The Difference Between The Ego Self and Your True Self
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- čas přidán 15. 12. 2020
- It's hard to always know if we are acting out of ego or out of our true self. But it's important we learn the difference because when we act out of ego, we never feel truly satisfied because the ego seeks from the outside to overcompensate for a lack on the inside - which, it can never truly do. Watch this video here on my channel @Julia Kristina Counselling a few times and really take it in, and learning how to act out of your true self vs. your ego self will transform how you feel everyday.
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#egoself #trueself #falseself
Hey you all, what was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on Ego Self vs. True Self?
It's interesting that I think I knew all this pretty well, which improved my life so much over the last few years. But yesterday night I was processing a painful event of the day and for a few hours my ego prevailed and it was a firework of negative thoughts. I couldn't sleep so I looked at my phone and found your video, which reminded me of the right way to direct my thoughts and actions. So helpful, thank you!
So, my takeaway is that, once again, we can build and strengthen new synapses but the old ones are still there, a bit weakened but still there. So, we cannot stop working on ourselves!
Recalling different scenarios I can separate the P's from the C's in them.
The C's feel more comfortable while the P's Promote anxiety & stress!
So many times I think we operate on autopilot so this will help me in taking a step back to feel where I'm coming from.
That authenticity is hard to do when your self belief/confidence is shot
My True Self was with me when I was born & then the Ego took over. Thank you this reminded me of the true self hidden behind the shield. Vulnerable
How to identify ego ? 1. What can I prove ? 2. Am I trying to avoid feeling ? 3. Who do I try to please ? 4. What am I trying to create ? The four seeds for authenticity: 1) motivation: what to contribute, 2) how to connect and 3) what to cultivate in this life. I began to plant these seeds before I know this. Working as a university lecturer gives me a great platform to be the authentic self.
“Because we’re trying to protect ourselves from the reality of being imperfect.” THIS WAS NEEDED. It’s ok to not be perfect, no one is, and that’s ok.
Sh*t why we are all trying to be perfect
YES! Growth mindset.
Amen! Love this :)
In the Spirit, our eternal True Eternal Divine Presence we are perfect! When we identify as the temporal finite ego character we will suffer.. Our imperfect ego character we can find compassion and understanding for its ignorance, both mine & others.. learning to align our thoughts and feeling with our Higher Self🙏
@@flexsormusic6721
Because of shitty parents or shitty society standards etc
Ego is the shield from vulnerability but the antidote to authenticity. Such quality content 👌🏽
You put it so eloquently here
So Verry true !
Thankyou this was very helpful.
Yesss deff but the ego will be vulnerable when it okays the victim, but it's still about what's in it for me as opposed to surrendering to the Divine- how can I serve🙏
True and sad. The strength of the shield can be astounding.
This threw me for a loop when you said that people pleasing is about ego. I always viewed my people pleasing as coming simply from wanting to be accepted but...it makes perfect sense. When I am people pleasing I am not being who I really am. Thanks 😊
Ego 4 Ps
Prove, protect, perfect, please
Authenticity 4 Cs
Create, contribute, connect, cultivate
I battle with my ego a lot , just to stay humble and balanced , great lesson !!! awesome channel !!!!!!
Ego
1. What can I prove
2. What can I protect
3. What can I perfect
4. Who can I please
Authenticity
1. What can I create
2. What can I contribute
3. How can I connect
4. What can I cultivate
2 minutes in and you’ve already explained the ego that makes sense! This is why our instinct is to protect and avoid pain…it’s the ego self👏🏼
I always feel like i'm not interesting enough and that I never fit in enough so I'm always trying to connect with other people's emotions by pleasing them and even by victimising myself sometimes...
Thanks this video really helps ❤ its amazing how much better I feel when I stop trying and when I tell myself I'm enough. Suddenly I don't feel the need of having this one person that it's going to make me feel ok with myself always, I can do it myself, and that way I'm a much better friend
I feel dumb not even knowing about or understanding ego and I am almost 40 years old. I was bringing negativity into my relationship and I didn't even realize it was my ego. Since looking into this, I have learned that it's ok to be flawed and not perfect. I don't need to have all the answers and that I will be loved for who I am. I realized my ego was preventing me from admitting I was wrong by trying to explain myself for being wrong or not knowing something. It seemed innocent enough but it is an act of lying and dishonesty. Being wrong or not knowing something is OK.
Also, I realized my ego was causing me to be more defensive than I needed to be. This was because my ego was telling me that I had a right to be defensive and I didn't take into account what I may have done or if my expectations for the situation were wrong or if I was interpreting the situation incorrectly. Also, my ego was not living in the present but in the past or the future and acting out of past experiences and of fear of future unknown outcomes. When I realized that my feelings and my ego were connected, a lightbulb came on.
I have lots to work on but being new to the concept of ego, it is causing me to look at things so much differently. I vow to be more present and live in the present. And to be mindful of being myself, my true self, and to check my ego and try to put it away. For I do not need to be scared of expressing my feelings or showing my true self, my partner loves me for me. She is a wonderful human and I wish I had known all this sooner. She has opened my eyes to be my better self.
I appreciate videos like these to help me to be a better me. Thank you!
This is why I have trouble communicating wish someone I’m in a relationship with because I’m afraid of rejection
Word it’s like I’m trying to say all the ryt words no words 😶 come out 🤦🏿♂️
Same.
I am feeling so happy to be back. Set in my intention to breakthrough and be my best self🙏🏽🌱
EGO:
What can I prove ?
What can I protect ?
What can I perfect ?
Who can I please?
Authenticity:
What can I create ?
What can I contribute ?
How can I connect ?
What can I cultivate ?
Thank you so much 💚💚💚
Thank you 👍
Thanks appreciated.
This is one that has taken me so long to understand. I just turned 47 yesterday. My hope is my own children will learn this earlier than I have! It feels so exhausting when we are not genuine! Am I sensitive, do I cry more than maybe most? Yes! LOL That’s just me! Happy, sad, frustrated, when in pain and when I’m grateful! I cry! LOL I was ashamed of things like this because I felt so different. But my connection to my loved ones has deepened! They are more meaningful now that I’ve practiced what you’ve been teaching! I’m so very grateful for you and feel excited to keep breaking through and just love life! If we are made to have joy as I believe we all deserve this! You make perfect sense! Thank you! 🤗👍🏻❤️👏🏻👌🏻
I am in the process of mentally beating my ego to death. Your ego will ALWAYS find ways of sabotaging your desires, and to try to tell you you're not good enough or not worthy, because it doesn't want to give you permission to take risks that go along with inner growth.
This is a DAMN GOOD video!
I see you doing the work, John - and just a reminder that there's no need to beat up the ego - just notice and observe it and then make a conscious choice that is authenticity-based instead.
Yessss!! Some people call the ego the inner child. When I talk to my inner child in a loving and compassionate way instead of a critical way, it changes everything!! It makes me feel lighter and more optimistic! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Thank you Julia Kristina!!! This is a very good video!!!! I hope you and your family have safe and happy holidays!!!🎄🎁❤️
Often I do not realise that my ego is overriding me . I sometimes mistake it for intuition. it's tricky to know where is this coming from. I have to start checking my inner voice and finding out if it is preventing me from authentic decisions. Tks 🙏
Ego finds ways to sabotage your desires? NO its your ego that desires those things in the first place, all your desires stem from ego, even the seemingly 'good' desires are done in order for temporary pleasure for your ego which keeps you away from your real self.
"try to tell you're not worthy?" yes because your ego benefits from that too, your mind likes telling itself that it's not deserving or worthy to keep you distracted.
"inner growth" is another concept of your ego, you strengthen your ego by 'improving yourself' because you think you are a better version of yourself, until a crisis hits you and you react in the same old ways, if you don't then yeah you've actually stumbled upon something genuine.
Really well explained. As you say we all have an ego, the trick is to become aware when it comes into play. Then the difficult part is learning how to deal or respond to a situation in an adult mature balanced way.
This is the most practical contents about the ego vs intuition. So helpful. Thanks a lot Julia!!
Hi I'm Brian.. I've just very recently become aware of what a huge problem ego has been my whole life.. it is my goal to be my true self and to represent my true self.
Thank you Julia,well said.a very simple explanation and well profound.its a great help for me.
I was a people pleaser. The problem i had was when I stopped focusing on others as much, I felt more anxiety and thought people would notice the change in me and would think something was wrong. I felt better when I gradually phased it out to a point where I WANTED to do things for people rather than all the time. I personally have always had problems with what others think of me, its very tiring. I'm glad I became aware and am now watching a lot of these types of videos to learn about my authentic self. I'm desperate to live my genuine authentic self, at 37 years old I've got time to live my life over again and see the world and people through new eyes. Thank god for videos like these, I mean who else teaches us this stuff? That's a genuine question btw
I like the way you put this. Being a people pleaser, I guess I never thought of it as.... actually doing things for others because you are trying to please them vrs. genuinely WANTING to do things for others. I guess where you have to draw the line is....realizing if you are doing it out of pleasing or not. Right? People actually WONT notice the change that you are helping others more genially because thats actually....normal? The anxiety of people pleasing is all in your mind.
Totally relate and I’m 20 , you got this babe !!!
@@GirlKeepItReal what a beautiful thing to say, thankyou 💖
Hi I like the Holistic Psychologist, Gabor mate, and Patrick Teahan LICSW (all on CZcams) for more psychological info, support, and help
Watch thewizardliz she will help you❤️
So nicely put together and easy to remember on our own, thank you :)
This has come at just the right time for me, thank you Julia😊
This video is so good. One of the best I’ve ever heard.
Addressed one of the questions I had. Thank you so much.
So fantastic! Thank you for these great Ps and Cs!
Getting curious has been big for me. I encourage anyone to do this. It’s a total shift in energy....
This is super helpful, thank you!
This really opened my eyes up so much thank you so much
I'm glad to be here! Thank you for this content!
I am always learning from you:) Thank you!!💖
YES NEEDED THIS THANK YOU
I get so many aha moments when I listen to you! Thank you 🙏
Intense!! Really intense. Made notes. Thanks, Julia!
Gosh this is good. Looks like I am discovering myself. And thanks for the final reminder! Kind to yourself!
Thank you for this clear distinction between ego and true self.
" I am not enough" ... a good Mom to my only son who lost his Daddy in 2012. My ego lashes out when he does not act in the way my ego expects! I am here for serious Counseling thank you for being here for me!
Thank you so much for this amazing video 💗
This is so helpful!
Thank you very much, Julia for your brilliant explanation
Thank you! Would love more on this topic!! ❤
Thank you! This is beautiful and so helpful. I'm so very grateful for your contributions to our world.
This is such great content
Everyone! should listen to this
Thank you Julia
Life-changing talk--thank you!
Great! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!! This is just Divine Wisdom!!!
Thank you so much 💯
Hi . You are wonderful! Thank you a lot for what your doing.
Thanking you from the heart❤️
Such quality content. Thank you!
You are a gem Julia, wise and humble at the same time... That´s a gift.
Thank you so much 😊
This is the best video that explains the ego and how to recognize it !!
Excellent and rare topic! Showing up clean!
Great teacher ❤
I’m back to this video for the 2nd time and hopefully more in the future because it is really helping me with what I already believe! Thank you
Love this. Thankyou. A very clear and ‘clean’ way of describing the ego 💛😊
Love what you do, its helped me get a better understanding of who I am and why I feel the way i do along with how to handle it
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen. Thank you so much for this.
I thought I knew the difference... however I needed some extra clarity apparently! Thank you!!
Very useful, thank you! I found this video the most useful on this subject. 👏🙏♥️
This stuff is always so gosh darn Brilliant 👏
Thank you for the work you're doing and how you are contributing to the lives of others. I have benefitted a great deal from the shift society and a lot of the videos here on CZcams.
Fantastic video. Thank you .
Thanks for your help.
This is awesome 😎 I will apply this for myself and with my clients. Thanks for sharing!
Fantastic content. I love how in-depth and practical your content is. This video reminded me that I really have to be self aware in situations where I need to analyze whether I'm reacting based on my ego or from my core beliefs as an individual.
Great video✨ Exactly what I was seeking to find. I am a better today than I was just 18 minutes ago. I owe it all to you. Gratitude🙏🏾
Great subject very well explained. Many thanks.
Great comparative breakdown! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the collective.✨
Thanks you make it clear for me ,i was confused
Thank you so much .
thank you. please dont stop posting.
Impressive articulation.❤
Thank you
This is educational for me right now. I can see these traits in myself but also in my good friend of three years. I have had difficulty communicating with her for these past months and I just discovered her ego is hiding her true self. It has gotten to the point that I feel uncomfortable around her. I thought at first she was bullying me. Now I can see clearly what she is doing to me: trying to prove and protect herself by needing to be perfect, needing to be right in almost every topic we discuss. She is a retired NP, a few years younger than I. Today we were talking about the Olympic women’s gymnastics free exercise. I said the floor has springs under it vs a plain floor. She corrected me…you mean a matt. I feel like a light has gone on in my mind. Thank you for this in-depth lecture. Boy, do I feel better. I see the very traits I exhibit with my inflated ego. I can stop people-pleasing with this friend or others and safely be my authentic self which is getting more evident everyday. My question Julia is how do I communicate with her? Do I say she does not need to be perfect around me?
Thank you 😊! This is my first time tuning in, but certainly not the last. SUBSCRIBED! 🙌🏾
Glad I found this channel
Prove, protect, perfect and who can I please. So powerful
Wow!! So glad i found this.
Cristina muchas gracias por tu generosidad! Blessings
Wow ! Wonderful.
Great explanation. Most needed video.Thank you dear
This video was a major wake up call. Thank you so much. :)
thank you !!! ❤ am in the middle of a messy separation and realising exactly how ego driven i am/ have been in my choices especially towards accepting that its ending.
Great stuff, I took notes, can't wait to apply.
mindblowing👏👏👏👏 Truly needs such content. Thanks a lot 🙏
Thank you so much. Love your style and the black and white video 🙂
Enlightening, Thank You.
I love this and how you spoke it
I needed to to watch this video. It's been an eye opener. Thank you
Ego or Hero!!! Thanks so much for this video! And for all your amazing videos. Personally, my first introduction to your therapy was when searching for self-sabotage solutions.
The ego attaches to things, beliefs, people thoughts etc. The self observes, it is free of attachment.
The ego has many opinions, the true self just is.
Meditation helps with this dissolving of ego and becoming present and none attached. It takes some time to get used to and ego will sneak back on a regular basis. The ego does not want to die so it fights on the way out. My "Dark Night of the Soul" lasted about six years as ego was being stripped away (and still is). It was my encounter with a Narcissist that catalyzed this.
Prove, Protect, Perfect, Please - if you unpack these you will notice attachment to a belief about yourself. One that was likely given to you when you were a child, it served you then to stay safe. For example we said "yes" to a parent so we could get love (or what passed for love) even if we did not agree with what the parent said or did. Ego is birthed in these moments.
I spoke to my friend last night that is enneagram 1 Perfectionistic. I mentioned to her the way out, that she is lovable even if she is not perfect. Embrace imperfection in yourself and others. We are all working on receiving of love including our own love and that is something (my) ego rejects as it is still attached to a false belief.
I could discuss this for many more paragraphs as it has been something I have been working on for several years now. Still trying to understand the golden shadow and allow it to find me.
This video is a true gem, in terms of reflecting on our adult development.
THANK YOU!!
Thank you for clearly differentiating between ego and authentic self. And the 4 Ps and 4 Cs . 😊
This is absolutely amazing
Julia. This video was probably the most powerful and best tool i have been given to navigate my interactions with others! I try to always check my intention before interacting/responding, but i now have the gift of running through the 4 “P’s and C’s” to make sure i am coming from a place of authenticity and not from ego!!! SO THANKFUL!! I LOVE the tools you provide and the examples of how to use them!! Gotta become part of the shift society!! ❤️
I've loved this video, congratulations!
I had no idea how badly I needed you in my life.
On my healing journey and realizing how much ego I have. I do have lots of authentic self, but really need to trust and love myself more to let less ego in. Love this video.
I love this! Thank you. :)
Ohh my good lord. How did I only meet you today? Wish I could subscribe 10 times. Thanks so very much. I work with children and teenagers and I can promise you I will be using these 4 Ps and 4 Cs to motivate and empower my, community, young people and families as much as you have empowered me with your words. Thanks 😊
this video is heaven sent im so glad I came across this! I'm in my mid twenties and I used to act so authentically but I started getting more and more depressed and super anxious. til it dawned on me that I have been acting out of pride/ego. especially in this day and age of social media everything is so curated! it's exhausting to always try to 'perform' to be liked or accepted or measure up to whoever. thank you for this video it reinforced and validated what I had just realized!
Seeminingly difficult topics (E&AS) but great explanations. Well done!
Very informative! well said