Therapist Reacts: "I Tell Lies For No Reason"

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  • čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
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    ▼ Timestamps ▼
    ────────────
    00:00 - Reddit post: "I am constantly telling lies and I want to stop!"
    01:08 - Reddit post analysis
    01:40 - Clinical vs Non-clinical approach
    02:38 - Why do people lie?
    04:38 - The power of being honest
    06:17 - Non-clinical perspective
    08:02 - Clinical perspective
    09:26 - Mental illnesses that lead to lying
    11:52 - OCD spectrum illnesses
    13:36 - Egosyntonic vs. Egodystonic
    17:31 - Summary
    ───────────
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Komentáře • 211

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub Před 2 lety +361

    Lying has a lot in common with instant gratification addiction. It seems like a good option in the short run, but can cause immense harm in the long run

    • @Kvh47
      @Kvh47 Před 2 lety +2

      Have never experienced harm from lying.

    • @dudeimdudely7477
      @dudeimdudely7477 Před 2 lety

      I did this as well. What you said falls in line with my mental condition at that time (depression, borderline and PTSD). I realized I was lying as well and tried to lessen it. In the end getting good psychiatric help and lots of therapy was the fix. Aka the lying was a symptom/consequence of the real underlying problem

    • @johnpulawski35
      @johnpulawski35 Před 2 lety +1

      That's like everything tho lol
      Plenty of options are good short term and bad medium to long term

    • @TheDhammaHub
      @TheDhammaHub Před 2 lety +9

      @@Kvh47 Sometimes it is hard to see the consequences, as you have no "control group"

    • @Qdawwg
      @Qdawwg Před 2 lety +2

      There are also other situations tho for example someone with abusive parents who has now grown up and left home, probably doesn’t regret the lots of lies they told in order to avoid unnecessary pain and conflict

  • @megrocks3026
    @megrocks3026 Před 2 lety +275

    I lie because of shame. I used to do it a lot when I was younger but now I try to catch myself before doing it. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I tell the truth because I feel vulnerable, I feel like I'm subjecting myself to ridicule and shame. There are some parts of myself that I feel more ashamed of than others and even now I try to avoid the topic rather than lie about it or tell the truth about it. But some parts of myself that I used to be ashamed of and now no longer.

    • @leagueaddict8357
      @leagueaddict8357 Před 2 lety +3

      If you lie and I know I'll look at you as a failure because you are unable to speak the truth, the convo you don't want is the one you should have and be honest with it or else people will know and dissaprove of you as a human being, there is nothing worst than to be lied to.

    • @erichaugen4250
      @erichaugen4250 Před 2 lety

      Enneagram type 3 taught me this issue about myself.

    • @Lofilord
      @Lofilord Před 2 lety

      ohhh i feel that i do that still now here and there when its about my past and where i started in life.

    • @Tedula1134
      @Tedula1134 Před 2 lety +10

      I just want to say l recognized personal growth in your comment and I commend your progress and encourage you to continue. You are doing great and l hope you have a beautiful day.

    • @megrocks3026
      @megrocks3026 Před 2 lety +6

      @@Tedula1134 Thank you I really appreciate that :)
      Writing this comment and admitting my lying was difficult.

  • @robinsarchiz
    @robinsarchiz Před 2 lety +102

    “Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
    - Fyodor Dostoevsky.

  • @gaijinyade
    @gaijinyade Před 2 lety +449

    Plot-twist the asker lied about being a compulsive liar.

    • @veloxfelidae85
      @veloxfelidae85 Před 2 lety +53

      Double twist, you are actually the asker and you ARE a compulsive liar but you’re lying about lying about being one.

    • @gaijinyade
      @gaijinyade Před 2 lety +17

      @@veloxfelidae85
      The statement below this one is true.
      This statement is false.
      Welcome to the matrix.

    • @bike4aday
      @bike4aday Před 2 lety +25

      @@veloxfelidae85 Triple twist, Dr. K is the asker and lied about being a compulsive liar so he could make a video and lie about why people tell lies.

    • @gaijinyade
      @gaijinyade Před 2 lety +13

      @@bike4aday I am actually Dr k, and this is the only reason I made this video so that you would spend your time writing this comment, then coming to the realization that you are wasting time on the internet.
      Fair play for noticing.

    • @OoLiiMiiT3D
      @OoLiiMiiT3D Před 2 lety +7

      @@gaijinyade thats a lie

  • @robbebol10
    @robbebol10 Před 2 lety +28

    The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you've said.

  • @TheManTheMythD
    @TheManTheMythD Před 2 lety +106

    The beginning of this video is super validating to me. In my own journey, I realized a couple months ago that I lie constantly. Sometimes it's about the things I'm ashamed of like my weight or not being social "enough". I'll say, "I'm late because I had to stop for gas," instead of "I'm late because I stopped at Taco Bell on the way here." Or I'll say, "I can't hang out because I have to go to the bank," instead of, "I don't want to hang out," or, "I'm anxious about hanging out." Sometimes it's even just pretending I don't think or feel something when I do. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I lie to hide myself. I'm so afraid of judgement that I will say anything that doesn't reveal my true self. And it's about control. If I show my true self, then I have no control over whether people judge me, but if I lie to seem more boring or like I'm always doing what I'm supposed to, then no one can have any real judgements about me as a person. It felt really good to hear Dr. K share similar ideas to the ones I got to on my own. It makes me feel like I'm on the right track and that I have the ability to figure out my own problems and take control of my own life.

    • @skylark3922
      @skylark3922 Před 2 lety +4

      This sounds like I could have written is. Holy. Thanks for sharing!

    • @farrael004
      @farrael004 Před 2 lety

      S.A.M.E

    • @megrocks3026
      @megrocks3026 Před 2 lety +1

      I totally feel this. And our bodies are right in protecting us from that because the reaction that we're anticipating is actually the reaction we will get. The solution is to probably just tell the truth, expose ourselves to judgement and ridicule and not being able to resort to lies to hide ourselves. Then the only thing we can do is change.

    • @agkdjsdjkd
      @agkdjsdjkd Před 2 lety +8

      anyone here have avoidant personality disorder? i do this and its definitely linked to my avpd at the core...most of the time its literally not even anything big and sometimes ill even catch myself right beforehand and think, i can literally just tell the truth ??? its not even such a big deal where i *need* to lie to protect myself??? but you're right, id rather put a fake self out there so if people wanna negatively evaluate me, they cant hurt my real self...bc i cant handle that. to me thats like dying. i think putting on a fake self is kind of exihilirating tbh, not bc its like oh im lying and getting away with it, but its like...i can convince myself this is who i truly am and im able to NOT feel relentlessly ashamed for every move i make...which is exhilirating, to convince myself ive finally broken free from hell. its exhilirating to be able to see myself as a normal person, regardless of whether what im seeing is real or merely an illusion.

    • @Tedula1134
      @Tedula1134 Před 2 lety +5

      @@agkdjsdjkd I used to do this same thing A LOT where if l would meet someone and think I'd be unlikely to see them again l would lie about my name, my history, what l do for a living, my life experiences, etc because I don't expect to ever see them again and it gives me the opportunity to role-play a character in my own head to see how the person I'm speaking with judges the fabrication I've come up with at the time. Hopefully that made sense and I'm not alone in this behavior even though l can see a lot of negative traits to doing those kinds of things.

  • @whywhy8324
    @whywhy8324 Před 2 lety +69

    I was a compulsive liar when I was in high school. For me, it let me release emotions that I didn't feel I had a valid cause to feel.
    I was suicidally depressed and dealing with fairly crippling social anxiety but, on the whole, my life was pretty good. I didn't feel that I was allowed to feel the way that I did, so I created scenarios wherein something happened to me that would make it "socially acceptable" for me to express just how terribly fucking sad I was.

    • @finneganmcbride6224
      @finneganmcbride6224 Před 2 lety

      This happened to me as well

    • @hamsterm5998
      @hamsterm5998 Před 8 měsíci +1

      This is so me. I tried to pin my depression on how my first (and most loved) puppy died painfully but turns out its caused by combination of unhealthy coping mechanisms i developed from unaddressed issues

  • @adamstanisaw2892
    @adamstanisaw2892 Před 2 lety +13

    started tellin truth about year ago, now life is way better. It works. Also not avoiding resposibility for your action makes you stronger.

    • @DrCrazyEvil
      @DrCrazyEvil Před 2 lety +3

      Inspiring honestly, although it's hard from having to lie since you were a kid to go to that. The fear of being more lonely as people don't like it when "you're too honest". I'm glad you're doing better though man.

    • @adamstanisaw2892
      @adamstanisaw2892 Před 2 lety +1

      @@DrCrazyEvil thank you. I am suprised myself. Still got many things to skill up in. Like social relationships.

    • @DrCrazyEvil
      @DrCrazyEvil Před 2 lety +1

      @@adamstanisaw2892 how does one break the news of having depression and anxiety and failing classes even though one's 29 after taking up studying again >.< feels impossible for me.

  • @FireEatingNinja
    @FireEatingNinja Před 2 lety +17

    I feel like my philosophy is generally pretty good surrounding lies.
    If you're lying about something big or important, the lie will be found out eventually and you're just delaying the inevitable, as well as making the situation worse for yourself.
    If you're lying about small things that don't matter then by definition there's no point and you shouldn't do it because it doesn't matter. The best case scenario is you get called out on your BS, worst case you annoy people close to you and can lose friends over it.
    I think it's foolish to lower your self worth by telling lies to make people interested in what you have to say. Honor yourself and your allies by being truthful. You want people to trust your word.

  • @skiptomylou011
    @skiptomylou011 Před 2 lety +30

    This was a very importantly timed video for me. I just realized with the help of this video that my habitual lying is mostly to mask how ashamed I am of myself. I seem to exaggerate things I do in order to not feel judged when in reality I feel ashamed of my actions or lack thereof.
    The lie feels good for a second, but then the shame takes over, so it becomes this vicious cycle of not wanting to be seen as who I am with my flaws, failures and issues. Instead I present this clean cut, do-right and likeable personality that in my eyes is easier to digest to others. In essence I'm trying to control their judgement or avoid judgement by lying.
    I want to be more honest with myself as well, because at times I even catch how I lie to myself. Which is quite odd, but as I'm working through that, it never dawned on me how much I tend to lie for seemingly no reason. Thankfully I now understand why, and now the task is to be able to identify when I'm doing it.
    I want to become way more self accepting, but I feel that if I am to be that I have to do away with pointless ego-driven lies that I say on a constant basis.

  • @shivaniveeresh2796
    @shivaniveeresh2796 Před 2 lety +70

    I lie by omission in therapy where I will talk about daydreaming a lot and getting distracted but then she will ask "what are the things you daydream about" but since it's mostly s*xual and political stuff I don't what to talk about it. Not the same as this person, mine is due to shame and fear of judgement/rejection

    • @itsjustaline
      @itsjustaline Před 2 lety +9

      I have the same problem, even though the therapist promised to keep secret but still can’t lol

    • @warrensanders751
      @warrensanders751 Před 2 lety +14

      @@GE0attack I think they meant ".... but still, I* can't..."

    • @suides4810
      @suides4810 Před 2 lety

      Lol same

    • @MartinRomero
      @MartinRomero Před 2 lety +24

      Find another therapist. The one you have is not making you comfortable enough to result in effective therapy. If you do think the issue is on your end, then talk about it with your therapist as a meta thing, like "my fear of judgement is resulting in not being truthful, even during our sessions where I should be able to"
      It happens to me all the time, but I try hard to remember why I'm going to therapy: to feel better. I can't do that if I treat my therapist as an acquaintance or coworker.

    • @shivaniveeresh2796
      @shivaniveeresh2796 Před 2 lety +10

      @@MartinRomero thank you for your advice. However, I've just started therapy and it will take some time for me to trust her at that level. So I'll wait for some time, if I find that I'm not improving, then I'll try to switch.

  • @moneyboyok
    @moneyboyok Před 2 lety +13

    All my lying comes from shame and ego protection from what I've seen

  • @Tanaos37
    @Tanaos37 Před 2 lety +115

    I used to lie a lot (and sometimes still do) to my parents because they are the overprotective type and sometimes they wouldn't let me go to certain places as they'd find them dangerous (when in reality they weren't).
    Now that I'm getting older they have stopped doing this but they still complain sometimes.
    So I feel like in this case what I was trying to do through lying was retaining my freedom.

  • @vivvy_0
    @vivvy_0 Před 2 lety +7

    i dont have the guts to be honest when the people around me are going to oppose me for being me

  • @Violet-rv1fv
    @Violet-rv1fv Před 2 lety +7

    When I was younger (14) I met a guy that said he was 16 and we actually ended up "dating" online; he actually was lying about his whole life and was a 23 year old, but I wish I could send him this video. The lies were so deep rooted, like he'd say basic things about the weather where he lived for example, to reinforce that he lived where he said when really he didnt; he even would talk about his future with me while knowing it would never happen; things like that. I hope he changes but I'm never gonna talk to him again to know. He's probably 29 noww

  • @TheHadMatters
    @TheHadMatters Před 2 lety +21

    I'm sitting here thinking "Oh, I'm so blessed for already having figured out the benefits of honesty so long ago," while eating three chicken dürüms I got on the way home. Before I dipped into fast food again a little over a year ago, I had been almost constantly vegan for 3 years, and I still claim I am vegan everywhere. Gotta start holding myself more accountable in the parts of my life that are hidden to the rest of the world, and talk about them truthfully again.

    • @Knubbelbubbelbubbel
      @Knubbelbubbelbubbel Před 2 lety +3

      haha this cracks me up for some reason. No disrespect though, good luck on your journey!

  • @Qdawwg
    @Qdawwg Před 2 lety +30

    “It’s taking away their ability to make an informed decision” you could just apply this to politics and humanity as a whole. It’s just a massive power structure with those above trying to control the decisions of those below by withholding or manipulating information

    • @dontstealmydiamondsv3156
      @dontstealmydiamondsv3156 Před 2 lety +1

      The flow of information on the internet is counter to our biology in the first place. I'm not denying your statement, obviously there's shenanigans going on (though what exactly is being manipulated is less clear), but information can very easily mutate on its own in this space too. Often it's emergent and not anyone's fault in particular. I think the real root of the problem is in fundamental design flaws of social media itself.

    • @ckorp666
      @ckorp666 Před 2 lety +2

      @@dontstealmydiamondsv3156 this is way older than the internet tho

    • @dontstealmydiamondsv3156
      @dontstealmydiamondsv3156 Před 2 lety

      But today, the internet embodies the public; you have to go through it to affect public opinion. Info control is very different now than it ever was, and it's only still possible because of design flaws...at least in relatively democratic countries.

  • @gridrek3507
    @gridrek3507 Před 2 lety +11

    I can sometimes catch myself making up the lie in my head before i say the lie. Its scary sometimes how my mind likes make up lies on autopilot.

  • @noddlefoodle5691
    @noddlefoodle5691 Před 2 lety +2

    From an early age, I struggled with telling the truth because my mother would be abusive if I told her truths. Like if I was told to do something and then later on I didn't do it I lie and said I did because telling the truth meant I'd be verbally insulted or hit. So like maybe that's why some people for no reason

  • @MrSomarw
    @MrSomarw Před 2 lety +22

    Sometimes ill find myself agreeing and making up a story that agrees with them. sometimes its not completely fabricated, but someone eleses story. and after i tell. im like yo..that is not tru in my life

  • @EHyde-ir9gb
    @EHyde-ir9gb Před 2 lety +9

    I lie to my parents regarding my political and religious beliefs. This is partially because I still live with them, but also because I know our relationship would become very strained if I admitted it to them. I'm so afraid of them I don't know if I could tell them the truth even once I've become separated from them

    • @KrazyKanzo
      @KrazyKanzo Před 2 lety

      I used to do the same thing. I also lied about my job or financial status because they would shame and put me down if I wasn’t doing something like a lawyer or a doctor.
      As soon as I was on my own and independent of them I stopped.

  • @zodsi
    @zodsi Před 2 lety +33

    i lie constantly in conversation to seem like i have interesting things going on in my life when i actually have nothing to add most of the time. been doing that as long as i can remember. like a co-worker will ask what i did the last weekend and i will make something up, not anything special but just something so i dont have to say that i did nothing or i dont remember what i did. i wish i could learn to feel shame from lying and stop doing it on autopilot :(

    • @Bmvn88
      @Bmvn88 Před 2 lety +8

      The shame causes you to lie. I believe you should learn there is nothing to be ashamed of about you. You feel shame and should walk through it and tell the truth anyway.

    • @stefanopaolini6117
      @stefanopaolini6117 Před 2 lety +5

      Try speaking slower, allow yourself to think and get out of autopilot, evaluate the moment and be open. Sometimes you surprise others in a negative way, but it feels great to be honest.

    • @bzagaja
      @bzagaja Před 2 lety +4

      Try being a better listener instead of being an interesting talker. If your lies are truly making you seem cool or interesting your coworkers would ask more questions. Good talkers are a dime a dozen but make yourself a good listener and put the focus on the other person you will put yourself at ease and they will like you more for caring what they have to talk about.

    • @alexstone9099
      @alexstone9099 Před 2 lety +4

      I relate very strongly. I used to do this all the time, especially when I'd meet new people it was like a chance to say whatever you want, and I remember when I went to a new school in a new pretty fancy area (I was from a much poorer area) I'd twist the truth about past stories to try and seem interesting and i used the fact I was from a notoriously dodgy and poor neighbourhood to take some liberties and take stories I'd heard from people I'd known and make them my own or twist little things and combine events etc..
      What I've figured out more recently is my reasons for doing that stemmed from insecurity in my friendships that I've had, where I have been expendable and have been replaced by someone who comes along who's more interesting, often this was my brother who would get along with my friends better than I did, and I would end up being the butt of all the jokes and those experiences seem to be likely what gave me that shame and made me feel so boring and unable to connect with people, and like I needed to lie to get people to like me and be interested in knowing me.
      I also always felt a rift between my friends like I couldn't be fully close to them and I still often have this feeling, although it has weakened and I have experienced some genuine connection since proving that feeling wrong.
      Also what you said about lying about what you do on your weekends is super relatable, used to do that with one person who was very judgemental and would ask me every week what I did because he knew I had no life, and every week I hadn't done anything so I would often lie about seeing friends when in reality I'd stayed indoors for the whole weekend seeing no one but my family, and the one week I did actually see a friend I came in excited because I actually did something, and he didn't ask me. Was crushing.

  • @cory99998
    @cory99998 Před 2 lety +8

    As a creative once I opened up about my work and my struggles with it, it made it way easier to start making stuff again. My productivity skyrocketed further than it ever has at any point in my life. Pretty much every day im working on one thing or another finally. Never lied explicitly but I always would hide behind a mask which I think was effectively the same thing

  • @Tedula1134
    @Tedula1134 Před 2 lety +7

    Dr. K your thumbnails are outrageous. Mostly because you look like Mr. Beast while delivering the least click-baity content I've found on the internet. You're educating and helping people, gamers or otherwise. Keep doing you breh.

  • @Awesomebulba
    @Awesomebulba Před 2 lety +8

    Hits close to home, i also have been lying as long as i can remember, usually its really to gain anything and almost uncontrollable. I had talk to my mom about this before and she was maybe a bit too supportive about it so i didnt think i would have to do anythin about it. All changed 4 years ago when the constant lying started to get manipulative and mentally abusive towards my friends and close ones and after a month of painfully arguing with myself i had to come out cause i needed help. Most of my friends new that i had a habit of over exaggerating so it didnt come as that big of a surprise. With their support and help (for example pointin out if it seems im lying) the lying hase gone down like 90% to the point that after lying i might say somethin like wtf am i even talkin bout sorry guys. But yea i knew i needed help and i shouldve seek for it a lot sooner. So stay healthy and get help if you need it

  • @b23beatz
    @b23beatz Před 2 lety +7

    Im not a liar i just conveniently misspeak

  • @Nobody-pv9jt
    @Nobody-pv9jt Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you, I needed this

  • @themetamancer7402
    @themetamancer7402 Před 2 lety +4

    I love the new mic! Really puts the GAMER in healthy gamer gg

  • @wanderingrandomer
    @wanderingrandomer Před 2 lety +2

    I was always scared of lying. I always found it really stressful and was paranoid about getting caught out, so I just never did it, and am consequently now terrible at it

  • @TimeWizard727
    @TimeWizard727 Před 2 lety

    I have had such a lifelong problem with lying due to trauma and behavioral issues due to bipolar disorder and once I started medication and DBT, it helped so much. Breaking down those cognitive distortions and the reasons why I did it really helped. Its been just as Dr. K says, in the short term, my life was like the tarot card the Tower, it crumbled a little for a few months but in the long term, has been nothing but more beneficial and healthier. My therapist gave me almost all the same advice he gives here about a year ago. Its a work in progress every day, especially when you run into individuals that challenge you in making not falling back on old habits hard. I came here for a pep talk and got a great one. Thank you. :)

  • @frizzman1991
    @frizzman1991 Před 2 lety +2

    I needed this one.

  • @americanbookdragon
    @americanbookdragon Před 2 lety +6

    I was forced to lie by my parents about my neglect. So being in control was actually connected with my ability to tell other people the truth rather than lying. Now I am horrified whenever I catch myself saying things that aren't strictly true. Like, when I told my therapist I was drinking lemonade when really it was green tea lemonade! Oh no! Heh.

  • @saysolmao
    @saysolmao Před 2 lety

    great video, also im loving the pilot cosplay

  • @admiralmusclebeard7318
    @admiralmusclebeard7318 Před 2 lety +2

    Definitely why I've always loved the punk/hardcore communities, very accepting people brimming in the scene still luckily!

  • @linootte
    @linootte Před 2 lety

    Wow, when he talked about behavioral addiction & ocd, I immediately thought about my relation to drawing... If I don't draw at least once per day, i get very frustrated, even fidgety; and I feel an great relief when i finally sit down and start. I also have low self-esteem, because lmao who doesn't.
    I also have a hard time focusing, but drawing allows me to stay on a task for an extended period of time.

  • @Zdravynavyk
    @Zdravynavyk Před 2 lety +1

    I believe, that lying leads to not trusting your own words and people around you can feel that. Hence I try to be honest. Serious challange though as I lied most of my life a lot,

  • @andrewkelley9405
    @andrewkelley9405 Před 2 lety +3

    Well, I’m a control freak so I get it now. Probably the easiest video to digest I’ve seen in a while

  • @nuke291
    @nuke291 Před 2 lety +1

    I can be asocial the 50% of time, but as i'm honest with the people when i refuse them, they don't react negatively and can understand me. So, don't be afraid of being honest, is actually a cool buff.

  • @marcodxd3631
    @marcodxd3631 Před 2 lety +1

    I took upon myself to never lie it increased my confidence although sometimes its rather hard

  • @MomoBeci
    @MomoBeci Před 2 lety +1

    My parents are real bad liars that rubbed onto me when I was young but I quickly grew out of it. The most mundane things they’d lie about and I’ll ask them why lie about that? They just want to avoid the truth if it’s something upsetting or their self conscious about which is really bad I wish they’d face the consequences of telling the truth than lying to everyone even family members. Many of my family members only know me for the lies my parents would tell them because they think it protects me but it just makes my situation worse.

  • @mykaluvy
    @mykaluvy Před 2 lety +2

    My little brother lies a lot and I tried telling my parents to get him help but they won't. They think punishments (beatings) are gonna fix him but he's 14 now and has been doing it for years. They think therapy is stupid and don't think it could help him.

  • @4our31
    @4our31 Před 2 lety +1

    I lie for a lot of reasons just like anyone else, but recently I found myself lying to people who don't know me well for fun, you could tell them anything about you that isn't true and they don't know better its so fun

  • @spinnerboyz
    @spinnerboyz Před 2 lety

    The thumbnail designer did a great job protecting Dr.K from any possible meme in the future xD

  • @absp2006
    @absp2006 Před 2 lety +1

    NOW, how do I stop over sharing?

  • @invaderr2000
    @invaderr2000 Před 2 lety +1

    The more ridiculous the lie I told that they would believe, the more fun it was. I had no issue admitting that I was lying and only teasing…but sometimes it was fun to see someone run around with some wildly false information that I just created. Nonetheless I started toning it down because at one point I too started to lie about things that weren’t funny and/or had no real point or “benefit” to anyone or myself. I don’t really do much “joking around” or lying all that much these days, but I sure did tell some ridiculous things. You would wonder, “What idiot would actually believe that?”. Well if you don’t believe me just ask Mark, or Cindy they said the same thing…

  • @CocaCoca44
    @CocaCoca44 Před 2 lety

    Your section where you talk about the hypothesis of it being a manifestation of OCD.... You literally go on to describe my brain when it comes to lying... Feeling the need to do it for literally 0 reason. Then almost feeling forced to complete the task or deal with the resulting anxiety. Honestly, just watching this video has me so deep in thought on a problem that has caused me to have so many sleepless nights.

  • @lzd7481
    @lzd7481 Před 2 lety

    I recently have discovered this about myself actually. I sometimes lie for absolutely no reason. I don’t know why. Alot of times i have nothing to gain from it either.

  • @shakoforever9459
    @shakoforever9459 Před 2 lety +14

    Someone please get this man a proper microphone!

    • @yank31
      @yank31 Před 2 lety +1

      Yo it's healthyGAMERGG, yes? So we wear the gamer headset.

    • @trygve_
      @trygve_ Před 2 lety +4

      he's in EU for some esport stuff, this was probably the best he could do given the circumstances

  • @MorganMindfulness
    @MorganMindfulness Před 2 lety

    I keep telling lies for no reason. It turns out that was a lie.

  • @redharp4749
    @redharp4749 Před 2 lety +1

    Basic lies are human, when you are spinning stories and creating artificial worlds is a problem

  • @douglasoliveira1588
    @douglasoliveira1588 Před rokem

    Any meditation recommended for this context? In my case against this growing tension that is released by lying

  • @Xophian
    @Xophian Před 2 lety

    I wonder how many people would simply not say anything as a response to being unable to lie. Unless the meaning you are getting to is that you compulsively tell the truth.

  • @savstinks6847
    @savstinks6847 Před 2 lety

    i dont rlly lie out of my own will, its like ive lied to myself so much that i dont even need to willingly lie to others. telling others the information about my innerworld is getting harder day by day, for example: when i realize i have a flaw in my way of thinking, i forget about it the next second. this is weird bcs i used to be able to be truthful to myself about whats going on inside my head, but now i feel like my outside world and innerworld is getting blurred and i cant tell the difference, it could be the result of distracting myself too much from reality too much by playing video games, but thats a speculation.
    for a bit of context, im the type of person that prefers to act differently when im with others, i usually just choose to show a side of me that the ppl would want to see, which leads to me not showing certain parts of myself to others bcs i think theyre uninterested.
    writing this comment was definitely hard for me, i feel exhausted trying to catch my words back, but im trying my best to recover my inner world

  • @joshuaroa8503
    @joshuaroa8503 Před 2 lety +8

    I had this friend who lied aaall the time, great guy, but he would just lie and make up scenarios that never happened for whatever reason.

  • @curiousmind7967
    @curiousmind7967 Před 2 lety +3

    I tell the truth 98% of the time about everything. That gets me into big big trouble. So why shouldn't I lie?

    • @mohamedouhibi5389
      @mohamedouhibi5389 Před 2 lety +3

      some people consider the exchange of information between sentient beings is a sacred thing. this makes them feel lying is like a cime to them.

    • @finneganmcbride6224
      @finneganmcbride6224 Před 2 lety +3

      Why is the truth causing problems for you? I’m sure it is I’m just curious how

  • @YourEyes-wl8ke
    @YourEyes-wl8ke Před měsícem

    smoeone in the chat saying 0:33 how do we know the title is true
    💀💀💀💀💀💀 booomboclat fr

  • @dweniell1490
    @dweniell1490 Před 2 lety +2

    Ye

  • @kris8430
    @kris8430 Před 2 lety

    I need to send this to my dad…

  • @thegreatchrispy
    @thegreatchrispy Před 2 lety

    I can remember the first real lie I ever told. I was in kindergarten and found some money on the ground at school. Parents told me I should turn it in at the school office. So I lied and hid the money in our couch instead, but got caught a day later.
    I don't like lying.

    • @andreidanilov9925
      @andreidanilov9925 Před 2 lety +1

      I don’t think most people enjoy lying, just like most people don’t enjoy things they’re addicted to.

  • @dnfan1
    @dnfan1 Před 2 lety +1

    focus on actions not outcomes. That's a very important statement that he slide over quickly. I'm going to remember/use that mantra.

  • @BarbaraMerryGeng
    @BarbaraMerryGeng Před 2 lety

    Compulsive liars are commonplace

  • @mihooazuma9603
    @mihooazuma9603 Před 2 lety

    what about me, I'm fear of lying, even in situation that I need to lie but I just can't. wish I can do it, in certain situation it would make my life so much easier.

  • @misterogers9423
    @misterogers9423 Před 2 lety

    Is omission or not answering the question directly lying? Sometimes the truth can be hurtful or I am not in a position to give the questioner the answer that they want. This often comes up in business. Sometimes you are not allowed to tell the full truth due to corporate policy and an unfiltered truth can come off as alarmist or cause harm. Is honesty a blank check to tell other what you truly think regardless of the feelings of others and other potential consequences?

  • @Renvaar1989
    @Renvaar1989 Před 2 lety

    I had a friend who once called me from a windy hill and told me he is in a helicopter going on a mission with the army. Needless to say, he lied (still does) A LOT. But he was always a good guy, he just felt embarrassed about where he was in life compared to people around him, so made up stories to feel like he had value among his friend group.

  • @tokimisu
    @tokimisu Před 2 lety

    Ick, one of my exes had this issue and never admitted to his lies. It was the biggest turn off and the main reason I broke up with him. -_-

  • @rayoza2607
    @rayoza2607 Před 2 lety

    I’ve been called a ‘compulsive liar’ twice: once from an ex and the other from a co-worker.
    The ex really had no context or evidence to back it up as I had no clue at the time what ‘compulsive lying’ meant - she only said that ‘I don’t own up to myself.’ Hard to understand what she meant when she barely communicated, though 🤷🏻‍♂️
    The coworker, same way: called me out on compulsion when I intently made an exaggerated joke at work to creatively reflect the lengths a supervisor would go out his way to ask me to do things.
    Both people, I feel, paid attention more to when I did an act/‘lying’ on purpose for an intended situation, and then just labeled it as ‘compulsive’ I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️.

    • @TurningTesting
      @TurningTesting Před 2 lety +1

      Grounds: Once Is Chance, Twice is Coincidence, Third Time Is A Pattern
      Punchline: I'm not sure your post is full truth
      Exaggerated jokes aside, they might have used 'compulsive' due seeing some sort of patterns where what they perceive as truth is misaligned with what they hear being told.
      For example, I struggle to understand how you not knowing something would prevent your ex's context/evidence.
      Like if _i_don't know meaning of current internet slang that prevents _friends/family using it_ from witnessing my life?

  • @therearenoshortcuts9868

    song: love how you lie
    answer: "dude... it's because... i have a mental disorder... lol"

  • @hamsterm5998
    @hamsterm5998 Před 8 měsíci

    Why do most comments here felt like ive written it myself its getting scary accurate lmaoo

  • @bananabrain2996
    @bananabrain2996 Před 2 lety +2

    This is kinda far from the topic but what if you lie about your sexuality because of shame/fear of consequences? Does that come under anothet category because of other factors?

    • @bananabrain2996
      @bananabrain2996 Před 2 lety

      Oh lol just got to the part of the video where you talk about this, still would be interested to know more in depth!

  • @kappapride7138
    @kappapride7138 Před 2 lety +5

    just be honest :)

  • @gridrek3507
    @gridrek3507 Před 2 lety +1

    Sometimes i tell true stories of my life and im afraid that people will believe im not telling the truth because i stumble on words etc.
    Anyone get the same feeling?

    • @bzagaja
      @bzagaja Před 2 lety

      If you’re being genuine and people don’t believe you that’s on them. You probably stumble on words because of you’re overthinking it. If you have some true stories in your life that you use often try practicing them at home so you can easily tell the story without thinking.

  • @SilentVinyl
    @SilentVinyl Před 2 lety

    Interesting

  • @mohamedouhibi5389
    @mohamedouhibi5389 Před 2 lety +3

    im the guy in this story. i'm really happy an actual therapist looked at this. i can safely say that he made me fundamentally rethink my approach to interactions with other people. im almost completely lie-free now thanks to you. i hope you know how much you helped improve my life. and for that... i thank you.
    this joke of irony was brought to you by: random stoned guy on the internet

  • @henrik1743
    @henrik1743 Před 2 lety +2

    Man episode after episode is targetted @ Wingsofredemption lately I feel like lol, when can we have him on?

  • @julienst9197
    @julienst9197 Před 2 lety

    OCD can lead to lying, but can lying leads to OCD ?

  • @werti4894
    @werti4894 Před 2 lety +8

    I don't like this 'scam call' mic quality

  • @vinceramcesoliveros6739

    If you're being honest all the time, scums will take advantage to you.
    Lesson is, it's better to choose words and try to be honest to someone you trust and someone trying to help you.

  • @jamaicaandrada5526
    @jamaicaandrada5526 Před 2 lety

    Thank you for using homosexuality as an example. I legit know a gay man who constantly lies to strangers just to stop being asked about his personal life. Even the Starbucks crew in Canada kept asking about his day and what he did... Like.. isn't it a personal question? Specially when u are not yet accepted as a person by the society.. It will truly make u wanna protect yourself by telling lies to them

  • @chloe6947
    @chloe6947 Před 2 lety +1

    I lied to my gf about having panic during thunders just so she'll give me extra affection. Now it's starting to become true :3

  • @vikasbiliye5023
    @vikasbiliye5023 Před 2 lety

    What if the subscribers comment was a lie?

  • @HenryHe
    @HenryHe Před 2 lety

    @ trisha paytas

  • @arnoldasbucys7786
    @arnoldasbucys7786 Před 2 lety

    What is better? Hide truth and tell lie or tell lie until it's become truth?
    Even more interesting..
    To be lier or man spitting cold truth all the time

    • @DankoHidalgo
      @DankoHidalgo Před 2 lety +1

      Both options are exactly the same thing

    • @yank31
      @yank31 Před 2 lety

      When you say spit cold truth I suppose you refer to what you think about someone else, right? You wouldn't spit cold truth when asked about yourself...?
      If you see yourself spitting cold truth to basically everyone, maybe train kindness, openness, tolerance and things of that nature.
      If you see yourself spitting cold truth to just that person, then maybe move on, take your distance from that person.

    • @galaxychar
      @galaxychar Před 2 lety

      You don’t have to tell the “cold truth” and be overly blunt or harsh to be an honest person.

  • @MrShadowThief
    @MrShadowThief Před 2 lety

    People need to stop lying to themselves.
    When one lies to oneself, one lies to the entire world.

  • @jillybear3241
    @jillybear3241 Před 2 lety

    who gon tell my bf

  • @2kr0n3
    @2kr0n3 Před 2 lety +1

    Now this Dr K guy is lying again...

  • @nothingmuch29
    @nothingmuch29 Před 2 lety +1

    What if the truth is not real? Like I didn't lie about what I witness, but what I witness wasnt the full picture, I would feel anxious about why I lied but at the same time I tell myself I didn't know the truth.

    • @Bmvn88
      @Bmvn88 Před 2 lety

      Then you didn’t lie you told your truth. Which is only a part of the truth.

    • @yank31
      @yank31 Před 2 lety +6

      Lying is about the intention. Do you have the intention to say the truth, or not.
      The truthfullness of what you said is irrelevant here.
      If you ask me what time it is, and I think it's 4, and I answer "4", but it's actually 5 because my watch was broken, I didn't lie to you.
      If you witness something, and people ask you about it, and you tell them what you saw, you're not lying. It is implied that an eye witness can not see everything. You would be lying if you were changing what you saw.

    • @RosesAndIvy
      @RosesAndIvy Před 2 lety

      Lying is not the same as being mistaken. Lying is saying something that you know to be false. If what you think you know isn't actually true, then it's not lying because you're still saying what you think is true.

  • @toompie69
    @toompie69 Před 2 lety

    I wonder what he lies about. Some context would be nice.

    • @adie9314
      @adie9314 Před 2 lety +2

      From my own experience it’s probably just stupid stuff like “oh ya I’ve watched that show” or “I ate this for breakfast” or making up anecdotes and stuff to add to conversation, nothing that would hurt anyone but yourself

  • @mattman1684
    @mattman1684 Před 2 lety +5

    The great advantage of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember everything you ever said.
    -Jordan Peterson

    • @Sam-hh3ry
      @Sam-hh3ry Před 2 lety +2

      Lol Jordan Peterson is trash

  • @identity7845
    @identity7845 Před 2 lety +1

    Dr. K, any particular reason you use uptalk? i.e. at the end of your sentences your intonation goes up. Uptalk comes across as not being confident in yourself, but I know that is not true for you. You are a confident person, yet you speak in a way that makes it sound you question your every word.

    • @mymyscellany
      @mymyscellany Před 2 lety +1

      Hm maybe it's because making it sound like you're questioning everything you say can come off as a sign of intelligence. Intelligent people usually see ambiguities and edge cases in most everything. I don't know though.

    • @identity7845
      @identity7845 Před 2 lety

      @@mymyscellany I don't know about that. But uptalk makes you appear less threatening too, so that might be good in his profession. But when I listen to someone who does uptalk I'm thinking "should I be listening to this person who is unsure".

    • @mymyscellany
      @mymyscellany Před 2 lety +1

      @@identity7845 experts usually communicate differently than non experts, usually making a lot of qualifying statements. That can come off as uncertainty if you don't know get that confidence in an area does not necessarily mean expertise in an area. Experts will often be the first to admit they don't know something.

    • @bananabrain2996
      @bananabrain2996 Před 2 lety

      Could there be other factors? Environment that person grew up in, e.g if people around them spoke like this or if people were always questioning them and making them feel insecure so now it's a habit? Who someone is talking to? Other emotions?

    • @bananabrain2996
      @bananabrain2996 Před 2 lety

      @@identity7845 I find myself doing this a lot, it's not because I'm unsure in what I'm saying it's because of the kind of people I'm used to being around and I get nervous about it being recieved. I know that factually it is correct because it's just simple things.

  • @Seissmo
    @Seissmo Před 2 lety

    D:

  • @arizepam
    @arizepam Před 2 lety

    Just stop lying 4Head

  • @leeentertainmentchannel247

    All hwyte pipo need to watch this video. Lying and racism does not constitute as being a culture

  • @azmaIS
    @azmaIS Před 2 lety

    Dr. K, you don’t get to teach people how not to lie when you are a liar yourself

    • @TapDat52K
      @TapDat52K Před 2 lety +8

      doesn't everybody lie? The problem is in the degree of the lie, and the problems that lie creates.

    • @azmaIS
      @azmaIS Před 2 lety

      @@TapDat52K yes I 100% agree. Thats why I’m calling him out due to the degree of his recent lies and their consequences

    • @spongybear1926
      @spongybear1926 Před 2 lety +5

      wait what has he lied about?

    • @azmaIS
      @azmaIS Před 2 lety +3

      @@spongybear1926 he said in a recent video “96% of people in the ICU sick from covid are unvaccinated”. That is a very dangerous lie.
      And he keeps mentioning the recent rise in mental illness while ignoring the main causes; isolation, social distancing, mask wearing, constant fear mongering etc. Not technically a lie but he is leaving out crucial information

    • @OoLiiMiiT3D
      @OoLiiMiiT3D Před 2 lety +1

      @@azmaIS maybe he just believes everything he reads in the news 😂 but yeah, I doubt it