microaggressions are getting confusing
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- reminder that this vid is about clarifying what the definition of "microaggression" currently is AKA the thoughts i've expressed may or may not reflect my own personal opinions !
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: i'd love to hear what you all have to say *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 intro
0:35 buckwheat noodles tiktok
2:42 existing definition
4:36 testing example #1
5:24 example #2
6:01 example #3
8:15 clarifying terms
8:57 relevant structures
11:44 microaggression vs misunderstanding
13:40 structures vs individuals
14:49 final definition
15:25 questions for all
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SOURCES:
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
www.microaggressions.com/
psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2019...
www.npr.org/2020/06/08/872371...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/ba...
psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-0...
open.spotify.com/episode/4vfd...
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tags: racism anti-racism social commentary anti-asian hate black lives matter blm political correctness society political issues media opinion controversy video essay identity politics
To me, it is a microagression when it is rooted in discriminatory beliefs. For example : "oh, these noodles taste surprisingly good for Asian food." Rooted in the idea that Asian food is disgusting. For the example of that woman comparing food to worms, it seems like she is talking THESE noodles in their particularity instead of their belonging to an Asian culture.
Wouldn’t it depend on subjectivity vs objectivity though? Like, if someone personally doesn’t like Asian food in general, (maybe every experience they’ve ever had with it they thought it was gross) but they taste something they actually like, in essence what they are saying is, “I normally don’t have a taste for Asian food, but this tasted good to me”. Vs not liking Asian food not because you have any experience tasting it, but because you’re racist against Asian people.
i dont like the way that the word "microagression" is and will be used
@@jmgmetal i think it may depend on what they mean by “asian food” - generalizing such a huge series of cultures could be a bit iffy.
i’m not asian but i generally don’t like chinese & japanese food - indian food, on the other hand, i love. i would bet that some would say that generalizing asian food into one category is questionable
@@jmgmetal how can you not like the food for an entire continent? Going to the “i don’t like asian food” comes from a discriminatory idea. Because you won’t say i don’t like european food after eating four or ten (or more probably, two) dishes 🤷🏾♀️
“So it’s good for asian food” is rooted on a racist belief. However you want to explain it.
@@dymoonbp7310 ok, let’s use an example where the race element isn’t applicable. If I say “I don’t like heavy metal”..I’ve heard some songs or bands and it didn’t appeal to me,, but then I hear a band and enjoy it and say, “wow, for heavy metal that was really good” even though I usually like pop or classical. See, to me it’s just a preference thing..I’m not discriminating against “heavy metal people” cause I don’t prefer that genre ..and I don’t think it would be offensive to be surprised that I might like a song or band after a little further exploration. Sure, it’s limiting and generalizing to write off the whole genre,, but I don’t think it’s offensive to anyone.
The example of "your english is so good" is interesting because, as a non native english speaker, I've always taken it as a genuine compliment. It DID take a ton of effort to get this good at englishing, thank you for noticing. Though I guess the context is different, in every conversation I can remember, it was well established that english is not my first language. So the idea that microaggressions are a misunderstanding is reinforced by this experience: everyone understood my context before making the comment, so they knew that it was a genuine recognition of my effort.
When I was visiting the US, American woman once told me that my English is so good after I told her I was from London, UK. She's black and I'm white. I just thought she was really ignorant to not know that this is the country where English comes from, but at the same time she was being very warm, friendly and welcoming so I wasn't offended by it at all and didn't take the time to correct her. I just thanked her.
When I was in Melbourne, I was mistaken as Aussie because my English was good. So it shows that Asians in Melbourne specifically have been normalized.
So the phrase "Your [insert language here] is so good!" is a common phrase used around the world. I can understand how it might be annoying in a country that has a large mix of different races and therefore you cannot tell who is foreign and who is native born, but in countries that have a largely homogeneous population they will say that often to people who don't look like them. Sure, majority of the time the white or black person living in Japan is a foreigner but sometimes they aren't or they've been living there long enough that hearing "Your Japanese is so good!" becomes annoying. Yet the idea of a microaggression being something that needs to be corrected is still very much a Western (American/Canadian) idea.
@@obento4293 that is so funny. It reminds me of someone saying they were surprised our (my friends and I) English was so clear when they learned we were Canadian? I mean, sure some places have accents lmao but.... Ma'am do you think we are all French? It was just so odd to be praised for that but maybe they meant to say they were impressed with my American 💕👍
In these cases I think it's based in pure ignorance other than malice - most microaggressions are - but Canadians aren't really a marginalized group just as Brits aren't so I wouldn't consider it one (a microaggression).
@John Riggins it’s not stupid if it negatively affects a culture or group of people. White man mentality right there
To be honest, I don't think "Hi guys" is a microaggression. Basically because to this day, everyone uses it mostly in a neutral way to say "everyone". In spanish we say, for example "Buenas a todos" which can be the equivalent to "Hi guys" and "todos" is a masculine-inclusive word (includes all genders even though grammatically the word is masculine). So yeah, love your videos
We aren’t Spanish bro, also wouldn’t ellos be the equivalent. Since ellos can also be gender neutral. Kinda ridiculous to argue that hi guys is a micro aggressions when nobody could ever possibly imagine using it to discriminate against women. Like nobody does that, and if they it isn’t effective.
@@briansupermega5692 Ellos is also masculine, ellas would be feminine
In spanish it’s valid because “ellos” is neutral in spanish. Since masculine is neutral here… but in english that’s not how it works, you have other options.
I don’t think people do it to be mean or that everyone could see it offensive. But we can put a little more of work to amplify our vocabulary and find the other options.
In German we say "Hallo Leute" which means "hi folks", most words in German are gendered but this one luckily isn't, so we at least don't have that problem.
You have to take into account inclusive language
I would argue that a phrase like, "I don't date bisexuals because they're unfaithful" isnt a microaggression, but simply aggression, as it doesn't seem subtle at all, though a phrase like, "usually I dont date bisexuals because they're unfaithful, but you're different" is at least slightly closer, as it contains a compliment
deffo. it's not "micro" at all, it's flat out stated that they believe bisexual people are usually unfaithful
Agree
@@lemonqvartzit's soo strange, it's like...
my sexual orientation was considered incorrect, which is why I will do the same with people of a different sexual orientation
I mean big brain energy is here, no questions
ong, it’s just aggressive aggressive. i also hate that phrase, it’s disgusting
"You're faithful for a bisexual" is my new go to micro-agression. Love it
I think stressing out over people saying "hi guys" is a waste of mental energy. The meaning of words evolve over time, and I don't think we need to continue to view a word or phrase as offensive if its meaning has evolved to the point where no one has an offensive intention when saying it, and practically nobody gets offended when hearing it unless they've been told that they should.
Some words even started as insults to some groups and ended up being accepted for those groups as a way for referring to them. That's language evolution.
You're right, hi guys has been said so many times in so many contexts that it has lost its meaning. It's just a word like many others, it doesn't have to be interpreted literally
flipping out about 'hi guys' reminds me of disgusting cancel culture on line
flipping out about 'hi guys' reminds me of disgusting cancel culture on line
flipping out about 'hi guys' reminds me of disgusting cancel culture on line
as you mightve figured yes im binge watching your videos, theyre so well put haha
i personally dont think "hi guys" is a microaggression, like we say "bro" or "dude" to people and i think everyones has claimed that as a gender neutral term, but idrk.\
also that indian example was hella accurate, as an indian who has pretty great english, ive had people tell me i talk good english for an indian and didnt really realize it was a backhanded compliment until a few years ago.
thanks for all the love anshu
i agree with u i definitely see it as a gender nuteral many languages have it i feel if has nothing to do with gender eccpesially when ur referring too a group
as if we weren’t colonized by THE English for 200 years 💀
Saying "You look good for a----" is an insult, no matter what the last word is. I would think that would be obvious.
I have asked people, more or less, "Where are you really from." But only if they have accents. Their race doesn't really matter. Accents make me curious, and if they say "Sacramento," I want to know where they lived before that.
I actually had a falling out with a friend over the issue of whether or not it is ok to say "You guys" at meetings. So I'm glad that you have trouble with it, too.
As a boomer, I would love if young folks help me with the check-out machines. I generally don't even try to use them.
I have been sitting on the sidewalk with my walking sticks and had people just hand me small amounts of money. I could have been insulted because I am not a panhandler. But instead, I chose to accept them and the good intentions that came with them.
Anyway, I am glad that you made this video. In the lefty circles I hang out in, people have accused me of "Using micro-aggressions" without specifying what they even were. Which seems to me to be pretty darned aggressive, or at least, passive-aggressive.
I remember one woman saying "We have to get rid of the Jewish money lenders." When I called her on that, she told me that she was not referring to the Jewish race. I had to break down why it didn't matter, it was not OK for her to say that. And (despite her mental health issues she seemed to get it.) Sometimes you do have to help people.
I remember one female comedian making jokes about men in general which I did not mind because she was punching up. But when she said "I feel sympathy for men now. Especially unsuccessful men, because the whole world is set up for them but they still can't succeed" I was ofended. Why? Because now she was making fun of men of lower income. And THAT is punching down. (Also, it's not true.)
So in short, its complicated.
a Chinese saying : 还是吃得太饱了， “still have eaten too much”. when the belly is full, and people are too rich and confortable, even the slightest discomfort becomes an act of war, an aggression. you only hear about "micro agressions" in super wealthy countries. wonder why huh ? we should stop calling these people socialist. more like bourgeoisie, or aristocracy, the very thing they claim they are "fighting" against. gold-liberals, or liberal-nobility sounds much more accurate.
also speaking of micro aggression, doesn't the degenerate ghetto tiktok culture ruining the brain of young girls and young boys by the tens of thousands count as aggression ? exposing kids to s*x and addictive content while their brain are not even finished is what i call a true aggression.
over all thanks to my creation : mediaBlock, my kids will never hear about kim kardashian, will never be addicted to tiktok, and will not complain about "micro agressions" they will be to busy building a real life.
by the way @oliSUNvia , your video was excellent, keep up the good work.
This video was well recorded. I really love that you pointed out that microagressions don't have to be intentional for them to be harmful. I overall love how open-minded you were by letting people give their input
@John Riggins ok
I think "guys" is a product of language bleaching, so "guys" should be neutralized. I even refer to myself as a guy even though I'm a cis female. I think using y'all and folk's is unnatural and othering when not used by certain dialects. I think it's actually pretty rude to suggest people who use "guys" are less consciences. It's kind of elitist to police language and ignores that not everybody exists in the world through an academic lens... Great video btw!
It’s academic to say y’all? Ok
@@Anna-xh6fk I said... "Through an academic lens"... Obviously informal speech is not "academic" language.
@@Anna-xh6fk that's not what they meant for God's sake
I use y'all and im from the midwest. I also use guys. in different contexts. why is y'all othering?
@@loadedpainted7040 I think that makes sense, I'm also from the Midwest and have family in the south but was raised in the pnw where "y'all" and "folks" was never used. I just found it uncomfortable when people started to switch dialects when addressing a group, mostly because I thought it was a bit mocking before I realized they were just avoiding saying "guys" lol. It's not a big deal, it just rubbed me the wrong way.
I think part of why micro aggressions are hard to understand is because many of them seem to be from past experiences in some way. Saying the noodles looked liked worms is a good example. You have brownish noodles, noodles are worm shaped, so yeah it makes sense you would make the worm connection. But to someone who’s never been made fun of if their food it’s just a funny observation not something more malicious. Saying “hey dudes” to a group of people probably isn’t gonna bother most people unless someone was intentionally miss gendered. We can’t read minds, we don’t know the details of everyone’s life’s, we don’t know what will be hurtful to each individual.
Agreed! I feel like it all comes down to context. Like you're never going to be able to *not* hurt someone's feelings but as long as the people in that conversation space address issues that come up and understanding is created then people can move on peacefully. Though i know that really only applies to personal situations. When it comes to online personalities and followings,, oft - that's a whole other story,,,
I feel like some of this is straight up just a trauma response from POC from their past experiences with racism
Yep - and personally I think it's important to acknowledge these people's experience instead of bending over backwards to make White people comfortable.
personally, "hi guys" is something i always say as an informal greeting to all genders. "hi all" and "hi everyone" and "hi folks" are just too formal for me. i don't believe it is a microaggression because I am a woman and because the word is used by people and specifically by me as a gender-neutral term.
also ur vids r amazing
oh, and I don't think comparing buckwheat noodles to little worms is a microagression either. I think its moreso a discriptor that this person would have used regardless of what culture they were from. For example, I'm half Irish and I had Irish Beef Stew all the time growing up. To be honest, it looks a little like throw up, and when describing it to a friend who is not familiar with the dish, I may use this descriptor as a way to say "i know it looks like throw up, but its actually really delicious." I think other Irish people would feel the same. So if someone who was not Irish described it as such, I wouldn't see that as a bias- more as a description based on the visual presentation of a dish. Does "throw up" have a negative connotation? yes. is it an accurate descriptor? also yes. is it a microaggression in either case? I would say no, as the underlying factors behind it are not based in bias, but rather unbiased visual perception.
@@cristinamercado6642 thanks for sharing a similar example from another culture!
@@oliSUNvia omgggg thank you for replying i love ur videos so much and ofc!!
@@cristinamercado6642 I disagree, the worm comparison struck to my ear.
Here's my reasoning.
In Finland, we eat porridge. Our traditional foods tend to be porridges and soups. Some are very unappetizing-looking to the untrained eye, like kids and foreigners. A known example of this would be mämmi. Mämmi is a sweet rye porrigde eaten on easter; it's a fancy dessert. But it looks dark brown and glittering, kind of like wet cow dung.
Now, if I say it looks like poop, it's irony because it's said lovingly, I love mämmi and my people. If a foreigner visiting me says it, I take it as a joke at their foreign-ness towards this weird new dish, and honestly, Finns take any attention towards their coulture positively. We just love to be seen.
However, if this was in America during the period when Finnish immigrants were arriving there, and facing a lot of prejudice towards their coulture and ethnicity, unfortunately, this would have been an insult. It's different to be implied you're a poop-eater if you're othered or ostracised.
So context matters.
We can eat mämmi in the school lunch room and make snarky comments about its looks. But if it was just one student with the poop-food, that wouldn't be funny.
I can't really say how the lady on the video meant her comment. Maybe she really loves the coulture and food and was being loving about it, but it didn't shine through her words. It just struck me and I didn't hear anything she was saying after that.
I think it's generally tacktless to call food something disgusting if it comes from a coulture that's not your own.
Im a little late to the convo, but I wanted to add my insight. In a way, saying that “hi guys” is a microaggression can be considered valid, but I think it’s way too extreme. As a Spanish speaker, I fully understand how words can have gender. In English, the only gendered words are rlly just pronouns, and even then there are limitations. In Spanish, when you are referring to a group of males you would use the word “ellos” and to females you would say “ellas”, however when you refer to a group that doesn’t pertain to either gender you would just say “ellos” as it’s considered masculine, but also gender neutral. I know the same thing goes for French and probably other gendered languages. When comparing this structure to English and the words “guys” and “gals,” “guys” seems to be just a gender neutral term, and nothing more. However, it can be recognized that most likely it was originally structured that way because of the male default. But I still wouldn’t consider that as a microagression because it’s a language, and theres no microagression in speaking a structured language with grammatical rules that a billion people speak. Although, what is debatable is if using “hi guys” when only referring to females is a microagression because there’s no need for gender neutrality there.
Btw I just found ur channel and Im obsessed with listening to ur insight 🤰
Yes! I also feel that English speakers are kinda cursed with the 2nd person plural.
"You guys" it's so natural but it's a microaggression
"Y'all" by non-southerners may be taken as appropriation
"Ye" is archaic
And "Youse", "You'uns" and "Yins" are just too uncommon...
Thankfully we don't have to worry about this is Spanish haha
Guys, man, and men can be gender neutral in American English, but feminist like to cry over everything.
"you guys" isn't micro aggression even if you are speaking to all girls. Lol. This is going to be the new word everyone wants to overuse now, I guess.
its the same in french! like if you were talking about a group of both guys and girls you say ils but if its only girls it elles
German is a heavily gendered language as well, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a problem. There are various efforts going on to not just refine the art of using German in a gender neutral way, but there are approaches being developed to actually extend the language with new modes and pronouns, which may or may not gain wider use over the coming decades.
hang on, i actually didn't know that some people think "hi guys" is a microaggression. call me rude but i think it's too far of a stretch. i'm in an all-girls school (for 5 years) and it's REALLY common to say "hi guys" when greeting other friends. we say "guys" as a substitute for "everyone" or "all" bc yknow... it just feels more natural that way.
I think it's mostly just a handful of incredibly bored people on Twitter periodically freaking out 😅😂
I think that would rather be considered internalised misogynism by those people and not a microagression
@@dominikweber4305 that’s so unnecessary
We should really move on
It's not rude to feel like it's a stretch. It'd only be rude if, based on that feeling, you were rude or dismissive towards someone. It's just about being able to hold "that's surprising, seems like a stretch" and "people have fair reason to feel offended by it/I respect their perspective and boundaries" at the same time
I'm a girl who grew up in California, so "bro", "dude", "Guys" etc feels almost more natural to me.
Like if someone went out of their way to not call me bro in casual conversation because it'd be considered sexist or microaggressive towards me I'd be confused and would probs ask them to just call me bro or dude or whatever.
Like, I think inclusivity and all that is important but there comes a point where it becomes cumbersome and unnecessary. Like It's literally just slang.
As someone with autism, I've always been terrified of accidentally committing microagressions.
I'm just putting it out there in case anyone else feels the same.
Gosh i imagine that to be pretty stressful for you
Yeah, as someone who is autistic, I definitely feel the same way.
I'm late here too and was in the exact same boat as you a few years ago. My only difference was I was hanging around *super* sensitive people that took *everything* as a "microagression" (yes, those ones). They got very volatile over the littlest of things and it made everyone wary around them, but after some time by, I realized how ridiculous they were. Don't worry about what you say unless you *know* it's something bad with the intentions to hurt someone. If you say something harmless and some snowflake has a meltdown over it, that's their problem. You did nothing wrong and it's not your responsibility to tiptoe around everyone's emotions.
Not specifically in terms of micro aggressions, but I feel you when it comes to being terrified of offending people. For me it just happens to be more broad than "microaggressions" cos, you know, not all people are offended by microaggressions, but most people will be offended by something
I hate that people are taking language literally and getting offended by it
Autistic people already struggle with this as is, like give us all a break...
As a gay man I used to say those micro aggressions towards straight men, but in the last few years most of my new friends have been straight so I've stopped doing it. No, the consequences and power dynamic are generally not comparable but it still makes me feel deeply uncomfortable to make general comments about any group. Especially when by now it's not really socially acceptable anymore to make micro aggressions about gay men, I'd be deeply hypocritical to do the same towards straight men, especially when most I've met in my life have been perfectly nice towards me.
Same here I think generalizations like that are ignorant and hurtful as a straight guy it's definitely not true. Also I think the one about bisexuals is more of just an aggression considering it's not subtle at all
@@MichaelTurner856 yea fr. I was looking through the comments trying to see if anyone picked up on that. Just because you are part of a majority shouldn't mean you aren't allowed to be offended. Someone else in the comments said that such generalizations like "straight men just want sex" is simply an aggression, because it is not subtle. It is perpetuating a negative stereotype about a group. Such is not okay no matter the circumstance. Generalizations in general are really dumb, yet they unfortunately exist everywhere.
"the victim's lack of individual hurt doesn't change the structural ideas they are feeding into" was so well put. amazing example.
The funny thing is - considering the word "worm" an offensive name for a meal, you promote micro-aggresion towards people who eat worms customarily, like Zimbabwe ppl :D
I’d imagine Zimbabweans would be pretty grossed out by American foods. Different regions means different normalities. You can’t expect people to know everything..
@@msjkelmolol123 Precisely why people should go back to using intent as a basis of how to react to a situation
No, totalnie, dlatego ludzie muszą troszkę wychillować~
That’s a great point! The people who were upset were essentially angry because the girl compared buckwheat to…another type of food (in some countries)
This is why trying to categorise language into what is acceptable and what is not is just too convoluted and futile. The only reason people take any interest in such nuances of language is to feel a sense of superiority and righteousness over other people. Which is a shame because linguistics is incredibly interesting without using it as a tool to shame others for doing nothing wrong.
I think the biggest problem is that people love to assume everyone is out to get them. As a non-binary person I've never felt invalidated by phrases like "you guys". You'll find so many microaggressions if you always assume negative intent.
That's what i think too
That’s the point of a micro aggression. It is subjective to the one who feels victimized. Based on that nearly everything can be considered a micro aggression even when there is absolutely no intent to hurt or insult.
I don't know if I agree that the elderly isn't an oppressed group. We treat them pretty awful, at least the system does. They're stuck in homes that treat them horribly, they're not listened to when they talk about it, and we belittle their judgement. No one wants to "look old" even though there's nothing wrong with it. Does this make them oppressed? I kind of think so, though not everyone would agree. We treat elderly people really bad, though I am looking at this though an American lense, so maybe its different other places. I've watched a lot of specials about elderly homes and they're awful. It kind of reminds me how we treat mentally ill people (as a mentally ill person here). There's been John Oliver and Patriot Act episodes about it, I think.
just putting this out there as a dyslectic you saying i misread 2pm as 4pm because i am dyslexic or something is a microaggression, not that i give a fuck just clarifying that it is literally impossible to avoid them
Your videos are really well-scripted and relaxing to watch. I love your editing and your pleasing voice, keep up the good work! 🥰
it seems to me that the problem with microaggressions is the inclusion of "aggression" most of them are just people accidently saying something annoying, there is no aggression, just a simple blunder.
couldn't you say that makes them 'micro'?
@@leochalland9546no
Wait a moment. I don't know if this is cultural, but in my context whenever we are refering to oppressed minorities, we also mention elderly people. Maybe it is just my country, but the elderly suffer extreme estructural violence. They're often abandoned, they receive little help from the government even though they cannot work to subsist for themselves in many cases. Society also thinks of them as "less than".
In general, I think capitalism values people for what they can or can't produce, therefore the elderly are usually considered a burden.
where are you from? Argentina?
Yes I was just going to comment this! Of course culturally we are supposed to "respect our elders", but culturally husbands aren't supposed to hit their wives... It's not really accurate to equate (very much systemic) violence towards elderly people with something like "not dating straight guys", something completely devoid of systemic implications
@@coscorrodrift I'm from Paraguay actually
@John Riggins love me some eugenics on a Friday night
@John Riggins you’re right I guess I’ll just have to throw them off a cliff once they need live-in assistance (also good job not knowing what eugenics means I am crying lmao)
I found your channel yesterday, and watched all of your videos , The way you explain things is so well& your videos are really entertaining , I'll be supporting your channel! :)
means the world to me thank you!!
I like that the you brought up that the root of a micro aggression stems from underlying structures and NOT THE PERSON. It’s so obvious when you state it I wish there was like an animated video to help kids understand or something.
I too am on the quest to understand this topic. I’ve been told “you’re so such and such” for a and I felt awkward. I also do it to others though before I realize it. It all boils down to “you’re different”. My self esteem is too low to face that, especially in social situations.
The thing is saying someone is "different" has either a very positive or very negative meaning, not much in the middle, and you're left to guess which one they meant
A common mistake I've seen in today's world is that we're creating so many terms and things of the sort without asking what the term means in the first place. We have to assign the rules to the playground before actually starting to play. It's like the definition of racism, some people argue it's individual, some argue it's institutional, some argue it's a combination of both. If we want to have a clear conversation, we have to adress what kind of racism we're talking about, and THEN discuss about it.
ur videos are so mentally stimulating and really challenge my pre-existing thought patterns, so glad the algorithm brought me here, ur gonna make it big!
You're so descriptive and well-spoken, I enjoyed watching your video sm
in my experience, the people most hurt by 'hi guys' as a microaggression are transwomen who get dysphoric when being referred to as a part of a group of 'guys' even in a colloquial sense, or if it makes them dysphoric because they are being misgendered. To me it doesn't seem unreasonable to try and avoid the term especially when I'm around other trans friends.
if someone is offeneded by 'hi guys' i beg u to please go outside
you are so underrated ❤️
💖💖
I once saw a guy in a wheelchair struggling to open a door. I took a step forward to help but then I froze and started to panic, "Well maybe he doesn't want my help. Maybe he wants to get the door himself and if I help it'll embarrass him.... Um should I ask if he needs help? Well maybe he'll yell at me for even thinking he needs help. I know, I'll just hang around and if he needs help he'll eventually call out to me."
Well he eventually yelled at me for just standing there and said I was being an asshole for watching him struggle 🙃.
So now I just help people because that's what I would want people to do for me and if they yell at me for helping then oh well. At least I did what I thought was right and I didn't have a small, internal crisis.
you are very open minded and have a balanced perspective on the world. Keep up doing these types of videos. It is hard to come across people who are able to look at both sides with sympathy and try to carefully think through these things. Il subscribe!
I’m probably a bit late for the conversation, but I never thought about “Where are you from originally?” as a micro aggression. I don’t think I ever will either. My reasoning is that since I am from Canada and that there is always an diverse group of people whether you’re in school, or at work. I’m currently in my first year of university and I met up in person with an online friend who I’ve been talking to, since we’re in the same program. And one of our first “big” conversations was about our ethnicities and our culture. It was a really fun conversation and we both got to learn about each others culture and our country’s history. In fact, I’ve had this sort of conversation with most of my friends, who are from amazing countries like Morocco, Egypt, Bangladesh, Vietnam, China, Syria, India, China, Turkey, Cameroon, and many more! Personally, I think it’s a good thing for people to ask where people are from, that way we can get to know each other better, especially in diverse countries like Canada, or USA.
Let me know what you guys think!
I love that the question "Where are you from?" can spark really meaningful conversations as you mentioned. I think where the question can dip into microagression territory is in terms of context! You mentioned that you've held these conversations with friends, with whom I assume that you will have repeated interactions with and have the opportunity and investment to learn more about them.
More often than not, when I'm asked this question, it may also come with genuine interest. Strangely enough, I've been asked this on many separate occasions as I was checking out items at grocery stores. In that context, the people asking are complete strangers and have made a judgement based off my appearance. There is no time to learn much or expand understanding in a check-out line or in a rushed, one-off interaction. To add a little more to the microaggression, I often reply with my hometown (located somewhere in the USA). Instead of accepting this as an answer, people will probe further and ask where my family is from (my parents are from Shanghai and Zhengzhou in China).
I don't usually leave the brief conversation feeling particularly hurt, but it does feel odd that people would rather focus on where I look like I come from rather than where I am actually from.
The problem isn’t just asking where people are from. It’s the intention behind it. If you genuinely want to know where someone is from that’s fine. However, the micro aggression is when people ASSUME things about you based on your race, and they don’t accept your answer. For example, I’m Asian, and when people ask me this question I say I’m from Indiana. I’ve had people then say “but where are you REALLY from.” They assume I’m not actually from Indiana because of my race. If you want to know someone’s ethnicity just ask them “what’s your ethnicity?” Don’t ask “where are you from” because sometimes people’s geographical answer isn’t the same as their ethnicity. Some people assume this to be true when it’s not always true. Some people assume that non-white people MUST be foreigners.
@@Kizamo By reading your comment, I am under the impression that your biggest issue is how people are using language. You find it very frustrating that someone would ask "Where are you from" instead of "What is your ethnicity" which you have already concluded that people use as basically meaning the same thing when approaching you and directing this question to you.
I simply cannot understand why do you US people have such an issue with this? It's like this... I'm as caucasian as can be eastern european male, and when I go and visit the UK or Ireland or Italy or Germany or wherever and start meeting various people be they locals or foreigners same as me... The question where am I from comes up constantly. It comes up due to my accent.
Now... I do suppose that an accent is more indicative of which country someone is from (or at least one would think so) as opposed to skin color or facial features.... But at the end of the day, I'd say that in most cases that the experience is pretty much the same (Considering most people ain't racist and I highly doubt you're being approached by KKK members or something while you're shopping and being asked where you're from...)
Instead of seeing it as someone being curious and/or friendly, perhaps using the question as an ice-breaker to approach you... And then using this as an opportunity to socialize or whatever... No, people want to scream "microaggression" and take that route of policing language and "educating" others instead.
I mean... What is the big issue here really? Is it so bad for someone to be curious about someone's ethnicity based on facial features, skin colour or like in my case... accent?
@@alicejiang2188 I'm as caucasian as can be eastern european male, and when I go and visit the UK or Ireland or Italy or Germany or wherever and start meeting various people be they locals or foreigners same as me... The question where am I from comes up constantly. It comes up due to my accent.
Now... I do suppose that an accent is more indicative of which country someone is from (or at least one would think so) as opposed to skin color or facial features.... But at the end of the day, I'd say that in most cases that the experience is pretty much the same (Considering most people ain't racist and I highly doubt you're being approached by KKK members or something while you're shopping and being asked where you're from...)
Instead of seeing it as someone being curious and/or friendly, perhaps using the question as an ice-breaker to approach you... Or just simply, literally trying to be able to recognize ethnicity based on appearance! (Shock! Horror! Evil!) And then using this as an opportunity to socialize or whatever... No, people want to scream "microaggression" and take that route of policing language and "educating" others instead.
I mean... What is the big issue here really? Is it so bad for someone to be curious about someone's ethnicity based on facial features, skin colour or like in my case... accent?
What's wrong with simply giving a one liner answer and saying "My ethnicity is Chinese" or in my case, the way I answer it - "I'm Crotian" or "I'm from Croatia"
That be the end of the story in 95% of cases where they reply to me "hmm nice" or whatever. This microagression thinking is crazy to me, if I were to think like this I would feel unwelcome in every corner of the world that I've visited so far.
@@ivankatalinic2881 I really appreciate your comment and sharing your experiences with interacting with people of different cultures!
While there is some overlap with our experiences, what is happening is different. In your case, you are actually a foreigner touring a place you are not from. In my experience, I am not. My ethnicity may be Chinese, but I was born and raised in America. I also consider myself a "normal American".
Asking a harmless question such as "where are you from" places assumptions of both my nationality and ethnicity solely based on my ethnic features. Why this is a microagression is because of this assumption.
Most of the time, a person asking this type of question in a casual manner won't ask any Caucasian-passing individual the same question. If I'm in a grocery store line, I may be the only person in the checkout line that is asked this question. This is often the case and it is easy for people to feel singled out abruptly because of their ethic features. It can be surprising when you are simply minding your own business, shopping in the same store you've shopped at your entire life.
The question can come from a place of curiosity, but it is also alienating. It can feel like I don't belong in the place I was born and raised in when I have to answer this question from many people in many different situations while I'm doing things unrelated to questioning my place.
That's why microaggressions are a gray zone. Many times, the harm they cause is fairly small in a singular experience, but the harm grows over time with repetition. The cumulation of these experiences affects people differently, some more than others, so it's good practice to just be aware!
For me, generally it can range from a little discomforting to slightly annoying to ambivalence. I don't mind discussing my nationality or ethnicity, but conversations or interactions that begin this way can leave an awkward feeling in my gut. I'm also not constantly analyzing every interaction with every single person, that would be exhausting!
Hopefully by sharing my experience helped clarify microagressive interactions a bit more to you!
I love hearing you talk everything is so new to me but you make it easy to understand
I love the way you walk through the natural thought process of the topic, it makes it so easy so follow along. You'd make a great teacher!
Thank you for mentioning "your English is so good." I always feel so hurt whenever I heard this phrase (with implied obligation to say "thank you" as well). Because yes, I come from a different country, but I've been learning English for most of my life and even taught it. This phrase feels like it diminishes all effort that went into my journey.
If I may, I would very much like to apply a layer of cultural contextualization to this:
**clears throat**
If you hadn't mentioned that you were not from a non-majority English-speaking country, I very well might've thought it was your first language, speaking strictly from how well I see you've mastered the phrasings and vocabulary of my compatriots (who, much to my embarrassment, often fail to grasp or fully utilize the nuance present in our sprawling mess of a language.)
It's not intended to patronize or belittle your efforts to reach fluency and mastery; I expect it's more likely that monolinguals (such as myself) may feel *we* don't use English very well in comparison, and we're... less likely to mention that. 🙃
- TL;DR -
We're insecure about the way we talk. You're doin' awesome.
You see this can be a compliment, If a japanese tells me "your japanese is good". I wont get offended, thatd actually make my day. Same with any of the secondary languages I am speaking. If someone tells me my english is good, id be happy and flex on my good british and australian impersonation. Not everything is a personal attack. Not everything is said in bad faith.
@@henrylo6773 I think the difference between OP’s statement and your Japanese example was that OP has spoken English for most of their lives, and is an American (from what I infer), while you’re (once again, only inferring) not Japanese. For OP, it would be assuming they aren’t American, and shouldn’t be fluent in English, just because they are of another ethnicity, which would be an incorrect and harmful assumption, because migration is so common for America. However, because you are not Japanese, (as in, haven’t been living in Japan for the majority of your life) and migration to Japan isn’t nearly as common, it wouldn’t be as harmful to assume your Japanese isn’t the best. Plus, other ethnicities have been majorly oppressed and looked down upon in America, so for OP, assuming they aren’t good at English has very negative connotations behind it, whilst with you, Americans are mostly looked up upon in Japan, and have never been oppressed by Japan. Sorry for writing such a long message, I tend to do that quite a bit to get my point across. Have a nice day/night, and thank you for your time. :)
Yes, there was a lady that said “your English is so good” to me and even though it seems like a compliment, I tried to explain to her that I’ve spoke English for almost all my life and it’s just like saying that to an English speaking white person that their English is good. Yes, I’m Asian but that doesn’t mean my English automatically has to have an accent. That just rubs me the wrong way.
@@sukura__blooms8189 exactly, thank you.
"Where are you from?" : micro aggression focusing on my cultural heritage beyond the current location.
"Don't care where you're from.." : micro aggression for not valuing my cultural heritage beyond the current location.
Micro aggressions are bs and a game that everyone can play but no-one can win.
Most succinct explanation yet!
right like, what if i know they're born and raised in America but i still want to know their ethnicity? is there a single way i can ask it without seeming like an asshole or what?
@@jake6608 My take on this is that you don't ask someone about their ethnicity immediately, because that may seem impolite, but you do it after you get to know their person first, so it's clear to the other person: person > ethnicity.
So it can be the second time you meet, or even the first time if you already asked a whole bunch of questions about their person 😅. Then you can ask them something like 'So I know you are born here, but what is your background, where is your family from?'. You don't even have to ask a technically correct question, because they know what you mean: 'Where are your parents from?' 'Oh my parents are also born here, but actually my grand-parents are...'
If your heart is in the right place, people will accept many small mistakes you make, they won't think you're an asshole. That's how I have been getting off the hook for social blunders for years.. 😅😆
@@jake6608 Maybe if you approach on your knees, while at same time crying, wawing a white flag and with bouquet of roses as well
Maybe
@@jake6608 If you want to know about their heritage/ethnicity or whatever, ask about that! "Where are you from" is thought of as being bad because it presumes people with different appearances have to be from a different country. On the other hand, different ethnicities/ancestry DO cause a different appearance so it's not harmful if asked about genuinely (imo)
An example in the disability community: "if they can do it, I can do it" Or "Wow they are stronger than me and they only have 1 leg." I heard this A LOT. It is try to compliment (I guess). But in reality, it puts disabled at the bottom and ignores their individual traits that may have enabled them to achieve what they have. The able-bodied person saying this has automatically elevated themselves above the disabled person, just for their lack of disability.
@John Riggins hey John,
Thanks for trying to engage in a thoughtful discussion with me! I disagree. Having 1 does not put me in the bottom. Not even close. There are many things my leg does not even impact. For example, I can bench press more than the average person.
I encourage you to look into disability. You will find likely, that a lot of us are indeed smarter than you even. Steven Hawking for example.
If you do a tiny bit of research, I would be happy to continue this discussion.
@John Riggins hey again,
If you re-read my initial post you would see we agree on more than you think. I do not think I am better at every physical thing as you have suggested. I think it better to access people individually rather than assume things based in disability.
The video was about microagressions. To say, I have experienced microagressions and here is an example is not the same as saying I am offended and upset by these comments. I was simply examining some comments I have heard. Also, many people with 1 leg run marathons.
If someone calmly engages in a civil discussion and you say 'you have to go to therapy', you are being unnecessarily personal which suggests your argument is poor.
@John Riggins thanks for engaging in a discussion with me! Interesting points.
For some reason I find your videos really soothing, thanks
I think her saying buckwheat noodles look like worms was just because... they're noodles? 😭 All noodles look like worms ngl
Also as someone afab, I don't think "hi guys" is a big deal 💀
I have to say one of the most popular micro aggressions to black women is "wow! You're pretty for a black girl" amongst all the other ones like calling us feisty or aggressive when we speak on things we're passionate about, or literally everyone policing us when we show any ounce of emotion. That's how I understand micro aggressions as a black person. One I think every minority has faced is being complimented for how "well" you speak.
I feel like microaggressions have to be rooted in stereotypes and towards minority/historically oppressed groups. I feel like this video makes it into a confusing concept when in reality most microaggressions are really obvious/common sense. people know saying “you’re pretty for X” is offensive because no one would want that said back to them. Even if people don’t process that it’s a “microaggression”, at the least they’d realize they’ve been rude upon reflection. I find it hard to believe that people really wouldn’t realize it’s fucked up to be telling us we’re pretty for black women or asking to pet our hair like animals…
@@laer.393 yes for real. but the reason she went a little more indepth for the topic is because some things *are* more complicated.
@@laer.393 facts
I love watching your videos because I generally dont know or care about these kind of topics and watching these videos forces me to be open to ideas that I disagree with. I often think that topics like 'microagressions' are just a way for insecure people to be a victim but these videos help open my mind to the possibility that it's not just about that
I really appreciate the nuance that you bring into your videos when discussing these topics
Vermicelli means little worms and Soba (そば, 蕎麦) could be translated to buckwheat noodle or buckwheat vermicelli... So the ticktocker is not wrong and Soba is not the only pasta described as looking little worms. That said the offended folks are not really hurting any one from the comments section of tiktok.
I think that microaggression phenomenon is a wrong way to interpret and to think about human interactions. First of all, them being subtle means that it can create fake problems and control of human expression based on the interpretation of subtle ways of conveying meaning limits free speech and free expression a great deal. Another problem can be the fact that these microaggressions being subtle allow a great deal of room for bias on the part of the person who judges if something is a microaggression or not. In psychology there is known that people that suffer from mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, tend to interpret neutral stimuli as negative ones and react based on the interpretation not on the reality of the fact. This is called negativity bias (which all of us have but which is exaggerated in people with mental illnesses). People that have been discriminated historically and in their life develop a kind of trauma, and I think in them functions something like a mental illness, and an exaggerated negativity bias in how people treat them and from these kind of people sprung the concept of microaggression. As a psychologist I think that the focus should be to validate their experience but also try to make them more resilient to what they perceive as a microaggression. People should be able to withstand microaggressions as defined in the video, if they can't, we get why they react that way due to their history and we should help them but we shouldn't model the entire way of interacting with each other based on the illness of a group. Rather we should see for that group to get treatment. (When someone is having social anxiety we do not model the world to suit the illness but we try to break the pattern of that illness for the individual to better integrate in the world). Also we should always check our own bias, of course, but the bias is in both the "microaggressors" (implicit stereotypes) and the "microvictims" (hypersensitivity and negativity bias). Maybe some will say that I am victim blaming, but I'm actually trying to empower victims to get out of their victim identity. And thus I conclude that the term microaggression is the manifestation of a wrong way of judging human interactions and the problem lies rather in the aggression that creates trauma in people based on their group identity and in the manifestations of an illness that originated in that trauma and that need to be treated.
This is the kind of comment I was looking to find when scrolling. Nuanced, balanced , and most of all Adult. It's an interesting video yet so insufferable for a variety of reasons I'd be hard pressed to put into words and describe succinctly. I'll try though...
Basically, life is life and to go into such depths like the video maker does, to go to such lengths in an attempt to define "microaggression" and find as many reasons as possible to justify its already overly-frequent use while also providing even more examples where one should use the term and then go on to "educate" people further... As if she's doing her part in changing the world for the better by policing language to this absurd, completely anal degree where no term, phrase or even word can be used without first dissecting it's past and current use along with origin, spelling and comparisons with similar words...
All of this is simply a childish attempt at bending reality to ones own micro-bubble. Ones own personal worldview. (Even if it's a growing group) This is indeed a sort of mental illness that these seemingly normal, and yes, very intelligent "modern" people are spouting.
It would be a complete waste of energy for any sane person to focus this much on language on a daily basis. Unless, said person were living in some kind of utopia, where people live for a 1000 years and life has become so peaceful and so stable and so mundane and all problems and diseases and everything remotely bad or inconvenient was purged from the world already... Then, out of sheer boredom, I may consider focusing this much energy n policing language a worthwhile investment.
WE NEED MORE EDUCATED AND QUALIFIED PSYCHOLOGISTS AND PSYCHIATRISTS DEBUNKING THIS MODERN NONSENSE BABBLE ABOUT EVERYONE BEING ENDANGERED IN SOME SUBTLE WAY
i can’t believe how well that video was formatted and articulated. Such good points were made! My 10th grade ss teacher would love this. Ik Im already in love with this channel!
A very good example of the different views people have of the concept of micro-aggression happened to me in a supermarket. I was in an aisle and saw a young girl sitting in an electric wheelchair. This girl seemed (from her physical appearance) to have some kind of disability that affected her movement. I noticed that she was trying to grab some cereal that was on a high shelf, so I approached her and asked her if she needed help (I didn't expect an answer, it was a rhetorical question) and handed her the cereal. My surprise was huge when the girl responded to me in a passive aggressive way, saying things like: "are you helping me just because I have a disability? why do you feel like you have to save me? is it because of some heroin complex that you have?
I was shocked, I didn't apologise or take it back at any point, but I didn't justify myself either. I left the way I came. She bought the box of cereal that (even if she didn't want to) she couldn't have bought without my (or someone else's) help.
At that moment I realised how crazy people can be, I just wanted to help the girl. She detected it as a microaggression, but I still think it was not. Then on tiktok I saw a girl with a similar disability saying how angry she was when someone offered her help in similar cases. I don't understand why anyone turns down any help with contempt, you don't seem to me to be a victim, rather you are ungrateful.
For example, I'm not very strong, and a guy in my building once helped me get a bag out of the lift. I don't think it's sexist, it's not a microaggression. It's a generous reaction to an objective and obviously complicated situation for me. But that's just my opinion.
Microaggressions also happens within the same ethnic group and it happens more than we think. For example, if an African American meets another African American and that African American is about their education and speaks really well, they're accused of acting "White" because they're not speaking ignorantly. Or if a Latin American doesn't speak any Spanish and grew up speaking English as their first language, they're told "How are you Mexican or how are you Puerto Rican but don't speak Spanish?"
This is a video that everyone needs to see
Wow I’m so glad this video was recommended to me! Very nuanced points I didn’t consider before!
That was so interesting ! Thank you for this video. We definitely pick our battles
If someone saying your noodles look like worms "unlocks childhood lunchbox trauma" for you, you need to go to therapy ASAP
I agree with that. I definitely didn’t think that girls intent was to be racist she obviously was just saying it kinda resembled worms.
Okay but this is exactly what we shouldn’t be doing when discussing micro aggressions
@@samirateixeira6954 If were not ready to call out some things as being too sensitive I think we'll eventually all be walking on eggshells around each other. Like at this point anything could be a trigger for anyone.
with that being said; it’s important these conversations be held because some are more micro than others like assuming a black girl hair isnt real simply because she’s black is inherently racist whereas saying “hey guys” which is something you’d have to deal with on a case by case basis
this was such an interesting video! I am a lesbian, but I don't really care about or even label microaggressions directed at me. I personally see all microaggressions as simply misunderstandings because a lot of other aspects of my identity are misunderstood as well. however, I do think it's super important to recognize that other people can find microaggressions really hurtful, especially if you experience them on a daily basis. I really like your point about where we direct the blame. the truth is, we don't need thousands of people telling one person why they are bad for committing a microaggression, we need more discussion/historical context about why certain phrases are harmful to certain people. it's clear you put a lot of effort into this, great work!
I appreciate the way multiple definitions are provided and engaged with critically; multiple angles of analysis
I just came across your videos recently and find them really refreshing and level headed. That you are open to new ideas, and are not judgmental is I think really important. The majority of "microaggressions" I think are like you said, misunderstandings. At least that's what I thought you were saying. It takes a very special kind of willful ignorance, to be truly a horrible person.
its interesting because when people ask “where are you really from” meaning ethnicity wise but we must say ethnicity it is offensive. I think thats the main reason this topic is so grey. Also the “Its good for Asian food”, depending on the person, the individual might themselves not enjoy the general food type as much which makes everything even more complicated.
I think that in the context of English, "Hi, guys," could be considered a microaggression. But, I feel like, along with many other things, we put too much emphasis on attacking and penalizing individuals that use the phrase, rather than having discussions on the actual idea. I feel like the discussion portion is far more important. The focus on policing individuals is harmful because it moves us away from the actual behavior we may consider harmful, and pushes us to avoid responsibility because, "I'm not a racist", or "I'm not a sexist." I'll admit, I still say "bruh" and "hey, guys", and though I don't intend for it to make people feel excluded, I've learned that sometimes it does. So, I try to say, "Hey, y'all," a little more, especially with strangers.
for real. i hate how people try to come up with an outlandish idea without thinkign aboutcontext, or what actually caused the harmful thing to happen. i could make a whole essay about the words "guys, bro, dude" etc.
yeah like, we understand that the people who use the phrase hey guys aren't intending to be harmful, they have seen it as something normal, now the problem we should adress here is WHY is that seem as something normal. and it all narrows down to mysoginy. People like to keep in tradition things from yeaars ago, for example here in latin america we still celebrate the quinceañera that originally it's meaning was to celebrate a 15 yo child becoming a "woman", pretty disgusting, and it still has these connontations but more lighter because everyone knows a 15 yo is a child. So how it's happening that years and years of evolution and it seems like we are just going back in time? aren't we supossed to be smart? and why we keep feeding of wanting to still use these things like, so much we want to keep having mysoginystic traits?
@@ketokeko @Alex Jinks Yea and i think y’all point out something really important, that is, that we might all follow a misogynistic tradition without being misogynists (at least within the time and place that you exist). That doesn’t sound like it makes sense right off the bat, but it is entirely possible that “hey guys” will phase out of popularity, just like how homophobic jokes in Western comedy have become much less popular. And I’m not saying that the two are equal, but it’s possible we might realize that something we thought of as small did end up being harmful. And I feel like part of the problem is that we need to empower more people from underrepresented groups, so that they can address significant problems to a greater audience. We also need to recognize that problems evolve, and solutions are not just a one and done deal.
You’re channel gives me a lot of hope in a way that I’m not even entirely sure how to verbalize.
I just found your channel and I love you so much already! 💗
What?? An actual rational and perspect-heavy content creator that does not feed into the madness of the two poles of the political spectrum? Amazing!
Sometimes it is "microaggression" other times it is unnecessary nitpicking and overthinking.
this was vv well thought out !!
You brought up a lot of really good points that made me think.
Hi guys is anything but a microaggression im nonbinary and i say that. If someone says "hey could you stop doing that i just dont like hey guys" then ok i wont do it, but stop getting offended over something as small as hey guys
That's why I love living in my country. Most of us eat similar things everyday, and we love food from every culture. Instead of side eyeing a plate of food, we usually ask what others are eating and try it for ourselves. I've had that experience a few times.
My parents would ask people from another table about what they're eating cus it just looks so good. Other families would also ask us what we were eating and try it out cus they haven't been to that restaurant before.
Although multicultural, I still do see microaggressions in SG's society. There is a lot of tension between our majority and minorities due to history, past traumas, and past experiences. I'm still trying to relearn some things I've been taught over the years. It's often that I catch myself saying terrible things that my society has normalised.
I like the way you think, it makes me reconsider things that I sometimes don't think about. Also, I love how this hairstyle looks on you .
Your lead up to some of the things you say makes me really apprehensive: I'm fully expecting you to go in a completely different direction than where you actually go. But the delivery of your punchlines blow me away everytime, I love it 😂
that editing 😩
This video has simultaneously reinforced both Mmy skepricism and acceptance of micro-aggression management. I think micro-aggression studies are important and necessary, but I don't think we should ever blane people who use micro-aggressions.
I think micro-aggressions actually describe systemic oppression, and are not about the individual in any way other then just being aware of the meaning if the language you speak. I think we should ultimately curb micro-aggressive behavior and speech, but this should be by encouraging people to learn more and understand the meaning of it all.
Instead, I see that the political movements that most push micro-aggressions to the forefront, are simply virtue-signalling; and they use this very enlightened theory and research to police other's behavior and speech. All the while they act like a shining becon of righteousness, and yet never speak on the realest issues of substance; _THAT ARE NOT _*_MICRO_*_ ._
YES I was desperately searching for such a comment. Thank you, couldn't agree more!!
I think it depends on the context whether you can blame the individual. I think generally you shouldn't think that the person is being purposely malicious, but I think that there are definitely instances where you can reasonable be mad at the individual(such as repeated behavior/lack of change after educating). Besides that yeah, I agree that when people make a big deal about MAs and demonizing people instead of just helping them better understand definitely don't help any cause, but also I think that a majority of people disagree with how they act even within their broader movements/causes.
This is a comment made by another poster, not me, just one or two posts above. And I agree with this sentiment whole-heartedly.
think that microaggression phenomenon is a wrong way to interpret and to think about human interactions. First of all, them being subtle means that it can create fake problems and control of human expression based on the interpretation of subtle ways of conveying meaning limits free speech and free expression a great deal. Another problem can be the fact that these microaggressions being subtle allow a great deal of room for bias on the part of the person who judges if something is a microaggression or not. In psychology there is known that people that suffer from mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, tend to interpret neutral stimuli as negative ones and react based on the interpretation not on the reality of the fact. This is called negativity bias (which all of us have but which is exaggerated in people with mental illnesses). People that have been discriminated historically and in their life develop a kind of trauma, and I think in them functions something like a mental illness, and an exaggerated negativity bias in how people treat them and from these kind of people sprung the concept of microaggression. As a psychologist I think that the focus should be to validate their experience but also try to make them more resilient to what they perceive as a microaggression. People should be able to withstand microaggressions as defined in the video, if they can't, we get why they react that way due to their history and we should help them but we shouldn't model the entire way of interacting with each other based on the illness of a group. Rather we should see for that group to get treatment. (When someone is having social anxiety we do not model the world to suit the illness but we try to break the pattern of that illness for the individual to better integrate in the world). Also we should always check our own bias, of course, but the bias is in both the "microaggressors" (implicit stereotypes) and the "microvictims" (hypersensitivity and negativity bias). Maybe some will say that I am victim blaming, but I'm actually trying to empower victims to get out of their victim identity. And thus I conclude that the term microaggression is the manifestation of a wrong way of judging human interactions and the problem lies rather in the aggression that creates trauma in people based on their group identity and in the manifestations of an illness that originated in that trauma and that need to be treated.
@@ivankatalinic2881well said
This video rlly helped, ngl I was showing microaggression without knowing it, by wondering where ur REALLY from, and I’m glad I watched this video before asking someone.
I really appreciated how you took us step by step thru analyzing what constitutes microaggressions/misunderstandings. I agree we should all try to be good to each other but I personally feel that the problem is that almost anything could potentially be considered a microaggression to someone. Personally I don't agree with "hi guys" being a microaggression; I think enough people use that as a gender neutral expression for it not to be. If the person I was talking to directly said that phrase made them uncomfortable, I would try not to use it with them but I wouldn't remove that from my speech entirely because I don't think its interpreted that way by most people. (also, note, there are now people who say being called people is a microaggression because they identify as something else.)
how basically everyone in brazil are mixed we always ask someone where they are from because everyone has at least two ethnicities to cite. I myself have four different ethnicities backgrounds haha. I think colonization happens in many ways. I never really understand the obsession north americans have with any race or origin that isn't white and cristian. here we ask the question more like on a icebreaker manner, trying to found similarities between people
Ahahaha it's the same where I live, so many people have different ethnicities or nationalities even incl. white people so it's a commen question especially when you notice someone has a "different" sounding name (like Italian, english...,)
In the U.S, yt ppl backhandedly ask BIPOC and POC ‘where they’re from’ because yt ppl can’t fathom that POC can be from america and still be POC
Yup all us « yt people » can’t fathom different looking Americans …
@@jeffm.5071 I’ve literally been asked this question before☠️ it is 9/10 asked in a rude manner. Usually followed up with ‘no where are u really from?’ Out here acting like I said all white ppl☠️☠️
I can't believe the kids in your class would call your food weird??? Like I would always hope my friends who bought different meals would share 😭😭 that's so mean of them, I'm sorry you had to experience this
white people moment
It even happened to me as a German among other Germans. When I brought special regional cheese to class other kids told me my food was weird too. I don’t think it’s unusual for kids to be surprised by unusual food, but it obviously depends on the way they act. „Wow that looks weird, can I try some?“ has different vibe than „Look at him and his weird food!“. In both cases the food is described as weird but only in one case I‘d feel insulted or alienized.
I decided to eat a packet of salmon for lunch one day in elementary school and everyone was talking about how I was offending them with the smell. Even if it's not foreign food American kids just don't like anything that isn't the typical hotdogs and pizza
It has happened to me before too. When I was in middle school, I brought authentic Chinese food for lunch and people said it smelled gross and I was weird lol. But I went to a 95% white school so I guess the most “Chinese” food they’d seen was Panda Express. I know we were all kids, but I was bullied solely for my race being different. I wished that I went to a school with more Asians so I wouldn’t feel so left out.
Holy crap- you need more views! You're amazing, this video was really good!
I really like all of your videos I’ve watched so far, you are very articulate and explain your stance very well. Although i generally agree with a lot of your points, the times I do not you offer great insight that makes me ponder my belief.
This definition seems to fit very well the psychology behind the usage of the word. That said, regardless of definition…intent and context does matter. So many micro-aggressions are due to the evolving nature of language AND evolving nature of diversity acceptance within society. It becomes absurd to question the ethics of someone based on semantics and colloquialisms. Paradoxically I do think it is important to define some of these micro-aggressions and call them out when appropriate but I believe we need to be more tolerant of individuals merely trying to be friendly. It certainly is a very nuanced subject that is clearly not well understood or acutely defined.
“Hi guys” definitely does not insinuate that men are the only or best gender. We already agreed it’s used as a gender neutral phrase. Beyond that, it’s completely impractical to try to persuade people to change that language, apart from telling kids that it’s wrong to say (via the education system). And pushing people to change such harmless language is counterproductive to the whole project of getting people to be more reflective about their language use.
This is the kind of thing that makes people laugh at the left, regardless of the actual merits of the argument.
The noodle one is even more absurd. There has to be a point at which individual sensitivity is questioned. Even the “where are you really from?” is just a semantic issue, because they’re obviously trying to ask about ethnicity, which should be fine to do. But I agree, people should learn to ask that in a better way. Then again, what is the foolproof way to ask that without people being offended? IDK
And I don’t think it’s okay to attack a group just because hey aren’t traditionally marginalized group. I would have felt the same way as you a decade ago. But trashing men and white people has become a very prominent trend in a lot of places. Like on Kurtis Connor’s comment section there are top comments with thousands of likes that say things “men are trash.” And nobody cares if you find that disrespectful and inappropriate because “it’s punching up.” And if you object you get ratioed by people saying things like “cry harder.”
I’m not pretending to be oppressed, but it’s a little said when so many people on the left are persuaded by their politics to forgo basic human decency for certain groups of people. And again, this is counterproductive. It makes me (and many others) feel resentful. The left shouldn’t be pushing white people and men away. And while my politics will never be changed because some people on the internet weren’t nice to me, that’s not true for everyone. This does push people away.
Anyway, you’re clearly very thoughtful in your reasoning and I respect that.
I definitely agree that statements like, "men are trash" can be hurtful to hear and there is a discourse that is happening around that problem. I can point you to a video that actually address this although its from a bisexuals perspective. I think another perspective to consider is that for many individuals this is there way of expressing their rage and anger in having to experience bigotry. I'm not saying you have to be comfortable with what some people might say but I dont think that the actions of a few should be an excuse to feel "resentment" or engage in bigoted behavior. There needs to be a balance between people expressing their anger and education.
I agree 100%
@@moonmann4072 people are too sensitive. I'm Muslim, black, poor and a women( though I don't see that trait as a minority) and I get ask lots of "dumb" questions. If the person has no intention of being offensive then why get mad? If you don't like it than tell them and move on. Goodness
@@saraha.1336 That’s great, I’m glad your able to handle those type of situations.
I thought the same..someone is just asking about ethnicity ..not sure how that’s wrong
Most clever thought on microagression I was able to find is - if it is microagression shouldn't we have microreaction to it?
after watching your gen z humor video I've been so into the execution and the depth of your content
usually I just drop people and move on but your topics and opinions are too interesting lol
I strive to be as philosophical as you. I recently discovered your channel and I have been really enjoying it. Great analysis and explanations. 🐧
Hey! I wanted to ask you why did you define the microaggresion as a specific type of misunderstanding in the final definition even though, in the time stamp of misunderstanding vs microaggresion, you explained the difference between these two? By the way, I admire that you are really good at explaining your points of view
hi! i meant it as in creating a new sub-type of misunderstandings. currently, we think of misunderstandings and microaggressions to be different but i'm suggesting that microaggressions are just a form of misunderstandings :) thanks for your comment!
@@oliSUNvia Thank you too!!
Love how she brings up Foucault and completely fails to draw a parallel between the kind of language policing she's doing/advocating for and Foucault's point.
Imma bring up Stu Gryffin, who said it in the most succinct way possible:
"Where are you from?" : micro aggression focusing on my cultural heritage beyond the current location.
Don't care where you're from.." : micro aggression for not valuing my cultural heritage beyond the current location.
Micro aggressions are bs and a game that everyone can play but no-one can win."
And another quote here by Ciprian Turta:
" I think that microaggression phenomenon is a wrong way to interpret and to think about human interactions. First of all, them being subtle means that it can create fake problems and control of human expression based on the interpretation of subtle ways of conveying meaning limits free speech and free expression a great deal. Another problem can be the fact that these microaggressions being subtle allow a great deal of room for bias on the part of the person who judges if something is a microaggression or not. In psychology there is known that people that suffer from mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, tend to interpret neutral stimuli as negative ones and react based on the interpretation not on the reality of the fact. This is called negativity bias (which all of us have but which is exaggerated in people with mental illnesses). People that have been discriminated historically and in their life develop a kind of trauma, and I think in them functions something like a mental illness, and an exaggerated negativity bias in how people treat them and from these kind of people sprung the concept of microaggression. As a psychologist I think that the focus should be to validate their experience but also try to make them more resilient to what they perceive as a microaggression. People should be able to withstand microaggressions as defined in the video, if they can't, we get why they react that way due to their history and we should help them but we shouldn't model the entire way of interacting with each other based on the illness of a group. Rather we should see for that group to get treatment. (When someone is having social anxiety we do not model the world to suit the illness but we try to break the pattern of that illness for the individual to better integrate in the world). Also we should always check our own bias, of course, but the bias is in both the "microaggressors" (implicit stereotypes) and the "microvictims" (hypersensitivity and negativity bias). Maybe some will say that I am victim blaming, but I'm actually trying to empower victims to get out of their victim identity. And thus I conclude that the term microaggression is the manifestation of a wrong way of judging human interactions and the problem lies rather in the aggression that creates trauma in people based on their group identity and in the manifestations of an illness that originated in that trauma and that need to be treated."
fantastic comment
Olivias annunciation is great, I bet those not so fluent with English don't struggle to understand what she's saying. Informative, concise and entertaining as always👍
this video was awesome. you defo deserve more support. subbed!!!
I remember in year 1, we were at lunch and a couple of boys wanted me to leave them alone, so they said "guys only" and little me just got really confused, because "I *am* a guy, you've addressed me as part of guys before!" so uhh yeah I'd say it's a fairly gender neutral term lol
My logic for this is certainly not great, but I think that the more we use benign terms like “guys” or “man” the less we will associate them with one specific gender, and I find that to be a good thing, considering we should be striving to break gender norms.
I love your videos, they always make me think
I’ve never considered “hey guys” a micro aggression but I also don’t use or I am cautious to use it to other than cis binary people.
Incredible argumentation and nuance!
i thought she said "worms" bc all long pasta kinda looks like worms but ig i was wrong
as an enby who was very tomboyish in my childhood/teenage years (and still am!), I've been mockingly called a guy/intersex (native language specific equivalent, mostly connected to bacteria/lower life-forms) and im not gonna lie, at 24 im still dealing with the impact of that. nowadays its mostly people staring at me but i know too well why they're staring. its not hard to see disgust/confusion/ contempt in their eyes.
so yeah, masculinity being seen as default, the "hey guys" is annoying and tiring. im not insulted by it and sometimes i don't notice it, but i will never see it as gender neutral. its not. its just coming from masculinity/ men being seen as default and imo its better we transition socially to other terms rather than go "oh but its gender neutral now!" so we can keep using it and not change
Exactly!!! I hate how everyone is ignoring the reason why people don't take much offense to "Hi guys", its so much deeper than people think.
Dear God your good at this. Wtf I love this and gained a deeper understanding of the subject
I don't think "hi guys" should really be thought of a micro aggression
9:47 i love this point and i say this all the time. just because it’s cis white men people slander on the internet doesn’t mean it isn’t still slander. just because more women are r*ped than men doesn’t mean no men are r*ped. i’m of the opinion that to move forward as a collective human race we need to ditch the “but they did it first” ideal
No one has said men can't be r@ped, don't know where your getting that....
As an Indian guy, when someone says "your English is so good" i appreciate the compliment, i don't lecture them on Political Correctness or give a rhetorical remark, I feel flattered and pass a compliment back.
Omg I love your video, I use to get really upset when people gave me back handed compliments like " oh you look good even for someone who has Asian monolid eyes" and I was told I shouldn't be upset but I felt the agression that was tagged on to the comments. Like I should be ugly just because my facial feature are "Asian"
omg, i have secretly struggled with this in my intros. I tend to change it up cuz i feel weird saying "hi guys" to everybody, specially knowing that most of my audience identify as female, i dont want anyone to feel excluded.
Awesome video
dw maybe 7 people total on the earth is offended by "hey guys"
Do not feel to bad about having a different lunch. As an American, and there for an authority on these issues, I am pretty sure Canada has only 4 food groups:
1. Kraft dinner
2. Poutine
3. Marple Syrup
4. Ketchup Chips
I am pretty sure none of these are included in a balanced diet so you are probably better off. Wait is my generalization of all Canadian food a micro aggression... Sorry...
Hey tf you just did a microaggression to Quebec by suggesting it's inherently part of Canada and not an independent nation, by listing poutine, it's most famous export, as "Canadian" food, how dare
@@Longcatcloud I also appropriated the Canadian word sorry which I definitely said in a fake Canadian accent. ( In the US Sorry is just a board game, but I hear it a lot when I go to Canada, I am still trying to figure out what it means)
@@KingofGeo I believe you used it appropriately, though I'm getting kind of microaggravated here needing to speak with someone from New York
@@Longcatcloud "Can't you see I am waking here!" I think that's how they say it in New York
I think the elderly ARE a historically oppressed group. The idea that people are past their “prime” is not new. Perhaps it’s more intersectional eg older women perceived as “past their prime” vs men?
Thank you for this! I really like your channel; you hit a lot of great topics. I cannot count count how many times I've heard "no, but where are you really from" from people after replying California. I laughed so hard and slapped my side when you quoted that exact phrase hahaha Actually, I find it awkwardly amusing when I just say the city I was born in, that has an English name, because it often befuddles the people who expect an exotic location. I then feel a little mean cause I know it's not the answer they expected; but it is accurate! Oh, and I'm not even gonna touch on all the disability microaggressions!! I started a whole channel over it, sort of, in part hahaha
Instead of defaulting to "guys" I've found that using "y'all" is helpful when addressing groups of diverse gender, which is something I've been using more and more since one of my best friends and their partner are experimenting with being non-binary. Not to say that I believe that calling a group "guys" is an issue but using "y'all" among other things is one of the various ways that I've tried to make my speech more potentially inclusive. Growing up I tried to avoid using that and other southern colloquialisms because of the broad cultural implications that having a country accent meant you're dumb but now I find that using "y'all" has linguistic and social utility. I find that a lot of left leaning people online tend to try and exaggerate a country accent specifically when they parody reactionary talking points. I feel like people who grew up in rural areas especially in the south not wanting to be automatically associated with ignorance due to their accent falls in the camp of vulnerabilities that society currently dgaf about.
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals works too.
@@chandranelson2772 folks
For real, some american "leftist" have ironically classist issues. They always shame people that comes from poor areas, they humiliate farmers/country people and I am wondering if they know what being a leftist means. It also exclude poor people and country people from the left and the only party in which they feel kinda accepted is ..... *drum beating* ... Republicans ! People that hate even more poor people but manage to make them feel included
@@mississipi1103 say it louder for those in the back
@@mississipi1103 Left means unionising. America doesn't have Left.