's so easy to just jump to "is he the one." In past relationships, I totally did that even before the first time we hung out! I'm glad you've been able to slow down and enjoy. ❤️
I'm in stage 2 right now, and not sure if there will be a stage 3. The guy and I were talking so much every day it seemed like a good idea to both of us to fast from us talking for a couple days. To make sure we were keeping a focus on God. It's been hard. So I'm not sure if mutual interest has been expressed but I expressed interest, and he would contact me very frequently. He does seem like a very good guy, but like anyone, has some things to work on. I have absolutely no idea what will happen. But thank you for posting this! your whole channel and ministry is a blessing. Thank you for sharing all of this with us ❤ God bless you and your family!
Ohh great question! I actually have some blog posts about this! Here are the links: How I set up my first speaking tour: tiffanydawn.wordpress.com/2018/07/27/how-i-set-up-my-first-speaking-tour/ How to Start Public Speaking: tiffanydawn.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/how-to-start-speaking-for-an-audience/ I hope those can help! :)
I'm in stage two! I think I want to go to stage three, but I'll hang out in stage 2 for a while longer just to be sure. This video was so helpful in figuring out my own feelings. Thank you so much.
Hmmmm... not completely sure if I agreee a 100%. I do think that even agreeing to go for a coffee is already a step& often we do it cause we think "well I gotta try" but actually deep down we already feel if this could be a fit or not or if we're just meeting for our ego/pleasure.. and often its the second thing? Maybe also depends on how sensitive you are as a person.. for me meeting a guy one-on-one is already letting someone near my heart in one way or the other / making myself vulnerable?
I needed this video a week ago! 😄 I'm glad I know these things now though. Thank you from a person who knows literally nothing about dating. This helps a lot.
Hi Tiffany! Thanks for the video. What's your opinion on dating a few guys at the same time (so I guess stage 2/3?), getting to know them, BEFORE being exclusive with one of them. No kissing or anything, just making sure you're not over-investing in one guy and then getting too disappointed when things don't continue
To be totally honest, that's exactly what I did!! In fact, on the week I went on my first date with James, I also had first dates with two other guys. I thought, "I've gone out with guys before and it never works out, so why wait and see how the first date goes before scheduling another first date?" lol - granted, once I went out with James, I had no interest in seeing the other guys again. I was totally intrigued by James. 😍💕
As a single Christian guy, HOW do you shout and rave about this video enough? How do I get all Christian singles to read How to Get a Date Worth Keeping and stop putting so much emphasis on a first date?! @Tiffany Dawn, thank you for this channel and I'm wondering how to promote you best.
I'm in stage 0 for the past 26 years. Good video by the way, it makes things really simple. And I have no clue what is actually important in stage 3. Never been there.
Hi tiffany I really love your videos and I've been watching them for quite a while. I'm totally love being single but I was wondering what might happen in the future. How would you tackle dating in a family who highly disapproves of even having guy friends?
Oh wow that is a REALLY good (and hard!) question. James and I did a video about when your parents don't like your boyfriend - and I think it might help in your situation too. (Link is below.) The biggest thing I would recommend right now, is that you start to develop a relationship with a healthy and wise adult outside your family. Someone who can have your best interests in mind and help you navigate, "How do I approach dating? And guy friendships? Even when my family might not approve? And how do I know if their disapproval is a true red flag or not?" That adult could be a professional counselor, someone from your church, etc. But I think developing that relationship now can help when you meet a guy you'd like to get to know. Oh and here's the video link that I mentioned: czcams.com/video/XZncqvHuDao/video.html
@@TiffanyDawn thank you for replying but in my situation it's a little bit difficult becuase my mom does not allow me to be close friends even when adult family members. I understand her concern becuase she was a teenage mother and she wants the best for me and I love her for that but I really domt know how my future might look like considering my protective mother. But who knows might change as I get closer to being an adult and I will take your advice as long as my mom is okay with it!:)and thank you again for your positive videos I really love them!
Hahahahaha!!! Girl, I FEEL YOU. I am SUCH an overthinker. James likes to tease me by saying, "I'm Tiffany Dawn and if I don't have something to worry about, I'll find something!" 😂😂😂
Just got to Mutual Interest and SLAGG. I need to learn to chill and allow dating to happen without setting my expectations super high right off the bat.
This is an awesome video Tiffany. I know you're trying to help guys as well?🙂. What if someone is older than me. I'm 26, and they are 40-42 and want to be friends with me. Should I tell her just friends only because of her age? Or shouldn't I let that be an issue
Hi Tiffany, thank you! I love your dating advices! I know that I think too much about certain things, so it's good to be reminded to calm down and have fun while being safe. I'm from Germany and I don't know whether we use the word "dating" differently and whether my understanding of a "relationship" is the same as in the english language/your understanding. You stated that after going/hanging out several times, you'll eventually go into Phase 3 (MEI + SLAGG) and that's where you really get to know this guy. You also said that this is the stage where it's official. I would actually really like to get to know the person already well before it's a relationship of bf/gf - so that I'm sure that I want that romantic part with this person as well, which a relationship obviously contains (not talking about sex, but kissing etc.) What do you think about that? Greetings, much love & blessings from Germany!🎉
That's a great question! I'm not sure how the language differences might affect this, like you said. I guess in my personal opinion, when you are spending a lot of time with someone for a long time, or kissing etc, I think it can lead to a lot of hurt if it's not in the context of an exclusive relationship. Just because if you guys are doing that, it tends to lead to at least one person wanting it to be exclusive, or thinking it is, and feeling hurt if the other person is still doing that with multiple people. I think the beginning 2 phases are totally fine to do with multiple with people at the same time, but it's good to not drag those phases on TOO long or it can lead to someone getting hurt. That's my personal opinion, anyway. I hope that helps! ❤️❤️
This is so great! Not Rocket Science at all. Maybe I would have been more comfortable to date had I known it was not so complicated. These are really simple expectations. Tnx. : )
But what if you're already good friends with the guy? It's easy to jump in too deep too soon because you kind of automatically skip the early steps... If you're already good friends, starting with the boyfriend/girlfriend stage feels so rushed, but what can you do to ease into it? (I'm not currently in this situation, but I was previously-it didn't feel right, so I ended it before it started-and one of my friends is now. Hearing about this would be good for my own future reference, though because good friendship tends to increase a guy's attractiveness to me.)
If one wants kids and the other doesn’t or one wants to be a missionary in some far flung places and the other feels called to there current local church, etc. Why get emotionally entangled and wait till stage four to find conflicting interests? Wasted time and unnecessarily broken hearts 😢
I agree - you don't want to go too long before you realize your life goals are totally opposite! But I do think you need to get to know each other first. For example, James really wanted lots of kids and I (surprisingly) didn't want any kids! But our desires can change -& God can work in our hearts. So we talked about that and prayed about it several times as soon as we moved into stage 4, which was only 2-3 months after we started dating. (We were in our late 20s and had grown up together, so we moved a little faster than if we'd been in our teens.) If I'd said, "No, this is a dealbreaker for me," then we would have been able to break up without dragging it out too long. But we'd already been able to get to know each other first. And it was really good that we already knew each other by then. Because if he'd said that on our first date, I would have run!! LOL. But as it is, I am SO THANKFUL God changed my heart because I LOVE being a mom. 🙌❤️ I'm not saying that'll happen to everyone, but just that sometimes we think our lives are going one direction, when they're actually going to head another direction. Another example is my childhood youth pastor. When they started dating, his wife had always thought she'd be a pastor's wife, but he had no interest in pastoring. But as they got to know each other, she really felt like, "This is who I want to be with." And turns out, eventually he became a youth pastor and then a senior pastor! Of course, you want to talk about dealbreakers, and really pay attention to them. But it's also important to remember that life often goes differently than we think it will. ❤️❤️
what are your thoughts on being friends with a guy? Like is that possible to do kinda like stage 4 but in a different order? Hang out maybe go do stuff together and get to know each other having not expressed any intentions or if you are interested?
After short and long tenures with potential partners, I experienced that I was most deeply unhappy if I found I compromised my adult values. I never committed to those men, because I was so fearful of abandoning what I truly believed. Yes I am a very conservative and happy female! I remained a virgin until I was not. NOT a happy loving day. A capitulation to an older partner pressuring a very very young woman to choose against her values. I am still very sad. But that is my story. It is well with my spirit today.
This video seems to me to present a too 'standardized' kind of advice and set of time frames. But I suppose it might be that this video is meant simply for an ideal or fully normal combination of conditions. In some sense, whatever those conditions are (that is, regardless of the assumptions about those conditions that this video makes), seeking those conditions would be good. But even then, this video is just a fast short video. So I'm stilling thinking about some of the overt assumptions that this video makes.
Hi Tiffany. Met a guy in person from online dating. We only talked about our faith and interests twice but in very long conversations and he spent a day with me. We felt mutual connections but made a mistakes of physical cuddling and touching each other( I guess people call it make out) But we are not in the relationship. This is our first day. And I feel guilty about it and pray with him to God to forgive us and direct us. Because we could not see in person for 3 months and it seems moving so fast naturally. I cannot tell if it is sinful intimacy or it is a natural attraction so I guess something definitely wrong. Because I think it has both. So idk how do we hold our sinful thoughts and continue getting to know this person.
I can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this video! Also - should I use the whiteboard again in another video?
I love the use of the whiteboard and I'd love to see you use it again! The only thing I would say is you should probably use a darker marker since the green is a little tough to read.
Oh that totally makes sense! Thank you!! ❤️
Loved the white board!!! 😍😍
Definitely approve of the whiteboard! Nice to have a visual
Love the whiteboard idea! And the flow chart is clever. However, please use a darker marker & maybe set the board more facing the camera. 💞 one of my fav relationship advisors!
You had me at "we ask all the right questions at the wrong times"! That could be the tagline of modern Christian dating!!
YES!! Totally!
I do think it's true how people overthink a "first date"/ going out for coffee. At a church's young adults I attend, once a year they hold a blind dating sign up. This is where they hook you up with someone else (obv. they know the people who have signed up) and they do the arranging of where you will both meet up and when. There's no obligation for going out a second time. He mostly did this to release the stigma that you have to know for sure if "he's the one" or "do I like this guy?" before the first date.
Allison Lucas Your church is very smart to do this! Men and Women need to interact in a healthy way!
That is SUCH a cool and fun idea!!! Wow!!
Now there's an idea! I know I'd likely "hesitate" (I.e. overthink) at first; buy that's actually a great idea.
I've never been in a relationship and don't forsee any super soon (and I'm 21 lol), but this is honestly the most helpful dating advice I have ever seen. The few times I've had crushes I tend to go straight to "but could I see myself with this person forever?" which is just a bit much and I totally psyche myself out 😂
I'm so glad this could help!! I totally did the same thing in the past: Jumping right to "could I marry this guy?" before we'd even hung out once!! 😂🙈 Like you said, it's so easy to psyche yourself out.
saaameee
Awe!!! That wave from Natalie melted my heart.
MINE TOO 😍😍😍
Great video! I feel like girls need to see this because they overthink a simple date request (guys can too). A guy just wants to get to know you more, thats all. That’s how our grandparents and parents approached dating. The Joshua Harris effect still lingers unfortunately lol
The whiteboard is great! Diagrams are always helpful!
It really is how our grandparents approached dating! As James says, "Coffee is just that - coffee." Thank you for the whiteboard feedback too!
@@TiffanyDawn "Coffee is *just that* - coffee." I love how freeing that is!
This is SOOO helpful! So often I look around at guys I might be interested in and I'll immediately jump to "could I see myself married to him?" I always had in my mind that I wanted to be friends with a guy first before getting romantically involved, but usually that turns into "see a guy, have a few convos, decide I like him, invest in becoming friends/hanging out and then see where it goes". I think I'd like to try to actually have guy friends who are just that, rather than a guy-friend-who-I-want-to-be-more right off the bat. I'll keep watching this to give me a better idea of what dating should look like. Thanks Tiffany!
I totally relate to your comment! That's how I approached guy friendships too for a long time! I'm so glad this video could encourage you!
Hey Lynsey, just know I appreciate your honesty and as a single Christian guy, you're in a vast majority of Christian girls. No pressure but tell everyone about This CHANNEL!! Also read the book How to Get a Date Worth Keeping.
This is great! I keep hearing people saying you should date to marry because otherwise you're dating to break up and that feels way too serious for me so it's great to hear someone actually saying you shouldn't start off like that!
Exactly!! It's just too much precious for the beginning of the relationship.
Okay, so-this is amazing!! Thank you so much for this! 😅 I love the emphasis on not overthinking things in the beginning and on not becoming too serious too quickly once you’re dating. When I’m in a relationship, I will be returning to this, and when I was going on dates in the past, I could definitely have used this!!
Also, your earrings are so cute! You look great with your hair pulled back like that!
Yay!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the encouragement!! (And for the hair/ earrings compliment 😍 It was my first time ever doing my hair like that!)
Marie Garwood, you're absolutely gorgeous💓💓💓❤❤and I will be glad to know you
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Well done Tiffany 👏🏻
🤗🤗🤗
oh man I needed this last year!!! thank you!!!
This may be a stupid question, but what if one is too much of an overthinker to be able to work out their own feelings and therefore MEI?
Following ^^
Oh that's SUCH a great question!! So do you mean that you overthink things so much that you can't decide if you're interested in becoming exclusive with the guy? In that situation, I would lean toward giving the relationship a try. If you are in the relationship awhile and you continue second guessing it, then you can end it. But I know with James, I almost broke up with him a few days into our exclusive relationship because I was overthinking it so much! And man am I glad I just gave it some time. He's so good for me! Also, here's a video I did about second guessing a relationship. I hope this can help! :) czcams.com/video/ym2Cg3zRumE/video.html
@@TiffanyDawn Thanks!
I ended it because I was so stressed, I was putting off responding to his messages, and he lived 1.5-2 hours away and we were both too busy for that. I didn't want to waste his time and I couldn't see anything developing if I was going to stress about it that much
I agree! Timing is everything!!! You can ask just about anything when you learn how to get your timing right 👌🏾
That's a great way to put it!!
Thanks for helping explain the stages. I'm in a serious dating relationship and he's the first person I've dated (besides a couple first dates) so I've had to follow his lead about different stages in the relationship. This helps me! :)
I'm so glad it could be helpful!!❤️
Love the hairdo Tiffany! Super cute😊
Oh yay!! Thank you!! It was my first time ever doing my hair like that 😍
Hey Tiffany!! I would love a video on how to wait out that weird impatient time, when you’re ready to get married but you can’t yet (finishing out college first, not financially ready, etc).
Ohhh what a great video idea!!!
Tiffany, thank you for sharing. Very helpful in not rushing everything. And practical!!
I think these are very accurate I felt these when I first dating my fiance and I'm in stage 4
Congratulations on your engagement!! 😍
@@TiffanyDawn thank you we are looking to get married October 9th 2021 at 3 pm
I love your vibe and humble and down to earth spirit, the world needs more believers like you. I wish we were friends lol!
Awww!! This comment just made my day!! ❤️❤️
I think I have gotten conflicted in what is a healthy and fun approach to the flow of dating and yet guarded in the right stages for the right reasons. For me, dating is something I want to explore because I feel ready for that to lead to marriage. I was never interested in casual dating for it's own sake (not that it might be a wise choice for others). Thankfully God has recently been revealing to me what you so succinctly said in this video! I can still initiate a relationship that can stay at a fun, surface level until we are guided by God to step out in faith to a more committed relationship. Thank you for reminding us one way in which we can guard our hearts in a way pleasing to God and at the same time say "yes!" to the adventures He wants us to grab hold! "To every thing, there is a season." (Btw I'm 40 and have never been married.)
Edit: HI NATALIE!😍 I almost forgot to say how much your wave melted my heart! Your Momma's message almost upstaged you! Almost! 🥰
2nd edit: Just watched this little angel sing her heart out to our Lord and I immediately thought "Wow, she looks like a 7 year old version of your Natalie!" She had me in years and I had to share even if you don't think they look alike. 😊 czcams.com/video/pJeoTfxa-3k/video.html
Can I just say that I LOVE this sentence you wrote: " we can guard our hearts in a way pleasing to God and at the same time say "yes!" to the adventures He wants us to grab hold!" What a great way to put it!! 🙌 Also thank you for that link of Natalie's older twin from afar! ❤️
never thought id be with a girl that i felt happy with as a christian but now that has happened at uni through the christian union iam wanting to make sure i take my time to respcet her and god in the relationship and these sorts of videos have been really helpful.
0.35 she was like "Mom I can't see a goddamn person" xD
This is so good!! I’ve watched this video multiple times to get it in my head because I ALWAYS overthink it and talk myself out of going anywhere or end up taking about babies on the second date 😂 so good and love how there is an emphasis on how important it is to have fun together !! Thanks for this Tiffany love your work ❤️
Hahahaha I relate!! Babies on the second date 😂👏
praise God even tho I'm married now, this will help me give advice to my single girlfriends . i will recommend your channel to my single girlies! singleness is a great season too! hmmi think i felt my husband was good guy on our first date, i trusted him even tho we got lost in a forest but God was telling me he wouldnt be a creeper or anything XD :) I hope everyone is doing safe and well during quarantine. God loves u all and is with u all beauties
What a great story you guys have to tell about getting lost together! I'm glad he wasn't a creeper LOL - and thank you for sharing this with your single girls! ❤️❤️
First I’d like to say that you looked adorable in this video, the hair and shirt were sooo cute and pretty! Also I think this was some great advice on how to not freak yourself out when you first start dating someone. I think taking your time is super important and you’re always spreading wisdom on just how to do that! Love it!
Awwww thank you!! This comment just made my day!! ❤️❤️
Amazing video sis!!!☺️💛 So helpful. I'm currently talking to a guy and it's been amazing. We are going to move to phase 3 after having been friends for some time!!! Love you and how helpful your videos are. I'll definitely be needing more advice haha. God bless you and your beautiful family always💛☺️🥰
That is so exciting you are moving to phase 3 after being friends for a long time!! How exciting, and how neat to have the friendship and really know each other first! If you ever have certain topics you want advice on, please let me know! That can give me more video ideas! 😍❤️
@@TiffanyDawn thank you so much sis☺️ I was definitely wondering if you could talk about being strong in keeping boundaries so that a couple can be faithful to God and not fail him with pre-marital sex. Also, what are your thoughts on long distance relationships. Do you think they can truly work? The guy I like is such a good man with a heart after God, but my parents are so hesitant because of the distance. Do you have any advice? I want to honor and respect my parent's advice but at the same time I am so sure about how I feel for this guy. So much love and blessings to you and your family 💕😋 Thank you for being so amazing!
We are on the MEI stage. I had been interested in her for years giving her hints that I was interested in her, and at a funeral recently, she told me that she loved me, and I told her that I loved her too. She said that she would be around so I could see her, and I think she gave me the green light to start having fun together. I was wondering what the next step was, and now I know. I am so ready for the next step in our relationship, but I want to do this right, so thank you for this video. It helps me know where to go from here.
Ah this makes me feel so much less anxiety and more peace😅😅thank you so much for this video!!
I'm so glad!!! That makes me so happy!
Super useful! I went out with a guy from church and he could not make up his mind about dating me after we already had been hanging out everyday for a month so I was lost in what to do. I ended up just staying friends but he ghosted me really soon after.
I'm so glad this was helpful! I agree - I think if someone can't decide whether or not to date you after a month of hanging out every day - that's a good time for you to step away and say, "This isn't for me." That takes a lot of wisdom and courage - it's awesome you were able to do that! ❤️
I really like your stages, they make perfect sense. My only problem is that so much info about dating (both general secular and Christian) focuses on you basically not knowing the person and starting from scratch when you begin to date. I am dating a guy I have been good friends with for years so we basically did the first two stages without even considering dating (he thought of me as a sister for most of our friendship) and since we know each other well we are getting to know each other better but I think our stage 3&4 are blurred. Advice?
Never thought id need this video again but here I am. Bittersweet but still exciting☺️
I love your videos. Thanks for talking about all the hard questions that aren't talked about in homes or church. It's one of those topics (dating, boundaries, etc) that aren't talked about enough or in such a safe place that everyone is comfortable asking those more private questions. I grew up in the world and came to Christ in my early 20s. I've never had a boyfriend but I had a guy friend I had feelings for early in my teens. Anyway, this is good information as I am still single and in my 30s so I often have questions (that I talk to the Lord about!) because I only know what the world says about dating, engagement, boundaries, sex before and after marriage, Hollywood and what it SAYS or indoctrinates you with about sex, and what weddings should be. I appreciate everything you're willing to be transparent about. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you.
In the past, I started to like a guy and quickly jumped to “Is he the one?”
This is the first guy I have actually dated. We are coworkers and have a mutual friend, so we did a lot of small talk before we hung out on a first date (how were our holidays, how many siblings we have, how are the siblings). I am so glad that I grew a lot from my past and with God. When we actually hung out, I didn’t go in thinking “We’re gonna get married.” He just seemed like a fun, nice guy. (Still does.)
I’d say we’re somewhere in between stage 2 and 3. We’ve both said we enjoy hanging out and we hang out with some of my friends, but we’re not official yet.
I loved hearing a little bit of your story! It's so easy to just jump to "is he the one." In past relationships, I totally did that even before the first time we hung out! I'm glad you've been able to slow down and enjoy. ❤️
I'm in stage 2 right now, and not sure if there will be a stage 3. The guy and I were talking so much every day it seemed like a good idea to both of us to fast from us talking for a couple days. To make sure we were keeping a focus on God. It's been hard. So I'm not sure if mutual interest has been expressed but I expressed interest, and he would contact me very frequently. He does seem like a very good guy, but like anyone, has some things to work on. I have absolutely no idea what will happen. But thank you for posting this! your whole channel and ministry is a blessing. Thank you for sharing all of this with us ❤ God bless you and your family!
Very helpful! Could you do a video about your experience/tips for public speaking and travel?
Ohh great question! I actually have some blog posts about this! Here are the links:
How I set up my first speaking tour: tiffanydawn.wordpress.com/2018/07/27/how-i-set-up-my-first-speaking-tour/
How to Start Public Speaking: tiffanydawn.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/how-to-start-speaking-for-an-audience/
I hope those can help! :)
@@TiffanyDawn Thank you so much!
I think I prefer text over the video than the whiteboard since it’s a little hard to read
Oh that TOTALLY makes sense. Thank you for that feedback!
Tiffany Dawn 😊
Tiffany Dawn It would work if you used a black or darker marker than the light green one :)
I'm in stage two! I think I want to go to stage three, but I'll hang out in stage 2 for a while longer just to be sure. This video was so helpful in figuring out my own feelings. Thank you so much.
Hmmmm... not completely sure if I agreee a 100%. I do think that even agreeing to go for a coffee is already a step& often we do it cause we think "well I gotta try" but actually deep down we already feel if this could be a fit or not or if we're just meeting for our ego/pleasure.. and often its the second thing? Maybe also depends on how sensitive you are as a person.. for me meeting a guy one-on-one is already letting someone near my heart in one way or the other / making myself vulnerable?
This is so good !!
Oh yay!! So glad you enjoyed it! 🙌❤️
I’m 26 and this is the information I wish I had growing up 😩 thank you
ME TOO!! ❤️❤️❤️
Great advice!! I overthink it way too much
I totally did too!!
Great video! Next time, can you use a black (or darker) marker? I can’t really see what you wrote
Ohhh yes - such a good idea. Thank you!!
Such great advise! Thank you so much Tiffany!
I'm so glad it could encourage you!
This is SO helpful!!!!! Thank you!🥰
I needed this video a week ago! 😄 I'm glad I know these things now though. Thank you from a person who knows literally nothing about dating. This helps a lot.
I'm so glad it could help!! ❤️❤️
Hi Tiffany! Thanks for the video. What's your opinion on dating a few guys at the same time (so I guess stage 2/3?), getting to know them, BEFORE being exclusive with one of them. No kissing or anything, just making sure you're not over-investing in one guy and then getting too disappointed when things don't continue
To be totally honest, that's exactly what I did!! In fact, on the week I went on my first date with James, I also had first dates with two other guys. I thought, "I've gone out with guys before and it never works out, so why wait and see how the first date goes before scheduling another first date?" lol - granted, once I went out with James, I had no interest in seeing the other guys again. I was totally intrigued by James. 😍💕
@@TiffanyDawn Lovely! That makes sense! I'm waiting for something that feels just as natural as that :D
As a single Christian guy, HOW do you shout and rave about this video enough? How do I get all Christian singles to read How to Get a Date Worth Keeping and stop putting so much emphasis on a first date?! @Tiffany Dawn, thank you for this channel and I'm wondering how to promote you best.
This is helpful!! Thanks Tiffany!! 💜
I'm in stage 0 for the past 26 years. Good video by the way, it makes things really simple. And I have no clue what is actually important in stage 3. Never been there.
I'm so glad this video could simplify things! I think we make dating way more complicated than it needs to be. 🙈
Hi tiffany I really love your videos and I've been watching them for quite a while. I'm totally love being single but I was wondering what might happen in the future. How would you tackle dating in a family who highly disapproves of even having guy friends?
Oh wow that is a REALLY good (and hard!) question. James and I did a video about when your parents don't like your boyfriend - and I think it might help in your situation too. (Link is below.) The biggest thing I would recommend right now, is that you start to develop a relationship with a healthy and wise adult outside your family. Someone who can have your best interests in mind and help you navigate, "How do I approach dating? And guy friendships? Even when my family might not approve? And how do I know if their disapproval is a true red flag or not?" That adult could be a professional counselor, someone from your church, etc. But I think developing that relationship now can help when you meet a guy you'd like to get to know. Oh and here's the video link that I mentioned: czcams.com/video/XZncqvHuDao/video.html
@@TiffanyDawn thank you for replying but in my situation it's a little bit difficult becuase my mom does not allow me to be close friends even when adult family members. I understand her concern becuase she was a teenage mother and she wants the best for me and I love her for that but I really domt know how my future might look like considering my protective mother. But who knows might change as I get closer to being an adult and I will take your advice as long as my mom is okay with it!:)and thank you again for your positive videos I really love them!
The only advice I could ever give would be on ”how to overthink”. Or maybe on ”how to stress about nothing”. 🤷🏻♀️
Hahahahaha!!! Girl, I FEEL YOU. I am SUCH an overthinker. James likes to tease me by saying, "I'm Tiffany Dawn and if I don't have something to worry about, I'll find something!" 😂😂😂
I’m in the “see you again” phase haha and just getting to know a guy a little in groups, we’ll see what happens!
This helped SOOO MUCHHH, you have no idea!!
you have amazing handwriting! :)
Just got to Mutual Interest and SLAGG. I need to learn to chill and allow dating to happen without setting my expectations super high right off the bat.
wonderful video.
Wow this is seriously so helpful ! Thank youuu
I really like this formula, but wouldn't the key to the first phase be finding someone else with the same approach?
This was so good. It will help me in my relationship to do the right conversation. Thank you 😇
Lots of love from Maharashtra, INDIA ❤ ❤ ❤
Super interesting points!
I’m at the have fun stage!
Aunty Tiffany in my continent and country dating seems to have a different meaning or significance. It seems much easier the way you put it.
Great video!
Thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Stage 2 almost stage 3, praise God🎉
Woohoo!!! So exciting!!😍😍
This is an awesome video Tiffany. I know you're trying to help guys as well?🙂. What if someone is older than me. I'm 26, and they are 40-42 and want to be friends with me. Should I tell her just friends only because of her age? Or shouldn't I let that be an issue
Hi Tiffany, thank you!
I love your dating advices!
I know that I think too much about certain things, so it's good to be reminded to calm down and have fun while being safe.
I'm from Germany and I don't know whether we use the word "dating" differently and whether my understanding of a "relationship" is the same as in the english language/your understanding.
You stated that after going/hanging out several times, you'll eventually go into Phase 3 (MEI + SLAGG) and that's where you really get to know this guy. You also said that this is the stage where it's official.
I would actually really like to get to know the person already well before it's a relationship of bf/gf - so that I'm sure that I want that romantic part with this person as well, which a relationship obviously contains (not talking about sex, but kissing etc.)
What do you think about that?
Greetings, much love & blessings from Germany!🎉
That's a great question! I'm not sure how the language differences might affect this, like you said. I guess in my personal opinion, when you are spending a lot of time with someone for a long time, or kissing etc, I think it can lead to a lot of hurt if it's not in the context of an exclusive relationship. Just because if you guys are doing that, it tends to lead to at least one person wanting it to be exclusive, or thinking it is, and feeling hurt if the other person is still doing that with multiple people. I think the beginning 2 phases are totally fine to do with multiple with people at the same time, but it's good to not drag those phases on TOO long or it can lead to someone getting hurt. That's my personal opinion, anyway. I hope that helps! ❤️❤️
This is so great!
Not Rocket Science at all.
Maybe I would have been more comfortable to date had I known it was not so complicated. These are really simple expectations. Tnx. : )
I'm so glad this could help simplify it! 🙌
Serious stage!!
I totally try to figure out things WAY FAST
I hear you!!
But what if you're already good friends with the guy? It's easy to jump in too deep too soon because you kind of automatically skip the early steps... If you're already good friends, starting with the boyfriend/girlfriend stage feels so rushed, but what can you do to ease into it?
(I'm not currently in this situation, but I was previously-it didn't feel right, so I ended it before it started-and one of my friends is now. Hearing about this would be good for my own future reference, though because good friendship tends to increase a guy's attractiveness to me.)
If one wants kids and the other doesn’t or one wants to be a missionary in some far flung places and the other feels called to there current local church, etc. Why get emotionally entangled and wait till stage four to find conflicting interests? Wasted time and unnecessarily broken hearts 😢
I agree - you don't want to go too long before you realize your life goals are totally opposite! But I do think you need to get to know each other first. For example, James really wanted lots of kids and I (surprisingly) didn't want any kids! But our desires can change -& God can work in our hearts. So we talked about that and prayed about it several times as soon as we moved into stage 4, which was only 2-3 months after we started dating. (We were in our late 20s and had grown up together, so we moved a little faster than if we'd been in our teens.) If I'd said, "No, this is a dealbreaker for me," then we would have been able to break up without dragging it out too long. But we'd already been able to get to know each other first. And it was really good that we already knew each other by then. Because if he'd said that on our first date, I would have run!! LOL. But as it is, I am SO THANKFUL God changed my heart because I LOVE being a mom. 🙌❤️ I'm not saying that'll happen to everyone, but just that sometimes we think our lives are going one direction, when they're actually going to head another direction. Another example is my childhood youth pastor. When they started dating, his wife had always thought she'd be a pastor's wife, but he had no interest in pastoring. But as they got to know each other, she really felt like, "This is who I want to be with." And turns out, eventually he became a youth pastor and then a senior pastor! Of course, you want to talk about dealbreakers, and really pay attention to them. But it's also important to remember that life often goes differently than we think it will. ❤️❤️
This video is so perfect.
what are your thoughts on being friends with a guy? Like is that possible to do kinda like stage 4 but in a different order? Hang out maybe go do stuff together and get to know each other having not expressed any intentions or if you are interested?
After short and long tenures with potential partners, I experienced that I was most deeply unhappy if I found I compromised my adult values. I never committed to those men, because I was so fearful of abandoning what I truly believed. Yes I am a very conservative and happy female! I remained a virgin until I was not. NOT a happy loving day. A capitulation to an older partner pressuring a very very young woman to choose against her values. I am still very sad. But that is my story. It is well with my spirit today.
What is considered as part of the MEI? By that I mean, what is considered too serious to be placed in the MEI phase and what is not?
How do you deal with entertaining opposite sex friends and the boundaries?
wow good video
You look so cool
When does the question "Am I drawn to him, do we have chemistry" come in? Stage 3: MEI + SLAGG?
I would love to see a guy teach the 4 stages.
I disagree, questions about faith and kids should come earlier as they can deal breakers hence why apps now have those details
"SLAGG" works for the guy seeking a girl too 🙃
Girl I'm in stage -4 😂
What if your already friends?
This video seems to me to present a too 'standardized' kind of advice and set of time frames. But I suppose it might be that this video is meant simply for an ideal or fully normal combination of conditions. In some sense, whatever those conditions are (that is, regardless of the assumptions about those conditions that this video makes), seeking those conditions would be good. But even then, this video is just a fast short video. So I'm stilling thinking about some of the overt assumptions that this video makes.
Stage 0
Is that easy to have a bf 😂 I seem stuck at the first stage
Hi Tiffany. Met a guy in person from online dating. We only talked about our faith and interests twice but in very long conversations and he spent a day with me. We felt mutual connections but made a mistakes of physical cuddling and touching each other( I guess people call it make out) But we are not in the relationship. This is our first day. And I feel guilty about it and pray with him to God to forgive us and direct us. Because we could not see in person for 3 months and it seems moving so fast naturally. I cannot tell if it is sinful intimacy or it is a natural attraction so I guess something definitely wrong. Because I think it has both. So idk how do we hold our sinful thoughts and continue getting to know this person.
I don't know but i will pray for you. You both need to have other Christians in your lives helping you. That always helped me.
Use the board with a black pen. 😊
What percentage of people by age 25 never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in the world