How To Date An Emotionally Unavailable Man: Is It Possible?

[@Loverofartsandmusic]

An advice from someone who serially dated unavailable men: NEVER FILL YOUR HOPE UP. Stop when you see the signs. When I was younger, I used to stay and hope that they'll change. They won't. Probably will but not for you. I seem to get attracted to them because of my attachment style and been improving on this. Dating an emotionally unavailable man is like being with someone who's physically there but missing a soul. They will want you to see what you want to see and hear but they will remain mysterious.
I recently dated one again and I've stopped it quickly. It was terrible. I liked him but he is not capable of giving what I want.

[@tiname1805]

“They will but not for you”…way to go about it. So you’re basically saying he will change for someone else

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

Yea I honestly don’t understand why some women punish themselves like this but at least you learned the lesson

[@gemmaburns6407]

Does this sound like a man that emotionally unavailable, when we 1st met he chased for 6mths before i agreed on a date, we hit it off or so I thought, we dated and was together all the time he would put in loads of effort and made me feel amazing then it was time for the sex! It wasn’t fire works but I understood that he hadn’t had anyexperience, I actually thought that was a good thing as I hadn’t either, even tho he was 44 at the time, anyway after about a yr I felt something wasn’t right my gut was thinking is he secretly gay, I had the conversation with him and obviously he said he wasn’t, things were good but the intimacy wasn’t how it should feel so I tried to have the conversation that things wasn’t right and maybe we’re not right for each other he would get upset and beg me to stay, I met his parents all his family members and his friends, holidays etc iv never met an emotionally unavailable man before but as the time went on the relationship never got any deeper, to the point I was experiencing anxiety which I never have in my life, something just felt off, anyway after 4 yrs of living apart we were do to move in together 2mths ago but I really felt he was pushing me away so I ended things, now 3mths later I’m back to my old self back in control, he’s now wanting to start the friendship crap, do avoidant people come across as gay or are they just toxic, any thoughts much appreciated 😅

[@adrij1640]

​@@IntegrityMeansAllbelieve me, we don't want to. I know the roots of mine and have been working on it for years. Just haven't figured out how to change who I'm attracted to yet. Which are typically super fine, totally wrecked messes disguised as men. I saw a thing today that said broken men know who to love, but not how to love. And broken women know how to love but not who to love. Fits my experience. So now it's time that I change my identity and stop seeing myself as broken. Because I've been thinking with broken men, we get each other. But instead, I end up worse off. So I'm doing identity and attachment work now.

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

@@adrij1640 I understand and I’m sorry you’re going through this but you recondition yourself to be repulsed by bad men

[@Diarrheagod]

Why would anyone be attracted to an emotionally unavailable man? Y’all women need to stop with this bs and raise your standards and heal yourself. If he’s unavailable then you need to make yourself scarce aswell as any attraction you have for him. Be single stop being thirsty for a man or a relationship.

[@nofybn7794]

EXACTLY!! I had to learn.

[@fishstickbio594]

In this ERA ….the answer is ….ABSOLUTLY NOT . Sex only based relationships are not sought out …… spread the word .

[@user-tt8vg7jk2u]

Exactly!

[@user-tt8vg7jk2u]

Just make a guy comitt otherwise just be friends only with him and don't let him have the assets then. Why give him what he wants if he's not Giveing you what you want first.

[@fishstickbio594]

@@user-tt8vg7jk2u ….Intimacy is much more fun .

[@fishstickbio594]

@@user-tt8vg7jk2u correct …👍

[@Diarrheagod]

@@user-tt8vg7jk2uyou can’t “make” anyone do anything. Besides why do you want to force anyone to do anything? You should want someone who is openly willing. And by giving someone access to you is having access to your assets = YOUR ENERGY …period! Stop with the whole “let’s be friends”. That’s a bs line y’all keep telling yourselves. You’re just lying to yourself. Just stop.

[@diamanta_lht2106]

Most of the time they just don’t like you! Or see you as long term.

[@Senny_sen]

Why would anyone want to be with an emotionally unable person its sad and desperate.

[@user-tt8vg7jk2u]

I know that's what I think too.

[@Diarrheagod]

Because they have issues within themselves that they have not healed yet therefore they are attracted to someone who perpetrates their cycle of pain.

[@creatureofstyle]

Because sometimes you don't know they're emotionally unavailable until it's too late and you've fallen in love. Sometimes they lie and tell you they want a commited relationship when they really don't 🤷‍♀️

[@user-iq7hv7ud8u]

"Invest less and get the same great treatment from her, why would I change"?? Cmon!!!! Dissappear ladies❤ go heal, and find someone better❤

[@roseluz1765]

ELLIOT TELLS LADIES WHAT THEIR MOTHERS SHOULD BE TEACHING THEM ! BELIEVE IN YOUR WORTH, A GUY HAS TO EARN YOU ! TODAY, MANY GUYS USE WOMEN FOR SEX, FOR THEIR PLEASURE, KNOWING THAT SHE IS INTO HIM, AND ONCE HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS, HE SKIPS .. MAKE HIM WAIT FOR A VERY LONG TIME BEFORE GIVING HIM SEX, PREFERABLY, MARRIAGE, IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU, HE WILL RESPECT YOU AND WAIT..
IN MY LINE OF WORK I WORK WITH VERY MANY MEN, LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE, I HEAR THEIR CONVERSATIONS ABOUT WOMEN AND DATING, LADIES, UP THE ANTE, GUYS TODAY ARE SO NOT RESPECTING THAT SHE IS SOMEONE’S DAUGHTER, SOMEONE’S SISTER, AT LEAST UPHOLD YOUR FAMILY DIGNITY AND TELL THAT FOOL WHO WANTS CASUAL SEX “GET A’SKIPPIN!”

[@Sparksflymich]

LEAVE THEM. GET ANOTHER MAN. PERIOD!

[@nofybn7794]

SCRATCH THAT, FORGET ALL MEN.

[@Kinteresting]

Elliot hi, you need to post this video, along with the 'when a guy wants to be friends' one, every day, and require ALL women to watch it, before even watching any other videos that you have and enter a special code to prove they did because it is LITERALLY THE ONLY ADVICE ANYONE NEEDS THE REST WON'T EVEN HAPPEN IF YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THIS OMFG LORD PLEASE GIVE ME THAT TIME OF MY LIFE WASTED BACK, AND PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH NOT TO SET THAT MAN'S CAR ON FIRE.
Nevermind on the last line above, I know damn well the only person whose car I should be lighting on fire is my own. Well. At least I learned. Trying to frame it with a silver lining so I stay out of prison. It is amazing how wasting a woman's time will shift her from being overly understanding, from a space of using emotions over logic, to legit being capable of crime. Of crime Elliot.

[@Sparksflymich]

you are really the best dating coach out there on the topic of emotional unavailability.. some other coaches don't even know what they're talking about but you drill deep into the male psychology!

[@sunnydayz3577]

I freaking love your videos. I know that we can trust you 💯. Also love how you're so passionate about it

[@lisabuckner243]

I’m sorry; but unless a guy has serious mental health issues; “emotionally unavailable” means nothing. It’s called- He’s Not into you!

[@sansadrake4133]

No there are emotionally unavailable types who have a mental block about relationships

[@richerDiLefto]

@@sansadrake4133 ​Then they’d better mentally unblock it. That’s the only answer to the problem.

[@miraclestivender651]

It's not that their not into. It's just they can't neet your emotional needs. Yes they'll want to see and be with you but it's only going to be superficial. It's not going to go any deeper than that.

[@Jules-740]

I never want to date an emotionally unavailable man and would like to learn how to avoid it. Can you do one on how we can spot an unavailable man early on maybe even from date #1-3?

[@freespirit1978]

It's not about avoiding it, it's about avoiding falling for them. Once you fall, it's doomed if he's emotionally unavailable 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Jules-740]

@freespirit1978 Dang! So freaking true! How do we avoid falling for those? I mean maybe there is a way to spot them before you fall for them?

[@creatureofstyle]

It's just impossible to know sometimes. I dated a man I'd been friends with for 4 years. Stupidly allowed myself to fall for him because he'd pursued me for 3 of those 4 years, knew what I'd been through in my previous relationship, knew me, knew my life, etc... so I thought he was a safe space and had serious intentions... but nope. Completely ruined the first half of my year loving him while he faded then ghosted me

[@Jules-740]

@@creatureofstyle Dam! And you knew this guy for what I would think more than long enough! I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. And then he had the gall to ghost you?! I can't even imagine.

[@ellamorani5327]

You act more emotional unavailable than him. Just fall for his wallet...this is the trick cuz he will want you to like him more than just money or he will want you to go 50:50 with him but than you pull away

[@DontDishItOutIfYouCantTakeIt]

It can still be life or death if you make the wrong decision.

[@bettydamalis]

women dont listen to their emotions all the time they also have needs just like men do

[@pam164]

No its just heartbreak.

[@Machenziethemodel]

Yea I’m dating other people if I’m still around then maybe.

[@annajessicapintodeandrade8106]

Even tough he is my committed boyfriend, I think he is emotionally unavailable and avoidant for sure! He already told me that he can't say "I love you" and that he has trauma from past relationships. I think he wants to be with me because I'm nice, but not out of passion. My fear is to waste time with someone who will never go out of his bubble, and live on breadcrumbs. As I'm working on my self love and understanding what I am (and provide) in a relationship, I"m losing interest on him. I've been together for more than a year, so I'm finding it hard to let go of my sand castles.

[@eva-nr2bs]

Argue logic and fairness. Love it !!!

[@eva-nr2bs]

Love,love,love your guidance and help 👍

[@veronicasmith1332]

nooooooooo never again

[@CoNsidEriTLuCKy]

I heard a quote that stuck with me. “Your dream man isn’t going to be a man who doesn’t want to be with you.” That’s a lesson I’ve had to learn this year 🥲

[@rareroseglosses1554]

Elliot when you say I'm a boss ssa bitch I laugh so hard it's like you're talking to me personally

[@EdelweisSusie]

I suppose that's the difference between average-looking/below average-looking women and attractive women: the former are just strung along/taken for granted/given minimal attention and no commitment because they're easy to discard; whereas a man is terrified of losing the attractive woman so he commits before someone else snaps her up. Simple when you think about it. Elliot's so right - don't give your heart or body to a man who isn't there for you when you need him - you're worth more, trust me.

[@basicinfo2022]

Even pretty girls get played and strung along if they're dating a toxic man. Dont take it personal or internalize rejection. Everyone has a type and you can't force a feeling.

[@pam164]

Nothing to do with looks. My ex left me for a woman that is very plain and unattractive, 8 years later he still with her.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Absolutely nothing to do with how you look. It's all your mindset and how vulnerable you are to these games they play. Do you have self respect as well.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Good video

[@richerDiLefto]

1. Don’t.

[@karentrevino6904]

Elliot, how can I schedule a date with you?

[@renchemarais8419]

😂🎉❤😊
We LIKE YOU Elliott

[@GilliMarieMoody]

😢🌬️❤️‍🩹🕊️

[@user-jw1bl4hq9j]

Most likely he is GAY ….

[@claracruz9066]

Have fun with them!!!
😂😂

[@bettydamalis]

this dude is so backward in thinking ladies listen to alex mindful attraction hes much more modern in thinking and claiming that Sex isnt what holds your value its not the best part of you, it doesnt turn off a guy what turns a guy off is you giving him access to your life committing your life to him giving him your time and day thats where your value lies not in your organs

[@Jules-740]

Both Alex and Elliot are good. Elliot doesn't say what you are claiming at all. He has the same stance on things as Alex does. They just have different styles of delivery.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

And you can't beat biology I'm sorry culture creation and society will not win this war.