Embrace | An Asexuality-Focused Animated Short Film
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 09. 2024
- This short is the animation I made for my grad school thesis, following the narrative surrounding a common asexual experience. While there's a lot I would change now looking back, I'm still very proud of it and wanted to share it publicly for pride month. Whether you're ace yourself or just learning more about asexuality, I hope you enjoy!
Sending love from your fellow ace. đ
MY SOCIALS (Story, Animation, and Background Work):
teshamerkel.com
teshamerkel_
teshamerkel
tumblr.com/teshamerkel
vimeo.com/teshamerkel
VOID LEIGH MORDANT (Background Work):
voidleighmordant.com
brushscape
brushscape
âȘ@brushscapeâŹ
SHIMSHON THE GADITE (Music Score):
shimshon_gad
âȘ@ShimshonGadâŹ
I thing I love about this is how it shows it is different from aromantic. You can see she wants what other couples have, she chases after it but feels something isnât right. She wants romance, but not sex. Then on the book rack aromantic is its own book. I like the little distinction there â€
@@emmasuzanne1890 You are perfect and beautiful just as you are. I hope you will find many good souls who love you as you are.
As a grayro who is not ace, I appreciate the distinction too!
As an aro-ace I saw that too and it made me happy. I know many romantic aces who have/want relationships and spend a lot of time telling people I turn down that ânot all aces are like me.â
Let's not forget that aromantic is a spectrum too. You can want still want a romantic relationship, or at least the idea of it, but be turned off but the reality of it. Like, you want a relationship, but you can't even stand holding hands or kissing.
â@@caerathorntonAroAce
Right
Asexual is a whole Spectrum
this is going to seem random but i really appreciate the indication of an ace wheelchair user. ive been told to my face that my asexuality is because of my disability, and therefore isnt actually asexuality. so i really like that extra touch.
Very closed-minded to whoever said that. People in wheelchairs have intercourse all the time. + People who are amputated.
Of course you are one of us. Iâm so sorry someone said that to you
@@asia22 I am a wheelchair user, but the people are actually referring to my brain injury which left me "emotionally immature"
No one else gets to tell you what your identity is. Bty you are fantastic.
My philosophy is to consider asexuality as a fact. That's who we are. Each of us in our own way, and for some of us, something might have happened in our lives to make us asexual, or not. We can't be sure, but we are still valid nonetheless and speculations on the what and why will never change the fact that that's who we are
I love that the asexual character is a black woman. Black women are often shown in a sexual light and it's nice to see ourselves in different lights
If you want more black ace representation there is a book called Letâs Talk About Love by Claire Kann about a black bi romantic ace struggling with dating and self identity in terms of family expectations and career as well
@@tahraethestoryteller6079 I love that book! I'm a cis hetero black woman who isn't ace at all, and I think it's one of the best romance novels I've come across.
I am a cupiromanic ace and I agree with you :)
Agree
@@TawnyTiramasu sorry i've never heard that term,
what does it mean?
I never understood why I didnât like intimate things like all my friends did. I had a boyfriend that wanted to kiss and have sex. I didnât. Every time we would kiss, I hated it. It was gross. My friends thought I was weird. I was seen as the immature childish one who turned away at sex scenes in movies and kissing scenes. Only a year ago did I find out I am asexual. This is very nice. Very good story. đ
I had a pretty similar experience with an ex girlfriend, so I sympathize there.
Same. Wanted to have a relationship but my only boyfriend only wanted sex. Now I know why. My sympathies and I hope you are ok and happy.
Same here. My boyfriend always wanted to kiss but every time we did I felt nothing. I thought I was weird but then learned about what is ace and I now I'm happy.
I finally worked it out TWO DAYS AGO and this is such a nice video. I had so many Internalised Phobic issues with the whole Alphabet. I was having such a horrible day, desperately trying to deal with... everything. I didn't WANT to dislike people for a choice I knew they didn't make, but I couldn't stop. And then all of a sudden I realised, I'm Asexual, and it doesn't matter. And if my sexuality doesn't matter, then nobody else's sexuality has to matter. It's only as important as we want it to be.
The things I'd always known were true, finally made sense.
I'm still dealing with my issues, it's only been two days, but since I accepted myself, it's as if they're flowing away like drainwater.
@@hyenaholicproductions9033 I'm happy for you!
As a male asexual, one of my biggest pet peeves is people (mainly other men) saying the reason is âlow testosteroneâ or something else idiotic. I find it funny how confident they are about something that they know nothing about.
The reason is because society always says that men always want to have sex which can also be a problem when male SA happens.
@@Extreme2566yup
Be patient man. Let your own nature find it's time to do the do. Your lover is your choice, if they accept and you're not a prick. (But still don't do that crap with kids!!!!)
@@XSilver_WaterX Did you mean to respond to my comment?
@@randomindividual9966 Just making you aware we're a species that still consider halogenic shrooms in the wild better that making through another day eating bland pot roast obviously made bad. But still nice to hear from you!
At 4:10, I love how it shows there is a spectrum of people who are asexual, implementing that were not all the same
Indeed. Whether youâre Todd Chavez ace of hearts level from Bojack Horseman or Georgia ace of spades from Loveless by Alice Oseman, youâre still valid.
â@@ntwwolf6908 exactly!
Iâm grayace, and this is such a comforting short. Iâm not broken. I just donât always want that stuff. And thatâs okay.
@@chipkid what does grayace mean?
@@cheyblake2475 The term gray-ace is short for gray-asexual (also known as graysexual), meaning that an individual occasionally-or-rarely experiences sexual attraction.
IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE A SHORT FILM ABOUT ACES FOR FOREVER!!!! Especially highlighting the fact that YES WE CAN HAVE ROMANCE
being ace doesn't mean we are aro too people!
FR! I see so many people say that we canât be in relationships or donât like them, thatâs what aromantic is. We can still love people :,)
@@TheSkrunkyScrimblo Aromantic people can still love people. It just isn't romantic love. One isn't better than another, just different. Love is love.
â@@hope3290 Yep! I finally got into my first relationship *after* I realized at 32 that I'm aro as well as ace. Now I'm in a queerplatonic relationship with an amazing partner who doesn't expect me to give anything I don't have, but our platonic love & commitment to each other is just as strong as plenty of romantic couples'.
â@@logosgal Congrats!!!đđđđ€đđđ€đ€
i love how she showed the book to the guy from the beginning! i'm really glad that she's not isolated from him entirely, but instead is helping him understand her better :)
also i so appreciate the aromantic mention there!
And I love that it sounds like he wants to understand
@@rosesweetcharlotte Yeah
Yeah
Book about Aromantic also
Iâm not asexual myself, but I understand feeling alone and broken. I like how she discovered the book and was able to relate and find other people like her. Awesome job!
I agree, the book is such a small thing. Finding it was such a random occurence and people might suffer for years until they find a book for them, people like them that tell them they are not alone ;=;
Thanks!!! âșI'm always happy to hear that people can relate even if they aren't ace themselves!
Indeed. I hoped she was going to go in and buy Loveless by Alice Oseman, but finding a book explaining asexuals was perfect. When she embraced her ace side, I just thought, âyouâre not broken and you are not aloneâ.
Same!
@@ntwwolf6908that book really helped me while I identified as ace, turns out Iâm not ace but for three or four years I thought I was so I really get the isolation . Itâs one of my favorite books of all time !
What you think is a âdefectâ, a âriftâ in your soul is, in fact, your identity and something you can embrace. People are different, but they are all beautiful. This is so well done.
Yeah, it's not like we're hurting anyone by not having sex
Thank you for this beautiful comment.
â@@rosesweetcharlotteYeah
This actually made me tear up. The character's experience deeply resonated with me and my own journey with asexuality. It's absolutely beautiful đ
Thank you!!! This was definitely made for the ace community, so thatâs wonderful to hear. Remember we arenât alone in this, and happy pride! đ
â@@teshamerkelI think good part of the video is that the guy is a good friend that would not intentionally make her uncomfortable just needed understanding.
Same exact sentiment from me. Thank you so much, Tesha Merkel, for sharing this art.
Fr I'm crying too. I'm not ace, but just seeing the pain you all go through ...it's like obvi I was aware...but it still broke my heart. No one should feel broken like that đ
@@teshamerkel This is so important for people to see. thank you for making this.
I like how the video doesn't focus on her boyfriend but also doesn't exclude him. The video is about her journey, the main character, discovering herself, but she is still able to make up with her boyfriend, to educate him and reveal her identity, and he accepts her.
as an aroace person, i sometimes feel alone even in the queer community. thank you for making this beautiful video! it really warmed my heart. we are not alone! đ
edit: wording
It really is a very different experience compared to other queer identities. Trust me, I understand how it feels.
I'm also aroace, and trust me, it's weird sometimes. If you know how to accept yourself and be okay with it, others will do the same. Happy pride, my aroace stranger
Aroace as well here. It can be very isolating sometimes, so Iâm always glad when I see representation!
One more to the pile!
Same-
I came out as ace to my mom a few days ago, and she asked why I would want a label if I'm not currently in the dating scene. I'm going to show her this to explain why it helps. That feeling of brokenness was something I have felt since other people started kissing when I was a kid and the label gives a community. Thank you for portraying that so perfectly in the animation of this video.
Donât know if she understood or not but I do. My mom said the same about my sexuality. I personally let go of the stereotypes associated with the label and find Community with people who understand me.
My parents refuse to understand human asexuality, saying itâs only a form of reproduction in nature, and immediately ask when Iâm getting married. May have to share this
I used to cringe at my parents kissing but thought it was a typical child thing like ew gross kissing because I saw it on TV that kids were like that and thought I was just being a normal kid, for some reason my dad yelled at me about it thinking I didn't want him and my mom to be together??? Mildly traumatizing (I am asexual
My mom started to cry because she thought it would mean I would never want partner or get married. She even tried to make it seem like it was no big deal. I still correct her whenever she makes asumptions. At least she supports me a bit more. Still it is tiresome trying to explain to your parents why you are asexual.
My mon doesn't Like Watching porn
She just like im is propably too Ace
This is so much of what my experience was like; ever since I was little kissing and romance scenes grossed me out to the point I would close my eyes and cover my ears when it came on. Everyone, including me, thought âoh this is just normal little kid behaviorâ and I did start to enjoy romances in books, at least well written ones. But kissing still made me feel weird and when I learned about sex I was disgusted and knew I would never have kids because the thought of doing that made me nauseous. But my sisters talked about their future kids and people at my school had sex and I was left wondering âwhy would anyone want that? Why do people get attracted to naked bodies? What am I missing??â Then when I was 14 I read online about asexualility and it clicked!
Exactly! I liked playing wedding games with toy and stuff and the idea of a beautiful ceremony to celebrate two people's love but when I thought of it for myself, it just never clicked. I just couldn't see myself getting married or even having a relationship. Sure I've had crushes on people on people. Sure I liked to make suggestive comments about my favorite hot characters but I never truly wanted to pursue any relationship. I just wanted to write fanfiction about the characters and think about how cute my crush was. The thought of actually dating anyone both scared me and repulsed me. It just never felt like, me.
@@anjie-kun4evur20 yeah! I mean I do want to get married but everytime I thought about that special moment where the bride and groom kiss and seal the marriage I see it as a nessacery chore not something Iâd WANT to do; most of my life I never thought Iâd get married but now I see love as less of a physical and sexual thing and more of a emotional connection with your best friend but they mean way more to you than just a friend
Now us aces can enjoy knowing we were never broken. I did the movie thing my entire life, and after awhile my family knew to just tap me when it's over.
It was pretty close to the same experience for me.
Thank you for sharing your story! I didn't know I was ace until I met the meaning of the word when I was 26 or so. People were pushing with me that there is no way I dont need that in my life, I must be dumb and coward... Im happy you managed to discover so early â€
As an asexual that's having to constantly remind myself that I'm not broken whenever my partner wants to do more than just cuddles and kisses but the thought of doing that weirds me out and I just feel nothing for it, this is nice and very accurate. Its hard sometimes to remember that we're not broken for not having a sexual attraction to others, its just not our thing.
Yep. This hit very close to home, too...
You are definitely not broken. You are precious and beautiful just as you are. đ
Always remember to tell your partner that you're uncomfortable with intimacy. If they continue to overstep those boundaries, they're not a good match for you. You need to respect yourself. â€
@@MidnightSonnet He doesn't overstep boundaries actually, part of it is just...me being scared to tell anyone that im just not into that stuff. but thank you.
@@alexyargee7740 I completely understand where you're coming from. I've dealt with intense guilt and feeling like a burden my whole life. I'm awful at setting boundaries, but I'm trying. If you feel intense fear of setting healthy boundaries for yourself, please see a therapist, preferably one that's LGBTQ friendly. Getting help with our inner demons is incredibly important. Remember, you 100% deserve to be respected. Your partner deserves to know what makes you uncomfortable. If he's a good person, he'll respect that.
The metaphorical imagery cant get any more spot-on than that, really. As asexuals, people think we don't understand the situation we're in, as if we are altogether children, sexually underdeveloped and naĂŻve, in adults' bodies. We KNOW we don't have something that is important to most other adults. We know how different we are. Many of us do try to make compromises for the people we love. It's hard. If we weren't self-aware and aware of our situation, we wouldn't have the flag.
So true
The naive thing is the worst part. Like I'm somehow less of an adult because I don't want sex.
@@rosesweetcharlotte Exactly and itâs not fair for people to tell us itâs wrong to not want sex ):
In my own opinion on being a asexual isnât wrong, itâs just as a people who do not desire sex and want to have a meaningful loving relationship with their partner. Even I told almost the whole church before service that I am asexual. Did not know why people were weirded out by it back then. If anything, I could definitely be a nun (just kidding, donât want to). ;)
@@MegaGermanShepherds That is brave of you though! I could never lol
That "broken" part really got to me. I spent YEARS wondering what the HECK was wrong with me, that I wasn't interested in a relationship in the slightest. I was in my thirties when I finally realized that I was getting a bit old to just be a "late bloomer," and when I saw an article on how the world looks to asexuals it read as a checklist. I am SO glad that there's more awareness now, because if I'd realized that No, Thanks was an actual orientation earlier I'd've been saved some internal drama. There's still a ways to go, but with more resources out there it makes it easier for people to realize that what they think is "wrong" with them isn't.
I never felt wrong, I thought everyone else was weird.
â@@rosesweetcharlotte bahahaha same
I didn't feel wrong but I was seen as a weirdo by others and I hated it. As both asexual and aromantic, I certainly wouldn't change my happy single life to please society but still it annoyed me to be judged. I first did wonder if I wanted someone and just not sex but to be honest, I only wanted to dance, no love interest.
I know how this feels, due to some trauma in my early sexual years it turned me off to sex due to the PTSD. Cue to many years later I have learned how to control my ptsd but I never felt right, I always felt like there was something wrong with me mentally until I read up on asexuality and realized it lined up perfect with how I felt. Now I walk more confident knowing I'm not broken just see intimacy differently than everyone else đ
@@rosesweetcharlotte I almost feel the same way. I thought something was wrong with me at first,
but i saw what my friends went through dating while I was in high school and I was glad I didn't have to deal with that.
Got into the everyone else is weird mindset a year after high school. I didn't find out about asexuals until I was 40 in 2020.
I cried watching this. Also, I'm so happy we have books like this now. When I first discovered asexuality, the literature on it wasn't great. It made it out like we could still live happy lives _despite_ being broken, unfeeling robots and I rejected it HARD. Then I looked into it again in college, once things had gotten a little more concise, and was like "ah, yeah, that's me."
Any name of books like it, it sounds like a interesting read
Heh, Yeah. I think "Understanding Asexuality" was one of the first that dove into the topic, so it leaves a LOT of questions to be answered. There has been a little more research since, so that's good.
Me too. I'm so lucky that I never had to go through the 'feeling broken' phase because I had so much information from the internet
I'm Gen X. There *was* no literature. I was something that I didn't have a word for. Now I know I'm what I call "demi grey."
I love that the aro book next to the ace book on the Pride display is called Cupidâs Bow. Thatâs very clever lol.
This is such a beautiful and heartfelt film! Itâs hard to be ace when even the queer community sometimes rejects us, but it really does help to know that you arenât alone, and that you arenât broken đ€đ©¶đ€đ
making aro joke is mandatory đđ€đ€
In fact, I'm even more offended that queers reject us and behave no better than homophobes((((
@@TarunTao Yeah, I agree - itâs sad that even within the queer community, there is such division. Itâs vital that we stand together to protect all of our queer siblings
I think people with what I would have called back in the day "higher sex drives" can't process is that they get horny and they assume we must feel like they feel when they ain't getting any.
When I explain to people what my experience as an ace grey is, that while I enjoy sex, it is not something, left to my own devices, I really think about.
@@corndogbark5915 on the other hand, it proves that we are all the same people, and some can be jerks regardless of who they sleep with or who they love. equality)
thank you so much for this, im legitimately crying! im 34 and didnt realize i was asexual until this year and have spent all my life thinking i was broken! wish i had seen this when i was younger but i am happy for the younger generations that awareness is being spread.
And yet you'll still get people in the comments saying stuff like this shouldn't be made đ
I'm glad you've figured out who you are â€
I only found out I was asexual last year
I had no idea it was actually a thing and always thought I was unlucky or dumb with love because I have never had a relationship before and came close so many times but then it just stopped before it got to the point of asking the girl out. Mostly in their end
I was 30 years old when i realized that i was asexual (Demisexual)
I'm a sx-repulsed asexual myself, and this is phenomenal!! I hope lots of people see this, so they can better understand asexuality!
Hi fella! Another Sx-repulsed ace here!
Are you spiritual at all by chance
Im Demisexual đ€ đ€ đ in relationship
Same here. The whole idea is disgusting
@@hawkfeather6802 understandable
Tesha you're back! And with an incredibly beautiful animation. As someone who is also asexual, you captured the feeling perfectly of how its like to be ace. I noticed how the main character started out with that vibrant orange to symbolise that she tries to have sexual feelings for her partner so she doesnt seem different, but clearly she feels uncomfortable with it, and towards the end, her bow and clothing changed to purple to show that she finally accepted herself as an asexual. The symbolism, colors, emotion, and animation were all extraordinary and brilliantly crafted. You have improved so much, and i cant wait to see what else you will make in the future đ€đ©¶đ€đ
Iâm back, haha!!! And thank you so much! :âD Love that you picked up on the color symbolism, and Iâm so glad you enjoyed it! đ I definitely made this with fellow aces in mind, so hearing back from the community is all I couldâve wished for. Thanks again for watching and for your kind words! ^^
this video just made me tear up in general! such an amazing video and im so glad itâs making people feel seen! this is what the community is about
â@@MommyToldMeImSpecial as someone who is asexual, I can't fully describe the feeling, but my partner says that he gets this warm fluttery feeling when we kiss. But I never feel anything like that. Looking it up online, it's also an action that can turn people on, but for asexual people, that's not the case
I love this. As an asexual person, I often found myself feeling "broken" because I never knew what it was like to feel the way I was told I should feel. This film really resonated with me for that reason. The character realizing they weren't broken, just different, felt really familiar and personal to me. Not to mention the animation being awesome. Amazing work.
I still absolutely love how this turned out. You did an amazing job on it, especially given your time-frame and how ambitious you were. You kick ass, bud.
Thank you, friend! :â) Couldnât have done it without you. đđ
I really love the visual storytelling with color in this short. At the start she's wearing an orange jacket and bow, which she keeps trying to pull around herself, as if to hide her true colors (she's wearing a grey-purple top underneath). During her date, she imagined her partner glowing bright yellow-orange with passion. She doesn't possess that kind of passion, and when she leaves, she ditches the jacket.
She passes by a bunch of storefronts that are lit up with that same passionate yellow-orange. The perfume bottle on the advertisement "Sparks" is also orange. She is the only one in purple throughout the short until she finds the book on asexuality, and realizes she's not broken, her soul just shines a little differently. At the end, she ditches orange completely and wears a purple bow! :D
This made me cry. I recently came out (really to myself) as asexual. Most my life I have felt like I was broken for not being into what others are and it makes me feel happy and safe knowing others are like me now. Very good animation.
Yeah, not everyone has to like what lots of people like
The detail of color in this is beautiful; having asexual represented by purple, like in the flag and a cool relaxing tone, then sexual represented by its opposing color of this warm energetic yellow. I'm not ace (though I wonder sometimes if I fall within the spectrum) and I'm still touched by the concept of finding yourself and people that relate to you đ„Čđ
I don't like purple flag.
I like purple colour but i feel my asexuality as white colour
You could be demisexual. If you're having urges, but when you are with a guy you feel nothing. I am that way. What happens to demis is that they need to form a tight bond with their partner before they feel urges. In other words their love has to strengthen further in order to feel intimacy.
As someone who is on the asexual and aromantic spectrum both, I feel this deeply. I spent so long in my life feeling odd and left out for not loving other people thr same way. Throughout middle and elementary school I would fake having crushes on people just to seem normal, but I obviously didnt know what love really felt like, so it was always just really awkward for both parties. Didnt help that at the same time I was going through really bad gender dysphoria and didnt know what being transgender was yet either. I felt broken with my body and love, and there was so much I didnt know about me. I am glad to have foubd myself now- a transgirl who is on the asexual and aromantic spectrums (demi for both) and who now understands that I have autism, which infkuenced both of these things, and my understanding of how I think in general. Thank you so much for this.
Actually in tears at this. Im asexual, Im out and Im supported for it but during my teen years I was very isolated. People were a lot harsher about asexuality, they had horrible stereotypes which were more common back and I had never met anyone else at that time and right now Im out, Im in an ace community and Im surrounded by supporters and follow ace spec friends! Im even helping others come to terms with Asexuality but seeing this brought so much joy to my heart, from another ace, thank you.
Absolutely beautiful. I was tearing up.
As an AroAce person, gosh this hit me in the feels. The feeling of feeling broken. Of no understanding what everyone describes as "natural" or "normal" of wanting that, but feeling unable to. Broken
I have often tried to describe my experience, as seeing Romantic and Sexual attraction as this big painting. And everyone can see the colours of this masterpiece, and they are moved. They understand it on a deep emotionel level.
But I cannot. it is as if I am colour blind, and although I can understand why people would find the painting appealing in a logical way, it just does not awaken any feelings in me. What ever "colours" that help people understand the painting of romantic and sexual attraction, are just colours I cannot see.
And showcasing it as a way of fireworks and warm orange colours was another brilliant way to convey those feelings.
i'm so tired of being questioned about my orientation and so tired of being called "selfish" or "emotionless", my mom called me "cold hearted" because i don't want to be with anyone
I'm sorry for what you've been through, and i hope you understand, that you are perfectly normal and natural. [cyber hug
Wow. The scene where the main character finds herself and the purple community is just so beautiful. I love how even the purple in the flag represents community too! Anyways, the fact that the people in the community range in ages is so beautiful and so important to realize. Being asexual and/or LGBTQ+ is not something new: weâve always been here. Weâve been overshadowed by history for centuries, and now is the time to finally come out.
When she grabs the book gently i started crying, then when she saw all the other aces i started balling my eyes out. What a wonderful short film. đ
This is absolutely beautiful, I even teared up a little
Happy pride to all my fellow Asexuals đ€đ
this is beautiful, I've never seen asexuality portrayed in such a beautiful artistic way
DUUUDE THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUSLY ANIMATED AND WELL MADE FILM ;; Wow, the story is told absolutely beautifully and an an ace person I really connected with the main character, I started to tear up at the end when she was able to connect with others like her and realized she wasn't broken!! This is SO well done i applaud you for telling such a beautiful narrative about a sexuality that doesn't often get the spotlight đ
As a grey ace Black woman, this mini movie means so much to me. It helps me feel less broken and less alone đ©¶đ
So many times, us asexual and aromantic folks have been put into uncomfortable romantic and sexual situations. Sometimes, we were even taken advantage of. Itâs nice to know that there is more acceptance and less pressure nowadays â€
Iâm not Ace, but I am trans and I definitely understand the feeling of being broken. Like everyone else has it figured out, but you. Knowing your not alone is a really powerful feeling.
Thank you for making and sharing this. I spent 23 years in a marriage that I never wanted simply because it was âexpected â of me. I am 53 years old with one adult daughter who understands and supports me. I now am single and happily live by myself with my 5 wonderful Meow Meows!†Iâm no longer worried about feeling left out~Perhaps someday Iâll find someone who is right for me. Again,thank you,this really made me feel validated!đ„°
I may be younger at 26, but I've been in a relationship for 5 years and we currently live together. He understands I'm asexual as well! Real love is something that transcends emotion or desire. There ARE people out there that understand.
This is such an amazing representation of asexuality, 10/10
Happy pride, everyoneđłïžâđđłïžâđ
As an aroace person, I've never seen an animation focused around asexuality. It's honestly super validating, I love this short filmđ„°
I'm ace, and I was assaulted less than a yeat ago. I already felt a great deal of shame and like I was broken prior to the assault, but afterwards, I felt even more broken. Like I couldn't be ace anymore because of what had happened. It's a very lonely experience, and it took a great deal of therapy to even begin feeling okay with my asexuality again
wow the power of that scene where we start to see all the other Ace people....
I started crying when I saw the feet and was fully sobbing when they all waved at the main character đ„
that was beautiful
It was so warming to see this video! Coming from someome who is asexual, thank you! That part where she goes in for the kiss and opens her eyes and realizes they are still kissing, and kinda has this "meh, what do i do? Do i still keep going look?" And ultimately realizing it doesn't feel right? Oof! Made me think of my first time kissing! Lmao! đ đ definitely wasnt easy at first but i grew into myself thankfully haha, really wonderful to see very accurate representation! Thank you!â€
Poor boyfriend, he must've thought he did something wrong to make her feel uncomfortable, or that he was so unpleasant that she ran away. But also yay boyfriend, because he stayed with her in the end and even learned about what she's dealing with! What a happy story, and I can relate to it. Very wholesome and heartwarming to see!
Personally, asking out an aro/ace person is scarring. Even now I don't like talking about it but looking at this video is an emotional ride for me. Seeing most other people crying tears of joy is nice, but it hurts when you are crying from pain watching the video. Idk if anyone else really knows the feeling, but the like the emptiness of heartbreak but bitter. More intense emptiness. It's a great film, but I would like it if there was more expression for people like the boyfriend. It doesn't really help soothe the pain when you are helping them on their journey. I'd say more of peace of mind for them, yet it still hurts deeply in your heart. I don't ask out a lot of people (less than once per 1-3 years), which might not help. I've never been in a serious relationship before, and only 1 when I was in grade school so it's safe to say that I'm not the luckiest man on earth, but I've been turned down by every person I've asked out (man or woman). Starting to wonder why so.
@Cyan Alt Personally, I have dated both guys I've confessed to. Both times were terrible and have made me suffer from self-doubt, insecurity, loathing, anxiety, flashbacks, and more. I was bullied, lied to, and neglected by two guys who asked me out, knowing how serious I was when I fell for someone and toyed with my heart. I'm demisexual/romantic; I never fall for more than one person at a time, and I don't experience crushes - I fall head over heels for people, and only if I've known them well for _at least_ a year. They knew this, and one even promised me they were serious as I was. They only even asked me out when I was trying to get over them after 3-4 years. By the end of that relationship, he told me, "I'm sorry. I lied."
With all of that said, if I were you, I would find comfort in your rejections. Simply put, you don't want to date someone that doesn't want you. That doesn't fit you. That doesn't click. This has to be mutual. And if, for the other, they do not feel this way or have their own journey to complete before pursuing romance or another commitment, then you are saved the trouble of being let down in the long run by this unfortunate truth. Because if the wrong person did accept, and you suffer like I did, you'll end up wondering "What's wrong with me?" like I had for years. It's not easy either way.
I found comfort in being single. I have to work on myself, my goals, and better myself for if I ever have a partner. But, in my single life, I've also found that I don't need one to be happy.
Finally, seize this opportunity. Improve upon yourself, your circumstances, your life, mental health, and aspirations. This is the reason being single even exists: Self-improvement. Focus of self and one's priorities. In other words, "Me time." Utilize it to the best of your ability. And, don't let the denials weigh you down too badly. I found comfort in confessing my feelings and being denied, so that I can walk away with closure, and save my heart for someone who will truly desire and chase after it someday. Someone who suits me perfectly, who will not lie nor neglect, and will be just as sincere as I am.
Seize the moments you have being single, each and every one. It's the best investment you could make for yourself and the future love of your life. Wishing you the best. âșïž
â@@josiecroix đ
â@@josiecroix Fellow Demisexual đ€đ€đ€đ
Iâm bi. Your animation just helped me understand that Iâm more than bi, Iâm also ace. I feel stupid being both, but I canât really fight nature right? :â) Iâve been fine on my own, not having any sort of relationship that relies around love etc, I like to have friends to talk to, and Iâm fine with hugging but thatâs about it. Thank you for this sweet animation, Happy Pride Month! â€ïžđłïžâđ
As someone who's also both (biromantic ace), it's NOT stupid at all. You are fabulous just the way you are. Happy Pride!!
@@lavender_coast Thank you for your womderful words! Happy Pride Month! â€ïžâ€ïžđłïžâđđłïžâđ
Biroace folks for the win. âșïžđ€đœ
@@spaghetto9836 indeed! đđłïžâđâ€ïž
Just so you know, your NOT stupid for being Bisexual and asexual. You are lovely just the way you are đ
I cried- oh man. I've been struggling with the notion that I might actually be ace. My last partnership ended poorly because I wasn't as into the physical aspect and I was made to feel like something was wrong with me. You aren't broken if you feel this way. You're just made differently
Finding a relationship is all about compatibility
I legit started crying 3:24 + because I have never felt so seen. Also Iike the added touch of the poster that see viewed was a depiction of what's pushed in media. Thank you for making me feel seen.
I'm not crying, you are. (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS PERFECTLY DESCRIBES IT. I love how there were other shades of purple included, as well as including aces who are in relationships)
This is absolutely incredible- Iâm ace but Iâve never been in a serious relationship so I donât know how much Iâm comfortable with I just know that Iâm seggs repulsed. But the visuals and just the finding the reason why you are the way you are so suddenly and then being like âOH-â perfectly represents my experience. absolutely phenomenal and happy pride month
People who say that aces don't deserve to be in the pride community will never understand what the pride community is for.
We must be allies for ever letter or none of us will ever be truly free and happy.
This short is so important. Aces, myself included, never feel represented in media. I was tearing up when I saw this, I think unlike others in the comments, it was the moment the main character was looking at the ad for "Sparks." I would just stare at ads like that, at pinups and other media in that genre, and be baffled. I couldn't fathom how people enjoyed gawking at other people's bodies, and how the people in that media were ok with being seen in that way. But I also assured myself I'd be fine, I wasn't broken, just late. Well, I wasn't late, or broken, it just took a lot of fighting with myself to realize I was asexual and proud. I still want to love, but it doesn't have to go farther than, well, a warm embrace.
Basically; Thanks for giving all us aces a voice. It means so much to us.
literally teared up watching this. i came out to myself as ace earlier this year and it's been a wild ride figuring things out and coming out as nonbinary/agender later. i\'m still figuring it out tbh, and i still struggle with feeling somewhat "broken" or not a "full human," with that stupid argument that "sex is what makes us human!" also as a bipoc individual, the representation was great :,) beautiful animation, well done!!
This makes me feel so seen! For too long I thought I was broken. Then in college I learned about asexuality for the first time...and only a small few supported me from the beginning. But now, my support network has grown, and I'm proud to be ace.
Thank you so much for this animation. Your style is adorable, and I loved the lighting and colors representing asexuality and allosexuality!
Finding this was the happiest moment for me.
As someone who had went to a pride parade just yesterday as of this post, I thought I was gonna be alone there as I was having trouble finding others wearing their ace pride openly. But it turned out I wasnât alone. I just had to go searching quite literally toward the end of the parade to find others. But they were there. And I was happy.
Fellow aces. Donât be afraid of yourself. Youâre no less âbrokenâ than anyone else. We donât need to be fixed because there isnât anything to fix.
We deserve to be heard. And this short film was a fantastic way to express that need.
Thank you, creator. You made this Ace Gal feel very heard.
I didn't even knew ace people went to pride parades, lol, most people just go there to hook up anyways, I shall give a try too, sister, some day!
@@caranostalgico9249 we absolutely do! ^^ Hell the pride parade I went to had an Ace flag at the front alongside other LGBT flags. You probably will have to look around for a bit tho for obvious reasons, but itâll be worth it!
@@RANima71498 Nice! Thanks!
I am crying. Decades of not fitting in, of having no place in the world, not relating to people and not understanding why, what is it that you're doing wrong, or even just what you're doing different... This makes me feel seen. Seen, and for what feels like the first time in my life, understood. Thank you.
this is so beautiful! the color symbolism, the animation fluidity, the silent storytelling, everything! you did an amazing job Tesha! â€â€â€
A child like feeling. From the comments Iâm getting, you can still want a partner, but arenât interested in kissing and sex. I never truly understood what asexual was till now.
This is wonderful. It's going on my Ace pride playlist. I had the same experience as the character in my early 20's. Went on a date with a nice guy and I felt nothing. The kissing was just uncomfortable. I have always felt bad that I broke things off. A few months after that, I found asexuality on the internet. I wish I had known about asexual and aromantic in high school. I also like that aromantic had it's own book. đđ
A little while ago, people at my school and my friends started talking about things that, while harmless, made me feel like I wanted to squirm out of my skin. At the time, I didn't know what asexuality was, so I just figured it was because I was young. However, when it still didn't feel right to me, I did some research and have come to the conclusion that I'm ace. This film made me feel really seen, so thank you! (This was long sorry)
This perfectly why asexual representation and education is so important. Nobody should ever be left to feel broken and alone.
Honestly, Iâm just glad this exists, asexuals barely get any representation. And this could show some asexual thatâs struggling, to know theyâre not alone.
I love how all the asexual people seen at the end are in different shades of purple because not everyone's asexual experience is the same.
3:05 I love the visuals of discovering things about yourself and learning that what's part of your identity does not mean you're broken and cannot be fixed. The acceptance made me a bit emotional
I wish I'd had content like this as a kid. All those years I spent being told there was something wrong with me.
Me too! Most people tend to forget that LGBTQIA+ people should be featured on shows so that there's less sexist/homophobic people.
I understand that feeling when I was figuring myself out. It feels like your broken because you don't feel the way you think you're supposed to feel or be, but you're not broken! You just like or don't like people in a different way and there's never anything wrong with that, always remember that and always love yourself! đ€đ©¶đ€đ
I like the film, and I like the use of color, purple for asexuality, yellow for those who feel sexual desire, and the jacket being yellow/orange to symbolize something hiding who she was.
So glad to see this one out! I saw it on silicon valley queer film Festival where our film was showing too, I'm so glad to see more animated films on the rise! Great work! đđâ€ïž
It's nice to see something that actually puts asexuality in a positive light instead of making the character seem "lonely" even if dialogue would have seemed easier for a sense of how close the characters were. The end when she gave her partner the book was a nice touch to further show that there was nothing wrong with being asexual
Im Ace in relationship
Every time people mention romantic/sexual culture like it's normal, I feel so triggered and lonely. I came here to remember that I'm not alone in the way I am.
This was so beautiful. I think it could speak to many people. I'm not ace but I am in the process of getting and adult autism diagnosis, and the scene where she sees she's not broken and there are others like her- I almost burst into tears, I felt it so hard. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.
Im propably Autistic
as an ace person, i loved this so much. it explained perfectly how it feels to be ace and how comforting is to know there are others like you! that's really amazing and i wish more people could see it
As a complete Aromantic Asexual, this ace film means a lot to me, because not all relationship is needed to be sexual, it comes many different ways and I'm upset many people keeps saying that all relationship needs sexual moments, to me a true relationship is respecting your partner no matter what and just because your Aro or ace doesn't mean you can't experience it too, it can be felt platonic or romantic, and yes there are some asexual who are willing to do it, not out of pleasure, but for connection for your partner physically, so this means so much, even thought I'm happily single, it still brings a smile to my face seeing this, so thank you so much for making this video
Have a amazing life!
I donât usually get emotional over things but the scene specifically showing all the other ace people around them made me tear up :â) beautiful animation.
I always love it when queer representation includes old people. Being ace is nothing new and whether someone found out many years ago or only in their later life that they are some flavor of queer, it's beautiful.
I read stories of elders hearing of asexuality for the first time and being overjoyed of having a word for what they felt throughout their whole life. Thinking something is wrong with them, thinking they are broken in some way. But they were perfectly normal this whole time and they get to be relieved of this worry that may have been eating away at them in the back of their head.
I've got a friend to thank for introducing me to the demisexual label. I was complaining to them one day about how I don't understand how people can find someone "hot" and want to have sex with them after just seeing someone for the first time or barely knowing them. I can find people pretty, but I'm only attracted to them once I formed a bond with them. And that can take a long time! I always say I need to be friends with someone first before being able to maybe love them and be attracted to them. And they told me they were coincidentally just reading about demisexuality and that what I just described was exactly that.
It's beautiful to know oneself.
I'm aro, acespec, and aplatonic, and I sobbed watching this. I relate so much to this and experienced a lot of similar feelings on my journey to accepting myself. Thank you for sharing this
Truly wonderful. I'm not ace but someone very close to me is, and as soon as I'd watched this through once (the essential sensitivity check!) I called him in and watched it again with him. Actual tears were shared and many hugs were had
I'm not ace, but I absolutely LOVED this! Although I do not share the same experience, I understand and accept the experience and I adore how beautifully it was portrayed here. Well done! đ€§đđŒ
When I was younger, I never could understand why a kiss never felt right. You grow up being taught that having a girlfriend or boyfriend was what you should really want, that being together would make you.. happy. But then, when you get there, and it doesn't, you feel broken, like there's something wrong with you. I understood other sexualities from a young age, gay, bi, lesbian and so on, but I'd never seen or even heard of being ACE. I thought I was erotophobic, just.. scared of intimacy. But as I grew, I stumbled across asexuality at random and it was so... liberating, to learn that there were others, just like me. That I wasn't 'wrong', that I wasn't as different, or as weird as I thought I was. And I love that media like this is slowly becoming more prevalent, so that others who don't know, and don't feel like they fit in, can find out.. why.. so they can find out, they're not wrong. That we're out there, too
Iâm an ace who is sex repulsed, but still loves to give hugs and kisses. I salute my fellow aces out there. We are not broken.
Me too
Hug and kisses are đ
Same here :]
I was, what I can best describe as, âtemporary aceâ/âtrauma aceâ because of some stuff that happened, but I remember feeling broken and like there was something wrong with me. I obviously canât understand it from the âpermanent aceâ/âog aceâ side of things, but I still remember the feeling of being broken and trying to make myself be ânormalâ. I can understand from the autistic/trauma/psych side of things, which is that feeling broken because youâre born a certain way will always be a feeling that hangs around. But it eventually becomes less intense or shows up less often. Itâs scary, but youâll make it through as long as you have something to survive for
Being an asexual myself it can feel like youâre alone, not feeling how others feel about attraction to peoples bodies. Everyoneâs always talking about âhow hotâ someone is and all I see is a person, nothing special. Relationships are hard because some people only want your body.
The kiss resonated so much. It's just a "social gesture" to me. I felt bored and "that's it? I don't feel anything" when tried petting. It did not get anywhere.
It's a pretty moment of "having sexual urges and feelings" being of sunny and warm gold, while ace -calm purple and hint of silver/white
I teared up watching this, and as someone who is also aro on top of being ace I appreciate that you put in an aro book right beside the ace one so that it was at least in frame. I loved this, and I wish you luck.
I know I'm somewhere on the aroace spectrum, but jesus you didn't need to call me out like that with the kiss scene lmao /lh
I actually feel like a lot of people can relate to some degree to this video because of the stereotypes regarding "dating/relationships" in general. I remember hearing someone describing the idea of "seriously dating" over a radio station that was playing to mean "sleeping" with the other person and wanted to gag. The fact that the media likes to put all romantic relationships automatically into this realm seems somewhat animalistic. There's very little emphasis on the idea of building up to a point where two people could trust each other to that extent and there's plenty of things that would make people hesitant to "jump" into bed with someone. Maybe one person feels hesitant about even kissing someone until they feel an emotional connection to them. Maybe someone doesn't have a lot of experience kissing or has had a less than pleasant experience in the past. Her concerns about not getting "butterflies"/a rush automatically when kissing could make someone doubt if they are a good "boyfriend/girlfriend" in general when they don't have the expected reaction. Maybe you don't want to get pregnant (if female) and want to know that the other person has planned ahead for preventing pregnancy as well. The list goes on, but not everyone who does not fall into the asexual category is in a hurry to the bedroom with the people they date.
So beautiful! Thanks for this! I finally came out as Ace a year ago after years and years of thinking I was just broken and not knowing what was wrong with me. This short film did such a great job of capturing my experience without ever saying a word.
This made me cry so hard, itâs so nice to see a piece of media about the most obscure part of myself that I can relate to. Itâs scary when you start to get into relationships, you never know if your sexuality will end it and you have to speak up about it before something you will regret happens. Itâs amazing to have all these Aces and those who fall under the umbrella here to share how we feel and to know we arenât alone. Thank you so much. đ
This short film actually made me consider the chance I might be asexual. Never really had interest in any lewd stuff and more intimate forms of touch make me slightly uncomfortable, despite maybe some thoughts/fantasies about those kinda things. I'm still not 100% sure, but this might be a big step into discovering my true self. So thanks for making this. It is very much appreciated
oh man this made me tear up. I struggled with accepting my asexuality for a while and grappling that misconception I was "broken" somehow. This was really beautiful, thank you for making this :_)
I love how much detail was put into this, in the beginning, she's wearing almost all yellow, because she doesn't realize she's asexual and is trying to feel "normal". But in the credits, she's wearing purple showing that accepted her identity and isn't afraid to show it. I love this so much omg
This is really nicely animated. It's encouraging to see creators starting to make content reflecting our experiences. I struggled a lot with my asexuality and it took a very very long time to reach out to the community, but it was indeed life changing for me to talk to other asexuals and feel 'normal' again.
This is really relatable. I got depressed and felt so alone with the Internet's hypersexual culture, and it just became worse and worse. It felt like no one was real anymore, like they couldn't experience emotions or care at all about friends or family, because of this aspect. I'm still confused about myself but it's really nice to think that, maybe, I'm not alone... It makes me cry. :( Thank you to the person who made this film and the kind community in the comments.
as an ace person, I literally started to cry at the last part with lots of ace "souls" bc they're difernet, they're diverse and that's it! anyone can be asexual, asexuality doesn't have a "look"
Different
Right.
We Are different
This was recommended to me on Twitter and I thought that it's worth checking out.. well now I have tears in my eyes. To see the feelings and doubts I too experienced so clearly illustrated in this work of art reminded me of the time I felt just as alone. Just as broken. Finding the word for how I'm experiencing the world is so so valuable, only someone in a similar position can probably relate. It gives me the words to speak and share my feelings. And it gives community. Even if you rhink you are alone right now, you never are. There are people waiting for you. Please keep walking so you can meet them someday.
Whatever society may deem the norm or what other people may tell you, you don't need fixing because you were never broken. You will find happiness in your own way, if you haven't already. Never deny yourself the love and compassion you deserve. Seek out others. Embrace yourself đ
I am not broken, I am not unworthy of love, and I am not alone.
As an aromantic and strict asexual person, I say that this video represents me a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm broken for not feeling love the way people say it should. I like kisses, hugs and caresses but I never want to have sex and that's okay! The only certainty is that I need to live being who I am and feeling that I'm doing it right!
Same
I can kiss,hug
iâm asexual and this perfectly represents how I felt. I had a similar thing happen to me that happened to her at the beginning and i found out i was asexual through free-comic book day. One of the free comic books I got was Jughead and through that I found out i was asexual. I absolutely adore this and is already my favorite short film. I cried while watching it.
That moment she âfinds herselfâ and sees that sheâs whole and perfect as is. I burst out crying. They way you were able to capture those emotions without dialogue, amazing.